~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 11~
Angel kissed Spike's forehead and drank the glass of blood while watching his sleeping boy. Vampires had a tendency to look dead while they slept. But Spike never had. Sucking his thumb, turning over, talking, and on one memorable occasion nearly sleep walking into a day lit street Spike was never still for long enough to seem lifeless. Angel smiled and went into the bathroom again. Filling the huge, insulated ice bucket with hot water he placed it by the bed with the last of the human blood warming in it. A short note ordered Spike not to get out of bed, to drink the blood, and to try and go back to sleep. They had run out of blood amazingly quickly. He had written that he would be back in a half hour and put the time at the bottom of the note knowing of Spike's fear of abandonment. After pulling the blankets up to Spike's chin Angel left.
None of the horrors he had seen earlier in the night had prepared him for what he saw in the stairway. Darla didn't see him, she had her back to him. Only human, she didn't sense his presence. He hadn't thought she would be stupid enough to hang around. The pulse within her body made him feel ill. Already he had planned out dozens of death scenes for her. They all seemed too kind now. Maybe he would turn her, she would last longer as a vamp. From her stance he could tell that she had no idea that he and Spike were in the building but he was still glad that the door had two locks on it. He silently sidled back up the stairs and took the elevator instead. The sky was becoming dangerously light and so he took the sewers to Willy's. The barkeeper gave him an odd look when he ordered yet more blood and a box of salt but Angel offered no explanation. He wouldn't give the snitch anything to sell.
The room was silent when Angel walked back in. Spike had moved slightly and all the blood had been drunk. Angel could see tear stains on the note he had left. Spike hadn't expected him to come back. Guilt swept over the dark vampire. The hotel fridge easily held the large containers of blood, he smiled and felt domestic somehow. He slipped out of his shoes and laid down next to Spike. Fingers swept through white hair as Angel said softly, "Will, wake up." Blue eyes opened filled with confusion, "You drank the blood I left. Good boy."
"You came back?"
"I'm not leaving you. Told you that all ready. I just went to get more blood."
"Thank you for not leaving, I was trying to figure out how I was going to run meself a bath."
Sighing Angel said, "There's no need." Spike's wounds were healing quickly, Angel liked watching the process it comforted him, "I'm right by your side. But I'll go run you a bath, I'll be right in the next room. Call me if you want me."
"I think I can deal with you being in the loo." Spike rolled his eyes but Angel still squeezed his hand reassuringly as he got up. He saw that Spike's ear had pretty much grown back as the boy had slept. His fingers were mending slowly. And his eyelids were still missing but the wounds looked as though they would soon knit themselves together and regenerate. "I think I can walk again."
"Good!" Angel laughed slightly as he was jarred from his thoughts.
He ran the bath warm, not hot. And he poured some of the canister of salt into the bath tub, just enough so that he could taste it. Centuries of wounds had taught him that almost anything could be cured with a saline bath. Spike had been lying on that dirty floor for at least 48 hours. His flesh was dead but that didn't mean that he couldn't get an infection of sorts. Angel had seen a master vampire die from a scratch that had gotten some holy water into itself. The master had not cleaned it properly. Two weeks later he died of a mystical form of septicemia. Angel wasn't going to risk it; he had no idea what was living on the floor of Spike's crypt.
As he entered the bedroom he saw Spike standing and taking small, halting steps towards the bathroom. He surged forward to help but Spike held a hand out in front of himself. "I want to do this meself, let me." Angel nodded but stayed close to catch him if need be. Spike smiled as he entered the lavatory, his sense of smell had picked up the faint traces of salt in the air, "A saline bath? You're Florence Bloody Nightingale!" He looked expectantly at Angel, "Am I allowed some privacy?"
"You can't undress yourself," the old vampire said simply.
"I can do whatever I blood well- oh." Spike looked down at his ruined hands. "I see. . . I don't really need a bath." He suddenly felt extremely awkward in front of his sire, even though the man had been setting his bare wounds only hours before. He had come down from his high, after being starved for so long he had become euphoric after drinking so much blood. He had gotten too emotional, said things he shouldn't have.
