Title: Gabriel

Author: ebonyflames

Feedback: ebonyflames666@yahoo.co.uk

Rating: NC17

Pairing: AU Angel/Spike, A/Others

Warning: Mentions Rape and Child abuse later on and there is definate Angst ahead - this is not a happy fic.

Summary: Continuation to my take on FGF Challenge #197.txt ---> William saw Angelus with the Master when he was a Fledging, and now they're going to talk about it... now Spike and Angel are together but old faces conspire to break them apart

Disclaimer: I cannot claim ownership (or responsibility) for any of the recognisable ATS and BTVS characters - they belong to the god thatis Joss and Mutant Enemy. I just make them dance for pleasure... Oh and if some of the speech is familiar its just cos I couldn't improve on the actual script...

Please feedback - will do absolutely anything for it...

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Part One - Contentment

He hadn't been to LA in years. It had changed. It was a city of light now - even in the dead of night. He wouldn't have come here at all, but the rumours were just too enticing for the vampire to ignore. As he stood on the roof of the hotel he had taken up residence in, the gentle breeze causing his coat to billow out behind like a cape, he found that the rumours were true. He could smell him here. His scent danced on the wind, calling to him like the most elusive siren's song. He couldn't wait to find him again.

Sunlight streamed into the bedroom and gently caressed the two lovers that were wrapped around each other. In the middle of a large oak framed bed, sprawled over the dark blue sheets was a pale lithe form. His white skin was luminescent in contrast to the sheets and provided the perfect backdrop to his sapphire blue eyes. The shock of platinum hair was sleep and sex ruffled and gave him a child like appearance. The small but extremely well toned body spoke of grace and sex but gave no clue as to the power that it contained. The power that would be unleashed should any threat come to the figure curled around his body, seeking the comfort that only he could give it.

Spike pulled Angel further into his body. He had never in his entire existence felt quite so satisfied or loved. He had never been given the chance to love as he needed to. For one hundred years he had wanted to possess the body that he was holding on to but he wanted the body to have been given freely in the first place. He knew that he had no clause on his soul at that moment; if he had he would have lost it the minute that Angel begged him to never leave. He wasn't going anywhere. The claim on Angel bound him to Spike but it also held Angel's soul. He couldn't believe that Angel had given up control to him of all people but he could tell that Angel needed him to look after him. Spike swore that he would walk into the sun before allowing anyone else to harm his Angel. His Claim.

They had spent the past month in the sweet bliss of talking and fucking. Although Spike would tell other people they were fucking he knew that it was a lie. Angel couldn't handle brutal sex. For the time being he needed worshipping, slow and gentle and heart-breakingly sweet love making was all that they had done. Spike couldn't get enough of the milky skin or the dark hair. He needed to touch, stroke, kiss every inch of the body that he owned and Angel needed those touches. He was starved of affection and he craved physical contact so much so that he shivered involuntarily every time that Spike had touched him. Spike was never giving up that power.

Angel stirred. For the first time ever he slept safe, the dreams held at bay by a pair of strong arms that never left him; and it had been going on for a month. For the first time in his long life he felt like he had come home. He needed Spike more than anything and knew that he'd end up dead should Spike walk away from him. He buried into the sleep warmed skin and elicited a chuckle from his master. Spike owned him now body and soul and Angel could only hope that Spike wouldn't abuse that power. Others had before, but Spike could break him as this was the first time he had given up the power willingly.

"You awake Baby?"

"No... sleepin."

Angel snuggled in further. He had no desire to get out of bed this morning for three reasons. The first was that he would have to leave the cocoon of safety that they had built up here in the penthouse, away from the world. The second was that a he would have to strap back on the armour that he had removed under Spike's care over the weekend. That would be harder than taking it off and he wasn't sure that he would be able to keep pulling it on and off. One day he just might not have the energy. If that happened he wasn't sure that he would be able to cope and do what he had to. The third was no more than a feeling; an unpleasant coil deep in his belly that squirmed uncomfortably. He knew that something was coming; something that he feared would destroy the happiness that he had found. He felt safe and loved for everything that he was for the first time in his entire existence and he had the most awful feeling that it was about to be torn away from him.

Spike rolled them so that he was lying on top of his lover. He eased himself into Angel gently. "Can't go back to sleep luv, its Monday. You need to get that beautiful ass out of bed and go to work. Don't fret Peaches, 'm not leavin you to face the world alone though. Not leavin you at all, remember?"

Spike started to rock his body slowly, small thrusts, which would bring them both to a sweet and fulfilling climax. He began to kiss Angel's face and neck. He ran his hands through the dark hair and grinned as he felt Angel begin to stroke his back, clawing and pulling at him as his need grew. Gently, Spike slipped his fangs into the marks on Angel's neck and felt Angel shudder below him as he came. The tightening of his ass and the taste of his blood brought Spike's release, his cry muffled into the corded neck under his mouth.

He looked down on his lover's peaceful face. He could feel through the claim and the blood what was wrong with Angel. He could see his pet's thoughts, he could feel them when Angel was stressed and he wanted nothing more than to take them away.

"I know you're worried but remember when you were worried bout what your little human's were gonna think pet? I didn't let them take you from me, did I Angel? Trust me yeah? Nothin's gonna come between us."

Spike was right. The first morning that they had woken together Angel had panicked about the whole situation. He feared that his friends would make him chose, that they would make him give Spike up. Spike had merely kissed his fears away. He'd told Angel that there was nothing that anyone could do to get rid of him. That he was possessive and that Angel was his and that his friends would have to deal with it. Spike had told him that he was not going to be a secret; they would have to tell his friends. He said that he had done that before, he had been Buffy's secret and he couldn't, no wouldn't, do it again. He did say that they didn't have to tell them about the claiming.

That was still their secret. It made Angel safer that way. They both knew that if Wolfram and Hart found out that Spike had a claim on Angel, something that was more binding for a vampire than any signed contract, they would act. They had spent five years trying to get Angel in one way or another, they weren't about to let him get away now. So they had kept that a secret, but they had told his friends. Angel remembered that evening so clearly that he could simply step back in time and touch it.

They had all gathered in Angel's penthouse and Angel had ordered Chinese. They opened a bottle of wine and Fred had brought some movies with her, they ranged from Pretty Woman to Monty Python and Kill Bill. Angel needed to talk to them first and he had got their attention stuttering all the time. Unable to get the words out Spike had had to take over which he had done in his usual subtle manner. He had simply said "Me and Angel are together now. Anyone with a problem " get over it!" and it was all out in the open.

Fred had been happy for them. She was an old romantic at heart and saw it as two lovers reunited after a century apart and they didn't have the heart to correct her. Lorne hadn't seemed that surprised, he said something about their fighting being a classic avoidance technique. He then pulled Spike to one side and Angel didn't catch what was said, he was too busy fending off Wes' worries about his soul, Spike's soul and working at Wolfram and Hart whilst trying to have a relationship. It took them a while to calm him down but he seemed happy with the fact that they weren't going to lose their souls and if they did he had a restoration one to hand and that they were going to keep their relationship out of the office. They explained that neither of them wanted to be used as pawns against the other but that they had to tell their friends. Gunn seemed a little freaked out but assured them that if they gave him time and didn't flaunt the couple thing in front of him he'd be fine.

Riding on the confidence that their acceptance and well wishes had given him Angel decided to tell them about the dreams. He left out Spike's involvement and emphasised Hell more than the real life events. It took him nearly an hour to tell them everything and Spike had stroked his back and hands the whole time. He had felt safe telling them. He hadn't even cried this time. Fred did and he ended up hugging her at the end of it all. Lorne of course knew and Wes seemed to have guessed but was horrified all the same. Gunn had felt sick at the idea of what had happened to his friend, but Angel assured them that he would be fine. They all made him promise to tell them if they came back or if they changed in any way. Eventually, after a lot of tears and revelations, they did get round to watching a movie. Wes and Fred curled up in one armchair, Gunn sprawled across the floor with his back to the chair that Lorne was sat in and Angel lay back against Spike on the sofa. All in all it was a comfortable evening and Angel felt closer to his friends than he had for a very long time.

Angel brought himself back to the present to find Spike staring at him with a confused and adoring look on his face. He wanted to know where Angel had been and if Angel agreed with him. Angel didn't answer he just leaned up and kissed Spike gently, pouring all of his gratitude into the kiss. He could do this. In here he could break and bend and out there he would be the strong and steady Angel everyone knew.

It took them a full hour to get ready that morning. They both agreed, despite some pouting on Angel's part, that showering together on before work was not a good idea, they tended to get too distracted. They made this rule every Monday morning and it had always been broken by Wednesday at the latest. This new Angel was a revelation to Spike. He was needy and not afraid to show that. Spike had never thought that Angel would be the type to indulge in public displays of affection but he was. It was as if he had never felt safe enough to do it. Spike decided that he should let Angel go down to the office on his own. He spent the rest of the day finishing off packing up his apartment and moving his stuff to Angel's. It had taken him a month to move, simply because they tended to get distracted and he was lazy. He wanted to finish now though; he couldn't bear to be apart from Angel anymore. He also spent a large portion of his time annoying Angel. Now however, it was tinged with love and affection rather than hate and bitterness.

It was a busy day for all at Wolfram and Hart. There had been meeting after meeting after meeting. His hand ached from the number of contracts that he had signed and the hands that he had shook. It was beginning to wear him down and he still had to get the through the rest of the week. It might help if he could get Spike out of his head but that was impossible at the moment. Angel had to forcefully stop himself from checking the lobby every few seconds to see if Spike was lurking over by Harmony's station. He was amazed at himself. In the last month he had fallen so hard for the one person, vampire, he had always imagined would be the death of him was now a ray of sunshine in his life. A none deadly ray of sunshine of course. To be honest? It scared the hell out of Angel. He didn't think that he had ever felt this deeply for anyone in his whole life. he hadn't felt like this for Buffy, or Cordelia and he had definitely not felt this strongly about Darla " even when she had been lying in that alley giving birth and dying for their son. He doubted that even Connor would be able to sway him away from Spike.

