AUTHOR: Tisienne Blue
E-MAIL: tisatko@msn.com
DISCLAIMER: I am not Joss; hence, I own no one.
RATING: probably R-ish, I guess...
PAIRING: A/W/S
DISTRIBUTION: Charity gets whatever she wants!!! Also OK for list archives, and anyone I've said yes to before... others? Just ask...
FEEDBACK: would make me happy...
DEDICATIONS: still for George... also to: Ali, Noreen, Isis, Sandy, and Susie... I know there were more of you, but...*sigh* Some kind soul sent me a nasty bitch of a virus, and I had to re-format my hard-drive and re-install ALL of my programs, so I lost my lists for dedis... the problem has, I'm told, been fixed, so... of course, I lost all my fic, as well, so...*sigh again* OK, enough said.
NOTES: follows 'In Silence' in this series... one more part after this, I think, and I DID promise a happy ending, so... less angst here, I think... oh, and * *= emphasis.
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He walked slowly into the large empty living room of his old mansion, and sighed in relief when he heard no sounds of movement anywhere in the place. Hopefully, that meant that she hadn't woken up yet, and would never know that both he and his childe had somehow managed to run off and leave her-- newly turned-- alone. He sat down on the couch, still angry with himself for ever thinking about leaving her to Spike. What had he been thinking? He wondered. Of course he'd wanted her to be *happy*, but... could Spike really make her happy, and if so, could he *keep* her that way?
One part of him thought so, recalling the years... decades, really... during which his childe had made *him* so ecstatic, but... the rest of him, the part that had changed so much when he'd acquired his soul, thought *not*. *That* part of him was convinced that he, and *only* he, could make her whole... complete... and eternally thrilled, if she'd just give him the chance. Of course, his demon half was busy yelling at him to just take the girl and run, and while his nobler instincts were objecting to the very notion, he almost didn't care. If he took her right then, they could be gone, and he really *would* make her happy... if he could.
And that was the internal battle he was fighting when his blond-headed childe arrived.
Spike glared at the brooding poof and flung himself down on the couch beside him. "How is she?" he finally demanded, his eyes traveling swiftly to the bedroom door. He felt like he'd been driving forever.
Angel sighed and glanced at the same door. "I don't think she's awake yet, Spike," he said, annoyed by his childe's very presence, "Or at least, I don't *hear* her."
"Well, that's good then, mate," the blond replied, focusing once again on his Sire, "Means she won't know what stupid shits we were..."
The dark haired vampire smiled slightly at the other man's words. "Good point." He settled back against the couch, and waited for his love to awaken, fully aware of Spike doing the same beside him.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Willow had been holding herself perfectly still ever since she'd heard Angel enter. She'd thought, for a moment, that he was going to check on her, but he hadn't, and she'd found that that made her just the slightest bit angrier at him. After all, if he was concerned enough to come all the way back to Sunnydale, she'd have thought he'd at *least* poke his head in the room to see if she was all right. Oh, well, she figured, Spike would when he got there... she just *knew* it!
Her eyes narrowed dangerously when she heard him arrive and recognized the sounds of him *sitting*, and *talking*. He was supposed to *love* her! He'd *said* he did! But he sure wasn't acting like it.
First he'd turned her, then he'd left her, and then when he finally *did* come back, did he come see her like a lover should? Oh, *no*! He'd decided to sit down and conspire with his Sire to *lie* to her... or at least, to not tell her the *truth*!
It sickened her slightly, that the way they were acting made her feel so... small, and she decided right then and there that her almost abandoned plan of making them pay needed to be kicked into high-gear. So she lay there, still as death, and plotted out her next steps in her mind, a sly and wicked smile crossing her face as she decided upon a course of action.
She would let them back into her life, she knew, but first... first, she was going to make them pay, and then she would see to it that they learned how to get along, because if there was one thing that she *wouldn't* have, it was the men she loved fighting over her. She grinned more softly, and started moving gently in the bed, knowing that their ears would hear her and assume that she was finally waking up.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Angel was off the couch in a flash, Spike right behind him, when the sounds of the witch's slight movements registered on their ears. They looked at each other for a moment before they ran towards the bedroom, each trying to get there before the other.
"Wait!" Angel demanded as they finally came to a disordered stop just outside the door, "She's been traumatized enough! We can't just go bursting in there, Spike!"
The blond growled angrily, hating his Sire once again. "Yeah? Well, maybe *you* can't, you bloody poof, but *I* *can*! She's *my* lover; *my* childe! I can do whatever I want!" He bared his teeth in a warning, and knocked tentatively at the door, ignoring Angel's amused snort. "Love? Can I come in?" he said tenderly.
The dark haired vampire grinned to himself. Spike could *act* tough all he wanted, but when it came to Willow? He smirked. His childe was just as whipped as *he* was. Neither of them ever wanted to do anything to make the girl unhappy, regardless of what had happened so far. "Yeah, Will... can *we* come in?"
The redhead almost laughed out loud at the careful tones of their voices. If she hadn't already *known* that they'd done something wrong, she'd have suspected, based upon that alone! Still, she mused, as she sat up fully, it wouldn't do to let *them* know that! "Hold on a minute," she said softly, rising from the bed. She glanced down at herself and frowned at the wrinkled jeans she'd been wearing for well over twenty-four hours, and she peeled the crusty, blood-soaked shirt from her chest. Crossing to the dresser by the far wall, she pulled out drawer after drawer until she found something to wear. "OK," she finally said, slipping the silk shirt over her naked torso, "You can come in." She stared at her own fingers as they finished buttoning the shirt, afraid that they'd see her anger and intent if she looked directly at them.
