Rating: NC-17
Pairing: S/A
Warning: This contains m/m slash. If this offends your sensitive nature, please avert your eyes.
Disclaimer: All things BtVS and AtS belong to Joss Whedon (my god), Mutant Enemy, etc. I own nothing, so please don't sue me. I just want to play with the yummy beings that Joss created.
Spoilers: Season 7 of Buffy and season 4 of AtS
Distribution: Shara Nesu's Place and Red's Soulmates. Everyone else, just ask. I'm generous.
Website: http://www.geocities.com/janet324@prodigy.net/FortheFaithful.html
Author's Notes: Set one year after "Chosen". You don't necessarily have to read 'Requiem' to follow this story, but I would recommend it.
Summery: Spike is dead and Angel has moved on.
The title comes from Shakespeare: "Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!" Hamlet, Prince of Denmark Act V, Scene II.
A huge thanks to my sis Stephanie who is betaing for me. You rock babe!
Thoughts indicated by <>
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~Part: 1~
October 1, 2004
Angel walked through the halls of the hospital, listening to the sounds of his heavy footfalls echoing through the empty corridors. He hated coming here. It reminded him of the fact that he was dead walking around in this place of healing.
Angel had just come from seeing Cordelia. He had decided not to see her again. Of course, he had said that the last three times he had come to see her. It was painful to look into the eyes of the women he once believed he loved and not see any spark of recognition.
Once she had woke up, it became painfully obvious that the Cordelia he knew was gone. When Jasmine was pulled from the very essence of the girls every cell, she took everything Cordelia ever knew with her. Cordelia couldn't remember anything. She had to relearn how to eat, walk and talk. Angel was at a loss of how to help her, so he used some of the resources available to him at Wolfram and Hart to get her the best help possible.
She was doing quite well in the special rehabilitation department of the hospital. She could walk over six feet without assistance and she was able to read at a fourth grade level. But she still didn't recognize Angel. And it had been over a year.
Sure, when he walked in the room, she smiled and called him by name, but she didn't know who he was, other than the man who came to visit her from time to time. Angel had held onto the hope that she would remember who he was for months until he finally gave up that hope. He still came to see her because he felt guilty. He felt as though he was abandoning her in the cold place, but to her it was home.
Cordy, no Delia, had insisted on staying. She was so different now. She decided she didn't want to be called Cordy, even though it was Angel's pet name for her. She insisted on being called Delia. She thought it fit her better. It seemed like she was becoming a completely different person right before Angel's eyes.
It had been an interesting year for the rest of the Angel Investigations crew as well. Everyone had settled into their roles at the former law firm quite well. Angel smiled as he thought about the good they had actually done. Of course, when you're working inside the belly of the beast, anything good would seem like a big deal.
The dark vampire paused as he walked by the hospital nursery. He didn't know why he continued to torture himself like this, but he loved to go and stand at the window and stare at the small bundles of humanity wrapped in blue and pink blankets. He brought his hand up and rested it on the glass, remembering what it felt like to hold Conner when he was small and helpless like these tiny creatures.
Angel stood for an extra moment, looking at the newborns, trying to decide whether or not to go to back to hotel tonight. He had his own apartment now, but the Hyperion still felt like home, full of harsh and painful memories.
He was glad that the Sunnydale crew had moved on. Most of the group had stayed for several months, trying to decide what to do with their lives. Giles took Willow and several of the new slayers to England to rebuild the Watcher's Council. Buffy took Dawn and moved to Cleveland to patrol the Hellmouth there. Xander, Andrew and Faith were still living in and around LA, doing their own things and helping out here and there.
Angel was surprised at the help the three hangers on had been. Faith helped fight the baddies that needed their asses kicked when she wasn't helping to train the slayers that stayed in LA. Andrew had found a job at a computer programming company, developing computer games based on his experiences in Sunnydale.
The oddest of the group was Xander. He had insisted on helping restore the hotel as payment for staying there. One day, Xander had taken in a young girl he had met on the streets and helped her get on her feet. Soon, one homeless kid turned into three and now Xander was running a shelter for runaways out of Angel's hotel. Angel was proud of him. Oddest of all, Xander was dating Fred. Angel would never understand it.
He sighed as he pulled himself away from the window, smiling as one of the nurses walked in, carrying the world's new resident. She smiled back and tilted the baby so the vampire could get a better look at the baby boy. Sudden memories of his own child shot through him and Angel shut his eyes to stave off the tears that threatened to fall. When he opened them again, the baby was laying peacefully in the bassinette and the nurse was gone.
The dark vampire turned and made his way down the hall. He realized that he was now in the pediatric wing of the hospital. Normally, he visited earlier in the evening and this area was filled with the sounds of children laughing and crying. But now, it seemed all the children were sleeping. The quiet seemed to wrap around him like a blanket.
Angel liked the quiet.
Suddenly he heard a tiny voice laughing. The sound brought a smile to the vampire's grim face. He stopped for a moment to listen to the lilting sound.
"Would you sing me a song?" the tiny voice asked her unseen guest. Angel imagined it would be the girl's mother or father since it was well past visiting hours.
"Not sure we have time, little one" a male voice answered.
<Her father> Angel thought. <And he's English.> It reminded him of Wesley or Giles.
"Did you do what I asked you to, luv?" the man continued.
"Yes, I kissed my daddy and mommy and told them I love them and not to worry 'bout me" she dutifully replied. Uncertainty filled her voice as she asked, "Do we have to leave tonight?"
"I'm sorry, pet, but we have to go tonight."
Angel felt panic rise in him. <Where was the man going to take the girl? Was he going to kidnap her?> The vampire decided to stay right where he was and make sure that the child would be alright.
"Just one more song, please" the young girl pleaded.
"Just one, Poppet" the male voice answered.
Angel had located the door and was standing just outside the room with his back to the wall. If he heard anything that sounded like the man was going to hurt her, he would be in there in an instant.
