SEQUEL TO: Nobody's Diary
AUTHOR: Tisienne Blue
E-MAIL: tisatko@msn.com
DISCLAIMER: I am not Joss Whedon... I am ALSO not David Greenwalt. I own nothing and nobody in the Buffyverse. Robert Smith and the Cure own the title and the lyrics to 'Boys Don't Cry'.
RATING: R-ish.
PAIRING: GUESS!!!
DISTRIBUTION: the usual suspects... otherwise, ask!!! (and yes, I DO still love you, Charity and Jen:)... I'm just tired of typing your names!!!*teehee*)
FEEDBACK: is my friend...
DEDICATIONS: to: Alison Moyet and Yazoo, for not suing me (I hope) for using their lyrics in 'Nobody's Diary... to Robert Smith and the Cure, for the song that inspired this... and to those purists out there, I know I've re-ordered the lyrics, but... I'm working from memory here, and I haven't actually heard this song since 1991 or thereabouts, so... don't shoot me, okay??? Also, to Susi, Angel S., and Eva, for saying they liked Nobody's Diary... Thanks, luvs!!!
NOTES: Okay, so this is not based on a Yazoo song... sue me. (Not really an invitation, just... why would you???) But this IS what happened next, in MY mind, anyway!!!*VBG*
MORE NOTES: Okay, * *= emphasis, and // // encloses lyrics.
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He'd been sure, when he'd memorized her tag number, that he'd be able to find her without much trouble... unfortunately, he'd been wrong.
The license plate on her car had led him to nothing but an empty lot, which was devoid of anything but a mailbox.
His mind had whirled with the whole concept that she'd gone to so much effort to be... untraceable... unlocatable... but a small part of him understood.
That small part didn't stop him from writing to her at that address, though... and it also didn't stop him from sitting curbside and seeing what happened to the mail that was sent to her there.
// Well... I would say I'm sorry if I thought that it would change your mind...
But I know that this time I have said too much; been too unkind...
I try to laugh about it, cover it all up with lies...
I try to laugh about it, hiding the tears in my eyes, 'cause...
Boys don't cry... //
He watched as the woman who lived across the street from the vacant lot collected the mail, and he sighed when he realized that he'd never get any information from her. It was obvious to him, and based solely upon the protective look she'd acquired when she'd opened that small, metal cube that defined his future. He stayed as the sun rose, glad for the tinted windows in his car.
// I would tell you that I love you, if I thought that you would stay...
But I know that it's no use and you've already gone away... //
He was more lively than usual for a week or so, mostly because he knew that his employees had scheduled coinciding vacations. He'd finally have the chance-- and the *time*-- to see where the trail led him. He could stop pretending that everything was fine, and just... do what he had to do, without worrying about showing just how much her leaving *had* affected him. But first, he had to *find* her.
// Mis-judged your limits...
Pushed you too far...
Took you for granted...
Not that you didn't remark... //
It had been fairly simple. All he'd needed to do was call David Nabbit, and promise that they'd hang out sometime soon, and... he'd had the smallest transmitter ever made, sealed in an envelope addressed to his light, his life, his love... All *he* had to do was follow the blinking light on the hand-held unit... and when it disappeared from the screen, heading north, he followed, neither stopping nor slowing until the red glow began flashing again, and... he'd found her!
// I would do most anything...
To get you back by my side...
But I just keep on laughing...
Hiding the tears in my eyes... //
He felt a strange lurching within his chest as he got out of his car and approached the small, well-lit house just outside San Francisco. His nostrils flared as he caught a somewhat familiar scent, but... he chose not to think about it too much, and he slowly, stealthily, stepped up on to the porch, his eyes drawn to the small crack in the curtains.
His un-beating heart swelled with anger, and that anger was swiftly followed by hatred when he saw just who was sitting there with her, in her living room. "He hasn't hurt her enough?" he asked himself, rhetorically. But obviously, she felt differently, because... she was sitting there beside him on the couch, and she actually looked... *happy*!
