Rating- G
Pairing- W/A
Disclaimer- I own nothing, it all belong to Joss.
Spoilers- Set after season seven
Summery-Giles wants to form a new watcher's counsel, and wants Willow to become a watcher.
Dedication- Here's to everyone who asked me to do a sequel (boy, didn't you have to twist my arm! LOL) I hope y'all like it as much as the first.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 1~
Dear Angel
I know I've told you already, but you have no idea how much I had needed the time away from here. I wanted to thank you for that; for giving me the chance to get away and relax. The only problem I find now is that I'm still stuck in the same rut that I was in before-no peace and quiet.
This place is so crowded; I can scarcely hear myself think. Kennedy has left, so I'm a little more at ease than before I came to L.A., but not by much.
On the bright side of things, Giles is looking into getting a warehouse or something so that there will be more room for everyone. He wants to section areas off for bedrooms and a training room, living area etc.
Basically what it will work out to is a boarding school for slayers. He wants to continue his search for all the newly turned slayers in the world and bring them here to train. He even wants to start up a new `and improved' watcher's counsel. And get this-he wants me to be a watcher! Can you believe it?
He says I know just as much as any watcher before did when it comes to training, but more than that; he says I'm open to new ideas just as he is. Something the original counsel wasn't, and that is what will make this work. And any slayer that is too old to be a slayer will be trained as a watcher too. We'll be like the pioneers, starting over-starting fresh.
It's a great idea, but I find that I'm rather reluctant to do it. I don't want to let Giles down, but at the same time, well…I don't know. It's not exactly something I ever really thought of doing before. I kinda figured I'd be doing something in computers, you know, like software or programming.
It's given me something to think about, but I don't want to commit to something that I don't really want to do. I guess we'll see what happens; right now there is still plenty of time to think about it before it all gets started anyway.
I really enjoyed our time together while I was with you. I'd forgotten how nice it was to be around you. Although, I found it nice just to be able to open my mouth without being interrupted by a sugared up teenager! Haha.
I guess I should have written you before now, but I hardly have the time to spare anymore. Pretty much the second I walked through the door when I got back it was; "Willow, your back! I need-blah blah, fill in the blank!"
Right now everyone is sleeping, so I thought I'd take the opportunity while it presented itself to write. So, how about you? How are things going with the `cleaning' of Wolfram and Hart? Smoothly I hope. Please write and tell me all about it. Who knows, maybe you can convince me to take another trip to L.A. But we'll have to make sure we come up with a really good excuse! Haha
Well, I suppose I should let you go for now. I very much look forward to hearing (or reading) from you. Take care of yourself.
Love: Willow
Willow laid the pen aside, quickly folded and put the letter into the envelope and sealed it before curious eyes had a chance to read it. It was nice having someone to talk to about the new counsel and the possibility of being a watcher. Maybe even having a slayer of her own one day.
Still, Willow was serious when she wrote that she wasn't sure it was something that she wanted to do. But like she said to Angel, she still had time to think about it. The red head put her things away and quietly made her way to her sleeping bag and crawled in, in the hopes of getting comfortable and getting some sleep.
* * * * *
Willow awoke with the sounds of the hustle and bustle of everyone clambering for breakfast. Resigning herself to the fact that she would get no more sleep, she sighed and got up and made her way to the bathroom; only to find it already occupied.
She let her head droop for a moment and shook it slowly. `Yup, this is my life.' She thought to herself before walking away. She found a corner in the room, and while no one was paying attention, she mumbled a few words then walked away-already dressed and fresh looking.
"Wow! You managed what even a slayer couldn't." Buffy said with a playful grin.
"What's that?"
"To use the bathroom and grab a shower." Replied the slayer as Willow gave a slight shake of her head.
"Nope, no shower-I couldn't get in either."
"Then how did…" Buffy let the sentence trail off as realization dawned. "Oooooh."
"You got it."
"That's just plain sneaky as hell, and so not fair." She pouted. "Hey Wills," she leaned over and began to whisper, "would you mind, you know-do the `mojo'?" and she gestured to her robe and hair.
"Sure." Willow replied and closed her eyes. When she opened them again she said while turning to leave. "Gotta go, see ya in a bit."
"Kay, thanks Will." Said Buffy as she looked down at her outfit. "HEY!" Buffy stood there in a blue robe staring after the red head; a blue robe that used to be pink.
~Part: 2~
Angel read the letter before him and let out a small whistle. Willow, a watcher. It was unexpected news. Though there was no doubt in his mind that she could fill the role quite well. He sat down at his desk and pulled out the hotel stationary and a pen, wondering how to go about replying. Carefully he put the pen to the paper and began.
My dearest Willow
Hello, Little One. It was great to hear from you. I have to say, I was rather surprised to read about Giles asking you to be a watcher to say the least. You must be proud that he thought of you for something so important to him. It's quite an honor.
I know that if you decide to do this, you would do an exceptional job. You have a great capacity to care for people and would do everything to the best of your ability. You put yourself into everything you do, and I think that's the reason Giles feels he can trust you with this.
As far as Wolfram and Hart are concerned, it's all taken care of now. No new problems have crept up to get in the way, thankfully. In about another week we should be ready to move in to fully take it over.
I wish there was something I could do to help with the `space and privacy' thing for you. It must be hard to get along, so it really is a good thing that Giles is looking for something much larger. The idea of a boarding school for slayers has real potential to it. And if I know Giles, you and Buffy, I believe you could make it work.
By the way, does anyone know just how many slayers there are in the world now? And how do you go about finding them all? I'm not trying to put a damper on anything, just idle curiosity.
And yes, little one, I too, enjoyed your time here. If the truth be known, I hated to have to see you leave. It's been a long time since I've been that comfortable around anyone; comfortable enough to talk about things that I've never really shared with others. And yes, I would love for you to come back for a visit-anytime.