But Angel was frozen to the spot when he heard the man begin to sing.
"Early one morning, Just as the sun was rising, I heard a maid sing, In the valley below."
He couldn't believe it. That voice. It was the voice that had haunted his dreams for the past year. He heard it cursing him and loving him. He had even heard it singing this very song. But it couldn't be. He was dead.
Slowly, as the smooth baritone continued to lilt on the air towards him, Angel walked to the open door and stood, staring at the scene before him.
On the hospital bed laid a little girl. Too little for such a large bed. On the far side of the bed, a young woman sat in a chair with her head pillowed in her arms on the bed next to what was obviously her child. The young mother appeared to be fast asleep and completely unaware of the interaction between her child and the man singing so beautifully.
And then there was the man. He was sitting with his back to Angel, training all his attention on his young charge. He appeared to be wearing a fitted, long sleeved blue T-shirt and blue jeans. He had short curly sandy blonde hair. The man continued to sing, completely oblivious to Angel's presence.
<So it can't be Spike> Angel thought as he realized that if it had truly been his childe sitting there, they would have felt each other. <Besides, Spike is dead> the vampire reminded himself. <Right?> But that voice.
The girl turned and looked at Angel, confused by the large man standing just inside her door. "Wil?" she asked quietly. "Who's the big man in the door? Is he coming with us?"
The blonde stopped singing and turned to see who the child was referring to.
When he turned all the way around, Angel felt his entire world fall out from under him.
"Spike?" he whispered, desperate for the fantasy to be more than just a dream this time.
"Angel?" Spike gasped, a look of utter shock on his face. "Shit!"
~Part: 2~
After staring at each other for what seemed like hours, Spike was brought back to the situation by a tiny giggling voice.
"Wil said a bad word" the young girl sing-songed as she giggled at the blonde.
Spike scowled at Angel for a moment and then turned around to face the child in the bed.
"Katie" he said in a quiet, gentle voice. "I need to talk to the big man for just a minute, ok? Why don't you give your mummy some kisses while I go out in the hall?"
"Sure, Wil" the girl answered quickly, as she leaned down and began to rain tiny kisses down on her mother's hair.
Spike stood up quickly, grabbed Angel by the arm and dragged him out into the hallway. Once he was sure they were out of the little girl's earshot, he began to rant.
"What the bloody hell do you think you're doin'? You scared the poor bint and almost ruined things for me."
Angel simply stood and watched the blonde as he raged at him. He still couldn't believe that he was really there. Suddenly thrown from his stupor, Angel launched himself at the smaller man, enveloping him in a crushing hug.
"Spike" he whispered through the tears that came streaming down his face. Angel hadn't been that happy in months.
Completely caught off guard, Spike allowed the hug for a moment. He hadn't been touched for so long. All too quickly, however, he remembered that this was Angel and Angel hated him. Spike worked his hands up to the muscled chest, and with a burst of willpower, he pushed the taller man away from him.
Angel was shocked to find himself forced away from the blonde, but would not be denied. He made his way across the distance and grabbed the man by the shoulders. Quickly, he checked out the blonde with his hands and nose. Not finding any marks or injuries on his boy, he looked back up into Spike's eyes and asked, "How? They said you were dust?"
Spike looked into Angel's sad chocolate eyes and sighed. Seeing emotion in the eyes that always held such contempt for him was tearing out his heart.
"Can't do this right now, Angel" he said after swallowing the lump that had taken up residence in his throat. "I'm working. We'll do this later."
<Working?> Angel thought. "What are you doing, Spike?" he asked, the suspicion evident in his voice.
Spike smirked at the dark vampire. "Shoulda' known you'd never trust me. Look, mate, I'm here for a reason. A good reason and you can't be here. I'll come and see you tomorrow, alright? What time do you show up in that pretty little office of yours? Ten.eleven o'clock?"
Angel was surprised that Spike knew about his office, much less the hours he kept. He was sure no one had mentioned it to him before.the incident.
"Ten, normally" Angel replied after a moment.
"Right then" Spike answered quickly. He grabbed Angel by the arm again and ushered him toward the elevator at the end of the hall. "Consider it an appointment. I'll show up at ten and we'll have a chat. Now, you go and I'll see you tomorrow."
Angel sighed as Spike pushed the button and the elevator doors opened. He had so many questions, too many things left unsaid that he wanted out of the way now, but Spike was obviously not going to allow that to happen tonight. He stepped in and watched as the blonde walked back up the hall to the room they had just left.
Spike turned back to the elevator to make sure Angel left. As the door slid closed, Angel lifted his hand and gave his childe a small wave goodbye. Spike stood for an extra minute, just to make sure the elevator was indeed going down. He didn't trust Angel and he needed to know he was leaving. Seeing the buttons lighting up, indicating that the occupant was indeed going down, Spike turned and walked back into the small hospital room and to his young charge.
Angel waited until the elevator had moved down half a floor before pushing the stop button. Knowing his childe like he did, Angel was sure that Spike would be watching just to make sure he left. But the dark vampire was much too curious to simply wait until the next day to find out what was happening with Spike.
Once the elevator stopped, Angel pried open the doors and pulled himself up to the upper floor, sliding out onto the floor of the pediatric wing.
Finding the room his childe was still in, Angel peeked around the doorframe to make sure he hadn't been spotted. He noted that both Spike and Katie had returned to their previous positions and were talking quietly. Angel slipped in through the door undetected and hid in the many shadows of the room making sure he had an unobstructed view of the bed.
"Are you ready, luv?" Spike asked the little girl.
"I guess" she answered quietly. "Are you sure Baxter and Mema will be there?"
"I told you, Niblet" the blonde said softly. "I don't know for sure. I can't see that far."
"I hope so" Katie said brightly. "I miss my Mema."