Spike would have growled when he saw her in one of Poofy's shirts, but he thought that might upset her. Still, he didn't like it that she was apparently so comfortable in his Sire's clothes... it made him worry. What if, he wondered, she'd decided that she'd have Angel back, after all? Where did that leave *him*? And granted, he'd left her so she *could* be with the big nancyboy, but... he was back now, and he wasn't *ever* going to leave her again! "So, pet..." he murmured, stepping towards her, "You're finally awake..." He frowned as she backed away. She really *had* decided on the Poof?
Angel tried his hardest to control his smirk when the little redhead backed away from his childe... her *Sire*! She was wearing *his* shirt, and wouldn't let Spike anywhere *near* her, and he was... sorry for the boy, but happy none the less. "I'm glad you're feeling better, Will," he purred, flowing across the room as only he could. He stopped short, surprise etched into his roughly-hewn features when she slipped past him, too. "Willow?" he said, confused.
She almost laughed at the looks of consternation on their faces. They had no idea of what to make of her behaviour, and she discovered that she *liked* making them wonder. Oh, she *loved* them, she held no doubts about *that*, but... "Were you even going to *tell* me?" she asked, sounding almost bitter, "Or were you going to act like nothing happened? Like you didn't both leave?" She forced herself to glare at them, even while her demon was chuckling up a storm. "If you didn't want to be with me, you shouldn't have turned me in the first place. You should have just let me *die*."
Spike's eyes were wide, and he knew it. His mouth was hanging open, and the shock on his face was mirrored by the expression on his Sire's. Oh, *shit*!, he thought, She knew! Somehow, she'd found out, and then-- his eyes narrowed for a moment-- and then she'd *played* them... both!
Angel was almost completely floored. She'd known that they were gone? But how? For all *she* knew, they might have just been out getting blood! Besides, she'd still been sleeping when they'd returned, so... One corner of his mouth twitched up. Unless she'd been faking it. "I... I'm sorry, Will; please... don't be mad," he said softly, "We... we each left so that you could be with the other, and..."
The redhead growled and cut him off. "Whatever, Angel! And I'm not *mad*, I'm... disappointed, I guess. I mean," she continued, her gaze flickering back and forth between the two vampires, "I could have understood that, you know... That you both wanted me to be... happy? But, you *lied* to me, by omission if nothing else, and... I'm sorry, but I just don't trust you-- *either* of you-- anymore." She glared at them again, hands clenched into fists on her hips. "I don't know if I'll ever be *able* to again." She turned away then, not wanting them to see the glee in her eyes. They had no idea of how much it had hurt her to find them gone, and... she wanted them to learn. To know what it was like for the whole world to collapse. And besides, she reminded herself, it would only be for a *little* while, and it wasn't as though she was going to give them *no* hope...
Spike stared at the shaking shoulders of the girl he loved; watched as her shoulders slumped, and he sighed deeply at her dejected stance. "Love?" he said softly to her back, "What can I... *we* do? How can we make it up to you?" He honestly thought that there wasn't anything he wouldn't be willing to go through in order to have her back in his arms; his bed... and he could tell that Peaches felt the same way.
"Just... tell us, Willow," Angel added in agreement, "We'll do anything..." He meant it, too, and he *knew* it. If she asked him to walk into the sun for her, he wouldn't even have to think about it; he'd walk out and get himself a tan. "Just *tell* us," he repeated, and waited anxiously for her response.
The redhead sighed, discarding her careful plan. She just couldn't do it; she loved them too much. "Fine," she said, turning around to face them again, "If this is gonna work, then... here's how it has to be." She turned again and walked out into the living room, smiling to herself at the sounds of them right behind her. She sat in the center of the couch and waited until they'd settled themselves, one on either side of her, and sighed. She turned to Spike, taking his hand in her own. "I love you, Spike. And not just because you're my Sire." She smiled at him then, addressing the surprise in his eyes. "I think... I think I always *have*, but... I didn't realize it. I mean, it's so very different from what I feel for Angel. Different, but," she elaborated when he looked a bit sad, "No less intense; no less *real*! I love your passion, and your playfulness, and Gods, even your constant threats against my friends! I love *all* of that about you!" She leaned towards him and pressed a slow, soft kiss to his lips before turning to a very uncomfortable Angel.
"Angel," she said softly, taking his hand, as well, "I... I still love you, you know? I never stopped; I couldn't!" She smiled slightly when his eyes finally met hers. "For a long time, after you didn't show up that night, I thought I didn't. Hell, I even thought that I *hated* you for a while there, but..." She shook her head, still smiling just that little bit. "I never did. I wanted to, mostly because I felt so hurt, and... and empty, but." She shook her head again, more slowly this time. "It's hard for me to explain the way I feel about you, much less the why of it, but... I think part of what I love so much is that enormous sense of responsibility you drag around with you... The way you care for, and try to protect, everyone around you. I love the way you look at me, like I'm the answer to every question you've never thought to ask, and... I don't know, I just... *love* you!"
The blond and the brunette exchanged swift glances over the witch's head, not really sure of exactly what she was saying, and broke the gaze when she continued.
"So, here's the deal, guys," Willow said softly, afraid to look at either of them, "I won't choose. I'm not going to pick one of you over the other. I love you *both*, differently, and for different reasons, but equally, none the less, and... I want you *both*." She glanced quickly at Angel, through her lashes, before flicking her gaze to Spike, and then quickly away once again. "And I don't care if... if one of you decides to be all noble, and leave again, either, because... It's all or nothing here, guys. I won't have one of you without the other. Not ever. So," she finished, disengaging her hands from theirs, and standing, "That's the deal. *That's* what you can do to 'make it up to me'." She stood strongly, secure, finally, in her decision. "Let me know what you decide," she told them softly as she strode to the bedroom and shut the door behind her. She didn't know what was going to happen next, but... she'd meant every word.
End.