Disclaimer: I don’t own any of it unfortunately because Joss is God and if I did own it Spike, Willow and Angel would spend many a days with chocolate, chains and a locked room.
Spoilers: General season 6
Rating: NC -17
Summary: Spike needs Angel’s help but at what price
Author’s Comments: WARNING!!! VERY ANGSTY.
Feedback: Please, Please, PLEASE!! I need it and crave it but please don’t kill me. It’s my first fic and I wrote this story on a challenge so it’s not my fault.
Dedication: For Jessica on her birthday, may you always have images of Spike with chocolate and chains and Angel in a bubble bath.
Song: Elton John, The Last Song
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike groaned as the nice drunken stupor he’d worked himself it to finally began to wear off. As his eyes slowly cleared and his brain began to function once again he realized that he was laying on the floor of his crypt in something wet. Sniffing the air he quickly identified the liquid as cheap whiskey and images of the previous night assaulted his mind in flashes…
Buffy berating him.
The moron joining in on the fun.
Him loosing control and trying to attack only to be stopped by the damned chip.
Him on his knees before the slayer cupping his head and groaning in agony while she insulted him one last time, her voice saturated in disgust.
The witching tentively helping him stand only to have him roughly shrug her off and hastily abandon the scene of his most recent humiliation.
Finally, hitting the liquor store and buying all of the cheap whisky he could carry and coming here and drinking until he passed out, silently raging at fate for bringing him to this new low.
Stifling another groan he shifted himself into a sitting position with the wall as a support. He squinted his eyes, looking at what the indirect light from the sun allowed him to see. The crypt was filthy, empty bottles and used fags were strewn across the place from last nights escapades. Bloody hell he hated this place, it wasn’t a place that any self-respecting master vampire would be caught dead, or in his case dust, in. Then again, he argued with himself, he wasn’t exactly a self- respecting master vampire anymore was he? No, he had to have a bloody chip in his head that prevented him from hunting, from being a real demon. He HAD to fall for the fucking slayer. He let himself be goaded by the damn moron last night. Dru had left because he was too “soft”. Fuck even his sire had left him, the fucking bastard, because he disgusted him. Satan below how he HATED them all for causing him such pain. He wanted to just rip them limb from limb and bath in …
Clutching his head he fell over screaming and withering in agony as the implant kick in as a reaction to his thoughts. When the pain abated enough to think in a slightly coherent fashion he realized that he had a perfectly clear view of the door and the light that was shining through the crack. It would be so easy and relatively quick. All he had to do was walk out that door and all of this would end. He wouldn’t have to put up with Slutty, Chubs, or the rejection of his family anymore. He would be free, it couldn’t possibly get worse than this, he had hit rock bottom. Spike still hadn’t learned that on the Hellmouth things could ALWAYS get worse, it was on of its neat little tricks.
The door to the crypt flew open and bounced on the off the wall from the force of the impact. Spike scrabbled like a dog that had been kicked out of the way of the direct sunlight suddenly streaming through his door. He saw a shadow cross his path and looked to see who had come barging into his crypt. He looked at the woman standing before him. She had raven hair that fell just to her waist and framed an oval shaped face with stormy gray-violet eyes. She was about the height of the slayer and clothed in black tank top that was ripped at the bottom exposing firm well tanned abs. Completing the ensemble were a pair of leather pants and thick high-heeled boots. In her arms was a loaded crossbow trained directly at his heart.
“Who in the bloody hell are you and what the fuck do you want,” Spike quipped at the eerily familiar woman, “can’t you see that I’m trying to consider suicide in peace?”
She silently walked to stand away but directly in front of him all the while keeping the crossbow trained on his heart. She gave him the once over taking in the mused hair, rumbled clothes and stench of cheap alcohol.
“Hello Spike, or should I call you William the Bloody or simply William?” When spike just continued to stare at her blankly she made the choice herself. “So William, how have you been? Heard you got a little surgery done and now you’re having trouble feeding I hope your adjusting to that well.”
“You probably don’t remember me, it being so long ago but I promise you,” she said staring at him intensely, “I most certainly remember enough for the both of us.”
“For the sake of my fucking sanity,” Spike yelled, “will you get to the bloody point? I am so not in the mood for this right now.” He scuffed rolling his eyes.
“Are you really in that much of a rush to meet death because I’m sorry,… well not really , but I’m not going to make it that quick or that easy, I’ve waited too damn long for this moment.
Obviously your going to need a memory jogger. My name is Celeste. Think Italy, think 1891, think a little town nestled in the Alps. You, Angelus, Dru, and Darla all decided you wanted to have some fun. Ringing a bell?”
