~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 31~
For the next three days, Willow had closed herself off from everyone, and since she no longer went to the dining hall to eat, Andrew brought her meals to her. He would set a fresh plate of food down and remove the plate from the previous meal, still untouched.
The young man had told the others, and each time someone would come to see her, she would simply say; "I'm really busy right now, and have a lot of work to catch up on." Even the girls tried to talk to her, but she would put them off with the same excuse.
They knew she wasn't eating from the reports Andrew would give them, and were pretty sure she wasn't sleeping. But not knowing what else to do, everyone decided it best to leave her be and let her work through this on her own-at least for the time being. But upon the third day, everyone gathered together around a gravesite dressed in black, listening to a priest drone on about a girl he had never even met.
Willow looked around at the group assembled, not even listening to the priest's words. Jenna and Andrew were huddled together as the young man tried to just hold her close and comfort her with soft words.
Giles and Xander stood on either side of her with Buffy-who had flown in the day before, on Giles other side. But as Xander placed a hand on Willow's shoulder, she quickly brushed it off. Moments later Giles attempted to do the same, but again she would have none of it and brushed his hand away also.
The priest finally finished his speech, much to her relief, and asked if anyone would like to say a few words. At this, Erin moved forward and the balding man stepped out of the way to allow her to the front to speak.
"Carol was my best friend, and as all of you know, Carol didn't make friends easily so I consider my friendship with her to be a real honor. Some of you weren't here yet when Carol first came to us, well let me tell you-you're the lucky ones." She paused to snicker, though it was a half-hearted attempt. "She was mean and rude, and I think the best way to describe her back then was `nasty'. But eventually she gained our respect and we gained hers, and over time she let us see a side of her we didn't know she had. When she finally decided to let us in, we got the chance to see a girl who was smart and kind, and when she chose me to be her best friend, I was totally blown away. Because of her reputation, she didn't want it known that she wrote poetry, but she did, and she would get so excited because Mr. Giles and Miss Rosenberg would let her come to their poetry readings on Friday nights." She paused to wipe her tears away. "I will always remember her laughter whenever I told her a really bad joke, and her tears she shared with me when telling me about her life growing up. She was an amazing person, and I wish all of you could've had the chance to see what I did, what she was really like. If you were her friend, there was nothing on earth that she wouldn't do for you. I'll miss you, Carol." She said, and looked down at the hole in the ground where the coffin lay. "I love you." At those last words, Erin broke down, as did the others, and Patty came and put her arms around her and led her back to the group.
"This concludes the service. Refreshments will be served upon arrival at Cardiff Castle, so if everyone would proceed in that direction." Said the priest, and everyone turned to head off to the castle for the reception. It was an incredibly cold day, but Willow felt nothing as she turned to leave. A hand reached out and gently grabbed her arm, but without looking to see who it was, she yanked her arm away and continued walking.
"Willow, wait." But Willow didn't stop at the sound of Buffy's voice. "Please, I want to talk to you." The red head stopped but didn't turn around, so Buffy moved in front of her. "Will, I'm so sorry about Carol."
"You're sorry?"
"I know how you felt about her. I liked her too."
"Don't try and tell me that you know how I feel. You don't know me; you don't know me at all."
"Wills, I just wanted………."
"I don't care what you want. You wanna know something funny? All these years you thought the world revolved around you. Well, I guess it does. You finally made me a believer of it because my slayer is dead, and the reasons go all the way back to you."
"That's not true! I had nothing to do with this. It was a vamp attack, something a slayer deals with every night of her life."
"Oh, Buffy. You really don't know anything, or maybe it's that you didn't care enough to find out the truth. Either way, I don't care anymore."
"Willow, I came here to honor Carol's memory, and I wanted to get your friendship back."
"Well, it's like the line in the song says, `you can't always get what you want'." Willow smirked at her. "At least, not this time. All you wanted before was a `working relationship'; congratulations, that's all you've got." And Willow walked away, leaving the blonde standing there.
Giles and Xander had stayed a small distance back to allow the girls to talk, but still close enough to hear how the conversation went. They both came up to her and Xander placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Look, Buff. Now's just not the best time for this, she's still grieving. You know, she wanted your friendship back once before, she'll want it again."
"I don't know about that, Xand. She seemed kinda mad." She frowned. "Although, for someone who blames me for Carol's death, she wasn't as emotional as I would've expected."
"Yeah, well, Willow hasn't been showing the world much in the way of emotions lately-or herself for that matter. This is actually the first time she showed anything at all." Replied the young man.
"Xander, do be a good lad and go back to the castle? I would appreciate it if you could keep an eye on her."
"Sure. What about you two?"
"We shall be there momentarily. There are some things I wish to discuss with Buffy first."
"Okay. See you in a bit then." And he was off, leaving the two to talk.
"Giles, I don't understand what's going on. Why is Willow blaming me for Carol's death? I wasn't even here."
"Where do I begin?" he said sadly.
"How about the beginning?"
"The beginning it is then." He said. "It appears that Kennedy disliked Carol from the moment she found out that Carol was to be Willow's slayer."
"Oh no."
"Yes. There were times, in your class, that you would pair the two as sparring partners?"
"Well, yeah. Everyone was paired up."
"And I understand that. But Kennedy would get a little overzealous during practice."
"None of the girls said anything to me about it."
"No, Buffy, they did not. In fact, she said nothing to no one about it."
"If she was bullying the girls………….."
"That's just it, she wasn't………..it was just Carol that she behaved with in this manner, and Carol swore them all to secrecy with the hopes of not making the problem worse."
"Oh god."
"Precisely. But upon moving here and Kennedy taking over the position of teacher, it did worsen, and in the most despicable way possible."
"How?" Buffy asked, already dreading what she was about to hear.
"The only time we noticed anything was at the breakfast table one morning. Carol had sat down with a black eye, but when asked about it she told us that she forgot to duck in her defensive training class. There were many other injuries that we had no knowledge of. But what was actually the catalyst for Carol's death was going out on patrol with broken ribs. The vampire had hit her numerous times, and her ribs ended up puncturing her lung."
"Kennedy did this to her?"
"She did."
"But I still don't see how Willow could hold me responsible."
"Not only did you bring her to us, but Kennedy's defense to the girls when doing all of this was, `always be prepared'." He finished, and Buffy blanched at his words. "I must admit that I, too, am having a hard time of this as I was quite fond of Carol."
"I'm so sorry, Giles. I never expected anything like this to happen."
"I realize this, Buffy. But because of your immature behavior and petty jealousy, someone has died as a result. Both of you abused the very people you considered friends and family. You with your emotions, and Kennedy with her power. I'm sorry, but I find that a hard thing to forgive."
"I've lost you too, you and Willow."
"Though I can't speak on Willow's behalf, you haven't lost me. However, it will take some time for me to fully trust you again." He said and she looked up at him.
"I can wait." She said. "I can wait as long as you and Willow need me to."
~Part: 32~
The reception was a sullen event, and quiet murmurings could be heard throughout the main living area. The girls talked among themselves about Carol, but would periodically look over at Willow before quickly averting their eyes.
She sat in an armchair staring at her hands folded in her lap, never once bothering to look up at the people around her. Xander had stuck close by for quite a while, practically hovering over her until she grew tired of it and told him to stop.
Xander obliged, but didn't stray far from her until he noticed Giles and Buffy walk through the door. They watched as the brunette walked in their direction and saw the look of concern etched in his face, and knew that Willow wasn't any better than before.
"How is Willow doing?" the older man asked anyway.
"'Bout the same. Although, I did manage to get her to say something."
"Oh? And what was that?"
"Xander, would you leave me the hell alone." He replied with a shrug.
"That's enough. It's been three days, and now it's time to do something."
"What are you gonna do, Giles?" Xander asked.
"I have absolutely no idea as yet, but I will think of something." And he stalked off in Willow's direction, leaving Xander and Buffy to look at each other and wonder.
"Willow."
"Not now, Giles."
"Yes, now. I believe it is time that you and I talked."
"I don't feel like talking." She looked around her. "I shouldn't even be here, I have so much work to finish with getting more books duplicated and………….."
"I think your work can wait, given the circumstances."
"Well that's not all. I have other stuff that………."
"Come with me." He said, and held out a hand to her.
"I don't want to." She replied, and he leaned down closer and spoke softly.
"I said, come with me. That was not a request." At his words, she slowly turned her head to face him.
"Or you'll do what?" her tone filled with anger.
"Are you really sure you want to find out?"
"Don't threaten me, Giles. You know what I'm capable of." She said coldly.
"Indeed, I do. But do you have any idea what exactly `I' am capable of? More importantly, do you really want to find out?" he said seriously. "Those girls over there," he gave a small nod in their direction. "have been through enough with Carol's death, and now they're worried about you as well. Do you wish them to suffer more grief by causing an unnecessary scene?"
"No."
"Then come with me. We will go to your office for some privacy." He straightened and held his hand out once again, but Willow ignored it and stood, then led the way. But upon nearing the door, a servant came out and smiled in relief as she noticed the red head.
"Oh, Miss Willow, there is a phone call for you. I tried to tell him you were in a meeting and couldn't be disturbed, but……….."
"Who is it?"
"He wouldn't say, but he was very insistent that I get you."
"Thank you, Sarah. I'll take it." said Willow, and went to the door.
"Very good, mum." Was the response as Willow disappeared.
"Sarah, you need not finish cleaning the offices today. Would you go around and let the others know that you and the rest of the staff can take the rest of the day off?"
"But sir, what of dinner tonight?"
"There should be enough left over from the reception to tide us over. If not, it will do us no harm to pillage the kitchen for ourselves for an evening."
