Feedback: gundream@hepcat.zzn.com Pretty please with sugar on top! There is no sadder sight than watching a fanfic
writer weep.

Rating: PG 15

Pairing: Spike/Angel

Spoilers: Small ones for season four of Buffy and Season 1 of Angel especially To Shanshu in LA, but nothing major.

Disclaimer: Only in my wettest dreams do I own Spike and Angel. They belong to the Lord Almighty Joss. Song lyrics are
from Mack the Knife and I'm a Fool to Want You, both by Frank Sinatra, which means that they do not belong to me
either. No money is being made off of this story, so don't waste your time with a lawsuit.

Summery: Spike came to Angel after the whole chip business. Angel allowed him to stay and after a night of drunken
debauchery had a rather vivid dream about him and Spike doing naughty things. When we left the boys, Angel had a bitch
of a hangover.

Author's Notes: Thanks again to the people who sent feedback on the last part. I do honestly believe that Spike would
be a Sinatra fan just so you know. Warning: I removed Cordelia from LA. She isn't dead or anything, just gone. This bit
contains some Angel angst, since that is what our brooding boy does best. And unfortunately this is unbeta-ed due to a
lack of spell check and parties willing to read the nonsensical rough drafts. Thoughts are in / / and lyrics are in : :
 
 
 

: ...Hey that shark has

pretty teeth dear

and he shows them

pearly whites

Just a Jack knife

has Mack Heath dear

And he keeps it way out of sight...:

Angel awoke to the sounds of singing and running water coming from the general direction of his bathroom, which were
sure signs of Spike taking a shower. His thoughts turned immediately to the younger vampire, naked under the scalding
streams of water, encased in the thick steam rising off of his body, the soap weaving lazy trails down the smooth
planes of his back, the muscles flexing under that soft skin as he shampooed his hair... Angel shook himself off of
that train of thought quickly.

/ Think of the mess. Think of the wet puddles and the sopping towels he leaves all over the floor. No more thoughts
with Spike naked in them. Think of Buffy. You love Buffy. Besides he's probably using the last of your hair gel. /
Satisfied that the last part had nipped any growing arousal in the bud, Angel tried to ignore the cheerful voice that
was still drifting out from the bathroom.

: ...When that shark bites

with his teeth dear

Scarlett billows

they begin to spread... :

The brunette vampire quickly threw on some clean clothes and made a speedy escape to take some fresh air on the roof.
He was tempted to patrol, but thought better of it.

Things had been slow case wise, and with Cordelia abandoning him after her non-stop vision, he no longer had his link
to the powers that be. She had tried to stay and deal with the situation, but after that last vision no more had come.
When an acting oppertunity in New York had come along she had jumped at it. Angel couldn't really fault her for
leaving. It was his destiny to fight evil and redeem himself, not her's, and in all honesty, she was a terrible
receptionist.

Outside a cool rain was falling in a light drizzle. He closed his eyes for a moment, hoping the rain would cleanse his
impure heart, rinse the thoughts of Spike from his mind, but the pollution of Los Angelas gave the rain a gritty
texture, allowing dirt and soot to seep its way through the cracks in clothing, running like fingers over skin and
infiltrating each pore, proving to Angel once and for al that he was an unclean thing, unworthy of purification.

There was no shiny white light of heaven calling to him from above, just a blonde with luminous skin beckoning him from
the shower. The snake was holding the proverbial apple out to him and Angel couldn't help but want to take a bite. He
wanted to pierce the pliant flesh and steal the crimson juices that would flow freely under his fangs, each ruby drop
bringing him closer to ecstasy as he made love to the lithe body of his childe.

His dual nature of soul and demon had given him trouble in the past, but it never seemed so close to the surface as
when his offspring was near. The demon cried out for the release it had felt so many years ago with William the Bloody,
the fighting, fucking, and even love that had consumed him in his time with the younger vampire. It was a seductive
past that Angel sometimes longed to return to, a life without guilt, a time when he was happy, but happiness meant the
release of the evil that lurked in his heart.