If you need a reason, I can think one up just for you; I might even be able to make it a believable one. Just tell me when, and I can be on the phone within seconds! (I'm smiling, you just can't see it). I know this is not the best letter on earth, or the most interesting. I can fight demons and help save the world, but put a pen in my hand and I'm lost.
I've put my e-mail address at the bottom of this letter, so if you like, you can talk to me anytime you wish. And there's no need to thank me, I loved the company.
Luck be with you
Angel
Angel folded the paper and placed it in the envelope, and left the room. Once he reached the lobby, he found Alan and held it up for him to see.
"Excuse me, Alan."
"Can I help you, Mr. Angel?"
"Yes, actually. You can. Could you possibly have this mailed for me today? As soon as possible?"
"Yes sir, I can." Replied Alan with a friendly smile. "The mail pick up is schedualed within the next hour."
"I'm afraid I don't have a stamp. You don't by any chance…" but Alan interrupted.
"I'll take care of it for you, Mr. Angel. And it will be at the post office to be sorted this afternoon."
"Thank you very much for your help."
"Think nothing of it, sir. I'm happy to help." He looked down at the envelope, then gave the vampire a knowing look. "Isn't this the young woman who came to see you about a month and a half ago?"
"You remember?" Angel was surprised.
"What's not to remember? She was very attractive, and very charming. And, I have to say, she had the most radiant smile I've ever seen-quite infectious."
"Yes, it is that." Angel replied, nodding.
"Don't worry, sir. I'll see that it gets in the mail. You have yourself a nice day."
"Thanks, Alan." And he headed back towards the elevator and to his room.
Alan watched the man disappear and shook his head with a smile. "Young love." He said as he stamped the envelope and placed on the top of the out-going mail pile.
~Part: 3~
"Will, it's a letter for you; it's from L.A." Buffy replied as she handed Willow the white envelope addressed to her, who accepted it eagerly. "Sooo, who's it from?"
"Hmmm? Oh! It's from Angel. I wrote him a few days ago thanking him for letting me visit, and told him the news of how things were going here. I just-well, I didn't expect a response so soon, if at all."
Buffy was at a loss for words. She didn't know what to say without sounding like a jealous girlfriend, but was dying to know what the letter contained.
"Well? Aren't you going to open it instead of staring at it?" asked the slayer in a joking manner, hoping the red head would reveal what was written.
"Oh, in a little while. I have too much to do right now. I told Giles that I'd help try and track down some of the new slayers on the computer."
"You know, I've been wondering how we're supposed to find these girls. I mean, it's not like they'll be wearing signs that say; `Hey, I'm a slayer, come and get me.' Know what I mean?"
"Actually, I'll be getting hold of some of the contacts in the demon community to keep their ears-or whatever they use, to the ground. Plus I'll be checking hospital records for anything unusual. That's about the best we can do for now."
"One of the few times the computer won't be of much help, huh?"
"Actually, Buffy, that's how the community will get hold of me."
"Oh, Willow! There you are!" exclaimed Giles excitedly.
"Where else would I be?" the red head muttered to herself.
"I've just gotten off the phone with Wesley. He agrees with us on starting a new counsel, and thinks that you would make a perfect watcher! This is wonderful; everything is starting to fall into place. Oh, and I've may have found the perfect place! There is an old school that has been closed down for the past four years, and has been on the market."
"Wow!" said Buffy, "That was fast!"
"Indeed! It's perfect. All those classrooms would make up the rooms for the young slayers, and the gymnasium will be the training area. The offices would be, uh, well, offices for Wesley, myself and Willow. There is a cafeteria, so that takes care of the kitchen. It's perfect!"
"You go Giles! Give me a G, Give me an I, Give me an L, Give me and E, Give me an S; and what's that spell? GILES!" and Buffy started jumping up and down, waving invisible pom poms in the air.
"Yes, quite. Thank you, Buffy. Your support is very much appreciated." Replied Giles, blushing as he walked away with his notepad, scribbling down more notes.
"I haven't seen him this excited in a long time." Willow said, still watching Giles.
"Yeah, it's nice to see, isn't it?"
"It is, it really is." She said as a small smile tugged at her lips watching Giles. "He's like a kid in a candy store."
"Part of it is because of you, ya know."
"Me? What me? What did I do?" asked the red head in surprise.
"Look at the facts, Willow. Yeah, I'm his slayer, and yeah, he's my watcher. But that's it. Giles and I have never really had anything in common but slaying." Buffy said, but saw that no light bulb lit up above Willow's head yet.
"Okay, thanks for the history lesson. But that still doesn't explain why you think I give Giles a happy. (Sigh) You know what I mean."
"I do." The blonde agreed. "The thing is, you and Giles; you're both the same." Willow's eyes widened at this comment. "Well, except that you're a girl-not a man, and you're more fun. I mean, think about it. You and Giles- you both like books, you both are the smartest people I've ever met, and for the most part, you two think a lot alike. And for someone he respects as much as you, to become a watcher-just like him; he's very proud. What you two have is something I'll never have with him."
"I-I've never looked at our relationship that way before."
"He has a lot of faith in you and your abilities, and he trusts you-we all do." Buffy finished, giving Willow a reassuring hug.
Willow wasn't sure how to handle all this information. She was proud that Giles felt this way about her, about her abilities-but if she decided not to become a watcher, would it crush his feelings-his trust? It was a disturbing thought. She didn't want to let him down, but…she was confused now.
"Well, I have some work to do on the computer. I'd better get started." She said, and walked to the table and sat down, opening her laptop and staring blankly at the screen.
She looked around the room and saw that everyone else was occupied, so she opened her letter and read. A smile came to her lips. Even Angel believes in her. He said he wrote his e-mail address on the bottom, so she looked and found it.
