Fear.  A fascinating emotion because it seduces and repels.  For
Angelus it had been love at first sight.  The dawning look in the
gravedigger's eyes once he had realized that what he had come upon were
no ordinary grave robbers.  That had been his first.  His most
rewarding, he had thought at the time, had been his father.  Such an
angry fear.  Anger at dying.  Anger at his lost son.  Anger at being
afraid of them both.

Then there had been Buffy.  Poor, tormented Buffy.  He had so looked
forward to tasting her fear, but had never gotten the chance, not as
himself anyway.  The Soul that called itself Angel had prevented him
from fully enjoying the experience.  He had actually stopped drinking
and had saved the Slayer's pathetic life.

The faint sound of the elevator starting up and rising toward the
renovated penthouse apartment of the Hyperion caught his attention and
pulled him from his memories.  The Soul had been busy since Angelus'
forced imprisonment.  He had himself a small, but thriving,
evil-fighting investigation business, an elegantly beautiful place to
live - definitely an improvement over his earlier predisposition to
doom and gloom accommodations - and, even better, the Slayer was
history and the Witch was in his bed.  The bewitching Willow had rich,
sweet blood, but Angel didn't let him enjoy that either.  He actually
felt guilty about taking it.  Stupid fool.  She offered it more than
willingly.

The sound of the elevator stopped.  Footsteps made their way down the
hall and the penthouse door opened.  Willow stepped into the darkened
apartment.  Her hair was pulled back in a bouncy ponytail and she was
dressed casually in black jeans and a white t-shirt.  He liked her
better in leather.  "Hi, Angel," she greeted him.  She set her grocery
bag on the counter in the small kitchen area and began unloading it.
She hummed softly to herself.  So trusting.  So innocent.  So very his.

Something was wrong.  Willow has known it from the moment she stepped
into the home she shared with Angel.  He rarely sat in the dark
anymore.  He usually turned to her now, not the darkness.  Not quite
sure what was going on, Willow struggled for normalcy.  She moved
around the small kitchen space, unpacking her groceries.  She hummed a
mindless tune.  She could feel his eyes on her and it was a strange
sensation.  Not that Angel hadn't watched her doing daily chores
before, but this time it was different.  He was staring at her, trying
to make her nervous.  Make her afraid.  Angelus.

"Hello, Willow."  His lips brushed her ear.  He had come up behind her
without her noticing.  Definitely Angelus.  Angel would never play a
game like this, it hit too close to home.  His arm closed around her
waist and he pulled her against him.  It reminded her of the first time
she had met him.  Right down to the erection pressing against her back.
That had scared her senseless back then, but this time it was having a
very different effect.  "I missed you."

There was no use pretending that she thought he was Angel.  "How did it
happen?  Angel's soul is permanent."

"I don't know what happened.  I don't care."  Angelus slipped his hand
down the waistband of her jeans and gathered up the material of her
t-shirt until he touched bare skin.  Willow sucked in her breath.
"But since I am here, why don't we have some fun with it?"  His voice
was rich, dark silk.  It made her shiver.

Willow felt a twinge of guilt.  She wanted him.  Technically, she
wouldn't be cheating on Angel.  It was his body.  But it wasn't him.
It was wrong.  Angelus lifted her t-shirt out of her pants, his hand
traveling up her stomach to cup her breast.  He rolled her nipple in
his fingers through the peach satin of her bra.  His other hand
caressed the small of her back, tickling the base of her spine.  The
two sensations coalesced to a tingling in her stomach and spread
down to a warm wetness between her legs.  Willow groaned.  This was so
very, very wrong.

Of their own volition, Willow's hands reached back and clasped his
hard thighs.  She arched back against him and moaned, "Angel."

The sharp pain of Angelus pinching her nipple brought Willow out of
her lust induced haze.  "No," he growled, "I am not him."  He nipped
her shoulder with his fangs to make his point and spun her around so
she was facing him.  He was right, he wasn't Angel.  Angel's eyes had
never looked at her so coldly.  A frisson of fear tightened around her
heart.  He could do anything to her.  He could kill her.

