TITLE: Break On Through (1/?)

AUTHOR: Tisienne Blue

E-MAIL: tisatko@msn.com

DISCLAIMER: This is Joss' sandbox... I'm just playing in it...

PAIRING: Aus/W; S/B (kind of, but not really... well, Ok, really, but not seriously... well... you'll see...)

RATING: R-ish, I suppose...

SPOILERS: up to 'Reunion' for Angel; nothing much for Buffy at all!!!

DISTRIBUTION: Charity can have it if she wants... anyone with other fic of mine can take it... otherwise, just ask.

FEEDBACK: I suppose...

NOTES: OK, so I was watching 'Reunion', and found myself wondering why the King of Brood would suddenly be acting more Angelus-y than is his usual wont... it can't be just the
whole Darla thing, so... here's what my twisted little mind came up with!!! This starts at the end of the ep, and goes directly into my little world!!! Oh, * *= emphasis...

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He looked at them, the three of them, for a moment, trying to appear thoughtful. "You're all fired." He stood, ignoring the shock and anger in their eyes, and walked out of the office, moving neither slowly nor quickly... as though it were just another day, and he'd told them that he was going upstairs to sleep. He ignored their shouted words, continuing towards the stairs, until a small, warm hand took hold of his arm. "Leave!" he snarled, wearing the face of his demon, "Leave *now*!" His golden eyes swept past the girl who was his Seer, focusing on the other two. "*All* of you. You're not welcome here." He shook off the hand on his arm and proceeded up the stairs, acting for all the world as if he were already alone.

He entered his room in the big, drafty hotel, shutting and locking the door behind him before finally sitting on the edge of his bed and kicking off his shoes, his head in his hands. He hated the things he was having to do, but they were necessary. He'd been over and over everything with a fine-toothed comb, and there was no other way... No, if he was going to succeed in bringing Wolfram & Hart down forever, he was going to have to make them believe that he was slowly losing it... his *soul*... that he was giving in to the darkness within him, moment by moment. They wanted him *dark*, not dead... and he was taking advantage of that fact, even though it had meant leaving that room full of people (evil people, but people none the less) to the not-so-tender mercies of Darla and Druscilla. And though he tried to ignore it, there was a part of him that envied the two vampires... a part that remembered fondly what it had been like to have them... humans... at his mercy, begging for life... and finally, begging for death.

Oh, yes, he remembered it well! The smell of them when they first realized that for all the dangers of the mortal world, *he* was something much worse... something they'd thought of as only a story, meant to scare children... the sound of their hearts racing a mile a minute in fear, and then pain, and then, finally... despair... the taste of the thick, rich blood, flavoured differently for each of them by the lives they had led... the feel of their struggles slowly dying out... and finally, almost every time, the acceptance. Oh, yes, he remembered... he had been a God in those days.

He slowly straightened, wiping the tears from his face, and was surprised to find that he wasn't sure of exactly why he'd been crying... He didn't know, right then, whether it was for what he'd had to do that night... or for what he'd lost in his quest for redemption. Sighing softly, he reached a trembling hand for the phone and dialed the number he'd memorized almost a year earlier, when he'd realized that he needed help, and had called on the smartest person he knew. He waited, almost impatiently, for the line to be answered on the other end. Finally, "Willow... it's done." He couldn't keep the anguish from his voice as he said those words to the redhead beck in Sunnydale. She was the sweetest, kindest soul he'd ever known,
and even though it had been her idea to let something like what he'd just allowed... happen... he knew that it would be tearing her up inside, even more than it was him... of course, it would have to be, since, oddly enough, he wasn't even half as upset as he'd thought he'd be. He listened to her sob before she took hold of herself, and when she asked, he told her exactly what he'd done... or more accurately, had *not* done.

He sighed in relief when she finally told him that he'd done the right thing... that it had been the best way to get Wesley, Cordelia, and Gunn out of harm's way, *and* that it would show the law firm that his soul was slowly losing the fight with his demon. She reminded him of everything he'd *already* done, up to and including taking that lawyer's hand, and told him to stay strong... that the things he was doing were necessary... imperative, if they were going to bring that bloody evil law firm down for good.

