*-*-*-*

~1~

I read over the spell in Willow's spell book.  I sighed.  Nothing in the
book made sense to me, but of course, that's why *I* wasn't the witch.

"Do we have everything?" Willow asked softly.

I knew Willow was a good witch.  She has a lot of power.  However, after her
"Will Be Done" spell, and I *accidentally* got chased around Sunnydale by
demons of all sorts, I was still really nervous.  I would have felt better
if Giles was there.  I looked up at her.  "Are you sure it's a good idea to
be doing spells without Giles?"

"Xander!" Willow whined.  "I practice with Tara all the time!  We do spells
together, and they work.  Just let me do this, please?"

I picked up the bottle of salt, shaking it.  I wanted to be there with her,
we hadn't spent any time with each other since graduation, but I was still
apprehensive.  "I don't see why you need me here," I grumbled.

Tears filled Willow's eyes.  "Because," she said softly, "we haven't spent
much time together, just you and I.  You are my best friend, Xander, and I
miss you.  If you don't want to do the spell, then we won't do the stupid
spell."  She pushed her bowl of herbs away.

Oh, damn it.  I made her cry.  I hate making Willow cry.  Her lip sticks out
like a little girl's, and it does that quivering lip thing women are so good
at doing.  She looks at me with those big green doe eyes, filling with
tears.  I had to fix it.  I couldn't let my Wills cry.  I never could stand
to see her cry.  "Aww, Wills. . .no, it's ok.  I want to do the spell with
you.  I just didn't understand, you know?  Silly Xander?  Remember me?"  I
grinned at her, trying to appease her.

She sniffed.  "Yea, I remember.  It's been too long, Xander."

My grin grew.  "Much too long, Wills."  I pulled her close, giving her a
tight hug.  "Ok, so this spell is supposed to do what?"

"We are going to look into the past.  I figured we'd go see how we were back
when we were kids, you know?"

I smiled softly at the memory.  "Me, you, and Jesse."  Other than going home
at night, I really had a great childhood, with Willow and Jesse.  I hadn't
thought much about those times lately.  Of course, with Anya, I haven't
thought about anything, other than how the hell I'm going to give her the
next orgasm.  I think I love her, I really do, but god.  There are only so
many orgasms one can give.

"Yea," Willow grinned.  "Still want to?"

"I think it would be great," I said.  I gathered some of the various magic
items on the floor.  "I'm ready."

"Let's do it," she said, picking up her spell book.  She began to recite the
Latin softly.

*-*-*-*

"My head is killing me, Wills."

I moaned softly, turning towards Xander's voice.  My head was killing me
too.  What the hell had gone wrong this time?  We were supposed to be able
to see the past in the bowl of liquid.  But then, as we leaned down to gaze
into the bowl, there was a bright flash of light, and then darkness.

Xander complaining about his head woke me up.  I sat up.  "Damn, mine does
too."  I sighed.  Yet another Willow mess up.  I should just stop casting
spells.  I obviously can't do them right.  However, right now was not the
time for me to start getting depressed about my lack of Wicca powers.

I opened my eyes.  We were in an alleyway somewhere.  I frowned, seeing the
street.  The people walking by looked out of place, almost as if they were
dressed in costumes from the turn of the century.  The street was
cobblestone.  I gasped, seeing a horse drawn carriage go by.

I didn't have a very good feeling about this.  "Oh, goddess, was that a
horse drawn carriage?" I whispered.  I could feel the tears filling my eyes.

"What?" Xander asked, sitting up.  He looked around wildly.  "Willow, where
the hell are we?"

Oh my goddess, I had no clue.  What the hell had I done?  "I. . .I'm not
sure. . .but I don't think we are in the year 2000 anymore!"

We both stood up, brushing our clothes off.  For the first time in my entire
life, I felt underdressed.

"Wills, I think you shot us a little too far back into the past."
Fortunately, he didn't sound condescending or anything, just a little
panicked.

I looked around wildly.  "And I have no spell book!"  How was I going to get
us out of this?  How was I going to get us back home?

Xander turned to me, eyes wide.  "We. . .can't get back?"  He looked scared.
I hadn't seen him look scared like this in a long time.

"No, Xander, I can fix this.  I promise I can.  We just have to find. . .a
spell book."  There had to be a spell book somewhere.  I really *had* to get
us home.

"Willow!" he hissed.  "We *obviously* aren't in our time.  What if they don'
t *like* witches in this time?  Then what are we going to do?"

I hadn't thought about that.  My mind raced, trying to figure out what we
were going to do.  How could I get us home?  Suddenly, I remembered a movie
Xander, Jesse, and I used to watch over and over again when we were kids.
"Oh, Xander, you know in Back To The Future, where the Doc sends Marty McFly
a message from the past?  We can do that!  Buffy and Giles can save us!"

Xander blinked at me, mild surprise on his face.  "Ok, Willow, now, that was
really farfetched.  That sounded like something *I* would come up with.  I'm
rather surprised that you thought of it.  Is. . .is it that bad?  We are
stuck here, aren't we?"

I grabbed Xander's hand, holding back tears.  "I hope to Goddess not.  Come
on."

We stepped out onto the street.  I took a deep cleansing breath, praying I
could fix this.
 

~2~

Willow collapsed on the bed and sighed.  "Oh, goddess, the looks they were
giving us."

"Well, I seriously doubt that *anyone* in 1886 England had ever seen an
outfit like yours," I said, unbuttoning the jacket that came with the suit I
had bought.  We were lucky.  Willow had her grandmother's cameo, and we sold
it.  It gave us enough money to find new clothes of the time, and a room for
a couple of nights.

Willow sat up, glaring at me.  "Like they had ever seen anything like what
*you* wear!"

I know Willow Rosenberg, my best friend in the whole wide world, didn't just
insult my clothes.  "Hey!" I exclaimed.  "What the hell is wrong with what I
wear?"

Willow closed her eyes and rubbed her temples.  "Nothing.  Xander, we could
be stuck here for a while.  We need to get along."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.  Remain calm. . .remain calm. . .we
are stuck in England, in 1886.  Suddenly, it seemed funny.  I would have
loved to have had this opportunity in high school, in my history class.  I
started laughing uncontrollably.

"What is so funny?" Willow hissed, looking at me.

I spoke between laughter.  "Wills, we've been friends since we were six."  I
sat on the bed next to her, after pulling my jacket off.  I unbuttoned the
first two buttons of my shirt.  "We've been through my crazy shit. . .I
mean, the whole *vampire* aspect of our life?  Hyenas, burning at stakes,
teachers who want to eat me, channeling military guys?"  Never did I imagine
that my life would end up like this.

Willow chuckled.  "Vampires with souls. . ."

"Vampires with chips," I grinned.  Spike wasn't that bad, but I had to throw
him in there.

"And the Slayer.  Who would have thought we'd be best friends to the
Slayer?"

"And dating Cordelia!  Who would have *ever* thought I would have dated
Cordelia Chase?" I asked.  "Hell!  I was the treasurer of the 'We Hate
Cordelia Chase' club!"

Willow chuckled.  "And said Cordelia Chase is now working with Angel in LA!"

"Yea," I said, laying back.  "And you are a witch.  And because of that, we
are now sitting in England, in 1886.  And everyone thinks we are married."
It was the best way to get one room without everyone thinking badly about
us.  I was amazed how easy the lie passed through my lips, that Willow was
my wife.

Willow grinned an impish grin.  "Yea, I know.  To think, three years ago, I
would have gone crazy to pretend to be married to you."

I looked down.  I've always had a hard time with the feelings Willow once
had for me.  She always thought that I didn't know, but I did.  I always
knew.  I just. . .I didn't want to ruin what we had.  Willow knew me better
than anyone in the world, and to think that a few kisses could have ruined
that. . .she was too important for that.  Willow cleared her throat, looking
away from me.  The blush on her cheeks was enough to tell that she hadn't
thought before speaking.

"I'm. . .sorry," I said slowly, "that you had to sell your grandmother's
cameo to get the money for clothes and a room to stay in."  I was sorry
about that, and for hurting her all those years.

Willow smiled.  "That's fine," she said.  "I'm just glad I had it.  I never
really liked it anyway.  I'm surprised they gave us so much."  Both of us
were.  I didn't think that the cameo was such a collector's item, at least
not back in 1886.

"We just have to conserve until we can find a way home."  I sighed.  We were
going to get home, I knew we were.  We had to.

Willow lay back next to me.  "Home.  Never have I thought I'd be happy to
see the Hellmouth."

I looked at Willow.  I tried to hide the fear in my voice, but I knew that
she could probably hear it.  "We are going to make it home, aren't we?"

Willow smiled her brightest Willow smile.  "Yea," she said.  "I promise."  I
don't know why, but I believed her.  I knew that if she set her mind to it,
we would get home.

*-*-*-*

I tugged on Xander's hand.  He was dragging his heels.  We were walking down
the street, trying to find a store that might pass as a magic shop.  All I
needed was a transportation spell.  That was all I needed.  I knew that I
could get us home.  We had to get home.  I didn't think I could handle being
stuck in 1886 London, England.  There were no computers there!

"Willow," Xander hissed, "I'm not too keen on the idea of being out, past
dark."  He tugged on my hand, trying to pull me back towards the inn.

"Xander, we have stakes," I hissed.  How bad could it be?  We survived four
years on the Hellmouth.  We can survive a couple of days in a city away from
the Hellmouth.

"But no Buffy," Xander replied, a look of pouting on his face.

I turned around in shock  Sure, Buffy saved us most of the time, but I knew
full well that we could do it without her.  We could survive.  We had to.  I
put my hand on my hip and cocked my head, with a touch of annoyance on my
face.  "Xander, we can do just fine without Buffy, and you know it."

Xander chewed his bottom lip for a moment, then sighed.  "Yea, you're right.
Automatic response, I guess."

"Come on!  I bet there aren't any vampires here anyway!" I grinned, grabbing
his hand.  Yea, right.  Like we could be that lucky.

"Woah, girl, remember?  Scourge of Europe?  Angelus and Spike?  Ringing any
bells?" Xander asked, rubbing his face.  I could see that he'd been thinking
about this for a while, and was truly concerned we'd meet the killers our
friends used to be.

I stared at him, fear in my eyes.  I hadn't given that much thought.  There'
s no way, it couldn't happen.  Angelus, Spike, and Drusilla had to be far
away from here. . .they couldn't be here in London when we were.  "No. .
.you don't think. . ."