Fear.  Angelus could see it in Willow's eyes.  He could smell it,
mixed in with her previous arousal.  This wasn't surprising him, it
was the reaction he wanted.  Nothing turned him on more than a woman
who wanted him and was afraid of him at the same time.  But now that he
had it, Angelus realized that it wasn't what he wanted from Willow.
It wouldn't satisfy him.  He wanted what The Soul got from her.
Unrestrained fire and uninhibited passion.  He wanted her to love him.

This new development didn't shock Angelus as some who thought they
knew him would have expected.  He had always had a thing for Willow.
Sweet and intoxicatingly innocent as a girl, she had been exactly his
type.  That`s why Angel had done everything in his power to keep his
contact with her to a minimum in the beginning and had lost himself in
delusions of love with the Slayer.  To spite.  To keep him from what
they both wanted.  Now it was his turn.  Willow was going to want him.
She was going to love him.  She was going to be his and there was
nothing The Soul could do about it.

Angelus gentled his grip on Willow's arms.  Blood stained the torn top
of the sleeve of her t-shirt where he had bitten her.  Willow tensed,
but she allowed him to remove the soiled garment.  With tender sweeps
of his tongue, Angelus cleaned her wound.  He smiled against her skin.
She was still afraid of him, but it wasn't fear that made Willow
tremble and she didn't flinch from his touch.  He brought his head up
and looked her in the eye once again.  "I won't kill you and I won't
hurt you."  He flashed her a wicked grin and continued on in a low,
sexy tone, "Unless you ask.  Of course, I can't promise not to bite,
Saileach."

Angelus leaned in for a nuzzle at her neck, but Willow stopped him.
"Don't call me that.  I won't call you Angel and you don't call me
that."  She looked at him with the expression her pesky little friends
use to refer to as her "resolve face."

Good.  She didn't want to pretend he was Angel.  Seducing Willow was
going to be easier than he thought.  Angelus nodded his ascent to her
conditions.  Before she could get too comfortable with his compliance,
he tugged viciously at her ponytail.  "But this has got to go.  Take
your hair down."

Disobedience was out of the question.  Willow found herself caught by
the glow in dark chocolate eyes.  Eyes that were unsettlingly familiar.
Her hands lifted up and pulled the black scrunchie that held her hair
back out.  She gave her head a slight shake as the hair tumbled down
and it brushed lightly at her shoulder blades.  Angelus reached out and
ran his hand lightly over her hair.  Willow`s heart started to pound
and her mouth went dry.  It`s not Angel! her mind screamed, but her
body didn't`t seem to care.  Angelus caught a thick strand of hair and
coiled it around his hand.  Slowly, he increased the tension, pulling
it tighter and using it to tug her forward.

Without a word, Angelus backed up toward the bedroom, leading Willow
with his impromptu leash.  She wanted to kiss him.  As Angelus reached
behind himself to open the bedroom door, Willow pushed him up against
it.  She pulled his head down to meet her lips.  Her bold move must
have caught him off guard because it took Angelus half a second before
he returned her kiss with a ferocity she wasn't used to.  His tongue
invaded her mouth, plundering and claiming every inch of it.  Willow
tried to keep up, meeting his thrusts with equal fervor, but soon her
disadvantage caught up with her.  She needed to breathe.

Unlike Angel when he got carried away by their enthusiasm for each
other, Angelus ignored Willow's attempts to break away and catch her
breath.  Instead he pressed on, taking the kiss deeper, pulling her
closer.  Devouring her.  Willow started to panic.  Frantically, she
pushed at his shoulders, but he held her tighter.  As her hands
flailed at him and her knees buckled, one of her hands inadvertently
caught the doorknob of the door.  She turned it.  The loss of the
door's support, caused Angelus to stumble back into the bedroom and
broke his hold on her.

