Pairing- You'll just have to figure that out lol
Disclaimer- nope... I still don't own them
Summery- someone wants Willow, dead or alive
Chapter 11
Seathing with anger, Buffy made her way home. Giles sat at the
dining room table sipping a cup of tea that Dawn had made for him.
The slayer forced herself to calm down before making her way to the
table.
"Rough visit, I take it?" Giles asked as he scrutinized the look
on her face and her posture.
"Giles, Angel just told me that he doesn't love me anymore. Can
you believe it?"
"Actually, Buffy, yes I can." he said matter-of-factly.
"What?" she said as she dropped onto a chair across from him.
"Feelings have a way of not staying the same when there is
distance involved."
"But, Giles. Falling out of love?'
"Look at what the distance did to you. Yes, at first you were
pretty depressed, shich stands to reason. Then you became accustomed
to his absence and allowed yourself to fall in love with Riley. Angel
hadn't been gone that long when you and Riley became a couple. Then
you ended that relationship, and then you turned to Spike... of all
creatures.
"Okay, here we go for a second time around with my past."
"My point is, Buffy, while he was away you went on with your
life. Isn't he aloud to do the same?"
"Just who's side are you on anyway?"
"Truthfully? No one's side."
"He also told me I was behaving like a child."
"You do have a tendancy to do that." at that statement her head
shot up to glare at him.
"He's right, Buffy. You do." said Dawn.
"Dawn!"
"See, great imitation right there." Dawn said while smirking at
her sister.
"Okay. I hate to admit it, but you two are right." she paused, "I
was just thrown so off guard. I just always thought he'd be there for
me. You know?"
"The thing is, Buffy, he always will be there for you. But as a
very good friend." Giles finished.
"I feel like such a fool, Giles. I mean, the way I treated him.
I'm so embarrased."
"Well, I guess that means you should suck it up and go apologize
to him." Dawn said with a smug look on her face.
"Your right.... but not today. Tomorrow, I'll go and see him
about it tomorrow."
"You know, Buffy, there are times when I feel more like your
father than I do a friend." Giles chuckled.
"Aren't families a nice thing?" Dawn laughed.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Morning Angel." Willow said grogily as she desended the stairs.
"Good evening, you mean." said Angel with a slight smile playing
at the corners of his mouth.
"Oh, yeah, I guess your right." she replied shyly. "I can't
believe I slept that long."
"I can. You were totally exhausted last night. Feeling better?"
he asked with concern.
"Yeah, I do. Still a little tired, but I'm okay." she replied,
trying to put him at ease.
"Good to hear. I need you to do a ssmall favor for me."
"Sure. Uh, what is it."
"I want you to take a walk with me."
"Wha... where?"
"Nowhere, really. Just a walk. Maybe we can go for a coffe."
"But I..."
"I know what your thinking, 'vampire, doesn't drink coffee'. And
your right, I don't. But you do. It'll be nice to get out for a
while."
"Oh, but.... I'd really rather just stay home. I don't feel like
a night on the town."
"Oh, come on." he said sounding jovial, "I drove all the way down
from L.A., and even promised to stay with you for a few days. The
least you can do is change and go out with me."
"Angel!!" she said sounding shocked, "Your using guilt?"
"Yes. Is it working?"
"Yes."
"Good, now hurry up, we've only got all night." he laughed.
"Alright." she started back up the stairs, but halted her steps
and said, "Angel?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you... for last night, I mean. You know, for listening to
me, and treating me the same as you always did. And for..."
"And?"
"And for being 'the perfect gentleman' when it came to, you know,
putting me to bed." she said as her face turned a shade of scarlet.
"Think nothing of it. Now, come on, "he clapped his hands
together, "times wasting."
"Okay. Back in a couple minutes." and she hurried up the stairs.
~Part: 12~
The stars twinkled brightly overhead, adding to the simple beauty
of the cresent moon shining above in the night sky. Niether one spoke
much as they walked along the lamp-lit streets of the little town,
just enjoying each others company. Across the street some teenagers
where making plans about what to do, before finally settling on going
to the Bronze. Angel and Willow turned the corner and walked down the
sidewalk leading straight into the heart of the quiet downtown.