"I'm sure, Willow, that they are somewhere else right now.  Seriously.  Now
with all we've been through, why would the Fates put us in London in 1886
during the exact time that *they* were here?  Even Fate isn't that cruel,"
Xander said.  He gave me a comforting smile as my gaze drifted over his
shoulder.  My throat closed, my body froze, and I squeezed his hand in fear.

For there, behind Xander, were exactly who we didn't want to see.  It was
Angelus and Spike.
 

~3~

I grinned at Willow, trying to get her to loosen up.  She really hadn't
thought of coming across the two bastard vampires.  Unfortunately, that's
*all* I had been thinking about.  With my track record, I knew that it was
bound to happen.

She squeezed my hand with a painful grip.  "Dear God, Wills!  You are
squeezing the hell out of my hand!  What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Holy shit," she whispered.

"Wills, you never cuss.  What's wrong with you?"  Ok, this wasn't good,
whatever it was that scared her.  She just doesn't cuss unless there was
something direly wrong, such as. . .we were about to die.  That would make
Willow cuss.

"Maybe *we* are, mate," a very familiar voice with cool breath caressed my
ear.  I closed my eyes and froze.

"Please let him have blonde hair, please let him have blonde hair."  I
turned slowly, not letting go of Willow's hand.  I paled, fear flooding
every nerve and vein of my body.  < Anya, I love you, > I thought, starting
my last thoughts.  < Willow, you are my best friend, I'm glad we had a
chance to be close to each other.  Giles, I always thought of you as my
father.  Buffy, you kick ass, girl. >

Spike and Angelus stood there, grinning like Cheshire cats.  There was no
game face, but they were still terrifying.  Both had long brown hair, tied
at the nape of the neck.  Both had hungry looks in their eyes.  They looked
like they were ready to devour us.

I fidgeted nervously.  "Holy shit," I swore.  "Wills, um. . .what do you
know about Angelus and Spike?"

"I know that we are going to die now," Willow said softly.  I squeezed her
hand.

Spike frowned.  "You know who we are?" he asked.  He grinned at Angelus.
"We really are bloody known around here, ducks!"

Angelus' grin grew.  "No, they seem as if they know us as more than the
Scourge."

I always had a problem of speaking before I thought.  "Deadboy," I said
automatically, nodding my head at Angelus.  I was standing in front of
Willow now, trying to protect her from the vampires.  Like I could have
stopped them if they decided they wanted her.  "I know you as Deadboy.  And
Spike. . .you are Fangless, or Deadboy Jr."

Spike frowned.  "Fangless?  What the hell do you mean by Fangless?"  He
truly looked upset.

Willow stepped forward.  She gulped, trying to gather a bit of bravery.  "It
was all the Commandos' fault.  They did it.  They put the chip in that took
your bite away."

Spike growled at that news.  "When?"  His fists clenched.  It was obvious
that his emotions now were just as hard to control as they were back in the
future. . .or. . .ok.  That made no sense really.  But I'm sure you know
what I mean.

"Should we really be telling them stuff, Wills?  We could entirely change
the course of time," I asked softly, not taking my eyes off the vampires.
"I've seen Star Trek.  I know what can happen if you ruin history like
that."

I frowned.  There was something. . .odd about the way Spike was watching me.
His hair wasn't very long, not like Angelus' was.  He had his ponytail in
his hands and was twirling it around his fingers, almost. . .seductively.
And I could swear his eyes were darkening.  They were actually becoming
almost midnight blue.  It almost looked as if Spike were *interested* in me.

And the even scarier thing than that was that I found myself staring into
those eyes and imagining. . .well, I was imagining things that I only
imagined about the blond Spike, late at night when I knew no one was around
for miles.  I could feel my cheeks starting to turn a slight red.  I
squeezed Willow's hand again, praying for death.  This was humiliating.  Two
violent vampires were about to kill us, and all I could imagine was Spike
pushing me over the back of a chair and pounding into me, thoughts I don't
normally have.

A slow grin spread over his features and he nodded slightly, licking his
lips.  I got hard, watching that tongue slide over those oh so kissable
lips. . .

Great.  I was aroused, and he knew!  To top it off, he was teasing me!  I
never knew our Spike to be this. . .sexual.  I mean, he looks good, and
radiates sexuality, but I've never, in the entire time I've known him, seen
him watch me with those midnight blue eyes and lick those lips and pretty
much tell me I was his.

"Wills," I whispered.  "Things are about to spiral *way* out of control."  I
tugged on my jacket and shifted my body, trying to hide my obvious arousal.

"I think they already are," she whispered back, her eyes still on Angelus'
face.  I glanced at the older vampire.  Hmm.  That was kind of funny.  He
was watching her the same way Spike was watching me.

I wonder how much we've changed history now?

When Angel finds us in Sunnydale in '96, will he still love Buffy?  Or will
he be drawn to Willow?  And what about Spike?  Will he decide to love me
instead of try to kill me?  My memories are still the same, so I'm not too
sure. . .but then, I hadn't ever gone back in time before, so I wasn't too
sure how the travelers were affected.
 

~4~

I had to get us out of there.  I noticed that Spike looked like he was ready
to pounce on Xander, and not in an 'I want to kill you' way, but in an 'I
want to shag you, pet' way.  I had to diffuse the situation so we could run
like hell.  I glanced up at Angelus and my mouth almost dropped.  He was
watching me the same way.  "Angelus," I said softly, fidgeting
uncomfortably.  Now I know why Buffy loved him so much.  I'd seen him give
her those looks, but I'd never seen them head on.  They were amazing.  Dark
and filled with passion. . .

"Yes, Little One?" Angelus replied, smiling at me.  He licked his lips.  Oh,
damn, Angelus wanted me.  Somehow, that thought doesn't upset me as much as
I know it should.

"Ok, you call me Little One, back home, that's cool, but I'm not sure if I
like the way you are looking at me.  You are only supposed to look at Buffy
that way."

"Buffy?" Angelus scowled.  "Who the hell is *Buffy*?"

"Now you said way too much," Xander hissed, nudging me.  "We can't tell them
about that stuff!"

"Never mind!" I cried.  "Just kill us now, forget we exist!"  Gypsies.
Mention gypsies.  "Oh!  And um. . .remember, gypsy girls are *really*
tasty!"  I closed my eyes and waited for death.

Angelus' laughter rang through the street.  "I like this one.  I think we
should keep her."

I opened my eyes, glaring at him.  Unfortunately, I had forgotten that I was
dealing with Angelus, Master Vampire and Killer.  I was just enraged that he
thought he could keep me like a common item.  "*Keep* me?  What the hell
does that mean?" I spat.  No one was going to *keep* me.  I didn't care who
he was.

Xander put his hand on my shoulder, shifting uncomfortably.  "Wills,
remember, this is the Badass.  You know, vamp without a soul.  This isn't. .
.this isn't Peaches we are talking to."

"Peaches?" Spike asked, raising an eyebrow.  He glanced at Angelus and
laughed.  "Peaches.  I like it!"

I blinked in surprise, then looked over at Xander.  He was staring at me
with the same shocked look I know I had on my face.  "Ok, this is too wiggy
for me," Xander said.

I sighed.  "Maybe we should talk.  But no funny business," I growled,
pointing my finger at the two vampires.  "I don't want to become Vamp
Willow.  It's very unbecoming on me."  I shuddered at the thought.

"I'm just not smelling enough fear here," Spike said calmly.  "Maybe if we
show them our true faces. . ."

"No, I like her.  I told you that, William," Angelus said.  "Come on, let's
go. . .sit.  Talk."  He smiled at me, his eyes dancing in amusement.  It was
so strange to see him like this.  I'd never seen Angel this happy, even when
he was with Buffy.  And Angelus was too busy trying to kill us to look
happy.

"Oh, god, Wills.  I thought that meeting Deadboy the first time was
unnerving.  Now we are going to go sit down and talk to him.  Angelus.
Willow, do you realize what this means?  He can *kill* us!  And Spike!?  Oh,
god, don't get me started on Spike.  Sure, when he came to Sunnydale for Dru
and kidnapped us. . ."

*-*-*-*

The words were out of my mouth before I even thought about it.  "Sure, when
he came to Sunnydale for Dru and kidnapped us. . ."

The next instant, Angelus was squeezing my throat in a punishing grip, and
my feet are probably six inches off the ground.  I gasped, trying to get air
to my lungs.  I grabbed his wrists and tried to pull his hand away, but of
course, the bastard was so much stronger than me.

His face was inches from mine, eyes yellow, teeth sharp.  "Dru?"  he hissed.
"What about Dru?"

"Stop," I gasped, feeling my eyes bug out of my head.  I really thought I'd
die, right there.  I couldn't breath, I couldn't feel my body, I was dying.
I kicked out, trying to reach him, but it was useless.  He was too far away.

"Put.  Him.  Down.  Now." Willow demanded.  I figured her eyes were flashing
in anger.

Angelus glanced at the redhead.  "She's such a spitfire.  I'm keeping her."

"Not if you don't put him down," Willow demanded.

That meant. . .if Angelus spared me, then he'd get to keep Willow!  "No!" I
choked.  I didn't want Angelus to keep her.  She was much too good to become
a vampire slut!

Angelus threw me down.  I gasped, taking deep breaths.  Willow dropped to
her knees next to me, running her fingers through my hair.  "Are you ok?"
she asked softly.

I closed my eyes and leaned into her comforting touch.  "Yea, I think so. .
.only mild bruising of my throat, thanks."

She chuckled.  A smile tugged on the corners of my lips.

"So, this your lover?" Angelus asked.  I could hear the jealousy in his
voice.  I knew at that moment that if he thought we were, he'd have no
hesitations in killing me.  Dead.  And that was something I surely didn't
want to happen.  Thank god Wills and me weren't lovers.

Willow sighed.  "No, he's not.  Just a friend.  Come on, let's go talk."

Angelus led us to a pub down the street from where we were.  Spike dropped
back with me and ran his hand along my arm.  "You know, pet, I think you are
one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen."

I glanced at him.  "I just never figured you for a. . .uh. . ."

"A what?" he asked, his eyes flashing yellow.

"A Poof," I whispered softly.  I winced, waiting to die.

Spike's laughter caught me off guard.  I opened my eyes.  "You aren't
killing me," I whispered.

"No, you intrigue me.  I want to know where you're from."  He waggled his
eyebrow.  "And it's been such a long time since I've pounded into a mortal.
. .so tight and warm. . ."