Angel
Guess who? I was happy- shocked, but happy to get your letter in the mail today. It was only three days ago that I wrote you and didn't expect a reply so soon. Don't worry, I'm not disappointed or anything. It was nice reading your letter. I have some good news. Giles has found a school that closed down about four years ago, and is on the market for sale. You should see Giles, he's so excited- he's walking around here on cloud nine!
He also talked to Wesley today about everything. By the sounds of it, Wesley's as eager as Giles to get thing rolling. Not that it's a bad thing, it's just that, well, it appears that they fully expect me to be a watcher. If I decide that I don't want to do it, it's really going to hurt Giles feelings, and I don't know if I can handle the guilt from something like that.
He's got all his hopes pinned on this. Talk about the weight of expectations on your shoulders. I'm not just carrying cinder blocks on my shoulders; I'm carrying an entire building. I guess I'm really just afraid of letting him down.
I'm glad the Wolfram and Hart thing is going so smoothly for you, I was hoping it would. I'm about to get hold of the demon underground and ask them to keep their eyes and ears open on any information about new slayers.
Oh, and thanks for your vote of confidence in me, it really means a lot. And as far as your `letter writing capabilities', you perked up my day! LOL, thanks, I needed that! Looking forward to reading from you again, via cyberspace.
Love Willow
P.S. Keep an excuse handy, you never know when I'm going to need it! LOL
~Part: 4~
Cordelia leaned over and clicked on the mouse button, highlighting what they had just finished.
"See? It's not so tough to do." She said to Angel.
"No, it's not. How long does it take to get used to this thing?"
"It's not a `thing', Angel. It's a computer."
"Okay, okay. So how long does it take to get used to this `computer'?" he asked again.
"Don't worry, it won't take you long to figure it out. I'll show you again, if you like."
"I think I got it. But don't go anywhere just in case." He said as the ex-cheerleader sat down. "Cordy, are you sure your alright? Can I get you anything?"
"Angel, I'm fine." She said as she rolled her eyes. "Please, I'd rather just forget the entire year existed, if you don't mind."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"No, it's okay. I just want things to get back to normal; the sooner the better. Or, as normal as they're gonna be." She finished, and Angel nodded assent.
"You've got mail, You've got mail."
Angel's head snapped back to the screen.
"What the hell was that?"
"The computer just told you that you've got mail. Hence the `You've got mail'? Einstein, sheesh!" she got up and went to him. "First you click here, so that you can read it. Then when you want to reply, click here, then type. When your ready to send it, click her." She said, going through the motions with the mouse. "Think you can handle it?"
"I can take over from here. Thanks Cordy, I really appreciate this."
"Yeah yeah. I'm going back to my room now, so I'll see you later." She said as she opened the door and stepped out, then stopped. "By the way, tell Willow I said hi." And she left, shutting the behind her.
Angel turned back to the screen, and nervously clicked the mouse. Willow's message popped up, much to his relief and he began to read. Basically what her e-mail boiled down too, was that she was at a cross road in her life, and not quite sure which way to go. Angel clicked on the `reply' button and began to type.
Dearest Willow
Before I get started, Cordy asked me to say `hello' for her. Believe it or not, she always did like you, but with her `status' at school- as she puts it, she just couldn't show it. And now, it's more like habit than anything.
I hope you don't take anything she says to heart; because she doesn't really mean it-unless it's something good. She really has changed a lot since high school, and she's become a good friend. I hope that one day you'll feel the same about her as I do.
As far as your current situation goes, just bask in the glory that Giles feels this way about you. Like you said, you have time to think about it; so allow yourself just that-time. When the time is right, then think about it. But do me a favor; think about it from the perspective of what you want, not what everyone else wants. This is your life; you are a grown woman with a mind of your own.
In all honesty, no matter your decision Giles is the type to understand. Granted, that's not to say that he won't be disappointed, but he won't hold it against you either. And he would never let your decision interfere with the friendship you two have. He knows that all he has to do is ask, and you would be there with bells on to help anyway you could.
That's the kind of person you are, and that's why he trusts your judgment. We all do. We trust you to do what you think is best for you, nothing less would do. You are a very special person, Willow Rosenberg! My life wouldn't hold near as much meaning as it does now, if I had never have met you.
You inspire people; you bring out the best in them; in me. I can't speak for everyone else, but I can't thank you enough for allowing me into your life, and giving me your kindness. You mean the world to me, and I'll do everything I can to keep you safe.
Here I go, probably boring you to tears. I can't wait to read your next mail.
Love Angel
P.S. What does LOL mean?
Angel moved the mouse and clicked the send button. He didn't know if it would help or not, but he hoped his words were useful to her in some way. He got up and made his way to his bed, and lay down. The only thought running through his mind at the moment is;
`I miss her.'
~Part: 5~
Willow sat amidst the noise, which had become part of her everyday life. Teenagers with super powers, oy! She tried to have a conversation with Giles a little while ago, but to no avail. With everyone running all over the place, complaining about this or having problems with that, having an intelligent conversation was pointless.
She opted for sitting by the computer waiting for any new information about the possibilities of finding new slayers. `Great,' she thought, `more teenagers.' Her life, as she knew it, was turned upside down; and right now, the computer was the only world that made sense to her.
Even if not in body, she could escape in her mind. It didn't care where she went or what she did; in cyber space the world was her oyster. Problem was, she didn't feel like surfing, so she decided to open her mailer to see if anyone had gotten back to her with any new information.
A nice surprise greeted her eyes as she scanned through the messages. Angel had written a reply already. She couldn't help the smile that came to her lips as she read his message. `He always knows just what to say.' She thought as she continued on.
He was right. Giles would understand if she talked to him. She had made up her mind earlier and tried, but until everyone quiets down and heads to bed, there's no real sense in another attempt, not until later.
Willow got to the P.S. part of the message and busted a gut laughing, causing everyone in the room to turn and stare at her. Willow tried to catch her breath When Buffy made her way over and asked;
"Uh, Will? Something tickle your funny bone?"