Angel had to stop himself from laughing, the boy was filthy. "Don't be daft. You need a bath. It's not as though I'll see anything new. It's me," he realized that perhaps that wasn't the best reassurance, "I won't hurt you, I'll barely touch you, I'll just get you undressed and wash you hair and wounds. Ok? Nothing funny. I won't. . . touch you."
With a small nod Spike looked away. He wanted to slip away, if only into his own mind. Didn't want to see Angel watching him. Didn't want to see Angel's disgust. Didn't want to see how bad his wounds truly were. Ashamed of his weakness he didn't want Angel to see him so broken. He sunk into memories, dances, poetry, murder, sex, picnics, clubbing, LSD, Angelus, Angelus' hands, times when Darla was gone and. . . he broke that line of thought quickly. Hot Chocolate, weetabix, the Sex Pistols, slayers, killing slayers, souls, electrical chips, fish and chips, consumption, death, Cecily.
A sudden voice broke into his reverie, "Look at me, Spike." He didn't move, "William, look at my eyes and nowhere else."
Spike looked up and saw nothing but love and kindness in those eyes. Something inside him melted as he felt Angel's fingers flutter over his open wounds and he said softly, in a broken voice, "I'm sorry for failing you, Sire. I should have been stronger, fought harder. I'm sorry, Angel."
Shock swept over the older vampire. Had Spike really just called him sire while cognizant of the fact that he was Angel? *Not* Angelus?
~Part: 12~
As he washed Spike's hair he said softly, "Drusilla and Darla are in the hotel. I'm going to kill Darla, what should I do about Dru?"
Spike was lying in the bath with Angel's arm supporting him around his back. With a soft sigh he said, "I could feel Dru when we got here, I thought I was going mad. Please don't kill her, Angel, she's too mad to realize what she did. She didn't help, she just stood by. Please don't hurt her. Please, sire, she thought it was all in fun, the way she does." A single tear fell down his face, he wouldn't be surprised if Angel killed Dru despite of what he had said.
"As you wish, Childe." Angel leaned forward to wipe the tear away and felt that the water was only lukewarm, Spike had been in there for quite a while. Stunned at his sire's subservience Spike said nothing and so Angel spoke again. "Let's get you out and dried off. You can get some sleep, Will. Or would you like me to just run you a clean bath you can soak in? I'll be back in half an hour."
"That's it?"
"I want her dead and can find no pleasure in torturing her, I want to be back here with you. Unless. . . do you want me to turn her and chain her up? Then you can torture her."
"That wouldn't be very good for your soul."
"Fuck my soul," said Angel with vehemence, "I don't give a damn at this point. And I truly doubt that this would make me feel any guilt. She hurt my favorite childe; she hurt you, Will."
"But you can't even be bothered to hurt her a little? Humph." Spike turned to look at the bathroom wall.
With a slight laugh Angel said, "Anything I do will simply prolong her stay on this earth. I'd rather dispatch her to hell and then come back to you."
Spike studied him for a long minute. He couldn't get a pulse (no pun intended) on his sire's actions. The young vampire didn't understand why the man was doing any of this, why he would hurt his soul to vindicate Spike. A voice in the back of his head told him that Angel wanted to hurt him, that it was a plot of some sort, that Angel had in fact asked Darla to break him. Still another voice said that Angel had asked Darla to torture him so that the dark vampire could come and play the sire. But the rest of him so badly wanted to believe that Angel was really taking care of him, had really not known what was going to happen to him. He wanted to be his sire's boy. "Would you run me a new bath?" he asked in a small voice.
As the bath emptied its red water and refilled with clear Angel ran his fingers through Spike's hair. All of the blond's wounds were healing nicely. His fingers were healed but still needed nails to grow back. His ear had regenerated and his eyelids were starting to reform. In a few days no one would be able to tell that anything had ever happened to the vamp. Angel feared what would happen when his Will didn't need him. He pushed the thought into the back of his mind. His boy would be ok and then they would go back to LA where Angel could keep a closer eye on his childe. He could make sure that no one hurt his childe. He could make his boy happy. "You're looking good, soon you'll be able to stay alone." He felt a shudder go through Spike's body and he said, "I'm not leaving you, that isn't what I meant. I told you already, I'm not going anywhere without you."