He was truly scared by the depth of feeling that he had for the blonde. What scared him all the more though was his reliance on Spike. He knew that he couldn't afford to drop the guards that he had on his perimeter but he had been claimed. He was allowed to let Spike take care of him " that was the basis of a claim. The claiming vampire took it upon himself to protect his claim from everything. It was more powerful than the Sire/Childe bond in the fact that it was done willingly by both parties. A claimed vampire had to surrender that control to his master or else there would be serious ramifications for both parties involved. These usually took the form of insanity on the part of the Claim as they subconsciously fought the power that the other vampire had on them. That fighting caused an aggressive dominant reaction from the claiming vampire forcing them to put more pressure upon their sub. It made for a vicious cycle that neither was able to break. Angel had heard horror stories about vampires that had ripped themselves apart over this and felt very relieved that he was a willing Claim.

He had never realised how freeing it was to unload the responsibility " even if it was only for a few hours. Everyday he signed pieces of paper that had the potential to get people, even his friends, killed or seriously hurt. He felt as though each little signature chipped a little piece of his soul away. But each night he got to go up to the penthouse and fall into strong arms that caught and held him until morning. His dreams were chased away; his worries were burned up by the light that was Spike and all the love that he felt for him. He was terrified though that the light would inevitably burn him up " it was that intense.

The phone rang. He smiled as a husky British voice drawled down the wire requesting his presence upstairs. He didn't have the time to contemplate when Spike had managed to slip past him because he knew that Spike had left earlier in the day to finish packing up his apartment. He buzzed Harmony and told her that he was going for a break and that he'd be in the penthouse if there was an emergency. He heard the slight accusation in her bubbly tone but paid it no heed, putting the phone down and heading to his elevator. Impatiently he pressed the button several times as if that would hurry it up. The wait and the ride up felt like an eternity but the doors eventually opened on a cool, quiet apartment.

He moved through the main living area noting the subtle hints of Spike that had permeated his space. There was the clinging scent of saffron and camphor that was uniquely Spike. It was pungent now that the smell of tobacco had left him and it made Angel calm whenever he caught a whiff of it. It flowed over his senses like a rolling tide washing away any tension that had invaded his body since the last time it had been smelt. There was the abandoned coffee mug and the open CD case on the coffee table. The vast number of CDs and DVDs hidden in the black lacquer cabinet and the collection of random magazines stacked under the small couch side coffee table. Then there was the not-so hidden Playstation that Spike couldn't leave home without. He moved through the strange amalgamation of their lives, noticing that there really wasn't that much of him visible in the room and passed into the bedroom. Lost pondering whether or not this room reflected some part of his life he didn't notice Spike hidden in the shadows by the door until he barrelled into Angel, pinning him to the bed.

"Hello lover."

Angel quivered at the low purr that he heard in that voice. The voice that coaxed him to sleep every night and had him hard in seconds. He smiled up at Spike and laced his fingers through the ones holding his hands. They were gentle and rough at the same time " just like Spike really. On the outside they appeared calloused, worn by over a hundred years of use, yet when he wanted Spike could use them to bring the gentlest touch to Angel's skin. Touches that had him mewing and begging for everything that Spike was able to give. His voice had gone dry at the sight of Spike. His duster gone, wearing only his jeans and t-shirt, strong muscles clearly visible through the thin material.

"Hey."

That was all he could manage and anything else would have been swept away by the ardent kiss that Spike pressed to his mouth. A warm tongue slipped between his lips and traced gentle patterns all over the inside of Angel's mouth, mapping out its territory. He'd been drinking hot chocolate again and Angel moaned as his own tongue lapped up the remaining traces that coated Spike's tongue. He tried to follow when Spike pulled away but was held firmly but gently in place. Spike smiled at him and moved his arms so that he could hold Angel in place with only one hand, leaving the other free to play with the gorgeous body beneath him; the body that he owned completely.

Spike slipped his hand down the length of Angel's side, a rumbling laugh breaking through as Angel shivered involuntarily at the gentle caress and then moved it up to start undoing the buttons on the front of the silky shirt, gently stroking every inch of pale flesh that was revealed. He took his time, driving Angel insane with impatience at the speed with which he wasn't moving. With his hands held down and Spike straddling his thighs he couldn't arch up into the touch as much as he wanted to but he tried all the same. His frustrated efforts caused Spike to chuckle again and stop all of his movements. Angel growled in frustration. Spike released his hands and rested back on his haunches looking down at Angel.

Angel was already hard " an effect of both the claiming and Spike's teasing touches. Claimed vampire's always had the same reaction to their Claimer, it was as if they were permanent cats in heat whenever they were in the vicinity of their master and their master wanted sex. Their bodies responded instinctively to some subconscious call, some unknown aura that was radiated from the one that owned them. If anything though Angel's reaction was all the more immediate because of the feelings that he held for the smirking, blue eyed devil on top of him. Spike shifted his weight so that his own erection was pressing down on the bulge in Angel's trousers and began to strip the shirt off him. Once it was in a crumpled heap on the floor with his own t-shirt lying on top of it, Spike leant back down and engaged Angel's lips in a passionate kiss that melted the nerve endings in Angel's body. Angel arched up, rubbing his sensitised nipples along the marble white skin above him, hissing at the delightful friction and encouraged all the more when Spike pressed him down into the mattress, rubbing along him as if marking his territory.

Angel felt hands tugging at his trousers and he obligingly lifted his hips, shivering as Spike pushed his silk boxers down with his slacks, delighting in the gentle rubbing of the silk against his aroused cock. Spike kicked his trousers off his legs and there was Angel, lying naked and spread out below him like the most appetising meal he'd ever seen. He began to rock his body into Angel, using his jeans to provide them both with added stimulation. He kissed all over Angel's face, delighting in the taste of his skin. He didn't taste like peaches but more like warm honey. His skin was sweet and Spike could have spent the entire afternoon just licking and suckling on it. He nipped his way along Angel's jaw line, pulling gently at the skin, leaving behind a trail of slight red marks. Angel's face was glowing, a sheen of golden sweat was glittering in the dying afternoon and the pink marks from the nips made him almost look human. he panted little puffs of air into Spike's neck, inhaling the smell that was to him everything that he could ever desire.

Their rocking became frantic as they each clawed their way to climax, the rough denim providing a lot but no where near the level of friction that they both so desperately wanted. Nothing that they truly wanted was provided by this frottage, but it still brought them screaming to relief. Spike felt his cool seed spread over the inside of his jeans, frantic to get to Angel's own, desperate to be buried deep inside Angel where it belonged. Spike collapsed onto Angel's body, burrowing in deep as Angel's arms wrapped themselves around him fiercely.

When they had both calmed and the stars had stopped exploding behind their eyes, Angel kissed into Spike's neck until he turned to face him.

"You demanded to see me because you were horny?"

Spike smirked at him, the promise of more sex explicit in that wicked look.

"Nope."

"Then what?"

An adorable mix of confusion and pout crossed Angel's face causing Spike to groan and lick away the innocence, corrupting it with his impious pink tongue. Angel pulled away wanting his question answered. Blue eyes glared at him in frustration but were met with formidable puppy dog eyes that could have moved stone. Angel knew how to turn Spike to jelly both with his own wicked smirks and his total innocence, but it was his innocence that had the most profound effect. Unable to resist those chocolate orbs that for once weren't hidden beneath depths of worry and remorse, Spike sighed.

"Well... I just finished moving in and wanted to christen the place, so to speak."

Angel laughed. It was pure and honest and heart warming to here. It had the innocence of childhood and wisdom of ages. It lit up his face like no sun could ever manage. The radiance came from within and was coloured with pure joy. Spike was sure that he had never seen anything so beautiful in his life and Angel was convinced that he had never been so happy.

"You live here now?"

"Yup."

"Ok then."

And that was it. Spike was momentarily stunned that Angel had nothing more to say on the matter and a small shard of hurt began to needle at him. He was shocked when he was pulled into a passionate kiss that was all tongue and lips and teeth. When they broke apart Spike gasped for unneeded breath and shuddered as Angel started to attack his pants. He cocked an eyebrow in question and was met with a totally innocuous look that belied the words that followed.

"We still have some christening to do."

Part Two - Falling Apart

The Scooby gang plus Andrew and Kennedy sat in Angel's office. They were all in shock over Andrew's announcement that Spike was alive and well and living in LA. The fact that he had help Andrew track down Dana told them all that he was still on the side for good, something that couldn't be said for Angel. They had come to a unanimous decision that they would go to LA, offer Spike his rightful position with the International Council of Slayers and Watchers and get him the hell away from Wolfram and Hart. The trip had a dual purpose though. They were hoping that Angel was still good enough to help them track a vampire.

Gabe was proving to be an elusive and dangerous foe. He had killed every slayer that he had met so far. There was nothing about him in any of the history books or the Watcher's journals. He was obviously old. They had no idea how to bring him down and they needed to fast. He was wiping out the young slayers quicker than the ICSW could find them and doing so in such a random pattern that they had no way to plan for his next move. It was a very undesirable situation that was rapidly spiralling out of control. The intel that they had told them that he had left Europe and was currently in or on his way to LA but that was all they knew. He could very well be setting up a base in LA but hunting slayers elsewhere. In short they had no guarantees.

As soon as Buffy had said that she was heading for the city to hunt the vampire herself Andrew had come clean about Spike. There had been a mixed but definitely positive reaction to this news. Within hours Xander, Willow, Dawn and Giles had decided that they were going with her. Where Willow went, Kennedy followed and Andrew just seemed to invite himself along. Now they were all waiting for the former AI gang to appear. They all wanted to see Spike, to have the verification of their own eyes (or eye in Xander's case) that he was actually alive. When Buffy had heard the news she had gone into shock; guilt at leaving him behind, desire to have him back, love and sorrow all swirling around her head in a deafening roar. As she had mounted the plane at Fiumicino, a colony of butterflies had begun to swarm around her stomach and they had turned to bats somewhere over the Atlantic. Then she had spent the night tossing and turning as she was so nervous about meeting him again. Now she was having to wait.

They had been waiting for a full half hour, Harmony telling them that they would have to wait as everyone was either busy or not actually in the building and that they would have to wait until they got back. Harmony hadn't been exactly pleasant to them either. Although she loved being a vampire, she never aged or put on weight " staying eternally fabulous " she still couldn't help but resent them as they had been the ones to drag her into the battle that had gotten her killed. Never mind the fact that Spike's obsession with Buffy had caused them to break up. She was looking forward to his and Angel's relationship being thrown in her face. Her first time in LA, Cordy had told her the drama that had been the Buffy and Angel show, how she had been utterly in love with him and caused him to lose his soul and that even though he was a couple of hours drive away he was still under her thumb. Angel was now totally in love with Spike and Harmony couldn't help but feel slightly jealous at the passion that Spike held for Angel. It was obvious to all who saw " although she had the added advantage of an enhanced sense of smell to fill in the blanks. She knew that their relationship was serious even though it was still so young but she was worried that Buffy would try something.

