Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't own nothin'. Everything belongs to Joss and Mutant Enemy.
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Angel walked slowly down the street
*I've got to be crazy* He thought. *She doesn't want to see me.*
He was heading towards the house of the one person he'd always been able to call 'friend.'
Angel knew that he should stay away from all of the Slayerettes, but he couldn't bare this solitude. Buffy had abandoned him. *I love her so much. I can't get through this alone. I'm still weak, and I cant deal with the nightmares by myself.*
It had become a daily routine for Angel. No sooner would he close his eyes than his mind would be filled with the images of his victims.
Before he knew it, Angel was standing in front of Willow's house. This was something else that scared him. He had been spacing out a lot since he had returned from Hell. He couldn't remember anything about the walk over. Angel was seized by sudden panic and turned to flee. But he couldn't go. He *needed* to know how she would receive him.
He climbed up her balcony fighting back his ever present exhaustion. Angel could see Willow sitting at her computer and he knocked softly on her door.
Willow turned around and bolted to her feet when she saw him. "Angel." It came out as barely a whisper.
She came slowly to the door as if being drawn against her will. "Why are you here, Angel?" she demanded, her voice trembling.
Angel heard the fear in her voice and immediately turned to go. He hadn't made it two steps, however when he was overcome by one of his frequent bouts of weakness and sank to his knees, clutching the railing for support.
Willow saw him collapse and without thinking, flung open the door and ran to his side. She could see how his body trembled with exhaustion and she was overcome with pity. Willow hesitantly placed her hand on his shoulder.
Angel jumped when he felt her hand. He hadn't heard her come out and hadn't expected her too. But there she was smiling reassuringly at him, compassion shining in her eyes.
Willow slowly knelt beside him. "You need to rest. Lets get you inside." Willow couldn't believe that she was going to let him back into her house.
*He saved my life!* she told herself firmly as she drew his arm over her shoulders and slowly helped him to his feet. She was surprised at how heavily he leaned upon her. Willow looked up into his face and was startled to see that his eyes were glazed. She ushered him into her room and made him sit on the bed.
"Angel?" she called worriedly.
Angel's eyes cleared and he looked up in answer to her call. He then looked about him and realized that after everything he had done she had brought him into her home.
"Willow?" he questioned. Angel's eyes met hers and he was startled to see the worry there. *Is she worried about me?" Angel scolded himself for such foolish thoughts. *Probably worried that I'll hurt her.*
Willow knelt in front of him, and grasped his chin firmly in her hand. "Angel, why are you here? What happened?" Her heart broke as his eyes filled with tears. Instinctively she hugged him tightly and was astonished when he began to sob quietly in her arms.
"She left me. She said that she couldn't be around me." Angel managed between sobs.
Willow drew away slightly in shock. "Buffy? Why? She made it clear to us that she was going to stand by you." Her hand reached up as if of it's own volition to wipe the tears from his face.
"It's my fault. She left because I couldn't stop loving her. If I could have, she wouldn't have left."
"Angel, it's not your fault. She loves you too." Willow stroked his hair, trying to calm him.
Angel, suddenly filled with anger, broke way from her and began to pace the room. "She knows that I need her. I'm still weak. I can't deal with the nightmares and the space outs by myself."
Willow watched him frightened. Not for herself but for the tortured vampire before her. She waited silently until he finally sank back onto the bed exhausted. She glanced at her clock. 5 a. m. *Okay,* Willow thought. *It's too late for him to head back to the mansion, he could get caught in the sun light. My parents are out of town for the next two weeks, so I can keep him here until then. Get him back on his feet.*
Willow stood and put on her best resolve face. "Angel you're staying here for a while."
"What?" His anger faded away to be replaced with surprise.
"You heard me. Now you need to get some rest. So why don't you lay down?"
Angel looked at her dumbly. Determined she walked up to him. "Stand up." Moving slowly he did as he was told. "Now, lets get your coat off." She helped him remove the long black coat. "Now get into bed and try to sleep while I go pull the blinds down."
Angel stood watching her, until she came over and pushed him down onto the bed. She proceeded to tuck him in as if he were a toddler. That being accomplished she returned to her task of closing the blinds through out the house.
When she was done she returned to her room to find Angel sound asleep. *He looks so tired.* she thought sympathetically. Willow walked over to the bed and brushed his hair out of his eys. *I know things aren't easy between them, but how could Buffy just dump him like that. He's not ready to stand on his own.*
Angel stirred slightly. "Willow?" he whispered a sob in his voice.
"Right here, Angel." she said softly taking his hand. That was how the morning found them and since it was a Saturday, Willow had no intention of moving.
Willow had been sitting, watching Angel for an eternity when the phone rang. She grabbed it quickly, glancing at Angel to make sure he was still asleep.
"Hello?" she answered quietly.
"Hey, Wills!" Buffy's voice came cheerfully over the line. "How would you like to go to the mall?"
"Sorry, Buffy." Willow glanced at the sleeping vampire on her bed. "I can't."
"Well why don't I come over then?" Buffy seemed determined.
Willow began to panic. "Look, uh Buffy. I really need to get some sleep. I was on the net all night." Willow spoke quickly, hoping Buffy would buy it.
Unfortunately, she didn't "Is there something wrong Willow?" Buffy asked worriedly.
"No! Really, I'm just tired." she noticed that Angel was beginning to stir. "Ooh gotta go! Bye."
Angel opened his eyes and sat up slowly. He turned his head and saw Willow standing off to the side, staring at him uncertainly.
Angel regarded her for a moment, afraid to speak. When he did his voice was soft. "Willow? Why are you doing this for me?"
Willow sighed. "Angel, no matter what happened you're still my friend. I can't turn my back on you."
"But, I killed Jenny Calendar, your fish, I almost killed Giles and I hurt Buffy how many times?! How could you stand to look at me?"
"Because, Angelus did those things. Not you." Willow's resolve face was firmly in place.
Angel buried his face in his hands. "Why didn't she just kill me? I've lost everything, Willow. I have nothing left. I've lost my friends, the woman I love . . . everything."
"Not everything. Angel you'll always have me. Now, lay back down and try to get some more rest." Angel lay back down without protest and on a whim, Willow climbed into bed beside him.
Willow awoke several hours later and glanced at her clock. 4 p.m. She shifted and was shocked to find someone laying beside her. A quick glance revealed it to be Angel and Willow remembered the nights events.
Willow sat up slightly, being careful not to disturb Angel. Hesitantly she caressed his cheek.
*What's happening?* she asked herself. She had never been this at ease with a guy before, well except maybe Oz. But her fling with Xander had ruined that.
Willow climbed out of bed, showered and dressed. When Willow returned to the bedroom, she found Angel awake and staring at a picture of her, Buffy, Oz, Cordy, and Xander at the park. His eyes were filled with such pain and longing that her heart ached for him. She couldn't bare to see him so unhappy.
"Angel?"
"Hmmm?" he murmured in response, never taking his eyes off the picture. Willow went to him, and gently pried it from his hands.
Setting it back on the dresser she said, "A lot has changed since you left, Angel."
"And it's all my fault." Angel's voice was filled with self loathing.
"No! Angel, you can't blame yourself for everything that has gone wrong. Actually most of it had nothing to do with you. Oz and Cordy don't hang around with us anymore. And it's my fault. Mine and Xander's. Oz and Cordy walked in during that Spike thing, and caught us kissing. Cordy tried to run, but she fell through the steps and almost got killed. And it's my fault. We have so much in common, Angel. We've both lost the ones we love the most."
A single tear slid down her cheek. His hand shaking, Angel wiped it away. "Willow, you couldn't have known, it's not your fault."
She looked up into his dark eyes. "The same thing could be said about you, Angel."