I shivered at the thought.  "Yep, ok, um. . .yea."  I didn't know what to
say!  Spike was coming on to me!  "Uh. . .Willow. . ."

Willow glanced back at me, shrugging.  She had her arm interlocked with
Angelus, and he was telling her about the beauty of the England countryside.
 

~5~

I giggled.  I had already drank a pint of ale, and I was getting drunk.  I
didn't know why I trusted my life to these two vampires that could kill
Xander and me, but I was.  And I was actually having a good time.

"So," Angelus said, leaning forward.  He brushed his hand against mine.  I
closed my eyes, feeling electricity pass between us.  Oh, goddess, I wanted
him.  "Where are you from?"

"Oh, that's easy!" Xander exclaimed.  He was drunker than I was.  "I can
answer that one!  We are from the year 2000.  Sunnydale, California.  That's
in America.  It's the Hellmouth!" he whispered in a loud stage whisper.

Spike grinned.  "We are on the Hellmouth!  I told you we'd make it there
eventually, Peaches."  He clasped Angelus' shoulder.

"Would you stop calling me Peaches?" Angelus growled.

I giggled.  They were so funny!  "You are so not like who we know."

"And what are we like in your time, pet?" Spike asked, turning to me.

"Well, Spike, you have the chip we told you about.  You can't bite people.
Can't hurt anyone at all.  It wasn't good for you at all, but you help us
now. . .oh, yea, we are the best friends of the Slayer."

Spike's growl was loud.  "I *help* the Slayer?  I'd rather die than help the
bloody Slayer!"

"Well, Deadboy slept with her!" Xander exclaimed, pointing to Angelus.

"I did *what*?" Angelus growled, standing up.  "Never!"

"Angelus," I said softly, tugging on his sleeve.  "You have a soul.  You
fell in love with her."

Angelus sat back heavily.  "A soul?" he whispered.  "How the hell did I get
a soul?"

*-*-*-*

"Gypsy girl you ate," I replied to his question.  "The family got mad,
cursed you."  I shrugged.  "I don't know when it happened, or what the
circumstances were, but I think it's sometime in the next decade."

Angelus sat back.  "I just won't eat any gypsies then."  He shrugged.
"Avoid them all together."

I could see the wheels in Willow's head turning.  "No, no, you have to,
Angelus!  If you don't, then we won't meet, in our time, you know?  Or if we
do meet, you will try to kill us."

"No, lover, we won't," Angelus said softly, stroking Willow's cheek.  "I won
't ever kill you.  And I'll even help your friends, if you really want me
to."

"So, pet, are we involved?" Spike whispered in my ear.

I froze.  "No," I whispered.  "We hate each other."

"What a bloody shame," he murmured, running his tongue along my ear.  I
moaned, leaning into him.  "I could have made you feel things you've never
felt before. . ."

"Spike," I whispered.  "I. . .have dreamt about you. . .but you hate me."

"Could never hate you, luv."  He started sucking on my earlobe.

I closed my eyes, groaning softly.  I wanted him.  Oh, my god, I wanted
Spike.  This was bad and wrong.  But it felt *so* good. . .  "Spike, please.
. ."

"You want me, pet?"

"I do want you," I replied honestly.  There was no use in lying to the
vampire.  I'm sure he could see the very obvious bulge in my pants.

"We should leave. . .go back to the flat," he purred in my ear.

I could hear Willow talking in the haziness of my lust.  "No fair!" she
pouted.  "Xander's gettin' some, and I'm not.  I want to get some."  I
forced my eyes open and grinned.  She had her arms crossed and was
definitely pouting.  She really was adorable when she pouted.

"Lover," Angelus murmured to her, "if you want to be bedded, all you have to
do is say the word."

Willow giggled and turned to us.  "Spike, bed me please."

Angelus growled at her.  She giggled louder, turning to him.  "I'm sorry,"
she laughed.  "I want you, not him.  I'm just playing!  It's a joke, you
know?  Haha, funny?  Laugh, Angelus!"  She poked him in the side.  I can't
believe that my very frail, very human best friend just poked Angelus in the
side.  I hoped to God that he didn't kill her.

He chuckled softly.  And then I opened my eyes in shock.  Angelus was
laughing.  It was full  all out laughter.  "Wow.  Deadboy is *laughing*."

"Angelus," Willow said softly.  "I've never heard you really laugh before.
And your eyes are all crinkly and filled with happiness. . .oh goddess, you
are beautiful when you aren't trying to kill us."

Angelus smiled.  "Thank you, Little One.  Come on.  I think Spike's about to
attack Xander right here.  We should go back to the flat."

Willow nodded her head in agreement.

I was frozen.  I couldn't move a muscle.  Spike had moved his hand to my lap
and was stroking my erection.  It was. . .I was. . .No one had ever. . .

Anya never made me feel this good, and I still had all my clothes on.  I
couldn't imagine what it would be like when he was touching my naked flesh.
. .

I jumped up suddenly, pulling Spike up.  "Now," I hissed.  "We need to go
now."

Angelus stood up, grabbing Willow by the hand.  He pulled her up.  "Now," he
agreed.  He threw some money on the table and we left.

Little did I know that this night would change everything.  It would change
our lives and everything we've ever known.
 

~6~

I grumbled when the phone started ringing.  I opened my eyes and glanced at
the clock.  It was 7:36 in the morning.  I picked up the phone.  "What?" I
asked angrily.

"Buffy, it's Giles.  There are problems."

I sat up, running fingers through my hair.  "At 7:36 in the morning?" I
asked.

"Buffy!  Willow and Xander are not here!"

"What?" I asked, frowning.  "What do you mean?"  That woke me up.  Something
was wrong with my best friends.

"They are gone.  Just come to the house.  We will explain everything."

"Ok, see you in a few," I said.  I hung the phone up and turned to Riley.
"Riley, baby, wake up.  Xander and Willow are gone!"

He turned over.  "Gone?" he asked.  "Where to?"

"I don't know, but Giles called.  We have to go to his house."  I got up and
started getting dressed.  Within moments, Riley was dressing too.

It didn't take us very long to get to Giles' house.  I ran in, Riley on my
heels.  I skidded to a stop, groaning when I saw Blondie sitting on the
couch.  "Hey, Spike," I grumbled.  He was *so* not the person I wanted to
see this early in the morning.

"Hey, Slayer," he said, glancing down.

I frowned.  He looked worried about something.  I couldn't figure out what
it was.  Maybe he was worried about Willow.  They seemed to be friends. . .
"Where are they?"

Spike looked up, frowning.  "England, I think," he answered.

"*WHAT*?" I cried.  "What the hell are they doing there?"

"Morning, Buffy, Riley."

I turned slowly.  Angel was walking out of the kitchen.  "Angel," I said
softly, my heart jumping into my throat.  What the hell was he doing there?
"What. . .what are you doing here?"

"Angel?" he asked me curiously.  "Who is Angel?"

I opened my mouth, then closed it.  What did he mean, 'Who is Angel'?

"Angelus," Riley grinned.  He slapped Angel on the back.  The same vampire I
had once given my heart to.  Why the hell was he calling Angel Angelus?  And
why the hell were they being friendly?

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" I cried.

Angel. . .Angelus, whatever he went by now, looked at me.  "Willow is gone,
as is Xander.  They are in 1886 England."

"How do you know that?" I asked, baffled.

"Because," Spike spoke up, "That's the first *real* time I shagged my
Xander."  He grinned at what I supposed was the memory.

My mouth fell open.  "Shagged Xander?  *Your* Xander?"  I turned back to
Angel.  "And you are Angelus?  When did you lose the soul again?"

Angelus frowned.  "I never got the soul, Buffy.  You know that.  Xander told
me about the gypsy, and so I never ate her."  He shrugged.  "Spike and I
waited around for Xander and Willow, and now they are gone, back to then,
where we first met them."

"You waited for *Willow*?" I asked.  "What do you mean?"

Angelus frowned.  "I'm in love with her, Buffy.  You know that."

I blinked.  "No!" I cried.  "Me!  You are in love with me!"  My heart hurt.
He can't be in love with her!  He's in love with me.  He has to be in love
with me.  I'm his one true love!  Not Willow. . . "You. . .we dated, you
slept with me, and lost the soul.  Went crazy, tried to kill us, and then
Willow gave you the soul back, and you went to hell. . ."  I was going
crazy.  I knew I was.  That's what was happening.  "You came back, and then
you moved to LA."

Angelus frowned.  "Buffy. . .none of that ever happened.  I still live in
Sunnydale, with Willow.  We've been together for four years now.  Spike's
been with Xander for four years.  We help you fight, although we aren't real
thrilled about it. . .but it's important to Willow and Xander."

I turned to Giles.  He frowned.  "Where are these memories you've got coming
from?" he asked.  "They aren't right, Buffy."

"They never happened?" I asked, tears filling my eyes.  My whole life hadn't
happened!  I dropped to my knees, sobs overtaking my body.  I couldn't
breath, I was crying so hard.  Everything I ever knew was gone.

I dimly heard Angelus speaking.  "Oh, no," he said.  "Xander and Willow did
tell us, back in 1886, about how I had the soul, and fell in love with the
Slayer. . .then lost the soul. . .Buffy has the memories of their past."

~7~

I walked in their apartment. . .flat. . .whatever. . .somewhat surprised.
It was done very tastefully, with a lot of art and decoration.  "Wow," I
said softly, turning to Angelus.  "Nice place."

"Thank you, love," he replied silkily.  I never noticed how seductive his
voice could be.

"Well, Xander, would you like to retire to the bedroom?" Spike asked, not
wasting any time.  He never was patient.

Xander fidgeted nervously.  "You aren't going to kill me, right?" he asked
softly.

Spike reached out, running his finger along my best friend's jawbone.
"Depends on your definition of killing, luv."

"Um. . ." Xander stammered, "other than you draining my blood, or breaking
my neck, or something along those lines, I really don't know what other kind
of killing there can be."

"Well, I've often heard that an orgasm can be a tiny death. . ."  Spike
grinned seductively at Xander.

"I. . .uh, I can do orgasms."

"Bloody hell, luv, come on then!"  Spike grabbed Xander's arm and drug him
into what I supposed was his bedroom.

I looked up at Angelus.  "He's not going to kill Xander, is he?"

"No, lover, he won't.  He's actually interested in your friend.  I haven't
seen William want someone that much in quite a while.  Other than myself, of
course."

Willow sat on the couch.  "So the Watcher's Journals are true then.  You and
Spike did have. . .do have a relationship."

