&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*
Part 5
"I don't *know*, Wesley!" the vampire practically shouted. "I was *asleep*! Why don't *you* tell *me* how it's possible?!" He was pacing small angry circles on the rug in the former watcher's office, well aware that his fury was only there to mask the guilt and horror he felt at abusing the young witch so badly. "I didn't do anything different than what *Tara* did, so I don't understand how what happened in the dream world could have happened in reality, too!" And indeed, that was the point his mind kept getting hung up on. How *had* it happened? He'd watched the blonde, and all *she'd* done had been to lay down beside Willow and go to sleep for a bit. She hadn't moved, or even mumbled in her rest! No, she'd laid entirely still, until she'd woken up glaring daggers at him. He sighed, the guilt sneaking out and smacking him full-on. "How could I have *done* that to her?" he said, mostly to himself, as he collapsed onto the couch.
Wesley sighed, himself. "Very good questions, all, Angel, but I think you're missing the most important one. Why do you still have your soul?" That was the one *he'd* been wondering about ever since Cordelia had come running down the stairs shouting that Angelus was back. Her reaction had been entirely understandable, and it had taken a good bit of time for Angel to convince them otherwise. Now, Wesley was curious.
Angel waved the question aside, dismissing it out of hand. "I didn't lose it with Darla, either," he said, not really paying attention to the fact that he was speaking out loud, "So I guess it wasn't complete and utter happiness..." He didn't even realize that he *had* spoken until his nominal boss's reaction shocked him from his thoughts.
"*You* *slept* *with* *Darla*!?" the former watcher shouted, eyes wide. "You *slept* with *Darla*!" He glared dangerously at the somehow still-souled vampire across the room. "And you didn't think that was something you should share with the people who were trying to help you *kill* her. Way to be part of the *team*, Angel!"
"Okay, Wesley," Angel broke in, "You're over-reacting, here. I wasn't working with you guys at the time, and..."
"Over-reacting..." the man echoed angrily, "You think I'm over-reacting. That's *priceless*. You go and sleep with our enemy-- the one who's tried repeatedly to make you evil again-- and *I'm* *over-reacting*! Why didn't you just..."
"*Wes*!" he interrupted again, "Maybe you're right. *Maybe*!" he repeated, when the man would have argued, "But none of that is helping with the situation we've got going on right *now*! Besides," he continued, trying to shake off the shame he felt over that little indiscretion with his former Sire, "You ought to be glad. That was what led to my 'epiphany'." He nodded quickly at his friend's stunned expression. "She brought me misery unlike any I've ever known, and it brought me back from that 'razor's edge' I was dancing on. But that doesn't matter now. What we need to figure out is what to do about what happened with me and Willow."
Wesley gazed consideringly at the vampire for a few minutes, his facile mind quickly accepting what Angel had said, but... "I'm not sure I understand, Angel," he said enquiringly, "I suppose it's a regrettable turn of affairs, but why do we have to do *anything* about it? She did her spell and helped you, and you did *our* spell and brought her back to the waking world. And yes, apparently you two became rather... *intimate* in the process, but I don't see any reason why you can't both put it behind you and go on with your lives. You'll continue to work for the Powers, and Willow can go back to Sunnydale with none the wiser for what happened here."
He'd found himself agreeing with Wesley, right up to the part about Willow going back to the Hellmouth, but once he heard *that*, he was far too occupied with trying to restrain his demon to hear anything else. He hadn't had to fight his own nature so hard in all the time he'd been souled. "I don't think that would be a really good idea, Wes," he finally managed to grate out, "It won't do anyone any good to just... sweep this under the rug like so much dirty linen..."
The former watcher stared at the vampire, wondering at the struggle he saw in his face. "Oh, good Lord," he murmured, eyes wide once again. "Angel... you haven't done something foolish... irresponsible... *dangerous*... have you?"
