Ratings/Content: NC-17. Slash and het graphecity, in the next part, anyway.
This part: rough talk. PG-13
Pairing: Angel/Spike, Xander/Anya
Disclaimer: Duh! Not mine.
Feedback: Please.
Spoilers: Angel season one/buffy 4
Distribution: Want, take, email the bunny with site address, have. Soulmates, list archs and my site, well, duh!
Author's Note: Yummy slash fluff. Watching repeats is a valued source of fluffy plots. Um, the timeline, after Angel Season 1, and Buffy Season 4, but kinda messed with to be convenient.
Dedication: the writers of DOOUL because, well, have you read that?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~PROLOGUE~
"Rupert?"
"Yes. Who is this?"
"Angel."
"Oh. Well.. what do you need killed."
~Everything evil. People who have PDA in front of celibacy-forced others. Cordelia. Did I just think that?~ "Angel?"
"Sorry. I was.. brooding."
A chuckle sounded from the other line.
"Why does everyone find that amusing?"
"Are you wearing all black and an abundance of hair products?"
"Yes." At this point, Giles could barely breath, he was laughing so hard.
"WHAT?"
"Nothing, it's just, oh, everytime I talk to Cordelia you're exactly the same."
"Oh."
"Sorry. What did you want?"
"Well..."
"Spit it out."
"Things have been quite down here and Cordelia was planning on taking a vacation."
"And you decided to call me because she's coming to Sunnydale and we needed warning?"
"No. She's not actually going on vacation; it seems no place is demon-free these days."
"Oh. So, what is she doing?"
"That's why I called. I was going to bring the vacation to her."
"How?"
"By having you come visit."
"What? Why?"
"I was talking to Willow.."
"I'm sure you were talking a lot."
"Are you drunk?"
"Slightly."
"Willow was talking to me and she mentioned how worn-out you all are and I thought maybe you could use a break too."
"So what are you suggesting?"
"Well.. we live in a large hotel... There's plenty of room."
"You want us to stay with you? For how long?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Oh." ~An open invitation to a vampire's house.. what does it mean? ~
"Will you come?"
"I'll talk with the group."
"Thank you."
"Goodbye."
"Goodbye."
PART ONE
Cordelia, Spike, Angel, Anya, Xander and Willow all piled into Angel's black convertible. Cordelia, Xander and Anya sat up front. The two vampires and Willow squeezed into the back. Well, they didn't really squeeze, because despite Angel's massive frame, he didn't take up much room, and the car was, for some reason, incredibly large, but if they had been different people, in a different car, it would have been a tight fit. They actually seemed rather surprised they didn't have to squeeze in, since most backseats require squashedness for at least one person.
"What is it that people say about guys with big cars?" Anya asked.
"The one about penisis?" Spike queried.
"Yeah. How does it go?"
"Well, pet, I believe it's something like, 'the bigger the car, the smaller the.." He didn't finish, looking instead at Angel's lap.
"No, no, it's not a saying. It's more like some theory or something."
"Never one for the theories, luv. Too much work up here." He tapped his head.
"Supposedly, guys with large cars are trying to compensate for a lack of um, other large things. So the car is a subconscious extension of, uh, the um,"
"Penis?" Anya piped helpfully.
"Yeah, as are other things, such as furniture, houses, and oh my god!" Willow blushed bright red.
"I've been telling you for weeks, Willow, why didn't you ever listen? He has a total complex where he has to compensate with everything. Did I tell you how, when we go through drive-thrus, he always orders an extra-large, even when it's just me and we both know neither one of us is going to eat it?"
"Yeah, you told me that."
"Then why are you blushing?"
Willow blushed even deeper. "It's just, uh, nope, not telling."
"Please, Red?" Spike turned puppy-dog eyes on her.
"Nope."
"I'll tell everyone what you were really like as a kid."
"They all know, Cordy."
"I'll talk about sex. Xander always does anything I want him to after I do."
"Anya, that won't work on me."
"Why not? I mean, you're a lesbian and all. Do you not find me attractive?"
"Um, no, Anya, it's just.. ask Xander later."
"I'll tell everyone were you're really ticklish!"
Willow turned terrified eyes to Xander. "You wouldn't."
"Of course I wouldn't. And of course you wouldn't withhold such trivial information as why Angel's car makes you blush, not when you're among such close friends, would you?"
Willow sighed. "Okay. I was blushing because of that theory."
"We already know that, Willow. We want more detail."
"Fine. According to that theory, we are all in Angel's, uh, penis." She blushed even redder.
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