Spike couldn't think of a reply to the obvious lie and so said instead, "Kill her for me, sire? Please kill her for me."
"I'll do anything for you, childe." Angel sighed, the night had been a long one and he now had to go and kill his sire for a second time.
~Part: 13~
Angel was exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to drop into bed with his childe and sleep. The bitch had thought that by staying human she would avoid his wrath. He had informed her that no, it just meant a quicker death. And he felt drained. He had forgotten how long it took to suffocate a body, a good three minutes. As he neared his room he heard laughter.
"No!" Spike said, "You're joking me right? I wish I'd seen her face. So her shoes must be ruined huh?. . . She didn't ask. . . It's not my fault. . . No! She asked how to kill it she never asked about whether or not they puked purple stomach fluid while in death throws. So did Giles manage not to laugh?. . . oh I'm sure! Bloody hell, I can't believe I missed it." Spike looked up as Angel walked through the door. He took in how gray his sire looked and said, "I'll speak to you soon, pet. Bye." He hung up the hotel phone and turned back to the older vamp. "Go well?"
"I strangled her; she made weird noises. You got out of the bath."
"All by myself," nodded Spike, "And I could put on my own pants and everything." Angel laughed but drank up the sight of Spike in nothing but his boxers. The younger vampire felt stupid for his earlier protests about being nude in front of Angel. "You'll be able to leave soon."
"Spike," Angel paused, "I don't want to sound like your evil sire. But I'm not letting you stay here. You can't defend yourself from humans. I won't let you fend for yourself. I know you're a big boy and you don't need me. . . but I just can't let you stay here."
Spike was silent for a long pause and then said softly, "I needed you tonight. And I really could have used you three day's ago."
"Are you?-" Angel was stunned and unable to find the words. He had expected Spike to rage and rant about being a master vampire. Never had he thought his childe would resign himself so quickly. It was a testament to how scared Spike had been, he seemed lonely, he only had Xander in Sunnydale. Maybe he was ready to come back to the fold.
"Don't make me say it out loud." Spike looked at him sternly. There was no way he was either going to thank Angel or say that he would willingly leave Angel. He vaguely remembered thanking Angel in the recent past. Blood loss made you say stupid shit. Angel reached out to give him a hug and Spike shrank back, "I'm not willing to be your whore. And if that's why you want me then I can't go." Earlier he had begged Angel to stay had practically suggested that Angel should've raped him if it ensured that he would stay by the blond's side. But again, he had blood now, and he was able to button his own shirt. "I can't do it. I'm sorry." He apologized softly feeling ashamed that he, a childe, would refuse his sire.
"I didn't expect you to be. I don't want that. I never did. I want to love you." Angel was horrified at the way Will's mind worked.
"I can't be your lover either. Not right now. I'm not strong like that."
"Ok," said Angel softly. He walked towards Will like one would a wounded animal. "Anything that happens between us will be what you start. I won't do anything. Just promise me you'll come home."
Thinking for a moment Spike finally said, "Xander's gonna be mad. I don't want him to think I just leaving him."
Desperately biting back his jealousy Angel said, "You two really got close, huh?"
"He's the closest thing I've ever had to a friend. Hell maybe he is a friend, I don't know, I've never had one. I didn't even have one when I was human." Spike laughed.
"Does he know that you're just friends?" asked Angel. He had smelled the boy and he was a walking pheromone.
Spike said nothing for a second, not wanting to answer that question. So he went back to the thought about having a friend and what it meant. "I just know that when I talk to him," he rolled his eye as the thought went through his head even before he said it aloud it sounded stupid, "It's almost like love except I would never ever shag Harris." Spike could smell all the emotions pouring off his sire. Once upon a time the smell would have scared him. If Angelus smelled like that Spike would have ended up bleeding in some way or another. But now he just smiled comforted Angel's jealousy, "He's not what I want."
"What do you want?" Angel growled.
Spike studied him for a minute before saying, "I thought I made it pretty obvious when I cried over not being your perfect childe. All I ever wanted was to be perfect for you." The words were slow and bitter. "If we're leaving tonight I need to sleep." He climbed under the covers and Angel just watched him dumbfound. He slid out of his shirt and jeans and slid between the sheets.