"Of course, Little One.  We are Sire and Childe.  It is common for a vampire
to have relations with his Childe."

I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed.  "Damn.  How did I get us into
this?  All we wanted to do was see Jesse."

"What do you mean?" Angelus asked me, sitting next to me.

"I did a spell, so we could see ourselves as children, and we ended up here.
We weren't supposed to go anywhere, just watch ourselves.  But. . ."  I
sighed again.  "I messed it up.  Like I always do."

"Now, now," Angelus said.  "I'm sure that you don't always mess things up."

I brightened.  "I did help Buffy defeat Adam.  That was really cool.  But
um. . .Giles and Xander helped too.  But still. . .you know, I did some
good."

Angelus smiled at me.  It was so hard looking at him like this, and not
thinking of Angel.  I'd always had a secret crush on Angel, just because he
was such a handsome, beautiful man.  And I could see that he cared a great
deal about Buffy. . .

. . .Buffy.  "Oh, goddess," I whispered, tears coming to my eyes.  "No, that
's not good."

"What is it, lover?" Angelus asked, wrapping his arm around me and pulling
me to him.

"What if we mess up my past?  I mean, you know a lot about what happened
now, and um. . .you won't fall in love with Buffy now.  You know better.
Granted, that could be a good thing, because then you won't sleep with her
and lose the soul, even if you get the soul now, and she loves you so much,
even though she's with Riley now, and goddess, Angelus, I just don't want to
change my history like that!  Poor Buffy."

Angelus looked amused by my ramblings.  He laughed, the sound coming from
deep within his chest.  "My sweet Willow.  How could I ever want another,
after seeing your fiery red hair and those green eyes dance?"

"But no!  You love Buffy!  You do!  I know that you do."  I stood up and
started pacing.  "We are so screwing everything up!"  I was slowly coming
out of the alcohol haze that was wrapped around my mind.

"But, lover, think about this.  Your past hasn't happened yet."

"What?" I asked, turning to him.  I frowned.  "I don't understand what you
mean."

"Your past is still over a hundred years in the future.  If I never fall in
love with your friend, then she won't know what she's missing."

My lip quivered at the thought.  "Yea," I said softly, "but she loved you so
much.  You two were so wonderful together. . .and she deserves to have that
chance.  Who am I to take it away from her?"

He got up and came to me.  He cupped my cheeks in his hands, tilting my face
up to his.  "Willow, your friend, this Buffy. . .she's the Slayer, am I
correct?"

"Yes," I said softly, looking up at him.

"It's not natural for a vampire to love a Slayer.  You may be *screwing*
with your past by being here, but you are making something drastically wrong
right again.  And if she caused me to lose my soul and try to kill everyone,
then perhaps it is better."  He frowned slightly.  "I can't believe I just
said that, that killing everyone was a bad thing."

"It was a very bad thing," I said softly.  "You killed my fish, you tried to
kill me.  And Spike. . .I can't tell you how many times he's tried to kill
us."

He leaned down, brushing his lips against mine.  "I don't want you dead,
Willow."

"How do you want me, Angelus?" I asked quietly.

He smirked.  "I want you in my bed, naked, quivering underneath me."

I shivered at the thought.  "Ok," I said softly.  "I guess so.  I mean, I
want you, that much I know, but I just. . ."  I still had apprehensions.  It
was too late to change what was going to happen now.  I knew that my past
would be drastically different.  But being with Angelus. . .Master Vampire
with no soul. . .as much as I wanted it, that terrified me.  "You won't hurt
me, will you?"

"Not at first, lover.  Not until I know you can handle the pain."

I blinked in surprise.  "But. . .But. . . I don't want any pain," I
whimpered.

"Don't worry, lover," he said, after leaning down to whisper in my ear.  I
shivered.  His cold breath was wrecking havoc on my senses.  "I won't make
it more than you can handle."

I closed my eyes.  "I want you, Angelus.  I want you inside of me."  I want
you inside of me?  Since when did I become this. . .this. . .wanton?  It
must be a side effect of time travel.  Yea.  That's it.  I was losing my
mind.

"That is one request I'd be happy to grant."  He picked me up, causing me to
squeal with delight.  He carried me into his bedroom.  I shivered in
anticipation.  How would sex with a vampire be different than it was with
Oz?  And how would sleeping with a known maniacal killer be different than
sleeping with someone who was caring and kind, and had a soul?

And how would. . .my thoughts stopped abruptly when Angelus started to kiss
me.
 

~8~

              Oh.  My.  God.  I was in heaven.  I never, in all of my twenty years have
               ever felt anything as good as what I felt as soon as we got into Spike's
               room.  Now, I knew, from personal experience, that Anya was quite wonderful
               when it came to giving head.  She really was.  But Spike. . .

               His mouth was cold, not warm like Anya's was.  That in itself made me
               harder.  Just the idea that there was this deliciously beautiful mouth, with
               those wonderful lips wrapped around my dick. . .I had to start thinking
               about baseball, just so I wouldn't explode right then.

               I was sitting on the edge of his bed, my pants at my ankles.  He was eager,
               like a kid looking for candy.  I barely got in the room before he unbuttoned
               my pants and slid them to the floor.  He pushed me down on the bed and
               dropped to his knees.

               I never imagined Spike in a submissive position, but I assumed that since he
               and his sire hadn't had their falling out yet, that the currently brunette
               vampire was used to it.  I ran my fingers through the long brown hair,
               pulling the bow out.  He looked up at me, and suddenly, it struck me.

               Spike was a beautiful man.  He had those big blue eyes - not filled with
               hate for once.  Angular cheekbones and lips. . .I could die for those lips.
               I could die from those lips too. . .but that wasn't the point.  His hair was
               a dark shade of brown, but not as dark as Angel's. . .Angelus. . .whatever.
               This future/past stuff was affecting my brain.  Anyway, his hair was to the
               nape of his neck, curling at the edges.  His bangs were long, curling at the
               side of his face.  It was quite beautiful on him.

               "Spike," I whispered, ignoring my bobbing cock in front of his face.  "I
               need you."  And I did.  I had grown to want the blond vampire back home, for
               some odd reason.  I knew he'd never have me then, but perhaps now. . .

               He smiled.

               My heart burst in insane flutters at his smile.  I had never seen him smile
               like that.  I was in love.  There was no doubt about it.  I was in love with
               a violent vampire, and I really didn't care.  Somewhere, in the back of my
               head, I knew that I should, but I didn't.

               He licked his lips then licked the tip of my cock.  At the sudden coldness
               on my head, I almost jerked off the bed, but he had his hands on my thighs,
               keeping me in place.  And then he took my tip in his mouth.

               I moaned low and deep when he started swirling his tongue over the head.  Oh
               god, I was in heaven.  I really was.  His mouth was cold, but not too cold.
               He inched down my length, running his tongue along the bottom of it.  Oh,
               god.  I don't think I could have repeated that enough:  Oh, god.  I would
               definitely die for this feeling.

               He pulled up, just the tip in his mouth.  And then he did something I've
               never had anyone do to me.  He engulfed me.  That's really the only way to
               describe it.  One second, he had the tip in his mouth, and the next. . .his
               nose was buried in my curls, the tip of my dick against the back of his
               throat.

               I had my hands behind me, holding me up.  I threw my head back.  "Oh, my
               god," I rumbled.  "I am so glad vampires don't have to breathe."

               He somehow chuckled without even removing my dick from his mouth.  The
               vibrations of that chuckle rocked my body, and I knew I wasn't going to
               last.  I wanted to last, wanted to have him suck my dick for eternity, but I
               knew that was impossible.

               And then he was fucking me with his mouth.  Those perfect lips, that cold
               mouth, running up and down my length, taking all of me.  He maintained a
               steady rhythm, exactly to the speed of my beating heart.  I knew that's what
               he was doing, fucking me to the beat of my heart.  That excited me for some
               reason.

               He reached up and fingered my balls, teasing them, coaxing my orgasm out of
               me.  I held it though, I was determined for him to do this as long as
               possible.  I never wanted it to end.

               But it did.  The second I felt his finger tracing the ring of muscles of my
               ass, it was over.  I howled, my world exploding in what was quite possibly
               the most intense orgasm I'd ever experienced.  I shot my entire load down
               his throat.  He kept running his tongue along my dick, drinking my essence.

               I collapsed on the bed, quivering from the intensity of the moment.  There
               were still pinpoints of light behind my eyes as I fumbled for the buttons on
               my shirt.  I finally, in a moment of desperation, ripped the buttons off my
               shirt, letting it fall open.  The bed dipped down and I felt a body next to
               mine.  He was still clothed, but I could feel his erection in my hip.  He
               was hard, and it was because of me.

               "Xander. . ." he whispered in that seductive voice I've heard him use to get
               Willow to do something for him.

               I turned my head and opened bleary eyes.  "William," I murmured, using his
               given name.  I knew he'd answer to it here.  "Bite me."

               I could see shock in his eyes.  "Bite you?" he asked slowly, as if he was
               trying to make sure that's what I asked.

               "Yes," I whispered.  "I've always wanted to know. . .wanted to see how it
               felt.  I don't want to die, but I know you can bite and not take too much
               blood.  Please. . ."  Great.  Now I was begging for a vampire to bite me.

               He leaned down and ran his tongue along my jugular.  I shivered in
               anticipation.  I remember thinking, < Please don't let me die. . .not yet. >
               And then I felt his ridges on my neck.  I closed my eyes and braced myself
               for the pain.  I'd never seen a vampire bite someone and there not be pain.

               But there was no pain involved in this bite.  I felt the prickle of his
               fangs, almost like a tiny needle had pierced my skin.  And then they sunk
               in.  I arched my back in the most exquisite pleasure.  I grabbed his head
               and pulled him closer. . .it was amazing.  I could feel my blood rushing to
               the twin holes in my neck.  He'd removed his fangs and was now lazily
               lapping at my blood.  And. . .he was purring.  Spike was purring!  I didn't
               even know vampires could do that.  It was such an incredible sound.

               I blinked, tears filling my eyes from the passion in the moment.  "Oh, god.
               . .Spike. . ." I whispered.  Yep.  I was in love.
 

~9~

              "Angelus," I whispered softly.  I was scared.  I had every right to be.
               This was *Angelus*.

               "Willow," he purred in my ear, "do you trust me?"