"And I'm sure she misses you too" Spike said quietly. Angel thought he could hear tears in the man's voice.
Spike sighed and stood up next to the bed. "It's time, luv." He put out his hand and the young girl looked up at him with large brown eyes. Trustingly, she reached out and took his hand. Angel gasped as he watched the girl slip out of the bed and stand next to Spike. But when he looked, he could easily see that the girl also still lay in the bed.
As soon as she touched Spike's hand, the monitors in the room began to sound alarms and the young girl's mother woke up. She began to panic as the bells and whistles continued to go off around her. A moment later two nurses ran into the room and began to work on the child still lying in the bed. Angel was stunned to notice that no one even seemed to see the girl and the blonde man standing in the corner, watching with sad eyes.
The girl's mother began to scream her child's name, trying to get her to wake up. Angel's heart broke at the sound. He remembered calling Conner's name with the same amount of terror.
A doctor soon joined the crowd and began assessing the child. Soon all the monitors began to ring a single tone. No more chiming alarms to show the body's distress.
"I'm sorry" the doctor said to the mother who was now clutching her daughter's body to her breast and weeping for her loss.
Angel turned to see Spike and Katie watching the scene. The small girl tugged on the hand holding hers and Spike looked down. He nodded to her silently and they both turned to the blank wall behind them. Slowly, they began to walk towards it. Angel's mouth was agape as he watched them pass through it effortlessly.
He slid from the room undetected and ran to the adjoining room only to find it completely empty. Searching for the pair in vain, Angel sighed and walked to the elevator he had been in previously. Hitting the down button, he sighed and tried to process all the information he had. Now all he had to do was wait for Spike to show up tomorrow at ten.
It was going to be a long night.
~Part: 3~
Angel glanced at his watch for what seemed like the hundredth time that morning. It was only 9:55 but Angel thought he was going to start climbing the walls if Spike didn't show up soon.
He buzzed his secretary for the tenth time in the last twenty minutes to ask if anyone had shown up yet. She sounded extremely perturbed and told him no one had shown up yet and when his ten o'clock appointment showed up, she would make sure he knew immediately.
Angel sighed heavily as he paced the length of the office again. He had to do something to take his mind off the impending meeting with his childe. Angel decided to do the one thing he could spend hours doing everyday.
Hitting the button on his desk, the dark vampire sighed as the blinds opened to bathe the entire office in warm sunlight. He turned his face up into the pleasant rays and closed his eyes. After over two hundred and fifty years without it, one year of sunshine still hadn't lost its appeal.
With the exception of two days, one when he had the Gem of Amarra before he destroyed it and the other when he was made human from the blood of a Mora demon, Angel had spent his unlife living in the darkness. As much as he hated Wolfram and Hart, the vampire proof windows were definitely a blessing.
Angel breathed in deeply, reveling in the feeling of the warm sunlight soaking into his skin and warming his soul.
He was startled out of his reverie by someone clearing their throat. He spun around, embarrassed about being caught indulging in something that seemed so petty.
"Neat trick" Spike said, smiling widely at the dark vampire. He was sitting in the chair directly across the desk from Angel's large leather executive chair. "Special glass?"
"Yeah" Angel answered, dumbfounded that his childe had made it into the room without him knowing.
"You know" Spike smiled wickedly at Angel. He kicked back in the chair and propped his feet up on the expensive mahogany desk, crossing his feet at the ankles. "If you want to strip out of your kit and enjoy the sun proper like, I'll watch the door for you." He stuck his tongue out just barely out above his bottom lip and waggled his eyebrows.
Angel sighed. This was Spike, back in all his glory.
"No thanks Spike" he said, sitting in his 'power chair'. "But maybe later. I've been dying to do that."
"Knew you would" the blonde replied, losing his smile slightly. "How've you been?" he asked quietly.
Angel was automatically going to answer 'fine', but that was a lie and he didn't want to start out this conversation that way. Things weren't fine. In fact, they were the exact opposite of fine.
"That wasn't meant to be a brain teaser, luv" Spike teased even though he was concerned.
Angel chuckled at that. Trust Spike to make him laugh even when he was wallowing in his grief. "I've been working.surviving. I have a hundred questions, Spike. Where do I start?"
"What do you want to know?" the blonde asked as he sat up and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
<Where to start?> Angel wondered. "How about we start with how you got into my office without the secretary seeing you."
Spike sighed. This would be so much easier if his sire would just let him explain his way. But Spike knew Angel too well, and until he was ready to listen, Spike would just have to jump through his hoops.
"Didn't come in through the door" Spike answered cryptically.
It was Angel's turn to sigh. Spike was not going to make this easy for him. "Why not?"
"Don't need to" he gestured vaguely with his hands.
"What were you doing with the little girl?"
"My job" Spike answered nonchalantly as he placed his hands behind his head.
Angel was becoming very frustrated. He didn't want to push his childe but he had to know what was going on. "Spike" he growled lightly. "Are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on or do I have beat it out of you."
"Wow, Peaches" Spike smiled bitterly. "That must be a new record. I've only been here three minutes and you're already threatening to beat me. Even Angelus had a little more restraint than that."
Angel sighed. Spike was right. He was never going to be able to rebuild his relationship with Spike if he kept playing the role of the sire. "Ok, Spike" he said, placing his elbows on the desk in front of him and steepling his fingers under his chin. "Tell me. What happened?"
Spike was shocked. He honestly didn't believe that Angel would give in that easily, but he wasn't about to give it up the opportunity. "I died."
"Yeah" Angel said sadly. "I heard."
"You probably had a big party" the blonde snorted.
"Yeah, a wake" Angel said quietly staring down at his desk remembering the night he spent with Giles remember his dead childe. The same dead childe sitting in front of him.
Spike was a little surprised at the remark, but he didn't let it show. "I figured they told you."