He was surprised when Spike reached behind himself to pluck Angel's wrist up and put the old vampire's arm around his waist. "What are you doing?" asked Angel softly.
Sliding back in the bed so that his back was flush with Angel's chest he said, "you told me I could start what I wanted. This is what I wanted."
Angel was confused, "And what exactly is this that you've started?"
"I'm having my sire keep me close so I don't dream while I'm asleep."
~~~*~~~
"I don't like it." His voice was hushed as he spoke not wanting anyone in the shop to hear.
"Have you told Buffy?" asked Giles who looked as confused as Xander felt.
"No, if Spike said Dru sired him then let her think it. Why is Angel here?"
"You said Spike was wounded? How badly?"
He didn't want to betray Spike's confidence. . . especially as Spike hadn't actually confided in him. But he had needed to talk to someone about it and Giles was the only person he could imagine discussing it with. "Badly," was his simple answer. "Angel's stuck on taking Spike away."
"Maybe it's for the best," Giles sighed. He had watched the two grow close and it wasn't hard to see that Xander had fallen for the vampire. "He could take care of him. He knows what Spike needs more than we do."
"You think Spike'll go?" asked Xander and he sounded hopeful. His tone was begging Giles to lie but the man couldn't do it.
"I think he'll go with his sire."
The sound of a pin dropping ripped the air between them. Xander had wanted the man to lie to him. He didn't want to believe that Spike would leave him -them-. He didn't want to believe that Spike would leave them. And, just as he was about go home and listen to country music and wallow, Buffy burst through the door. "Oh good, Xander, have you seen Spike?"
"Why would I have?" Xander still got defensive when the group talked about his and Spike's friendship.
Buffy just smiled. "Because you're, like, his social organizer and you're his friend." She saw how Xander looked at Spike. She was sort of pleased. No, her feelings towards Spike hadn't changed. He was evil. But the bleached wonder was good for her friend. He made Xander happy and he made Xander feel good about himself. And he would never hurt Xander. She was pretty sure Spike liked the Xan-man *that* way. That made him ok in her books. Plus, she was looking forward to when they eventually got together. She would torture Xander with her understanding and kindness. Prove just how much of a jerk he had been while she was with Angel. She couldn't wait!
Xander blushed, so he was defensive was that really a problem? "Oh. Yeah. A friend of his came to visit and they got a hotel room." Buffy's face fell. She heard the note of sadness that Xander was trying to conceal. "He's gonna go live with his friend. I'm pretty sure he's done here."
With slayer speed Buffy came forward and gave him a crushing hug, "I'm so sorry."
"For what?" asked Xander sounding slightly confused. He honestly believed that the scoobies didn't know about his feelings so Buffy's hug seemed random.
Thinking fast Buffy had to justify herself, "For your loss. You're gonna be the only guy again." Giles cleared his throat and Buffy just rolled her eyes, "You don't count, you've gone through menopause. You aren't a guy anymore. You're just an old guy."
Laughter broke the thick air. The tension vanished. Giles would have been a lot more upset had it not been for Xander's peals of laughter.
~Part: 14~
She couldn't accept it. And she didn't have to. She was the slayer. Creatures of the night obeyed her. Even Spike obeyed when forced. She wasn't going to force him to do anything though. She would never force him to be with Xander. But what if he loved Xander as much as Xan loved him? What if Spike was leaving because he was miserable and didn't want to be close to the boy if he couldn't have him? Maybe this whole "going off with a "friend"" excuse was just that, an excuse.
Well she wasn't going to leave it be. She couldn't. Xander deserved to be happy and if there was anyway for that to happen then she had to pursue it. So there she was, walking through the graveyard. The sound of laughter floated over to her and she could tell it was coming from Spike's crypt. She knew that laugh. Her Angel was there!
As she got close she could hear them talking. The crypt had crappy sound insulation. They just didn't make mausoleums the way they used to. "Why do you have boxers with Doctor Who on them?" she heard him laugh again as through he were out of breath, which was impossible.
