SERIES: Passing Time #25

AUTHOR: Tisienne Blue

E-MAIL: tisatko@msn.com

DISCLAIMER: I am not now-- nor have I ever been-- Joss Whedon.

RATING: R-ish, I think.

PAIRINGS: A/W/Liam; S/C

DISTRIBUTION: all sites I've said yes to for this one, and my own site, which is administrated by the lovely Goddess Jeannette, whom I love dearly!!!

FEEDBACK: will tell me if we're tired of this fic or not (by which I mean... no feedback, no more parts. I'm serious.)...

DEDICATIONS: Jeannette and Nat, of course... also to anyone who still likes this one.

NOTES: Kind of AU... well, okay, pretty much entirely. It's 2007, and Willow lives in LA (has done for more than five years). She's involved (read Mated) with Angel and Liam (alternate timeline version of Angel. Liam's still human, but eternal, nonetheless...). Spike and Cordy are together, and Willow and her Mates have been put through a few little 'tests' by the Powers.

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His entire body was aching with the strain of remaining separated from his Mates, and the incredibly intense hangover wasn't helping things any. He blinked blearily in the dim light of his small, dank room, and rolled onto his side. The movement almost made him vomit, and he swallowed hard, trying not to see the roaches skittering across the floor in front of the hard mattress he lay on.

He shouldn't have killed the girl, he told himself again. He should have just... stopped her. He could have knocked her out, or just immobilized her, and he probably would have if she hadn't made him so angry. But she'd tried to use a spell, thinking he was Angel, and the fact that she would have killed one of his Mates had made him just... blind... for a moment, and...

A small sob caught in his throat, even as he reached for the full bottle of whiskey on the floor beside him. "Hair of the dog..." he whispered, ignoring the unpleasant rasp of his alcohol roughened voice. He unscrewed the top quickly, and raised the column of the bottle's neck to his lips. He'd only downed a few swallows, though, when his depressed-- and depressing-- solitude was shattered by the swirling glow across the room. His eyes closed against the vision, only to pop open again when he heard the voice speaking to him. "What? Mathry?"

The male Oracle frowned deeply as he stared at the Eternal Warrior. *This* man had been friends with his other self in the other dimension? Well, yes. And he supposed he shouldn't judge, seeing as he had no experience with Mates, as such. Still, "I've been looking for you for *days*, and where do I find you?" His eyes swept through the dingy, dirty room, and he shuddered. "What in the hell were you thinking, Liam?" he demanded, "Or were you even thinking at all?"

Liam swallowed hard again, this time in an effort to stop himself from crying."I figured no one would find me here," he finally allowed, putting his bottle back on the floor. "He... he thinks I'm evil or something, and..." And the tears came, anyway. "I can't stand this, Mathry. I can't take this world anymore."

The waves of despair flowing from the human were almost enough to drive Mathry to his knees. Only the knowledge that that would mean having more than his feet touching the filthy floor kept him upright. "It's the only world you have, Warrior," he answered, sympathy singing through him. "This is the world that my other self-- your *friend*-- sent you to. The world where you're needed. The world you can make a difference in. Does that mean nothing to you?" He waited with bated breath for some sort of reply.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Willow swore her heart was breaking, just from watching the one Mate she had left deteriorating before her eyes. He'd completely reverted to the brooding, self-loathing vampire he'd been when she'd first met him, and even when they were together in their room, he wasn't anything like the Angel she'd lived with for the last five years. It would have been better if they'd been able to find Liam that first night, but it had been almost a week, and they'd run out of places to look. Their one hope had been that Cordy might have a vision that would lead them to him, but that hadn't happened, and much as she hated to admit it, she was starting to lose hope herself. Liam had become so much a part of them since he'd arrived that even she was starting to feel empty without him. She slid slowly into the bed behind her vampire, one arm slipping over his ribs as she pressed herself tightly to his cool back. "We can't give up," she said softly.

Gods, he didn't want to disappoint her, but he didn't see any way around it. "We've looked everywhere he'd go, Will," he said, his depression and sorrow clear in his voice. "I don't know what else to do. He doesn't want to be found, I guess."

It was the words from the doorway that had them suddenly hoping again.