"It is my fault. I should have know." The agony in Angel's voice could be seen reflected in his eyes.
"It is not. You deserve to be happy, Angel."
"But I can't, Willow! I can never be happy or I'll become Angelus again. Having to live with this pain, it's worse than being in Hell, Willow."
Willow took his hand. "Talk to me, Angel. We'll get through this somehow. Together. I promise, I won't leave you. You can always count on me. Tell me about Hell."
"Do you really want to know?" His voice was hoarse with emotion.
"If it'll help you, which I think it will, then yes.
"It was worse than I'd ever imagined. It's fire and this unbearable heat. There were all those screams, coming from places that I couldn't see. I saw each of my victims, and I saw them over, and over, and over, again. And I was tortured." he swallowed trying to contain his emotions. "Every day, the demon would come. Let me show you something, Willow. Maybe then you'll understand." Angel removed his shirt and waited for her eyes to drift down to his stomach. There in his side was a huge gash, that had been made by a demon's claws. It still hadn't healed, it was read and inflamed and angry. Angel noticed her curious gaze. "You're wondering why it still hasn't healed. Poison. If I wasn't immortal it would have killed me when I returned. And this was nothing, Willow" Angel closed his eyes and again heard his own cries of agony and heard the crack of the whip and felt it strike his skin over and over. He began to shudder uncontrollably and he gasped for breath.
Willow, seeing his distress, called his name. It was like he had been transported somewhere else. Willow tried shaking him, still nothing could reach him. "Sorry about this, Angel." Willow slapped him across the face as hard as she could.
The fact that it knocked him down was a testament to his weakness. But it was affective. His eyes opened and he looked at her stunned. "Willow? What happened?"
"You went away for a minute there. Are you okay now?"
Angel nodded. "Yeah."
"Do these spells happen a lot?' Will asked concerned. Angel was not only fighting his demon, but fighting for his sanity as well.
"Yeah it can last for hours. I don't know what to do. That's why I came to you, Willow. The others wouldn't even talk to me, and Buffy . . . well she made it clear that she wanted no part of this. What do I do?"
"Well," Willow walked over to the window and cautiously peeked through the blinds. "it's sunset. And you've got to be hungry. Where do you go to get blood?"
"Willies."
"Well, lets go." Willow pulled on her shoes, and headed for the door. Angel grabbed her arm as he passed her.
"You'd go with me?" There was hope in his voice. *Dear God, could she be this good to me?*
"Of course. I can't let you go alone. You're weak, and you might space out again. Besides, I'm sure you could use the company."
Angel and Willow walked quietly through Sunnydale. Angel was tense and constantly scanned their surroundings as if wary of an attack.
Willow struggled for something to say. Anything to break this awkward silence.
"Angel?" Willow asked uncertainly, "How long have you been . . . um, back?"
Angel thought for a moment. "I got out right after school started I think. I'm not sure exactly. I wasn't exactly with it when I first returned."
"What were those first few days like?" Willow leaned against him and absently Angel put his arm around her waist.
"It's kind of vague. I went on instinct more than actual thought. I don't remember much of anything until I killed that monster in the back of the school."
Willow looked at him wide eyed. "*You* killed him?"
"Yeah, I came in and he was about to kill Buffy. But everything is so fuzzy. Willow," Angel paused and drew a shaky breath, "Hell is more terrible than you could imagine. I wasn't much more than a wild animal when I got out."
Willow looked away guiltily. "It's my fault, Angel. If I had restored your soul the first time, Buffy wouldn't have had to send you to Hell."
Angel stopped abruptly and turned Willow towards him. "You restored my soul? Nobody told me."
"Please, don't be mad. I know it's my fault and -" She was cut off when Angel swept her into a hug, lifting her off the ground.
When Angel finally released her, he knelt in front of her and took her chin firmly in his hand. "Willow don't be sorry, I owe you my life."
"But-"
"No buts. I owe you everything. Period. End of sentence. Thank you so much," he whispered gently.
Willow hesitated a moment, then smiled glad that he wasn't angry with her. "You're very welcome, Angel."
Angel stood and again Willow leaned against him. They walked in comfortable silence to Willie's.
When they returned to Willow's, Angel fed and they both climbed into bed, and fell asleep in each other's arms. Willow rose quietly when the sun did and booted up her computer. She didn't know what was happening between them, but she cared too much to let him suffer for eternity. Willow knew what she had to do . . . find a way to anchor Angel's soul permanently.
Willow worked quickly and quietly, contacting all of her best sources, and surfing the net for information.
Finally after several hours she hit pay dirt. Her most trusted contact had c ome through. *Oh God, this is it.* she thought as she read the spell. She glanced at Angel. She would just go ahead and do it while he slept. *I can't tell him about it, he would never let me do it. He'd be too afraid that I'd get hurt.* She scrolled down and found that the spell was simple and that she had the necessary ingredients already in her possession . *This can't be this easy,* she thought. *Oh and it isn't. I have to get him to drink the potion and the chant the spell. How am I gonna get him to drink it?*
Willow decided that she would cross the bridge when she got there. She prepared the potion and moved to stand beside the bed. Angel's sleep was restless. The poor thing was having nightmares no doubt. *Maybe if I wake him up, he'll be confused enough to drink it without a fuss.* Willow shook him gently and Angel sat bolt upright his eyes wide with terror.
His eyes focused on her. "Willow? Where am I? What's going on?"
"Sshhh. Drink this and everything will be all right. Trust me."
Angel hesitated and then drained the entire glass. Almost immediately, he collapsed back into bed, sound asleep.
Willow brushed his hair from his eyes and picked up the print out of the spell.
Spirits of the interregnum, grant my request.
Anchor his soul, never to leave again, allow him to rest
Eternal life and love and hate
Never to flee through heavens gate
Lest the time shall come to die
Grant it through your holy wine.
Willow watched as an unearthly glow surround Angel, he tensed for a moment as his body shivered convulsively, and then lay still.
*Okay, now all I have to do is wait for him to wake up and hope that he's not mad at me* It turned out to be a long wait.
The sun had set by the time that Angel began to wake. Willow wanted to touch him, reassure him, but kept her distance, fearing that he would be angry.
Angel opened his eyes and somehow he knew. He knew what she had done. He wasn't angry but afraid. Angel glanced nervously around the room and relaxed when he saw Willow standing nervously by the computer. "Willow?" He tried to standup, but he was hit with a wave of dizziness and nearly collapsed.
Willow was at his side in an instant. She pushed him back down on the bed. "Careful, Angel. It'll take a few minutes for things to clear up."
"Willow! Are you crazy? You could have gotten hurt!" Angel grabbed her arms and forced her to look him in the eye.
"It would have been worth it. But I'm fine, Angel. And now you can be happy, your soul belongs to you forever."
Angel couldn't believe the depth of the gratitude he felt. He knew he should scold her for her recklessness, and for not telling him of what she was doing, but he was too damn happy. "Why Willow?"
Willow took a deep breath. "Angel, I don't know what's happening. But I care about you. A lot. A-and I can't stand to see you unhappy."
"Oh, Willow." Angel sighed and pulled her down so that he could embrace her. When Willow straightened her eyes were drawn to his , and then to his lips. She gazed at him, his soft lips beckoning her. Slowly she leaned down and kissed him.
Angel pulled her on top of him and returned the kiss passionately. He didn't understand it, the only thing he knew was that it felt right.
Outside, Buffy knocked on the door and was worried when no one answered. They hadn't heard from Willow all weekend. Buffy decided to enter when she saw the lights on upstairs. She climbed the stairs to Willow's room and peeked in the door. What she saw, hit her like a ton of bricks. Angel and Willow were kissing, on Willow's bed.