"Are you sure, sir?"
"I am. Have a good day."
"Thank you sir." She replied and was off. Giles walked through the open door and closed it behind him before he took a seat and waited as the red head's finger hit the `hold' button.
"Hello?"
*Are you ever a hard person to track down!*
"Angel?" she said, and hope flared in her once again.
*Hi, Willow. How are you?*
"When did you get back? How did you case go?" she asked hurriedly, relief flooding her.
*Oh, the uh, the case went fine. You know, the usual, got the bad guy.* he chuckled, but to Willow, the `happy' emotion sounded somewhat forced.
"So what was the case? What happened?"
*The details don't really matter, do they? I'm just glad I got the chance to call you. I've missed you.* but instead of the sound of his voice making her relax, Giles noticed Willow's back stiffen.
"Angel, you're not very good at his game, and I'm in no mood for it. What are you hiding?" she asked, and heard a sigh on the other end. "Angel, tell me."
*You're right. I don't want there to be secrets between us. It's taken me three months to work up the nerve to call you but………….*
"Three months? Are you telling me you were only on that case for `two' months?"
*Willow, some things happened and……….* but she cut him off.
"For crying out loud, Angel! Quit beating around the bush and just tell me!"
*I-I slept with someone else.* Willow almost dropped the phone. *I needed them to think Angelus was back and, well it's complicated. But it didn't mean anything. It's you I love, Willow. What you and I have is real; with her, it was just an act.* he said, and that small spark of hope faded from existence.
"I don't believe this is happening. You have got to be kidding me!"
*Willow, I'm sorry.*
"Yeah, well, it seems to be the year for sorry's, doesn't it?" she said with sarcasm. "And frankly, I just don't have it in me to forgive anymore. I sat here and worried about you for five months, only to just find out that for three of them you were all safe and sound, back in your cozy little office in L.A.! How could you do that to me? And then to turn around and tell me that you slept with someone else!" she yelled, and Giles sat forward in his seat at what she said.
*Willow, please. We can work through this.*
"You wanna know something funny? If you had of called me a week ago and told me this, I probably woulda said `Hey, you're right! We can work through anything!', but now?" she felt sick to her stomach, but inhaled deeply and then spoke again. "Look," she said with forced calm. "I think it would be best if we weren't a couple anymore."
*No, Willow, no. You can't mean that. We can work on this.*
"Maybe you can, but I can't; not anymore. We can't do our jobs properly if we are constantly worrying about each other and about what we do-it just gets in the way and interferes with our jobs. And until our positions can allow us to be together, I think this is the best solution for both of us."
*You don't really want this-I don't want this. Willow, we can discuss this and find…………..*
"No, we can't. Angel, I think this conversation is over."
*I don't want to lose you! We can't end it like this-I don't want what we have to end.*
"Look on the bright side of things; now if you have to sleep with someone else, you won't have anything to feel guilty about." and with that, she slammed the receiver down. Giles immediately got up and started looking around the office all the while Willow stood in place, absolutely void of any emotion.
"Come with me." He said, and as if on automation, Willow obligingly followed behind. The voices in the main area silenced as two passed by and headed up the stairs, but began again when they were out of eyesight. "Please, come in-sit down." He pointed to the sofa upon entering his room and busied himself with two glasses and a decanter.
He poured two fingers worth of the amber liquid into the glasses and handed one to Willow, which she took and downed in two gulps. She coughed as the liquid slid down and burned her throat and then held out her glass for more, but instead he took the glass and set it down.
"I want another one."
"Getting drunk will not solve anything."
"Really, Giles? Never stopped you from trying." She sneered.
"I have never gotten drunk to forget. To pass out so as not to think about anything, yes; but never to be drunk." He moved to the bottom corner of his bed and sat down facing her. "Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what? I'm not doing anything but sitting here, wishing I had another drink."
"Yes, you are. You're shutting out everyone who cares about you, who loves you."
"Loves me? For people who love me, they sure love to see me cry."
"I haven't seen you do that as of late either."
"And what good would it do me? Love." She said snidely. "Let me tell you all about the love, Giles. Oz loved me, and left. I brought Buffy back from the dead hoping to save her from an eternity in a hell dimension, and was blamed for pulling her out of heaven. Granted, that `was' my fault, but she put no thought or thanks in it when she knew I was trying to save her from hell. And you………"
"What about me?" he asked surprised.
"Oh, nothing, except for leaving us. If it hadn't been for me bringing Buffy back, you never would've come back. You were willing to cut us out of your life totally. Then there's Tara's death at the hands of Warren, and lets see. Oh yeah, I almost forgot about Buffy and her child-like attitude, and Kennedy-who loved me so much that she was willing to kill my slayer. And then there's Angel, who also loved me enough to sleep with someone else, and letting me go out of my mind with worry for months while he was back at his office going about business as usual." She laughed. "We won't even get into the discussion about my parents. How can a person not feel loved with friends like these? If this is love, I wouldn't want to see hate."
"I'm sorry about Angel, but did you at least afford him the opportunity to explain his actions?"
"Yes. No. Well, sort of. He had to play the part of being Angelus for the case he was working on, and needed to be believable.
"Ahhh, I see."
"No, no you don't!" her voice began to rise. "You know, I probably coulda handled the `sleeping with someone else for the case' part, b-but what really gets me is that I was walking around for months worried sick about him when there was nothing to worry about!" she took a deep breath to calm herself. "It would be so much easier not to feel anything, I think."
"Willow, you cannot go on like this."
"Oh, I don't know about that, Giles. I think I could go on like this just fine."
"No, you cannot. In the long run, you'll be doing nothing but hurting others as well as yourself."
"Don't you get it? If I don't feel, then I don't hurt. It's a simple concept really. You know, for someone with your intelligence, it's something you should have figured out a long time ago."
"I did, three years ago, if you remember. I tramped down and put away my emotions for almost an entire year while dealing with the 'First'. And where did it get me? Nowhere. I not only alienated myself, but all of you as well." He got up and sat beside her and pulled her close. "Closing yourself off accomplishes nothing, and does little for those around you."
"But it hurts. It hurts so much to care." She whispered, and leaned her head against him.
"Of course it hurts. Life is full of pain, Willow, as well as joy. But we go on and we take each moment for what it is as it comes to us. It is called living. If life were easy, we could never fully appreciate all the things that make us happy." He rest his head atop hers. "How long has it been since you've slept?"
"Three, maybe four days…….I-I'm not even sure anymore."
"I thought as much." He replied, then placed his hand above her head, and moved it down in front of her face without touching her, then murmured a single word; "Sleep."
~Part: 33~
Willow felt a warmth spread all over her body, mixed with a slightly cool breeze as it whispered across her, and the scent of wildflowers flooded her. She was a little confused at where the sensations were coming from, but chanced opening her eyes out of curiosity.
Upon opening them, the light surrounding her was almost blinding and she had to cover them with her hand as she sat up. She slowly moved her hand away and looked around as her eyes adjusted, with the hopes of getting her bearings and discovering where she was.
"I've been waiting for you." Said a voice, and Willow whipped her body around to see who was the owner of the familiar voice was. Her eyes widened as they settled upon a figure sitting on a headstone, in a white dress that seemed to glow and illuminate her creamy complexion. Her dark brown eyes stood out vividly in contrast to her skin, as did her short black hair that framed her face, giving her an ethereal beauty that Willow had never noticed on her before. She looked happy, and above all, at peace. "What? You haven't forgotten me already have you?" she smiled. "And thank you for the compliment." She tapped her forehead with a finger. "I can hear your thoughts."
"Carol? Is that really you?" she asked as she covered her mouth with one hand, and reached out with the other.
"Hi, Willow. It's really me." She smiled as she leaned forward and touched Willow's fingers lightly before she stood up and moved just to the side of the stone, and bent down, lovingly running her hand across the smooth surface. Willow read the name, and immediately knew who it was. "Willow, I'd like to introduce you to my dad, Jeremy. I'll make the real introduction in a little while. Dad has something to do before he can come and meet you."
"Carol? What's going on? Where am I?"
"You're here with me, that's all that matters right now." She replied, eyes twinkling. "How are you feeling, Willow?"
"Well, aside from the confusion?" she asked and Carol nodded. "Strangely, I feel warm, kinda like someone's holding me- comforting me." She looked around her. "But I don't see anyone." Then she remembered something. "It's like the poem you wrote."
"I suppose, but those were thoughts that I put on paper-what you are going through is much different."
"Why?"
"You will understand later, when it is time." She finished, and watched a sadness fall over the red head's face.
"Carol, I'm so sorry a-about what happened. I-I should have done something sooner." She sniffed.
"Don't apologize." Said the girl as she got up and made her way to Willow, then wrapped an arm around her. "You didn't know, you couldn't have known."
"But I could have stopped it! And you would still be with me."
"Willow, please don't blame yourself for this, I thought I could handle it on my own." She raised her hand and turned the witch's face to look at her. "And once I got here, I found out that things happen for a reason."
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean is, it was my time." She paused. "Don't be sad for me, be happy." She giggled. "Do you know who was waiting for me when I left?" Willow shook her head. "My father, he was there. Oh, Willow! Have you any idea how good it felt to see him again after so long? The first thing I did was wrap my arms around him and give him a great big hug."
"Really? He was there?"
"Mmm hmm. He was there with a big smile and holding his arms out for me to run into." She said, and Willow gave a small, sad smile. "I know this is hard for you, but be happy for me…..as happy for me as I am. I'm in a warm safe place with the people I love. What could be better than that?"
"I know, but I miss you so much. Being with you was like having a younger sister."