Spike rolled his eyes, worried about the both of them, although he'd never say so to anyone but his Mate. "Yeah, you've looked 'everywhere he'd go'. What about places he *wouldn't* go, you wanker? If he doesn't want you finding him, then he'd be awfully stupid to go somewhere you'd look, wouldn't he?" He smiled to himself, even as they leapt from their bed. "Of course, seeing as he's yet another version of *you*, Poufy, maybe he really *is* stupid." The fact that his great prancing git of a Sire didn't even growl at him had him suddenly concerned. "Angel?"

Willow shook her head and shot a grateful look at the blond. "He can't hear you, Spike," she explained, knowing it for the truth. "He's thinking too hard, trying to figure out where Liam would go to get lost."

The younger vampire gazed consideringly at his Sire before nodding. "Well, I'd say it would have to be somewhere you wouldn't expect, but someplace he's at least a little bit familiar with. Maybe somewhere he knew in his world, right?"

Angel heard the words through his bond with Willow, and actually chose to pay attention this time. He nodded slowly, even as he sat down to tie his shoes. "Right. Let's check the map."

"No," Willow suddenly said, a memory from Liam's first night in the hotel coming to the front of her mind, "I think I know. Come on, I'll tell you on the way."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Yes," Liam replied, after a very long few minutes, "It means nothing. Nothing *matters*, Mathry! And I don't think the Mathry I knew was my friend; not any more!" He didn't care that he was snarling as he forced himself to stand and stalk towards the Oracle. "Would a 'friend' send me to a place like this? A place where I could find the two people who make me feel like... like I *belong* somewhere? A place where I'd discover exactly what I could have, only to *lose* it?" He was pacing, suddenly, and he didn't care. Nor did he care that sharp, bitter tears were flowing down his face. "Would a 'friend' set me up to be torn apart? No. Mathry wasn't my *friend*-- no more than *you* are!"

To tell the Warrior that he was wrong would have been pointless, but the very fact that the man was up from the mattress on the floor, and exhibiting some emotion other than misery was encouraging. He could understand why Liam felt the way he did about the other Mathry, but somehow, he didn't think the Eternal Warrior had looked at the bigger picture. It was then that he realized what the man had said a few minutes earlier, and he sighed. "He doesn't think you're evil. Neither does the witch."

"Hah! You weren't there! You didn't see the way he looked at me!" His triumph was short-lived, of course, because just speaking the words took him back to that heart-rending moment in time, when he'd looked into Angel's eyes and seen... nothing. No love, no caring; just... a void. "And Willow," he continued sadly, "Well, Willow is *his* Mate, first. She's loved him for a very long time. She belongs with him."

Mathry's eyes narrowed with anger, and he advanced upon the weeping human. "You *both* belong with him. And *he* belongs with both of you! Gods, why don't you *see* that!" His hands darted out, grabbing the soiled collar of Liam's shirt roughly. "You," he hissed, shaking the man for emphasis with each word, "Are. An. Idiot." He glared daggers into the taller man's eyes. "They've spent almost every minute of every day *looking* for you, and all you can do is... *sit* *here*, getting *drunk*, of all things!" He flung the human away, sighing in disgust. "And if that's how you're going to be...? Then you don't *deserve* them!" He cried out impatiently, and started to dissolve away, when Liam's shouted 'Wait' pulled him back. "Well?" he demanded, as soon as he was fully solid once more.

"They... they've been looking for me?" Just the hopeful tone of his own voice had him cringing, because... He was a *Warrior*! He shouldn't sound so pathetic. Still, he felt pathetic, after all. "They're looking?"

Mathry sighed again, annoyed beyond anything he'd ever felt before. "Yes," he said shortly, "And with any luck, they'll find you, because... This whole situation is getting on my nerves." Still, he couldn't keep from smiling fondly at the man as he finally did fade out.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Stop here," Willow ordered, smiling slightly as they pulled to the curb less than a block away from the place she hoped to find her missing Mate. "That's it," she said, pointing shakily at a small doorway with only a faded painted sign over it to indicate that it was an actual business.

Angel closed his eyes and swallowed hard, hoping against hope that his witch was right. It was the last neighborhood he would ever have expected their Mate to go to, but... maybe that was reason enough for him to have come here. He almost thought he could feel a vague echo of the bond he bore with Willow and Liam, but... he wasn't sure. His human had closed down his end at the same time he'd run from the hotel, and... It could just be wishful thinking, Angel told himself. Still, he got out of the car and stood on the sidewalk as his witch and his childe climbed out as well. His hand sought his Mate's and gripped tightly at her fingers. "Look, Willow... If he's not..."