"Oh, God."
Willow and Angel sprang apart to see Buffy standing there, tears streaming down her face.. "Buffy!"
"Willow, how could you? How could you do this to me?"
'Buffy, look let me explain I -"
"Shut up! You've been planning this all along you little whore , haven't you? You botched the spell to restore his soul on purpose, I bet you're the one that brought him out of Hell. So you could have him!" Buffy eyes glittered with hatred.
Willow was crushed by her friend's harsh words. Angel saw the single tear fall from her eyes and he had had enough.
"Listen to me, Buffy, and listen good. You left me. Remember?"
"Because we can't be together, cause you can't be happy. That's another thing, how could you take this kind of risk, Willow?"
Willow attempted to regain her composure. "It's not a risk Buffy. Because I-"
"Could never make Angel happy? I knew that one already."
Angel was furious. "She's already made me happy, Buffy. She's anchored my soul permantely. You never even thought to try. You took the easy way out. You abandoned me when I needed you the most. Now, you can think what you want, but I won't let you talk to Willow this way. Get out of this house."
"Fine, I'll leave. But this isn't over, Willow." Buffy turned and stormed out of the house.
Willow stood and tried to absorb everything. She knew that her relationship with Angel would cause problems, but it was just beginning to dawn on her how big those problems would be.
Angel placed his hands on her shoulders. "Willow? Are you okay?"
"No," she whispered, "I'm not."
"Come here." Angel took Willow in his arms and held her tightly.
They had been standing like that for a while when Willow looked up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pull him to her for a kiss. Angel pulled her closer and kissed her tenderly. Hesitantly, he broke away.
"Are you sure you want to do this? I don't understand what's happened between us. Are you willing to risk their friendship for me?"
Willow looked at her feet and thought carefully for a moment. Her answer startled her. *It is worth it to me. I don't understand what's happening between us either. But I want to try and make it work whether they like it or not.* "Yes, I'm sure. Surer than I've ever been in my life."
Angel turned away suddenly. "I want to try too. But I'm not ready to rush into things. Not after everything that happened."
"I don't want to rush either. But I feel connected to you, and being with you feels right."
Willow held out her small hand and Angel took it in his large one. They looked deep into each others eyes and smiled.
They were interuppted when there was a loud knock on the front door. "Hold on, Angel. Let me see who it is."
Willow climbed down the steps and opened the door. Xander pushed past her into the house. "Where is he?" Xander almost growled. When Willow finally managed to get a good look at him she was horrified to see a crossbow in his hands.
"Oh, God! Xander! What are you doing?" Willow unconciously placed herself between the steps and Xander.
"I saw Buffy. I'm gonna keep you from making the bieggest mistake of your life. I'm gonna kill him." Pure hatred and contempt glittered in his eyes.
"No, if you hurt him Xander Harris, I'll never speak to you again." She was interrupted by a series of loud crashes from upstairs.
"Looks like Buffy's doing the job for me." Xander pushed past Willow.
Willow looked wildly about her and grabbed a large vase and smashed it overXander's hard head when he brushed past her. She flew frantically upstairs and into her bedroom..
Buffy stood with her crossbow aimed directly at Angel's heart. Willow say Buffy's grip on the trigger tighten and dove through the air to push Angel out of the way. The arrow lodged itself in Angel's chest just inches from his heart. When Willow heard Angel's agonized gasp, something in her snapped. She lunged at Buffy and atttacked her, knocking the slayer on her ass. Willow frantically grabbed the crossbow and sprang away from Buffy.
Willow and Buffy stood unmoving with Willow aiming the crossbow firmly at Buffy's heart. "You come near him again, Buffy and I swear to God that I'll kill you. Now go get Xander and get the hell out of my house, you bitch." Though Willow's words were harsh, her voice held an icy calm that forced Buffy to obey. When they were out of the house, Willow locked all the doors and raced back to Angel.
Angel lay on Willow's floor in a pool of his own blood, barely concious. "Oh God. Angel? Can you hear me? What do I need to do?"
Angel took a deep breath and forced himself to focus on Willow's voice. "I-I need . . .you . . .call."
"What's the number, Angel? Come on, just stay with me!" Willow clamped her hands over his wound, staunching the flow of blood.
"The . . .number . . . 589-8798. You . . . call . . .please . . ."
"Sshh. I'll call the number. Who am I calling?" Willow needed a little more than a phone number.
"Whistler . . . he'll know."
*Whistler. Buffy talked about him. I hope he's ncer than what she says.* Willow stretched for the phone, keeping one hand over Angel's wound. She dialed the number and was relieved when somene with a Brooklyn accent answered. "Whistler here. What can I do for you."
"Uh . . . look this is Willow Rosenburg, and I'm here with Angel." Her voice broke and she began crying hysterically. "He's hurt. I don't know what to do. He's bleeding a lot. He said you would help. Please, I don't want to loose him!"
"Okay, listen. First you've got to calm down. I'm on my way, but I'm going to keep talking to you on the cell. How much blood has he lost?"
"How do you know where I live?"
"I know these things. We don't have time to discuss that now. How much blood has he lost?"
"A lot. It's everywhere." Willow choked on another sob.
"Is he still concious?" Whistlers voice was authorative and reassuring.
"Barely." Willow's fear could be heard in her voice.
"Okay, listen you've got to stop the bleeding." "I'm trying, but it won't stop."
"Get a cloth and press it over the wound."
"Okay." Willow grabbed a t-shirt from a nearby chair and applied it to the wound.
The bleeding slowed slightly but soon the shirt was soaked with Angel's blood.
Willow sobbed quietly. *I can't loose him now. I just found him.*
She sobbed in relief when a short man in clashing clothes forced the door to her balcony open and walked into the bed room, a cell phone at his ear.
When Whistler saw Angel's poor condition, he dropped the phone and knelt at Angel's side. He carefully pulled aside Angel's shirt. Whistler swore violently. "Who did this?"
"Buffy." Willow choked on the name.
"Whistler?" Angel forced his eyes opened to look at the demon beside him.
"Easy, Angel. Conserve your strength.
Angel closed his eyes and lapsed into unconciousness.
"Damn girl," Whistler cursed, "she missed his heart by less than half an inch. Okay, he needs blood."
"Blood? But how . . . I could . . . but . . ."
"No buts, if he doesn't get blood Angel dies."
"Okay, he can have mine." Willow eyes widened when Whistler pulled out a sharp knife.
Willow held out her wrist and closed her eyes.
"Sorry 'bout this kid, I'll make it quick." He made a shallow gash and Willow gasped in pain. Whistler gently guided her wrist to Angel's mouth and pressed the bloody cut against it. After a moment Angel opened his mouth and sank his fangs into her soft skin.
Willow couldn't surpress a moan of pleasure as Angel fed from her. She couldn't believe how good it felt. It was the most erotic thing she had ever experienced.
Slowly Angel's bleeding stopped, but he remained unconcious. Willow reached out with her free hand and stroked Angel's hair. "Angel, you have to stop now."
Amazingly, Angel seemed to hear her and released her wrist and lay still.
Whistler watched in awe as Willow calmed Angel's unconcious hunger with a tamer's touch. He shook himself out of his stupor, he could be amazed later. "Okay, now, we gotta get him out of here."
Willow looked at him surprised. "Why? You don't think . . .?"
Whistler stared at her calmly.
Willow paled. "You're right she would, or Faith."
"That's right and she'll be back soon. Do you know anyone who has a van? We need a place where Angel can sleep and be safe from the sun."
"Oz, but I don't know if he'd come. We broke up recently."
"You've got to get him here. Now."
Willow stood and few to the phone. She dialed Oz's number and paced about the room. On the fourth ring Oz answered.