               "Trust you?" I squeaked.  "Well. . .I. . ."  I sat down on his bed.
               Something my Spike said to me a few weeks back popped in my head.  "Pet," he
               told me, "the Angelus who sired me is a lot like the Poof who lives in LA."
               I looked up at him, swallowing hard.  "As much as I can," I whispered.

               He smiled, then turned from me.  He went to his dresser and retrieved
               something.  He came back and kneeled in front of me.  He held up a black
               silk scarf.

               I shivered.  "What is that for?" I asked.

               "Blindfold," he grinned mischievously.

               "Blind. . .fold?" I whispered.  With my eyes covered, he could do anything
               to me!  Oh, goddess, what had I gotten myself into?  "You aren't going to. .
               .tie me up too, are you?"

               "No," he whispered.  "I won't this time."  He smiled.  "May I?"

               I closed my eyes, whispering a small prayer to my goddess.  "Ok," I answered
               meekly.

               He leaned up and wrapped the scarf around my eyes, tying it snuggly behind
               my head.  My entire world was bathed in pitch black.  My fear heightened.  I
               was terrified, yet oddly turned on.

               "Willow, with this blindfold on, your sense of touch will be so much
               sharper.  I want you to enjoy this."

               "Ok," I whispered.  He pushed me back and began to slowly undress me.  His
               fingers touched every inch of my skin.  They were colder than what I was
               used to, but it was. . .wonderful.  It really was wonderful!  His fingertips
               caused goosebumps to rise on my skin.

               He took his time undressing me.  The second I felt his cool lips on my skin,
               I moaned softly.  "Angelus. . ." I whispered.  His lips were at my neck,
               tracing down my collarbone.  They traveled over my skin, down the swell of
               my breast, to my nipple.  I arched my back when he took my nub in his mouth.
               "Angelus. . ." I moaned.

               My head was swimming; my heart was pounding.  He had barely touched me, but
               I was feeling things I'd never felt before.  "Angelus, touch me," I
               whispered.

               The hand on my hip began to travel down, over my pelvis.  I thrust my hips
               up, begging silently for his touch.  His tongue was softly rolling my nipple
               around in his mouth, and his fingers were brushing through my curls.  "Oh,
               goddess. . ."

               He flicked his thumb against my clit and I arched off the bed again with a
               long drawn out moan.  I gripped the blanket on his bed, trying to keep my
               hands from going to his hips and forcing him to slide into me.  "Please," I
               begged.

               I hissed in pleasure when a finger slid into me.  I ground my hips against
               his hand, clenching my muscles around his finger.  He groaned, moving his
               mouth to my other nipple with a long slow lick between my breasts.
                 "Willow," I heard him murmur against my skin.  "You taste so good. . ."

               He thrust another finger into me quickly, catching me off guard.  "Oh,
               goddess!" I gasped, feeling the beginnings of my orgasm coming on.
               "Angelus, I'm. . .I'm going to cum," I purred.

               I whimpered when he pulled his fingers out of my cunt.  "No," I begged.
               "Don't stop, please. . ."

               "Not stopping yet, lover," he purred in my ear.  I felt the head of his dick
               at my entrance.  "You are tight, Willow, it will hurt at. . ."

               He never finished his sentence, because I wrapped my legs around his hips
               and jerked my hips up, sheathing him in my tightness.  He was *huge*.  Much
               thicker than Oz, and a tad longer.  "Oh, goddess. . ." I hissed.

               "Willow," he groaned.  "Oh, god, Willow."  He pushed his hips down, driving
               my body into the mattress.  "Oh, you are so warm and tight," he hissed.

               I threw my head back, knowing I was exposing my neck to him.  I didn't care.
               I just wanted him to pound into me.  "Fuck me," I hissed.  "Fuck me hard. .
               .I know you can."

               Angelus began his consistent hard thrusts, causing my body to arch against
               him.  My hands flew to his shoulders, digging my nails into his skin.  I
               could smell the blood that welled in the small holes I'd dug in his
               shoulders.

               I felt ridges against my skin as his demon came forward.  He ran his fangs
               against my breast, snapping at my nipple.  I cried out in pleasure and pain
               when I felt the skin break.  With a growl, his fangs sunk into the underside
               of my breast.

               My entire body tensed.  I could feel his blood and skin underneath my nails.
               My legs tightened around his hips, and his cock was held captive inside of
               me.  "Angelus," I moaned.

               He drank eagerly from me, causing my head to spin.  "Oh goddess. . ." I
               moaned.  "Please. . ."

               I felt his fangs leave my breast as he lapped at the blood escaping from my
               wounds.  He grabbed my hips, pounding furiously into me.  His hand snaked
               between us, and he flicked my clit.

               I screamed his name as I slammed into my orgasm.  My entire world exploded
               and I shuddered violently underneath him.  I don't know what possessed me to
               do what I did next.  I leaned up and sank my blunt teeth in his neck.

               I didn't break skin, but his howl let me know that I had done something
               right.  He exploded inside of me, filling my sex with his seed.  I bit down
               as hard as I could, knowing that he would like it.

               He thrust three more times, his orgasm lasting for what seemed like forever.
               Finally he collapsed against me, burying his now human face in my neck.  At
               least, I didn't feel the ridges on his forehead.  His hand shook as he
               pulled my blindfold off.  I had tears streaming down my face from the
               intensity of our coupling.

               I was amazed at the look in his eyes.  They shone with desire and love.
               "You bit me," he whispered.

               "Are you mad?" I asked softly.

               "No, lover," he purred.  "It was perfect."  He turned, pulling out of me.
               He pulled me into his arms.  "Let's sleep," he murmured.

               I allowed him to wrap me in his arms, pressing my exhausted body against
               his.  He was purring.  It didn't take long for the purrs to sooth me to
               sleep.  As I slipped into the darkness, I had visions of Angelus making love
               to me in my head.
 

~10~

I finally calmed down, sitting on Giles' couch, sniffing ever so often.
"Why do I remember the other past?" I asked softly, looking up at Giles.  "I
mean, if it didn't happen. . .I don't want to remember it."  I stole a
glance at Angelus.  Angelus.  Oh, god, Angelus was here, and Spike was
chipless. . .two dangerous killers, and they are sitting here, in Giles'
apartment, drinking tea.  It was hard for me to grasp the idea that a chance
encounter over a hundred years ago with Willow and Xander could change them
that much.

But then Wills always was special. . .  Xander had his moments too.  "Did. .
.you two continue to kill after they left?" I asked suddenly.

Spike smirked.  "We kill now, Slayer."

My eyes widened and I slipped a stake out of my jacket.  "You do *what*?" I
asked angrily.

"No, no," Angelus purred.  "We mostly kill demons.  We very rarely kill
humans anymore, and the ones we do hurt, deserve it.  However, we do drink
from them."

Giles placed his hand on my arm.  "It's ok, Buffy," he said softly.  "They
really don't hurt anyone."

I was about to argue with Giles, tell him that it didn't matter if they
killed or not.  Hurting a human was wrong, whether they were our friends or
not.  I opened my mouth to argue when I was interrupted.  "Rupert," a soft
voice said from the top of the stairs.  I glanced up, my mouth dropping
open.

"Jenny Calendar," I whispered.  She was *very* pregnant, her hair in a
ponytail.  She had one hand on the banister, and one on the small of her
back.  "Oh, my god, you are alive."

She frowned.  "Calendar?"  She chuckled.  "I haven't been Calendar for. .
.three years.  Buffy, of course I'm alive.  Did you think I died?"

My eyes flew from Jenny to Giles, and back to Jenny.  "You two are married!"

Jenny sat next to her husband.  He wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
"Of course, Buffy.  Are you ok?" she said softly.  She took Giles' hand and
stroked it.

Angelus went to our former computer teacher and kissed her forehead
lovingly.  "Jenny, you look. . ."

". . .Smashing, pet," Spike chuckled.

"Shush, Childe," Angelus swatted at his childe playfully.

Jenny laughed.  "Thank you, Angelus.  Now sit down.  Buffy is disturbed, her
aura isn't right. . ."

I sighed.  "Thank god, at least you are still all magical."  I covered my
face with my hands and sniffed.  Riley patted my back.  My emotions were out
of control, everything was so wrong. . .but apparently it was so much
better.  Could my loving Angel have destroyed so many lives?  "In my past,
after Angel loses the soul and becomes Angelus, he. . .killed Jenny.  She
came here to make sure that Angel and I stayed away from each other, because
she knew of the curse.  If he had one moment of true happiness, he would
lose his soul.  Unfortunately, she hid it from everyone, and we didn't find
out until after he and I slept together, and he started trying to kill us."
I sighed, the pain of the end of my Junior Year dull.  It still hurt, but
not as much.

It was at that moment I realized just how much I loved my normal, nice,
sane, can-be-seen-in-the-sun farm boy.  I looked up at Riley and squeezed
his hand.  "I love you, Riley."

Riley grinned.  "I love you too, Buff."

I turned to Jenny, a sudden question on my mind.  She was staring at Angelus
in horror.  I'd heard Giles softly explain to her that I was remembering a
different past, and apparently, Mrs. Giles was shocked that Angelus would
hurt her.  "Jenny," I said softly, pulling her gaze from the shamed vampire.
That was a shock in itself, seeing shame on Angelus' face.  "Why did you
come to Sunnydale?  Are you a member of the Calderash clan, like you were in
my past?"

Jenny smiled.  "Of course.  Every generation, there is a sister that is
appointed to accompany Angelus and Spike around the world.  It is quite an
honor, actually.  We use our powers to protect them from harm, and
vengeance, and the such."

I frowned.  "Why on earth would you do that?  Follow them, I mean."

"When Darla presented that girl to me," Angelus said softly, "I knew she was
a gypsy.  I remembered Xander's words from twelve years before, telling me
of eating a gypsy and gaining a soul.  I took the girl back to her family,
alive and unharmed.  The family was so overwhelmed with my. . .generosity,
they decided I should be protected."  He shrugged.  "Doesn't bother me, I'm
used to the company now."

"Yea, some chit or another has been following us around for the last hundred
years," Spike grinned.

"Where. . .where is Dru?" I asked.  "I can't imagine you two without her."

Spike looked up at the ceiling, thinking.  "Brazil, I think.  She and the
Chaos Demon are shacking it up in the wilderness.  I constantly ask her what
the bloody hell she could enjoy in the wilderness, but she loves it.  The
stars are plentiful there."  Spike shrugged with a chuckle.  "I think she's
coming to visit next month."

"Yea," Angelus murmured.  "She's planning on being here the 21st.  It's
been. . .what. . .a year since we've seen her?"