"I love you too, and Mr. Giles. You two gave me the chance when most would have just given up on me. And I can't begin to tell you how much I miss our poetry nights!" she laughed. "You and Mr. Giles mean the world to me. I didn't know how to repay you for everything you did for me, except to bring you here and let you know in person that I'm fine."
"Does this mean you're in heaven?" Willow asked hopefully, and Carol gave an enthusiastic nod.
"I am. Neat, huh? Never thought I'd make it there, but I did." Carol paused and straightened. "My father's coming."
"How do you know?"
"Trust me, I know." She replied as a figure slowly appeared before their eyes wearing a white gown similar to Carol's, but a little more masculine. "Daddy!" said the young woman as she got up and leaped into his arms.
"You know, sweetheart? I never get tired of that." Said the deep voice as he looked down at his blushing daughter, then turned his eyes to Willow. "I want to thank you for taking such good care of my little punkin here." And he ruffled Carol's hair.
"Thank you, sir."
"Jeremy, please."
"Alright, Jeremy. It was an honor knowing your daughter. I just wish I could have done something more."
"My dear, Willow." He said, and leaned down in front of her, eyes twinkling, never letting go of Carol's hand. "You've done more for me and my little girl than anyone else ever did. And the biggest of all, was never giving up on her. Carol was not an easy child to deal with, I know. Boy do I know!" he said playfully, and Willow couldn't help the laugh that escaped her when Carol smacked his arm.
"Daddy!"
"What? It's true!" he laughed and turned his attention back to Willow. "The point is, you saw past all her faults; you saw a good girl hiding behind the persona she put forth for everyone to see. And I will be forever grateful for all you've done for her. And the same thing can be said for Mr. Giles as well. I've seen, and I've watched, even though I couldn't make my presence known to anyone, but I was able to be there from time to time."
"I-I'm afraid I don't know what to say." Willow said to him.
"You don't have to say anything. I know what you're feeling, and I assure you that you have nothing to feel guilty about. When you finally do cry, don't cry tears of sadness for her; they should be tears of happiness. Carol is safe and loved, and with me."
"I'll try to remember that."
"I have something for you." Carol said to Willow. "I can't give it to you right now, but Erin will." She gave a wide smile. "I'll be seeing Erin later."
"I'm sorry sweetheart." Carol looked to her father. "It's time for me to go."
"Already? But you just got here."
"I was given permission to come here for a little while only, but I do still have work to do." He looked to Willow, then back to Carol. "If you like, you may stay and visit with Willow a little while longer, but," he held up a finger. "only for a little while."
"Thanks daddy. I'll join you soon, I promise."
"I know you will." He said, and kissed the top of her head. "It's been an incredible pleasure to meet you, Willow. And I look forward to seeing you again…. Many many years from now." He finished, and faded away.
"Your dad is so nice. I'm glad I had the chance to meet him."
"Well, he didn't really have much choice. I mean, he wanted to come and meet you anyway. But even if he hadn't, I wanted you to meet him." She laughed and sat back down beside the red head.
"I can see how much he loves you."
"Yeah, he is great, isn't he?" she took Willow's hand in hers. "So, how is everyone doing?"
"Mostly, everyone is still in shock. Erin's taking it pretty hard."
"Yeah. I saw her at the funeral. That was a sweet eulogy she gave." She sighed. "I will miss her so much."
"You were at the funeral?"
"Uh huh. But only for a short while. Dad told me to save my energies so that I could bring you here, and then talk to Erin later."
"Erin will be so happy to see you!"
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited too." Both girls snickered, and then Carol sobered. "You shouldn't be so hard on Mr. Giles. He's just looking out for you, and he really is trying to do his best."
"I know he is."
"Wanna know a secret?" Carol asked conspiratorially, and then looked around.
"What?"
"I had a crush on Mr. Giles." She said as Willow rolled her eyes.
"Who didn't!" she exclaimed. "Even I've had a crush on him, back in high school."
"You did?"
"Yup. Let's face it, the guy is smart and very good looking; and hey, the accent is to die for. And another thing…… can he ever belt out a tune!" they both giggled.
"I wish I could've heard him sing before I left. I can tell he'd be good just by listening to his voice."
"Carol, you have no idea! His voice could make a stone statue turn into a puddle of goo." She said, and then fell silent.
"What is it?"
"I miss you so much."
"Oh, Willow. I miss you too. But you have nothing to worry about. I'm fine, and I'm happy! And hey, I'll get to see you again."
"Sooo, I'm gonna have a long life huh?"
"Yup. But whenever I get the chance, I'll pop in and say hi."
"Really?"
"Yes, really."
"I'm glad to hear that." Willow replied.
"I also know of another surprise for you."
"What is it?"
"I can't tell you yet, if I did, it wouldn't be a surprise! But I can tell you it will be soon, and it will make you happy. Oh!" she added as an afterthought. "I met a friend of yours….what was her name?"
"Tara?"
"No. It was kind of like that singer…..Enya????"
"You mean, Anya?"
"That's the one!" Carol replied excitedly.
"I can't believe it." Willow said in awe. "She's in heaven?"
"She is definitely different. But, she did earn big brownie points by helping to save the world. She told me to say hi after I told her that I was going to talk to you. Out of all of them, you're the one she really respected. I mean, she loved Mr. Harris, but she said you were a real friend to her, even if you two did have to put up the act of not liking each other in front of everyone else." She said and leaned over and kissed Willow on the cheek. "Well, it's time for me to go."
"No! Already? Your father only just left a few minutes ago." She said and Carol laughed at her statement. "What's so funny?"
"You are. Time here works differently than what you're used to, it's faster. In the time that you've been here, it's been two hours where you really are."
"Really are? So this is just a dream?"
"Something like that, but not quite."
"Then what is it?"
"That, too, is something you will figure out when the time is right."
"Carol? I don't want you to leave."
"Silly, I have to go. But remember the warmth you said you were feeling, and give in to it-it will help you heal your heart. And no tears of sadness now, either. If there are to be tears, I want them to be tears of joy for me. I'm where I belong, and I'm with my dad." She finished as she started to fade before Willow's eyes.
"I love you, Carol."
"I love you too, Willow." She said, and then was gone. * * * * * * * *
Willow opened her eyes and let them scan where she was, until she remembered she was in Giles room. She remembered coming in and having a drink with him, and having a not-quite-so-nice conversation.
He had come over to sit on the couch beside her-and then nothing. As she looked to her right, sure enough, there was Giles softly snoring as she was leaned against him with his arm around her. Then a thought came to her; warmth and comfort-like someone holding her.
She had felt that way because there was someone holding her; and that someone was Giles. Carol had told her she would understand when it was time.
Carol.
The tears came unbound as Willow's body shook from the effort, causing Giles to wake up. He blearily looked to the red head, but the fog lifted from his mind as he registered the fact that she was crying.
"Willow, shhh." He said as he pulled her tighter to him. "I'm here. It's okay, just let it all out."
She wasn't sure how long she cried for, but was thankful Giles was patient and didn't let go of her. Instead, he rocked her gently and said soft words in an attempt to soothe her. It felt good to let it all out, and when the crying subsided some, she pulled away and looked at him.
"Willow, it's going to be alright." He said in relief as she finally showed an emotion other than anger. "Everyone needs to cry from time to time." He gently stroked her hair. "Crying is only natural when there is great sadness."
"I know, Giles." She sniffed. "And I'm not crying because I'm sad. I'm crying because I'm happy." She said. "I'm happy for Carol." And Giles looked at her in bewilderment.
~Part: 34~
As much as Giles hated to see Willow cry, he had to admit that her tears were a good sign. For three days after the incident with Kennedy, and Carol's death, Willow had walked around the castle like a robot, not allowing herself to show any emotion towards others unless it was anger.
But now as they sat in his room on the sofa, the red head finally broke down and let her pain flow out. The older man was never so relieved as he was at this moment, for she was showing the first step to emotional healing.
"I'm afraid I don't understand. You're crying because you're happy for Carol?" he asked, a little confused at her statement.
"I saw her, Giles. I saw her and we sat and talked in a field of wildflowers by her father's grave stone. There was a small breeze that carried the smell of the flowers everywhere, and the sun was so bright that at first I had to cover my eyes." She said, happiness mixed with sadness as she blew her nose in the handkerchief he handed her, but to Giles, this sounded so familiar to his ears, until he realized why, and his voice softened as he spoke.
"Willow, you may think you have seen Carol, but it was just a dream."
"No, Giles! I-it was real."
"My dear, what you have told me so resembles the poem you once read to me some time ago. And I do believe it was your favorite poem that Carol wrote." He said with sympathy. "It was just a dream."
"You know, I thought so too, at first. But it was real. I even got to meet her dad. Oh, Giles, he's so nice and funny too. You should have seen the way they were with each other. They love each other so much, and I'm glad they finally get to be together." She looked at him and her smile faded. "You don't believe me."
"I believe that what you think you've seen was real, but I am quite sure that it was nothing more than a dream. I'm sorry."
"So am I." She said sadly. "I didn't think you'd believe me, but I was still hoping anyway. It was such a great talk we had, we even talked about you."
"You did?" he asked curiously. "Though I can hardly think of anything I do that would be of enough interest to warrant a discussion."
"Carol said she had a crush on you." Willow snickered. "It's true, and she wished she could have heard you sing before she left. She said she could tell by the sound of your voice that you'd be really good."
"Really? She said that?"
"Yup. We had such a great time too." She scrunched her brows together. "I wonder what her father does."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Nothing really. It's just that when we were talking, he said he had to go-that he had work to finish up. He took some time from what he was doing just to meet me, but had to go back and finish it and Carol was going to help him. I wonder what kind of job you would have in heaven." She said the last statement more to herself.