At first Willow was too concerned with getting air into her lungs, so
that her head would stop spinning, to notice her surroundings, but
gradually the romantic atmosphere permeated her consciousness.  Candles
flickered from every available surface as soft, barely discernable
music played in the background.  Single red roses in delicate crystal
vases littered the room.  On the bed, where her head had lain countless
times while she and Angel had talked quietly after making love, was an
orchard.  The Firebird.  A rarity of its species, the dark red flower
practically glowed on its black silken resting place.

"I'm afraid I can't take the credit for this."  The sound of Angelus'
voice reminded her that she wasn't alone and she wasn't with Angel.
She had known before he had said it that Angel had done this.  He had
prepared this with the expectation of making love to her only to
somehow lose his soul.  And what had she done?  Taken the first
opportunity to jump the demon with her lover's face.  As guilt leached
into her heart, Angelus stepped in front of her and spanned her waist
with his hands.  "But I'll be more than happy to take the reward."

Willow evaded his touch as much as he would allow and glared at him
accusingly.  "I couldn't breathe."

"I'm sorry." The words were empty.  His eyes held more amusement than
apology.

"No, you're not.  You did it deliberately."

"You needed to be taught a lesson."  He started to play with her hair
again.  He seemed mesmerized by it.  Angel had once told her that her
hair allowed him a glimpse of the fiery sunlight that was forbidden to
him.  It obviously had the same effect on Angelus.  "I am in control.
Always."

That was enough.  It was time someone taught him a lesson.  "We don't
always get what we want."  With a good, hard shove, Willow pushed
Angelus down onto the edge of the bed.  She straddled his lap and gave
him a brief kiss on the lips, mindful of not getting trapped again.
She undid the buttons of his shirt, kissing and licking newly exposed
flesh.  She didn't want him anymore.  He was just a smug, arrogant
bastard who cared only about himself and his pleasure.  He wasn't her
Angel.  She would show him that he was resistible.  And then she would
find some way to return her love's soul to him.

It had happened again.  Willow had ambushed him, not that he minded
wildcats in bed, it's just that he had plans for her.  Maybe he could
adjust those plans, let her think she was taking him for a ride and
then turn the tables.  Angelus kept his hands lightly grasping her
waist and just enjoyed the feeling of Willow's mouth on his chest, the
lazy grinding of her pelvis against his.  And then it was gone.  She
stood up and walked away from him.

"You were right.  You're not Angel."  Her voice was cold and she
didn't even bother to turn and look at him.  She was rejecting him.
No one rejected him.

Before Willow could reach the door, Angelus grabbed her and threw her
down onto the bed.  He pinned her small frame beneath his heavier body.
His hand hovered over her throat.  He could make her beg for life.  He
could make her beg for his touch.  But he couldn't bring himself to
bruise her lovely white skin.  Something stopped him.  Instead his
fingers trailed a caress down her throat.  The fear was back.  The
fear that he had once loved as others loved a lover.  Now he hated it.
She would always be afraid of him.

"Fine.  I promised I wouldn't hurt you and I won't."  Angelus released
her.  He could see the confusion in her eyes as she sat up.  Hell, he
was confused.  This wasn't like the other times he had lost his soul.
Then he had reveled in fear and violence, but now, even though he
still had the compulsion, he couldn't act on it.  He certainly wasn't
his only evil self, this reminded him of something else, but he
couldn't quite place it.

"You are Angel."  Willow touched his cheek.  He started to protest,
but her finger covered his lips.  "Yes, you are.  Your soul didn't
leave you, it just doesn't have control."  She placed her lips softly
upon his and then retreated.  "What do you feel?" she whispered.

"I love you."  Angelus, the demon, had never spoken those words before,
except as a cruel game.  They felt right, not alien or revolting.  He
knew Willow was right.  As soon as she said that his soul was still
with him, he remembered another time when the demon had control, but
the soul was still present.  The time that actress had drugged him.
He hadn't loved her enough for the soul to stop him from trying to
hurt her.  But it wasn't just the soul that was stopping him this time
either.  Angelus, the demon, loved Willow as well, but did she love
the demon?