"L-O-L!" she spelled out, while wiping the tears from her eyes.
"A-B-C." Buffy replied, causing Willow to start laughing again. "Wills, calm down. What on earth is so funny?"
"L-O-L is computer talk for `laughing out loud'." She replied, still snickering.
"Okaaaaay. And the joke is?"
"Angel didn't know what it meant. See, I typed him an e-mail earlier today to thank him for his letter. In it I said something I thought was funny, and wrote L-O-L. But I forgot that Angel didn't know what that meant. So he wrote me a reply, then asked me what it was." She finished, a big grin on her face.
"Oh."
"Yeah, it's a computer thing."
"So, Angel wrote you? Is everything alright? Anything I need to know about?"
"Nope, everything is fine." Willow said as she shut down the mailer.
"A-aren't you going to write him back?"
"Well, sure. Just not right now. I'll get to it later." Said the red head.
"If its because I'm standing here, I can go find something to do; give you a little privacy."
"Buffy, its fine, really. I have to talk to Giles about something that's all. I'll write him later, it's no big." She said as she got up and went to the kitchen to get herself a bottle of water from the fridge. She watched Buffy stare at her laptop for a minute, then move on to find something else to do.
"Oh, I say, Willow."
"Yes, Giles?"
"I've been going over some of the plans and I'd like to get your input on it. I-if you wouldn't mind?"
"Giles, would you mind if we sat outside on the step? There's something I want to talk to you about. And it's kinda, you know, private."
"Of course." He replied with a quizzical look as he gestured to the door. As the two made their way outside, Buffy bolted for the window until she saw them, then quickly went to the computer.
She moved the mouse so the screen would appear, but a little box sat there, asking for a password. `A password? Doesn't Willow trust us?' she asked herself. The blonde decided not to bother, she didn't know what the password was, and really didn't know how to find out.
She went back to the window and peaked between the curtains, and saw Giles back suddenly straighten.
* * * * * *
"This is really hard for me to talk about, but I feel that it's important and something we should discuss."
"Go ahead, Willow. I'm listening. You know you can talk to me about anything."
"I know, and thanks. It's about this whole `being a watcher' thing."
"Oh, my dear girl. If you're worried about you capabilities, then there is nothing for you to fear. I truly believe you will make a wonderful watcher."
"No, you don't understand. I'm not sure that's what I want to do. You have no idea how proud I feel that you think I'm good enough for something like this. What you think of me matters a lot to me."
"But?"
"But," she took a deep breath, "no one ever asked me if it's something that I wanted to do."
"Oh Willow! I am truly sorry! I'm afraid I was somewhat remiss in my judgment. I just assumed with Sunnydale gone, and all the new slayers…" he let that sentence trail off. "I-I should have asked you first. Please, accept my apologies."
"Giles, I'm not mad or anything like that. I was more worried about upsetting `you'." She said with a smile.
"Upsetting me? Whatever for? Willow, you are an intelligent woman who has the capacity to make up her own mind."
"I was afraid I'd disappointment you and hurt your feelings, a- and I didn't know if I could live with that."
"Willow, being a watcher was my calling and it was my obligation to fulfill it. It is not yours. I'm sorry if I made you feel pressured into doing something you don't want to do. I find I'm rather ashamed of my behavior in this matter." He said as his head drooped a little.
"No Giles. It's not that I `don't want' to be a watcher. In fact I'm honored that you thought I was good enough, and I guess it's sorta natural that everyone thought that I'd be one. I just don't know if I `do' want to be one. Do you understand what I'm getting at?"
"Yes, I do. And of course I thought you to be good enough. Our techniques may differ some, but on the whole you and I think a lot alike. That is why I have always treated you differently from the others. I treated you as an equal; you are my equal."
"You know, Buffy said something along the same lines to me this morning." And they both chuckled.
"I want you to know, that you can come to me anytime to discuss this further."
"I don't know if I've ever told you this, Giles. But I love you." She watched the mans back suddenly straighten, and laughed. "Don't worry, I didn't mean in a romantic way. I don't really know how to describe my feelings for you. My love for you is more than that for a father figure or a friend; but it has nothing to do with a romantic relationship." She finished and saw him relax.
"I too, feel the same about you. I wonder if it is because we are so much alike, you and I, and have so much in common? I can't discuss things with the others, even about mundane demons without dumbing it down. With you, it's like there's a connection allowing us to understand one another."
"Whatever it is, I hope we never lose it." She said as Giles put an arm around her shoulders and she laid her head against him.
A blonde haired slayer left the window with a smile on her face.
~Part: 6~
Dear Angel
I've had the most exciting day ever! I read your e-mail, and you were right; Giles did understand. I told him everything about my feelings of being a watcher, about how honored I am that he thought that much of me-all of it. We sat outside on the steps to talk, given that it's the only privacy we'd have been able to get. It was so nice; we sat and talked for almost two hours!
We talked about all the things we liked, what our expectations used to be and how they've changed over the years. You wouldn't believe just how much Giles and I have in common with each other. You should have seen his reaction when I told him that I love him.
At first he just sat up straight, then his face went sort of blank; you know, like the way Buffy looks when we're all researching something important? Kinda like that. I couldn't help it, I laughed at him.
He did relax after a minute and then we talked about our feelings for each other. It's more than just a father/daughter kind of love we share; and really, we aren't even sure how to describe it. But we can say that it's not an `I love you, will you marry me' kinda thing either.
You know, now that I think about it, it's sort of left me wondering if we we're siblings or something in another life. I mean, Giles and I have our differences and all, be we really are a lot alike. Well, you know me-if it's silly, I'll think about it. LOL.
Anyway, I told Giles that I would help in any way I can, no matter what my decision is. And he was happy with that. It's nice to have someone respect your feelings when it comes to things that matter to you. And I have to say; I'm the luckiest girl in the world. After all, I have you and Giles in my life! I wish I could say that I still had Xander though.