"Even if they hadn't, I still knew" Angel whispered, remembering the feeling that tore through his body that proved to him through their blood link that his boy was gone.
"I burned up, Angel" he said quietly, staring deeply into the dark brown eyes he had missed so desperately. "The sun came through that damn amulet you brought and shot straight through my soul and then it burned me up." He smiled slightly. "Didn't hurt as bad as I thought I would."
Just the thought made Angel cringe. He couldn't image what his childe had been through. It broke his heart to think that he had to live with the memory of his death like that. He wanted to say something to make it easier for his boy, but decided to stay silent and let him finish his tale.
"It was weird" Spike said trying to come up a way to describe what had happened to him. "I went to this place. It wasn't heaven, but it sure wasn't hell. I could see things.people. But no one could hear me. I saw Buffy and Dawn. They stayed with you for a while, yeah?"
Angel nodded.
"I guess I was in what your Irish Catholic brain would consider purgatory" the blonde continued. "I did a lot of bad things, but I saved the world. I guess that counts for something in someone's book. So, no fire and brimstone for ol' Spike."
The thought made Angel smile. The idea of his childe in torment like he remembered from him time in hell was sometimes more than he could bear. Now that he knew that Spike had not suffered, he smiled.
"That's good to know" the dark vampire said.
The comment surprised him, but Spike continued. "Well, I floated around there for some time. I didn't know how long it had been. Time really doesn't have much meaning there, you know what I mean?"
Angel did know what he meant. He nodded slightly and gestured for Spike to continue.
"Anyway, so this guy shows up one day and offers me a job." Spike looked around the office as if he was trying to avoid Angel's gaze. "Tells me it's my chance for redemption. Its easy work and I can come and go as I please, as long as the job gets done. I can see the people I knew in my former life even. It was an offer I couldn't refuse."
Angel was practically on the edge of his seat. He was trying to figure out what was going on, but the truth continued to elude him. Spike obviously wasn't a vampire anymore. Angel's senses told him that. But he could tell he wasn't human either. Spike's tale was mesmerizing, but Angel needed to know what was going on. When Spike paused, he almost reached over to make him continue. Angel got control of himself and asked, "What did he offer you, Spike? What are you?"
Spike looked directly into his sire's eyes. He felt he could almost see the darker man's soul. After taking a deep breath he said, "I'm an angel."
Angel sat stunned with his mouth agape.
"I'm an angel of death."
~Part: 4~
Angel was so stunned he was speechless. And for Angel, that was pretty hard to do.
He had heard a lot of things from Spike. I love you. I hate you. Don't touch me. Please don't stop touching me. Every English and most Gaelic curse words Angel had ever heard, and some he hadn't.
But this. This was unexpected.
'I'm an angel' were the last words he ever expected to hear come out of Spike's mouth. Ok, that and 'Why Angel, you certainly have a fabulous taste in clothing', but this certainly ranked a close second. Followed closely by, 'I really like your hair'.
Spike snickered at his former sire.
"You know, Peaches" he said in between chuckles. "If you don't close that great gaping maw of yours, you'll start collecting flies."
Angel closed his mouth with an audible 'clink'. He shook his head to try and clear the hundreds of thoughts that were flying around in his head and focused on the blonde.
"You're the Angel of Death?" he asked, still slightly confused.
"No, ya' git" Spike snapped. "I didn't say I was THE Angel of Death, I said I was AN angel of death."
"There's a difference?" Angel asked still extremely confused.
"Of course there's a difference" Spike scoffed like Angel should know that important piece of information. "The big guy only goes out for the big names now a days. Celebrities, politicians, you know the sort. Sam said he was pissed he missed John Ritter. That bloke took everyone by surprise."
"The Angel of Death's name is Sam?" Now Angel had heard everything.
"Of course not" Spike practically yelled as he rolled his eyes. "The Angel of Death's name is Death. Sam is my boss."
"Oh" Angel said quietly. "Spike this all makes the kind of sense that is.not."
The blonde chuckled again. He must have been hanging around the Scoobies too much because he understood what his sire was saying. "If you'd listen you'd understand. Here's the deal. Death can't be everywhere, but there is death everywhere. So Sam recruits those of us who need a second chance to help. Everyone gets their own assignment. There's even someone who works with only supernatural deaths. You probably saw him when you died. He's a tall guy, balding, wearing glasses.he might have been carrying cheese. I don't know what's up the cheese thing, but, hey, to each his own."
Angel thought back to his turning and realized he did remember someone watching him and Darla. He didn't remember there being any cheese, but that didn't mean it wasn't the same guy.
"So what is your deal then?" Angel asked, curious why Spike was with the young girl the night before. "You help children?"
"No" Spike replied, looking down at his hands. He felt bad about the little girl, but it was his job. "I help people who need to pass, but won't."
"What do you mean?" the dark vampire asked, confused.
"Take Katie" Spike explained. "She was born with a congenital heart defect. No one thought she would live beyond a few years. Her parents spent a lot of time and money on her care. Her father eventually left, unable to take the stress of watching his daughter die. Only saw the chit on weekends. Katie should have passed two years ago, but she has been hanging on for her mum's sake. My job was to convince her to let go and pass on to the next life."
Angel sighed. The thought of having to convince people it was their time to die was heartbreaking. "It must be horrible" Angel whispered.
"It's not so bad" Spike said, placing his feet on the floor and leaning forward, looking into his sire's deep brown eyes. "Most people are going to a better place. I know Katie did."
"How do you know?" Angel asked. "Can you see what's beyond?"
"No" the blonde replied quickly. "None of us are able to see what happens after you die. We are merely the messengers delivering people to where we are told."
"So, Spike, why didn't you."
Angel's question was interrupted by an anxious young Englishman rushing into his office.
"Angel" Wesley said brightly, quickly striding into the room. "I understand we have a new client."
Angel looked at his friend with a look of confusion on his face.