"I can honestly say, I have no idea."
"And get this……..Anya is in heaven! Isn't that cool?"
"Anya? Xander's Anya?"
"Yup."
"The same Anya who once brought your vampire duplicate to this dimension? Whose annoying chatter about her sexual exploits were enough to bring a blush to the dead?"
"The very same!" Willow beamed. "Carol said that in trying to save the world, she scored major points, and she told Carol to say hi to me." She said, and Giles took her hand in his. "Carol has something for me, but wouldn't tell me what it was. She's going to be talking to Erin, and then Erin will bring it to me."
As Willow finished her last statement, they heard a knock at the door. Giles got up and walked over to answer, only to find a scared looking Erin standing on the other side.
"Erin? What is the matter?" Giles looked at his watch. "It's after three in the morning and you, young lady, should still be asleep."
"Mr. Giles! I've looked everywhere and I can't find her. I checked her office, and I checked her room. I-I have to find her, I have to give her something." She finished in almost hysterics as Giles opened the door wider to allow Erin to see Willow sitting on the sofa. "Oh, Miss Rosenberg! I was so worried when I couldn't find you!"
"Erin, please come in." Willow said, and Erin hurried in and sat beside her. "What is it?"
"I dreamed about Carol, a-and she wanted me to give you something." She held up a book. "Carol told me she wanted you to have her poetry book. I know it was just a dream and everything, but I know how much the poetry nights with you and Mr. Giles meant to her. And because of that, I know she'd want you to have this." She finished as a couple tears slid down her cheeks.
"Tears of happiness?" Willow said, pointing to the young girls face.
"Yeah. How'd you know?" she asked, wide-eyed.
"Did you get to meet Jeremy?"
"Her dad. I did! He was so nice to me!"
"She came to me too." Willow smiled reassuringly. "We had such a wonderful talk."
"Us too! She even told me that she told you she had a crush on Mr. Giles." Erin giggled, as did Willow. "So, it wasn't just a dream then?"
"I don't think so. I think she really came to us."
"She told me she'd try to come back whenever she gets the chance."
"Carol told me the same thing." Willow stroked Erin's hair. "At any rate, we can discuss this tomorrow. It's late and you should be sleeping. Now, get going."
"Goodnight, Miss Rosenberg. Mr. Giles." She said with a smile and was off.
"Well?" she asked, turning to Giles. "What do you make of that?"
"I find this to be rather astounding! You may be quite correct in your assumption that Carol did indeed come to you." Giles said, still somewhat in shock.
"Told ya." She replied smugly with a grin as Giles sat back down on the sofa beside her. "I don't know if I should tell Xander about Anya though. I mean, he might be happy to hear that she's in heaven, but at the same time he's only really just gotten over her death."
"I think that is a subject best left until tomorrow when we can talk about it with a clear mind." He said as he leaned back, placing an arm around Willow as she snuggled in beside him. They sat in silence for a time, each not knowing what to say to the other. Giles let what Willow said run through his mind with the hopes of finding a plausible explanation for two people to share roughly the same dream, but was drawn from his thoughts at the sound of a sniffle. "Willow?" he said as he sat up and faced her.
"I'm sorry, Giles. I know I should be happy for her and all, but it doesn't change the fact that I still miss her." She said as he wiped a tear from her face and pulled her close to him. It felt safe to be in his arms, as though his warmth and caring could take away the pain of the last few years. "You've been so worried about me, but you haven't cried either." She said in his chest. "Except for when I was holding her when she died."
"I did my best to keep my emotions at bay," he said as he gently pushed her back from him, and brought up his hands to either side of her face and stroked her hair. "Had I of not done so, I fear that I would not have been able to stop. And it was not exactly the right time for me to have had an emotional outburst." He gave a small smile. "You needed for me to be calm."
"I-I'm so sorry, Giles. For what I put you through." A small sob escaped and he leaned his face in close to hers.
"Listen to me, Willow Rosenberg. You have done nothing that warrants apologizing to me. Do you understand?" He said as fresh tears fell down her face, but as Willow's emerald eyes looked into his light green ones, she noticed that they had welled up with tears, and when he blinked they spilled forth.
"I knew you weren't superman." She said as she wiped his away, but before he could stop himself, he leaned in and placed his lips on hers. Willow gasped at the unexpected kiss, causing Giles to pull back, eyes wide in horror at what he had done, then stood and began to pace.
"Willow, please f-forgive me." He stammered in embarrassment. "I should never have let myself do that to you. I-I don't really know what I was thinking or what came over me." He said in frustration as he stood and walked over to the table, reached for the decanter and poured himself a drink.
Willow got up and made her way to him, then stopped his arm before the glass made it to his lips. She took the glass from him and placed it back on the table, and turned him to fully face her.
He stood before her looking down at the floor, unable to meet her gaze, sure that the look on her face would be one of condemnation. But as he stood, she reached up and removed his glasses, and carefully placed them on the table. He looked at her questioningly as she brought a hand back up and stroked the side of his face, then placed her hand in his hair and drew his head to her.
Their lips met again as Willow let her body move closer to his until they were pressed against on another, but Giles pulled his head away, breaking the kiss and took a step backward.
"I can't do this. I cannot take advantage of you in this manner." He said, shaking his head.
"Giles." She stepped closer. "You can't take advantage of someone who is willing." And she took his arms at the elbow, lifted them and placed them on her back. She stood on her toes, hands resting on his shoulders, and kissed him softly on his lips, then said just above a whisper. "I want this to happen; I want to be with you, tonight."
Neither noticed a figure dressed in a long white gown standing off in the far corner of the room facing the couple, nor did they hear the soft giggle before it disappeared.
~Part: 35~
Present Day
"I called and told you on the day of her funeral." Angel shook his head in disbelief at what he'd heard. "No wonder I drove you into his arms."
"Oh for crying out loud!" Willow threw her hands in the air. "Would you stop? Angel, this isn't about you, it's about me. It wasn't `you' that drove me into his bed that night; it was a combination of raw emotions and everything else. So don't sit there and do the `broody' thing with me because of the way the circumstances worked out. Things happen, and quite frankly, I'm not the least bit sorry about it." she quieted for a moment, and then spoke softly as she grabbed his hand. "I warned you from the beginning that there are things I did that I'm not proud of, but neither am I sorry for them."
"If you could go back and change things…?" he let the question trail off.
"No." she said simply as she shook her head. "As much as I would've liked to change some of the events, I wouldn't do it. To change anything would take away everything I was blessed with in the future-and I couldn't give them up." She sighed. "Hush now. Let me continue on with the rest of the entry." She turned her eyes to where she left off in the book. "It was truly an amazing morning, with the sun shining and the promise of………."
Past
Giles awoke to sunlight filling the room and looked to the clock to see the time read seven thirty. He sighed, desperately wishing he didn't have to get up and leave the comfort of the red head lying next to him. But for the sake of all concerned, he decided it best to do just that; get up and get himself mobile. After all, right now everyone needed everything to go on the way it always had, given all that's happened within the last few days. Continuity was the key.
He lightly kissed the side of Willow's head and left the bed. His movements caused her to stir, but shortly after she made herself comfortable and was once again fast asleep. He quickly made his way to the bathroom and showered, then came back and dressed as quietly as possible and left her alone.
He was the last to enter the dining hall, and as he looked around while taking his seat, he noticed how abnormally quiet things were compared to the usual chatter that used to always fill the room.
"Hey, Giles. You're later than normal. We were going to start eating without you." Said Xander as a server came to Giles side and poured him a cup of tea. "Boy, you look like crap."
"Thank you." He said to the server. "And thank you for pointing that out to me, Xander." Replied Giles as he brought the steaming brew to his lips.
"Did Willow stay with you last night?" he asked, and Giles to spit the tea across the table, causing everyone to turn and stare at him.
"I-I-I beg your pardon? Sleep with me, did you say?" and he wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin, then did the same to the table.
"Nooooo. I said `stay with you'." And Xander rolled his eyes. "You know, in your room? I went to Wills' room this morning to wake her up for breakfast, but when she didn't answer the door, I went in. She wasn't there and her bed looked like she hadn't slept in it."
"Oh! Oh yes. Quite right." He said, hoping the brunette would drop the subject.
"Is she any better than yesterday?" asked Buffy.
"Yes she is, much better in fact." And a plate of ham and eggs were placed in front of him, which he quickly dug into.
"How did it go? I mean, did she cry, scream, what?"
"S-s-scream? No. Our discussion didn't start off that entirely well at first, but it eventually got calmer. And to answer your question, yes, she did cry."
"That's a relief." Exclaimed Xander. "It must have been pretty rough for you. You look horrible! She must have kept you up most of the night." At that statement, Giles choked on his food, and Buffy jumped up and slammed her hand down hard on his back twice until the food was spit out.
"Giles! Are you okay this morning?" the blonde asked in concern.
"Th-thank you, Buffy, and yes, I'm fine." He said as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Just tired, nothing to concern yourself with I assure you."
"You poor thing." Said Buffy, in a child-like voice. "Up all night doing the `emotional healing' thing for Willow. And knowing you, Giles, you did the gentlemanly thing by letting her have your bed." She tsked. "But I bet by the end of the night you were thinking that it was all worth it." she said happily as she took her seat once more.
"You have no idea." He said softly to himself, keeping his eyes glued to his plate.
"Miss Rosenberg and I shared the same dream last night." And all eyes turned to Erin.
"You shared the same dream?" Xander repeated as a question.