Willow smiled at him.  "I love you too."  She understood what was
happening now.  Angel wasn't lost to her and this wasn't the Angelus
who had tormented and tried to kill them all those years ago.  He was
the Angelus she loved, the part of Angel he didn't like to show.
"Change for me."

It was a request she had always wanted to ask of Angel, but had been
wary of his reaction.  Angel was so protective of that part of himself,
so afraid to let her see it.  Now he had no choice and it was Willow's
chance to show him that she accepted him.  All of him.  She placed her
hands on either side of his face.  Angelus shifted into his vampire
aspect.  Fear knotted in her stomach and her heart raced, but she
pushed it aside.  His yellow eyes didn't glitter with malice, but were
relatively calm.  She brushed her fingertips over the cruel ridges that
marred his handsome face.

"You're afraid."  He spoke softly, which lessened the harshness of
his voice issuing from his distorted mouth.

"Make love to me."  She kissed him.  Angelus laid her back down onto
the bed.  His mouth moved up her jawline and then down her neck.  He
nipped at her skin, drawing small beads of blood which were quickly
lapped up.  Angel had always restrained himself until passion had
overtook him.  His hunger for her and the loss of control had always
heightened the intensity of her release and now, as foreplay, it
increased her awareness of his touch.  Her bra tore easily in his
strong hands and his fangs sank immediately into the soft mound of her
breast.

Her blood was sweet, heady ambrosia.  It flowed over his tongue and
down his throat.  Willow's fingers constricted in his hair and she bit
his shoulder.  The sharp pain reminded him to back off.  He would taste
her blood again.  And the next time it would be flavored with sated
passion.  He retracted his fangs and shifted back to his human
features.  He kissed down her abdomen, using only his lips and tongue,
while he worked on the button and zipper to her jeans.  Willow moaned
and squirmed underneath him.  He slipped his hand under the waistband
of her panties and edged the material down her hips.  The smooth white
skin covering her hipbone called to him and he nuzzled it, moving
lower to lick at the juncture of her thigh.

"Angel," Willow moaned.  This time he didn't correct her.  She knew
who she was with and so did the Soul.  Now that Willow had made him
aware of it's presence, he could feel the Soul's fear and panic.  Angel
was afraid he would hurt Willow.  He was even more afraid that the
demon would do something that would make Willow hate him.  Angelus
smiled against Willow's sweet smelling skin.  He wasn't going to hurt
her and the Soul was always underestimating her.  There was nothing he
could do to make Willow hate him in either of their incarnations, she
loved him - Soul and Demon.  But the Soul didn't know that or at least
he wouldn't believe it.  Angelus had found new game to play, a new
way to torment the Soul that imprisoned him.  He tugged down Willow's
underwear and jeans until they were discarded on the floor.  Her legs
opened for him and he felt the Soul dreading what would happen next.
Angelus didn't disappoint.  His feature morphed once again and he sank
his fangs into the offered flesh of her inner thigh.

The stinging slice of pain as Angelus' fangs pierced her skin made
Willow gasp, but soon she found herself whimpering as the gentle
suction pulled at her flesh.  Angel had never bitten her in such an
intimate place.  It felt incredible.  And the sensation was compounded
by Angelus' exploring fingers.  They brushed through her wet curls
and parted the warm folds, seeking the nerve center of her sex.

"Please, Angelus, please..." Willow tugged at his hair.  She had called
him by his preferred name this time.  It seemed right.  The sucking
stopped and she felt his tongue sweep across the wound.  Finally, he
heeded her whimpered pleas and his mouth fastened onto her clit.  He
fluttered the tip of his tongue over the swollen organ, sending
shivery waves of ecstacy through her body.  Willow bit her lip as she
felt his fingers delve deep inside her.  Her muscles tightened in
anticipation.  Before her senses could overtake her and she orgasmed,
Willow nudged Angelus' shoulders until he looked up at her.

"Had enough, love?" Angelus moved over her and dropped a kiss onto her
lips.  She could taste her arousal on him.  He spoke the next words
into her mouth.  "Want something different?  I want to be inside you.
I want to feel your muscles grip my cock while we both scream each
others' names."