"No, I saw her four months ago, when I took Xander to England.  She was
there, remember, Peaches?"

"Oh, yea," Angelus replied.  "I'd forgotten you got to see her there.  It
will be nice to see my favorite childe again."

Spike growled at him, somewhat playfully, I must add.  "Yea, Peaches, if she
's your favorite, how come you've kept me within arm's reach for the last
hundred and twenty-seven years?"

Angelus' laughter was rich and full, completely shocking the hell out of me.
I'd never seen Angel laugh like that, or look that happy.  I found myself
smiling.  I wondered if Angelus ever brooded.  "Because you won't stop
following me, boy!" he replied.

My head was swimming.  Everything was so different, but. . .better.  I knew
that Willow and Xander were probably very happy with Angelus and Spike,
Giles had Jenny, Spike and Angelus got along, and I had Riley.  I loved
Riley.  I looked up at him.  "How long have we been together?"

Riley smiled down at me.  "Beginning of your freshman year of college.  You
dropped a book on my head.  I was your TA.  Willow and Angelus were my
accomplices in getting you to go out with me."

"Are you in. . .the Initiative?  Or is that just in my other world?"

"No, I am," Riley replied.  "Or was.  After Adam. . ."

"They shut the project down.  Did he kill Walsh here too?" I asked.

"Yea," Riley said sadly.  "Spike didn't get his chip, like he told us he'd
gotten in your past.  Of course, you should have seen the shock on my face
when I was tracking two vamps and two humans and they led us right to here.
It all came to a head at that point.  You and I were just starting to date.
Forrest, Graham, and I tracked them here, and you answered the door when we
knocked.  We were expecting a bloodbath, and we end up finding out that you
were the Slayer, and you were in cahoots with two of the most dangerous
vampires in the world."

"Reluctantly, of course," Angelus purred.  "If it weren't for Willow, we
would have killed all of you a long time ago."

I looked at Angelus and saw the truth in his eyes.  And yet, there was
something else.  Concern.  Angelus actually cared about us.  They may have
wanted to kill us at first, but I think over time, they probably had gotten
to where they enjoyed working with us.  I turned back to Riley.

"So that was before the Gentlemen came?" I asked softly.  Apparently, Riley
and I moved a little faster here than we did in my own past, which would
make sense.  I wasn't hurting over Angel in this life, so I could
concentrate on wooing Riley.  He was sitting on the arm of the couch, next
to me.  I sighed softly and put my head on his thigh.  God, I wish Willow
was here.  I wondered if she and Xander would remember the past?  I knew
that a lot of things were probably different here, and it would be nice to
know that I wasn't the only one who could remember a whole life.

"A little before Thanksgiving," Riley said.  "You assured us that these
vamps were working with you, and I convinced Maggie that she didn't need to
hunt them, because it would not be a good thing."

"Can we get Willow and Xander back?" I asked, looking at Jenny.  "We need to
get them back.  They belong here."

"They do go back," Angelus said.  "We helped them too, so apparently all of
us working on this spell is what gets them back."

I sighed.  "We need to hurry.  I need my Wills."  God, did I need to see
Wills.  Too much had happened.   I only hoped that they were being treated
well in the past.
 

~11~

              "Ssspppiiikkkkeeeee. . . ." I hissed.  "Stop teasing. . ."

               He was driving me crazy.  His rock hard cock was pressed against my thigh,
               he was running his fingers up and down my spine, and he was licking my neck,
               where he bit me.  My back was  rippling from his touch.  It was strangely
               erotic; his fingers were so cold, searing through my heated flesh.  I never
               knew that my spine was such an erogenous zone.  Every time his fingers would
               dance against the base of my spine, I would arch my hips against him,
               pressing my semi-hard dick against his thigh.

               We were on our sides, facing each other.  He had his arms wrapped around me,
               holding me close, teasing me to the brink of ecstasy.  I wanted him.  Oh,
               god, I wanted him.  I wanted to taste him, fuck him, be fucked by him, dig
               my nails in his skin, make him bleed, watch his yellow eyes devour me like I
               was meat. . .Any experience I could have with this vampire, I wanted.

               I felt like I was addicted.  I couldn't get enough of his hands on me.  I
               didn't know if it was because I was 20, or because of the past/future time
               spell, or if it was just because it was Spike.  I hoped it was the latter.
               I wouldn't be 20 for the rest of my life, and I was sure I'd make it home
               eventually.

               However, I was starting to wonder why I really wanted to go home. . .

               What did I have in Sunnydale that I couldn't have here?  Well, I *did* have
               Anya, but somehow, I didn't think that Anya would ever make me feel as good
               as Spike did.  I was certain that when I got home, it would be all I could
               do not to attack the blonde and beg him to fuck me for all he was worth.
               Willow was here with me.  I could stay here.  It wouldn't be a problem.  I
               wasn't in school. . .

               And did Buffy *really* need us?  She was the Slayer, and she had Riley. .
               .how much had we really helped this year?  I was always with Anya.  Oh, but.
               . .damn.  Who would Giles have to call him to tell him to turn on the
               television because something horrible was happening?  Yea, apply a generous
               amount of sarcasm to that last line.  I found myself wanting to stay.

               "I want to shag you, pet," Spike's husky voice whispered in my ear.

               I blinked at him, a slight fear entering my veins.  "F. . .Fuck me?  As in.
               . .you know. . .your dick, my ass?  That kind of fuck me?"  Ok, that was a
               terrifying thought.  I was definitely a virgin there, and I didn't know if I
               could handle the. . .pain.

               "Don't worry, pet, it won't hurt once you get used to it," he purred.

               "I. . ." I stammered.  "I don't know, I've never. . . and I don't know if. .
               ."

               His face hardened.  That was a look I was familiar with.  "We won't if you
               don't want to. . ."  He sat up, starting to pull away from me.

               I sat up and grabbed his shoulder, more terrified of him leaving me than of
               him fucking me.  "No," I begged.  "Don't leave me.  I will, just. . .be
               gentle.  I know you can. . ."

               He turned back to me, his face a smile once again.  I decided I liked him a
               lot better when he was smiling, instead of scowling.  He stroked my cheek,
               his lips inches from mine.  His blue eyes danced with joy.  "I'll be so
               gentle, pet, you'll be begging me to fuck you harder."

               I closed my eyes and leaned forward, pressing my lips against his.  We hadn'
               t really kissed yet.  That amused me, that he'd already sucked my dick, but
               we hadn't kissed.  His lips parted and his tongue shot out, brushing against
               my lips, urging mine to open.  I opened my mouth, my tongue slipping out on
               its own accord.  I brushed my tongue against his.  He chuckled and pulled me
               closer to his body, pulling his tongue back in his mouth.  Well, I wasn't
               having any of that, so I plunged in.

               It's a weird sensation, kissing a vampire.  And a man.  I've kissed girls
               before; Anya, Faith, Willow, and there have been others.  Women smelled
               sweet, and they were soft.  But men. . .or at least Spike. . .he had this
               hard, lean body, and smelled of. . .a musky type scent that I couldn't
               identify right off hand.  I liked it though.  It seemed to grow stronger as
               we got more physical.

               On top of the masculinity involved in the kiss, there was the coldness of
               his mouth.  It wasn't too cold, thankfully, but it was much cooler than a
               normal human mouth.  His whole body was.  I really decided that I liked it.

               I ran my tongue over his blunt teeth.  I think subconsciously I was looking
               for the fangs.  Apparently, he knew it, as his canines sharpened.  The
               resulting cut in my tongue wasn't deep, and didn't hurt. I knew it would
               heal pretty quickly.  Spike eagerly swirled his tongue along the top of
               mine, drinking as much of my life as he could get out of the small cut.

               He pushed me back, his hands flat on my chest.  I opened my eyes and looked
               up at him when he pulled away.  He slung his leg over my hips, straddling
               me.  His hard dick was lying against my stomach.  Without even thinking
               about it, I reached up and wrapped my hand around it, stroking it gently.

               He closed his eyes and shuddered.  When they opened again, they were
               *beautiful*.  Midnight blue tinged in gold.  "Spike," I said, my voice a
               huskier than usual.

               "Xander," he purred.  "There are three ways we can go about this, I want to
               know which way you want me."

               I tried to imagine how he could fuck me three different ways, but came up
               with nothing.  The only way I could think of would be for me to be on all
               fours, him behind me.  "How?" I asked softly.

               "Well, I could have you on your hands and knees, shagging you from behind,
               but I don't want to do that.  I want to see your face when you cum for me,"
               he purred.

               I could feel the heat on my cheeks rising at the thought of him enjoying me
               in the middle of my orgasm.  "How else?" I asked.  "Is there any position
               where you can see my face?"

               "Well," he said, "I could shag you like you were a woman. . .you on your
               back, knees up.  Or, you can straddle me and ride my cock."

               I chewed my bottom lip, thinking about it.  "I want you to have the
                control," I said softly.  I looked up at him.

               He smiled.  "I was hoping you'd say that. . .my first time this way was like
               that."

               "Angelus?" I asked.

               "The one and only," Spike smirked.  He stretched out on top of me and
               started kissing my neck softly.

               I shuddered, throwing my head back with a moan.  "Spike. . ." I hissed.  "I
               need you. . ."

               He sat up, grinning at me.  He took a pillow and put it under my hips,
               raising my body up for his worship.  He reached over me to grab something,
               then sat back on his heels between my legs.  I saw what it was that he got.
               It was a small glass bottle of some kind of oil.  I shivered, my body alive
               with fire and fear.  The feeling was intoxicating.  I was scared, yet I was
               so eager. . .

               He poured some of the oil in his hand and then set the bottle to the side.
               He growled softly.  "Put your knees up, pet."

               I automatically pulled my knees up, watching him intently.  I found myself
               wondering how he was going to get his thick cock inside of me.  "Spike. . ."

               He silenced me with a smoldering look.  I quivered, chewing on my bottom
               lip.  He dropped his hand, rubbing the lotion in my crack.  I closed my eyes
               and shivers raced through my body.  I gasped when I felt his finger probe my
               hole.  My body automatically tensed.

               "Pet," he murmured, kissing my knee.  "Relax.  If you stay tense, this will
               hurt."

               Relax.  I had an incredible vampire on his knees in front of me, about to
               fuck me, and he was telling me to relax.  I had no clue how I was going to
               do that.