"Uh huh. It was about Carol. She wanted me to give Miss Rosenberg her book. You know her poetry book that Giles and Miss R. put together for her? Anyway, when I woke up, I grabbed the book and looked all over for her, but couldn't find her. I got really scared cause we all saw that she wasn't the same as she used to be. So I went to Mr. Giles room, and there she was. I told her about my dream, and she told me that she dreamed about Carol too. Is that cool or what!" Erin finished, bubbling with excitement.
"Really?" asked Sharon.
"It's totally true. I'll tell you all about it after breakfast."
"Wow."
"Is this true, Giles? Did they really share the same dream?" asked the blonde slayer.
"Yes, it appears that they did, although there were some variations to each. But essentially, they were the same."
"But how is that possible?"
"It could be because of the shared feeling of loss. Carol was Erin's best friend, and Willow's slayer, thusly the reason for an emotional intertwining of sorts. Or, perhaps Willow is correct and Carol did come to her. The latter is what Willow currently believes to be true."
"Wow!" Xander said in awe, as he could think of nothing else to add. Just then, the red head bounded into the room.
"Morning everyone!" She said as she made her way to Giles and kissed him on the cheek before taking a seat to his left.
"Willster! You made it!"
"I would've been here earlier, but someone didn't wake me up." She playfully scolded the older man.
"You were exhausted, and I saw no need to disturb you."
"It's nice to see you feeling so bouncy this morning." Said the young man.
"Yeah, well, I was feeling pretty `bouncy' by the end of the night last night too." She said, and watched Giles spit out his tea, and laughed at him.
"Giles! What is going on with you this morning?" Xander looked to Willow. "He's been doing that since he got to the breakfast table." He looked disgustedly back to Giles. "And it's really starting to make me lose my appetite." He said as a server placed his second helping in front of him, and took his empty plate away. "I hope you took it easy on him, Wills. He just doesn't have the same stamina he used to." And he shoveled a forkful of food into his mouth.
"Oh, Xander." She admonished. "Trust me, there is definitely nothing wrong with his stamina. He gave as much as he took!" she laughed as Giles blushed, pushed his chair back and stood up.
"If all of you are now finished laughing at my expense, I will be in my office catching up on all the work I neglected as of late." He said, and turned on his heel and left the room.
"What's up with him?"
"Well, I'm pretty sure that there's nothing up this morning." She laughed. "I think I just exhausted him last night, that's all."
"You really should take it easy on him." Xander pointed to the doorway. "He's not as young as he used to be."
"Oh, I think you'd be surprised just how spry he can be." Willow said, smiling at her own private little joke. "But you're right. I'll take it easy on him next time."
"Personally, I hope there is no `next time'." Replied the young man seriously. "I don't think I could bear to see you like that again."
"I'm sorry, Xand. I guess I didn't think about what I put you through, or anyone else for that matter."
"No, its okay, we all understood. We're just glad you're back and that you're okay."
"Me too." She said as she stood. "I think I'm going to talk to Giles and apologize for making fun at the breakfast table. I shouldn't have done that after what he did for me. I'll see you later." After she left, Xander turned to Buffy.
"How long are you two going to keep this thing between you going? Neither of you said a single word to each other."
"I don't know." She sighed. "She knows how I feel, and that I want our friendship back." She looked at him. "The ball's in her court now; and all I can do is sit back and wait for the serve."
* * * * * * *
"Giles?" she said, peeking her head in the door.
"Yes, Willow? Please, do come in."
"Thanks." She said as she entered and took a seat.
"What can I do for you?"
"You did more than enough last night." She said, and he blushed as he turned his eyes to the papers sitting on his desk in front of him. "Actually, I wanted to apologize for how I behaved at breakfast this morning."
"You do realize that you carried your fun to the extreme, at my expense?"
"Yes." She nodded. "It's just that it felt so good to joke around again, like the world had been lifted off my shoulders. And it's because of you that I feel this way."
"Yes, Well." He took a deep breath. "Willow, we really must discuss our actions last night."
"I know, I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that. It was wrong of me, but I'd be lying if I said I was sorry it happened- cause I'm not. You were wonderful. I mean, what we did was amazing, Giles. I haven't felt more special or as loved in a very long time as I did when you and I were together."
"I'm not sorry either, and I must point out that you hardly took advantage of me. I understand that you needed to feel comforted, just as I did, and we turned to each other for that feeling." She nodded in agreement. "Last night was the first time I'd had the opportunity to let my feelings for Carol show, and as you have already stated, the burden was somewhat lifted from me as well."
"I'm so glad you're not upset." She said as he stood and took the chair beside hers.
"Of course not. How could last night ever upset me? But there is something you must understand."
"What is it?"
"You said I made you feel special, but that is because you are special. You also felt loved, and that is because you are."
"I know." She said, and cast her eyes down shyly, but Giles reached out and tilted her head back up to face him.
"No, you don't. I have kept this from you for some time now, and after last night I find I can no longer carry this secret." He said, and she felt her stomach begin to tighten. "Willow." He caressed the side of her face with the back of his fingers. "I love you."
"I love you too, Giles." She replied warily, and he shook his head and looked deeply into her eyes.
"No, you do not understand. I am in love with you, Willow, and would like very much to be with you-if you would have me."
~Part: 36~
Willow was totally taken aback at Giles' confession of love as she sat staring at him. That was definitely something she hadn't expected to come from him. She saw the hope shining in his eyes and groaned inwardly-she was not looking forward to the outcome of this conversation.
"Giles." She said softly. "I don't know what to say except………."
"Please, say yes." He said, and saw her eyes well up.
"I-I can't. Giles, I do love you…b-but it's not in the way that you need me to." And she watched as all the hoped flickered away. "I'm sorry."
"No, it is I who should be sorry." He stood up and turned away from her. "I'm just a silly old man who fell in love with a young woman-a young woman whose heart belongs to someone else." She stood up and placed a hand on his arm, though his back still faced her.
"Now you listen to me! You are not `silly', and you are not old! Old-ER maybe, but not old. A-and I'm flattered, really, and I really do wish I could love you the way you want me too-but I can't. It doesn't work that way. Please, please turn around and look at me." She begged.
"I can't, not after making such a fool of myself!"
"Stop that! You are not a fool! Please stop putting yourself down over this." She moved till she was standing in front of him. "You can't pick who you fall in love with, just like I can't. If I could choose, it would be you." His eyes went wide. "It's true. I look at you and I see the perfect guy." He snorted. "No, really. You're handsome, kind and generous, you've gone out of your way to protect us, and you're so smart it's almost scary."
"Perfect or not," he said as he raised a hand and caressed her cheek. "it will not change how you feel."
"No, it won't."
"I tried not to love you, Willow." He said sadly. "I tried, but my heart lost the battle. It just would not listen to the reality of what my mind tried to tell it." he looked into her eyes. "Of everyone in my life, you are the only one that I have ever had so much in common with-a connection. I can converse with you intellectually in a way that I cannot with the others, and your heart knows no bounds. You, Willow Rosenberg, are my perfect woman."
"Oh, Giles." She sobbed and wrapped her arms around him.
"As difficult as it will be, I will be leaving here and transferring down to our other location."
"What?" she asked dumbfounded.
"Though Buffy will have to relinquish her status for the time being while I'm there, I will head the counsel from that location until such time that another branch will open." He finished, and she pulled away.
"But, why? Why are you leaving? When did you decide this?"
"I've only just…….." but she cut him off.
"You mean to tell me that you made a serious decision like with absolutely no thought whatsoever? All within what, five minutes?"
"It's for the best, really."
"You know, I'm sick to death of hearing what everyone else thinks is the best solution for whatever they think happens to be a problem."
"Given our current circumstances, I should think that you would agree………."
"I should think that you would agree." She mimicked as she screwed up her face, taking a few steps away from him. "Don't put thoughts into my head that aren't there!"
"You aren't thinking rationally. This is the best solution for both of us."
"No, Giles, it's not. It's the best solution for you. After all, isn't that what you do best? Running away? I mean hey, you did it once, why not again. Damn you." She went to the door and opened it, but stopped before leaving to yell; "Damn you to hell!" and with tears in her eyes, she ran, making sure to slam the door behind her.
Giles sank into a chair and placed his head in his hands in despair. `What have I done?' he thought as he straightened and ran a hand through his hair. He stood up and began to pace as he tried to find a way to make Willow understand that this really was the best answer.
Though how to explain it eluded him at the moment. But he couldn't leave things as they are, and left his office to find her. He checked her office, but to his dismay she wasn't there. But upon reaching her chamber door, he heard her muffled sobs and knew she was lying down on her bed, her face probably buried in a pillow.
He knocked lightly, but receiving no answer he knocked again.
"I'm not in the mood for company right now." Was the quiet response.
"Willow, it's me."
"Let me change that to, I'm not in the mood for YOUR company." She said louder.
"Willow, please. Let's not be childish about this."
"Childish?" he heard shuffling, and then the door opened, revealing the puffy-eyed red head. "I'm the one being childish?"
"Yes, you are." He said flatly, though his heart wanted him to reach out and offer comfort to stop her tears.
"Me? I'm not the one who goes running off when the going gets tough, mister!" she pointed her thumb at her chest.
"May we discuss this inside?"
"What for? I think you said everything you needed to say already, and I don't feel like listening to it again."
"This is not a conversation for others to overhear."
"You know, when your bags are packed and sitting by the front door, I'm pretty sure everyone will figure it out."
"Willow." He said in exasperation, and she rolled her eyes.
"Fine." She opened the door wider and allowed him to walk in. "So, how pretty are you going to make it sound this time?"
"I beg your pardon?" he asked, confused.
"Give me a break, Giles. I watch and I listen, and whenever people don't agree with what you say, you repeat it but with really big and flowery words."
"I do not!" he said defensively.