"Yello."
"Oz? It's me, Willow. Look I-"
"We have nothing to talk about, Will."
Willow snapped. "LISTEN TO ME! I need your help. Angel is here, and he's hurt. Buffy almost killed him. Please she'll be back , I need your van to move him. Please, Oz." Willow was again choked by anguished and frightened sobs
Oz never could stand for Willow to cry. "Okay, calm down. I'm on my way." With a click he hung up.
"He's on his way. What do we do now?"
"We need to bandage this wound. Get me the first aide kit and while I'm doing that, get blankets and a pillow for Angel."
"Got it." Willow flew to the bathroom, and returned with a well stocked first aid kit. After handing that to Whistler, she retrieved the blankets from the closet and grabbed her pillows. She grabbed her gym bag and threw a few days worth of clothes in.
"What are you doing?" Whistler wanted to know? "I'm going with you. I am *not* abandoning him. Accept it and move on." Oz's arrival prevented any further argument. Willow ran downstairs and opened the door. She pulled Oz inside and locked the door. "Come on, Angel and Whistler are upstairs."
"Who's Whistler?" Oz asked following her.
"I don't know, but that's who Angel had me call for help."
Oz stopped short at the sight of all the blood on Willow's floor. "Who did this?"
"Buffy did it."
"Why? Why would Buffy hurt Angel? I thought she loved him."
"She uh, saw him, um with me, and were were, uh kissing."
Oz digested that in silence. *I've moved on. She has a right to too. I'm just glad that it's not Xander. The prick.*
"Okay, what do you need me to do?"
Whistler took charge. "Okay first, Willow, go make a place in the back of the van for Angel. Oz, I need your help moving Angel downstairs."
Willow ran outside to the van and Oz helped Whistler lift Angel and carry him down the steps and to the van. No sooner than they had loaded Angel inside and Willow climbed in with him, did they see Buffy, Xander and Faith coming down the street towards them.
"Get this van moving now!" Whistler pushed Oz toward the van door and climbed inside. Oz jumped in and they sped off. Whistler looked back just in time to see an arrow bounce
off the back of the van.5/22/99 Willow took Angel's hand and brushed his hair from his eyes. *Oh, God. We just got out of there in time. I could have lost him!* Willow blinked back tears, and concentrated on remaining calm. She couldn't let herself fall apart. She had to take care of Angel.
Whistler turned around in the front sleep. "How is he, Willow?"
"He's still unconcious. Where are we going?"
"My place. He'll be safe there." Whistler turned back around and directed Oz to his house.
Oz pulled to a stop and parked the van. "Okay what now?"
"We get Angel inside." Whistler and Oz pulled Angel from the van and Willow followed fretfully, scolding the two men for jostling Angel too much. Whistler and Oz carried Angel to a large room with heavy blinds over the windows. "Set him down on the bed."
Once Angel was settled under the covers Willow shooed the men out of the room and turned her attention to Angel. She gently removed his bloody shirt and retrieved a wash cloth and basin. She washed the blood from his hands and chest and covered him up to his chin with the blanket. Willow placed a hand on his forehead and frowned when she discovered that it was hot.
*Okay, Angel's hot. He's a vamp. Vamps are supposed to be cold. What do I do? A ha!*
"WHISTLER!!!!!!!!"
Whistler ran into the room. "What?!"
"He's got a fever! Vampires don't get fevers! Do something!" Willow tapped her foot and crosses her arms in front of her chest..
"There's nothing I can do. He just needs to rest."
Willow sat down next to Angel and kissed his forehead. "He didn't deserve this. He's suffered enough." She climbed into bed next to him and drapped her arm around his waist.
Whislter looked sympathetically at the unconcious vampire. "You're right, he didn't." Unable to say anything else Whistler turned and left.
*********
Angel whimpered softly and opened his eyes. He found himself lying on a bed and Willow lying next to him, watching him carefully. "Willow?" His voice was hoarse and weak.
"Sshh. It'll be okay."
"I'm so hot." Angel tried to struggle free from the confining covers. Willow sat up and mercifully pulled the sheet back.
"It's okay, Angel." Willow took a damp cloth and bathed his face and neck with cool soothing water.
"Willow, what's happening?" Angel surveyed the room around him. "Where am I?"
"You're at Whistler's, Angel."
"Whistler?" Angel was confused.
"Yes, don't you remember?"
"Buffy, she . . ." Angel trailed off, prefering not to think about it. He still loved her and her betrayal hurt.
"Angel, don't worry about it right now. You need to rest." Willow caressed his cheek and he closed his eyes in contentment. "We'll get through this. They won't hurt you, I won't let them."
"Neither will I, Angel." Whistler walked into the room carrying a cup full of blood. Whistler handed it to Willow. "Get him to drink this."
Willow held the cup to Angel's lips but he stubbornly refused to drink. "No. I don't want anymore blood. I've had it."
"Angel, come on. You need it to get your strength back."
"I won't Willow. I drank from you. What were you thinking?! You could have been hurt!" Angel's eyes were full of self hatred and anger that she would risk herself.
Willow's temper flared. Tears began to fall from her eyes and she began to speak. "I was thinking that I didn't want you to die. That I couldn't stand to loose you. That I love you!" Willow stopped abruptly as she realized what she had just said.
Angel cradled her cheek in his hand. "Oh, Willow. I love you too. I just don't want you to get hurt because of me. I couldn't stand to loose you either."
Whistler stood uncomfortable and forgotten. *I'll let Willow handle him.* Whistler tipped toed out of the room.
"Please, Angel. Drink it for me. Please?"
Angel hesitated clearly torn. Willow leaned down and kissed him gently and it was his undoing. She pressed the cups to his lips again and this time he drank obediently. Willow slipped a hand under his head to help him sit up, making it easier for him to drink.
When Angel was finished his eyelids began to droop drowsily, Willow kissed his cheek, and lowered his head back to the pillow. "Sleep, Angel. I'll still be here when you wake. Rest. Regain your strength."
Angel snuggled into the covers again and Willow once again lay beside him. He wrapped his arms around her and pillowed his head on her chest. Angel drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
When Angel opened his eyes, Willow was still there, except this time Oz was there with her. He studied the boy for a moment. Unable to come up with a explaination he turned his gaze back to Willow. "What's going on?"
"Oz, helped up save you, Angel. We used his van to bring you here."
"But why? Buffy . . . Faith, they . . ." Angel trailed off and closed his eyes against the pain of the betrayal.
"I helped you cause Willow asked me to. She's explained everything to me, Angel. Buffy is just wrong. She left you. Now she has to deal with it." Oz couldn't help feeling sorry for the vampire. Oz knew that the things Angelus had done hadn't been Angel's fault. Just like he couldn't control the wolf, Angel couldn't control his alter ego.
Angel shook his head and sat up. "But now you're both gonna be in trouble with them. You've chosen me over them. At least that's how they'll see it."
"I don't care." Willow's voice was firm. "I won't let you be hurt anymore."
Whistler walked into the room. "Could you please exuse us? Angel and I need to talk."
Willow hesitated, not wanting to let Angel out of her sight for even a moment. Whistler smiled reassuringly, "He'll still be here when you get back, Willow. Go on."
Willow stood and followed Oz out of the room.
"How ya feelin', Angel?"
"Better. I'm fine."
Whistler studied him for a moment. "Don't try to lie to me, Angel. You've lost your soul, reverted to Angelus, gotten your soul back just in time to be sent to Hell, and now you've pretty much lost everything you had built for yourself. You're not fine."
Angel shrugged. "It wouldn't do me much good to complain." Angel looked up at the Whistler. "Did you know about the curse?"
Whistler shook his head sadly. "No, I didn't."