Cordelia had never understood that his "moment of true happiness" hadn't come from the sex, or even from the love he
felt for Buffy, but from the sudden lack of guilt he felt with her in his arms. He had been able to forget for a short
time that he was a cursed thing, doomed to a life of penance for his sins, and for just that moment feel that he
deserved the soft creature that was resting contentedly in his arms. Even as the beatific expression was crossing his
face, his soul was leaving for realms unknown.

Of course he realized now that he deserved no such happiness and he never would, regardless of what Wesley translated
from a prophecy. He very existence brought nothing but pain to the people foolish enough to call him a friend. Because
of him Doyle had died. Wesley and Cordelia had nearly suffered the same fate, and he didn't want to even think about
the havock he had caused in Buffy's life.

Even Spike had not missed out on any of the pleasure that resulted from attatchment to Angel. He had been mocked,
tortured, and dominated during the return of Angelus. He had lost the lover he had spent a century adoring. He had been
forced to help the Slayer to keep Angelus from sucking the world into Hell. Then there was the whole chip business,
which while Angel couldn't find a direct link, he was sure was his fault.

Now Spike was here, another temptation to abstain from.

A small crunch of footsteps alerted him to another presence on the roof. A young woman walked quietly out of the
shadows, her dark hair wet with rain and flying wildly in the sharp breeze that came up. She looked familiar as she got
closer, and Angel's memory tried to place her.

"The singer from the bar," he finally came up with.

She smiled briefly and went to lean against the low wall that surrounded the rooftop. "Jo," she said by way of an
introduction. "I was sent to find you, Angel."

"Sent by who," the vampire queried.

"The Powers That Be. I am here to guide you, to help you and your childe on the path you will follow."

"What does Spike have to do with my path?"

"He was sent to you, as I was, though not in the same way. His love and need for you brought him here, and your need
for him brought me here. Your soul has been secured, as your guilt has weakened you. You have lost your will to fight
by thinking that you cause nothing but pain. You are too valuable to loose, Angel." The girl pulled her coat closer
around her, shivering slightly in the cold and waiting for the reaction she knew was coming.

"My soul? It's permenant? I..Buffy?"

Jo shook her head. "You know already that you can't go back to her. Frankly, I don't even understand why you would want
to from what I've seen, but that is just me. What you had with Buffy is over. In your heart you know that. Anything
further than that, you can figure out on your own. I'm not here to play Cupid with your love life."

"So you get visions? Are you atoning for something?" Angel stared at the girl, who didn't even look old enough to have
a past to atone for. She couldn't have been much more than eighteen.

"We all have a past, Angel. They wouldn't have chosen us if we didn't. I suppose one must face the Devil, to know the
Light." She shivered even more in her leather pea coat, and hoped that the vampire would get the hint and take her
inside.

Angel was of course oblivious to Jo's discomfort, lost in his own thoughts which were shattered by the loud cough that
was sent in his direction.

"You aren't really catching the hints that the person who would rather not get hypothermia would like to continue this
conversation inside, are you."

Angel looked up for a moment, caught slightly off guard, before regaining his motor functions. He opened the door and
gestured with his hand for her to go inside, and lead the way down to his apartment.

/ I hope Spike is wearing some clothes. /

Luckily, Spike was dressed in his trademark black jeans and t-shirt when they quietly approached the living room. He
had made himself comfortable on the sofa and looked to be reading a magazine of some sort, humming quietly to himself.

Jo started singing softly behind him as Angel paused outside the door, recognizing the melody that drifted over.

:... I'm a fool to want you

I'm a fool to want you

To want a love

that can't be true

A love that's there for others too

I'm a fool to hold you

Such a fool to hold you

to seek a kiss not mine alone

to share a kiss the devil has known

Time and time again I said I'd leave you

Time and time again I went away

But then would come the time

when I would need you

and once again these words I'd have to say

Take me back I love you

pity me I need you

I know it's wrong

it must be wrong

but right or wrong I can't get along

Without you...:

Jo whispered in Angel's ear. "He has it really bad for you, he just won't admit it, and you've been too hung up on the
Slayer to notice. Men," she said with a note of disgust.