"Xander gave me them as a gift, you dolt." Spike had the decency to sound slightly embarrassed.
"Exterminate. Exterminate," Buffy couldn't understand why Angel was talking in a robot voice; of course she also had no idea who Doctor Who was. "You don't really expect me to pack these do you?"
"Look you're the one who said I was too injured to pack for meself. You have to pack everything."
Angel's voice was low and dangerous when he said, "Even gifts from other men?" Buffy nearly swallowed her tongue. Her blonde hair came from a bottle and she was smart enough to get what Angel was implying. So Angel was the "friend" Spike was leaving with? Buffy wasn't even hurt so much as deeply confused.
"He's my friend, sire." Spike's voice was tired, "So drop it, just pack the damn things."
Buffy knocked. The conversation stopped and she could hear someone coming up the stairs. Angel opened the door. And he looked totally shame faced when he saw Buffy. "I was expecting someone else."
"Who?"
"Blood delivery."
Buffy smiled. Angel sill looked ashamed when he spoke of blood. Meanwhile Buffy had gotten over that squiff years ago. "Sorry, I'm bloodless girl. Well, I have blood, but none for that purpose."
"There's a knife down here if you choose to donate!" called Spike.
Rolling her eyes she smiled faintly at Angel. There was a time when she would have threatened Spike with death for the comment. But when she threatened Spike Xander looked sad so she had stopped. "Excuse me," she said softy as she walked by him. As she climbed down the ladder she said, "So Xander tell us you're moving away with a "friend". Care to explain?" She turned and wiped her hands on her jeans. Would it kill Spike to dust? And as she looked up all thought of house keeping fled her mind. "Holy fuck."
He couldn't help but smile at her obscenity. Miss Sweetness and light cursing about a vampire being wounded. "You should have seen me before the poof arrived and poured ten gallons of blood down my throat."
She didn't laugh. "Oh. . . you're a pigheaded asshole ya know that?" he just looked at her with confusion. And that's when she laughed but it wasn't a happy one. "I'm not an idiot, Spike." He opened his mouth to make some doubtlessly witty comment about her hair but she just held up a hand to stop him. "You don't get wounded like this. So I'm guessing you got mugged by a human?" he said nothing. "And then you were too fucking proud to call us so you called him? Grow up, Spike. We're your friends, whether we like it or not. You should have called. Jerk."
And he smiled slightly because Buffy hated him but she tried so hard for Xander's sake. "I couldn't face it," he said honestly. "And I didn't call Angel he just sort of knew he was needed." She rolled her eyes. "Wait?" he said suddenly, "Xander knows I'm leaving? I haven't told him. Damn it, Angel!" Angel looked down not wanting to meet his childe's hurt look. "Git."
"Oh," said Buffy sarcastically, "So you were planning on telling us? That's sweet!"
Flinching Spike saw that Joyce had taught her daughter well in making people feel guilty. "I was gonna come to the Magic Shop and tell you all."
"A group goodbye. That's nice. No one could cause a scene or ask you not to leave!"
"I didn't realize you'd miss me so much," said Spike with a smirk but it was half hearted at best.
She looked at her ex-boyfriend. This didn't concern Angel. And she didn't care if Angel *was* sleeping with Spike. Her mind shied away from that though because she was majorly wigged. She was going to say her piece, "You know how much you mean to him. Why did you do this?"
Spike had the good grace to look ashamed. Unlike Angelus Spike was completely aware of how evil his deeds were. He knew how much pain he caused. And he didn't want to be the source of the boy's hurting. This was his punishment he was going to have to come clean to the slayer while his sire watched. "I knew he wanted me. And I wanted a friend. So I ignored it. I acted like I had no idea because I didn't think he'd want to hang out if it would lead nowhere. And now I can't say anything because it would be like pouring salt in the wound. So I kept pretending because I didn't want to lose him. And all along I knew. But I didn't want to face it."