Finally, after quite a while, they said their goodbyes, and he hung up the phone, feeling a good bit better. Yes, he had let his crazed childe, and his former Sire, who was now his... grand childe?... whatever... He'd let them feast on a room full of humans, but as Willow had said, they weren't really human anymore... they had sold their souls to the darkness in return for money, or respect, or maybe just a place in the world... She was right when she'd said that they deserved to die... he was doing the world a favour, really...

He stood, slowly removing his shirt and pants, before crawling tiredly into bed, wearing only his socks. He pulled the covers up over his chest and switched off the light, thinking about the redheaded witch who was helping him more than she knew... he thought about her every night. She was smart, and *good*... the best person he'd ever met, in all his years on the earth, and he would follow her plan to the letter... even more so now that he realized... he'd loved the little witch for months.

He smiled into the darkness. He would earn his redemption, *and* his reward, and then... well, then he would pursue his Willow, for as long as it took... he would chase her as hard as he had to... until *she* caught *him*! His eyelids fluttered shut, as visions of him... and her... and their children, playing in the sun, danced through his head... he deliberately chose to ignore the waves of amusement flowing from the corner of his being where he kept the demon caged as he slipped down into sleep.

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Willow hung up the phone, and looked questioningly at her companion. "So? How'd I do?"

"I don't know what's gotten into you, pet, but that was just... bloody *brilliant*!" Spike shook his head in admiration, the last year having given him a brand new respect for the girl. "You actually have him believing that it's OK to let 'bad' humans die!" He chuckled, fascinated by the darkness in the formerly sweet and innocent girl. "You're a jewel, pet... a bright, shining *diamond* of a girl!"

Willow giggled softly, pulling the blond vamp into a hard hug. "You know *exactly* what's gotten into me, Spike! It was that spell I did with Tara last year!" She giggled again, pulling away from his grasping hands. "Who'd have thought that a human could live without a soul?" she said happily. "I mean, I, for one, always thought that souls were what kept us *alive*, but... we did the spell, she went *poof*, and now it's just little old soul-less me... Oh, soul-less mee-o..." she warbled, slightly off key, "Oh, soul-less meeee..."

Spike laughed at her antics, and pulled her against him once again. "Y'know, I *like* you like this, Red... what say you and I go and..." He thrust himself against her, letting her feel his hardness through his jeans... *and* her skirt.

The redhead smirked, rubbing herself against him for a moment before pulling away. "Now, Spike..." she crooned, "You *know* I'm holding out for your Sire... and at the rate I'm corrupting Angel, *he* should be back in less than a month! Besides, don't you have a skanky little *bitch* to shag?" She grinned when he rolled his eyes. "How's that going, by the way?"

The blond sighed, leaning against the wall. "Oh, dear *Buffy*..." His lips twisted into a malicious grin. "In one night, I've taught her to do things, without batting an eye, that I'd hesitate to ask of a two dollar whore... and she *let* me! Of course, it's all because Captain Cardboard left, but *still*... She's probably thinking that she lost Angel for good because she wouldn't let him... well, never mind..." The malice slipped away as the smile became a bit more pronounced. "I'd be more than happy to teach you the same, Red... but then again, compared to Angelus, I'm an amateur." He pushed off from the wall, his eyes raking over her small form. "And *he's* gonna make you *scream*, pet..." he sighed wistfully, "I just hope I'm there to hear it..." He kissed her softly on the cheek, and headed for the door. "And yeah, you're right, I *do* have a bitchy little blonde bint to shag..."

Willow stood by, holding the door for him. "Well, happy fucking!" she cried perkily after his retreating back. She smiled to herself as she barely caught his reply, and shut the door. "Me, too, indeed, blondie..." she said to herself. "You hope you're there to hear Angelus make me scream? Ha!... *I* hope you're there to *watch* it!" She giggled at the image in her head of Spike, chained to a chair, watching as Angelus pounded into her every orifice repeatedly... the poor blond bastard didn't know the *meaning* of the word 'torment'... but he'd learn... Her lips twisted into a completely evil smile as she climbed the stairs and entered her bedroom. She stripped herself of her skirt and tank top, crawling naked under the covers. Oh,
yes... he'd *learn*...

End-- Pt 1

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