Disclaimer: Joss and Mutant Enemy own the Characters.
Rating: R
Summary: Willow writes her thoughts down.
Distribution: NPWFLD, Willow's Angel, Seren's place. Anyone just ask
Feedback: If you want but you don't have too, I do live for it.
Author's Notes: Willow has been in my head she needs to get out. Also Angelus likes when I toy around with the characters and others On With the show.
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Willow closes the door to her bedroom and sighs. It has been a ruff twenty four hours. She told Angel the truth and she can't get over that he still wants her to be in his life. She walks over to her bed, flopping down on it her back gives a little protest. Willow climbs up to the headboard and situates herself until she is comfortable going into her drawer she pulled out her dairy.
"Where to start?" retrieving a pen she begins to write.
Dear Dairy.
Well its been a couple of months since I wrote to you. I decided to start again. So much as happened I can't write it all down nor can I explain it all. I will give you a short version, I did a spell and ended up back when Angel was alive. Really alive, warm, breathing that kind of alive. I fell in love with him, who wouldn't. He was a real charmer, he knew it too. The one thing that I can't get passed is that he fell in love with me also. Who would have thought me, Willow Rosenburg, would catch the heart of Angelus O'Bryan. It was all great from there. I met his family, oh...his little brother Andrew was an Angel with devil's horns. I could have seen that boy grow up and marry, he would have made a fine husband some day...If I could have stopped what I tried so damn hard to stop...but lost. Now if I were Buffy I would have beat Darla. Then I would have been happy with Angel and our children. I said children that is right.
Our children, Angel's and mine. I can't believe it...twins. I love them with all my heart, even though their not here yet. Wonder what they would look like? What are they a boy or a girl. I didn't tell anyone, but I have names picked out already. I don't care what anyone tell me. They are my children I get to name at least one. Either way I am going to name one William. I know I am going to at least have one boy. I have chosen William because of Spike. He has been there for me. I don't know why, he is evil but he is different from Angel's demon. I don't know if its because Dru made him or if he still holds some reminisce of his humanity. I can see it in his eyes, what he does for me is out of compassion. Spike is becoming one of my closest friends.
Speaking of friends, Buff and the others have no clue what is going on. Buffy is so worried about Angel and her relationship its taking her over. Do I sound jealous, well yes I do, damn it he is my husband. I love him, I can't admit that to him because I want him to figure out who he wants.
Like I told him earlier, I don't want him around because he feels obligated to be there. He says that he doesn't feel that way. But still, I want him to have a clear mine like he had before when I fell in love with him. Another thing is Buffy is so into getting ready for the prom that she hasn't even came over to see her best friend. I know I am being selfish but still...I was always there for her. Friendship is 50/50. Not whenever she needs me, I come running.....
Giles, I can only imagine when he finds out. He would want to research on how and why they came back with me. Giles would want to know everything
so he could write it down so other watchers could read. Sure, like I would divulge my sex life to Giles. I can't even think about it without getting all flustered.
Angel was such a passionate lover, sometimes when I sleep I can still feel his caress. The way he held me with such tenderness it was unbelievable. Trust me on that one, we had plenty of fun, stealing away stolen moments. Well not moments hours, when we were together it was like magic, he was
made only to fit into me, and I was gloved to fit him. I dream about him all the time. The dreams are so vivid I can actually feel him on top of me stroking me with long thrusts. I can hear his gasps of pleasure, see the love in his eyes when we complete each other.
"Oh...." She smiles and pats her protruding stomach. Willow smiles and starts to write again.
You will never just what happened. I felt movement. I can't believe it. Goddess I wish Angel were here. I wonder what he would have done. But I felt them move a minute ago. It was so amazing it felt like a little flutter in my stomach, but it was them.
When I first seen them on the ultra sound I started to cry. My heart was just filled with so much unconditional love I thought I was going to burst. Amy was amazed because of the two little children growing inside of me. Spike, yes Spike was there, he acted true to his century. I still giggle when I remember the look on his face. It was classic, his face literally dropped. Speaking of Spike I asked if I could talk to him about Angel. It took allot of debating but I finally got him to submit. So we are going to have a little talk when he gets back from walking Amy home. I asked him if it could be private I know Amy understand. He is the only one that could help me sort out everything dealing with Angel. He known him the longest out of any of us.
But the one thing that I know that I don't have to sort out is that I love my Angel. That is never going to change...he will be the keeper of my heart till the end of time.
"Willow!"
"I'll be right down Spike." She gets off the bed and walks out of the room never hearing the person walk threw her french doors.
The End