"Yes, you do."
"No, I do not."
"And who's acting like a child now?" she said smugly. "Look, if you wanna go, then go. Who am I to stop you?"
"It has nothing to do with wanting to, I have to." He sat down on the corner of her bed.
"Why? Is it because you love me? Is that the reason, because I find that to be a really lame excuse on your part."
"It is not an `excuse'. Can't you understand? Do you have any idea how hard it will be for me to stay, with you here, knowing that I can never be with you? Never touch you?" Willow bowed her head, but said nothing. "I didn't think so."
"I'm sorry." She whispered, fresh tears falling as she turned her back to him. "I'm so sorry." He got up and went to her, then rubbed her arms gently and kissed the back of her head.
"It is I who is sorry, Willow."
"I was being so selfish. I wanted you to stay so bad that I didn't let myself look at it from your perspective." She sniffed. "When will you be l-leaving?"
"In two month's. By that time, Wesley will be back and ready to take over here."
"So, you're really gonna leave me?"
"I'm afraid that I can find no other solution, except one. And that isn't an option."
"I know." She agreed. "But it won't be the same without you."
"No, it will not. Nor will I be the same without you." He sighed. "However, as I have preparations to make, I must go back to my office. I need to call Wesley and go over plans with him to take over in my absence." She nodded as he ran his hand down her red tresses, and then quickly left the room-and Willow, before he completely lost his composure.
"I'll miss you." She said, knowing he wouldn't hear her words, and then wept.
~Part: 37~
Both had tried to keep up a front for the others, but all of them could see that the relationship between the two was strained, and had been for almost two months now. Everyone figured that it had to do with the fact that Giles was leaving at the end of the week, and they were right…partly. But no one could understand why it seemed to separate them so much emotionally rather than bring them closer together.
In not wanting to tell them the real reason for Giles' departure, they thought that under the circumstances it was best for everyone to think that he wanted to be there to get a new branch underway. Though it sounded like a perfectly plausible reason, somehow Xander wasn't quite sure that was all there was to it.
All he knew was that after Willow went to apologize to Giles for making fun of him at breakfast one morning, that night at dinner he's telling everybody that he will be leaving England for good and going back to the States. Needless to say he-and the others, were stunned upon hearing this bit of information.
Once the initial shock wore off, Giles had explained to Buffy that taking over her branch was only temporary, until another one opened. Though Buffy was fine with the idea, Xander was not, but kept silent about it anyway. Over time Giles looked more haggard than usual, and Willow looked as though she hadn't been sleeping.
The blonde slayer had stayed for a month, with the permission of Wesley, but finally had to go back. But as she hugged Xander before boarding her plane, she whispered in his ear; "Keep an eye on them? Something's not right."
And that was exactly what he did, and the more time that passed, the more things seemed off. No more hugging, no more sitting together and no conversations that weren't work related. The problem was, he didn't have a clue as to what to do about it-and it was really beginning to piss him off.
Something was wrong with two of the most important people in his life, and he was just sitting there on the sidelines watching. He'd had made up his mind to do something about it, and confront the two of them together tonight after the girls finished dinner and excused themselves. He'd had enough, and he'd be damned if anything was going to stop him from finding out the truth.
* * * * * *
"So sorry I'm late." Giles said as he took his place at the table. "I was trying to take care of some of the last minute preparations before my departure on Friday."
"Yeah, well, you're not the only one who's late. Willow isn't here either." Xander signaled for a server. "Beatrice? Could you please go ahead and serve the girls? Giles and I will wait till Willow gets here."
"Yes, Mr. Harris." And she headed into the kitchen. Within moments, she was back with a line up of servants behind her setting down the steaming plates as Willow came in and took a seat.
"Hey, Wills." Xander looked at her closely. "Are you feeling okay?" he asked, taking in the dark circles under her eyes and pale complexion.
"I'm a little off today." She replied. "I think I'm coming down with that cold Ellen had a couple weeks ago."
"Sorry about that, Miss R. I didn't mean to give it to you."
"Oh, hunny, it's okay. Colds happen to people all the time. It just happened to be me this time." She chuckled as a plate was set in front of her. "Um, Beatrice?"
"Yes, mum?"
"Could you take this away for me? I'm not really all that hungry this morning."
"If you don't mind me saying so, mum. The best thing for you when you have a cold is to eat." She gestured for someone else. "Here, have yourself some nice fresh orange juice too. It's got plenty of vitamin C. Fresh squeezed it is, not like that stuff you by in a store." She finished with a slight shudder at the idea of purchasing orange juice at the store.
"Alright, I'll try."
"Good for you!" exclaimed Beatrice, and patted her shoulder. "You'll see. You'll be feeling better in no time." And she went back to the kitchen.
"Not hard to tell Beatrice has taken a real shine to you." Xander snickered.
"Yeah. But today I wish she hadn't." replied Willow as she stared at the food in front of her. She picked up her fork, scooped up some egg, and after crinkling her nose and a slight hesitation, placed the food in her mouth and began to chew.
"You really feel that bad today?" Asked the brunette, and Willow just nodded in answer.
"Willow. It might be a good idea if you lay down for a while. It may help somewhat."
"Maybe, in a little bit." And she pushed the food away. "Even the smell is turning my stomach." And she took her orange juice and sipped.
Xander sat silent for a while, debating on whether or not it was a good idea with Willow being sick, to demand answers to the questions he had. But Giles was leaving in just a few short days, which meant that time was growing short. It's now or never.
"Girls?" he said, catching the attention of everyone at the table. "Would all of you mind eating in the living room please? I need to talk to Mr. Giles and Miss Rosenberg privately."
It didn't take much in the way of consideration for the girls to agree with the unusual request as each one eagerly took their plates and quickly left the room. After all, it wasn't everyday that you got to eat `and' watch TV at the same time. Giles and Willow watched as the girls left, and then turned their confused expressions to Xander.
"Xander? Would you please explain your actions?"
"Sure thing. It's just like I told the girls…I wanted to talk to you-both of you privately about what is going on."
"And just `what' is going on that warrants this kind of behavior?"
"You've got to be kidding me! Do you two really think that no one notices the difference between you lately? None of us were born yesterday…we have eyes and see perfectly well, thank you very much."
"I have no idea what you are talking about." Said Giles tersely.
"Give it up, Giles. The both of you don't even talk anymore; unless it's about work-that's not including everything else you guys don't do anymore. And then there's the sudden, `Oh, by the by, I'm leaving all of you for good.' thing! I mean, what the hell brought that on all of a sudden? And don't even try telling me the `New branch, blah blah blah' thing either! I don't believe it for a second."
"Xander, I assure you that……."
"Don't `assure' me, Giles. Your assurances mean nothing to me when I know it's a lie. I've known you a little too long `not' to know when you're lying to me."
"I honestly don't think you will want to hear the real reason for my leaving. There are some things that are meant to be kept to one's self." He looked to Willow, but her response was barely a nod. "Willow?"
"I-I think I'm gonna take your advice and go lay down. I'm really not feeling good." She said as she shakily got to her feet and stumbled back a couple of steps. Both men jumped to their feet and were at her side in the blink of an eye.
"Wills? You want me to help you?"
"No. I can make it." she said, but as her upper body turned, her lower half wouldn't follow. "Maybe here would be good." As she finished her statement, her legs buckled, and Xander reached out and caught her before she hit the ground.
"Willow?" he said as he lowered her gently to the ground, and lightly tapped the face of the unconscious girl.
"Beatrice!" yelled Giles, and the servant quickly ran into the room.
"Yes sir? Oh my!" she exclaimed as her eyes fell to the two men leaning over the red head.
"Beatrice, call Doctor Alistair immediately! Please, hurry!"
~Part: 38~
The two men sat nervously in the main living area as they waited for the doctor to emerge from Willow's room. Every two minutes, Xander would look at his watch, then to the stairs while Giles sat motionless.
It had been forty minutes since the doctor's arrival, and he had yet to make an appearance and explain what had happened. The brunette got up and began pacing around the room as though he were a caged animal. It rather reminded Giles of the time Xander had been possessed by the hyena spirit, and was locked in the cage in the old library.
Giles watched as the young man moved about the room, amazed at the way Xander had changed over the years. Granted, they had all changed in one way or another, but he had to admit that Xander's was the most remarkable of all of them.
Gone now were the days of the awkward young teenager who cracked jokes at every turn. In his place was a smart and insightful young man who took a responsibility for the safety of the world and placed it squarely on his own shoulders willingly.
The one thing that is, and forever shall be the same, is his love for the woman upstairs. They had a bond between them that went further than the depths of an ocean, and Giles doubted highly if there was anything that could ever separate the two of them.
He admired the young man for his total and absolute dedication to her, no matter what circumstances were thrown their way. While in a coma, he remained by her side, never leaving until she had awaken. During her period of grief when she lashed out at the world-when almost everyone had given up hope, his love for her never wavered.
Giles himself, had started to lose hope, but Xander wouldn't- couldn't accept that hope was gone, and purposely put himself in harms way to save her. Giles knew without a doubt, that what ran through the young man's mind at the time was not about saving the world-it was all about saving his friend.
And as much as Giles admired him for it, he was also jealous of him for it. Not of Xander's affection for her, nor of how deep it went, or the closeness they share because of it-but because he'd listened to what his heart had told him and was unwilling to give up on her; something no one else could lay claim to.
"Xander, do sit down."
"I can't, Giles. Sitting there won't change anything."
"No, it won't, and neither will your incessant pacing." He lightened his tone. "Please, sit down." And the young man did as requested.
"I can't lose her, Giles. I just can't."
"Who said anything about losing her? Xander, I assure you, she is going to be fine."
