Rating- pg13
Warning- angst abounds
Pairing: Spike/Angel
Summery: what if Spike and not Darla had found Angel the night he was ensouled?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Boxer Rebellion
He stumbled into the room smelling of liquor, and blood, and tears. His false breathing hitched as he fell into sobbing. "Don't look at me." He muttered as he fell to the floor. "Please, just don't." Sobbed Spike. Angel reached for him and Spike recoiled. "Don't touch me!"
"William, what happened?" asked his sire slowly. "Are you ok? Do I need to kill someone?" solicited Angel remembering the last time he'd seen his childe cry.
"I, I, I didn't want to! I didn't speak enough Chinese to explain. I didn't want to."
"I'm sure you didn't, pet. What happened?" beseeched Angel getting more worried by the minute.
"I-I-I was fighting this vamp who was about to eat this little girl. And-and-and the slayer saw me vamped out and I tried to explain, but I couldn't articulate to her what I was doing and she started and and and it was me or her and and and I killed her! And as she died in my arms she asked me to tell her mother she was sorry! Well what the fuck did she have to apologize for? That she'd been called against her will or that she'd been killed at the hands of a beast? And I brought her body to her mother and and and the woman thanked me! She fucking thanked me for bring her baby corpse home!"
"Hush hush now. Come lay next." Said Angel softly his childe obeyed. "It was self-defense. There was nothing you could do. You did what was best."
"No touching, I'm dirty."
"No you're not. You're beautiful." He said as he stroked the boys face. "Have you fed?" Spike shook his head. "You need to feed. You're always telling me this. And you're drunk. And you're covered in mud. We're gonna remedy this." He said as he picked up his childe, undressed him and put him in the hot bath he'd drawn only minutes before. He looked at his near comatose ward and knew he would not drink from the bottle no matter how he was cajoled. Angel gulped the bottle down and slid in to the bath behind Spike. He slowly washed blood and dirt and tears off his childe as he made soft hushing noises. Spike finally stopped crying and just relaxed under his sire's ministrations. He leaned back as Angel tugged on him. Spike rested his head on the larger man's shoulder. Angel exposed his neck and pulled Spike closer. Whispering sweet nothings he persuaded the boy to bite him. "I love you." He whispered as Spike drank. "I love you, William, don't ever leave me. I'd die without you. I need you strong and healthy by my side. I need you, hear?" he slowly washed his hair and cleaned the boy's wounds. "You're my beautiful childe, my mate, my life. I feel ill at the thought of losing you. No matter what you fight. I'm proud of you tonight. You did what you needed to do, what I needed you to do. I love you. You did nothing wrong, hear? Nothing wrong." Spike stopped drinking. And Angel just smiled at him. "Better?"
"Hunger? Check. Clean? Check. Sober? Check. Wanting to be here for you? Check. Can we go to bed?" he asked softly. Angel nodded with a slow smile. "Why do I deserve you?" he asked of his sire.
"I think the PTB lost track of us a long time ago." Said Angel quietly. "They figure that we haven't done anything wicked in a few years so why not give us free rein for a while. Anyway, we're the good guys now so we get what we want."
"The good guys." Said Spike softly as he started to cry again.
"William, look at me, boy. You did nothing wrong. I would have done the same, anyone would have."
"I don't like letting you down. You think so much of me. I don't mind having killed her so much as the fact I enjoyed it. I loved it. And not just the fight not the exhilaration of fighting a worthy opponent, but the kill. I killed a slayer. I've never thought of a kill as something fun just survival or personal revenge. But I broke her neck it wasn't feeding. I loved it. I felt as though my skin were glowing like a fucking virgin feels the morning after. Yes, you would have done it, but you wouldn't have gotten off on it. I try so hard to be the man I have to be to be by your side. But tonight I failed I lost to myself, I've never lost before."
"You didn't drink from her."
"I knew you'd never had me if I did."
"You could have lied to me."
"You would have known by my face."
"I don't believe you, Will."
"Am I William? Am I your sweet dear boy or am I the monster who wears his face?"
"The very fact that you're sorry for enjoying it shows you're my baby. The demon wouldn't give a damn, wouldn't be here with me now. He be out killing the innocent."
"I love you." He said softly through the tears.
"I love you too.. Now let's go to bed."
~~~*~~~
"So wait, let me get this right." Said the blond. "You're Angel and you are a vampire with a soul." She said sarcastically. "And you say we're on a Hellmouth which literally sucks the world into a hell dimension and you know this Master guy."
"Sire's sire. I know it's hard to believe," said Angel to the slayer.
"And you give a damn that he's going to start an apocalypse why? Because you have a soul? Ok let's just say I believe you. Who the hell is your friend?"
"I'm Spike." Said Spike with a wicked smirk enjoying the scene. "You're really little for a slayer."