"Your ten o'clock appointment?" Wesley prompted.
Angel looked anxiously over at the blonde who had moved from his chair to the desk to get a better view of the action. "It wasn't really a client, Wesley" the dark vampire explained as he turned to face the young man. "It's Spike."
Wesley got a strange look on as his face as he stared at Angel. "Spike" he said slowly, as if he didn't understand the word. "As in your childe Spike?"
"Yes, Wesley" Angel said, sounding like someone talking to a small child.
"Angel, Spike is dead."
"Spike died" Angel explained. "But he's here now." He gestured toward the blonde sitting on his desk.
"Oh Angel" the former watcher sighed as he looked to the vampire with pity in his eyes.
Angel was confused by his friend's reaction.
Spike got up from his perch on the desk to circle the human. When he was behind the young man, he looked at Angel and said, "He can't see me, luv."
"What do you mean he can't see you?" Angel asked.
"Is he here now?" Wesley asked, sounding condescending.
"Only the dead or dying can see me" Spike explained as he made faces at Wesley while he continued to circle him.
"Yes he's here now" Angel said to Wesley, then turned to Spike and asked, "So why can I see you?"
"Spike is gone, Angel, and all your wishing is not going to bring him back" the former watcher explained with compassion in his voice.
"Because you're already dead now, ain't ya'" Spike said, smiling as he walked back to the desk and settled on the edge.
"Oh" the dark vampire said, looking between the two men slowly.
"You have to let him go, Angel" Wesley said, stepping forward and placing his hand on the taller man's shoulder. "I've been in your room. I've seen the pictures you have of him on your wall."
"You have pictures of me on your wall?" Spike asked in awe. "You're such a poof."
"Shut up, Spike" he growled, before turning to Wesley. "Trust me Wesley, he's here."
"I know you want to believe that Angel, but he's gone. Turned to dust." The Englishman paused for a moment before pushing the issue. "I saw the portfolio in your bed."
"Wesley." Angel pleaded with the young man, hoping he would shut up so that he wouldn't embarrass him further.
"You kept my 'folio?" Spike asked quietly. He was in shock. He never suspected that Angel still had the pictures he had drawn of him all those years ago. It warmed his heart.
"Yes, I kept it" the vampire whispered, too embarrassed to look at either man.
"Angel" Wesley said, forcing the vampire to look at him. "This is not healthy. You have to let this go."
"Wesley, he's here" Angel said a little more forcefully than he intended. "He's not dead. He's.different."
"Then why can't I see him?" he pushed.
Angel turned to look at the blonde, silently asking for permission to tell his friend. Spike nodded minutely.
"Because he's an angel of death" Angel explained quietly.
"Spike's the Angel of Death?" Wesley asked incredulously.
"Bloody hell!" Spike exclaimed.
Angel put his face in his hands. He was sure he felt a headache coming on.
~Part: 5~
Angel took a deep breath to try and calm his nerves before he dropped his hands to look at the former watcher.
"He's not THE Angel of Death, Wesley" he explained. "He's An angel of death."
Wesley looked at the vampire with a confusion written on his face. "An angel of death?" he asked.
"Yes" Angel said exasperated. He ran his hands through his hair as he looked at his friend who obviously didn't believe him. He turned to look at Spike who was trying his best not to laugh at the situation. This was turning out better than the blonde had hoped.
While Angel's back was turned, Wesley pulled out his cell phone and quickly dialed the memorized number. "Fred?" he asked when the girl on the other end answered. "Could you come to Angel's office please? Now?"
Angel looked at his childe and begged, "Please Spike is there anything you can do that will keep Wes from thinking I'm insane?"
The blonde looked at the dark vampire with a sad smile. This was too much fun, but there was something he could do even though he didn't want to.
"Look Peaches" he started. "The rule is that only the dead or dying can see me, but I can make exceptions in certain cases. But it's risky."
"What do you mean by risky?" the older man asked.
"He can't touch me" he explained.
"Not a problem" Angel said quickly. He couldn't imagine why Wesley would want to touch Spike anyway, other than the obvious.
"It's not that simply, luv" Spike continued. "If I make myself manifest, he can't touch me at all. Not even brush up against me. If he does, he'll die."
Angel processed the information. It shouldn't be too hard to keep them separated.
"Ok" Angel agreed quietly.
"I'm serious" the blonde insisted. "This ain't like that terrible Beatty film where they can just find him another body to go into. Once I went into a pub to get a pint and this guy just brushed my elbow. Poor blighter died right there. He was so pissed, but rules are rules." He glared at the vampire. "No touching."
"I'll tell him." Angel turned around to see the Englishman watching him intently as he had his conversation with his unseen childe. "Wes" he started quietly. "Spike says he can make himself manifest, but you can't touch him in any way. If you touch him, you'll die instantly. I don't want you to even go near him. Understand?"
Wesley smiled at the dark vampire condescendingly. "I understand, Angel" he said with a small smile on his face.
Angel turned to the blonde and nodded. Spike took a deep breath and nodded back.
Wesley stood waiting. He honestly didn't believe that Angel's childe had indeed returned, but he was willing to see what the vampire saw. His jaw dropped open with awe as a figure began to materialize before his eyes.
He saw a young looking man with almost vampire pale skin. He had sandy blonde hair that had apparently grown out and still showing the platinum blonde at its tips. He was wearing a tight red T-shirt that showed every muscle and dip in the man's trim arms and chest. A pair of worn blue jeans were held up by a thick, metal studded belt and covered the top of his heavy boots. Wesley finally noticed the few accessories the man was sporting, a chunky bracelet, a watch with a simple leather band, several silver rings, and a pendant hung on a heavy gold chain. The last thing Wesley noticed was the piercing azure blue eyes.
"Spike?" he whispered, knowing this had to be the man he had heard about even though he had never met him.