Spike had placed her face as soon as she said her name but decided to keep this information to himself, “Sorry luv, their were a lot of little villages on the way to China, one tends to blend into the other.”
Spike realized he’d hit a cord as Celeste pulled the trigger on her weapon and the bolt shot through his right shoulder, the tip embedding in the wall. Hissing in pain his eyes turned feral as his game face slipped on and he lunged at her only to find that he couldn’t move. “What the…”
“You couldn’t have believed that I would just walk in here without a couple of tricks up my sleeve did you? As I said before,” Celeste smirked, “I’ve been planning this for too long.”
Lowering her bow she closed the gap between them and crouched in front of him looking his demon directly in the eyes. She reached out and tenderly ran her hand across the ridges on his face before rearing back and punching him across the jaw, splitting the lip on one of his fangs. Yanking his head up savagely by the hair she once again looked him in the eyes, “I have waited over a century for this moment, you may not remember me but I have never forgotten you and I have made preparations. Don’t bother trying to break the bonds they wont give unless I release them and trust me, that wont be for a while. You and your family destroyed everything I ever loved and when I’m through with you and Angelus I’m going to go pay Dru a little visit as well.”
As Celeste talked Spike’s mind reached a couple of conclusions. First off, no matter how much he wanted to die he was not going to be killed by some stereotypical bitch seeking revenge.
Secondly, Celeste couldn’t be mortal, not if she was still alive after all this time, which she could be hurt without repercussion from the chip. Thirdly, if he could get her angry enough he could cause her to lose control of the bonds and then he’d be free to play.
Forcing his human face into place he licked the blood off of his lip and focused on the woman crouching in front of him.
“Ohhhh yes, I remember you know pet,” he drawled, “I believe we snacked on you, your brothers and sisters, and your parents right?” he asked quirking his eyebrow. “Yeah we snacked on you guys, and if I recall we had a nice little shag as well but tell me something I’m just dying to now pet? Did you enjoy it as much as I remember because from the way you were groaning I had to be doing something right.”
Celeste’s eyes flashed in anger but Spike’s hope that he had pushed her far enough was quickly dashed as she through her head back and laughed. Looking at Spike once again she said with genuine amusement, “Trying to make me loss my temper so the bonds will fall? Nice try but I told you,” her eyes turning hard, “I’ve been preparing for this for a long time.” Reaching into her boot she unsheathed a dagger with serrated edges.
“Now for the fun part. We’re going to see how long it takes for me to make you scream,” she said slowly pressing the tip to the side of Spike’s face and dragging it down.
Celeste went flying across the room and slammed into the wall. “I don’t know who you are lady, but stay the hell away from him.” Willow demanded in an angry voice.
Willow was worried. Buffy and Xander were being complete jerks to Spike. So yeah, he had tried to kill them several times and yes he had kidnapped them and tortured Angel in L.A. and yes he was annoying and mean and selfish and arrogant… okay getting off topic here. But that didn’t mean that they could treat him like that. It’s not like he asked the Initiative to put the chip in his head and make him miserable so he had some excuse to be crabby all the time. In truth she just felt sorry for him, what the initiative had done to him was just wrong, no one had the right ot deny another person what was in their nature and willow didn’t doubt that Spike should be considered a man. So after a restless night spent worrying about him she’d decided to go check on him in the morning to make sure he was alright even if he would just be pissy as usual at least she’d know that he was okay and she could express at least some of the pain she felt for him. So walking into the crypt to find some bitch cutting up his face did not help her mood and made her react accordingly by flinging her across the room.
Celeste staggered to her feet glaring at the red head, “Willow right, look I’m only going to say this once.” She gestured towards Spike, “I only want him, you can leave and I promise not to bother you or your friends afterwards.”
“Well then we’ve got a problem because he IS one of my friends so BACK OFF.” Willow’s face was flushed and streakes of lightning danced up and down her arms. Her hair rose slightly from the static electricity as did the lint on her sweater and jeans. Celeste eyed her warily trying to decide if she should test her magic against her. She could sense that the girl had untapped reserves but she was SO CLOSE after all this time. She would not give up her prize. Grounding herself she flung a bolt of psychic energy at the girl and watched as she grunted but didn’t go down. She felt a slight twinge of respect towards the girl for not passing out from that but if she refused to go down then she would kill. She would not be denied her prize. She realized that the girl was reading an attack of her own and braced herself for the impact. When it hit she was surprised by its intensity as she was pushed back into the wall from the force. She was going to react when suddenly she was staring into twin golden eyes. ‘SHIT!!!!’ She’d been so busy with the girl she’d forgotten to hold the binds on Spike. Reacting quickly she shoved the vampire away using magic so that he collided with the girl. She then cast a teleportation spell to return to her hotel. She wouldn’t get to see him suffer up close and personal and she wouldn’t be able to inflict any pain personally but she would be there for the end. She would see the end result of the plan she’d already set in motion.