"It was a shock. I felt it happening, you know. It was painful." Angel's tone was even and emotionless. "I woke up and there was this terrible pain. I ran outside, and I called to Buffy, but she couldn't hear me. I tried to hold on for her, but it was too strong. I couldn't do it."
Whistler simply stood there and let Angel talk. It had been a long time since he had seen Angel so emotionally locked up. It had been a long fight to get him strong the first time. This time would be harder and a lot longer. *I can't abandon him now. I owe the kid.*
Willow listened just outside the door, and Oz stood just behind her. *Poor Angel,* Willow thought. *to know what was happening and not being able to stop it. Why won't fate just leave him alone?*
"So, what do you wanna do kid?" Whistler forced his voice to be firm. "Spend eternity feeling sorry for yourself. Go back to the way things were before I found you?"
"I should. I've hurt too many people, Whistler. I've killed friends, and hurt those I loved. I'm a monster and I deserve to be alone."
Willow huffed and stormed into the room. "How DARE you say that about yourself, Angel! Angelus did those things! Not you! You are not a monster, and you deserve to be loved, and happy!" Willow turned to glare angrily at Whistler. "And YOU! You couldn't have waited to give him the 'Are you gonna be somebody or a failure' speech? Talk about picking on the walking wounded! Out."
"What?" Whistler was stunned. This girl had more fire than the Slayer.
"Out. Out, out, out, out, OUT!" Willow pushed Whistler out the door.
Oz looked at the startled demon and merely chuckled. "Never make Willow mad."
Willow glared balefully at the door for a moment, then turned her attention back to the wounded vampire. Willow studied him for a moment. "Angel, what is it gonna take for you to realize that what happened wasn't your fault?"
"But it WAS my fault. I killed Jenny! I KILLED HER DAMMIT!! Why don't you understand that, Willow? She was trying to help me and I killed her!" Spent, Angel sank weakly back against the pillows.
Willow walked slowly up to the bed. "You're wrong, Angel. Have you, while in possession of your soul, ever killed an innocent person?"
Angel shook his head, opening his mouth to protest, but all that came out was a strangled, "No."
"Could you, Angel?" Willow sat on the bed next to him, and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. She bared her neck to him. "If you're such a monster, Angel, drain me. Take me now."
"Willow! Please, what are you doing?" Angel stared at the girl, horrified.
"Do it, Angel. If you're a murderer, then kill me." Willow placed a hand on the back of his head and drew his face into her neck. "Drink."
"I can't." Angel's voice broke with a sob.
Willow gently straightened. "You can't. Just think about that for a while, Angel. You couldn't kill me. You didn't want to. You couldn't." Willow kiss Angel's forehead and withdrew from the room.
Angel watched as Willow walked slowly from the room. His thoughts raced wildly. *Maybe she's right. Maybe I need to let go of the guilt.* Angel snorted. *Last time I did that though, it cost me my soul. It's my place to suffer.* Unable to sit still, Angel slowly sat up and swung his legs to the floor. Going to a dresser he found a shirt for himself and pulled it on.
Opening a window Angel climbed down the tree into the cool night air.
*********
Buffy, Faith and Xander walked through Sunnydale hoping to find some trace of Angel.
"Do you really think he'd her hurt?" Faith was confused. She had thought Angel was supposed to be good, but now Buffy and Xander had changed the story.
"He's gone nuts, Faith. He'll hurt her. Don't ask questions, just stake him on sight."
"Okay B, if it's the bad."
"Hey!" Xander pointed up the dark street. "There he is!"
Buffy motioned for the to duck into the shadows. She gripped her stake, waiting for the vampire to come closer.
Xander smiled. He was finally going to get to kill Dead Boy. His death was long over due.
************
Angel stopped short. Something wasn't right. He could feel that he was in danger. Spooked Angel turned to head back to Whistlers. As he turned a crossbow bolt whizzed by him. Dodging and rolling Angel came to his feet and ran down the street.
************
"Damn! I miss him!" Xander levelled the crossbow but Faith snatched it from his hands.
"You'll never hit him from here, at least not in the heart we got to slow him down." Taking careful aim, Faith placed a crossbow bolt in the back of Angel's leg.
*************
Angel fell to the ground as a pain lanced through his right leg. Forcing himself back to his feet, Angel turned to see Xander, Faith and Buffy running towards him. *Oh boy. I can't let them kill me. Willow would never let me hear the end of it.* Angel turned and again ran towards the house.
Angel kicked in the front door slamming it behind him.
"Angel!" Willow jumped from the chair startled.
"Buffy, Faith and Xander are headed this way." Angel leaned against the door panting.
Willow saw the blood that flowed from his leg and his newly reopened wound. "Oz, get him away from the door. Stand behind me."
"Willow," Oz started to object fearing for her safety but Willow interrupted.
"Just do it!" Willow faced off at the door, her eyes glowing with her anger. The powers she had been developing since casting Angel's cure the first time seethed in her finger tips.
The door burst open revealing three very ticked off teenagers who stopped short at the sight of a very angry Willow.
Faith was puzzled. "She doesn't look like she's in danger."
Willow ignored the girl, enraged beyond reason. "I've had it with you three! I won't let you hurt him."
Buffy leveled the crossbow. "Move you little whore. He's going to die."
Willow's fragile hold on her temper snapped and she began to chant a spell that Amy had taught her. "Goddess Hecate, work thy will. Before thee let the unclean things crawl!" Willow pointed her fingers at the trio and withing moments they were reduced to literal vermin.
Oz raised an eyebrow and admired Willow's work. "Uh, Willow, you turned them into rats."
"No, they were already rats, I just made them look like it physically. Catch them and put them in a plastic container or something. I don't have time for them right now." Willow turned to see Angel leaning painfully against the wall. She ran to his side, slipping an arm around his waist and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders gratefully. "Oh, Angel. I'm so sorry. What happened?!"
She helped Angel lower himself onto the couch and then to lay down. Angel opened his mouth to answer but Whistler ran into the room.
"Angel! Willow, what happened, why are there rodents in my house!" Whistler noted the pile of clothing on the floor. "What did you do, Willow?"
"They deserved it!" Willow stormed out of the room in search of a first aide kit.
Whistler turned to the more level headed werewolf. "What happened?" Oz dumped the last of the three rats, the biggest one which happened to be Xander, into the box. "Well, these aren't exactly rats, they're Buffy, Xander and Faith. They, uh tried to kill Angel, so Willow turned them into what they really are."
Willow walked briskly back into the room seeming somewhat calmer. "Here, Angel," she said helping him to sit up, "I need to get your shirt off, and uh your pants so that I can fix up those wounds"
Angel looked embarrassed. "Really, Willow, it's not necessary -"
"Angel, strip or I'll do it for ya." Willow's resolve face was firmly in place.
Angel hesitated and slowly began to slip out of his clothes.
Willow caught her breath as she watched Angel undress *Oh wow, what I wouldn't give . . .BAD WILLOW!!* Willow forced her mind to the delicous task at hand.
Angel grimaced in pain as he removed his pants. *This is embarrassing, I'm being rescued by a teenager.*
*Wow. Black silk boxers. Yum. OH, BAD WILLOW!" Willow blushed and moved forward with the First Aide Kit. Willow knelt beside the couch to inspect Angel's wounds. The chest wound had opened back up again, and was bleeding profusely. The leg bled quite a bit as well but seemed less threatening. "Oz, go get some blood for Angel, he'll need it to get his strength back."
"Willow, really, I'm fine." Angel winced as she poured disinfectant over the wound.
"Angel, shut up. I'm already mad at you for going out when you're hurt." Willow wrapped fresh gauze around his wound and repeated the process on his leg. "Well, if you dont get shot again you should be just fine in a few days."