Stunned Buffy actually understood his actions and she actually felt for him. She couldn't force Spike to love Xander. She couldn't force him to stay. But she could at least force him to say goodbye properly instead of all this cloak and dagger crap. With a heavy sigh she said, "Tomorrow, dusk, the Magic Shop. You're going to come and talk to him and explain why you're going and you're going to part with him on good terms. And you aren't going to act like this is no big deal. And you aren't going to do any half assed goodbye. You're going to talk." She turned to Angel, "And you're gonna come and we'll have a good long chat."
After watching her storm out Angel turned to Spike and said, "All things considered, that went well."
And Spike just laughed feeling tired. "Let's finish packing and go back to the hotel?"
"I thought I told you that you weren't allowed to help pack?"
"Fine, you pack. I'll just sit here feeling like a useless waste." He didn't try to move away when he found himself being hugged.
And Angel hated himself before he even opened his mouth. He hated that he did selfless acts when it came to this boy. But he didn't want to hurt Spike so he asked the question he didn't want to pose, "Do you want to stay?"
~Part: 15~
Spike shook his head slowly and pulled back from Angel. He studied his
sire with a scared look as he said, "No, please. Please don't leave me
here. I want to come with you." Panic
overwhelmed him and he started to breathe unneeded air. "You said I
could come with you. You said you weren't going to leave me. I don't want
you to leave again. Please." His voice was so soft, so beseeching it made
Angel hurt.
"Will, I'm not leaving you. I meant do you want us to stay? Do you want me to move out here? You won't have to leave your friends." He ran his hands comfortingly over the boy's shoulder.
"What about your friends?"
"They manage without me."
"You'll miss them," said Spike sounding as though he was searching for reasons to go to LA.
"I'll visit. If you want to be here this is where I am."
Looking around Spike shuddered. "Too many bad memories here."
"I could get us a nice apartment."
"Why are you trying so hard? I thought you wanted me to leave here."
"I do, God, you have no idea how badly I want to just take you away
from all the whole fucking world. LA isn't far enough for me." Angel let
go off Spike's shoulder to rub his creased
forehead, "I would have you on some island where no one could hurt
you or take up your time. I want you safe and all to myself. But I can't
have that. Darla came back and it made me think a lot about the past and
what I should have done. And then I came here and I saw your door open
and I smelt all the blood and I thought you were dead. I thought I was
going to find a blood puddle with some ashes floating on it. And I was
so fucking relieved you were still here. I wanna make up for the past.
I want to treat you like I always should have. So if you want to stay here
we'll do that."
"It wouldn't be fair to the whelp. To rub his nose in it while you're
acting all sire like. We should go. The sooner the better. They can visit
us right?" he sounded as though he expected
Angel to say no.
"Of course they can. I own a hotel, they can have their own rooms if they like."
Spike smiled, "You would *hate* that."
Angel was silent and finally said, "They're important to you."
"All those people milling around, laughing, cutting into your brooding time."
"I would hate it," agreed Angel. "But they're important to you." Spike smiled a victorious smile. "Shut up," Angel said affectionately.
"Only Xander's important to me. . . and the bit. . . and red. . . and
her girl. . . and sometimes Giles when he's in a particularly, "huzzah
for all things English" phase and he buys me
weetabix."
"So everyone but Buffy?" He smiled and then asked, "What happened to Xander's girlfriend?"
"She dumped him, went back to the vengeance demon gig." He smiled at Angel looking truly happy, "We gonna go home soon?"
"Well we have to finish packing up here. And then we should go back to the hotel and wait until nightfall when we go say our goodbyes."
Spike leaned forward and kissed Angel. It was their first real kiss
in a hundred years. Slow and explorative, lips moved together tentatively
like they'd never met before while tongues
touched like they'd never been parted. When he finally pulled back
Spike spoke against Angel's lips, "Missed you, Sire."
Pulling his youngest close Angel breathed in Spike's scent, "I've missed you, Childe, good sweet boy."
And with that they got to work. Angel stopped trying to make Spike not help. Together they got the U-haul truck that Angel had rented full. At the end Spike put his bike into the back.
"That's a nice motorcycle," said Angel, "where did you get it?"
As though speaking to a small stupid child Spike said, "I stole it." He smiled then, "The Desoto's still in LA since the Gem of Amarra debacle." He shut the back of the truck and looked at his sire with tired eyes, "Let's get back to the hotel?"