               "Oh, god. . ." I hissed as I felt the tip of his finger push through my ring
               of muscles.  It wasn't much, but it was enough to cause a little bit of
               pain, and a lot of pleasure.  My eyes fluttered before I finally closed
               them.  "Oh, god.  Relax," I purred.  I took a deep breath and spread my arms
               out, gripping the blanket.  I made my body relax.

               As I relaxed, he slowly thrust that blessed finger into me.  I moaned,
               amazed at all the sensations he was making me feel.  He moved the finger in
               and out, in and out, at a nice slow rhythm.  I could feel myself stretching
               to accommodate him.

               My body arched off the bed when he entered the second finger.  It was almost
               too much, I was completely blinded with passion.  "Spike," I whispered,
               "god, Spike, please. . .I need you. . ."

               "Need me to do what?" his soft voice purred.

               "Fuck me, please," I begged.

               I whimpered when he removed the two fingers.  They were silenced when I felt
               the head of his dick at my entrance.  I mentally told myself to relax.  He
               hooked his arms under my knees, pulling my legs up somewhat.  "Pet?"

               "I'm ready," I whispered, clenching my eyes tighter.

               He eased in, causing me to cry out in pleasure, in pain, in the sheer
               passion of the moment.  He slowly sheathed himself deep inside of me.  I bit
               my bottom lip hard, tears coming to my eyes.  It hurt like hell, and yet it
               was the most gratifying. . .most fulfilling moment of my entire life.

               I dissolved into a thousand moans as he slowly withdrew, then eased back
               into me.  "Spike," I whispered.  "Please. . ."

               He was slow at first, allowing me to stretch to his width.  It was. . .I can
               't even explain how wonderful it was.   I shook my head, gripping the
               blanket tighter.  "Spike, please. . ."

               "What, pet?" he purred, leaning down to run his mouth over my earlobe.

               I shuddered, my rock hard dick between our stomachs.  "Spike, fuck me," I
               hissed.

               He gripped my forearms, my legs still locked with his arms.  He rode me long
               and hard.  I arched against him, digging my nails into the back of his neck.
               I pulled his face to mine and kissed him with reckless abandon.  I've never
               kissed, or been kissed, like we kissed at that moment.  It was filled with
               passion, lust, violence, love. . .everything Spike embodied was in that
               kiss.  Everything I was, everything I had ever hoped to be was in that kiss.

               He was sliding in and out of me now, grunting every time his balls hit my
               ass.  "Xan. . .der. . .Xan. . .der. . ." he purred against my throat.  "I
               need to taste you. . ."

               He was close.  I don't know how I knew, but I did.  I knew that I could have
               exploded at any moment, the friction of our stomachs rubbing just enough
               against my dick.  I threw my head back, exposing my long neck to his face.
               "I need you to taste me," I murmured, gripping his hair and pushing his face
               into my neck.

               I felt him vamp, and then the pricking sensation again.

               I howled, my body pressing against him.  I saw bright pinpoints behind my
               eyes when I exploded.  I felt my cum cover our chests, causing us to rub
               together with a smooth fluidity.  I tightened my body, tensing my muscles
               around his dick.

               He withdrew his fangs with a roar as he exploded, filling me with his seed.
               "Xander," he hissed.  "Oh, Xander. . ."

               I started to tremor, tears running down my cheeks.  He slowly pulled out of
               me, laying his head on my chest.  He let go of my arms and pulled his own
               out from under my legs.  I stretched my legs beside him.  I wrapped my arms
               around him and pulled him closer.  "I love you," I murmured softly.

               He lovingly nuzzled my neck as I fell into a blissful sleep.
 

~12~

                I rolled over, still shivering from the wonderful dream I had.  I can't
                believe I dreamed of Angelus!  I smiled to myself, wanting to call Xander to
                tell him about it.  I reached over to the nightstand to grab my phone, only
                it wasn't there.  I opened my eyes slowly, staring at a white ceiling.  That
                wasn't anything different.

                And then I realized that I was wrapped in satin sheets.  I frowned slightly,
                sitting up.  I gasped.  I was still in my dream!  And then the memories came
                crashing back.  I wasn't in my dream, this was my reality!

                My lip trembled as I thought about everything that happened.  I only prayed
                that I didn't mess up my past too much.

                I slid out of bed and grabbed one of Angelus' poet's shirts.  I put it on
                and walked out of the bedroom, wondering where he was.  As I looked at the
                different objects in his living room, some of which I recognized from his
                apartment in Sunnydale, I didn't feel the presence behind me until she
                spoke.

                "Are you looking for daddy?"

                I spun around, fear filling my body.  It was Drusilla.  I stepped back, my
                hands twisting the shirttail of his shirt.  "Um. .  ." I stuttered.  "I. .
                .well. . ."

                "Don't be scared, Little Tree," she smiled, gliding to me.  "I won't hurt
                you.  Daddy loves you too much."

                I relaxed a bit.  "Where is he?"

                "Daddy?" Dru asked.  "He is off with William, hunting."  She licked her
                lips.  "They promised they would bring me home something special."  She
                smiled.  "I don't know what they are going to bring me, but I always enjoy
                it."

                I sat in the chair beside her.  I was scared, but not terribly.  I didn't
                get the impression she was going to hurt me. . .but then, you never knew
                with Dru.  "Dru, this is. . .bizarre."

                "We have to get you back home."

                I looked up at Dru, shocked.  "You know?"

                "The stars told me a few days ago that we were getting a Little Tree and her
                friend from a land far away.  They told me that I had to tell Daddy and
                Spikey not to hurt you."

                "Thank you."  I said softly.

                "Wills?"

                I glanced up and smiled at Xander.  He looked. . .well, he looked like he'd
                had a wonderful day in bed with the love of his life.  I think he was
                glowing.  "Xander," I smiled, getting up to hug him.  "You look. . ."

                "Thoroughly fucked?" he supplied with a grin.  "I am."  He stepped back,
                looking me over.  "You don't look that bad yourself, hun."

                "Angelus is. . ."  I shuddered at the memories of his hands on my body.

                "Willow, do we have to go home?" Xander asked softly.

                I blinked at him.  I had never thought of staying here, in 1886.  I opened
                my mouth to speak, then shut it.  I frowned.  I really wanted to go home,
                back to Buffy and. . .but then did I really?  Would I want to go back to a
                world where the man I was falling in love with was in love with Buffy?  "I
                don't know, Xander.  We have to think of how much our being here complicates
                the timeline."

                "You need to go home, children," Dru said, "or it will ruin everything."
                She walked over to us and took my hand.  "Daddy and Spikey may love you and
                miss you here and now, but if you don't go home, they will ache horribly in
                the future."

                "Did. . .the stars tell you that?" Xander asked softly.  I could tell he
                wasn't really scared, but there was still a caution.  This was still
                Drusilla.

                "No, Miss Edith did," Dru said.  "She's very wise."

                "Dru," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose.  "I can't get home without
                the spell."

                Dru looked thoughtful.  "Well, we can go where you got the book you did the
                spell from."

                "What?" I asked, trying to figure out what the insane vampire said to me.

                "She said," Xander started, like I was a child, "that we need to get the
                book from wherever you got the book before."

                "That's impossible," I said, frowning.

                "You got the book from a store?" Xander asked, his hope falling.

                "No, it's Angel's," Willow said.  "He let me borrow it before he went to LA.
                But how are we going to get it?  It's not like I can go to Angel and say,
                'Hey, I need this. . .' "  My eyes widened.  What if. . .what if Angelus had
                the book?  I knew it was pretty old. . .

                Xander's wide eyes met my own and I knew that we were thinking the same
                thing.  We rushed to the bookshelves and started looking for it.  "What
                color is it?" Xander asked.

                My eyes scanned the familiar books.  Angel had a thing for old books, some
                of which he had for over two centuries.  I ran my fingers down the intricate
                leather spine of one of them.  "Tan, light brown leather.  Says 'Spells' on
                the front in gold."

                "That doesn't sound familiar," Dru said softly as she joined us and tried to
                help us find the book.  It didn't turn up.

                "Damn it!" I cried, tears filling my eyes.  We were *so* close.

                "What's wrong, Kitten?"

                I turned, and saw Angelus and Spike standing there grinning at me.  I threw
                myself at Angelus, wrapping my arms around his neck.  I sobbed against his
                neck.  "I want to go home," I sobbed.  I did.  All of the sudden, the feel
                of my own bed, seeing my friends smile, knowing that we lived on the
                Hellmouth with all kinds of demons and other evil things. . .I wanted to be
                there.

                Angelus pulled away with an angry look on his face.  "What, you don't want
                to stay here with me?"  His eyes were flashing yellow at me.  For the first
                time since we met the night before and he made me feel at ease, I was
                terrified of him.

                "No, Angelus. . .It's not that. . ." I whimpered in fear, trying to get out
                of his arms.

                "Daddy," Dru purred, putting her hand on his arm.  "If we keep our Little
                Tree, then you will be unhappy in the future.  Spikey and I will keep you
                company until you can have her again."  She batted her eyes at him, trying
                to get him to agree.

                Angelus' rough features smoothed out.  "Fine, Dru."  He turned to me, a look
                of resignation in his eyes.  "What do you need?"

                I started to explain the book to him.  He frowned.  "That's odd," he said,
                reaching into his bag.

                "What?" I asked softly.

                "The couple we killed tonight, they had this book on them.  For some reason,
                I wanted it.  Spike said none of the spells really looked like anything he
                was interested in, and we should just throw it down, but for some reason. .
                ."  He pulled out the book.

                My heart started beating faster.  "This is it," I whispered.  "This is the
                book."  I looked up at him, tears filling my eyes.  "Thank you."

                Dru and I busied ourselves, getting ready for the spell.  Xander was talking
                to Spike, telling him other things that he wanted the vampire to know.  I
                chuckled when I heard Xander's way of getting Spike to seduce him in the
                future.  "See, when you find me, when Buffy comes to town. . .you two will
                be waiting, won't you?"  Xander glanced at Angelus, then turned back to
                Spike.

                "Sire and I talked about that.  We figured we would catch you the summer
                before the Slayer shows up.  If you trust us, she will have no choice but to
                trust us," Spike said.  He frowned.  "What year did she come?"

                "1996," Xander responded.  "Anyway, when you meet me, I'm very much in love
                with women."

                "Girls," I shot at him.  He threw me a look.

                "Anyway, if you start telling me you want me, I'm going to completely freak.
                So. . ."  He thought about it.  "I don't know what to tell you to do to get
                me past that apprehension I have."