For their part, having to wait was causing increasingly active butterflies for all of the Scoobies. They were all excited to see Spike and Buffy was totally nervous. She had meant every word that she had said to him in that cave and grieved over his death, now she wasn't sure where they were at but she knew that she wanted him in her life. She was so angry at Angel for not telling her that he was back. She was unable to believe that he was that petty and jealous that he couldn't acknowledge her right to know that Spike had returned. Dawn was really excited about seeing Spike, unable to believe how much she had missed him over the past few months. It had been almost a year since she had last seen him and despite how mad she had been at him in Sunnydale, he was her big brother, her protector, her friend. She had missed him something fierce and really wanted him to come back with them. Although she had grown up a lot over the past year, there was still a small part of her that wanted Buffy and Spike to be together. She had watched her sister mourn the vampire throughout the past few months, missing his company on hunts and sparring with him. She had seemed awfully alone despite the fact that she had been surrounded by other slayers. The rest of the group just wanted to see Spike and thank him. He had earned their respect and gratitude and they were all delighted that he was all right.

The door opened to admit Angel looking a little battered and bruised being supported by Spike, closely behind them was Wesley, looking very different to how they all remembered, a guy and a girl that they didn't recognise and a green demon. Spike and Angel seemed to be in the middle of an argument, a long one if the looks on everyone's faces were anything to go by. Had the members of the ICSW had looked closely they would have noticed something in the way that Spike and Angel were holding each other, but they let their natural belief that they knew these people blinded their senses.

"No, that's not the case at all!"

"Please Peaches, he had you pinned to the wall!"

"I was fine..."

Angel's voice trailed off when he caught sight of the group gathered in his office and he wanted to crawl away and hide rather than face what he knew was coming. He had a horrible feeling that this was the sense of doom that had been tickling him for the past few days. He tensed and Spike felt it in his body and in his mind. He followed Angel's eyes and came face to face with the Scoobies, the people that believed he was dead. Unconsciously he dropped his arms from Angel and Angel staggered at the lack of support, only Gunn at his back stopped him going down completely. The feeling of inevitability raced through his veins like motor oil, clogging up everything in its path until all that was left was the sense of doom and knowledge that he was about to lose.

"Buffy." Spike was pleased to find that he had been right about the fact that he had no way of opening this conversation. The pleasure quickly turned to pain as she punched his nose. Then she threw her arms around him and pulled him into a fierce hug.

"I thought you were dead. I saw you burn."

"Shh pet...its ok... 'm fine." Spike couldn't help burying his face into her hair and holding her tighter. Eventually they broke apart and Spike had to greet all the other Scoobies.

He got lingering hugs from Red and Nibblet, a brief hug and whisper of thanks form Kennedy, a manly hug from Xander (which scared the hell out of him) and another impression of a limpet from Andrew. Even Giles engaged him in a warm handshake and pat on the back. All of them told him how much they had missed him and how grateful they were to see him again. Buffy remained constantly at his side and once all the welcome hugs were done, Dawn took up a flanking position on his other side.

Angel watched with a heavy heart as Buffy wrapped her hand round Spike's and dragged him to the sofa, sitting down next to him practically plastered to his side. Spike hadn't so much as looked at him since they had arrived, not seeming to care that he was looking like he was in a relationship with Buffy and not Angel. Trying not to draw any attention to himself Angel slipped towards the window, listening as they told Spike of everything that they had been doing and Wes made the necessary introductions. Immediately Angel knew that he couldn't trust Kennedy, she was more extreme in her view on the supposed black and white world that they lived in than Buffy was. He knew that she would stake him as soon as look at him just because he was a vampire " never mind the fact that he had a soul. He could smell the mistrust that rolled of each and everyone of them every time that Wolfram and Hart was mentioned and he knew that there would be no way they would come out of this as friends. He hoped to all the deities listening that he was wrong.

He was however surprised at the lack of feeling that he had for the group that had once been his only link to the real world. Spike had eclipsed everything in his heart and the other spaces were filled by his real family; by Wes, Fred, Lorne and Gunn. The remaining space was taken up by the memory of Cordelia, Darla and of course Connor. He felt affection for the people that he saw and he knew it would hurt if anything happened to them, but it wouldn't leave behind the gaping bloody wound that his friends would leave. Then came the question that he was dreading.

"So where's Queen C?"

Angel didn't have to turn around to know that his group were looking amongst themselves and glancing at him for leadership. He merely slumped his shoulders more and continued to watch out of the window. Wes answered in his stead.

"She died a little over a month ago. We tried to get in contact with you but we were told that you wanted nothing to do with us whilst we were having dealings with Wolfram and Hart."

An ominous silence settled over the group. No one knew what to say to that as they couldn't deny the fact that they had refused to speak to the LA group and Angel knew that his group felt that they were being hypocritical to claim that they truly cared about Cordelia, after all they had barely kept in contact with her after she had moved to LA.

"So, I guess that you just don't bother to inform us of anything anymore."

Everyone was aware that the accusation had more to do with Spike than with Cordelia but despite that fact Wes felt the need to defend them.

"We have tried to contact you all on several occasions but each time we met the same barriers. If you won't allow for any messages to get through how are we meant to contact you? Smoke signals?"

He failed to mention the fact that Spike was the one who forbade them telling the Scoobies that he was back, even when they had suggested calling on Willow to help un-ghost him. That was for Spike to admit to. Cowed by Wes' sudden and vehement attack on them Buffy switched tracks.

"You should see our apartment in Rome. It is beautiful. We're quite near the Trevi Fountain and the area is full of shops and fabulous pizza places. We couldn't get rid of Xander for a month the last time that he came to stay!"

Everyone was aware of the implication behind the words that Buffy spoke and to Angel's increasing heartache Spike said nothing about staying in LA or about their relationship. He didn't even mention that he was seeing someone when Buffy mentioned that she had been dating someone but that it hadn't worked out. After about forty-five minutes of torture on Angel's part and general chit chat on behalf of the others Giles adopted a more formal attitude.

"Yes well, as good as it is to see Spike alive and well, for a vampire, we will have to leave the issue of your return and joining the ICSW for the time being. As much as it galls us to say this Angel we have need of your help." Giles pushed a thick manila folder across the coffee table in Angel's general direction. Angel didn't move from his position on the corner of his desk but he did turn away from the window.

"My help? Or Wolfram and Hart's help?" Angel glanced at the folder as if it were about to leap up and bite him. Angel was not happy at the way they assumed that Spike would be going with them, although Angel feared that that would turn out to be the case.

Spike had been overjoyed to see Dawn and Buffy and thrilled to see the others. Buffy had been equally ecstatic to see Spike. He couldn't compete with that and he knew that should Spike wish to leave, Angel couldn't stop him. He felt Fred's hand slip into his own and Wesley take a seat on the desk next to him in a show of moral support. It was killing the pair of them to see Spike curled up with the two Summers girls. They knew that it was destroying Angel but Spike had been so happy to see the people that he had loved in Sunnydale that he hadn't noticed the discomfort of his Claim.

Buffy took control, her status as Prime Slayer apparent in the way she decided to steer the discussion.

"Yours Angel. We are hunting a vampire known as Gabe. He has killed every slayer that he has come into contact with " most of them were unknown or unconnected to the ICSW. From his apparent strength and skill, he is obviously an old vampire. Not Master or Kakistos old but he is no newbie and that is the extent of out knowledge. We can't find anything about him anywhere, which considering how good he is, we are finding that really worrying. We have him tracked to LA. He has been here for a few weeks at most, but he hasn't killed any slayers here yet and we want to sort this out before he does."

Angel glanced at Wes and Gunn, both shook their heads declaring what he suspected to be true.

"We haven't heard of any new vampire in town. If he's as proficient as you say we'd have heard about him by now."

The Scoobies looked amongst each other, briefly considering the fact that they could be wrong but all their evidence had pointed to him coming here.

"No, he's definitely here."

"You're sure?"

"Positive. That file contains everything that we know about him. So far it's only a list of the slayers that he's killed."

Wes frowned at the lack of information. If that was all they had to go on then it was going to be very difficult to track him down in a city the size of LA.

"You have nothing else?"

"No."

"Well, I guess Special Ops have their work cut out for them."

Their was another exchange of private looks and Giles cleared his throat.

"Actually, we would prefer it if Wolfram and Hart had nothing to do with this arrangement. Some slayers may be in danger and we want them to have no contact with this place."

Angel felt his heckles rising at the implications that Giles seemed to be making. He glanced at his friends and saw a similar fury in their expressions. It was Gunn who put their thoughts into words.

"So you want our help but you don't want us involved?"

"That's not what Giles said."

"No, what he said amounted to the fact that you want to have free reign to use the resources that Wolfram and Hart have put at our disposal but you don't want us involved."

Buffy couldn't help the frustrated 'hmph' that escaped her lips as Gunn hit the nail on the head. They had discussed this all the way on the plane. Wolfram and Hart had resources that they didn't " especially in the demon world, but they really didn't want to involve themselves or the slayers they were trying to protect in the mire that was Wolfram and Hart. The Watcher's Council had always been aware of the potential threat that the law firm posed, but with only one Slayer it hardly seemed worth the effort to get involved. Now there were hundreds of girls all over the world with the power of the Slayer and Wolfram and Hart seemed a bigger threat.

"Look, are you going to help us or not?"

"Of course we will. Did you seriously think that we wouldn't?"

Angel couldn't keep the note of hurt out of his voice as he spoke voluntarily for the first time in the whole meeting. He received no reply.

"So we're huntin tonight then luv?" Spike cocked an eyebrow at Buffy. She nodded and gave him a small grin. "Jus' like old times then pet."

"Yeah " we even have a stash of hot chocolate and marshmallows for after." Buffy wanted to talk to Spike after patrol so that they could sort out his coming back to Rome with her. She was confident that he would as he didn't seem to have any lasting attachments here and the way he had been with all of them screamed to her that he needed his friends. "So what are we waiting for? Come on guys, let's patrol LA. How many different cities does that make it now Will?"

Angel listened to their inane banter as they left his office. It had been clear to all of them that they were not invited on this hunt. Angel got the sneaking suspicion in his gut that Spike wouldn't be back tonight.

"Angel? Are you ok?" Fred was worried for her friend. She had seen how he had loved and lost Cordy and that had been tough, this looked like it was going to be more serious though.