"C'mon. There's the coffee shop. Or would you rather go to the
Bronze for a wild, fun-filled night of dancing with a vampire who
can't keep the beat?" he said and Willow smiled. Angel watched her,
waiting for the answer that he knew would come. He was just happy
that she had a smile on her face....the first real smile he's seen
since he had arrived in town. Even her eyes seemed to sparkle, like
the old Willow he used to know. It made him feel light inside knowing
that he was helping... even if there wasn't really much he could do.
"No, I think coffee will do just fine." she replied, and they
headed towards the coffee shop across the street. They entered the
shop and Angel pointed to a table.
"Why don't you grab us that table over there while I place the
order. By the way, how do you take your coffee?"
"One sugar and milk please." she replied.
"One sugar and milk... got it. Coming right up." he said, and
made his way to the counter. Willow went ahead and sat at the table
by the front window, and absent-mindedly looked around the room at
nothing in particular. Suddenly she felt a pair of eyes on her, and
looked around to see who it was, until she saw a young man sitting
a
few tables over. When he'd seen that she had noticed him, he quickly
turned his eyes down to stare into his coffee. She turned her
attention over to Angel who was on his to the table with a coffee in
each hand.
"M'lady." he said with a slight bow of his head as he set her
drink on the table in front of her, then took a seat. She looked at
him curiously.
"Why two coffee's?"
"Well, I may not drink the stuff, but no reason I can't pretend
in public. Looks a bit more natural, espessially in a coffee shop.
Don't you think?"
"Actually, now that you mention it, that does make sense." and
they both chuckled at the absurdity of it. Willow took a sip of her
coffee, and quickly put it back down.
"OHH, hot... but good, I think. I'll know better when my
tastebuds grow back." she said. Letting her eyes roam the room, they
once again settled on the young man that had been watching her a few
minutes before. And he was doing it again. This time he gave her a
smile before he averted his gaze once more.
"Seems you have an admirer."
"I guess." she said as she shrugged one shoulder.
"You know, you may not be ready to date right now, and I don't
blame you... but don't make yourself become 'alone' for the rest of
your life.'
"Angel, I don't even want to think about dating."
"That's fine, don't think about it for a while. But there's no
reason why you can't at least make some new friends. Not to mention,
you still have the gang. They care a lot about you."
"After everything that's happened, what I did... I'm too ashamed
to go near any of them."
"What about Xander? You know he'd be there for you.'
"That's even worse. He's my best friend in the world... and I
almost killed him. He was willing to die, but it was me he wanted to
be with when it happened. I can't face him. I can't face anybody."
she said sadly.
"Don't worry. Give it some time, everything will get back to
normal, the way it was."
"Nothing will be the way it was."
"Not exactly, maybe. But close... if you let it."
"Angel? After everything you did, does the guilt get any easier
to deal with over time?"
"A little. My guilt is always there, its just not quite as
strong. I can now live with what I did, but that doesn't mean the
guilt goes away."
"Oh, not quite the cheery answer I was hoping for."
"Life, Willow, goes on. Don't shut yourself away. Because if you
do... then your not really living." he said as he rested a hand on
the side of her face, and carressed her cheek with his thumb. "Your
friendship means too much to me to see you fade into obscurity." he
said softly.
~Part: 13~
It had been an amazing week for both Angel and Willow. Each night
they always started the night off by going to the coffee shop, the
same coffee shop-the same table. But after that they always found
something different to do. Sometimes just walking and talking, but
the locations were always different. One night they took along a
picnic basket and ate dinner in the woods, and the next night they
spent most of the night at the harbor, sitting there quietly and
watching all the ships as they moved slowly in the water. But sadly,
tonight was to be Angel's last night in town, and both of them were
a
little low in spirits.
"Can't you stay a little while longer?"
"I wish I could, but I've got to get back. Check on things at the
agency. And, well... I've got something I need to do while I'm there."
"What? Maybe I could help." she said hopefully.
"This is something I need to take care of myself. But thanks for
the offer." he smiled at her sincerity. "Come on. This is my last
night here, no sad faces... okay?"
"Okay. Its just... well, I'm gonna miss you."
"Don't think about that now, it'll just spoil the rest of the
evening. Lets go, the night has just begun." and he held out his hand
for her to take. "Don't forget the basket."
"Its right here. So what did you pack us this time?" she asked as
she reached down and grabbed the basket sitting by her feet, then
took his hand.
"Its a surprise."
"Okay then. Where are we going?"
"Its a surprise."
"Can't you at least give me a hint?"