                I shrugged.  "Just kiss him.  Sparks will fly."  My eyebrows came together
                in thought.  "Oh, that's going to suck for me though, because I'm in love
                with him in '96."

                Xander looked over at me, a sad look on his face.  "I'm sorry I hurt you so
                long, Wills," he said softly.

                I shrugged.  "It's cool.  We are better than ever, and I have Angelus," I
                purred.  I turned to my lover.  "You are just going to have to sweep me off
                my feet.  Show me what a real man can do, not a little boy."

                Angelus' laughter was rich.  "I will be sure to do that, my love."  He ran
                his fingers on my cheek.  I sighed and leaned into his touch.

                "We should go," I murmured, closing my eyes, "or we will never leave.  Miss
                Edith says we have to go."  I opened my tear filled eyes.  "I don't want to
                leave you."

                "But I will be there when you get to your time," he purred.  "I'm the one
                who has to live for the next century without you."  He frowned.  "Are you
                sure you can't stay?"

                "They can't, daddy," Dru pouted.  "Miss Edith says it will mess everything
                up, and you won't have your little tree if she stays."

                Angelus pushed me away gently.  "I can't touch you anymore.  If I do, I won'
                t let you go."

                "I love you," I said, surprising myself.

                He smiled and said, "I love you too, Willow."

                "Wills," Xander whined.  I glanced over at him.  Spike was running his
                fingers through Xander's hair, nibbling on his ear.  "Are you *sure* we have
                to go home right now?"

                "Yes," I said with enthusiasm I didn't feel.  "If we stay longer, we won't
                go home.  We won't be able to make ourselves."

                "Ok, let's do it now then," Xander said, pulling away from Spike.  "Come on,
                Spike, let's get this show going."

                We gathered in a circle and started the spell.  My eyes met Angelus' over
                the bowl of liquid.  "I love you," I mouthed.

                He smiled.  "I love you," he mouthed back.

                There was a flash of light, and then my world went black, once again.
 

~13~

I gasped as the flash of light blinded us.  The power of the spell knocked
us all back.  I sat up and blinked my eyes a few times and tried to get my
vision back.  < Please let this have worked, > I thought.

Angelus and Spike had gone to the house the four of them shared and found
the book Willow had performed the spell out of.  They brought it back to
Giles' and we decided now was as good of a time as any to get them back.
Angelus and Spike were getting kind of antsy without them being there.
Giles got all the ingredients and Jenny changed a few words, and then we did
the spell.

I opened my eyes and grinned.  Willow and Xander were sitting there, holding
each other, and looking shell-shocked.  "GUYS!" I squealed.  I jumped up and
ran to them, hugging them both tightly.

"Buffy!" they both exclaimed, hugging me back.

Willow glanced around, as if she were looking for someone.  Her face fell
when she didn't see what she was looking for.  I turned my head, looking at
everyone in confusion.  Who was she looking for?  Then I realized Angelus
wasn't in visible sight.  She must have thought. . .what did she think?
"Wills?  What past do you remember?"

Willow opened her mouth to answer, then shut it with a frown.  "That's odd,"
she said quietly.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Spike had walked to Xander and
hauled him up by his collar.  "S. . .Spike?" Xander said, trembling in fear.

"I should kill you," Spike hissed.

"What?  Why?" Xander asked.  I could almost hear my best friend's heart
breaking.  It was as if they both remembered the past *I* remembered!  As if
Xander were hoping that this Spike was the one that loved him, not the one
that we all knew and hated.

"Because you went and did a fool thing like cast a bloody spell that could
have taken you away from me!" Spike exploded.

"What?" Xander asked, confused.

"Always let Jenny, Giles, or Angelus be there if you want to go cast a
spell.  You are lucky that I was so head over heels about you back then and
didn't just eat you."  Spike pulled a confused Xander against him and kissed
him roughly.

I blinked.  "Wow.  That's. . ."  I cleared my throat.  "Some kind of
fireworks they have going there.  I never would have imagined. . ."  I
sighed, turning back to Willow.  "Willow, what past do you remember?"

"Both of them," she said softly.  "I remember the dark broody cryptic
vampire you fell in love with, and I remember the deliciously evil vampires
that came the summer before you started school with us and seduced me and
Xander."

Tears filled my eyes.  "I don't even remember that timeline, just the dark
broody cryptic vampire one."

"Oh, goddess," Willow whispered, hugging me.

Willow was always a true friend.  She was more concerned with me than she
was with the fact that she still hadn't seen Angelus.  I could tell that she
was aching for him.  I pulled away, sniffing.  "Angelus," I said loudly.  "I
have a redhead here that needs you."

I giggled when I saw yellow eyes peak out from behind the couch.  "Damn,
that blast was brutal," he hissed, standing up.

Willow's eyes traveled up his leather-clad body with a smile.  "A. .
.Angelus?"

The vampire grinned at her.  "I'm certainly not a wussy vampire with a soul,
babe."

My heart hurt.  He never had the soul.  He never loved me.  Even though I
had moved on, there was still a part of my heart that belonged to Angel, and
always would.  I sighed dejectedly.

Willow jumped up and ran to her lover's arms.  Yet again, more fireworks.  I
tilted my head, watching them.  Angel and I had fireworks, I have to admit,
but Angelus and Willow. . .they set the room on fire.  I glanced back at
Xander and Spike.  Xander had his forehead against Spike's and was breathing
hard. "Wait, wait," Xander was saying, "need to take a couple of breaths,
then more kiss. . ."  Spike cut him off, kissing him with reckless abandon.
Damn, Blondie had it bad.

"Buffy," Jenny said gently, placing her arm on mine.

I looked up at her, tears in my eyes.  "Yea?"

"I think we figured it out, and we can fix it."

That got my attention.  "Really?"

"Er. . ." Giles started.  "For some reason, you being the Slayer has caused
your memories of the other past to remain.  But Jenny has a spell that can
fix that. . ."

"I think."  She looked at me.  "Would you rather remember Angel, or never
know he existed?"

I turned back, looking at Willow and Angelus.  He was running his fingertips
on her face, looking happier than I'd ever seen him.  I looked down, then up
at Jenny.  "As much as it hurts to think that I have to give him up
completely, I. . .I would rather know that Angel never existed."

"I was hoping you'd say that," Jenny said softly.  She looked at the
couples.  "Willow, Xander?  What do you two remember?  About the past four
years, I mean?"

Willow and Xander pulled away from their vampire lovers and looked at each
other, then us.  "Both timelines," Willow said.

"Yea, I remember dating Cordy and Anya, and I also remember being with Spike
for four years," Xander replied.

"Do you want to forget about the other timeline?" Jenny asked.  "We have to
restore Buffy's memories, and we can erase yours, if you want. . ."

They looked at each other with a smile.  "No," Willow answered her.  "It
makes it kind of special, that Xander and I shared something no one else
knows.  Besides, a lot of important stuff happened to us in that line that
didn't happen here, and it might help us in the future."

"Ok," Jenny said.  "Come on, Buffy."

*~*~*~*

I had the strangest dream during the spell.  Jenny was there, and she was
telling me I needed to decide.  "Between what and what?" I asked her.

She turned, and I saw Angel and Angelus.  "I have to choose between them?
How can I?  You know I'm going to choose Angel.  He was the love of my
life."  I looked to Jenny for help.  She shook her head no, saying she
couldn't help.  I turned back to the men.  "How can I choose?"

"Choose me," Angelus said.  "I'm there anyway, and if you don't, then you
won't know. . .really know true happiness.  Ever."

"He's right," Angel said softly.  "You will always be miserable that in your
heart, I was there, but in reality, I wasn't.  I will always haunt you."

"And I'm not leaving Willow," Angelus continued.  "That will kill you a
little each time you see me take her in my arms."

I sighed.  "Fine.  Angelus.  I choose Angelus."

*~*~*~*

I opened my eyes and blinked a few times.  "Riley," I whispered, reaching
out for him.

"I'm here, baby," he said, taking my hand.  "How do you feel?"

I sat up.  "My head hurts."  I chuckled.  "I feel fine other than that.  Did
Willow and Xander make it back ok?"

"Yea," Riley said carefully.  "So, do you remember. . .Angel?"

"Who?" I asked, looking at him with a frown.  "Who the hell is Angel?"  I
narrowed my eyes.  "You aren't seeing some chick behind my back, are you?
Do I have to hurt you?  I can, you know.  I'm the Slayer."

Riley smiled.  "I love you, Buffy."  He hugged me.

I hugged him back, then pushed away.  "Wait, wait, who's Angel?"

Willow stepped forward and kneeled in front of me.  "Angel's Angelus, with a
soul."

I frowned deeper, if that were possible.  "But Wills.  Vamps don't have
souls.  You know that, and I know that.  Are you crazy?  Did your trip back
in time damage you?"  I started looking on her head for any bruises, bumps
or cuts.

She took my hand away from her head and pulled me up.  I shook my head and
glanced over at Angelus.  I hissed playfully.  He grinned.  "So, Slayer, up
for sparring later?"

I chuckled.  "Only if you tell that childe of yours that he has to play
too."  Angelus and Spike were the best people to spar with.  They helped me
learn how to fight.  I could beat up on them and they wouldn't get hurt from
it.  I turned back to Willow.  "Now what is this you are babbling about
Angelus with a so. . ."  I frowned, as the memories from the last few
minutes came rushing back.  I was so upset because. . .I was in love with
Angel, who was Angelus with a soul?  "Oh my god!" I shuddered.

"What?" Willow asked alarmed.

"I was in love with a vampire in the other timeline?  Oh, god!  How stupid
is *that*?  I'm a Slayer, for Christ's Sake!  I'm supposed to be killing
them, not *sleeping* with them."  I shuddered at the thought.  "No offence,
Angelus, really, but you are *so* not my type.  You know, fangs, evil
tendencies, that kinda turns me off."  I shuddered again and wrapped my arms
around Riley.  "Now this is a man to love.  Nice normal
can-be-seen-in-the-sun farm boy."

Riley kissed the top of my head.  "I'm glad you are back to normal, Buff."

"Me too," I said.  I smiled, looking over my group of friends.  Giles had
his arm around Jenny's shoulders, Angelus was raining small kisses all over
Willow's face, and Spike and Xander. . .well, I saw Xander disappear as his
impatient lover drug him into the bathroom.  I swear, those two. . .I would
find them together in the oddest places.

We were happy.  Life was good.  We were together, and all of us were where
we belonged.

END.

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