Spike groaned loudly, wishing he were home with his own Mate instead of helping the Pouf and witchy-poo track theirs. "If he's not here, you'll look somewhere else, you sodding git! Now, get on with it! I want to go home some time tonight, you know."

Willow almost laughed at that, but that was the moment when she felt a small fluttering down her closed link to Liam, and she gasped softly instead. Her free hand dug deep into the pocket of her jeans, and she pulled a wad of bills out. "Here," she said, thrusting the whole thing at Spike, "Take a cab. Tell Cordy we love her. Stay away from the Hotel for a few days." She started down the street, eyes locked on that small door that she just *knew* Heaven was behind. "Let Wes stay with you, too, or send him to Gunn's. Anywhere but the Hotel," she added, speaking over her shoulder.

Spike watched them, eyes wide, as they reached that doorway and passed inside. He gazed down at the truly staggering amount of money the redhead had given him and grinned wickedly. He'd take a cab, all right, but first... First he had a particularly stunning corset to buy for his girl. She couldn't complain about him tearing it to shreds if he paid for it himself, could she? He started off down the street, whistling merrily and silently wishing his Sire and Willow the best of luck. They needed their other Mate, after all.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The bartender's double-take on seeing him would have made him laugh under any other circumstances, but as it was, he stepped up to the bar, leaning over it. "I'm looking for..."

"Your twin," the man cut him off. "Yeah. I figured someone would be along eventually." He shook his head slowly. "He didn't seem the type to stick around a place like this for long. Not that I blame him. Do me a favour, okay?" he demanded, meeting the tall man's dark eyes. "Next time you all have a family fight, don't let it get so out of hand. It's been a bitch and a half keeping some of the regulars from beating him up just for those fine Italian loafers he's got."

As much of a hurry as Angel was in, he found himself curious as to why this man would bother. "Why do you even care?" he asked dangerously, a small bit of gold infusing his eyes. If this old man thought he would ever have a chance with...

The barman shrugged, pulling back a step from the glittering gaze. "He seems like a good kid. Polite. Always with a please and a thank you. Respectful, like." He shrugged again. "Don't get much of that in this part of town, y'know?"

And suddenly the vampire felt ashamed. He pushed the demon back down and nodded. "Yeah. I guess I get it. Um... where...?"

Willow squeezed his hand a little harder as she leaned over the bar, herself. "Please, will you tell us where we can find our... Liam?"

The man smiled at the smallish redhead, suddenly understanding some of the things he'd heard Liam mumbling while drunk. Still, who was he to judge? He pointed towards the fire door at the back of the bar and nodded. "Go through there. There's a stairway on the right, just before you hit the door to the alley. He's up two flights, third door on the left." He smiled again, heartily amused by the speed the two used in following his directions. He hoped they could fix whatever was wrong between them and the boy upstairs; he really did. He hadn't been kidding about his regulars, after all. If the young man stayed there any longer, he wouldn't be able to protect him.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

He'd tried to clean himself up a bit, but it was difficult, seeing as he had no clothes other than the ones he'd been wearing for six days straight. Still, he'd splashed some water on his face, and tried to smooth his hair down, but... He was well aware of the fact that he still looked like shit. Add in the fact that he hadn't bathed or brushed his teeth for the duration of his drunken pity-fest, and he knew he smelled pretty damned bad, too. But maybe he could stop on his way home and pick up a toothbrush or something. Whatever. He surveyed his room one last time, although he wasn't sure why he was bothering. He hadn't brought anything with him, so it wasn't like he'd be leaving anything behind. He shook his head slowly, hoping that Mathry'd been right, that Willow and Angel really did want him back. That Angel didn't think he was a trick, or false, because he honestly didn't think he could see them again and walk away without dying inside. He sighed softly and moved to the door.

He stepped out into the narrow hall, and slipped down the stairs and out through the alley door. It would be a long walk from the bar to the Hotel, but he'd make it eventually, and then... Well, maybe he'd have a chance to shower before he saw his Mates. He definitely needed to.