Willowcouldn’t breath, there was something really heavy laying on her and cold as well. ‘Spike, Spike was laying on her. Spike had been flung on her and she needed to get him off of her because she couldn’t breath and he was heavy and she needed him off.
“Spike get off me,” she choked out. When he didn’t budge Willow decided to take drastic measures. She concentrated and used her magic to float him off of her but since she didn’t normally float things this large on her own she wound up having to drop him.
“Cor, luv, what the hell are you trying to do give me a concussion?” Spike groaned as he sat up rubbing the back of his head.
When Willow could breathe again she started to apologize, “I’m sorry Spike but you were on me and I couldn’t breathe and Oh Goddess your face!” She stared at his face which was covered with cuts and bruises. “Come on we need to get you cleaned up and give you some blood so you can heal,” Willow said standing up. She held her hand out and helped him up.
“Problem, luv, I go anywhere and you’ll be fixing up a pile of ashes.” “Oh I forgot about that,” Willow said with a furrowed brow, “ah well then we’ll just… Spike, oh Goddess, Spike what’s wrong?” Spike had slumped over and groaned when things started getting blurry and tilted.
“Don’t know luv, suddenly can’t see to well. Help me to the bed.” Willow supported half of Spike’s weight getting him to the bed and helped him lay out on it. “Where do you keep your blood, maybe it will help you have lost a lot of blood.”
“In the cooler by the chair.” Willowgot him the blood and watched as he drained it. After waiting about 20 minutes and realizing that it wasn’t helping panic began to set in. “Spike I’m going to get Giles, maybe he knows what’s wrong with you. I’ll be back in about 30 minutes so… just don’t move.” Willow slipped out of the crypt into the bright sunlight and started running full speed to Giles apartment, reaching it in record time she burst through the door gasping for breath.
“My God Willow, what’s happened are you alright?” Giles strode towards her from the kitchen were he had been making a cup of tea.
“Giles something’s wrong with Spike you have to come now,” she said between gasps. She grabbed his hand and started dragging him towards the door. Giles stopped only to grab his keys to his car and they sped towards Spike’s crypt. On the way there Giles found himself hoping that nothing too serious had happened to the vampire. Despite their past he had some respect for the vampires ability to adapt hard situations and he had been very helpful recently with patrols. He managed to maneuver the car to the door of the crypt. The sight that greeted his eyes when he walked in was stunning. The place looked like a serious battle had taken place and Spike looked the worse for wear. His clothes were torn and covered in blood with a gaping wound in his shoulder. Giles and Willow wrapped him in a blanket and helped into the car. On the way back to Giles’ home Willow explained what she had witnessed when she arrived and what ensued afterwards. They helped Spike into the apartment and laid him on the coach. By this time Spike was pretty incoherent and his body was slightly heated.
Willow looked at Giles with worried eyes, “What’s wrong with him?” Giles looked at him and considered the possibilities “Willow do you have the arrow he was shot with?”
“No but hang on a minute.” Willow closed her eyes and pictured the crypt. In a moment the arrow materialized on the floor between them. For a moment Giles was stunned by Willow’s display of power but came out of his stupor in time to catch Willowwhen she collapsed.
“Your overtaxing yourself,” Giles carried her upstairs
to his bed, “get some sleep and I’ll try to figure out what’s wrong.” Giles
went back downstairs and picked up the bolt. Glancing at Spike and then
sniffing the bolt he detected a delicate scent underlying the prevalent
scent of blood. ‘Dear God please no’ was all that could run through his
mind as he chanted a quick spell to test out his fears. The tip of the
bolt began to glow a sickly yellow. Giles slumped into a chair and sighed
his fears had been confirmed.