"Here ya go, Angel." Oz handed the bottle of blood to Angel and then turned to Willow. "So, uh, Will, you kinda turned both Slayers into rats. We can't just leave them like that."
"I know." Willow sighed in defeat but her eyes narrowed angrily. "But, call Giles and get him over here, I won't change them back until he's here to control them."
"Sure, Willow." Oz picked up the phone and dialed Giles' number. "Hey, Giles, it's Oz. I'm good, but there's a problem." There was a pause. "See, Buffy, Xander and Faith tried to kill Angel and Willow kinda turned them into rats." Oz held the phone away from his ears as Giles could be heard screaming from where Angel sat on the couch. "Look, she won't change them back to you get here." After another pause Oz gave Giles the directions and hung up the phone.
Willow smiled. "I guess I'd better go find the counter spell."
"You mean you don't know it already?" Oz could help but smile at her mischievous expression.
"I just never cast these spells before on people. I'd like to leave them as they are. They deserve it." She turned around to see Angel reaching for his clothes. "Hold on, Angel, I'll get you some clean clothes. She took the bloody ones from him and headed upstairs.
Whistler sat in chair watching. *This red head is pretty fiesty. She'd be perfect for Angel. Course, her calling the Watcher complicates my life some but , hey, what are ya gonna do?*
Willow came down the steps carrying a new shirt and pants for Angel. "Here, Angel." she said handing him the clothes. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine, Willow, really." Angel smiled to reassure her and she couldn't help but smile back. He could still see the concern shining in her eyes and he beckoned her over to him. He pulled himself into a sitting position and pulled her down onto the couch next to him.
Angel took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. "Willow. I'm fine. They didn't cause any permanent damage. You don't have to worry about me, Willow."
"I can't help it. I just found you and I've almost lost you two times already." She reached out a hand to caress his face. A single tear slipped down her face. "Don't scare me like that again, Okay?"
"Oh, Willow. Angel pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. "I'm sorry. I just needed to get out and to think."
"I understand. Really, I do. It's just that it's not safe while your weak."
"I promise, Willow, I won't do that again. I didn't mean to scare you." Angel brushed an errant strand of hair from her tear streaked face. "Please don't cry."
Willow nodded and hugged him, careful of his wounds. "I love you, Angel."
Angel kissed her forehead. "I love you too, Willow."
Whistler sat watching the exchange silently. He knew as he watched them that they were soul mates and that Willow would become Angel's rock. *The Slayer wasn't good for Angel because she leaned on him, and then he didn't have something to hold him up. But with this red head it'll go both ways.* He glanced at the box where the rats were being kept. *Hmmm. I wonder what she's gonna do with them once the Watcher gets here."
"Well, kid, what are you gonna do when the Watcher gets here?"
Willow looked at him surprised that he had been silent for so long. "I'll turn them back, Giles will make them leave and keep them from ever doing it again."
"Sure. Do you think that they'll listen?"
Willow frowned. "If not, I'll just turn them into rats again."
***************
Giles knocked loudly on the door. "Willow, open this door this instant." Giles heard shuffling and then a timid but angry looking Willow appeared at the doorway. "Dear God Willow, what's going on?"
Willow motioned for him to enter and settled herself on the couch next to Angel. "Well see, Buffy, Xander and Faith, decided that Angel was a threat to me and deserved to die. They never asked me but just acted out of jealousy using "concern for my safety" as an excuse. They came after Angel, so I turned them into rats."
Giles frowned at the box. It seemed that he had a lot of yelling to do later. "Willow, they were wrong, but you can't leave them like that." Giles glanced at Angel. "What are you doing with Angel anyway, Willow?"
Willow took a deep breath and Angel squeezed her hand in support. "Angel came to me for help, Giles. But things have just happened and now we're a couple."
"YOU'RE WHAT!!!" Giles expressed his shock and disbelief in volume.
Willow swallowed but calmy faced The Watcher down. "We've decided to date, Giles."
"Willow!" Giles glanced at Angel and lowered his voice. "I'd like to speak with you privately."
"No. Whatever you have to say you can say in front of Angel."
Angel placed a hand on her arm. "Little One, you might not like what he's going to say, but you should at least listen."
Willow nodded and led Giles across the room.. "Yes, Giles?"
Giles pounced immediately. "Are you crazy, girl? He's a killer. He tried to kill you, he tortured me, and he killed Jenny. He's a monster and I forbid you to have anything to do with him!"
Willow shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry, Giles, but your wrong. Angel didn't do those things. Angelus did. Angel would have stopped it if he could. You're going to have to let go of the hate. I'm going to continue to see Angel whether you approve or not"
Giles grabbed her by the arms and shook her. "You foolish girl! Doesn't loyalty mean anything to you?"
Angel moved to throttle the life out of Giles, but Whistler, who had been standing quietly motioned for him to be still. He'd handle. Moving forward quickly Whistler had pushed Giles away and returned Willow to Angel's side faster than the human eye could follow.
When Willow reoriented herself she smiled in admiration. This was the first time that she had seen any hint of Whistler's power. *I wonder what he can really do.* she wondered vaguely as she felt Angel's protective hand on her shoulder steadying her.
Whistler faced of with Giles. "Listen, Watcher, Willow is an intelligent young woman and more than capable of making her own decisions. She's right about Angel. And your three haven't exactly shown good judgement either. The Slayer is acting out of jealousy. She nearly killed Angel and she came to finish the job. Now, Willow is going to change them back and then all four of you are going to leave. Got it?"
Giles was going to argue, but the slight glow to Whistler's eyes silenced his objections. He nodded in reluctant agreement and turned to Willow. "Willow, I do not in any way support your actions. When you can to your senses however, you can still call me friend. I won't turn my back on you, but don't ask me to be happy about this."
Willow nodded and turned away as her eyes filled with tears. "I'll get the book to reverse the spell."
CHAPTER 11
Willow stood before the box where the rats were stored and her eyes were closed as she steadied herself for the spell. She took a deep breath and began.
"Diana! Hecate! I hereby license thee to depart! Goddess of creatures great and small, I conjure thee to withdraw!"
There was a impressive display of lights and sparkles and soon Faith, Xander and Buffy were standing before her naked. Willow looked at Xander and wrinkled her nose. "Wow, Xand, did it shrink in the shower this morning?" Willow calmly turned and sat next to Angel on the couch.
Whistler motioned to the corner. "There's your clothes, get dressed and get out."
The trio moved and got dressed. Before Buffy left she turned back to Willow and Angel.
"This isn't over. This is far from over." She stormed out, followed closely by Xander.
Faith however paused and looked back repentantly. "Look, I'm sorry. They didn't tell me the whole score, and they lied to me. I for one won't be bothering you again."
Willow smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Faith."
Faith nodded and let herself be herded out by Giles.
Willow sat for a moment and watched the door her life had walked out of. Angel pulled her into his arms and she leaned into his embrace.
"Are you okay, Little One?" Angel stroked her hair, admiring the fiery cascade.
"Yeah. I'm just having a hard time adjusting to all that's changed." Willow pulled away. "You should rest lets get you back upstairs. I don't think Buffy will be back tonight."
Angel nodded and allowed her to place her arm around his waist and lead him upstairs. When they reached his room he turned to the hacker. "Willow, don't lie to me. Your whole life just walked out that door. You can't be okay. You've just lost two of your best friends and your mentor. I know it hurts."
Willow looked into his eyes. "Yes, it hurts, Angel. It hurts so much that I wanna die." Her eyes grew bright with tears and slowly they began to run down her face. "But I still have you and Oz. That's all I need. I'll be okay. I don't think that I've lost Giles totally, or Xander either. He's just worried about me. I just don't know if I'll be able to forgive him for this any time soon."