Willow ran her hands down his side.  She traced delicate circles and
abstract patterns along his waist.  "I want to be on top.  I want to
watch you come under me," she whispered against his lips.  She rubbed
the bulge in his pants.

Without a word, Angelus raised himself up off of her.  Willow sat up
and watched him as he rid himself of his pants and boxers.  She loved
to watch him undress.  She loved every inch of his chiseled body.  Her
fingers ached to touch him.  The rough skin of his jaw tapered down the
textured column of his adams apple and throat, and spread out to the
cool smoothness of his chest.  Impossibly dark brown eyes that sparked
an occasional gleam of yellow watched her as her splayed fingers
encountered a taunt nipple.  Angelus placed a knee on the bed and
leaned into her caressing touch.

This was intense.  Angelus has never voluntarily put himself in this
position before.  The dominated.  He had never given up control before,
not even to Darla.  The only thing that had ever controlled him was the
Soul.  The Soul suffocated him, kept him locked up until he needed him
to take care of some other demon or evil-doer and then he imprisoned
him again.  But Willow's mastery didn't limit him.  Her touch caught
him in an electric web of sensation.  He was powerless and he didn't
care.  He could feel the Soul's confusion.  Angel was wondering why he
wasn't hurting Willow, why she wasn't dead, and what exactly was the
game he was playing.  The warm, wet flick of Willow's tongue on his
responsive nipple jolted Angelus' attention from the Soul.  As her
mouth lapped at his chest, her hand slipped lower.  His cock jumped in
reaction to her thumb brushing its head as her hand moved down to cup
his balls.  She squeezed them gently.

"Harder," Angelus urged her raggedly.  He covered her hand with his
own and applied more pressure.  She was always too gentle when she
touched him.  Even the Soul agreed with him about that, but Angel was
afraid that if he demanded a bit of pain with his pleasure, Willow
would see him as a monster.  He, of course, conveniently forgot about
the first time Willow had attacked him and seduced him on her kitchen
table or the other time before their relationship had gotten sorted
out.  Angel tended to pass those incidents off as a symptom of grief
of blame himself.  He would blame himself for this too.  With his other
hand, Angelus lifted Willow's chin and kissed her roughly, running his
tongue along her teeth and tempting her tongue into his mouth.

It was amazing.  Angelus' hand on hers, showing her how to please him.
Their tongues tangled together.  His other hand crept up the back of
her neck into her hair, massaging her scalp and sending tingles down
her spine.  It was too much.  Her sense were overwhelmed.  She needed
him.  Angelus groaned into her mouth as Willow took initiative and
without the direction of his hand, slowed down the motion of hers, but
still kept her strokes firm.  The groan turned into a growl as Angelus
captured her hands and stilled their movement.  His body pressed onto
her, lowering her towards the bed.

"No."  Willow pulled her lips from his for a moment.  She twisted her
hands from Angelus' grasp and placed them on his shoulders.  "I'm on
top, remember."  She gave him a gentle shove.  Angelus once again
complied with her request, turning them around so that it was he who
laid back onto the bed.

It wasn't the sacrifice Angelus had thought it would be, surrendering
control.  Especially since he wanted Willow on top as well.  He wanted
to watch her use his body to pleasure herself.  He wanted to see what
she would do to get that pleasure.  How far she would go.  Willow
traced her fingernails down the center of his chest, sensitizing his
flesh to her touch.  She leaned across him, her soft breasts brushing
over his body, and plucked a rose from its vase by the bed.  The deep
red petals grazed over his lips and its heavy, yet delicate, floral
scent wafted up his nostrils.  Willow swung her left leg over so she
straddled his hips.  She settled herself back onto his thighs as the
romantic flower kissed her lips.  Angelus clasped her hips as he
watched her eyes drift close and her nostrils flare slightly as she
inhaled.

