AUTHOR: Susie: susanne@zoom.co.uk
DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me. *sigh* Joss the King of all things we love does!! The Bogeyman belongs to all the people out there that believe and then some that don’t! *grin*
DISTRIBUTION: My Site, I am Evil! Hear me Roar! http://evilroaring.cjb.net The G4G site Mysteries Untold, BK can have it for HatBH. Anyone else just ask me k?
SPOILERS: Umm, well, none really this is taking place in my own little universe ok!! But in general I would say season 4 Buffy and one Angel ok? Don’t hold me to that though!!
RATING: PG (this part)
PAIRING: Willow/Angel
DEDICATION: To Dainah for the great feedback and help….I really do appreciate
it! To Dru for all her help with this part, she let me bounce ideas off
her and gave me advice. To Tairis, who didn’t help as much as I wanted…yeah
I know where your mind was… *g*, but you were still there for me!
Pampering: # 3 The Brightest Star
"No please God no." Willow flung her hands up in front of her face and shrunk back. "Please leave me alone, you’re…you’re not real"
"I am as real as you want me to be little girl."
"No, no this isn’t happening. Go away. Leave me." Tears streamed down her face. "I do not believe, I do not believe, I do *not* believe." Willow began to softly chat to herself. A hand took hold of her arm and she screamed yanking it away. "NO GO AWAY!"
"Willow, please, are you ok?"
Willow jerked her eyes open gasping or breath as she took in the quiet motel room and the concerned face of Angel leaning over her. "Angel? What?"
"You were dreaming. Are you ok?"
"Dreaming? Oh God Angel it was so real." The tears began to fall down her face for real now as she cradled her head in her arms. She felt Angel’s hand rest on her back and knew deep down that it would be ok, but still she couldn’t shake the feeling that… "The Bogeyman was after me Angel."
"What?" Angel smiled slightly as he ran his hand up and down her back trying to soothe her.
"I know what you’re going to say so don’t." She snapped as she pushed her chair back and stood
"What was I going to say?"
"That there is no such thing. That it is all in my imagination, well let me tell you something, we *know* it is real cos Buffy and Giles are stuck trying to find a way to kill it while all I do here is sit and be useless." She flung herself on to the bed and began to cry again.
"Willow, I wasn’t going to say that at all." Silently Angel went to the bed and sat next to her, his hand once again on her back gently rubbing it. "I was going to say that I would never let anyone hurt you so you have no reason to be afraid." He smiled down at her as she looked up and blinked at him through her tears.
"I just wish I could be more help to them." She sighed as she put her head back down resting on her folded arms and closed her eyes enjoying the feel of Angel's hand on her back.
"Willow, you’re doing everything you can. They understand that. We all do." Willow didn’t answer just sniffled and peered at him through teary eyes. "When was the last time you went out Willow?"
"What?" Willow pushed herself up and looked at him pushing strands of her red hair out of her eyes.
"Out, you know outside, away from this dingy little room?"
"I have too much to do Angel I can’t go off gallivanting."
"No I know that, but you need fresh air, you are human. You need to rejuvenate and relax."
"I need to stay focused is what I need Angel, and then maybe, just maybe I can help Buffy."
"Come on." Angel stood taking a hold of her hand as he stood and pulled her up.
"What? Angel what are you doing?" She tried to pull away but failed.
"You’re going out. You and me and the stars." He smiled at her as he let go of her hand and handed her her jacket. Standing in the open doorway he waited for her to leave."
"But-."
"But nothing Willow. Trust me ok? Now come on." He reached over and took her and one more time and pulled her through the doorway pulling the door closed behind him.
………………………..
The chilly night air washed over Willow as she pulled her coat closer to her. Small puff of cold air escaped her mouth as she breathed. Looking sideways at Angel she was fascinated that no air escaped his mouth, - even though she knew he didn’t breath she still found it intriguing. The night was quiet; not many people were around, at least not in the park where they were walking in companionable silence. Digging her hands further in her pockets to keep the chill off her. Willow trudged along, not really caring where they were going, only thinking that she should be back at the motel researching, being there in case Buffy called and needed some new information, not that she had anything new, but she still felt that she should be there.
"Do you want to sit?"
Willow stopped and looked behind her realising that Angel has stopped walking and was looking at a park bench and then her. "Sure, if you want." She shrugged as she walked back to him and sat down next to him.
"Why do you do it?"
"What?" Willow looked at Angel as he stared off into the night.
"Worry as much as you do?"
"You’re one to talk mister king of brood." She threw back as she looked out into the night also, trying to see what he saw, to understand him, to know him better.
"You know why I do it, Cordelia says I would be lost if I couldn’t brood. But you, you’re different, you don’t have anything to make up for, so why?" He turned and looked at her.