"No... no, of course not," Angel lied. "I just... I mean, Tara saw her dreams, and... I don't think Sunnydale is gonna be terribly comfortable for her right now. Maybe she should stay here for a few weeks... You know, just until all this," he gestured vaguely, "Until it all just... blows over...?" His sigh of relief was purely internal when the man nodded thoughtfully. "She could stay with Cordelia," he added, trying to allay any suspicions his friend might have, even though he knew he'd never let *that* happen. Willow belonged at the hotel with *him*, and after a few weeks, she wouldn't even *think* about leaving.
"Well," Wesley said, "As long as you haven't gone *falling* for the girl, I suppose that *would* be the best idea, for the present. I'll have to explain it to Mister Giles, of course, but..."
"No!" Angel cried, leaping up before noticing the reawakened questioning in Wesley's eyes. "I... I don't want Giles to know about... well, *you* know. I... I didn't even *ask* her, Wes," he continued, feeling the guilt once again, "I just... *took*..."
The former watcher nodded his understanding. "Don't worry, Angel," he said soothingly, "I won't mention the, ah... *physical* aspects of what happened. I'll just tell him that you were able to wake her, and that we'd like to keep her here until Tara's able to forgive her." He nodded again, definitively, not noticing the swiftly hidden fury in his friend's eyes at the mention of the blonde witch. "Yes," he muttered to himself, "That ought to do it..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
She glanced at herself in the mirror, straightening the high neck of her blouse, and stared into the reflection of her empty eyes for just a moment before turning away in disgust. How could she have *done* that to him? She wondered. Maybe there was some innate flaw to her character... some part of her that just couldn't stand the fact that he wasn't hers. Well, she'd definitely screwed things up *this* time! And she couldn't even go home! Not after she'd called Tara and heard... That was the other thing that was bothering her. She'd hurt her girlfriend-- the one she was supposed to *love*-- and it didn't disturb her *nearly* as much as she was convinced it should! Fortunately, Wesley had come up with a fairly good alternative to going back to Sunnydale right away. She was going to stay at Cordelia's with Fred, and Cordy would move in to the hotel for a few weeks. It was the only possible way.
Oh, Angel had offered to let her stay there herself, but... she just didn't think she could handle it, not after the way she must have acted to get him into bed with her. She didn't remember it, of course, but she must have been pretty... aggressive... if she'd managed to force her way past the grief he had to be feeling over Buffy.
She took one last, swift look at herself in the mirror, thanking the Gods that his bite had been low enough on her neck that her shirt covered it completely, and turned towards the door, grabbing her things on her way out.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He recognized her heart beat coming down the stairs long before he saw her, and he swallowed hard, trying to compose himself. It wasn't easy, what with the demon-y parts of him crowing in triumph at the fact that she'd finally left her room. He'd tried to tell himself that what had happened didn't matter; tried to convince himself that whatever it was he was feeling was just gratitude. Unfortunately, he was well aware that that was a lie. Yes, it *had* been about that at first, but then... then he'd entered her mind, and what had happened between them had changed things forever. For *him*, at least. He still wasn't sure of exactly what the little redheaded witch had become to him, but he was for damned sure going to find out. And he'd have plenty of time to do it, he told himself. She'd be there in the hotel for the next few weeks. A small smile crossed his lips, and stayed there until he saw her coming down the stairs with her bag. "Willow..." he said, trying to stay calm, "What are... I mea , I thought you were..." He barely suppressed a growl when she wouldn't even look at him, and he moved a step closer to her. "Will...?" he tried again, his demon roaring angrily when she stepped away.
"Ah, there you are, Willow," Wesley said, trying to break the tension in the suddenly too-small lobby, "Gunn's just pulled up; he'll drop you at Cordy's, then bring her back here." He moved quickly across the floor and hugged the young woman comfortingly. "It'll all work out," he murmured softly into her ear, "You'll see..."
The redhead smiled slightly, not even aware that she was shaking her
head. "I hope you're right, Wes," she replied, equally quietly, "And thanks..."
She couldn't even look at Angel long enough to say good-bye, and she dashed
out into the sunlight thinking that what she'd done to him was far worse
than anything her vampire-self had done while visiting *her* world... At
least the Vampire Willow had the excuse of being evil. She climbed quickly
into Gunn's truck, completely unaware of the pair of gold-tinged brown
eyes watching her every move from the lobby.