~~~*~~~
Angel woke up with a bad feeling. He sleep had been
troubled with vague feelings of pain, anger and anguish. He woke up wondering
what was wrong when he realized where it was coming from. The feelings
were leaking through his bond with William. William his blue eyed boy,
and if he were being truthful to himself, his favorite Childe. No not HIS
Childe, Angelus’ Childe. And not William but Spike. The same Spike who
wanted nothing to do with the souled version. Wanted nothing to do with
Angel because he wasn’t Angelus and he had abandoned him, chosen the slayer
over him, his childe, and when the new and decidedly unimproved Angelus
had returned he’d spent his time taunting him and take the woman he loved
from him. Angel shamed Spike because he wasn’t a proper vampire. The Spike
who he couldn’t go help through whatever pain he was experiencing because
all he would receive from Spike would be scorn and hatred and seething
words. Shaking off the mood before he could get into a full Brood Angel
got up and started dressing for the new day at work. Cordelia would be
in soon and the last thing he needed was her badgering him about his bad
mood. When he heard Cordelia moving around upstairs he decided it was time
to join her. He went upstairs and started his daily routine of reading
whatever mail for him as Wesley, Gunn and Fred trailed in through the door.
He was in the process of pouring his first cup of coffee when he heard
Cordelia gasp behind him. Using his preternatural speed he caught her before
she hit the floor at the cost of his mug. The others had already begun
to prepare for the vision. Gunn was heading towards the weapons chest.
Wesley was heading towards the books for research and Fred had gotten the
aspirin and a glass of water for the migraine.
Groaning and holding her head Cordelia began to recount her vision,
“Big and ugly, claws instead of fingers, blue scales and glowing green
eyes. He’s gonna be in a warehouse tonight and he’s trying to kill two
kids who have important roles in the future. Angel this guy is going to
be tough.”
“Sounds like a Benthar demon,” Wesley said, “they are known for their
exceptional fighting skills and he will be rather difficult to kill.”
Angel gently laid Cordelia on the couch and then headed towards the
weapons chest to consult Gunn on what would work best against the demon.
The phone rang and Fred answered it, she called Angel over and told him
it was Giles from Sunnydale. Angel felt a sinking sensation in his stomach
and had a brief moment of clarity that stopped him from reaching for the
phone. He realized that if he took this call everything is going to change.
He’d be putting his redemption and his friends’ lives in jeopardy. He took
the phone from Fred knowing that all he’d have to do was hang it up and
everything would be okay and he started to do just that when he had the
thought that maybe this had to do with Spike and why he was in trouble.
“Hello Giles”
~~~*~~~
Yesterday you came to lift me up
As light as straw and brittle as a bird
Today I weigh less than a shadow on the wall
Just one more whisper of a voice unheard
Giles hung up the phone and sighed. The second hardest
part was over, now he had to face the hardest task and explain to Willow
and Spike exactly what was happening. Checking on Spike he saw that the
blond had finally cooled off and he looked as if he were in a fitful sleep.
“Giles what’s going on?” Willow asked. She had
woken up a few moments before and had wondered into the living room to
see Giles staring intently at Spike. Giles looked at her briefly.
Taking off his glass he squeezed his nose saying, “Willow
sit down while I wake up Spike. He needs to hear this as well and I don’t
want to have to say this more than once.” He turned back to Spike and shook
his shoulder gently. Spike looked at him and for a moment it looked as
if he couldn’t’ focus.
Then his eyes cleared and he focused on Giles, “Watcher, what the bloody
hell am I doing here?”
“Well Spike Willow came and got me after you passed
out and we brought you here. You’ve been out for several hours and I was
able to figure out what was wrong with you.”
“That simple you ponce, not enough blood, give me
a bag and I’ll be fine in a few minutes.” Spike looked at Giles warily
as he saw a glint in his eyes.
“It’s not that simple Spike. The woman who shot you
with the crossbow tipped the bolt with a certain poison that only affects
vampires. It’s going to cause you to waste away in a rather painful manner
I’m afraid.”
Spike just stared at Giles as if he had lost his
mind, he took it back things could and had gotten worse. Willowwho
had listened to the entire exchange in silence now spoke up, “Is there
a cure, something we could do to stop it?”
“I’m not sure Willow,
all the accounts I have of this poison being used are on vampires that
were outcast in their communities and it was used as a form of death sentence.
There ‘s no recorded cure.” Seeing Willow’s
face drop he quickly added, “but I called Angel since I didn’t have an
answer I thought he might have one and he said he’d be here as soon as
he could leave which I presume means a few hours after sunset.”
“He won’t come. I don’t even know why you bothered
to call the wanker. He’ll probably just come to watch me die; help ease
his conscious knowing that someone else had taken care of his great mistake,”
Spike said bitterly.