"Nope." he replied.
"This basket weighs next to nothing. What are we eating? Air?"
"Did you ever hear of the saying about the curious cat?"
"Yes. And did you ever hear that cats have nine lives?"
"Come on." he said shaking his head and giving her hand a playful
tug.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Well, here we are."
"An abandoned warehouse?"
"Yeah." Angel said with confidence.
"Okay... sure."
"Its what's inside the building that counts. Go on, go inside."
he finished, and with a slight frown and a sidelong glance at Angel,
Willow opened the door and stepped inside with Angel following close
behind her. Her jaw nearly hit the floor as she looked at the table
sitting about twenty feet away. She slowly walked forward and saw two
plates with silver covers over them complete with cutlery and two lit
candles in the centre of the table. Beside the table stood a
champaigne stand filled with ice, two glasses and a bottle of
champaigne.
"Angel..." she said in disbelief, "how... when did you do this?"
"Actually, I called in a favor, well, make that two favors. I
thought this would be something you'd like to remember."
"I can't believe you did this." The shock was still in her voice.
He led her to the table and pulled out a chair for her to sit, and
she did greatfully for fear her knees would buckle. She put the
basket on the floor beside her as Angel took the seat directly across
from her. He removed the covers from the plates to reveal a
scrumptious meal of roast beef, baked potatoes and candied carrots.
"Wow, Angel!" then she stopped and thought for a moment, "But why
did I bring the picnic basket if the food is already on the table?"
she asked, confusion in her eyes.
"JTake a look in the basket." was his only answer, so she leaned
over and put her hand in the basket. At first she felt nothing, but
as she moved her hand around, it bumped into something hard and
square. She took hold and pulled it out of the basket, and held up
a
tiny little box with a green ribbon tied around it.
"What is it?" she asked in surprise.
"Open it." he said, and she slowly obeyed, her shakey fingers
barely able to untie the ribbon. She finally freed the tiny box of
the green ribbon, and removed the lid to gaze inside. A gasp escaped
her lips as she rested her eyes upon a gold, oval shaped locket with
the word 'Friends' ornately bevelled on the front of it.
"Angel, you shouldn't have! You didn't need to get me anything."
"Read the back of it. I had an inscription put on it." he said in
anticipation. She turned it over in her hand and slowly read the
words;
There is always an
Angel
Watching over you
She looked up, smiling at the play-on-words, and Angel saw in
those deep green pools the joy she was feeling.
~Part: 14~
Last night was a night she would never forget, Angel had made
sure of that. Everything about it had been a wonderful surprise. They
ate the delicious meal, although Angel had only taken a few bites
with the pretence of trying not to make her feel uncomfortable by
being the only one to eat. She thought that alone was such a sweet
gesture. He had even brought a tape recorder, and played a tape of
mixed soft rock. She was absolutely taken aback when, after the meal
was over, Angel stood up and asked her to dance with him. It seemed
like the perfect thing to do, and so she happily accepted the offer.
Sadly enough, the evening had to end at some point, and at two in
the morning it did. They walked back to her place and loaded what
little he brought, into the trunk of his car.
"I wish you didn't have to leave." she had said.
"I have to, you know that. But I will try to come back soon to
see how you are." but she found that all she could do was nod,
because the words seemed to stick in her throat.
"Do you like the locket?"
"Oh, oh I love it! Its beautiful."
"Inside there's two places to put in small pictures... I'm not
exactly photogenic, so don't worry about upsetting me by putting
anyone else's picture in there." she didn't reply, couldn't because
she didn't know what to say.
"Willow, don't look so sad. I'll try and come back as soon as I
can."
"I know. Its just... I don't know what to do without you here."
"Remember something for me?" he asked.
"What?"
"No matter how hard things seem, life is always worth living.
Life is a precious gift, something everyone takes for granted. I did
once too. Time does make things better. It may not seem like it right
now, but time is always there, and it never runs out. Just wait a
while and you will see. Everything will work out."
"I'll remember. I promise."
"Good." he said as he leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her
forehead. "I've got to go if I'm going to make it there before
sunrise. Take care of yourself, Willow. I'll be back as soon as I get
the chance." he said as he climbed into the front seat and started
the car.
"Angel?" she said quickly, and he turned his head to face her. "I
had a great time."
"So did I." and with that he put the car into gear and slowly
pulled away from the curb, then drove off.