Unknown to all three men, Fred had slipped into the room, answering Wesley's call. When she saw Angel and Wesley looking at the young blonde standing on the other side of the room, she assumed he was a client and walked over to greet him.
"Hi, I'm Fred" she said as she made her way past the former watcher and stuck out her hand.
Wesley tried to grab the girl as she strode past, but he missed her. Spike saw the girl and jumped behind Angel's hulking form, trying to keep her away from him. Angel grasped her arm just as she was reaching for the blonde.
"Fred" he said a little harsher than he expected. "This is Spike. You can't touch him."
"Why?" she asked.
"He an angel" Wesley explained.
Angel smiled at his friend, happy that he had excepted what Angel had told him.
"Cool" Fred said simply. "So why can't I touch him."
"I'm an angel of death, luv" Spike explained, speaking for the first time since manifesting himself in this office.
"Oh" the young woman replied frowning. "So you take people to the afterlife?"
"See" Spike yelled pointing to the Texan. "Someone around here can figure things out. Thank you, pet." He flashed a brilliant smile at her which she returned whole heartedly.
"So if you're an angel, do you have wings?" she asked.
Angel and Wesley both turned to Spike to await his answer.
Spike frowned slightly and answered, "I don't know. Never thought about it before."
"How do you get around?" Angel asked.
"Just think about where I need to be and I'm there" the blonde answered with a shrug.
"Sort of like a Vengeance Demon's teleportation ability?" the former watcher asked.
"Yeah, I guess" Spike offered. "What if I do have wings?" The thought both scared and excited him.
"Well, let's see" Angel said as he walked behind his childe. He reached over and pulled up the back of his shirt. He gasped as he saw the tempting musculature of the man's back. Reaching up between the shoulder blades, Angel ran a finger along the spine, looking for a sign of any abnormality. As he pressed against the skin directly next to the shoulder blade, he felt the flesh give way.
Angel gasped at the feel of the skin parting under his fingers. "Did that hurt?" he asked Spike with concern in his voice.
"Nah" Spike replied. "Kinda tickled though. Is there something there?"
"Yeah" Angel said as he walked around to stand in front of the blonde. "I wonder what it is."
"Don't know" the blonde shrugged. "Let's see." He closed his eyes and concentrated on the tingling he felt when Angel pushed against the skin. He felt something move inside his back so he focused on the feeling and tried to flex the muscles he assumed were involved with the tingling. Suddenly, he felt a pulling and his body shuddered in a strange new form of release. His head flung back at the pleasure and he suddenly felt lighter than he had his whole life.
The three observers stood in shock. As they watched Spike strain and concentrate, they saw a small movement behind him until suddenly, with a fluttering, two beautiful feathered wings spread out behind the blonde. The wings matched the color of the former vampire's hair, sandy blonde with tips of almost white.
"Wow" Fred whispered.
"Remarkable" Wesley agreed.
Angel felt tears that threatened to fall as he gasped, "Beautiful".
~Part: 6~
Spike opened his eyes slowly and looked at the three people gaping at him. He turned his head to see what they were staring at. He practically fell over when he saw the feathery appendages behind him.
"Bugger" he whispered with a slight smile on his face. He turned back to look at the other people in the room. He concentrated on moving the muscles he thought might be associated with the wings and found himself sprawled on the floor. He stood slowly and smirked.
"Guess I need to get used to 'em first, yeah?" he said, winking at his former sire.
"I suppose there is a certain finesse required in using something of that magnitude" Wesley said still staring at the beautiful creature in awe.
Angel stepped closer to the blonde and tentatively reached out a hand to feel the feathery wings, but stopped short. He looked into the deep blue eyes and asked, "May I?"
Spike simply nodded and waited in anticipation as the dark vampire reached out and ran a single finger down a soft feather. The blonde angel moaned at the tender touch.
"Good?" Angel asked.
Spike simply nodded, too entranced by the feeling to trust his voice. He flexed his muscles and felt the wings wrap protectively around his body. He smiled when he felt Angel stroke the flesh between his wings and then ran his hands up the edges, caressing the soft feathers.
Fred and Wesley looked at each other and suddenly felt they were intruding on something very personal. The former watcher cleared his throat, trying to attract the men's attention.
Angel was entranced by the beauty of the man before him. He retained the hard, tight muscles but this addition was breathtaking, even for a creature that had no need for breath. The vampire wanted nothing more than to rub his face in the soft appendages. He was suddenly brought back to the present by the sound of someone clearing their throat in an obvious attempt to gain his attention.
As much as he hated to do so, Angel turned his attention from Spike to the humans in the room with them.
Once Wesley had his boss's attention, he said, "Fred and I are going to go now, if you don't mind Angel." The Englishman turned to leave the room but stopped and said over his shoulder, "Don't forget, we have a meeting at 1:00."
"I won't, Wes" Angel called back as the man continued out of the office. "Thank you."
Fred started to leave, but stopped and turned toward the two men watching her. "Don't you think it's kinda funny?" she asked innocuously. "Your name is Angel and you have a demon and now your childe that you made a demon is an angel. Hmm." She snorted what could have been considered a laugh and walked out.
Spike and Angel looked at each other as they considered the odd statement the young woman made. Then they both burst out in laughter.
"That is pretty funny" Spike said, still sputtering.
"I hadn't thought of that" Angel said as he tried to catch his unneeded breath. He turned back to the blonde and smiled. "That's the first good laugh I've had in a really long time."
As their laughter died down, both men stopped to look at each other. The silence that descended around them was overly long and oppressive. Angel had so much that he wanted to say but he didn't know where to start. By the time he worked up the courage to speak, Spike had already said something and was obviously waiting for the vampire's response.
"I'm sorry" Angel said. "What was that?"
"I said, I should get going" Spike repeated as he looked over at the wings surrounded his head. "I wonder how I get this things back in."