"I'm fine Fred. Why wouldn't I be?" Angel's reply sounded forced to his own ears and he could see the patented looks of disbelief on the faces of his friends. "Ok, I'll be fine."

"Perhaps we should discuss this mysterious vampire they are hunting. If he has set up shop in LA that would be bad for us and so I think that we should get a jump on this before anything starts to occur." Wesley took the folder from the table and began to pass sections to each person as Fred put in a call for take out.

It was well after 2am when they decided to call it a night. Angel offered them the guest rooms on his floor which they gladly accepted. He fell into his bed and was amazed at the size of it. It was much too big and cold without Spike. Something was troubling him about the vampire they were tracking. There was something there, staring him in the eye and he couldn't quite see it. It was going to drive him insane " he knew that. Eventually he curled into the arms of sleep, lamenting the lack of the physical arms that he had come to rely upon.

The Master came back to him that night. It was his first time again. He was flogged until there was no skin left on his back. He was then manacled to the bed " the cuffs on his wrists and ankles stretching him wide. He felt the cold, cold hands running over his flesh and then pulling his cheeks roughly apart and then the pain... greater than any he had experienced before. He was stretched and filled more than he thought possible. He felt as though the thrusting would force the cock all the way through him, splitting him in half. He was hammered into the mattress so hard that he could feel the wooden support below. Blood was seeping down from a cut on his head where the Master had smashed it into the ground. He was begging for it to end and yet it wasn't going to, he knew that. He was so scared...

He woke up panting.

The dream had been so real that he could still feel the shocks of pain radiating from his backside. It hurt so much that he wouldn't have been shocked to smell blood. It had been more vivid than ever before. He could still feel the cold hands mapping their way over his skin, the claws raking bloodied tracks in his flesh. He was clammy with a cold sweat " entirely the product of his nightmares. As he gradually woke up more he remembered other details of the dream, details that he had never had before.

A cold and remarkably hard hand pushed him down. There was so much strength in that one hand, he dreaded to find out how much strength there was in the rest of that cold marble body. He hadn't the energy to scream anymore. His throat was raw with crying and ivory fangs had sapped most of the fight out of him. He felt the tears track down his cheeks and remembered feeling like this when he was only thirteen and Donal had pushed him into a similar mattress. At the horrific thought of what might be to come he began to struggle with what remained of his energy, icy fear making up for the blood loss.

He was dimly aware of a serpentine hiss in his ear telling him that he belonged to the bloodied monster that towered above him. He could feel the words of ownership being whispered into the deep lash marks on his back and into the deep tear on his throat and his blood soaking them up despite his frantic struggles.

He screamed as a talon-esque finger breached him violently. The serrated nail tore at the delicate tissue that was beyond the ring of muscle and brought forth a small and steady stream of viscous blood. No matter how much the powerful male anal muscles tried to force the foreign and unwelcome object from his body, that one finger was stronger than all of his muscles put together. He tried to bury his head into the mattress and block out what was happening to him, but nothing seemed to help. His silent screams were absorbed by the goose down but nothing could block out the smell of rich honeyed blood, salty tears and the astringent aroma of the Master's arousal.

When the huge and almost petrified cock slammed into him he arched off the bed and desperately tried to claw his way away from it. Sharp ungues ripped through the flesh and muscle of his hips and sunk into the bone, holding him in place as a punishing rhythm was set. He cried for someone, anyone to come to him and help but his calls just bounced back to him off the cave walls.

As the Master continued to hammer into him, continually ripping and tearing at that tender flesh, he felt a warm glow caress his face. He turned towards the light and saw Spike and Buffy entwined in an ardent embrace. So wrapped up in one another they were ignorant to his cries for help. He screamed and shouted but he could see the words bounce off the barrier of their passion. He reached out a desperate hand to them but it was smacked down by a fist that felt more like a sledgehammer. He watched them dumbly as the Master rode on unable to do anything about his predicament.

As it came, he welcomed the call of unconsciousness, willingly diving into its depths in order to escape the physical and heart shattering pain that he was feeling. The last image that he saw was a pair of green eyes lurking in the shadows just out of reach.

Green eyes.

He knew no one with eyes that colour, green as emeralds, green as Irish hills. Yet, they felt... they felt welcome, familiar.

He glanced at his beside clock. The red digital display was flashing 3.34. He hadn't even had an hour's sleep but there was no way that he wanted to go back to sleep. He slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom. He needed to wash the feel of those claws, that mouth, those words from his skin because he knew there was no way to erase them from his mind. The scalding hot water managed to remove some of the physical memory but the ghosts refused to fade no matter how hot the water got. He only stopped his vicious scrubbing when he smelt blood. Glancing at his arms Angel was horrified to see that he had scratched the skin off of them, the soft flannel having been turned into a metal scourer by his fear and revulsion. Revulsion at himself for letting that creature back into his nightmares.

Angel sat and watched the dawn claim LA and trembled as he imagined Spike and Buffy doing the same thing. He tried to drink a mug of blood and a mug of coffee but both tasted like ashes in his mouth. Every time he closed his eyes he had flashes of himself, naked and manacled to a cold stone floor, a holy water dipped cat shredding through his skin and a cruel whisper of 'Mine' echoing down barren corridors. The warm morning sun did nothing to help ease the impressions that the icy hands of nightmare had left on his skin, it only emphasised the echo that still lingered.

Buffy, Spike and the others came in later that day. They were all smiles and sunshine and Angel felt sick. Spike barely said hello. Barely spared a glance to the dark figure that he had woken wrapped around a little over twenty four hours earlier. As he watched the way that they chatted and joked he felt his heart break. He watched whilst they researched, sharing memories that brought laughter bubbling over their lips. He listened as they discussed the previous night's unsuccessful hunt, making it sound like an erotic adventure to his melancholy ears. They didn't notice when he slipped out of the door.

That night he didn't dream.

He wished that he had.

Instead, he was assailed by a vision... Cordelia hadn't lied when she said that they were more painful than they looked. He felt as though molten lava was being poured into his skull whilst his brain was being pulled out at the same time. He lost total control of his body as it convulsed with pain. Red hot pain that blinded him to the world and perversely made him ache for the rime of his dream.

He saw flashes of a girl... young... pretty... long dark hair that framed her tanned heart shaped face. Her dark eyes were filled with tears and a sadness that was as deep as the ocean... She was at a grave... her mother's... there was a demon... burnt umber skin... four long claws... jagged fangs... Oh God! He felt it as the demon dug its claws into her and ripped her intestines out. He saw them fall on the floor in a loose puddle of flesh and blood. He felt her terror. He felt her pain. He felt her die...

It was hell...

He did the one thing that he could do. He pulled his agonised body out of its contorted position on the floor, hurriedly dressed in a pair of combats, a jumper and his boots and left the penthouse, pulling Cordelia's katana sword off of the wall as he went.

Not knowing where he was headed he merely followed the tugging in his mind hoping that it would lead him right. If he turned wrong the pain increased, forcing him to his knees, sobbing for mercy from unthinking powers that couldn't help him anymore.

It was a tear stained forlorn white knight that saved the princess this time, barely able to parry the demon's advances due to the pain in his head.

When he returned from the demon hunt he didn't dare go to sleep. If he did the dreams might come back or he'd see the vision again. He wanted Spike. He needed Spike. He was meant to be able to come up here and fall apart and Spike would put him back together. But Spike wasn't here and he was still falling apart. Instead he sat on his carpeted penthouse floor, head pressed against the window and waited for the dawn to take him. He didn't move until Wesley appeared six hours later and forced his bloodied form into a warm shower.

Part Three - Realisation

It would be fair to say that Wesley was incandescent with rage. Spike had stayed with the Sunnydale crew for the past five nights. Angel's nightmares were back and something new was troubling him. He knew that Angel wasn't even sleeping anymore. He had picked his bloodied form off of his lounge floor three times and the other two mornings he had had to call Angel to come down to work. If Wes was telling the truth then he was scared for his friend. He was breaking under some invisible weight and he wasn't letting anyone in to relieve him of it. He imagined that there was only one individual that would be able to break Angel from this destruction. Thing was, he wasn't sure that that person would care anymore or that he trusted them to help. He hoped that Angel's meeting didn't end before they arrived as he (and the others) had a few things to say to the vampire. His cell gave a swift trill and he answered it rather more sharply than he had meant to.

"Woah! Chill English it's just me. They are here. We're in conference room two, when you're ready." With that brief message Gunn hung up.

Five minutes later, Wesley and all of his texts were in the conference room with the others. They appeared to be having no luck tracking the vampire and the LA crew had to say the same thing. He was a total mystery.

"So you've had no luck over the past five nights?" Wes couldn't keep the suspicious note out of his voice, no matter how hard he had tried. Demons weren't known for keeping secrets.

"Nope, nothing, nada, niente! It's as quiet as a ghost town out there my little amigos and these books are just as useful."

Xander slammed the book in question shut and pushed it to the centre of the table, glaring at it accusingly. Wes didn't know what they expected " maybe in Sunnydale the demons had announced their presence, but in LA? In LA, they were smart; sometimes they were too smart. Something was still troubling him though about the fact that this vampire was able to hide in such an organised city as LA. Unless...

"Have you checked everywhere?"

"Yup Percy. Went to every demon joint that I know of and then some. There is no trace of this bloody menace anywhere."

Wes looked towards Lorne and Gunn who both confirmed the same thing. His anger momentarily checked by his worry, he sank into his chair and began to really think this thing through. Seeing the impatient looks that he was getting he realised that he would have to think aloud.

"I don't really know what it has been like for you, but here there is a certain protocol that demons seem to follow. New demons to the city, especially ones that have power are immediately ferreted out by... snitches... so to speak. Umm, here there is a great underground information market " no one can hide in LA. If the demon is proficient and powerful then it has enemies. That means there is money to be made by knowing where it is staying."

"So you're saying that you don't think he's here? Wesley, I did a tracking spell myself and it showed that he came here. That he was here when we left Rome."

There was a spark in Willow's eyes that was just daring Wes to challenge her proficiency as a witch. He wasn't intending to.

"Maybe he moved on."

"Perhaps Dawn."

The Scoobies seemed momentarily disheartened by the idea that they had lost the vampire again. Wes didn't think that it was that simple.

"Actually, before everyone interrupted, the point that I was trying to make was that this vampire must be very powerful."