Tonight Willow decided to head to the coffee shop. It would at
least be something familiar since she and Angel had gone there every
night for a week. She knew it was going to feel odd being there
without him, but made up her mind to go anyway.
"Life goes on." she said to herself and walked in. She placed her
order, then once the coffee was paid for, she picked it up and went
to the table by the window. She sat for a couple minutes just staring
into her cups, when a shadow fell across the table. Whe looked up and
saw the face of the young man who had been stealing glances of her
every night for a week.
"Is this seat taken?" he asked as a slight blush colored his
face. Willow regained her compsure quickly and smiled at him.
"No, its not. Care to join me?"
"Yes, thank you." he said and sat down, then extended his hand to
her. "I'm Erik."
"I'm Willow." she replied as she shook his hand.
~Part: 15~
At his touch, Willow could feel great power eminating from him,
which caused her to release his hand rather quickly.
"Your a magic user, aren't you?"
"Witch would be the proper term." Willow corrected.
"That's what I thought. I could feel it."
"What about you? I'm feeling the same thing about you. Are you a
Worlock?"
"For lack of a better term, yes I am. I use my magic a little
more discretely now though."
"Why?" she asked.
"Some things happened... some 'not very nice things'. I decided
not to use it as much, and to be a little more careful when I do use
it. Try and lead some sort of normal life again. If I can." he
said, "What about you? You felt pretty powerful, too. In fact, I've
never felt that much power from just one person before."
"Well, I uhh..."
"I'm sorry. I'm getting too personal. I didn't mean to. I just
didn't expect to be meeting a fellow magic user. I'm really sorry."
he said, and by his words and the apologetic look on his face, Willow
thought he was being genuine.
"No, its okay. I just ... I had some problems with it a short
while ago and... I decided it would be best not to use my magic
again."
"I didn't mean to pry. Its none of my business."
"No, no. Don't worry, I didn't take offence. I would probably
have asked you the same questions too. Its alright, really." she
said, hoping to make feel more at ease.
"I'm changing the subject here... are you ready???" he asked.
"Sure, go for it." she smiled.
"That guy your usually with. How come he's not here tonight with
you?"
"Oh, he had to go back home... check on his business."
"Sooo... is he your, umm, boyfriend?"
"Angel? No, he's not." she said chuckling a little, "He's just a
friend. He's been trying to help me work through a few things. That's
all. Just a friend." she thought for a moment and then replied, "I'm
not interested in dating right now."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything like that. I just got
out of a bad relationship, so I'm not looking either. I am, however,
in the market for new friends. I was just, you know, worried that
he'd think I was trying to steal his girl and that he'd pound my face
in."
"Oh, I'm soo embarrassed." she said looking into her cooling
coffee. "I just sort of assumed..."
"Its my fault. And besides, the way I came over and everything...
well, anyone else would have assumed the same thing."
":This first meeting thing isn't going quite the way you expected
it. Is it?" she asked akwardly.
"That's the one thing I've learned. Never 'expect'
anything, 'cause life has a funny way of throwing curves into any
best layed plan. And sometimes it can make for a nice surprise. I
mean, look at us for instance. I just found out that I don't need to
worry about getting my face bashed in, and I also found out that we
have something in common. Magic... even if we both did have bad
experiences with it. Maybe we could even trust each other enough in
time to talk about what happened to each of us. I'd say that alone
is
a good start."
"I must say, Erik, that's quite a way of looking at it."
"Well, looking at the 'brighter side of things' is kinda
nessessary for me right now. And being new in town, not knowing
anybody...you seemed like a nice person. Someone I could get to know
and become my first real friend in this town." he finished, trying
to
show more confidence than he actually felt.
"So, where are you from?" she asked.
"I just moved here two weeks ago from Fresno."
"What was it like there? I've never really travelled."
"Well, picture Sunnydale, but much much bigger, and a lot more
palm trees. And everyone wearing swim suits. Standard equipment, you
know. I think they even go to work wearing them." he said and they
both laughed. It felt good to laugh again. She didn't think she would
after Angel left, but as Erik said to Willow a short time ago, 'Life
has a way of throwing you curves'. This time, Willow didn't mind.
~Part: 16~
"What gift have you brought to me as an offering?" asked the
hollowy sounding voice.
"I brought this." Angel replied. "Its an antique mantel clock."
and he held the clock out, offering it to the man standing in front
of him.