~Part: 16~
Spike could feel the eyes on his back. It made him feel weird. In almost a hundred years he hadn't felt the gaze. He felt like a fledge again. Every move he made was calculated to drive his sire mad. But he wasn't a fledge. He was a master vampire. He wasn't a stupid childe anymore. But he couldn't stop himself from acting like one. His whole body was aching not yet totally healed from the thrashing he had received. A voice in his head was whispering that he should just climb into bed with his sire and let Angelus take care of him in the good old fashioned way. But Angel wasn't Angelus and the older vamp wasn't going to fuck Spike while he was limping. And Spike wasn't even sure he wanted that.
He didn't want it to be like old times. He didn't want to be the vampire's whore anymore and he was afraid of falling back into that roll. And he was afraid that he would let his sire back into his world and then the vampire would leave. He told Angel that he didn't want to be the man's lover. And it was true. Maybe someday he would want to be his lover but not right then. He didn't want to be Angel's lover because he wanted to go back to being his favorite childe. It was warped. But he wanted to be taken care of, and coddled, and treated like a pampered like Angelus used to when Darla wasn't there. He wanted to be kept. Christ, he thought, I'm totally perverted.
As they entered the hotel room Spike turned quickly and saw that Angel's eyes had been trained firmly on his arse. He smiled and said softly, "I'm tired, Sire." He spoke in that slightly whiny voice that Drusilla and he always used to get anything they wanted from their Sire. Without a word Angel moved to him and started to undo the buttons on Spike's shirt. The blond's fingers still weren't working perfectly. He slid the material off Spike's shoulders and pulled the black tee shirt over the blond's head. He started in on Spike's button fly jeans when slighter hands came to rest on his. Looking up with a question in his eyes Angel stopped. "I'm kinda scared," admitted Spike softly. He looked away from Angel not wanting to have to meet the man's eye. It was odd how easily he had slipped back into the roll of being a childe. He wasn't putting on a false bravado and acting like a master vampire. He was seeking reassurance from someone he saw as being more powerful than himself. "I'm scared you're gonna leave."
Standing silently Angel considered the statement. He remembered earlier when Spike had pointed out that he had broken many promises in the past but never welshed on a deal. Pulling his Claddagh, "I've worn this ring for over two hundred years, I would never go anywhere without it. Wear it for me?" He almost laughed when he saw the relief in Spike's eyes but instead he just kissed the boy gently and went back to undressing him.
~~~*~~~
Angel held him upright in the shower. He was afraid that, as Spike wasn't functioning on all cylinders, he might have passed out. As he washed Spike's hair he also studied Spike's wounds and he said, "You're awfully skinny."
Shrugging and rolling his eyes Spike said, "I haven't been eating right."
"Cordelia said that the slayer was keeping you in blood?"
Spike liked the way Angel called her "slayer". It showed that Angel didn't even think about her as a lover anymore. Just a slayer, the killer of their kind. "She does. But I don't like pig's blood."
Angel nodded understandingly as he pulled the blond out from under the spray. He wrapped Spike in a big fluffy towel. A hotel can be judged by the quality of it's towels. The place they were staying in must have been costing Angel an arm and a leg. Angel purred as he carried Spike into the bedroom. The younger vampire was very capable of walking but he said nothing and relaxed into his sire's embrace. Angel placed him on the bed and picked his cell phone up off the bedside table. He hit some buttons and then said, "Cor? It's me. Look I'll be home by sunrise. Do me a favor? Go out and get 6 gallons of human blood for me? . . . Spike's coming home with me." He held the phone away from his ear but smiled slightly, "Stop squealing!" he shouted in the general direction of the mouth piece. He braved the noise and placed the phone back to his face and said, "Yeah, my family's getting reunited. Save of course for everyone who isn't Spike or me. Goodbye, Cordelia." He hung up and said, "I'm gonna fatten you up."
Spike smiled slightly and said, "Help me with me trousers, love? We have to go see the brat pack."
~Part: 17~
Xander felt like he might break. He had written himself a list of "Don't" before leaving his apartment.
Don't beg him to stay.
Don't profess undying love.