The blonde concentrated and suddenly the wings folded up against the angel's back and disappeared into the flesh of his back. Angel gasped as he watched the display, still amazed that his childe had wings.
Once the angelic appendages were gone, Angel realized what Spike had said. "You're leaving?" he asked with just a little bit of panic in his voice.
"Yeah, mate" Spike said as he straightened his shirt.
"Why?" the dark vampire asked.
"Why not?" Spike shot back at the man. <What is he getting at?> the blonde wondered.
"I thought we could talk or something" Angel suggested.
He was not prepared for the laughter that came from Spike. The blonde was almost doubled over he was laughing so hard. "What? Like we're friends?" he asked between guffaws. "You hated me Angel, remember? What changed your high and mighty opinion of me?"
"You died" the vampire whispered as he looked down at his feet.
"So that's it, eh" the blonde said, suddenly infuriated. "When I'm alive, Spike can just go fuck himself, but once he's dead it's all 'I missed you Spike' and 'let's be buddies'. Well, fuck you Angel. I don't need your pity."
Angel felt the world fall out from under him. He had just found Spike and now he was going to lose him again. "Please Spike" he called after the retreating form. "I'm sorry. Don't' leave."
The blonde stopped for a moment. Without turning around he whispered, "Why shouldn't I?" He knew it was too quiet for anyone but Angel to hear but he wanted to see if his former sire would answer him or let it drop.
"Because I missed you" Angel answered back, only slightly louder. He wondered how good the angel's hearing was. "And I'm so lonely."
Spike remained frozen to the spot. He knew the feeling he heard in his sire's voice intimately. Since his second death, he had been unable to talk or touch anyone that he hadn't come to kill until Angel found him. Was he really ready to give that up, but was he ready to open himself up to the man again? <I don't know> he decided.
Slowly he turned around and pinned the brunette with a stare. After a long moment he said, "I gotta go meet with Sam but maybe I'll stop by later, yeah? You'll be the hotel later?"
Angel felt a weight melt off his heart at the blonde's words. "Yeah, I have to go and talk to Xander tonight. I'll be there sometime after eight."
"Maybe I'll see you then" Spike said with a smile before he winked and faded from the vampire's sight.
"Yeah" Angel whispered to the empty room as he wiped the unshed tears from the corner of his eyes with the back of his shaky hand
~Part: 7~
Spike materialized in Angel's room in the Hyperion and tried to calm his nerves. Teleporting still made him a little dizzy and disoriented. He just hated that feeling.
He heard the sound of water running and knew that Angel was taking a shower. He contemplated taking a peek, but decided against it.
As he sat down on the edge of the bed, he took a quick look around and smiled at the differences he saw in one of the places his sire called home. As he took in the surroundings, he noticed the small touches that Angel had put up to make this place his own.
The thing that held his attention was the collection of pictures stuck to the wall behind Angel's bed. As he got closer, he realized that he recognized some of them. They were of him. Pictures of him from when he was William, just before and after he was turned, one of him with Dru and Darla getting ready to go to the Weatherford Ball all those years ago and several pictures of him nude. He smiled at the memories that went with those last pictures, especially the one of him in 'his' chair.
He looked down at the portfolio lying on the bed like it belonged there. He smiled sadly at it.
As he took in each picture, he let the memories pour over him, both good and bad. When he came to one picture, he gasped, surprised at the image. It was of him and Xander the night of Joyce's funeral. He had no idea that Angel had been there, but the proof was right there in front of him.
Suddenly, he realized that the water had been turned off. He felt more than heard Angel enter the bedroom and smiled as he reached up and traced the image with a single finger.
"Didn't know you were there that night" he said softly, not bothering to turn and look at the vampire.
Angel had walked out of the bathroom rubbing at his wet hair with a large towel. He stopped short when he felt someone was in the room with him. The vampire smiled when he saw Spike until he realized what he was doing. Angel never expected the blonde to just show up in his room so he hadn't bothered to take the pictures down. Now he wished he had done it anyway. Having Spike know that Angel was thinking about him that way embarrassed him.
"Yeah" Angel replied softly as he headed toward his closet to find something to wear. "I was heading back to LA when I heard you and Xander talking. I thought I would stick around and make sure everything was alright." He was trying to sound nonchalant, but didn't think he was pulling it off very well.
"Have a nice wank?" Spike asked as he slowly turned around, smiling from ear to ear.
Angel dug his head farther into the closet and murmured, "Yeah."
The blonde suppressed a chuckle as he enjoyed the view of his sire's muscular back. Angel quickly pulled on a pair of charcoal trousers after removing the towel he had tied around his waist. Spike drew in a quiet gasp when the tight backside was briefly exposed to his gaze.
Angel turned around as he pulled on a dark blue sweater, surprised to see his boy staring at him so intently. "Didn't expect you to show up here" he said conversationally.
"Said I would didn't I?" the blonde answered.
"Well, I didn't expect you to just show up in my bedroom, Spike" he said with a grin as he approached the side of the bed the angel was standing on.
"Didn't use to bother you" he said smiling as he sat back down on the bed.
"I didn't say it bothered me" Angel said returning the smile and joining the blonde on the bed.
They sat, staring at each other for a few moments before Spike spoke. "You know, I think it's kinda funny."
"What's that?" Angel asked.
"You have three places to sleep in and the one you spend the least amount of time in is the one that looks the most like a home."
Angel looked at the blonde for a few moments before he dropped his head, intently studying his bare feet. "The penthouse comes with the whole 'Wolfram and Hart' deal, so I got the apartment as a place that I could call my own. But for some reason I just couldn't let this place go, even with all the kids running around here. It still feels like home."
"Why'd you keep the pictures?" Spike asked, not waiting for the topic to come around.
Angel smiled as he lifted his gaze to look into the azure blue eyes. "I guess I missed you" he said after a moment.
Spike smiled and shrugged before motioning toward the picture of him and Xander again. "Ever show that to the whelp or his girl?"
