Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own nothin'. Everything belongs to Joss and Mutant Enemy.
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Angel sat quietly reeling from the shock of Buffy's abrupt departure from his life.
How long he had been sitting, he did not know, but he was startled from his reverie by shuffling feet. He looked up hoping to see Buffy, but expecting to see Xander with a stake. Angel was not prepared for the uncertain redhead standing in the door way.
"Willow."
The hacker smiled shyly. "Hey . . . Angel."
Angel stood slowly, but remained where he was afraid of frightening the poor girl.
Seeing that Angel wasn't a threat to her, Willow came forward into the room stopping only six feet from him.
"I just wanted to see how you were. And to thank you for saving my life. That watcher was crazy."
Angel managed a small smile. "I owed you, Willow. I owe all of you." He gestured for her to take a seat on the couch and was immensely pleased when she did so without hesitation.
Angel sat down on the other side, still being careful to make a sudden move and frighten Willow. "How is the other Slayer? It was Faith right?"
"She's uh, good. She's not speaking to Buffy anymore, but it could have been worse." Willow hesitated looking down before locking her gaze with Angel's.
"I saw Buffy on my way here. She seemed upset. What happened?"
Angel stood abruptly, and Willow barely restrained herself from flinching. Angel paced away from the couch and went to stand before the fireplace. He stared into the flames for a long moment before answering Willow's question. When he did speak his voice was raw with barely repressed despair. "She told me that she couldn't be around me. That we weren't just friends and could never be."
Willow stood unable to sit idly by while he suffered. She watched him for a long moment, noting his slumped shoulders and the weariness of how he stood. He had changed so much. The Angel she had known had been tortured by guilt, but his shoulders had been straight with hard resolve. Even his manner of dress was different. He no longer sported beautiful shirts and leather jackets. He now wore simple shirt and worn pants.
Willow moved forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Talk to me Angel. I wanna help, I'll listen if you want."
Angel turned, his chocolate brown eyes boring into her emerald ones. "Why?"
Willow stared at him no comprehending the question.
Angel noticed her confusion so he elaborated. "Why would you do that for me?"
"Oh. Angel, look it took a while for it to sink in but I realized that what happened wasn't your fault. You didn't ask to loose your soul, you had no control over what happened after. And if you ask me you've more than paid for it. You went to Hell, Angel. You suffered centuries of torment. Buffy told me what you were like when she found you. You've suffered enough."
Angel grabbed Willow's shoulders. "No! I haven't suffered enough. It will never be enough. I've betrayed so many people."
"What about how you've been betrayed?" Willow raiser her chin in defiance of his words.
"Willow," Angel begged, "I killed Jenny and tried to kill you all. I'm the only one who's betrayed."
"Ms. Calendar betrayed you by not telling us about the curse. Buffy betrayed you when she sent you to Hell. Xander betrayed you when he sent Faith after you." Willow raised a hand to his face and caressed his cheek gently. Her touch seemed to restore his calm and his grip on her shoulders loosened and his hands dropped to his sides.
Willow reached for his hand and led him to the couch like a child. When he was seated Willow sat beside him and hugged him.
"Please, Angel tell me how you feel. Even if you don't think that I'll like it, don't hold anything back."
Angel opened his mouth to speak but couldn't force the words from his mouth.
"Angel," she said, taking his chin in her hands, "I want you to look into my eyes and let your mind go blank. Trust me."
Angel nodded and met her emerald gaze. He cleared his mind and felt himself falling into that gaze. "I wanted her dead."
"Who did you want dead, Angel?"
"Buffy. When I saw her the first time after I got out of Hell, all I could remember was her stabbing me. I hated her more in that moment than Angelus ever could."
And now you hate yourself for hating her?" Willow wanted so much to take him in her arms but restrained herself knowing that they would need to make more progress that night.
"What do you feel for Buffy now?"
"I love her."
Willow felt a tear run down her cheek and she allowed herself to look away, breaking the spell Angel had fallen under.
"Willow?" Angel question blinking.
"Sshh . . . you need to rest." She helped him stretch out on the couch and covered him with a blanket and held his hand until he drifted off to sleep.
After writing a not which she left on the table beside him, Willow kissed his cheek and left for home. But she'd be back tomorrow and as often as she could from then on. Angel needed a friend and she couldn't deny him. But more than that she couldn't deny herself and the love she felt for him.
The End