He was met by a host of blank faces. He was growing impatient at their inability to grasp what he was saying. He felt like getting a flip chart and spelling it out for them in really small words. They weren't even thinking about this vampire " just patrolling the city!

"I think that he's here. I also think that he has enough power to ensure that no one will 'rat him out'."

Buffy gave him a disbelieving look at that idea. Sure the vampire was strong but he wasn't powerful " no chance.

"If he's that powerful Wesley, then why haven't we been able to find him in any of the books? Also what proof do you have to suggest that he's still here?"

"Maybe we aren't searching for the right name. It would be like looking for the Master under Nest or Spike without looking up William the Bloody. Gabe may just be a moniker. And my proof comes from the fact that my locator spell failed to turn anything up."

"Maybe you aren't that good at magic."

"No, Buffy. I am good at magic " not as good as Willow but I am definitely proficient enough to cast a simple locator spell. Not only did my spell fail but it was returned."

Willow's head shot up.

"He can use magic."

"I think so."

A spell of silence settled over them all. If Wes assumptions were correct then Gabe was more of a threat than they had realised. He was potentially very dangerous indeed. Gunn leafed through the file in front of him. They needed a new avenue of investigation.

"Do you have any idea of what he looks like? Cos I'm thinking... the vamp's new to the city so, unless he is dossing down in some abandoned building " which is not a good way to stay off radar " he's probably checked into a hotel."

"Charlie Boy " vamps don't use hotels that much, tend to just kill and take over a house."

"Not if you're hiding you don't."

"Charles is right. It's not what he'd be expected to do. I'm sure that Angel could do a real good drawin' of the guy if we have an idea of what he looks like."

Giles and Willow began to flick through their files on this matter whilst Andrew made a large show of producing an A5 spiral notebook and turning every page with an audible snap of his wrist. He was driving the LA gang insane. He refused to acknowledge that they had their own expertise in these areas and in some cases actually knew more than Rupert Giles " for instance Quantum Physics, Demonic Law, Pylea to name but a few. Kennedy was the same, she was in love with the power of the Slayer; little realising power isn't useful if you don't know how to wield it. None of them had bothered to listen to Angel when he had suggested that they search the more uptown areas of LA, convinced that the vampire would be more comfortable in the warehouse and docks districts of LA. They didn't seem to understand that they weren't on their home turf anymore and there were other people with better experience.

"Speaking of, where is Deadboy?"

Fred and Lorne both narrowed their eyes as they noticed that Spike had no real reaction to that question. He hadn't noticed Angel's absence for the past few days so why should he now?

"Busy. He'll be here when he can."

Wes' response was short and clipped, his anger having re-manifested itself at the implication of Angel as an after thought.

"Wes? Was he... ok this mornin'?"

Fred was hesitant to let the others know that there was something really wrong with her friend but she hadn't had a chance to check on him before now and she wouldn't ever forgive herself if she didn't check on it. Wes caught her eye and the look in his deep blue eyes was one of fear. Other than that there was no other indication that what he said wasn't the absolute truth.

"Yes."

The LA gang shared deafening stares; all of them knew that Spike had hurt Angel very deeply, but only Wes was aware of the extent to which Angel had deteriorated. He wasn't sleeping, he wasn't feeding and his eyes... those deep brown eyes were more haunted than ever before. Wes had made it his practise to study Angel in so much detail that he would know if the slightest hair was out of place. Angel didn't have any hairs out of place at the moment; his whole state of mind was out of place. He was withdrawn, distracted, and distraught. He knew that the mornings he had found Angel on the floor of the penthouse he had been waiting for the sun " either to banish whatever was haunting him or to take him. He had been in more fights in the last few nights than he had in the last month. His ribs were broken and Wes had seen numerous bruises that were fortunately covered by clothes most of the time. If people had really been paying attention they would have noticed other small changes about Angel too. Gone were the suits and shirts, in their stead were either plain black pants or combats and loose fitting jumpers. The most variety in his clothing now was grey. Black or grey, that said everything about his mood. Not only that but there was no gel in his hair, it was in its natural state of disarray, he hadn't bothered to even try to tame it. Nor had he bothered to clean his boots of the gore of the previous night. These small, almost unnoticeable things spoke volumes to Wes.

Angel was imploding. Slowly and steadily spiralling towards the sun.

His fury firmly back in place he turned to face the comet that had caused the E.L.E in Angel's life. He wanted to rip strips off of the blonde vampire that was at present doodling on Buffy's 'research'. Whatever it was was obviously keeping them both amused. About to open his mouth he was distracted by a slight movement in the doorway.

Angel.

He hurt was clearly evident on his face and Wes thought that he could see the slight shimmer of unshed tears before Angel's body trembled and his attention turned in the direction of the elevators. Wes watched Angel as he watched the mail clerk collide with a research assistant and produce a cascade of tumbling papers. There was nothing particularly unusual in that type of occurrence but the expression on Angel's face caught his full attention. He wasn't shocked, surprised or even moved by it, despite the fact that the entire floor could hear the research assistant yelling at the mail clerk. The little scene even had the full attention of everyone in conference room two.

"Hey Sweet Cheeks how was the meeting?"

Angel sighed and moved into the room, refusing to look in the direction of Spike, but unable to stop himself.

"Can we get Eve back? Because even she would be preferable to what I sat through in there. Hamilton is really starting to piss me off! What did I miss?"

Angel flopped into the chair at the end of the table. He tried not to notice that Spike and Buffy were sat at the top of the table looking every inch the perfect couple. Blonde heads so close that they were almost touching as they read a text together. His body was screaming at him to move so that he was near his master. His claim needed to be recognised, his demonic side was demanding it with everything that it was but Angel didn't even have the energy to move, let alone demand Spike's attentions. Why would he want them anyway? Oh yeah... he was falling apart at the seams.

"Nothing much. We haven't been able to discover anything more than you it would appear. I thought that the taking over of a huge firm like this was to make it easy for you to get information like this. I guess you sold out for nothing."

Not even the energy to defend himself from such deadly attacks. Did she realise how hard they hit? How deep the cuts that they made were? How scarred he already was by her appearance?

"Now hang on a minute there Buffy. You have no idea why we took this place or what we do here. I would think that you would show a little respect seeing as though we have taken time out from our lives to help you with a vampire that is ripping your organisation apart. But then you never showed me any respect when I was your Watcher so why should you now."

"Buffy was just pointing out what we all feel." Giles wasn't about to let anyone attack his slayer but Angel didn't even have the energy to watch another argument on this issue again. His voice was thick and leaden with sheer exhaustion.

"Guys... Let's not do this ok? You are never going to understand why we have done this. The most we can hope for is that you can trust us. If that is impossible then can we please just part as old friends?"

"Angel you're sentiments are all well and good but some of us are not friends. There is too much bad blood between us to pretend otherwise."

Angel heard what wasn't said in that but decided not to retaliate.

"Fine. Then we should perhaps finish here and now. This meeting is over." He turned to his crew making sure that he didn't look at Spike. "Guys, I am going to go up, I had a bad night and my head is killing me. Call me if you need anything yeah?"

Angel left the room. As he began to wander up to his office he felt the heavy weight of fear settle in his chest. It was a good thing that he didn't need to breathe because the tightening and pressure would have made that impossible. He desperately wanted to sleep. 'To sleep, perchance to dream... For in that sleep of death what dreams may come...' If he never dreamed again he would be happy. If he never saw the cruel mocking bloodied smile of the Master. If he never felt the iron grip of fear and humiliation that settled like a collar around his neck; making him a slave to the rape of his dreams. If he never saw the entwining sunshine of two lovers so beyond him it was unfair to tease him with their Promethean heat. If he never saw those green eyes that watched him from the depths of shadows. If all of that came true, then he would have the redemption that he so desperately craved.

Eyes as green as Irish hills...

He staggered as the blow knocked all of the air out of his system. It was a thunderbolt of realisation that brought with it an enormous amount of nervous energy. How had he been so blind? It was all there laid out before him and he hadn't seen it... He knew what was so familiar about the killings. He knew where he had seen those eyes before... If he had been alive his heart would have been hammering its way out of his chest. Yet, he couldn't be sure he had to check... He ran, full throttle back to the meeting room, panting in anticipation.

Everyone glanced up in surprise at Angel's return, but only four of them realised that he was... afraid?

"Giles, the killings? What order were they in? Which was first?"

Giles looked at his notes and turned to the vampire "Do you need the dates?" A brief shake of the head indicated that Angel just wanted to know where. "The first was in Paris, the second Blois, then..."

Giles was a shopping list of death. The pattern though was obvious to him.

"Angel, I have marked the map in order but I do not understand what is happening. Do you see a pattern here?"

Angel didn't reply to Wesley. He just stared at the map. In the back of his mind he could feel everyone looking at him but he was more involved with the scene that was playing out in his head. He wasn't in LA anymore... he was 240 years in the past... he was home again...

Not bothering to say anything to anyone he flew out of the room and into the LA night, as if the very hounds of hell were at his heels once more.

"What was that about?" Xander looked around the group to see if anyone else understood what was happening. No one seemed to, so at least he didn't feel stupid.

"I believe that was Angel playing the drama queen." Giles was tired of the dark vampire's dramatics. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. Andrew nodded at his mentor's assessment.

Wesley couldn't help the red haze that settled over his vision. He let it flow into every pore of him. His friend, his oldest, truest friend was afraid of something. He knew more about this vampire than he was going to admit. Wes had seen it grow as Angel had heard the order of the killings. This vampire had been a part of Angel's past. A significant part. He turned a furious gaze on the man that he had once admired.

"I think Giles, had you been paying attention you might have realised that Angel has just worked out something about your vampire." He turned to look at the door that was still closing from the impact of Angel bursting out of it. His voice became wistful. "Knowing Angel, he'll have either gone after the creature himself or he is out confirming his theory. Now I think that this meeting is over. Guys? Take the night off, Angel won't mind. See you tomorrow."

He turned and gave the Scoobies a withering look. He didn't bother to say goodbye, he just gathered his books and swept out of the room.

Part Four - Reunion

Angel ran from the Wolfram and Hart building, glad that he had decided to wear black trousers and a sweater rather than a suit to work that day. He wasn't concentrating on where he was going he just knew that he needed to breathe. He needed to get as far away from everyone and everything and just breathe. He could feel the walls pushing in on him and he felt totally out of control and more alone than he had ever been in his life. He had lost everything that had once given his life meaning and he had no way of getting it back.

