Rating- pg13
Warning- angst abounds
Pairing: Spike/Angel
Summery: what if Spike and not Darla had found Angel the night he was ensouled?
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"Where have you been? I've been worried about you!" demanded Angel as his childe walked in to the mansion they had just bought.
"I went over and apologized to the Slayer on your behalf, I've been on damage control for the last three hours. I'm the mean one, you're supposed to be nice and soulful but as it was, you were mean." He said coldly acting on Buffy's behalf. "Oh and hey, thanks for telling her about my history with blonds, that's sweet of you to just pour my life out for her."
"Wait. . . A) I simply said you had a history and therefore hated blonds. And B) I thought I was supposed to get her to not like me. I thought you felt threatened didn't you tell me not to dance with her before we went in?"
"You could have let her down easily. All it would have taken was puppy dog eyes, lets be friends, puppy dog eyes and the situation would have been over. I thought you were thought to be the one it touch with humanity?" said Spike.
Then his Sire pulled him towards himself by the hips. "I was worried," he said again. "I didn't know where you were. And I thought we were long past cat-and-mouse games. Hum?" he asked tilting Spike's chin back.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to cause you to fret." He said and chastely kissed his Sire on the mouth. "She's a nice little kid." He said.
"Who?" asked Angel. "Oh the Slayer? Is she? How pleasant for her. Don't get attached, heart, they're like goldfish, they have a life expectancy of five minutes."
"I never met a nice Slayer. I always thought they were not that human, more like a killing machine. But she has a mom, and friends, and narrow opinions on Luke Skywalker's sexuality. And more than anything, she has a distinct innocence about her. She goes out and risks her life every night to save the world that's strength, but when she's scorned by a boy she goes home and cries. It makes me feel slightly ill."
"Oh, Will," said Angel and pulled the vaguely red eyed boy to him. "I know, shhh, I know. It's not fair and life sucks," he smirked and went on, "and a millennia ago some old men decided that a poor little girl would have to face all this by herself and it never got changed. That sucks too. But there is nothing you or I can do about except try to make sure that this little girl isn't all by herself."
"What about the prophecy? Should we tell her she's going to die?" asked Spike angry at the world.
"No, all we can do is try to make the prophecy wrong. Hello, we're William the Bloody and Angelus respectively, if we can prove all the prophecies wrong why can't we help Buffy conquer hers? We're not just going to watch her die, I promise you and do I ever not come through?" he asked softly with a smile.
"No, you never fail, I guess I'm just freaking out."
~~~*~~~
Flashback
They had been running for a month and a bit when Darla spotted them in Thailand. This was where Spike's world fell apart and caused him to hate blonds for the rest of his unlife. The crazy blond bitch had it in for them. Angry at Angel for getting a soul and angrier still at Spike for consorting with the anomaly she was out to destroy them. All over the world they had fled her yet they could not get away. It was getting worse, she almost seemed to be a step ahead of them and Spike was starting to wonder if she didn't view this as a game of sorts. The faster then ran the closer she seemed to get. Penn, the beloved blond son came home to his grandsire to join the fun. The second of Angelus' children had always been favored by the man. The two had spent days torturing Spike simply because they were bored and he was weaker than they. As Angel, he clung to Spike which left Penn alone and livid. Drusilla held their speed back slightly, and so she killed Drusilla.
Spike had neither ate nor slept since the incident. He was skin and bones. After watching that stone cold blond bitch kill his Sire, as a lesson to him about running away, he was a mere slip of a boy. Speech seemed to be a lost art to William, he sat silent for most of the day answering questions in yes and no answers. He had fed once after Angel beaten him to the point where if he had gone any longer Spike would have been dead, only then did he submit to being fed all other times he simply shied away when Angel came near him. He cried all night while the other man slept for he would not weep in front of the other man. And he moved like an animated corpse, which he was but never had it been evident before.
He could feel the absence of her within himself. Vampires are telepathist and her being gone meant loosing a part of his own mind. Therefore he lost all his slight touches of second sight. He could no longer hear the stars, and even though he had always ignored them, he suddenly missed their mindless prattling. Never before had he felt so alone in his own head.
Sometimes he could feel Angel within his mind but he instantly blocked the man out. Deep down he knew the man was trying to comfort him but he still resented him for Drusilla's death. He knew it was irrational but he blamed Angel for her death. Angel was feeling the pain too for his childe had died, yet he seemed to get by, which made Spike even more angry.
Finally one day Angel had lost his patients and tried to fix Spike the only way how: he beat the unliving daylights out of him. Spike had fought back yet was weak from not feeding for so long. Eventually he passed out from Angels barrage. As soon as the boy was out Angel feed him while still unconscious and cleaned and dressed his wounds. Upon waking Spike had clung to him and wept like a child. Held for hours, by the one person who still loved him, made him feel better, cleaner. And then night when they boarded a boat headed to Amsterdam Spike was whistling and holding his Sire's hand.
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