Don't ask him to take you with him.
Don't ask him to turn you and stay with you
for eternity.
Don't cling to him when it comes time to leave.
All in all he thought it was quite a good list. Now all he had to do was stick to it. But here he was in the Magic Box feeling, for all the world, like a spare prick at a wedding. Spike was his friend. But he'd never been a flowery goodbye type of man and he couldn't really see Spike as one either so the whole thing seemed a bit staged. He was just praying that Spike wasn't holding Angel's hand because he could not be held responsible for his actions if he did.
It wasn't that he was losing his could have been lover. He was losing Spike. Losing the only real guy friend he'd had since Jesse. Giles was a father figure and Oz was only Willows boyfriend, neither of them had counted. Spike had been his first male friend. And now he was leaving. Xander wanted to scream and rage and sit around in sweats for the next month straight. But he wasn't allowing himself that luxury. He was gonna be a grown up.
Buffy pulled Angel into the training room the minute that the two vampires arrived in the store. The scene confused Xander slightly but he said nothing as Spike sank down into the couch next to him. "Hey," said the blond.
"You look way better than when I last saw you."
Spike laughed breathily but Giles, having heard, said, "Dear lord, what did you look like before?"
"Worse," said Spike simply, pretty much ignoring the man. "I'm sorry that Angel told you I was going away, he hadn't even told me yet."
"Told you?" asked Xander feeling his temperature raising, "You have freewill, Spike!"
"Yeah," agreed the vampire softly.
"So tell him you don't wanna go!" the young man thought the answer was obvious.
"Xander, I'm sorry. I can't."
"Yes, you can."
Spike shook his head, "I want to go."
"Oh," Xander fell back in his seat having sat up to argue.
"After the attack, I was so scared. And I was too embarrassed to call you. I felt like such a tosser for being so easily hurt. And I didn't want you to see me as useless. If Angel hadn't of come I would've died."
"So what you're in debt to him? You're honor bound? When's that ever mattered?"
"No, I was frightened, and he's reminded me where I belong. This had nothing to do with you. 'M sorry." But it had everything to do with Xander and they both knew it. So they didn't speak for a moment and then Spike said, "I need yer help. You're gonna have to come out and stay with me."
"Yeah?"
"I want to subtly dye his body wash so that every time he showers he bathes he comes out of the shower just a shade blue. I think it would be interes'ing to see how long it takes him to figure it out."
"Well, it sounds like you're gonna need a second to help you."
"So you'd be interested?"
"Give me a call once you're settled in."
"And *that's* why we're mates."
~~~*~~~
Angel stared at Buffy after she pulled him into the makeshift gym. "What?" he asked confused beyond belief.
"They need a little while, Angel. . . How have you been?" the question caught him off guard and he wasn't sure how to answer. She stopped him by asking in a breathless rush, "You're sleeping with Spike? Why haven't you lost your soul? Have you lost your soul? Are you going to?"
"I've hurt him too badly to ever have a . . . soul losing moment."
"Oh."
"But I'm not sleeping with him."
"Oh. And you've never?"
"Oh, God, yes. We barely got out of bed for the first ten years of his life." He saw the shock on her face and winced, "Sorry, over share."
"Are you gonna?" she asked softly.
"I honestly don't know. He's my childe, and I love him dearly, but it's very complicated." He saw a shadow pass over her face and he said softly, "I turned him. Not Dru, he was trying to protect your opinion of me."
"Oh."
"I'm sorry you and your friends got caught in the middle of all this family business, it really shouldn't concern mortals, it's all to long winded and complex." He saw the hurt in her eyes and realized how his words could be seen as condescending but he had just meant them as fact.. . maybe that made the scene *more* condescending. "It's been going on for a hundred years," he added, "too much plot for a five minute discussion in a sparing room. I suppose all I can say in that I'm sorry. But thank you, for keeping him afloat until I could sort things out a bit. He's my childe and, I hope, you never understand how important he is to me, because the only way you could fully comprehend it would be for you to be turned and turn a childe of your own. I know that isn't the path you would ever want to lead. So let's just leave it at thank you." He gave her an awkward one armed hug.
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