Feeling hemmed in by the buildings on either side of him and trapped by the cars that passed him by he decided that he needed to get higher. He sprung up the side of a building, scaling it effortlessly and so quickly that no one on the ground would have seen him. He hopped from window ledge to window ledge and found hand holds in impossible places. Once on the roof he felt the pressure ease but not enough. He began to run again. He picked up speed and leapt from the roof to a window across the narrow alley way. Again he climbed up the wall, using the drainpipe for leverage and vaulted on to the roof. This roof was higher and made him feel freer but he could see a taller building a few buildings away.

He needed to see the stars.

Once Angel had reached his destination, the tightening in his chest seemed to ease. He moved to the ledge and perched on it looking over the city that he had sworn to protect. He saw thousands of tiny lights, all colours of the rainbow, glowing happily in the dark and he hated it. It wasn't worth it. He had given up so much, lost so much for people that didn't know and who most likely didn't care. Even those that did know hardly ever thought on it and people that should know better refused to believe it. For the first time since starting at Wolfram and Hart Angel actually doubted himself. He could see that they all assumed he went there for the wealth; that he sold out. They didn't question the fact that he had given them the resources they had needed to close the Hellmouth. They didn't realise that he had siphoned money from Wolfram and Hart into the Watcher's Council accounts so that they had something to live on. That didn't even occur to him at that point. He had been brought so low by the opinions of others, his nightmares telling him he was a failure and now the visions. Had he thought about it they should have told him that the Powers were still on his side, but he saw it as another attack.

Another way to break him.

He wished that he could be Angelus. He had feared nothing, not even Hell. He had refused to give up there and he hadn't let Angel give up either. Life without a soul was easier " there were no shades of grey, just black and white, good and evil and you didn't really care what side you were on. Angelus could have easily fought for good had he wanted to. It just wasn't as much fun. Angel's soul stopped him from going to the dark side purely because of the people that he cared for. If they weren't there, if the memory of Cordelia, Doyle, Connor and even Darla didn't haunt him, then he would have given up long ago.

And now he was back.

Gabriel.

Angel hadn't thought on that name in over two hundred years, he couldn't afford to.

He had met Gabriel when he was still a fledge, before he was truly Angelus. Sure he had murdered his entire village but that was a reaction to the way he had been treated when he was alive. It was a reaction to his father's beatings and depreciative attitude. It was retaliation for what Donal had done to him. It was a consequence of suddenly having the power that you had never had in life. Once he had gotten away from Galway, he had calmed down. He had enjoyed the killing like any other vampire, he had excelled at it; but the violence and the mindless destruction came after his time with Gabriel.

After they had gotten him back.

He was seven years old and Darla had been summoned to Vienna to see the Master. He decided that he wanted to go to Paris. He loved the art of the place. He wanted to spend his time wandering through the vibrant Paris streets and soaking in the beauty of the place. Sure it was as squalid as any city at the time, but he had still found beauty there and wanted to again. So he had parted company with Darla and gone to Paris promising to meet her in Rome in two months.

For the first week he had merely wandered around the city. It was so big to him. He was as sure and cocky as he had been in life but he was in awe of the huge city, the rumblings of the coming revolution exciting him. He hunted and fed but mostly he revelled in the freedom that he had. He didn't want to go back to the Order or to Darla; he found it almost as oppressive as he had found his human life. He just needed to find a way out.

What he didn't know was that he had caught the attention of an older vampire.

Gabriel was 264 when he met Angelus and had yet to truly sire a childe. He hadn't found anyone worthy to keep. He was a member of the Order of Dagon, supposedly the direct descendants of the very first Vampire. They were the elite of all vampire society, and Gabriel was the youngest of their Order but he was still immensely powerful. They all were. He had spotted the young carefree vampire the night that he had arrived in Paris and had been disappointed to learn that he was a Childe. Had he been a mere minion he'd have taken him there and then, but there was politics in him being a Childe. He'd followed him every night since then, content to watch the boy revel in his passion for life. He hadn't intended to reveal himself so soon but when his boy had been set upon by a twelve strong group of minions he'd lost it. Each one of them had died quickly and he had scooped up the injured vampire and taken him to his loft.

Angelus hadn't left his side for a year after that. Gabriel had taught him everything. He had taken Angelus to every city that he had wanted to visit. Shown him every piece of art that he wished to see. Taught him how to fight, how to feed, how to speak six human languages and three demonic ones and more importantly... he showed him love. Affection had never been part of his life but Gabriel worshipped him. Promised him that he would take him away from the Order that he had told him he hated so often. He had been truly happy with Gabriel and Gabriel had been besotted with his new lover. He hadn't let him out of his sight.

And then he had gone, leaving Liam at the mercy of Darla and the Master and utterly heartbroken...

Now he was back and somewhere in the city.

Worst of all, they were planning to kill him. Even after 240 years the very idea of Gabriel being staked chilled his demon to the core. Angelus had been driven insane by the loss of Gabriel as sure as he had been by the loss of his soul. Angel dreaded to think what would happen now though. He knew that he couldn't kill Gabriel. He had killed Darla and Penn and set Dru alight, but he wouldn't be able to kill Gabriel. He had loved Gabriel with everything that had been left of Liam and now he had Liam's soul.

It's true that when the demon takes your body your soul leaves. It is also true that at the same time there is something left of that human you had been. There has to be " otherwise you wouldn't know anything about the life the body had led before. It's what kept vampires so grounded, what made them fascinated by humans; they needed to know where the difference between them lay. This was even more so for Childer as their Sire's had seen something that they had wanted in the human they had taken. The demon was refined within Master vampires, not the snarling animal that most turned vampires were. Losing Gabriel had meant losing that part. He had loved Gabriel, really and truly. Angelus never let himself love after that. He was too broken up. Now Angel was broken even more so, and he feared that this would destroy him.

So lost in his thoughts Angel didn't hear the dull thud of another body alighting on the roof. He didn't even smell the other vampire. He didn't notice anything until they spoke.

"Hello Angel."

Gabriel was still beautiful. Silky black hair and sharp green eyes and milky coffee skin. He was as elegant and graceful as a cat. He didn't walk as much as he seemed to glide towards Angel. He was as alluring and intoxicating as he had been when Angel had first seen him... When he had woken up on a feather bed and stared into eyes as green as Irish hills... He had lost himself in those hypnotic eyes and was doing so again. Gabriel stopped just before their bodies were touching but had they had need to breathe they would have been sharing each others air.

"You're still beautiful Petit."

His slight French accent stroked over Angel's face, followed by the soft pad of his thumb and Angel's eyelids fluttered closed without his permission. That voice always had weakened him.

"You killed the Slayers."

He needed to focus and not be taken back to that place. He couldn't do it again. He couldn't afford to lose himself in Gabriel, there was too much to risk.

"I did Mon Petit. I was trying to find you."

"Why?"

"Because Angel, you let another claim you. I saw you first, all those years ago; I would have had you then. But..."

"You left me."

He couldn't stop it. All the hurt that he felt when he had woken up to find Gabriel gone flooded back. No note, no message. He had waited for weeks, believing that Gabriel would return for him and he would take him from the Order that he hated. He had been so young and foolish then. Not even ten years old and yet it still hurt 240 years later.

"Non Mon Cher, I never left you. Not willingly. Your Sire and her's found us. He had told my Sire that I had stolen you from them and that I was holding you against your will. I was forced to leave you. I never wanted to Petit; I wouldn't even tell them where you were. I knew that you hated them and wanted you to have the time to escape them."

"You should have come back. I would have told your Sire."

"I know that Mon Ange but he wouldn't hear me. Then they found you again, and I couldn't follow."

Gabriel moved closer to him as if to press upon Angel the truth behind his words but Angel turned away. That feeling was back, that fluttering feeling in the pit of his stomach and he was a seven year old fledge in awe and in love with the dark and exotic vampire. Gabriel had almost broken through Angel's barriers but Angel couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let people die, he couldn't let Gabriel kill.

"So now what? Why have you come here now? To ruin my life again?"

"You make it sound as if I am ruining your happiness Petit, but I am not. I see it on your face. You've been claimed but not kept. He hasn't fulfilled his promises has he? He hurts you and he doesn't even know. I see it all over your face. Your heart cries out Cher, and I am the only one to hear it."

Seeing the truth of his words hit Angel like the force of a Mack truck he moved forward and pulled Angel into his arms. To his great age, Angel still felt like the fearful fledge that he had met all those years ago. He was well aware that Angel was more dangerous now, but Gabriel didn't fear him. He, what he had done had created the rage that created Angelus. But he had known Angel; he had had Angel, Liam, for a whole year. He had loved him for a whole year and been loved by him. That wasn't something that would ever change. He had taught the vampire that he held everything that Angelus had ever truly learned. Darla may have taught him cruelty but Gabriel had taught him about passion, pain, love and life. He had awoken the sensuality that had been destroyed in Liam by his father and Donal.

For a few moments they stood on the roof entwined as only lovers can be. Angel buried his head into the intimate hollow between Gabriel's chin and shoulder and inhaled the scent that had been home to him so long ago. He felt fingers caress his hair and lower back and fought the urge to purr and become a boneless mass of vampire. He felt safe; something that he had needed to feel for the past week and no one had been willing to give him. He felt as though nothing could touch him here, not even the Powers. Not his guilt or his past. He was truly safe.

"I can't do this."

He pulled himself away from Gabriel but a pair of strong arms trapped him and held him still. Gabriel stared into his eyes for what felt like eternity.

"You don't have to do anything Mon Ange. Let me look after you."

His voice was a seductive whisper that reeled Angel in. He found himself leaning into Gabriel's touch and a feather-light kiss brushed across his lips. It would have been so easy to take what was being offered but he couldn't. He pulled himself free and backed away, being close to Gabriel was too tempting.

"I can't. Please just go. They're hunting you and they'll kill you if they find you. Go, I won't say anything, just please leave."

Angel's voice was barely a whisper but the pain and despair in that voice was as loud as thunder. Gabriel felt his heart break and he wanted to rip into everything that had caused his boy pain. After all of these years, Angel was still his, always would be. Slowly, as if trying to calm a spooked animal, he moved towards Angel. He ran his fingers lightly over his face and spoke softly.

"I'm not going anywhere Petit. I can't leave you like this, so hurt, so scared. I promise though, they won't find me and I won't kill. I won't make it hard for you but I won't leave. I did that once before."

He brushed another kiss over Angel's lips and then backed away.

"If you need anything, Mon Cher, anything at all..."