"Why not? I mean, there is evil in this world that not everyone is aware of, or wants to be aware of, I can help, I can make a difference, make the world safer for people, innocent people."
"Or you could of stayed one of those innocent people and lived a normal life."
"A normal life where my best friend is a slayer and vampires are at large." She turned and looked at him smiling slightly. "I can’t stay innocent and ignorant my whole life, I would of found out eventually, this way I got the help of the slayer in dealing with everything." Angel smiled back at her.
"You have some weird logic."
"But you know it makes sense." Willow laughed slightly as she turned back to stare into the night. Silence fell between them again. Willow sat listening to the wind whistle through the trees and the sound of the leaves rustling on the ground. "You know it’s quite peaceful here isn’t it?" She broke the silence but didn’t turn her eyes back to Angel.
"It can be. When there’s not a demon on the loose running though the park yes." He smiled at her causing her to look at him.
"I mean this is LA you wouldn’t think that there could be a beauty spot like this but there is. Ok not the safest place to sit by yourself demons or not, but it’s still nice." She looked into his eyes as he stared back at her; his brown eyes seemed to be dancing in the moonlight.
"So you don’t hate me?"
"What? Angel I could never hate you." Willow moved back a little to look at him. How could he think that she hated him? He was her friend, and in some cases her saviour how could she hate him?
"For dragging you out and away from your research. I know how dedicated you are to it and to helping Buffy and Giles, but sometimes you just need a break and need to relax is all."
"Oh that." Willow smiled and moved back closer to him. "Angel I don’t hate you. I hate myself for not being able to find anything to help them with. I mean everything I read tells me that the Bogeyman is only a myth, a legend, but we know that Buffy and Giles have seen it and that it is real. How can you kill something that according to the world – demon and human – doesn’t exist?"
"I wish I knew Willow, I really do." Angel touched her arm slightly to try and soothe her; to get back the happy and relaxed look on her face that had been there a moment ago. "Hey look at that." He moved his head slightly and pointed his chin to the sky.
"The stars?" She followed his eyes to see which star he was looking at but couldn’t tell. She looked back to him and saw that he was smiling. "What? What is it?"
"Well you see." He moved closer to her, his hand still resting lightly on her arm. "Look." He was right next to her and he directed her eyes back to the sky. "See that star there?"
"Which one Angel, there are lots."
"I know." He chuckled slightly. "But that one." He pointed with his finger. "It’s the brightest, can you see it?"
"No, they are all pretty bright. I need more."
Still chuckling slightly Angel moved closer and moved his arm around her shoulders. "There. Ok look at that group of stars?" Willow followed his finger to the sky and saw a cluster of stars. She nodded. "Ok, well you see, they all have names."
"You know all the names of the stars?" Willow looked at him and realised how close he was as she nearly bumped noses with him. Angel looked down at her and smiled.
"Only the special ones. Here look." He looked back up to the stars and smiled. He pointed in turn to the stars as he began to speak. "That one there is Buffy -,"
"Angel I don’t -,"
"Shhh. That one there is Xander. And that is Giles, and Spike, and then there is Cordy and then, that one right there is me." He smiled as she looked down at her and saw that she was staring at the stars with a new fascination. "But then you know what?"
"What? Some other star is gonna come in and be an evil demon?" She smiled as she briefly turned her head to look at him.
Laughing Angel squeezed her shoulders slightly and kept looking at the stars. "No. You are precious Willow." He pointed his finger at the stars again. "You see the one star in the middle, that they are all surrounding, protecting and looking to for strength?" Willow nodded as she finally saw the brightest star. "Well, that is you. That is Willow. You hold us all together, you mean more to us that simply someone who researches, you are the core, the brightest star." He smiled as he looked down on her.
"Angel that -,"
"Shhh. It’s true." His smile broadened. "Deal with it." Willow let out a small giggle.
"It’s very sweet of you Angel, but I mean, shouldn’t Buffy, or you be in the middle? You two are the strongest, the warriors."
"But don’t you see Willow? You are the strongest. You make us what we are. Without you we probably would be where we are today, have done what we’ve done, because you were always there to help us, to provide us with the necessary demon knowledge, to offer a shoulder to cry on, to offer a smile, a kind word, even to some one like me, who at times didn’t deserve them."
Willow’s eyes shot back to Angel. "Angel don’t say that. I know that it wasn’t you it was Angelus, you deserve all the kindness that I give you, I won’t punish you for something you had no control over. Besides that was a very long time ago now."
"See you’re still doing it. You may have forgotten it, but I haven’t. It was because of your forgiveness and acceptance again that I was able to move on and go back to helping people again." He pulled her closer and squeezed her shoulders again as he looked up into the newly named stars and smiled. They sat in silence again enjoying each others company and reflecting on what had been said.
End Fic #3