He just hasn't been the same after everything that's happened; not that I blame him. He's just sorta shut himself away from everybody- even me. I guess it's to be expected; he's still trying to come to terms with losing an eye, and losing Anya. You know, I do miss her.
I admit that at first, I didn't like her; in fact, I hated her. But over the last three years I had the chance to get to know her, and by the end I really liked her. I remember when Buffy was going to try and kill Anya. It was horrible. It's one of the few times that I really disagreed with Buffy on how to handle things.
I tried to help, so I went to D'Hoffrin. But what was I supposed to do? I couldn't just let Buffy kill her; and she would have if I didn't do something. Well, anyway, water under the bridge now.
I should let you go; even in cyber space I have a tendency to ramble on. I was thinking of coming down for a visit in a couple of weeks. Is that okay with you? I asked Giles about it and if he could spare me for about a week, and he said he could manage things just fine.
Let me know what you think, and then I can make arrangements. I miss you.
Love Willow
P.S. LOL means `Laughing Out Loud'. Oh, and tell Cordelia I said `hi' back.
Angel let out a deep, unneeded breath. `She wants to come back.' If his heart had a beat, it would be pounding out of his chest right about now. He had so missed her company, but didn't want to say anything about it to her.
At first he was worried as he read about her discussion with Giles, talks of the feelings they held for each other. A heavy feeling had invaded his chest as he read along, until he read the part about it not being a romantic feeling.
The past life thing made him smile-only she would have thought of something like that. He loved the way her mind worked. He loved her, pure and simple. He couldn't bring himself to tell her, she knew his feelings and he didn't want to push her into anything she wasn't ready for.
But that's alright; he told her he'd wait. After all, he has all the time in the world-he could afford to let her have some. A soft knock at the door brought Angel out of his thoughts about the red head.
"Come in."
The door opened and Cordelia peeked her head through.
"Hey. Am I disturbing you?"
"Of course not, come on in." he replied, and the ex-cheerleader walked into the room and sat down. "What's up?"
"Nothing. Just came to see what you were up to and… and to apologize."
"Apologize for what?"
"I didn't mean to be so short with you earlier. I was…"
"Hey, no; it's fine." He interrupted. Cordelia smiled and left it alone, changing the subject as she looked to the computer.
"A message from Willow?"
"Hmmm? Yeah. She told me to tell you `hello'." He said, and got a smile in response. "You and Willow. Have you two ever thought of being `real' friends?"
"You've got to be kidding!" she exclaimed.
"Why not? I don't understand the problem."
"There is no problem, Angel. This is our relationship, that's it- that's all."
"I still don't see why it couldn't change for the better."
"See, you don't understand the way it is. Willow and I `are' friends in the only way that's comfortable for us. Maybe to people who don't know us that well, it doesn't seem like it. But this is the way we get along. It's been this way since time began."
"I think you're right, I don't understand." He said, causing the brunette to give an exasperated sigh.
"Look at it this way, if you're used to doing things a certain way it becomes comfortable. To change the way you do things throws it off, most of the time for the worst-not the best. It's the same with our friendship. This is what we know. I like Willow, a lot. But if we change what we have, we could lose the friendship altogether."
"Maybe, but it could also make it better."
"Sure, you're right. But what if it doesn't? Would you be willing to risk losing what you have, just on the chance that it might be better?"
"Maybe."
"Well, I'm not, and neither is Willow. I would rather keep what we have, than take the chance on not having it at all."
"Okay, you win. Point taken."
"Well, now that I've had my fill of this `lovely' conversation, I'm going back to my room." She said as she stood to leave, but stopped when she reached the door and turned to him. "You love her, don't you?"
"What makes you say that?" he asked and watched her shrug.
"I'm not as `unenlightened', as Wesley puts it, as people think I am."
"Yeah," he nodded "I love her."
"Yup, thought so." And she walked out the door she said, "I hope it works out for you." And the door closed.
"So do I." He said to himself as he turned to the keyboard and began to type out his reply.
~Part: 7~
Dearest Willow
I would love for you to come for another visit; for as long as you like. I have to say that I've missed your company lately, ever since you and I started conversing back and forth. I'm also happy to read that you and Giles finally talked about your feeling of being a watcher.
See, I told you everything would be alright. Giles is a reasonable man, and is willing to listen. There is a lot of wisdom held in that man's head that you could learn a lot from; I could learn a lot from, and I hold a lot of respect for him. Given the past that he and I share with Angelus, he's overcome it far better than I did.
I'm sorry to hear about Anya, I didn't know; nor did I know about Xander's eye. Buffy asked me to leave and go back to L.A. before I had the chance to see anyone. Please, if you could send Xander my regards? I know I'm not his favorite person in the world, but if he ever needs anything let me know.
Don't worry yourself about Xander; he's a pretty tough individual to crack. We all face some earth-shattering setbacks in our lives from time to time, but even with these odds, Xander will pull through just fine. He just needs time, and good friends who will be there for him.
I would love for you to tell me about all the events that happened, as I don't really know much about it, other than the little you told me of while you were here. I didn't want to pressure you into talking more about it; I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. Besides, you seemed at the time to want to forget about everything for a little while.
Not much has been going on here. All's quiet on the demon front right now. I guess the `First' put a bit of a scare into them, so they're all going to sit quiet for a while. Not that I'm complaining, mind you; it's a nice change of pace.
Cordelia is doing much better. She's not quite back to her old self yet, but that will come in time. I know this last year has taken its toll on everyone, so it's time for the healing to begin, slow as it may be.
I think I will sign off here. I'm looking forward to you coming back- I've rather missed having someone to walk with on the beach. Anyway, send my best to everyone-and take care.
Love Angel
Willow finished reading the e-mail and sat back, trying to decide whether to answer him now or later.