He melted into the darkness leaving Angel alone on the roof, trembling. He told himself that it was just the cold but he knew that he was just lying " and not even doing a good ob at it.

Part Five... Confessional - aka White Knight Wes

Angel returned to Wolfram and Hart and was relieved to find that they had all gone. He thought that he remembered something about them going to a club or bar, but he couldn't be sure. He wanted to talk to someone but he wasn't sure how to tell them what he knew. How do you tell them that the figure they are hunting is an old lover that wants you back? How do you admit that you are feeling so lost that you want to go back?

Angel couldn't help but feel a deep hatred for Spike. Over the past month he had lowered all of the defences that he had put in place over a hundred years and let Spike in. The walls that let him deal with everything had been smashed and broken and were lying in pieces around his feet. He was broken and was still breaking. This place, the dreams, the visions, Spike and Buffy together, Gabriel... it was all too much. It was destroying him and all he wanted was for a strong pair of arms to wrap around him and tell him that he was safe. Thing was that he wasn't sure whose arms he wanted. He hadn't noticed that he had sunk to the floor was had wrapped his arms around his knees, rocking himself as he cried, gazing blindly out on to the LA night.

Wesley did though. He had brought a file for Angel to review and had planned to leave it on Angel's desk before he left for the evening. That plan left him as soon as he saw the state of his friend. Wes knew that he would kill for his friends but he had never wanted to as much as he did then. Angel, the man that he saw as their Atlas, was broken; the world had collapsed on him. He moved towards the crumpled figure.

"Angel."

There was no response. No reaction at all.

"Angel?" He reached his hand out and was shocked when the vampire just melted into him, seeking out all the comfort that a human body could give. Wes, not knowing what else to do, merely held on to him and let Angel cry.

After about half an hour, Angel's sobs subsided but he made no effort to move from Wes' arms. He felt safe again.

"We need to talk Angel; you need to tell me what's going on."

Wes didn't loosen his arms. He kept his voice soothing and a hand ran through Angel's hair. He didn't care how this looked, his friend needed comfort and he was willing to give it. He had never noticed until this point that Angel received very little physical comfort. He didn't get the casual touches that they all gave one another. He wasn't included in Gunn's complex handshakes or Fred's spontaneous hugs. When was the last time that any of them had touched him willingly and not out of necessity? When had they made Angel into a figure that was totally sexless and made of stone and not flesh and blood? He felt his guilt roll around in his gut and anxiously awaited Angel's response.

"Not here." Angel disentangled himself from Wesley and pulled himself to his feet. "Give me ten minutes."

He disappeared up to the penthouse. True to his word, he returned in ten minutes, showered, and changed into a pair of baggy jeans and a black wool jumper. These were comfort clothes. He held a book in his hands. He motioned for Wesley to follow him down to the motor pool.

Wes was shocked when they pulled up next to the Hyperion, more so when he felt the many protective wards that had been cast over the place. He raised an enquiring eyebrow. Angel merely shrugged and responded, "Thought we might need a bolt hole one day. Nothing can get in here without our invitation. Wolfram and Hart have nothing to do with it so we're safe here."

Angel began to move through the quiet lobby, turning on a few lights. He went into what had once been Wes' office and sought out an old bottle of whisky he had hidden there. There were no glasses.

He took a swift swig and handed the bottle to Wesley. "Guess you wouldn't believe me if I told you that I was all better now." Wes didn't bother to shake his head " he just raised an eyebrow. Angel took another gulp of the amber fluid. "Thought not."

"What's happened Angel? Is this about Spike?" Wesley was going to kill the peroxide cockroach if the answer was yes.

"Yes, no, all of the above. Oh god Wes, I don't know what to do anymore."

Tears appeared again but Angel refused to let them fall. He was tired of crying, tired of feeling weak, he had to build up those walls again. The only way to do that was to talk to someone. Wes was the only one he trusted.

"Angel, just tell me what is wrong and then we'll know how to fix it."

"Don't think that we can Wes, think that it's too late this time. Just listen and don't interrupt ok?" He waited for Wes to nod and took another deep drink. This was uncomfortably like the night he had confessed all to Spike.

"When I told you all about my dreams, I left out something. I left out Spike, well William. One night he found me after the Master had had me and he decided that he wanted me too. I don't know why, but I just let him. He couldn't have forced me to do anything, he wasn't strong enough. I guess that I just wanted to feel something besides the pain. I wanted someone to make it all about me. William had always been so gentle. He treated Dru like she was a China doll and I think that I hoped that he could do the same for me. Give me the pleasure that was missing in my life. But he couldn't. He was too consumed by the blood lust.

He did though a hundred years later. It was how our relationship began. He loved me. I told him what had happened and he loved me. He made it all about me. He promised to look after me and I believed him. I trusted him to claim me and look after me. We agreed at work that it would be as it always was, but once we were in the penthouse it was us and he was in charge. I loved it. I could let go, I was so tired of being the strong one. Of making decisions that could get my friends killed. Of dealing with the scum that we called clients. Of losing the people I love. He let me break and then helped me to build up again.

It was so good, Wes. I had never felt so loved or safe ever. I knew that I could do this thing with Wolfram and Hart, as long as I had him. But they came here for him. And he has gone to them so willingly that he couldn't have ever loved me. He told me that we were never going to be a secret that he couldn't be a secret again. But I am his secret now, and he's never going to tell. He went back to her and he just forgot about me. And it hurts so much. I haven't felt this level of betrayal before, it's like I was nothing to him.

The night they arrived he didn't come home. He hasn't been home since they arrived and my nightmares are back. He had kept them away and now there back. I haven't slept since then, funny really, there was a time that Spike was driving me insane and now I'm been driven insane without him."

Angel gave a harsh, forced bark of laughter and stared at the bottle in his hand. Wes wanted to say something or stake Spike but he didn't want Angel to clam up. Angel hardly ever shared his feelings and the fact that he was sharing so much meant that he was in a lot of pain. Wes couldn't help the small bubble of pride that he felt when he realised that Angel trusted him enough to open up. He, unlike Spike, had no intention of betraying that trust. His heart broke for his friend but he kept quiet and waited for Angel to continue on his own.

"It wouldn't have been so bad you know, I could have handled the dreams before but now... it's like Spike has stripped me of the armour that I am so used to wearing and I have nothing to protect me from the world anymore. I got so used to him helping me put it all back together that I can't do it on my own. And you know the saying that bad things come in threes? Well it's true.

The other night, when you found me on the penthouse floor covered in blood? Well I lied, I hadn't run into a demon, I had gone hunting for it."

He raised sad chocolate eyes to Wesley's face and Wes felt the pieces of his heart shatter at the despair he saw in them. He was beginning to think that he might not be able to put Angel back together after all. Angel's voice was now little more than a husky whisper, as if he feared saying it out loud.

"I'm having visions Wes. Cordy gave me the visions. Oh god it hurts. She never said how much it hurt. The girl I had to save, I felt what would happen to her if I didn't manage to save her. Being gutted by a letzug is nothing compared to the migraine that comes with a vision. She was so scared and in so much pain and my head felt like it was going to explode."

"Good Lord! Angel you should have told us that earlier! Are you ok? Of course not... I'm sorry; I just wasn't expecting this..."

Wesley was in a spin. Angel had just turned his world upside down. In a way he was pleased that Angel was having visions as it meant that the Power's hadn't abandoned them. But at the same time he knew that Angel didn't need this, not now. He remembered what Cordelia had said about her out of body experience; that they had driven Angel mad and he feared that this would be the very real outcome, especially with the way that Angel's life was going at the moment.

"They scare me Wes. I don't know what to do. How did she cope with them?"

"I think she coped with them because she was Cordelia. She wouldn't let anything beat her, especially not when someone she loved was at stake. Remember Angel, visions can only be passed on through love. Cordelia loved you very much, and this is the proof."

He hoped that these words would comfort Angel but they only caused a slew of tears to be unleashed. He guessed that Angel had never needed proof of Cordelia's love. He would have rather had her any day than proof of her love. Wes watched as his friend grieved for Cordy and wiped his own tears away. She had been gone over a month, in a coma for nine months and yet she still hadn't left them. Gradually Angel pulled himself back together and smiled at Wes, acknowledging that they both missed the girl that they had been so proud of.

"I think that there is something wrong with my visions. You know that Cordy had reruns " her hangovers? Well I have something like that, but it's different. Its flashes of things that will happen, like déjà vu but it is more specific. I know what people will say or do or if a glass will be knocked over... they're like mini-visions without the pain. Only the urgent ones have pain."

He waited for Wes to respond, watching as the Watcher mulled things over. His intelligent blue eyes still shone with tears but they were now focused on a task. Angel already felt better. He had missed being able to talk to Wes like this, it had been too long and there had been too much bad blood between them. Now not even that was stopping him talking to the Englishman. Sometimes he felt as though Wes was his only friend. He was always there to steer Angel right. He was what kept Angel on the path.

"Maybe, your visions are the real thing. You see the future really, like a true Seer. Perhaps that's what drove the other you mad? You weren't able to ignore the visions. I'll check my books and find a way to contact the Powers, a conduit of some kind. Other than that, I can't think of any reason for you to fear your visions. Unless something malevolent comes to light I think that we should follow them as we did with Cordelia. I will look into them though I promise."

Angel gave Wes a relieved smile and took another swig of his whisky. He had to tell him about Gabriel and trust him to advise him correctly. Wes knew what it was to think with his heart and think with his head. Angel just didn't know how to begin. For a while he just sat and watched the early morning sunlight creep into the garden and Wes let him knowing that there was more to be said.

"I think that I am going to betray you all."

That wasn't what Wes had wanted or expected to hear. He frowned and focused on Angel's face. He was pale and drawn and he looked frightened. Wes hadn't ever seen the expression on Angel's face before, but he guessed that was what it was.

"All the Slayers that have died... it was my fault. Gabe was looking for me. I should have figured it out when I heard the name. I knew that something felt familiar about the entire thing but I couldn't tell what. It wasn't until Giles confirmed the locations of the killings that it all clicked. Gabe is my Gabriel."

"He's your Childe?"

They had coped with Angel's psychotic family before, they would manage again. He wasn't too worried. Angel knowing the vampire meant that they now had an advantage.

"No. Wes, he was my lover."