“Ah… yes, well I’m going to start researching again
to see if I can find a cure for this poison. When Buffy arrives I’ll send
her to see if she can find the woman who shot you. Most likely she’ll know
how to cure fix this. Willow will you research on that confounded contraption
and see what you can find. Spike I suggest that you rest your going to
need to conserve your strength.” “Nah watcher, my unlife’s on the line
and I sure as hell am not going to leave it in the hands of you, the Witch,
the Poof, Slutty and Chubs.” With that said Spike sat at the table, grabbed
one of the books there and started reading at a preternatural speed. Several
hours went by before Buffy, Xander and Anya strode into the room.
“Hey G- man, Will what’s up?”
“Hi Willow,
Giles.”
“Hello Willow,
Giles, Spike.”
It wasn’t lost on anyone that Buffy and Xander both
had completely ignored Spike’s presence. Xander had notice the look on Willow’s
face, “what’s wrong Willowyou
look like someone died or something and by the way how did you get Deadboy
Jr. to research and more importantly what are we researching?” Willowlooked
at Giles with pleading eyes for him to explain.
“We have a problem; Spike was attacked earlier today
by a woman named Celeste. Willowmanaged
to save him,” at this statement Spike softly growled, “but not before she
managed to poison Spike. We’re currently looking for a cure. Anya I need
you to think about whether you’ve ever heard of such poison and if you
have how do you cure it? Xander I need you to help research and Buffy and
need you to see if you can find this woman and “talk” her into giving us
an antidote.”
Anya immediately began racking her brain for any
reference she might have about the poison. She and Spike weren’t friends
but he understood what it was like to suddenly find your self no longer
the same after years of existing one way and she did not want to see him
dead. Xander and Buffy seemed to have a blank look on their faces.
“Giles why should we help him, Deadboy Jr. has been
nothing but trouble for us. Don’t you people remember Adam? I say good
riddance.”
“I have to agree with Xander on this one Giles,”
the Slayer piped in, “he’s not our responsibility it’s not like he’s a
friend or anything.”
Anya slapped Xander in the back of his head and immediately
started yelling at him, “Xander how can you be such a jerk? I love you
but my God, you can be so callous sometimes. Spike may have made mistakes
and tried to kill us but even I tried to kill us at one point. He needs
help and we should be willing to help him.”
Spike had been about to lay into Slutty when he saw Willowstand
up and walk deliberately towards the Slayer. He decided to sit back and
watch the show and found that he wasn’t disappointed. Willow stood in front
of the Slayer and then slapped her as hard as should could, leaving an
imprint on her face.
“How can you be such a selfish bitch,” she said through
clinched teeth, “he has helped us these last few months and more importantly
he’s done a good job of it. If it wasn’t for him you would have been killed
Goddess only knows how many times. He came to us for help when that damn
chip was put in his head which was just wrong in the first place and whenever
someone’s tried to kill us he’s been there however begrudgingly. Now the
ONE time he needs our help with some psychotic bitch who’s trying to kill
him you wanna get all pissy because you’re too PROUD to admit that we actually
owe him for saving our collective asses so instead you’ll let him die a
painful and slow death. Giles I am going to see if I can hunt down Celeste.
She uses magic so maybe I can sense her somewhere and don’t worry,” Willowsaid
while heading for the door, “I’m sure I’ll be strong enough to handle her.”
Willowslammed the door as she
left and for a few moments there was complete silence in the apartment
as everyone digested Willow’s
comments.
Anya shrugged and simply said, “She’s right you know.”
Spike just started laughing while Giles took off his glasses and began
to clean them. Xander looked stupefied and Buffy looked pissed after her
initial shock.
Glaring at Spike she said, “I’ll help you but only
because I don’t like Willowbeing
pissed off with me, but this doesn’t mean a damn thing. I’ll still stake
you if you piss me off. I’m going to go track Willow.”
She started to head out the door when Xander caught
her arm. “You should stay here with the rest of us. You don’t want to be
around Will right now, I’ve only seen her that pissed off a few times before
and they we’re never good. Give her a while to calm down. When she gets
back she’ll be okay and in all honesty I’m more worried about the witch
she’s after. I don’t wanna be her right now.”
Buffy reluctantly agreed and they both grabbed books
and sat on the couch.
Spike got up to get some blood when a dizzy spell
hit him, the last thing he saw was demon girl looking at him in concern.
~Meanwhile in L.A~
“What do you mean you have to go to Sunnydale tonight,”
Cordelia shrieked, “you do remember the little vision, you know the one
where the big, ugly and incredibly hard to kill demon will be trying to
kids that are important to the future?”
Angel winced but resisted the urge to back up, “Yes
but Spike needs me there right now.”
For a moment they were all stunned into silence.
Cordelia’s voice level gradually increased as she said, “Do you mean to
tell me that you are willing to let a demon kill not one but TWO kids that
the powers need to live in order to go run at the beck and call of the
blond wonder who last time we saw was having you tortured by an insane
vampire with a fetish for children.”