"I have no interest in time. You have mistaken me with my
sister's hobby." he said disdainfully.
"No, you misunderstand. I thought that since your sister was,
well, no longer with you, and knowing her fondness for time, I just
thought you might like a time-piece... to look at it and think of
her." Angel said as the man looked at him, then to the clock.
"Yes, of course. It is truely a fine gift. I will accept it in
the good-will it was intended." he replied thoughtfully, and removed
the clock from Angel's extended arms. He moved to a small empty
pedistal and placed the antique time-piece gently on top of it, and
looked at it sadly as he remembered his sister with fondness. "You
have a request to make of me?" he asked turning back to face Angel.
"Yes, I do."
"Speak it. What is it you wish of me?"
"I wish... I wish to go out on a date, I wish to be in love, I
wish to walk on a sandy beach in the sunshine holding someon's hand,
I wish to lay beside someone without fear of losing my soul."
"I only allow one reques. If I deem it worthy, then I grant it.
You have been here before. You know the rules."
"What I am trying so badly to say is... I want to be human."
"That is a rather large reques... but not totally unexpected for
one such as yourself. Do you consider yourself to be deserving of it?"
"I-I honestly don't know." Angel said with a sigh.
"So, you are in love? Is this the reason you made this request of
me?"
"No, I am not in love with anyone. But I wish to be at some point
in my future."
"Then why such a wish to be mortal? Surely, you must realize what
being mortal entails? It means in the end, you will die... there is
no more imortality."
"Of course I know that. Its just... I've had the opportunity to
see what it could be like for me. Granted, we went out as friends and
that's all we'll ever be, but the time we spent doing things... even
simple things like going out for coffee... I had the chance to feel
almost normal, and I liked it. In trying to make a friend feel human
herself... she in turn allowed me to believe, even for that short
time, that I was human too. Ever since what happened between Buffy
and me, I've never allowed myself to get close to anyone like that
again. Now I want to be able to meet a woman and give my heart to
her. I want to fall in love and spend the rest of my life making her
happy." Angel finished, a pleading tone in his voice.
The man stared at Angel, almost as if seeing into his soul. He
stood motionless for only a moment, but it seemed like an eternity
to
the brooding vampire. The man's brows drew together in a frown as he
scrutinized Angel.
"You do not yet understand what is already there. You have
blinded yourself for you do not see what is clearly marked. You wish
to control that which you have no control... your destiny."
"And what is my destiny?"
"You will know when the time comes."
"I don't understand."
"You will. When the time is right, all will become clear to you."
"But what about my request?" Angel asked, fearing the worst.
"I have not forgotten about your request, and I have considered
it. Humanity is not to be yours... not now. I will not grant you that
which you do not yet deserve... but I will grant you the next best
thing."
"And what would that be?"
"Your soul."
"Uh, I already have a soul." Angel replied with a touch of
resentment in his voice.
"That is true. But it is now yours to keep. It is now bound to
you, nothing can change that... unless I so chose to."
"You mean to tell me..."
"Nothing you do will change what I have done. You may now leave."
And Angel left the great hall of the 'Powers that Be', footsteps
echoing loudly behind him.
~Part: 17~
"C'mon, Willow. You gotta talk to me sometime. Might as well be
now."
"I-I'm really not in the mood for company, Xander. Can't this
wait for another day?"
"Its already been a few weeks since I saw you. I've left you
alone 'cause I thought that's what you wanted. Now its time to return
the favor." he paused, "Everyone's worried about you... I'm worried
about you."
"I'm fine, really."
"Yeah, that's nice." he responded as he squeezed himself between
Willow and the door, and entered the house. "Thanks for the invite
there. Yes, I would love to come in and have a cup of coffee while
we
sit and chat. That would be just dandy. Thank you ever so much for
the offer." he said. "Not the sarcasm here."
"Duly noted. Come in, sit down, drink coffee, chat a spell." she
said and they both made they're way to the kitchen. "So, how are
things with you? Any better between you and Anya?" she asked as she
grabbed two cups from the cupboard and filled them with the hot,
black liquid from the coffee maker.
"We're getting along, almost. As well as can be expected, I
guess." he watched as she put two spoons of sugar into his cup and
one into hers, then pour milk into both cups.
"What about you? Honestly... none of this half-assed 'I'm fine'
crap. I want the truth."