"I'm so sorry, Willow. This is my fault. If I hadn't come to you . . ."
"I would never have known that I could feel love like this. I'm not sorry that you came to me, Angel. I never will be." Willow shut the door and they stood looking at each other.
Angel caressed her face. He cradle her chin in his hands and then his lips were on hers. She deepened the kiss and her fingers went to his shirt and slowly she began to unbutton it.
"Willow?" Angel questioned.
"This is what I want. I think this is what you want too." She pushed his shirt from his shoulders and ran her hand gently over his chest.
Angel answered her by pulling her against him and running his hands underneather her shirt caressing her. He undressed her and carried her to the bed.
The next few hours were filled with the sounds of flesh upon flesh and moans of pleasure. When the love making ended Willow slept wrapped in Angel's arms.
CHAPTER 12
When Willow woke the next morning she was still safely held in Angel's arms. She turned carefully to admire the still sleeping vampire's peaceful face as he slept.
*He looks like such an Angel. So peaceful. The pain and regret and guilt just disappear. I love him so much.*
Slowly becoming aware of someone watching him, Angel opened his eyes to find Willow smiling at him. Her smile could have illuminated the Earth.. "Good morning, Beautiful." Angel said kissing her on the forehead..
"Hey." *Smooth, Willow.* she thought. *You just screwed the guy and all you could come up with is 'hey'*
"I love you, Angel." Willow smiled. *Ah. Much better.*
"I love you too, Little One." Angel smoothed her hair away from her face. "I hope you realize just how much."
"I do. But where do we go from here? We can't keep running from Buffy and Xander forever."
"Sshh. Not now. Not here. For this moment, Buffy and Xander do not exist. Yes, we'll have to deal with them soon, but not today." Angel began to climb out of bed. He took her hand pulling her up with him. "Lets go take a shower."
*****************
"Buffy, what you did was reprehensible." Giles glared sternly at the group of teenagers before him. "Not only did you manipulate Faith into helping you, you almost killed out of jealousy. And you Xander, you let hatred blind you."
"But Giles, he's a vampire! Look what he did as Angelus!" Buffy dredged up the only counter argument that she could think of.
"Shut up. When he was in love with you, he was a good, kind man. And you said more than once that he was not responsible for Angelus' actions. You and Xander get out of my sight this instant. Faith, I would like to speak to you for a moment."
Buffy and Xander slunk from the room with their tails between their legs. Faith remained gazing at Giles curiously.
"What do you want, G?"
"First, don't call me that. Second, tomorrow I want you to go to where Angel and Willow are staying, and offer our deepest apologies. I would go myself, but I'll have to keep an eye on Buffy and Xander. When they get this pig headed, they're hard to get through to."
"Sure. Is there anything else?" Faith said turning to go.
"Yes, one more thing. When you see them, tell them that I would like to speak to them here at their earliest convience."
"Sure. Later, G."
Giles sighed in exasperation. "Don't . . . ah nevermind."
Faith took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A man with terrible fashions sense and clashing clothes answered.
"Faith. Is there something I can do for you?" He managed to keep most of the sarcasm out of his voice.
"Uh . . . it's Whistler right?" The demon nodded and Faith continued. "Look, I'm really sorry about what happened last night, but Giles wanted me to deliver a message to Angel and Willow. Can I come in?"
Whistler nodded and stepped to the side allowing Faith to enter. Angel and Willow were sitting on the couch cuddling. Willow's eyes narrowed when she saw Faith.
"Hello, Faith. What are you doing here?" Willow could not quite keep the hostility from her voice. Deceived or not, Faith had still tried to kill Angel.
"Hey, Willow. Hi, Angel. Um . . . Giles wanted me to ask you if you would both come see him as soon as you can. He wants to talk to you about something."
"Did he say what?" Angel asked, hesitant to returned to the library where he might run into a homicidal Buffy and Xander. He didn't care about himself, but he didn't want Willow to be caught in the crossfire.
"No. But it sounded important."
Willow was on her feet in an instant. "Trouble?"
"I don't think so. I don't know. He just told me to get my butt over here. I didn't ask, he wasn't in the best of moods."
Whistler pulled on his coat. "Come on kiddies. That's right, I'm going too." He looked at Faith. "Is the loud mouth kid and the Slayer gonna be there tonight?"
"No, at least not for a while. Xander said something about a test and Buffy's patrolling."
Angel groaned and climbed to his feet. "Lets go then."
Willow looked at him worriedly. "Angel, take it easy. You're still weak remember."
Angel smiled. "I'm okay, Willow. I'll be back to a hundred percent in a few days." He walked up to her and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "It certainly didn't slow me down last night did it?"
Willow blushed and looked around frantically. Faith simply gazed at them curiously, but Whistler was smiling and had resolutely fixed his gaze on the carpet. *Pesky demon!* Willow thought. Realizing that Angel stood hovered near her she smiled and whispered back, "Not one bit."
**************
Whistler followed Faith into the library, taking a glance around to make sure that Angel wasn't gonna get staked. "Come on in, Angel."
Giles, hearing the noise, rose to his feet and came out of his office. "Willow. Angel. I'm glad you came. I wasn't expecting your friend, Whistler if I am correct?"
"That's what I go by nowadays. So what did you want, Mr. Giles?"
Giles motioned to the table. "Why don't you have a seat?"
Whistler sat down, while Angel held a chair out for Willow. After seeing her seated, Angel slowly lowered himself down into the seat next to her, grimicing slightly in pain.
Willow saw his pain and laid a hand on his shoulder. Reaching up he squeezed her fingers gently.
"I'm okay, sweetheart." Angel smiled to reassure her.
Giles cleared his throat. "I wish to apologize for that, Angel. What Buffy and Xander did was reprehensible. Faith has the excuse of being lied to. They have none."
"It's not your fault, Giles. They were . . ."
Angel was interrupted when Buffy and Xander stormed into the library. "Giles," Buffy began, "we need to-" She stopped short when she saw Willow, Angel and the Whistler sitting at the table. "What are they doing her?!" Buffy drew a stake from the sleeve of her jacked and began to slowly approach Angel.
Giles rose to his feet. "Buffy, as your Watcher I am ordereing you to drop that stake."
"He deserves to die. He killed Ms Calendar, and lord knows how many other people. He tortured you , Giles. Now he's after Willow. He hasn't suffered enough and now he's after her. I won't let him have her."
Willow rose to her feet angrily and placed herself directly in front of the Slayer. "Don't you mean that you won't let me have him? That's what this about, isn't it, Buffy? You couldn't have him, so you decided no one else could."
Buffy grabbed Willow by the arm and threw her out of the way. Willow collided with a book shelf and laid on the floor stunned.
Angel went game face and launched himself at Buffy. He collided with her snarling, knocking the stake from her hand. "DON'T YOU TOUCH HER!!!!!" Angel hauled Buffy to her feet and began to pound the living shit out of her. "This isn't her fault!!!" Angel banged her head into the wall.
Xander grabbed the stake and moved forward to help Buffy. Giles grabbed him and held him back. He knew that Angel wouldn't kill and this needed to be dealt with now.
Whistler looked to Giles. "I'll stop him if you want me to. But I think this is what they both need."
Giles nodded and they watched the confrontation continue.
Buffy kicked Angel in the stomach knocking him away from her. "How could you betray me with Willow?"
"You abandoned me!" He punched her in the face, seized by rage. He slammed her back into the wall stunning her. Unnoticed on the floor, Willow began to wake and stared in awe at the two former lovers.