He could feel the growl beginning deep in his chest, and tried desperately to contain it, but... somehow, just the thought that she might be involved with the wolf again made him completely... livid. His demon was screaming at him to just... break down the door and tear the bastard's head from his slumping shoulders, but... he hadn't been invited, and a moment later, when the dark haired young woman walked in from a room he couldn't see, he was glad, because... She sat down very close to Oz, and pressed the mug she'd been carrying into his hand. And the small, tender kiss the two shared then announced their situation better than words ever could.
// Well, I would break down at your feet...
And beg forgiveness, plead with you...
But I know that isn't the way...
And now there's nothing I can do... //
He stood there, eye pressed to the glass, and watched his girl through the small break in the curtains for a few more minutes, his dead heart almost beating just because he was finally *seeing* her again.
She hadn't forgiven him, he knew, not yet, but... she would. He would explain why he'd said the things he did, why he'd let her just... walk away from him, and... he'd tell her why he'd changed his mind about it all. And she'd forgive him... eventually.
It might take a long time, but... even if it took years, he'd still wait, because to live in eternity without her...? He shuddered. It was unthinkable.
He forced himself away from the window, and slowly approached the front door, his hand rising before him to rest lightly on the wood. This was the part he hated, he decided. This desperate moment of uncertainty... anything could happen, and there was only one thing that would be acceptable to him, and... he somehow doubted that that would happen. Much as he wanted her to just... open the door and fall into his arms, he didn't really see it... not yet.
But she *would* have him back, he vowed silently, as he knocked tentatively on the blue painted door... she'd have him back someday, and... he'd never let her go again.
// I tried to laugh about it...
Cover it all up with lies...
I tried to laugh about it,
Hiding the tears in my eyes...
'Cause boys don't cry...
Boys... don't... cry... //
He waited anxiously for the door to be opened, and when it was, he only stared the short, currently purple-haired werewolf, not sure of what to say. "I..." he started, only to be cut off by the much younger man.
"Deborah," Oz called out, not really much louder than normal, "It's time for us to go." He lowered his voice to almost a whisper, and stared up into Angel's brown eyes. "She loves you," he said, his eyes calculating what he thought he saw in the vampire's, "And I don't know what you did to her, but... Fix it, Angel." His expression hardened then, and his next words were entirely sincere. "Fix whatever it was that you did, and don't you *dare* to hurt her any more... Or I'll kill you myself, and apologize to her later." He glanced down at his blue fingernails, and continued almost disinterestedly, "*I* think she'd forgive me."
Angel sighed, wondering if he really *could* make things better, but... he was for damned sure going to *try*. It amazed him that this small, weak human in front of him could threaten him and *mean* it, but... he believed him. And when Oz looked back into his face, he almost gasped at the cold intent he could see shining in the wolfling's eyes, and suddenly he understood how the usually placid young man had come to terms with his other nature. He nodded slowly. "I'll try, Oz," he said quietly, his eyes showing his own sincerity, "I... I love her, too." He nodded again, in greeting this time, when the wolf's mate approached them. "Congratulations." he said to them both.
Oz smiled slightly, his arm wrapping around his woman's waist. "Thanks," he said for the both of them, then "Come in, Angel." He stepped aside, allowing the vampire to enter the house, and moved through the door, taking his woman with him. "Good luck," he said softly, glancing over his shoulder.
He nodded his good-byes to the couple, and closed the door before moving to the living room. His eyes flew from corner to corner, looking for her, and found her when she gasped from the kitchen doorway.
He walked slowly towards her, as though in a daze, his eyes filling with cool, salty tears, and... when he was finally, finally right in front of her... He fell to his knees, his arms wrapping tightly around her hips as his head came to rest against her abdomen. "I'm... I'm so sorry, my love... so sorry... so sorry..." It was all he seemed able to say, and it became an almost mindless litany as he sobbed great, wrenching sobs against her.
// Boys... don't... cry...
Boys don't cry... //
End.