“Yes Angel, are you willing to risk your redemption
for Spike?”
“Yeah man, I mean you’re seriously asking for trouble
here.”
“Yeah Angel, the powers already told you what you
need to be doing.”
Angel had stopped listening to the others after Wesley’s
comment about his redemption. Was he really willing to risk his soul, and
he had no doubt’s that he would be doing so if he went to help Spike. Was
he willing to piss off the powers that be and risk the lives of 2 innocents
all for his wayward Childe? No he wasn’t willing to risk all of that for
Spike but for William, for William he’d make a return trip to hell if that’s
what it took to help him. As this thought ran through his head he was shocked
by just how much he meant it but then again why was he? Angelus had never
stopped loving William, part of the reason he’d been such a bastard to
Spike was because he hated that his William had become the hard man that
Spike was. And as long as he was admitting earth shattering truths to himself
today he could also admit that he loved William as much as Angelus and
that both of them could accept Spike because he had some remnants of William
within him. So yes in a round about way he was willing to risk his soul
for Spike as well as William and he would do that tonight without any further
hesitation.
“Wesley and Gunn can take on the demon and I sure
Gunn’s crew can be asked for help. I have to go help Spike. I’ve turned
my back on him twice now and I won’t do it a third time.” Angel then turned
around, walked down the stairs to his apartment and locked the door behind
him. He had a trip to pack for.
Tomorrow leave the windows open
As fear grows please hold me in your arms
Won’t you help me if you can to shake this anger
I need your gentle hands to keep me calm
Spike was in hell. It was hot and he couldn’t get
comfortable. It felt like fire was running through his veins and the nightmares
weren’t helping. He kept dreaming about Angelus, but not the true Angelus
before the curse but the one who had come back an insane bastard bent on
making his life a living hell. He dreamt about him taunting him, about
the times he beat Dru and left him to clean her up only to have her run
back to his bed. Worse yet the memories he tried hardest to repress wouldn’t
stay away this time. He and Angelus had been lovers before the curse it
was part of a normal Sire/Childe relationship. The new Angelus, the fucking
bastard that wanted that wanted to destroy the world had twisted that love
he felt towards his Sire and turned it into something to use against him.
He remembered the nights Angelus would come in after a hunt, throw him
on the nearest flat object and fuck him dry. It hadn’t been about love
and he hadn’t taken Spike’s pleasure into consideration during these moments.
This had been about dominance and using him ‘til he tired of him. He still
remembered the feel of him clawing bloody furrows into his back and the
loneliness afterwards as Angelus sought out Dru leaving him to pick himself
up and put himself back together. He hadn’t had anyone to run to after
Angelus used him he’d had to take care of himself. Then again that wasn’t
so hard since he’d been doing that since that bloody wanker Angel had left
him and Dru. But Fuck why couldn’t he get the dreams to stop, why couldn’t
he wake up? Suddenly he started to feel cooler and he was gradually drawn
into a dreamless sleep.
Angel arrived in Sunnydale an hour and a half after
sunset having broken several speed limits along the way; hell if he was
honest he’d broken all of the speed limits along the way. Now he was right
outside of Giles’ door and he couldn’t get up the courage to knock. As
soon as he’d seen the door doubts had assailed him. He’d realized that
Giles had called him not Spike which meant that he either didn’t know that
he was coming or he didn’t want him there. And why should he want him to
come? It’s not liked he’d ever given Spike any sign that he loved him or
that he was dependable. All he’d ever done was chose other’s over him and
push him away. Not to mention the things he’d done to him when he’d been
unsouled. Angel would rather face the people in the room that he knew where
there than travel down that path in his mind so he knocked on the door
and waited for someone to answer. When the door was opened he was face
to face with a weary watcher and tension radiated from the room. “Once
again, hello Giles.”
“Hello Angel, please come in.” Giles stepped back
allowing him to enter. He glanced around the room. Anya was flipping through
a book as were Buffy and Xander. He briefly wondered where Willowwas
but was distracted when Buffy turned around to look at him when he entered,
“What are you doing here? Is something wrong in L.A.?”
Angel was a little taken aback as he said, “I’m here
because Giles told me Spike had been poisoned. I wanted to make sure he
was okay. Why else would I be here?”
Buffy’s faced turned hard and she glared at him,
“So you’re here to help the fangless wonder as well. What is it with everyone
lately? When will all of you see that he’d be better off dead? He wouldn’t
be a pain in our asses anymore. Instead everyone one wants to risk there
lives for him. Which is …”
Buffy wasn’t able to finish her sentence because
Angel had moved across the room and grabbing her throat, pinned her to
the table.