"How do you know? I mean, we don't even know what's wrong with her."
"No, we do not. And we won't know a thing until the doctor comes down, so there is no point in worrying yourself silly about something we know nothing about as yet."
"Mr. Giles is right." Said a voice from behind, and the two men jumped to their feet and practically ran to the man. "I'm fairly sure there is nothing seriously wrong with Miss Rosenberg."
"Is she okay? What's wrong with her, doc?"
"She seems to think that it may just be a cold that she caught from one of the young ladies residing here, and it is a distinct possibility; however, I do have a few questions for the both of you."
"Why us?" Xander asked. "Shouldn't you be asking her?"
"The young lady upstairs was not exactly the most cooperative patient I've ever had, nor was she all that forthcoming with her answers. Am I to assume that she has a distrust of the medical field?"
"Distrust, no. Dislike, yes." Giles said flatly as the doctor nodded.
"I thought as much." He replied. "Has she been under an inordinate amount of stress as of late?"
"Yes she has, for quite some time as it were. Why?"
"Her blood pressure is a little high, but not to worry," he held up a hand. "It is nothing a small walk on the grounds wouldn't take care of. I'd say, about twenty minutes a day in the fresh air should do it."
"Stress?" Xander looked to Giles. "I don't get why it would be a big deal to answer." He looked back to the doctor. "What was her answer?"
"Her response to my question was, and I quote, `Nothing I can't handle'." He sighed. "She could stand to gain a few pounds as well, as she is a little underweight. I also believe that she may not be sleeping properly either, so if you could have her drink warm milk before bed….perhaps some chamomile tea? I hesitate to prescribe anything for sleep until the results of her blood and urine tests are in. Oh, and a little extra bed rest wouldn't do her any harm either." he finished.
"I see. When will you have the results of her tests back?" Giles inquired.
"Tomorrow morning. Once I've received them, I shall, of course, call her with the information." He said as he took his coat and put it on. "Now, if you will excuse me, gentlemen, I must get back to work." He placed his hat on his head. "Good day." And he left.
"Well, it appears as though it may be nothing of a serious nature other than being stress related. I must say, I am rather quite relieved."
"Me too, Giles. D-do you think we'd be allowed to go up and see her now?"
"I can see no reason as to why not, however, whether she wishes to entertain company right now is another matter." Giles stated as they headed up the stairs. Xander ran to her door and knocked eagerly as Giles followed behind him.
"Come in." came the reply, and the door opened. "Hey, Xander."
"Hey yourself. Thought we'd come up and check on ya."
"I'm fine. Everyone's making a big `to do' about nothing." She exclaimed. "It's just a cold, for crying out loud. No big deal."
"Willow, it is very much a big deal."
"Giles is right. You had us both half scared to death what with the fainting thing. Poor Beatrice, I thought she was gonna have a heart attack or something the way she was scurrying around."
"She was pretty freaked, huh?"
"While we were waiting for the doc to show up, she was pacing back and forth and talking to herself. She was pretty upset, but with her Britishness and accent and all, I had no idea what she was saying. But Giles turned a nice shade of red for some of it."
"Yes, well. I think it best if I talk to Beatrice about that later today. It would be most inappropriate to have language like that floating around the halls of the castle with the possibilities of the young ladies being present at any given time."
"Giles don't get her in trouble. She's never done anything like that before, and this time she was just scared. It wasn't really her fault." She said, and Giles felt his resolve soften just a little.
"Worry not; I will not seriously reprimand her given the circumstances. I will, however, ask her to be more careful in the future." He said, and saw a smile come to her lips.
"Thanks, Giles."
"You are more than welcome, my dear. Now, I'll leave you two alone to visit one another, as I have work I must finish up. If you feel up to it later, either Xander or I will take you out for a walk around the grounds." But before she could say no….. "Doctor's orders." She let her shoulders slump in defeat, and the action caused him to smile. "Good day you two. I shall see you at lunch." And with that, he left.
"He was really worried about you too." Said Xander once the door was shut.
"I'm fine. It's just a cold."
"Doc said your blood pressure is kinda high too."
"Wouldn't yours be with everything that's been going on? Xander, we've been dealing with things the world doesn't even know exists, and we've watched friends die-sometimes more than once-because of it. It's bound to take its toll on the best of us. Truth to tell, I'm not really all that surprised about it." she stated calmly.
"I know, but….."
"No, no `buts'. Let's face it, you always joke around and play the clown. Granted, not so much anymore, but that's how you relaxed. Me? I suck it all in. I have no real way of letting it out."
"You know you can use me as an ear……or even a punching bag if you need too." He took her hand. "Just don't ever let this happen again. I'm serious. I don't think I could handle it if anything ever happened to you."
"Oh, Xander." She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him. "Don't worry. Everything is going to be okay, and I plan on being around for a very long time to come."
"You better be." He pulled back and looked into her eyes. "You're kinda my life line, ya know." And he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Come on. Let's go for a walk."
"Alright." He moved so she could stand up. Willow went to her closet and took her coat. "Make sure to grab your jacket too. It may be June, but it's still pretty chilly here."
"Geez. Does England ever warm up?"
"Not really." She snickered, and they walked out the door.
~Part: 39~
Everyone sat around the breakfast table, but Xander absently pushed the food around on his plate with his fork as the usual chatter from the girls went on. He had to admit that Willow did look a little better today, but she was still a little too pale for his liking. Even Giles sat there stealing quick glances of her as she slowly ate some dry toast.
"Are you feeling any better today, mum?" asked Beatrice as she came over and set a couple more slices of down in front of her.
"I am, a little. I'm still a little tired though."
"Well, if you don't mind me saying so, you still look as though you could use some more rest. But," she pointed to the toast. "But I'm happy to see you eating something, even if it is just toast. And Mr. Andrew has informed the kitchen that soup is to be made specifically for you for dinner tonight." She patted Willow's shoulder. "Give it a few more weeks, dearie, and you'll be right as rain again, you'll see." And Beatrice walked back into the kitchen, leaving Willow a little confused at her words.
"Hey, does anyone know what time the doctor is supposed to be calling today?"
"Nope, didn't give a time. Just said it would be sometime this morning." Willow answered. "Xander? You okay? You've barely eaten a thing. You're not coming down with what I've got, are you?"
"No, I'm fine. I'm just, I'm not-how can you be so calm about this?"
"It's a cold, Xander." She admonished. "People get colds all the time, it's no big deal."
"Doc said high blood pressure. You know what that means? Heart problems. If you're not careful, one of these days you could wind up having yourself a heart attack."
"If I had heart problems, I'm pretty sure that something would have happened already within the last ten years. And since nothing has, you can rule that one out." She took a nibble off her toast. "Besides, I'm feeling a little better today, so don't spoil it for me."
"I'm sorry." And he turned his attention back to pushing his food with the fork.
"I thought that perhaps, i-if you feel up to it, that I might take you for a drive around this area. Other than the grounds, you haven't really had the opportunity to see the town-or the landscape, I might add."
"I'd like that, Giles. Thank you."
"Think nothing of it, my dear." He replied as Crenshaw walked up and stood by the red head.
"Pardon me, miss."
"Willow."
"Yes, Miss Willow."
"Crenshaw? Could you please drop the `miss' part? It's just Willow."
"Of course, Miss Willow. At any rate, there is a phone call for you, a Doctor Alistair. Should I transfer it to your office?"
"No thanks. I'll take it in the living room." She said as she stood.
"Very good, mum." And he turned on his heel and left. Giles and Xander pushed the chairs back, jumped to their feet and followed Willow out of the room, but upon reaching the phone table, she turned and said;
"A little breathing room would be nice." And watched as the two men backed up a step. "Thank you." And she picked up the receiver and pressed the hold button. "Doctor Alistair?"
The two men waited as patiently as possible as a series of `uh huh's' and `okay's' came out of Willow's mouth, but nothing else. They stood for what seemed like an eternity until they saw her back suddenly straighten and the receiver fall to the floor.
"Oh god!" exclaimed Xander in horror as he went to Willow's side, while Giles picked up the phone.
"Doctor? It's Rupert Giles." Pause "She appears to be in shock." Pause "No, she seems to be alright, Mr. Harris and I are with her now. Mr. Alistair, please, what is your prognosis?" he asked, not sure whether or not he really wanted to hear the answer. But after a short pause, all Giles could manage was; "Oh good lord!" as the receiver slipped through his fingers.
Fear shot through every bone in Xander's body as he left Willow's side, grabbed the phone and placed it to his ear. "H- hello?" Pause "Yes, this is Mr. Harris." Pause "No, he's just standing there." Pause "How bad is it, doc?" Pause "No." Pause "I won't." Pause "I said I won't drop the freaking phone already! Now what the hell is wrong with her?!"
Within seconds the receiver crashed once again to the floor as he slowly turned his eyes towards Willow. He took a step, but felt his foot hit something and looked down to see the receiver by the toe of his shoe, and he leaned down to pick it up and placed it back in the cradle.
"Will?" he said, and she turned her widened eyes to him. "Will, it's going to be alright."
"I-I never thought, I mean I never expected…….."
"It's okay, I'm here." He cupped her face with his hands. Anger filled him, but he kept his voice calm as he spoke. "Who, Will? Who did this to you?"
"B-but, it was only once…….." she stammered.
"Tell me who did this to you so I can tear him apart and kill the bastard! Was it one of the servants? Which one? C'mon, Wills."
"I-it was……."
"Yes?"
"Me." Giles said in awe, and Xander's head snapped in his direction before staggering back a couple of steps.