"I'm not as bad off as you think, Xander. Really. I've even made
a new friend."
"Oh? Boy? Girl? Do I know this person?"
"What is this? The Spanish Inquisition?"
"C'mon, Will. We're all worried about you. We have a right to
know."
"No one has any rights what-so-ever when it comes to my personal
life. Do you really think you can just march in here and make
demands? No one's read about my death in the obituaries, so I'm
obviously not suicidle." she said as her green eyes flashed with
anger.
"What the hell is your problem, Will? Are you even giving any
thought as to what we're all going through?We're all trying to get
on
with our life, pretend that nothing ever happened. Its kinda hard to
do when your not even around. You won't accept phone calls, you won't
see anybody, nothing."
"Your right, Xander. I'm sorry." she replied when the young man
finished his verbal tirade. He saw the anger melt away as she
continued. "Its just... I know that everyone will try to treat me the
same as always, but no matter what, its all still going to be
different. You guys may not show it, but you'll think of me
differently now, and I know that no one will be able to help it...
but its true."
"Maybe, but you can't hide from us forever, you need to give us a
chance."
"I know that." she conceeded. Xander looked at her face,pale, and
dark circles around the eyes.
"Not sleeping well?" he asked with concern.
"Bad dreams." she relented with a sigh.
"Want to tell me about it? I'm cheaper than a doctor." he said
and she gave him a little smile.
"No, its okay. I want to forget about them. They gotta stop
sometime."
"Okay then, how about telling me about this new mystery playmate
of yours."
"Well, his name is Erik, and he's really nice. We meet at the
coffee shop and talk."
"Erik? I don't recall the name."
"That's because you've never met him. He just moved here from
Fresno a few weeks ago. You'd like him, he's funny. Actually, he
sorta reminds me a little of you."
"Then he can't be all that bad, now can he. You can never have to
many me's running around." he said and burst out laughing, and Willow
couldn't help but join in. "There, you see. This isn't so bad now.
Is
it?"
"No, its not." she said, wiping her eyes as they watered from the
laughter.
"You know, Will. You can talk to me anytime about anything. I'll
always be there to listen." he said, sincerity in his voice.
"I know, Xander. Thank you."
"Hey, don't sweat it. So, tell me more about your new friend. I
need the gossip for the others."
~Part: 18~
"I'm telling ya, she seems fine to me. I think all she really
needed was some time to deal with it all." Xander said after telling
the rest of the gang about his visit with Willow. "Her biggest worry
is just that, well, she thinks we'll all try 'too' hard to treat her
like the old Willow, to make things feel normal again. But that we'll
all think of her differently... which you guys gotta admit, she's
right on that one." Xander finished with everyone nodding in
agreement.
"She has to realize that we need time too. We can't just snap our
fingers and turn back the clock." Buffy replied.
"I bet Willow could." said Xander and Buffy and Giles glared at
him. "Hey, joke. It was a joke."
"Yes, and not a very humorous one at that." Giles commented.
"Anyway," Xander continued, "she knows you guys need time too.
She'll come to us when she's ready. Our visit today started out kinda
rough, but we ended up having a nice time. She really started to
relax and enjoy herself. We even joked around a little bit, like we
used to."
"That's something anyway." Buffy added.
"Yeah, well. As well as I hate to admit it, the credit had to go
to dead-boy. He was the one that broke her out of the shell she was
in."
"Your right , Xand. His staying with her did sound like it
helped." Buffy said as she looked down at the floor.
"Buffy. Did you ever apologize to Angel for the tiff you two
had?" Asked the ex-watcher curiously.
"No. I went over a couple of times, but no one was ever home. At
least now I know why."
"What a shame you two couldn't have worked it out."
"I guess he was still mad, because he never said good-bye when he
left." Buffy said dejectedly.
"Your not jelous because he spent the entire week with Willow,
are ya? He was there to help, and that's what he did. They are just
friends. I mean, hey, this is Willow we're talkin about."
"Is she the same Willow,really? Lets face it, never in a million
years would we have even considered the possibility of her trying to
destroy the world. But that's exactly what she tried to do." Buffy
finished.
"Okay, she did try. And why? The woman she loved was murdered
right in front of her eyes. She wanted revenge. Who wouldn't?"
"She crossed the line, Xander."