"You're beautiful."  Willow smiled at his whispered words, but she
didn't open her eyes.  Her fingers fiddled with the stem of the rose
until her pointer finger encountered one of the wickedly sharp thorns.
Incredibly, instead of moving on, Willow pressed her finger down until
the thorn pierced her skin.  Blood welled up immediately.  In an
almost childish gesture, she held up her wounded finger, like he was
supposed to kiss it better.

Angelus took Willow's fingertip into his mouth and ran his tongue over
the sensitive pad, taking only the bool the wound offered and nothing
more.  Willow shifted on top of him and his eyes closed as he felt her
slide down onto his hardened shaft, engulfing him in her wet warmth.
He thrust his hips up and groaned.

Willow's finger left his mouth and he felt the petals of the rose
flutter across his chest.  Delicately, she traced his collarbone.  He
wasn't prepared for the sharp bite of pain just under his nipple.
Angelus' eyes snapped open to find one of the rose's thorns embedded
in his chest.

His eyes were a fusion of brown and gold.  Willow kept her gaze on
them as she pulled the thorn from his chest, gripping his cock with
her vaginal muscles at the same time.  She glanced down.  Blood flowed
from the wound.  It was now or never.  The ultimate acceptance of what
Angel was.  Neither of them would be able to ignore what she was about
to do.  She met his fascinated stare as her mouth descended.

First her tongue flicked out for an experimental taste.  The tangy
copper flavor exploded on her tastebuds and it wasn't as unpleasant as
she had thought it would be.  This was Angel.  Her lover, her love.
Now he was a part of her like she was a part of him.  Angelus growled
hoarsely from underneath her.  His features shifted and he bucked up
into her.  Willow latched onto the cut, drawing the skin and her
lover's blood into her mouth.  She rocked her hips with his thrusts.
Angelus' growls grew louder.  Willow lifted her head, leaving his
bruised flesh.  She wanted to watch him.

Fuck!  She was drinking from him!  The girl he had always thought of as
sweet and innocent was drinking from him!  He could feel the Soul's
confusion.  He was confused too, but couldn't worry about that now.
The slick grip of Willow's internal muscles and the hard sucking of
her mouth on his chest was driving him quickly toward climax.  She
lifted her head, his blood staining her lips.  She quickened their
rhythm as her fingers smoothed over his ridges.  He could feel his
release building inside of him, his growls a constant reverberation in
his chest.  Willow's tongue peeked out and licked a few stray drops of
his blood from the corner of her mouth. Angelus lost it and with a
roar, he spilled his seed inside of her.

He was gorgeous.  His eyes flickered from gold to brown as his features
slipped from vampire to human and back again as he climaxed.  Willow
smiled and leaned down to press a kiss to his lips.  Angelus took the
opportunity to pull her to him and flip them over so she was laying on
her back.  His tongue ravaged her mouth and she felt his hand come
between their bodies and press on her clit.  Willow gasped as heat
inundated her body.  The tension finally broke at the sharp sting of
Angelus' fangs sinking into her neck.

"Angel!" Willow screamed, clutching onto his shoulders.  His head
lifted and he looked down at her, ridges still in place and growling
quietly.  Willow panted softly in the aftermath of her orgasm.
"Angelus. I love you."  Her fingers caressed his face lightly.  "You
are a part of my Angel and I love you, but I want him back now.  I
understand."

The first thing that Angel saw as he came to the forefront of his
consciousness was Willow's beautiful green eyes shining up at him.
"Welcome back."  She greeted him with a kiss as his face slid back to
it's human visage.

He remembered everything.  Preparing the room as a surprise for Willow,
he remembered the awful feeling of being pushed aside as the demon
took control.  Something had given it strength and it broke the bonds
that held it in check.  It hadn't been painful, like when he had been
ripped from his body, just frightening.  His fear for Willow had
overwhelmed him as the demon had waited for her.  And then she....

"You wanted him."  Angel unsheathed himself from Willow's warm and
willing body.  He sat up.  How could she have...He touched the mark
on his chest.  "You drank from him.  He could have turned you."