Spike glanced up when he felt someone watching him. "Where did you take off to?" The younger vampire then noticed the
dark haired singer from the previous standing next to his Sire. "Who's the chit?"

Jo plopped down on the sofa next to the blonde. "New Seer. I'm Jo."

"Spike." He gave her a quick nod before turning his eyes back to the older vampire, who just shrugged.

"She was sent by the Powers That Be to help us." Angel waited for the angry response that would be coming from his
Childe shortly and was not disappointed.

"Us? What do you mean us? You know I don't go in for your whole Batman routine, Peaches. I'm not helping you. I came
here to get this bleeding chip out of my head, not to become the Dark Avenger."

"Actually that would be him. You would be more of a Dark Avenger Lite, and you don't really have a choice, do you? You
can't kill anything but demons and you don't have anywhere else to go. So it's either stay here and help him out and
hope that he'll get his balls together and shag your cute ass or go out and get beaten by whatever human thinks you'd
be a good mugging victim, and left to fry when the sun comes up." Jo smirked at him. "Oh and you really need to redo
your nail polsih."

Spike was momentarily stunned into silence and waged a small internal battle deciding which was worse - poncing about
fighting the "Good Fight" or getting killed. Considering he was rather fond of life, or unlife as it were, the choice
wasn't much of one. / Bleeding Christ. I don't want to help the food. I am supposed to be snapping their necks, using
their entrails for a bloody jump rope, and...wait - did she just mention Angel, shagging and me in the same sentance?
How did she... / "Hold on a minute! There is no way in Hell that the Poof is going to get a leg over on me. I hate
him."

Angel tried to put his stealth skills to good use and fade into the wall, but wasn't having much luck. / See? You are
never going to have sex with Spike. He hates you, not that this revelation should come as any surprise, what with the
name calling, the torture, and all. /

Jo just grinned at the older vampire's obvious discomfort and turned back to the man sitting next to her. "Sure you do.
And that's why you two were kissing out on the street last night." She lit a cigarette. "You don't mind if I smoke do
you?"

"How did you know we were kissing in the street," Angel questioned.

"Well, I followed you two last night. Blondie's singing was loud enough to cover my pathetic attempts at trailing
someone. That's how I knew where your building was too. So much for those psychic powers huh?"

The girl frowned and took a drag on her cigarette, the cherry's glow casting odd shadows over her soft features, which
seemed to have lost their initial happiness. She quickly changed her face into a cheery mask and tapped her long blue
nails on her leg.

"Anyway, I think that is enough show and tell for this evening, so if you don't mind I am going to be heading home.
I'll be in tomorrow morning. Oh and could you two try to fuck while I'm gone? Too much unresolved sexual tension is bad
for a workplace." Jo got up off the couch and headed back for the door. "Night all," she said with a wink.

Spike and Angel stared after her in an uncomfortable silence. It was finally broken by Spike.

"What the hell was she running on about? Unresolved sexual tension?" / I don't fancy the poof. Although he does look
awfully cute soaking wet and all dirty. What the hell am I thinking? I hate the poof! Yeah right. You keep telling
yourself that. /

"I have no idea," the older vampire said as he joined his childe on the sofa, ignoring the damage his sopping clothes
were going to do to the leather. He leaned towards the blonde man, unconsiously inhaling the fresh scent of soap and
smoke that wafted lightly from Spike. / He smells nice. Why can't I just kiss him? Probably because the minute I do, he
is going to tackle me to the ground and start a fight that I am not in the mood for. The Seer, though, she said he
loved me. / He sat and watched the soft, pink lips which were...moving. / Okay he's saying something. What is he
saying? / "What were you saying?"

"I said, are you going to kiss me now or just stare at me with your gob hangin' open all night?" Spike gave his
confused Sire a wink. / That should throw the nonce off guard. Ha ha. He's looking at me like I just told him that the
Slayer's new boyfriend is a cross dressing dendropheliac! /

Angel's expression was a combination of complete disbelief and reluctant satisfaction when he finally leaned in and
captured the laughing mouth with his own.
 
 
 
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