The alley was fairly short, and he glanced quickly around, his head still throbbing a bit from the hangover he so richly deserved. "He's right," he muttered quietly, remembering the Oracle's words, "I *am* an idiot." A small smile crossed his lips at the admission, and he started down the street, unaware of the fact that his choice to return had created a small crack in the wall he'd erected over the bond he shared with his Mates. Of course, that was understandable, since he hadn't been aware of building it in the first place.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

To have come so close, only to be greeted by an empty room was disheartening. That the room smelled strongly of Liam only made it more so. They couldn't have missed him by more than a few minutes, Angel was sure. The scent was that recent. It was also quite strong, which had him a bit worried that maybe his human hadn't been taking care of himself. The truly staggering number of empty liquor bottles strewn across the floor only bore out that supposition. His eyes locked on Willow's, and he saw an answering sadness there. "Do you think he..." he began, only to stop in fear of saying the words.

"No," she answered soothingly. "I think he just... went out for something. He'll probably be back soon."

His arms wrapped around her small body, there in the dimly lit filth that smell of their Mate, and he bent down, breathing softly against her neck. "Then we'll wait."

Willow nodded, her own arms mirroring his hold. "We wait. And when he comes back, we take him home. Even if we have to knock him out, we get him the hell *out* of here."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Only two more miles, and he'd be home. It didn't sound like much, but the steps couldn't go by quickly enough for him. He felt along the bond for the first time since he'd left the Hotel the night he'd killed that girl, and found himself both happy and disappointed that his Mates weren't at home. He'd so wanted to walk in the door and into their arms. Still, at least he'd have a chance to shower.

That thought alone had him moving faster, and he was amazed, what seemed like only seconds later, to find himself staring up at the big building he still thought of a 'home'. For some reason, the doors were locked, but he still had his key, so that wasn't a problem.

He slipped inside, and trudged up the stairs to the room he'd shared with the redhead and the vampire. His stinking, dirt-streaked clothes were left in a heap outside the door, and he crossed directly to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth a few times before finally moving to the bathtub.

No shower had ever felt as good, he decided. To finally, truly be *clean* was almost unbelievably wonderful. So much so that he settled into a hot bath for a while. Finally, though, he found himself nodding off, and he made himself get up. He pulled the plug in the old-fashioned tub and moved slowly, wearily into the bedroom, pausing only to towel off before slipping between the sheets. He wrapped the covers tightly around himself, and drifted off surrounded by the smell of his Mates.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

They'd been waiting almost motionlessly for nearly an hour when they felt it, and their eyes flew wide, even as they sough each other out. Not a word was spoken as they ran down the stairs and out the back door. They were in the car in a matter of minutes, cursing the surprisingly heavy traffic with a vengeance as they made their way back home.

The car was barely stopped before they flew from it, dashing to the front doors and unlocking them. It took less than an instant to secure the Hotel against all comers, and when Willow was too slow on the stairs, Angel carried her. They stopped outside their door, staring at the heap of abused clothing, and they looked at each other, broad smiles on both their faces as they removed their own outfits, placing them near-- but not touching-- Liam's.

Angel pushed the door open slowly, breath catching in his throat at the sight of his missing Mate laying peacefully in their bed, looking for all the world like he'd never left. His footsteps were slow and steady, as though he was afraid that to step to harshly would wake him from what he was afraid was a dream.

Willow followed right behind, her eyes locked on Liam's sleeping form, as well. She slipped swiftly around the bed and crawled into it, slowly working her way into the cocoon of blankets and sheets Liam had surrounded himself with. She sighed with relief when she found naked flesh, and pressed herself closer, one arm sliding over his warm torso. She'd never let him go again. Not for anything.

His heart lifted wildly, and he slid onto the mattress on the other side of his human-self. He smiled shakily when Willow's slender arm pushed the covers back, and he shifted beneath them gratefully. His arm assumed a position just below his witch's, and he held on for dear life. They were going to have to talk, the three of them, but... not right then. Right then, they just needed to... be. His eyes met Willow's over the still sleeping shape between them, and he smiled his first *real* smile in days. The smile remained, even as their slow and steady heartbeats lulled him into sleeping, himself.

Her arm tightened slightly, and she rested her head on Liam's warm shoulder, feeling the thumping beneath her ear. It was comforting, and right, and exactly what she'd been missing. She slept.

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