"Wha? No! No no no no." he began shaking his head in denial. "That's not possible. I mean, it couldn't be you. Y-you're Giles, a-and this is Willow. That would be like incest or something." Then a thought struck him. "Who are you covering for?"
"Xander, we are not `covering' for anyone. And I assure you that it is quite true; the child is mine." Giles said as he placed a comforting arm around Willow and led her to a chair. "Willow, luv?" he said softly as she sat and kneeled in front of her. "Everything will be fine."
"Giles?" she looked at him. "I'm going to have a baby." She said breathlessly and placed a hand on her abdomen.
"I know." And he placed his hand on hers. "How do you feel about it?" he asked nervously.
"Surprised." And a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "Incredible."
"Really?" his voice filled with hope.
"Really." She replied, putting his fears to rest as she looked at her stomach then back to him. "I'm going to be a mother." She said, but her smile soon faded.
"Willow? What's wrong? Are you in pain?"
"But you're leaving me." She said sadly and already her eyes began to well up with unshed tears. "You won't be here."
"Willow, I'm not going anywhere." He brought his other hand up and caressed her cheek. "I'm staying right here with you, and our child."
"Do you mean it? You're gonna stay?"
"I am going to stay." He nodded. "I'll call Wesley later today to tell him that my plans have changed."
"Promise?" she asked, and he pulled her forward and gently hugged her.
"Dearest Willow, I whole heartedly promise that I will never leave you. I will always be here for you and our baby." He said, and she pulled back to look into his face, and saw the sincerity of his words.
"Giles?"
"Yes luv?"
"You're going to be a daddy." She giggled and Giles beamed at her words.
"This isn't happening. It's just a dream." Came Xander's quiet voice. The two looked in his direction as he stood there with his eyes closed, just a few feet away. "Any minute now, I'll wake up and it'll all be a bad dream. A crazy and really warped dream, but a dream."
The couple stood up and walked over to the brunette, and Willow placed a kiss on his cheek. He opened his eyes and stared down into her happy face, and he knew.
"This is real, isn't it? I'm not dreaming."
"Nope, you're not…….Uncle Xander."
"Uncle Xander?" he gulped.
~Part: 40~
It had been an interesting first couple of weeks for Willow after finding out about the baby, as everyone did their best to dote on her as much as possible. At times she would get frustrated, but bit her tongue and said nothing knowing that they were all just trying to help and make the adjustment a little easier for her.
After all, having a baby is going to be an incredible undertaking, but one she was sure would be worth it. But now that almost two months had gone by, and the morning sickness had passed, all of them seemed to settle down and it allowed her some much needed breathing space. Everyone that is, but Giles and Xander.
She couldn't let out a sigh without either one asking her if she needed anything, and sometimes it would erupt into a contest between the two. While arguing about who was going to do what, Xander would always say, `I'm doing it! She's my best friend!', followed by Giles retort of, `That may be so, but she is the mother of my child.'. In a way she found it rather sweet on both parts, but it was also really beginning to irritate the crap out of her.
Willow sat forward and tried to stretch out her back as Giles placed his hands on her lower back and began to apply pressure with his fingers. A moan escaped her lips and she let her head fall forward, enjoying some of the relief his hands offered.
"Is that any better?"
"Mm hmm. Much."
"I wish I could give you a proper massage."
"I know, me too. But I can't lay down on my belly anymore." She said, moving a hand to rest on her swollen stomach. Just then she felt a slight kick, nothing hard, but enough to make her smile. "Giles? Give me your hand." She said as she leaned back, then took his hand and placed it on her stomach. She watched his face intently as the baby moved under his hand, and a wide grin spread across his face.
"The baby moved." He said with barely contained excitement. "Come, lean back against me." He spread his arms out as she snuggled over, and he put an arm around her then placed both hands on her stomach. "This is truly amazing." He whispered as he felt the baby move again. "There is life growing inside of you as we speak; life that you and I created."
"Neat huh?"
"I must say, this is more than just `neat' as you put it-it is absolutely wonderful."
"Well, I guess that means I don't have to ask whether or not you're happy about this."
"Indeed not." He replied as Xander walked into the living room and sat on the coffee table. "Xander! Get off that table."
"Make me." He said with a smirk as he leaned over, took Willow's feet and placed them on his lap.
"That behavior is highly inappropriate, and you should be ashamed of yourself."
"Yeah? Well you wouldn't think so if you'd read the book." And he took the red head's shoes off and began massaging her feet, eliciting a moan of pleasure from her.
"Book? What book?"
"This book, mister smarty-pants." Xander said as he reached behind and pulled out a tiny book from his pants pocket, and handed it to Giles.
"How to cope with a first pregnancy." Giles read the title aloud.
"Pregnancy is hard on the feet and knees. Daily massages help relieve some of the pressure and aches." He kneaded the pads of her feet below her toes. "And it helps to keep her arches from falling." He finished, and Giles clumsily turned the cover with his thumb, refusing to move the other hand from its resting place on her stomach.
"Is that so?"
Willow sat quite content as Giles read and Xander massaged her feet. She was still totally blown away by Xander's acceptance and willingness to help in any way he could. The same couldn't be said at first when they found out about the baby though.
For almost a week the young man walked on egg shells around her, too afraid to talk to her in case he said the wrong thing and upset her. But his attitude towards Giles was different. If he was within Xander's view, the young man would shoot him accusing looks, and the anger radiated off him in waves.
After five days of this, Willow had had enough and went to Xander to speak with him.
"I'm happy, Xander. Can't you be happy for me, too?" she asked, eyes pleading.
"Is this really what you want, Will? A baby?"
"It is. I mean, having a baby is not something I ever thought about having before, after all, look at what we do. And I will admit, I am kinda scared about it."
"Scared of what? The baby?"
"Wouldn't you be, Xander? The responsibility……this is a little tiny person who will depend on me for everything. Everything. W-what if I'm not a good mother? What if I make mistakes? What if…………."
"Willow. It's okay." He hugged her. "I think you'll make a great mom."
"You think so?" her eyes began to water.
"Course I do. Taking care of people is what you do best." He pushed her back and kissed her forehead.
"Thanks, Xander." She sniffled. "I know Giles is pretty scared too. He won't say anything, but I know he is."
"Well sure his is. Who wouldn't be? But don't worry; Giles will make a great father……as long as he loosens up a bit." He said, causing her to laugh.
"Please don't blame him for this. It wasn't his fault-it was mine."
"Willow………."
"No, it's true. The night we……After what happened with Carol and then with Kennedy, I really needed someone that night; and so did he."
"Please don't go into detail." He held his hands up.
"I won't. But it really wasn't his fault. He cared a lot about Carol too, and he was hurting-just like I was. Try to understand? For me?"
"I'll try. I won't make any promises, but I'll try."
"That's all I ask." She'd said, and from then on the tension between her two favorite men had begun to ease up, although now it was more of a friendly rivalry.
Andrew walked into the room and over to Willow, holding a steaming plate in his hands.
"Hi there little fella." He said as he leaned down and began talking to her stomach. "Uncle Andy's got a treat for you." He sing- songed as he set the plate on the couch beside her.
"That smells delightful." Said Giles as the aroma stole his attention away from the pages he was reading…..until he looked at the food and frowned. "What in heaven's name is that concoction?"
"It's called Poutine." Andrew replied. "I'd never heard of it either until Willow told me about it."
"It smells great," Xander picked up the plate for a closer inspection. "But it looks disgusting!"
"Try a bite, it's really good." Said Willow to a wary Xander. "I have an on-line friend who lives in Ontario."
"As in Canada?" queried Giles.
"Uh huh. It's a simple recipe. French fries, spread gravy on top and sprinkle on some mozzarella cheese." She finished as Xander sampled it.
"Hey! This is great!"
"See? Told ya." She laughed. "Anyway, she told me about it a few years ago and one day I decided to give it a try. Then I told Andrew about it, and now when I feel like having Poutine, Andrew makes it for me. Isn't he sweet." She said, causing Andrew to blush.
"Well," he replied. "It's not that hard to make." He looked to Willow. "So how are you feeling? I know the morning sickness part is done."
"Yeah, thankfully. I think that was the worst part."
"Usually is. Sometime soon you'll start going through the emotional part of it. You know, when the slightest little thing might make you cry and so on." Andrew said.
"You mean, that's not just a rumor?" she asked as he sat down beside her, neither noticing that Giles and Xander had both begun to enjoy her meal.
"Nope, and neither are the cravings. It's because your hormones are going all wacky, that's all; it's nothing to worry about."
"This is really quite good." Said Giles to Xander as Willow continued her conversation with Andrew, totally enthralled.
"And the best anyone's been able figure out about the cravings is that whatever it is that you really want has something in it that your body needs at the time."
"Wow."
"I got you something too, I hope you don't mind. It's an electric back massager for when you get a lot bigger and your back really starts to hurt."
"Thank you, Andrew!"
"It's nothing." He said shyly. "And when you go into labor, it helps to ease the pain a little if you lay on your side and have someone rubbing your back too. Little circles are best."
"How do you know so much about this stuff?" she asked.
"My cousin had a baby a few years back, and I helped out whenever I could."
"I heard labor really hurts." Willow said nervously.
"Yup, that's what my cousin said too. But she also said that once the baby was put in her arms, it was all worth it. It'll be the same for you too."
"Thank you." She smiled. "This really helped me feel a lot better."
"I'm glad, and any time you need anything, just let me know. You should really eat before the cheese cools off and isn't stringy anymore." He said, and both looked for the plate, until they remembered Xander had it. They turned to see Xander and Giles, mouths chewing, and an almost empty plate.
"You ate my fries?"
"Uhhhh." They said in unison, looked to one another, and then down at the plate.