"Another message from Angel?" Buffy asked, startling Willow.
"Yup."
"Boy, you two sure write a lot to each other."
"Yeah, I guess we do."
"I'm surprised you two haven't run out of things to say to each other yet. What on earth do you talk about? I mean, you guys talk to each other all the time." Said the slayer, causing Willow to raise an eyebrow.
"We're friends, what's wrong with writing each other?"
"Nothing, it's just that if you keep it up, people will get the wrong impression."
"Wrong impression? About what, if I may ask?" Willow asked impatiently.
"Oh, come on Will. You know."
"No, I'm afraid I don't. Why don't you tell me?"
"Well, people are going to start thinking that you and Angel have a relationship."
"Is that what you think, Buffy? That Angel and I have something going?" said the red head, anger rising.
"Of course not! I know better, but that doesn't mean everyone else will understand."
"Buffy, after everything we've been through over the last year, no-make that almost eight years now, at any rate, I don't really care what people think of me anymore. I'm not going to quit talking to Angel just because `someone' might get the wrong impression of what's going on."
"It's just that…"
"No! I'm tired of doing what everyone wants me to do. I'm doing what I want to do, no matter what you or anyone else thinks. Angel's my friend, like it or not, and I'll talk to him as often as I want. End of discussion." She said as she shut down her laptop. "Now if you'll excuse me, I told Giles I'd help him in some of the planning for the new `Watcher's Society'."
With that said, Willow made her way over to Giles and sat on the couch beside him.
"I couldn't help overhear your conversation with Buffy." He said softly.
"I'd be surprised if anyone didn't hear it." She sighed, "Giles, would you mind if I left earlier than we planned? Don't worry, I'll show you how to use my computer. This way, you and I can still talk back and forth on the planning and everything- and we might be able to relax a little more."
"Yes, quite. I foresee no problems with you leaving early."
"Thanks, Giles." She replied as she laid her head against his shoulder. "What would I do without you?"
"Without me?" he chuckled, "Honestly, I have no answer for you." He said, as he wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. "But, lets be sure to never find out."
"It's a deal!"
* * * * * * *
The blonde slayer looked at the couple sitting on the couch and smiled to herself.
`Yeah," she thought to herself, `things are looking up.'
~Part: 8~
Willow tapped lightly on the door, but received only silence in answer. Turning the knob and slowly opening the door, she peeked her head through.
"Xander." She whispered, but received no reply. "Xander, are you sleeping?"
"Yes."
Willow smiled to herself and walked into the room, making sure to close the door behind her so that they could have some semblance of privacy. She quietly went to him and seated herself on the edge of the bed, and caressed his head in a show of support and friendship.
"Wills, please. I really don't feel like company right now."
"I'm not company."
"You know what I mean."
"Yup, your right. I do." She said. He slowly turned his head her way and looked at her with the saddest eyes she has ever seen.
"Your not going to leave, are you?"
"Nope." She said with a slight smile as he nodded. The red head stood up and gave his shoulder a light shove, saying; "Move over."
"What?"
"I said, move over. Should I say it a little more slowly for you? I can if you like." She joked. The young man sighed and shuffled over, allowing her to lay down on the bed and spoon with him.
"I don't feel like talking, if that's what your after."
"Did I say anything?"
"No."
"Then shut up and let me do the friendship `I'm there for you' thing. Alright?" Xander didn't say anything, but she knew she had gotten him to smile, even if it was just a small one. After a moment, he took her hand in his and hugged her arm tightly to his chest, and Willow could feel his body jerking a little as he tried to hold back the sobs.
The red head just lie there and let him cry it out, knowing that this was probably the first time he allowed himself to do so. She wasn't sure how much time went by before he quieted down again and sniffed.
"I'm sorry, I d-didn't mean to do that. I just couldn't hold it in anymore."
"Shhh, it's okay. That's what I'm here for. I'm always here for you." She kissed the back of his head.
"I know. I just didn't want to put you through this. Y-you've been through enough in the last year and…" but she interrupted.
"Xander, you're forgetting something."
"What?"
"You're forgetting that I know exactly what you're going through. I went through this too. I know what your feeling. You're hurting, and you're angry. You want to strike out, but have nothing to strike out at." She said, and he moved away and rolled over so that he could face her.
"I miss her so much." He said, and she took his hand in hers.
"I know you do."
"There's nothing you can say that will make this go away; make it better." He said as a tear slid down his cheek, landing on the pillow.
"I know that too. There is nothing that will make it better, but I can promise you that it will get easier. There will come a day when you will think of her, and yes, you'll still miss her-but you'll remember all the good times you two shared. And it will make you smile."
"It doesn't feel that way."
"No, it doesn't. Not yet. It will take time for that. But I promise you, it will happen one day."
"Do, do you still think about her?"
"Tara?" she nodded, "Everyday. But at least now when I think of her, I can smile. I remember the walks through the park holding hands, little picnics we used to have. Skipping class to go back to our dorm room to make love to each other."
"You? You skipped class?" he was surprised.
"Um hmm. Believe it or not, more than once." They both laughed. She caressed the side of his face. "There's my Xander. I knew you were hiding in there somewhere."
"Will?"
"Yeah?"
"Promise me you'll always be with me?"
"Xander, I promise I'll always be with you. And if I can't be here physically just remember; I'll always be right here." She finished, laying her hand on his chest above his heart.
"I love you, ya know."
"I know."
"What would I do without you?"
"Live." Was her simple response.
"I don't think I could without you in my life."
"Don't underestimate yourself. You could, and you would."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because, Xander Harris. I know you too damned well." She said. "Come on. I'll make you some cocoa. How's that sound?"
"I think it sounds like a great idea." He said, and they both got up and left the room.
"Oh hey. You finally decided to join the world of the living!" Buffy said, as Willow rolled her eyes at the blonde's choice of words.