"But its okay for you though, I suppose."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"What am I talking about? How about this... 'Faith poisoned my
vamp boyfriend and the only thing that can save him is the blood from
a slayer. I'll kill her and give Angel her blood so he can live.'
That ring a bell? You would have killed her, and you did try to just
to save him. And why? 'Cause you loved him. I really don't see a
difference between you and Willow. Except that she had magic to use
instead of a knife."
"Watch it Xander. That was different."
"Why, Buffy? Why was it different? Because your the 'slayer', and
it was 'your' boyfriend?"
"You know what Faith was like."
"Yes I do. And I know what Warren was like. I also know that when
you were trying to kill her, you were trying to kill a human being.
She wasn't a demon or a vampire. She was human... just like Warren.
You know something... Willow knows where to put the blame, and
accepts it. You blame anyone or thing you can, and then justify it
with 'That was different', to make yourself feel better."
"That's not true!"
"Grow up, Buffy. You know, I may act like a big kid, but I'm
grown up enough to know that, and admit it. Maybe its time you did
the same." Xander stood shaking his head as the room went
silent. "Maybe Willow's right. She should stay away a while longer.
With friends like this, who needs enemies. See ya later, G-man." he
finished and left the house, with Buffy and Giles staring after him.
"It was different. You agree with me, don't you Giles?"
"Buffy, I'm afraid I must agree with Xander... though I wish I
didn't have to admit it."
"But why?"
"For exactly the reasons Xander stated. Warren and Faith, they
were both human beings. Willow did kill Warren for killing Tara, a
young woman she was deeply in love with. Angel was going to die
without the blood of a slayer. And in trying to kill her, you were
trying to save him."
"Giles..."
"No, Buffy. You two tried to do the exact same thing for slightly
different reasons. But remember one thing... Angel is still alive,
Tara is not. You and I, of all people, should understand Willow's
loss. I felt the same when I lost Jenny. I even tried to kill Angelus
on my own. You have felt the pain of loss when you had to kill Angel.
It is time for understanding, not judgement." Giles said, then left
Buffy to think over the words both he and Xander spoke.
~Part: 19~
"I must say, that's quite a story. I'm glad you decided that you
trust me enough to tell me about it."
Well, I-I think we've gotten to be good enough friends. And, and
I like the time we spend together."
"So do I."
"Well, I've told you my story... what do you think??" Willow
asked nervously.
"I don't think any less of you if that's what you're asking.
Anyway, I would've done the same thing... well, maybe not destroy the
world, nothing quite so grandios, but I would've done the revenge
thing." Erik said and saw the relief flood over the red headed coffee
companion.
"You, uhh, haven't told me your story yet."
"Well, I'll tell ya. Its nothing quite as facinating as yours,
not by a long shot. But here it goes. More than anything my 'friends'
treated me like a sideshow freak. Always wanting me to do this spell
or that spell, whatever would amuse them at the time. Espessially
when it came to they're homework. It was fine whenever 'they' wanted
me to use my magic, but if I did little things for myself, stupid
little things like getting dressed I would use an incantation
and 'boom' dressed. Things like that, time savers for me really. But
they would turn around and tell me to quit showing off. Well, one day
they ragged on me constantly, and that night they decided to have a
party, and thought it would be great entertainment to bring out the
main attraction.... me.
So because of they're attitude all that day, and having the nerve
to expect me to do tricks that night, I flat out refused. They
started harping on me like you wouldn't believe and... lets just say
it was like watching a male version of 'Carrie', but without the
blood and death."
"Wow..."
"Yeah, that's about it. I decided to leave and start a new life
where no one knows me. You have no idea what its like, having
friends who want you to use your magic when its what 'they' want, but
put you down for it when they don't need it."
"Oh, yes I do. When Buffy decided we were ready to go up agaisnt
Glory, she practically forced me to use magic."
"Glory? The god right?? The one you mentioned earlier?"
"Yup, that's her. And when Dawn made a wish to a vengence demon
and trapped us all in the house, they were all yelling at me to do
something. Saving Buffy's vamp boyfriend's soul was okay, bringing
Buffy back from the dead was okay... the list goes on. But when they
didn't need me to use it, they would put me down for the little
things, like you said." she finished.
"Really? You do know what I went through."
"Boy, do I."
"I have to tell you though, your so called friends aren't exactly
what I'd call friends. I can't believe they would actually make you
think you were addicted to magic. Who could do that?"