"Wait, William the bloody master of parlor tricks with railroad spikes, slayer of two slayers, is your buddy. And, Spike, you want to save the world why?"
"Tobacco, dog racing, Man U? Any number of reasons really one being that I like not being on fire in a hell dimension. I need a drink anyone want anything?"
"Rum and Coke. Buffy?"
"Um, a café au lait?"
"Coming up."
"Does he always go from angry to thirsty?" asked the slayer confused.
"No, keep your eye out for something shiny, he's just gone to investigate, he's like small children and birds in that respect." He scanned the bar. "There it is." He said pointing to a girl wear a silver top.
"You're joking." Said the slayer as she checked the girl out. "She's not pretty."
"No, no, no, trust me, it's nothing to do with her: it's her shirt. If you want to distract Spike for any period of time give a piece of tin foil."
"The Slayer of Slayers?"
"Look don't bring that up again. It's a touchy subject. One didn't speak English and thought he was evil and the other just plain wouldn't believe him, Nicky Woods was nothing if not obtuse and she wouldn't give up, she kept coming back and one time it was either die or kill. It was self-defense you would have done the same in his shoes."
"Maybe he should have died." Said Buffy coldly.
"You so much as look at him in a funny way and I won't kill you but I'll make you wish you were never born. We're here to help you of our own freewill and if you touch my childe you will die. Don't fuck over your allies. We're the good guys not the badies."
"Why are you the good guys? A souled vamp and his pet?"
"I'm in it for redemption. Spike's in it because he can, he's not like us he's enjoyed exactly two kills. I'm sure it doesn't take a genius to figure out which two. But he never sought out either. He is just as pure as he was the day he died. I mean, he turned his fucking mother for chrissakes cause he loved her. He's a vamp so he's evil. . . kinda but more in the "acts as if he's gonna whisper and then screams in your ear" type evil. He enjoys a good bit of torture as he basically views it as a game. He loves pissing people off and always enjoys a good brawl but he's more a yob than an evil being. He will always be that innocent boy he was the night he died. If you touch him, look at him, or in anyway threaten him, I kill you."
"Wow, fatherly much?" asked Buffy as Spike came back with the drinks.
He kissed Angel on the cheek and said, "One of these days I'm weaning you off of girly drinks." He said handing him the plastic Cisco cup.
It suddenly clicked for Buffy. "Oh. Ok so, what do we know about this Master guy?"
"Me kicked me once and told me I was a disgrace to the race as I bought Dru a doll instead of a child." Said Spike helpfully. "He's a messy eater, He's big on prophecies. He likes his big showy rituals (much like fluffy here when un-house broken). And oh yeah, he's going to kill us all." Said Spike sarcastically.
"William." Warned Angel. "Why don't you meet me in an hour." He said with an edge to his voice. Spike gave him a pouty look but exited the Bronze quietly. "He has a tendency to dislike blonds, he has a history. . . He doesn't really like anyone to be honest, he has a history. But he's right. The next big thing coming up is the Harvest, kill the vessel of the Master and he's screwed. Then there's gonna be an anointed one, uber sort of vamp. Don't worry about that for a while focus on the Harvest."
"That's your font of wisdom?" she asked.
"God helps those who help themselves. Now if you'll excuse me I have a brassed off childe to find." He said and swooped out of the club.
"What a hottie." Lamented Buffy as she walked back to her friends.
~~~*~~~
"William!" called Angel softly like a predator mocking the hunted. "Oh, William, come out come out wherever you are!" he called as he walked down an alley. "Why are you hiding? I know you're here."
"Don't treat me like a child, Angelus," said a voice from the shadows. "Don't speak to me like a child. I haven't been a fledgling in some 118 years so don't treat me like one! You just ordered me out like some minion not yet worthy of your presence. If you want me to leave I will but don't tell me like that. I'm leaving." His eyes were red from crying he held a fag in each hand but could smoke neither as he was shaking.
"William, you were scaring the girl." He said softly he said reaching for the boy whom flinched.
"I was just telling her the truth. I don't get why you want to work with her in the first place. We could save the world without her. But you see this as good training to leave her in good stand when we aren't here to fight her battles."
"Isn't that a good thing?" he asked confused.
"I saw the way you looked at her. Don't pretend it wasn't there."
Angel just sighed. "I love you, William. I don't want some 12 year old little girl. I want you I'm with you. You were scaring her. I sent you out because you were scaring her. Maybe I shouldn't have ordered you out, you're right. But I certainly didn't do it so that I could get leg up in some fucking kids' club." He said as he backed Spike up against the wall. "Don't be stupid. Don't leave because I may have giving some chit the eye. You're my mate, I love you." He took one of the cigarettes off his lover as Spike bit him. "I love." Whispered Angel.
Buffy watched in a shadow. Some 12 year old little girl? She'd see about that.