"Yeah, I did." He replied, determined to keep the good mood he was in as Willow left him to start warming up the milk for the cocoa.
"Wow! Smiling and everything, I'm impressed. So what gave you the `happy'?"
"Willow did." He said, and walked away with a smirk as Buffy's jaw hit the floor.
~Part: 9~
Xander was slowly coming around as the days went by. It had only been about three days since Willow had talked to him and let him cry it out. He wasn't completely back to normal yet, but he was definitely making progress, much to the delight of Willow and Giles.
"Xander, I have been thinking quite a lot about this as of late. I was wondering; how would you feel about training the new slayers that arrive? I realize that it will be quite the undertaking on your part, but I think you would make an excellent teacher." Giles asked, and Xander looked at him totally slack-jawed.
"You're kidding, right?"
"Quite the contrary. You fight as well as I do, maybe better given the fact that you have youth on you're side. Something I didn't have when I became Buffy's watcher."
"You're really serious about this, aren't you?"
"I wouldn't have asked you otherwise. You could continue with the slayers that have remained with us, once we move of course. Then they themselves can take over and you would be free to become a watcher. I would be more than happy to teach you all that you would need to know." Xander was so much in shock, that he couldn't find his voice.
"Is that a `yes' then?"
Xander just stared at the older man for a moment before turning his attention to Willow, who was grinning from ear to ear.
"Did you put him up to this?" he asked her.
"Nope, this is the first I've heard about it." She replied, and the young man turned his attention back to Giles.
"Why on earth would you want me to do this? Hell, I don't even have two eyes anymore."
"Because I know you would do this to the best of your ability. You don't need two eyes to teach someone to fight. You don't need two eyes to give out advice. You don't need two eyes to earn a slayers trust." Giles paused, and placed a hand on the young man's shoulder. "I have faith in you, I trust you. Will you accept the offer for which it was intended?"
Xander was beside himself-ready to explode with pride, he held out his hand for Giles to shake and said;
"I'd be honored to do whatever I can to help." He said, and Giles beamed with excitement.
"Wonderful!" he was almost giddy. "You and I can go over the plans, and we can keep Willow informed on our progression with the computer or telephone. I have many ideas that I would like you're input on. For instance…"
Willow allowed her mind to drift as she watched the two discussing some of the many plans and ideas Giles was speaking off. `My Xander is almost back.' She thought, not hearing a word they were saying. She was happy. Life was good. Not great-but definitely good.
Willow looked down at her watch and saw the time.
"I hate to interrupt, but it's time for me to get going." She lowered her voice to just above a whisper. "Thanks for not telling Buffy where I'm going."
"It's quite alright, Willow. No need to thank us. I fully understand you're reticence in this matter."
"Yeah, you have nothing to worry about."
"You're sure you don't mind me borrowing your car, Xander?"
"No, I don't mind. You just make sure you have a good time." He said. She leaned over and kissed him, then Giles on the cheek. "Thank you guys so much."
"You are very welcome."
"C'mon, Willster. I'll walk you to the car." Said Xander as he took her bag and carried it.
"Oooh, quite the gentleman, aren't we?" she said and the young man laughed as they walked out the door. "You can tell Buffy where I am after I'm gone, you know. I just didn't want her knowing about this beforehand. She's been acting a little jealous about Angel lately."
"Does she have a reason to be acting this way?" he asked, but all she did was shrug a shoulder. He gave her a sidelong glance at her silence, and continued walking to the car parked in front of the small house.
Xander opened the trunk and placed her bag in it, then closed the lid and turned to her.
"You didn't answer my question."
"You noticed." She smiled weakly.
"Does Buffy have a reason to be jealous? Do you have feelings for dead-boy?"
"Okay, yes." She relented. "If you want to know the whole truth, Angel loves me." She said, and waited for his response.
"And how do you feel about him?"
"I-I'm not really sure yet. I care for him, a lot. At any rate, it doesn't matter. I told him I'm not ready for our friendship to be anything more than just friendship. Angel's okay with that."
"And if you decide you want more? Have you taken into account the little clause that goes with his curse?"
"You remember when I went to L.A. to give Angel his soul back?"
"Yeah. What about it?" he asked curiously.
"I bound it to him. He can't lose it anymore. I kinda made the curse null and void." She said sheepishly. All Xander could do was stand there, mouth agape. "I didn't want us to come across another apocalypse sometime in the future, `and' have to worry about Angelus showing up again."
"Better safe than sorry?"
"You got it."
"So, that means you two could have a life together if you wanted too."
"Yup."
"So, do you want too?"
"I don't know. I haven't had much time to think about it. All I do know is that I don't want to right now. Maybe a little further down the road, but not now."
"It's never been a secret how I feel about him, you know that." She nodded. "But, I'll be behind you one hundred per cent-no matter what your decision is." He finished. She couldn't help herself and gave him a huge bear hug.
"I love you, Xander."
"I know you do. Now, get going. I'll see you when you get back."
"You ever need anything," she said as she climbed in behind the wheel, "don't hesitate to call."
"The only thing I need is for you to get back here safe and sound. Be careful."
"Always." She said with a wink. She turned the key, put it in gear, and was off.
~Part: 10~
Willow walked through the glass double doors with her bag slung over her shoulder, and headed towards the front desk.
"Ahhh, Miss Rosenberg. It's nice to see you again." Said the familiar looking man behind the desk.
"How did you know my name?" she asked, a little worry etched in her face.
"I'm Alan. I was here when you came and inquired about Mr. Angel."
"But that was almost two months ago."
"One never forgets the face of a beautiful young woman. Especially one that can make Mr. Angel smile. I've never seen anyone who could accomplish that feet, except for you, my dear." He said, and she visibly relaxed.
"I made Mr. Broody smile? Yay me." And they both chuckled.
"Would you like a room then, Miss Rosenberg?"