“Buffy, get one thing straight, I loved you and a
part of me will always love you because it was sweet but I’m telling you
this right now: DO NOT EVER QUESTION MY LOYALTY TO MY CHILDE AGAIN. I once
choose to help you instead of him and I will never do that again. He’s
my son and I never should have turned on him in the first place. He is
the most important thing to me in the world and I owe him more than you
can even BEGIN to contemplate.” With that said he let go of Buffy’s throat
and backed up. Buffy sat up and looked at Angel with angry tearful eyes
and massaged her throat where it was starting to bruise. She stood up and
walked out of the door slamming it behind her. Angel didn’t spare her a
second glance.
“Ah yes um… Spike’s upstairs if you want to see him,
and Willow is out searching for the woman who did this to him,” at Angel’s
increasingly alarmed stare Giles quickly added, “but don’t worry because
believe me Willow is very capable of taking on this woman. She is currently
pissed about Buffy’s treatment of Spike as well.”
“Fine I’m going to check on my child. Let me know
when she gets back.” Angel headed up the stairs and looked at the bed Spike
was laying on. He was tossing and the sheets were twisted around him. Open
up the bond Angel felt the anger and fear coming from Spike and for a moment
he hesitated to move closer. Shrugging off his fear he gently untangled
the sheets from around Spike and stripping crawled in and spooned him.
Spike began to relax and through the bond he felt him calm down. As Angel
held Spike his mind drifted to the many memories of Angelus holding William
the same way when he had nightmares or after making love. He phrased it
‘love making’ because that is what it had been back then. He’d cherished
William and wanted to protect him even from himself and he’d been willing
to rip out the heart of anyone who even thought about hurting his childe
and feeding it to them. Angel tried in vain to ignore his arousal at having
his childe so close to him once again. He pulled Spike closer to him and
then drifted off into a light sleep.
Things we never said come together
The hidden truth no longer haunting me
Tonight we touched on the things that were never
spoken
That kind of understanding sets me free
Spike gradually drifted back to consciousness. Someone
was cradling him and he realized that whoever it was was also aroused.
He pushed back against the person and was struck by the realization that
it was Angel who was holding him. For a moment of the memories of him and
Angelus in this very same position flooded his mind as did all the ways
he used to greet Angelus in the morning when they woke up like this. But
then he remembered exactly who it was holding him. It was Angel not Angelus
and Angel hated him. Angle was ashamed of his great mistake and Angle loved
the fucking Slayer and not him. Angel had turned his back on him and chosen
Slutty. He was probably dreaming about the whinny bitch right now. Well
fuck that he would NOT serve as some substitute for his wet dream. “Get
off of me you bleeding ponce.” Spike began to struggle against him and
gradually pulled out of his arms. He stood on his side of the bed glaring
at Angle who had gotten up on the other side.
“Why are you here? Did you want to see your precious
Buffy call you and you decide to use me as a substitute so you can keep
your all precious soul? Are you that hard up? Or are you getting off on
the fun Angelus’ had when he was back and your looking for a repeat?”
Angel was at a loss for words. One minute he’d been
curled up around Spike feeling better than he’d felt in years and remembering
the feel of him and the next Spike was insinuating horrible things and
bringing up painful memories. To add to the confusion he could still feel
the emotions coming through the bond and felt flashes of hurt, confusion,
and rage mixed with just a hint of longing. He was having trouble sorting
them out so he didn’t respond. Fortunately he wasn’t so deep into his internal
reverie that he didn’t notice when Spike started to collapse. He managed
to catch him before he hit he floor and he realized that once again he
had Spike in his arms and he took a minute to savoir the moment. He inhaled
the scent that was Spike, a mix of leather, smoke and underneath it all
his own natural scent. Lifting him he laid him out on the bed.
“You need to conserve your strength the poison is
already taking a lot of it and exerting yourself only helps it move faster.”
For a moment hesitated to make his next comment but he realized that he
may never get the opportunity again, “and no, I wasn’t thinking about Buffy
or what Angelus did. In truth I was thinking about you and how badly I’ve
treated you. I was thinking about how much of an ass I’ve been and I want
to help you now to try and make up for some of the things I’ve done.”
“Oh so that’s it I’m one of your fucking charity
cases now. No thanks I made it this long without your help and I don’t
need it now.”
Spike started to get up and found that he couldn’t
support his weight and fell to the floor. Angel went to help him stand
and Spike caught a glimpse of pity in his eyes. That look was the straw
that broke the camel’s back.”
“GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FUCKING WANKER,” Spike yelled
and he began to struggle to stand. Tears began to stream down his face,
“I don’t need nor do I want your help. What is it with you? When I wanted
you to help me you chose the fucking slayer and now that I want you gone
you just won’t leave. Just leave and let me have some fucking peace before
I die. I just want to die in peace damn it.” By this time Spike had worn
himself out and Angel knelt down in front of him.
“I may never get to tell any of this again and I
refuse to let you go thinking that I hate you and I need to know if you
really hate me. You are not some project for my soul Spike. I’m here because
I love you, just as much as Angelus did before he went insane. And I don’t
want to think that I never got to tell you because I was too much of a
coward or an ass. Please believe me.” To back up his words Angel let his
emotions flow through the bond into Spike.
Spike felt Angel’s emotions flow into him. The first
thing he noticed was the regret. He felt it in waves, but this regret wasn’t
about making him, this was regret for abandoning him, for not loving him
the way he should have and for choosing the slayer over him and most importantly
wasting so much time by not setting this straight earlier. The next thing
he felt behind the great was a nearly overwhelming sense of loyalty and
love. Angel loved him completely and wholly without reservation. It had
taken his impending death for him to acknowledge this but he finally had.
Spike looked Angel in the eyes.
“I don’t hate you Angel, I’m just really pissed about
the way you’ve treated me.”
The lack of passed tense was not lost on Angel. There
would be no easy way to fix all of the wrongs that had occurred between
them but at least they had admitted that they still felt something for
one another. That was the first step towards fixing things between them.
Angel leaned forward and kissed Spike. He brushed his lips against Spike’s
and then gently traced them with his tongue. Prodding gently he sought
entrance into his mouth which Spike hesitantly granted. He reacquainted
himself with the contours of his mouth, brushing long untouched sensitive
spots. Spike eventually began to respond and soon they were both deeply
engrossed in the kiss and both were aroused. Angel gently broke the kiss.
“As much and I would like to continue this you are
in no position to do so. You’re weak as it is and having sex will not help.”
Wrapping him in his arms, Angle moved Spike to the bed and once again spooned
in behind him.
“Get some sleep it will help. Also, I know that this
doesn’t make everything right between us but thank you for the chance.”
Spike hesitated for a moment before saying, “Your
welcome poof.” Angel just smiled and began to drift off into sleep thanking
the powers for their blessing. Downstairs the door opened as Willow
returned from her hunting trip.
~~~*~~~
Willow walked into the apartment and was greeted
with several hopeful faces. She started to walk to the couch but stumbled
before she reached it. Allowing Giles to settle her in one of the chairs
around the table she briefly noted that Buffy wasn’t there. Filing that
away for later she looked at Giles, “Is Angel here yet?”
“Yes he’s upstairs watching over Spike I’ll go get
him.”
“No need, I heard you come in and I came to see if
you found out anything.”
Willow looked at the others through blood shot eyes.
It was then that they noticed how tired she looked and the ragged appearance
of her clothes. “I found her and after some… persuasion she told me what
I needed to know.” Briefly the others wandered what type of ‘persuasion’ Willowhad
used on the other woman but they all decided that they didn’t really want
to know. Willowwas the kindest,
most gentle person they all knew but they also knew she could be ruthless
if it came down to a friend’s life and it was obvious she considered Spike
a friend.
“Apparently there is a cure and it’s rather simple.
It’s just an exchange of blood between the sire and childe.” Angel breathed
a sigh of relief; his childe was going to live. Kneeling in front of Willowhe
took her hand and kissed it. He looked up at her and said, “thank you for
saving my childe and being a good friend. I don’t know what I would have
done if I had lost him.”
Willowblushed and gave him a small
smile, “No thanks needed. He would have done the same for me whether he
admits it or not.”
Angel stood up, “I’m going to go fix him, and I’ll
be back down in the morning.”
~~~*~~~
Angel stood in the door way watching Spike sleep
for a moment. “Beautiful” he whispered softly.
“Then why don’t you stop staring and join me you
poof,” Spike said with a lazy smirk and half open eyes. Saying those few
words took a monumental effort on his part considering how tired he was.
Angel once again stripped and then slide in the bed beside him. He cradled
him in his arms saying, “Willow’s
back. She found out the cure from that woman. We just have to exchange
blood and then you’ll be as good as new.”
“That’s it; I would think it’d have been more complicated.”
“Yep, so what do you say we do this already? I can’t
wait to get your cute ass to