"You left me when I needed you the most! And Willow was there. She took care of me, she invited me into her home . . . she nevered denied me. And how can you say that I haven't suffered enough? I WAS IN HELL DAMMIT!!! I endured centuries of torture because *you* sent me to Hell. How about your betrayal, Buffy? You sent me to an unimaginable fate. I was tortured every second of every day! I heard my screams and the screams of my victims. I saw my family, I saw them die by my hands, over and over. It never stopped not for one moment. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't faint, there was no reprieve, no escape. And you sent me there. I never once held it against you. If you would have used your head, you would have known that I didn't have to go to Hell. You could have closed the vortex simply by cutting my hand. But no. Maybe I'm being unfair, you had lost a friend, Willow was hurt and so was Giles, and then your mother threw you out. But I've suffered more than any of you could ever imagine."
Silence fell upon the room and tears streamed down both Buffy's and Angel's faces. Willow sobbed quietly and climbed to her feet.
Angel slowly released Buffy and back away. Willow shuffled forward and reached out to touch his arm. Angel pulled away and walked quietly out the library door. Giles moved to go after him but Whistler place a hand on his shoulder.
"Give the kid some time. He won't go anywhere. Angel just needs to clear his head. He's suffered more than any of us will ever know." His gaze hardened and he stared and Buffy and Xander in turn. "You tend to forget that for as much as you've suffered, it can never compare to what he's been through. You've lost friends and so has he. He's lost your love and trust. His world collapsed and he did things that he'll never forgive himself for. He hates himself enough. He doesn't need your hatred added to it."
Buffy sank to to floor sobbing quietly and Xander hung his head in shame. Willow moved quietly to the door and peeked through the window. She was relieved when she saw Angel sitting against the wall not ten feet away .
His tears continued to flow unchecked.
Willow looked to Whistler. "What do I do?"
Whistler stared thoughtfully at the red headed girl. "Go sit with him, Willow. If he wants to talk, just listen to what he has to say. If he doesn't just be there for him."
Willow wiped her own tears from her face. It wouldn't do for Angel to see her like that. She had to be the strong one right now. That meant regaining her composure. Willow took a deep breath and turned towards the door.
Slipping silently through the door, Willow stood silently for a moment considering the vampire that she loved. In his eyes she could see the fires of hell, and the ghost of every person to die by his hands. It didn't matter that it hadn't been him, that he hadn't been able to stop it. He had to live with the memory of the things that Angelus had done. He couldn't forget, and might never be able to forgive himself.
*I wish I could stop him from hurting. He doesn't deserve any of this.* Willow shuffled across the hall to slide down the wall beside him.
Angel was aware of her presence, but didn't acknowledge her, he seemed frozen, his soul throbbing with agony. He didn't even feel the tears that continually leaked from his eyes.
His silence scared Willow. She placed a hand on his arm but still go no response. Gently taking his chin in her hands she turned him to face her. Willow spoke the only words she could think of. "I love you."
Angel blinked. Even through his deep misery, her words warmed his heart, and eased the chill of his soul. "I love you too."
Willow embraced him, holding him tightly, whispering inconherent words into his ear. She rocked him, like a mother with her child. Angel sobbed quietly into her shoulder, finally allowing himself to release the despair within his soul.
****************
Back in the library, Giles was dealing with a very distraught Buffy.
"Oh my God, Giles what have I done? I tried to kill him! I hurt my best friend!" Buffy's tears flowed freely. Angel's words had broken through her jealousy, and she realized what she had done. "What do I do, Giles? How do I fix it?"
"Do you still love him?" Giles voice was sympathetic. He knew how hard this would be for her.
Buffy nodded. "Yes."
"Then you've got to let him go." Giles silenced her protests with an upraised hand. "I know it's painful, but if you love him, you've got to let him go. Don't you want him to be happy?"
"Of course I do."
"Could you ever really forget what has happened? Could either of you really ever forget? No. You can't be totally happy together. You need to move on. He's found Willow. You'll find someone too."
"It doesn't matter, Giles. No matter what, I've already lost him."
*******************
As Angel's soft sobbing continued Willow stroked his hair, trying desperately to calm him. Finally after taking a few deep breaths, Angel pulled away slightly. He sat gasping trying to recover from the emotional shock.
Willow lovingly wiped the tears from his face and smiled reassuringly. "Do you feel better?"
Angel looked up at her puzzled, but the confusion soon turned to shock. He *did* feel better. Only about ten percent better, but it was stil an improvement. Angel nodded and kiss her gently on the lips. When they separated, they sat in comfortable silence, simply sitting there next to each other.
Angel heard the soft creak of the door and looked up to find Whistler standing in the hallway with them.
Whistler spoke and his voice was uncustomarily soft and gentle. "What are you gonna do now, Angel?
Willow glared angrily at the demon. How *dare* he harrass Angel about this now. She wrapped her arms around him protecively, her body language clearly stating her possession of the vampire.
Angel took her hand in his and squeezed it gently, grateful for her sport. Angel climbed to his feet, and then helped Willow up. She held his hand tightly, refusing to let go even for a moment. Angel smiled at her and then turned to Whistler. "I don't know, Whistler. Why don't you tell me? There's got to be a reason for you being here."
Whistler smiled suddenly. "Good, Angel. You're right, I'm here for a couple reasons. One, you 're a good kid, and I wanted to help you. I owed you something for everything that happened. Second, well . . . lets just say the powers that be have decided that you're going to be a very important figure in the future of this world. I need to get you back on your feet and ready to face whatever comes next. You've started to face it, Angel. Tonight was the first step. But ya still got a long way to go."
Angel sighed. "What do you want me to do, Whistler?"
Whislter stared at him sternly. "First thing you have to do is make your peace with the Slayer. Then I want you to spend some time away."
"Oh, no. I'm not going anywhere. Not without Willow." Angel shook his head and pulled Willow even closer to him.
Willow stared, shocked at the vehemance in both Angel's voice and in his eyes. Then he smiled indulgently and perhaps a little smugly. "Then it works out great then. They want Willow to go with you. She has the power to become one of the most powerful Wicca in the world. She needs to be trained. She's graduating soon so she can leave once she's done. They've offered to train her at whatever college she chooses. But mostly because she's the only one who can get through your stubborness."
Angel took a deep breath. Then he turned to Willow. Taking her hands in his, he leaned down to kiss her forehead. "What do you want, Willow?"
Willow's eyes filled with tears. "To be with you forever."
Angel kissed her tenderly and turned back to Whistler. "When do we start?"
The Slayerettes and friends stood together at the airport, bidding farewell to Angel and Willow. Despite everything that had happened, even Cordelia and Oz showed up to say good bye.
Buffy came forward sobbing openly and embraced both Willow and Angel. It had taken time, but she had come to accept their relationship and was happy for them. Willow and Angel had in turn forgiven Buffy for her actions. "Remember to call when your plane lands."
"We promise." Tears leaked from beneath Willow's eyes. "But it won't be long. I'll be back for the holidays. And there's always the internet."
Buffy nodded and moved back so that Xander could hug his childhood friend. "You'll knock those Harvard people dead, Wills."
"Thank you, Xander. Just remember to write me, okay?" Willow sobbed on his shoulder.
Xander hugged her tightly. "Everyday." Xander turned to Angel. "Take care of her, Dead Boy." There was no mockery in his voice, but a respect born of compromises on the part of both sides.
"I promise, Harris." Angel shook his hand.
Their time was up far too soon and the final call for their fight came over the intercom.
Whistler came forward from the shadows. "We've gotta catch this flight if we're gonna get to the hotel before sunrise."
With a final round of hugs Angel took Willow's hand and slowly they walked off into their new future. They only hoped that they would not be away from those that they loved for too long. They had to have faith that they would be together again soon.
The End