He saw the blue eyes open in shock and the mask of neutrality settle on Wes' face but he knew that there was a mix of fear, curiosity and worry under that mask. He couldn't look Wes in the eye any more and moved away from the sofa they were on. He went out into the garden to sit under the covering. Wes followed him a little while later, a new bottle of Bushmill's in one hand, the book in the other. Angel relieved Wes of the book and flipped through the pages until he found what he was looking for. He turned the book to Wes.

On the page was a sketch of an attractive man. He seemed to have an almost hypnotic quality. The sketch had obviously been drawn a long time ago and with a lot of affection. Angel turned the book back and traced his fingers over the ink lines.

"I had only been a vampire for seven years when I met him. I wasn't yet a real monster, I had slaughtered my village, but I wasn't the depraved creature that I became. I was in Paris, away from Darla for the first time and having the time of my life. I was free. I hated the Order, it was just more rules, but it was worse than that. They owned me and I had promised myself that no one was ever going to own me again. So I decided that I would not return to Darla. I decided that I would remain in Paris and then move to where I wanted. That I'd see the world, see and learn about everything that I could " I'd never had the chance to before. My father thought that my interest in art and history, limited as they were, were unbecoming his son. But now I was free of him and of the Order.

I loved Paris, it was alive. I spent my first week wandering around and just basking in my new freedom. Then one night I was attacked by a group of minions. I was stronger than they were but there were too many for me to handle. One of them knocked me out and when I came to I was with Gabriel. He'd been following me all that time and took the vampires out for daring to touch what he saw as his. I was scared of him at first, I could feel his power, but he was so kind to me Wes. For the first time someone was actually kind to me. He was from Paris and he showed me around, told me things that I wouldn't have known before. He took me to the Notre Dame, the Sacre Coeur, and the palace at Versailles " all the time telling me their history.

When my month was up I told him that I didn't want to go back to Darla and he offered to take me to the Loire, show me the crumbling châteaux and where Da Vinci had worked and I was so eager to be away from the Order of Aurelius that I didn't think twice. I would have followed him to the ends of the earth."

Angel paused and glanced at Wes. The morning sun was still creeping into the garden but even though it hadn't yet got anywhere near the covered area, Wes still seemed to glow in the morning light. He had a confused look in his eyes, one that Angel could easily read and answer.

"Don't believe everything that you were taught as a Watcher Wes, remember that the world is never black and white. Do you honestly think that there is nothing left of the human host once the vampire moves in?"

"Well, of course there are lingering memories but the soul, the part that is human has gone Angel. A fact that you are only too aware of."

"In a way you're right and in a way you're very wrong. A little part of the soul does remain Wes, it's what allows vampires to remember being human, to form the familial attachments that they do. Darla once told me that the same love would infect my heart even though it no longer beat and she was right. When I met Gabriel there was still a small part of Liam left in me. That part loved Gabriel intensely. I was truly in love for the first time in my life. I was with him a year and he took me everywhere that I wanted to go."

"The places the Slayers have died in." Wes was beginning to get the frightening feeling that the deaths of Slayers wasn't the end or the beginning of what was going on here. Angel was the reason and Gabriel was obviously here for Angel.

"Yeah. The first night that I sat down with the file I thought that there was something familiar but I couldn't work out what. I don't know what triggered it at the meeting but I realised that they were the places that we had visited and the order that we went there. He was sending me a message."

"About what Angel? Surely he knows about your soul."

"He knows everything about me Wes. He made me. Angelus was created out of the grief of losing Gabriel. I woke up one evening and he was gone. I waited a month and he didn't come back. I had practically starved myself refusing to leave the house in case he came back so when Luke, the Master's other Childe found me I was too weak to fight back. I never got another chance to leave the Order after that until my soul.

That was main reason that the Master took me the first time. He could smell Gabriel all over me and said that I needed to know who I belonged to. I became a monster because I couldn't control anything else in my life. Liam died when I lost Gabriel and I needed the monster to survive what was to come."

Angel couldn't carry on. It hurt to think of that time in his life. At the time it had seemed bad but he had had no soul. Now it felt black and sticky. It felt like it was clawing and oozing all over him. Silent tears tracked down his face but somehow he felt peaceful. Unloading this huge part of his past on to Wes, who had merely listened and not judged (yet) made him feel lighter. He felt a small part of his soul heal. His darkest days didn't seem that dark now that he was sharing them with another person in the warm morning light.

Wes didn't know what to say. He knew that Angelus had been a monster without compare but he would never have guessed that heartache and fear had been the causes. Everyday he learnt that he knew very little of the creatures that he was supposed to be an expert of. He really shouldn't have been surprised that vampires could love; they were the closest of all demons to humans. At times it was almost like they were the next stage in human evolution or the missing link between humans and animals. The demon thing barely came into it. He guessed, and rightly so, that demon emotions were more heightened than a humans, that love was obsessive and all encompassing and hardly recognisable as human love. The thought of that worried him though. Obsessions didn't go away. They festered. Vampires were eternal so wasn't it feasible that their loves did. He remembered James, the invincible vampire that had his heart cut out over Elizabeth and the way that Darla had been about Angel. What would Gabriel be like now that he had been separated from his love for two and a half centuries?

"Angel? Why... What does Gabriel want?"

"He wants me Wes."

He got the answer that he dreaded hearing. The thing that stopped his heart though was the wistful tone that he heard in Angel's voice. The sense of longing that made him fear that Gabriel wouldn't have to work to hard to achieve his aim. Angel had been broken under the pressure of circumstance and duty and Gabriel was a way out. Just as he had been so long ago.

"He wants me just like he wanted me all those years ago. There are things that I have to tell you about Gabriel, things that are more serious than him being old and my ex."

Angel paused. He felt as though he was betraying Gabriel but he had to tell Wes. He couldn't afford to lose his friends over this and the only way was to tell Wes the truth. No matter what he decided then, at least he wouldn't have lied.

"We weren't just lovers. He was going to make me his Childe. After about eight months he told me what he had decided he wanted to do the first time that he saw me. So we began to make our way back from Moscow. We were heading to Romania, the seat of his Order and his Sire's home. As I was the Childe of another Order he needed to involve his elders. There's a lot of politics between vampire Orders " they even have their own Council."

Wes couldn't help the disbelieving snort that escaped him. He just couldn't imagine vampires sitting around and discussing current events. Angel smiled the first real smile that Wes had seen from him in a long while.

"Hadn't you ever wondered why there were never any real vampire wars? Why humans are totally unaware of us despite the numbers? The Council keep the peace and all have to answer to it. Gabriel's Sire was a member of the Council which would have made everything easier but the Master got to him first and told him that Gabriel had taken me from my Sire. No one asked me. As far as the Council were concerned Gabriel was at fault and I had no say. Had we gotten to Gabriel's order earlier I wouldn't have had to go back to the Master and Darla."

Wes was fascinated. He had never known that there were so many levels to vampire society. He suddenly saw them as both very human and perhaps more so. They didn't have wars and yet were demons with no souls. The obvious contradiction made very little sense to Wes. Something though really didn't make sense. He may know little of this real vampire society but he knew that the Order of Aurelius was powerful. Even now with the Master dead.

"Angel? The Order of Aurelius is one of the most powerful demonic groups in existence. How could Gabriel's Sire stop them taking you back? From what I know, if the Master wanted something he inevitably got it. Darla wanted you back and you have said before that you were her favourite and she was the Master's. How could they have stood in the way of that?"

"They were the Order of Dagon."

Wes dropped the bottle of whisky in surprise. He had never expected Angel to come out with that. Now he knew why Angel was so nervous about talking to them. About them trying to face Gabriel. If the stories that he had heard about the Order of Dagon were true then the Slayers were in a lot of danger and all that stood in the way of that was a very distressed Angel. The one individual that they wanted nothing to do with.

"Angel, the Order of Dagon is a myth. It has to be. The very first vampires? Please tell me that this is a joke!"

"No joke. Sorry."

"But... Good Lord! Angel do you realise how serious this is? From what I have heard you are the only thing standing in the way of the destruction of all the Slayers because I doubt that he is just going to walk away from this! He still wants you as his Childe doesn't he? He knows Spike has claimed you and..." The truth hit Wes like a speeding freight train. "He's here to take back his property! He knew that the best way to get your attention would be to attack the Slayer line but he couldn't attack Buffy or the Scoobies because that would hurt you and defeat his purpose! We've walked right into his trap."

Angel didn't need to answer. His deep brown eyes told Wes that he was exactly right, that Gabriel's good will was the only thing stopping him raining down hell on them all. His love for Angel was what was keeping them safe, although he doubted that Spike would be safe if Gabriel knew how hurt Angel was. There was only one thing that Wes needed to know before he decided what to do. It was quite clear to him that not only was Angel incapable of making this decision himself but that he didn't want to. He wanted Wes to make it for him. He couldn't kill Gabriel, just as he couldn't kill Cordelia.

"Have you spoken to him?"

Angel nodded. Wes felt like the reprimanding father but he needed all the information that he could get.

"He wants you back?"

Another nod. Angel wouldn't meet his eyes anymore. The brave soul that had poured his heart out to Wes over the past few hours had vanished and left a shy and very sad boy in his place.

"Does his Order agree with his wishes?"

A shrug. At least it was the truth.

"Do you want to go with him Angel?"

The absence of an answer, verbal or physical, told Wes more than any real response would have. Angel wanted to go. Angel was so hurt by life that he actually wanted to leave it all behind and go with Gabriel. He wanted the life that he could have had and Wes couldn't find it within himself to begrudge him that. Angel needed someone to love him. Wes had hoped that Spike was the one for that job, but despite his promises he wasn't there for Angel now that he was needed. Angel was obviously hurting and Angel said that Spike had claimed him, yet Spike was unaware of all of this. He was caught up in his own life. Gabriel seemed to want to offer Angel more than that. Angel deserved more than that.

"Ok. Angel, I don't know what to do right now. I suggest that we both get some sleep; we'll stay here, and look at it all later. If we decide to we'll tell the others but I won't say anything without your permission. I promise."

Angel nodded mutely and gathered his sketchbook. Wes watched as he headed back inside. His shoulders were hunched and there were tear tracks on his face. His steps were slow and heavy and he never lifted his gaze from the picture on the paper. Wes' heart broke. If they had to force Angel to kill Gabriel, they would lose him. Watching Angel trudge up to bed he made his decision. He waited until Angel was asleep and then took a tranquiliser dart from the secret drawer in his/Angel's desk. He was glad that he hadn't cleared out his entire secret stash. He didn't need to creep into Angel's room; Angel was so deep in sleep that only the rumblings of an apocalypse would have woken him.

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