"You wouldn't have let him."  Willow sat up beside Angel.  "I wanted
to show you...I drank from you, Angel.  I love you and I had to show
you how much."  She buried her head in between his shoulder blades as
she hugged herself to him.  "I love you.  Please don't hate me.  Please
let me explain."  This was what she had been afraid of, that Angel
would retreat in a brood and not listen to her.  She ventured a look
at him, but the back of his head told her very little.

Angel's hand closed over hers.  "I could never hate you, Saileach.  I
just don't understand.  He's a monster, Willow."

"He's also a part of you."  She felt Angel's back stiffen.  He still
refused to face her.  "I love you, Angel, all of you, not just bits
and pieces.  Not just the good parts.  All of you."

"I..when I was him I killed your friends.  I terrorized you and Buffy.
How can you love me?"  The question had been ever-present in his mind
since they had fallen in love, but he never asked it because he was
terrified of the answer.  He was terrified that if Willow actually
thought about it, she wouldn't have an answer and would leave him.

"Angel, look at me."  Willow nudged him around until they were sitting
face to face.  Damn, the Powers That Be, why did they pick this method
to get their point across?  Angel had made such great strides in
forgiving himself and separating himself Angelus' actions in the past
from himself.  "Angelus is not you, but you are Angelus.  I know it's
confusing.  But you see, back in Sunnydale, when Angelus was doing his
evil thing, there was no Angel in him.  He looked like you, which made
it hard, and he had your memories, which was harder, but there was
nothing of you in him because your soul was gone.  Today, your soul
wasn't gone.  That wasn't truly Angelus anymore than it was truly
Angelus that time I borrowed him.  Do you really think that Angelus,
the one without a soul, would have been so concerned about whether or
not I loved him?"

It was starting to make sense, a weird Willow sense, but sense none the
less.  He had been present, just not in control of his actions.  The
other times, when his soul had been forced back into his body, he had
to relive the memories of what the demon had done because he hadn't
been there when it had committed it's atrocities.  Even now he could
feel the demon acknowledging the truth of Willow's words.  "Why did
this happen?  You said you understood."

"The PTB.  They gave the demon control to make a point.  You don't
trust me, Angel."

"Of course I..."

Willow stopped his words with her fingers on his lips.  "You hide the
demon from me, Angel, because you're ashamed and afraid.  You're afraid
I'll leave you because of the demon."

"Like Buffy did."  She was right.  The fear that she would leave him
because of what he was never left him.  Every time he bit her in the
heat of passion, he was afraid she would decide that she didn't want
a relationship with a vampire.  That she didn't want him.  His gaze
trailed down Willow's body and noted the bites the demon had given
her.

"Buffy loved you so much, Angel, but she could never accept you as a
vampire.  She used to have these dreams of you being human and the two
of you raising a family and living happily ever after with no slaying,
no demons, no vampires.  I can't fathom that life with you.  I love the
one we have.  That's why I did what I did.  I had to show you that, as
twisted as it sounds, I love you and that I accept you and our life."

She waited for him to respond.  He didn't know what to say.  She wanted
this life with him.  She was happy with him.  She wasn't going to
leave.  "You are twisted, but I love you, Saileach.  I love our life.
You were right, I was afraid."

"Not anymore?"

"Not anymore."  Angel pulled Willow to him and kissed her softly.  Her
lips parted and their tongues caressed.

When they parted, Willow only had one question.  "What was all this
for?  She waved at the flowers and candles.  "Not that I don't like it,
but what's the occasion?"

"To sweep you off your feet, so that someday you would look back on
this day and it would help you forgive me.  But now I know I won't
need that, so I guess it's just the romantic in me."

"Why would I have to forgive you?"  Willow grinned.  "Did you do
something naughty?"

His mother would roll over in her grave to know he was asking this
sitting naked in bed.  He took Willow's hands in his.  "I thought I
was going to do something completely and utterly selfish that one day
you would hate me for.  Maybe that's why the PTB did this today, to
make it perfect, because now I know it's right."  Angel looked into
her gorgeous green eyes, he lifted a hand and ran it through her silky,
red hair.  "Willow, will you marry me and be my wife for however long
our eternity lasts?"

The End

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