"Yes, and please, call me Willow."
"As you wish, Miss Willow." He finished, and took her information, and assigned her a room closed to Angel's. "Would you like me to inform Mr. Angel of your arrival?"
"No thanks." She replied as she took the key card held out to her. "He knows I'm on my way. I'll just go up and surprise him. But thank you."
"You are quite welcome. Please, enjoy you're stay with us."
"I'm sure I will. Night Alan."
"Goodnight, Miss Willow." He replied as the elevator door closed. He shook his head and sighed. "He is a very lucky man." And went back about his work.
* * * * * * * *
Willow arrived at her room and decided to grab a quick shower to wash off the dust from her travels. The hot water was invigorating and washed away a little of the fatigue she was feeling. She couldn't lie to herself, even if she had laid down for a nap she would not have been able to sleep. She was in the grip of excitement over seeing Angel again, and there was no way she would be able to rest until she saw him.
It was just like the last time she was here-the butterflies in her stomach and the feeling of walking on air. She couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he answerd the door only to see her standing there.
Willow hurried as fast as she could to get dressed and brush out and dry her hair. But it wasn't long before she was walking down the hall and knocking on his door.
"Come in."
Willow stood silent and unmoving, waiting for him to personally answer. She knocked again and within a few seconds the door opened to reveal a stunned Angel.
"Hi, it's me." Said the red head with a smile and a quick wave. It took the vampire a bit to recover, but when he did he reached out his arms and swept her up in a hug. "Uh, Angel? I'm still human, and I need to breath." She said and he quickly released her.
"Sorry." He said, with a big grin. "It's, I'm just so glad to see you." And Willow beamed at his words. It was so nice to feel wanted again, even if she wasn't ready to return his feelings just yet. "Come in." he gestured and moved aside to allow her to enter.
"It's so nice to be back again." She said sincerely. "I've missed you."
"How much energy do you have?"
"Why?" she asked, brows furrowing.
"I was thinking of taking a walk on the beach. Care to join me?" he asked, extending his arm for her to take.
"Well, I'd be delighted, kind sir." She said in a rather bad imitation of a southern belle, and taking his offered arm.
* * * * * * *
They walked along the beach under a full moon, saying nothing as they listened to the sounds of the waves against the shoreline, hand in hand. Angel pointed to an outcropping of rocks, and giving her hand a little tug, took her to it. Angel climbed up first, then turned to take Willow's hand and pull her up to him. And for long moments they stood and stared out at the moonlight shining on the water.
Willow rest her back against his chest and sighed as he wrapped his strong arms around her, holding her and enjoying the closeness. He rest his head atop hers and deeply inhaled her scent, finding it intoxicating. At the moment he wanted nothing more than to turn her around, hold her close and kiss her.
He wasn't sure how to proceed at this point. He didn't want to anger her, didn't want her to feel as if he was pushing her into something she wasn't ready for yet. So he stood silent and still, doing nothing that would ruin her first night back. Nothing but holding her close to him and listening to her heart beat.
He marveled at the way she felt, so small and frail in his arms, someone to be protected. Though he knew her to be anything but in need of protection.
"Willow?"
"Mm hmm?"
"Tell me about Anya, your friendship with her?" he asked. He felt her chest move, taking in a deep breath and letting it out before she moved from his arms.
"Sit." She said. "This could get lengthy." And he released her, both moving to sit upon the hard rock beneath them.
"I know she was Xander's girlfriend."
"You have met her before."
"I did? When?"
"Do you remember when the Vampire Willow came from another reality and we had to send her back? Well, the girl that was there helping Giles and me do the spell was Anya."
"The demon?"
"Yup. She was the reason Vampire Me was here in the first place. Now you know why none of us liked her at first. Well, later on she and Xander got together and eventually fell in love. The rest of us still didn't like her. She was just so blunt when she was talking, and she was always talking about sex, and the longer we knew her, the more annoying she became."
"Well, I suppose that would make for an interesting conversation." He chuckled.
"Yeah, well, you didn't have to listen to her all the time. I think sex was the only thing she ever thought about-that is until later. Then it was sex and money. At any rate, her and Xander were going to get married, but this whole big thing went on right before the wedding and Xander backed out."
"Yikes."
"Uh huh. After that they couldn't get along. Actually they had only just started to be civil with each other for the last few weeks before she was killed."
"So, if you didn't like her in the first place, what made you change your mind?"
"It took me a while to realize. She tried telling us once, but Buffy's mom had just died so no one was in a listening kind of mood at the time."
"What was she trying to tell you?"
"In a nutshell, she didn't know how to be human, and that she was doing her best to learn." She sighed, and the sadness was very evident in her voice. "You know, she spent over eleven hundred years avoiding death-immortal, only to die as a human while trying to save a world full of humans."
"Human is what she became. I think she died knowing she was trying to give something back to the Scooby's- to you."
"You know what's funny? I considered her to be more of a human being than most of the humans I've met in my life." She laughed, but Angel noticed it wasn't its usual tinkling sound. "She was honest, about everything. I think that's what threw us off with her for the first while, she always told the truth."
"How is Xander handling all this?" he asked, and saw her face brighten just a little.
"He's going to be okay." She looked at Angel as a tear slid down her face. "Giles just asked him today about; he wants Xander to train the slayers, and then when things get settled down a little more he will become a watcher."
"Sounds like things are starting to look up."
"Yeah. Xander's not totally `Xander' yet, but he will be. I'm not as worried about him as I was." And she wiped the tears away. "Angel? I'd kinda like to go back to the hotel. I'm getting a little tired-long drive you know."
"Of course. I should have thought of that before I mentioned taking a walk."
"No, its okay. It was nice to talk about her again. Anya's a subject that no one wants to discuss."
"Come on, little one. Let's get you back."
"I really am glad to be here."
"I'm glad you're here too."