"Oh, but I was." she replied.
"No you weren't. Magic is not an 'addiction'... for those who
have the power. I look at magic the same way as I do about
technology. What do they both have in common? Simply, they make life
a little bit easier to deal with."
"Wow," said Willow thoughtfully, "I've never thought of it that
way before."
"Maybe its time you did. Answer me this. I they even remotely
thought you were addicted to magic, would they really have asked you
to use it? That would be like giving an alcoholic a drink, or a
druggie some cocaine." he said sternly, then sipped his luke-warm
coffee.
"I-I guess your right." Willow said, a little unsure. "Its just,
well, I can't see them doing that to me... why would they?"
"It just boils down to the same old thing. Jelousy. They want
what you've got, but will never have it. And as far as the Slayer
goes... Buffy? Was that her name? Anyway, she sounds more like she's
worried about having the spot light somewhere other than on her. She
strikes me as the sort who likes to be the centre of attention."
"Yeah, well, she does like attention." Willow conceeded.
"Thought so. The trick is, don't let anyone tell you what to do.
If you want to use your powers, then do it. No one has the right to
dictate how you live your life."
"No one will. Not anymore."
~Part: 20~
Willow lay on her bed staring at the ceiling, as her thoughts
jumped all over the place, as did her emotions. She had cut short her
time with Erik tonight. After the discussion they had, she just
wanted to go home and try to sort it all out in her head. She gave
him the excuse of being tired and having a slight headache, not that
it wasn't true after all. He had accepted that good naturedly and
offered to walk her home, but she politely refused and said her good-
bye's and left.
What bothered her more than anything, was that what he had said,
made so much sense to her. She looked around the darkened room, then
turned her head to look out the window at the stars. 'Don't see many
stars, clouds must be up there in the way' she thought. The streets
were quiet, not a single soul out walking or driving as far as she
could see.
She missed having the tall, dark and undead around. He was
actually a lot of fun to be with. They spent a lot of time just
talking, but she also got the chance to find out that he had quite
the sense of humor. The time they spent together made her feel good
about herself, and not once did he pop into 'Brood' mode. He was
definately not the same vampire she had known a few years ago. He was
very sweet, and seemed to genuinely care about how she felt. She even
thought of Xander's visit, even though it didn't start off great in
the begining, she did end up g a good time. They laughed and joked,
and talked about old times. She did tell him a little bit about her
feelings, and about her nightmares, but not what they were about ot
how frequently they came to her. She couldn't tell him they came
everytime she closed her eyes, so vivid and exact in every detail.
The entire week that Angel had stayed, she never slept a wink...
not after that first night when the dream first came to her. She had
gone into the medicine cabinet in the washroom and took her parents
amphetamines to stay awake. When Angel thought she had gone to her
room to sleep each night, she was actually either reading or typing
quietly on her lap top.
After he left, however, she decided to try sleeping, maybe the
nightmare wouldn't come back. But it had. For almost two weeks Willow
tried to sleep, but was always interupted by the same melting faces
telling her to stop making it so hot. For the next three days, Willow
started taking the pep pills again, the dreams had become to much for
her to handle.
She lifted the locket that rested against her chest and opened it
to reveal two pictures. Hers and Angel's. The only picture she could
use was a picture from the 'Book of Angelus' she had scanned into the
computer years ago for Giles. She went into her files, found the
picture of him and sized it down. She printed it out and carefully
cut out the picture and placed it in the small space beside hers. She
smiled to herself as she studied his face, thinking how surprised
he'll be when he see's that his face is the second picture in her
ornate piece of jewelery he had so thoughtfully given her.
She had always know that he was good looking, but she had never
really studied his face so carefully before. The strong jaw line,
piercing eyes that seemed to look straight through a person. She
closed the locket and pressed it to her chest.
He told her of the arguement that he'd had with Buffy, of which
she was not surprised had happened. The slayer had a way of thinking
that no matter how many boyfriends she goes through, she still
expects to have Angel waiting in the wings for her when she decides
she's ready for him. She could not understand where Buffy got her
thinking from. Joyce always seemed pretty level headed to Willow.
Maybe she got it from her father. Who knows, it wasn't worth putting
up the effort to think about it.
Willow's eyes began to droop, so she decided there was only one
thing to do about it.... she swallowed a pill and grabbed her lap top.