"Nope" the dark vampire said emphatically as he shook his head. "And I don't plan to, so don't say anything to either one of them, Spike."
The blonde simply chuckled at the older man. "You spoil all my fun" he mock pouted before standing. "So, what did you want to do, luv?"
"I thought we could talk" Angel said as he rose. "But maybe you would like to go and talk to Xander first."
Spike thought it over for several long moments. He didn't know if he really wanted to see Xander or not. He was part of something Spike had left behind when he became a pile of dust in the pit that was once known as Sunnydale. But if he was honest with himself, he would have to admit he would like to talk to the boy. He had checked in on him a few times, but he had never made him manifest. They were never really friends, but at the end Spike admired the boy.
He turned to Angel and nodded his consent. Angel quickly put on his of socks and shoes and then led Spike downstairs. As they walked, Angel explained to Spike what was happening in the hotel.
"We actually have a permit now to run a shelter for runaway kids" he continued as they made their way down the stairs and into the lobby. "Xander runs the place and Wolfram and Hart takes care of the funding."
"I see you finally lost it and starting talking to yourself, eh Deadboy" Xander said cheerfully as he walked into the lobby from the kitchen carrying a rather large sandwich and a soda.
Angel shook his head and turned toward the blonde. "Do you mind?" he asked.
Spike chuckled. "Are you kidding?" he asked gleefully. "This is fun."
The vampire growled lightly.
"Fine" the blonde grumbled. "But nobody touches me, yeah? You watch and make sure none of the brats get close to me."
Angel nodded his head and turned back toward the brunette. <Should be funny> he thought, waiting for the boy's reaction.
Slowly Spike materialized and stood, smiling at Xander.
"Spike?" he whispered, barely loud enough for even Angel to hear.
"Hey whelp" he answered and smiled, waiting for the boy's response.
"I can't believe you're alive" Xander exclaimed as he rushed toward the blonde, tears glistening in his dark brown eye.
"Don't touch me!" Spike shouted as he jumped behind Angel, trying to keep a safe distance away from the human.
"What's wrong?" the concerned young man asked before he turned an accusing gaze upon the vampire. "What did you do to him, Angel?"
"Me?" the vampire asked incredulously. "I didn't do anything. Well, I found him and asked him to come here and talk to me. I thought you might want to see him too."
"Why can't I touch him?" Xander asked.
"Because I'm an angel of death, pet" Spike replied, peeking out from behind Angel's back.
"You're the Angel of Death?" the brunette asked, mouth hanging agape.
Both Angel and Spike hung their heads before bursting out in soul cleansing laughter.
~Part: 8~
Once the laughter died down, Spike looked at a confused Xander and said, "I'm gonna have a bloody T-shirt made. Ok, last time for everyone. It's AN not THE and yes."
"'Kay" Xander said, surprising Angel by his easy acceptance. "So what are you doing here? How long have you been doing the angel thing?" When he asked the last question, he turned and looked at Angel and snickered slightly.
The dark vampire turned and scowled at the human before smiling lightly. "Shall we?" he asked and motioned the two men toward his old office.
Stepping inside, Spike tried to suppress a chuckle. The office, which had obviously once been Angel's, the impressive furniture proved that, was now filled with Xander-esque touches. The Star Trek plates and Monty Python DVDs that littered the area proved that. Still, Angel made sure to take the seat behind the large desk and turn to his friends like the elder of the group that he was.
"So" Spike started, turning to Xander. "What's your line, whelp?"
The human smirked at the familiar term and turned his eye to the blonde. "Well, after the battle with the first, we all stopped here. Everyone else moved on, but I just wasn't ready. After losing Anya and yo.everything I just wasn't ready to do the whole slay or be slayed thing again. Angel offered to let me stay here."
Xander turned to look at the dark vampire and smiled at the recollection of that uncomfortable conversation. He looked back at the blonde and continued.
"Couldn't do construction because the whole vision problem" he said, gesturing at the black patch covering what used to be his left eye. "So I had a lot of free time on my hands. One day I was kinda wandering the streets when I came upon this girl. She was living off the street and it broke my heart. I figured 'what the hell. I've got a huge hotel with a bunch of unused rooms. I'll just take her home.' So Mera came to stay here. The next thing I knew, her friend Farah was here and she brought two friends, and they brought two friends and so on."
Angel chuckled at the babbling young man. "He makes it sound like they just fell in his lap" he explained to Spike. "Xander feeds these kids, finds them jobs and gets them on their feet. He listens to their problems and they respect him. I'm really proud of him."
Xander ducked his head at the unfamiliar praise. Over the course of the last year, he and Angel had been able to put away their differences and not hate each other, but he wasn't sure he would have called them friends before this.
"Anyway" Xander jumped in, wanting to change the topic. "So you're still all big with the killing?"
Spike flinched slightly a the implication. "Not killing, pet" he said, meeting the boy's chocolate eye. "Just helping people along to the other side. Just a job to work towards a redemption of sorts. I was evil for a long time."
"Yeah, I remember" the human chuckled. "A lot of times, it was directed at me."
"I never would have killed you, luv" he smiled. "Well, maybe when I first went the Sunnyhell, but once Angelus offered you to me, well, all bets were off."
The three men laughed at the memory before Angel turned to Xander and said, "I'd really like to talk to Spike, if you don't mind Xander."
"Not a problem, Deadboy" he said as he stood quickly. Before he reached the door, he turned and looked at Spike with a question in his eye. "Spike, you didn't happen to see.?"
"No, pet" Spike interrupted. "Never saw your bird. Heard she went out all hero-like though."
Xander simply smiled and nodded his head before quickly turning to leave the office. As he closed the door behind him, Angel heard the young man sigh and walk away.
"It still hurts" Spike whispered. Angel wasn't sure what he meant. As he opened his mouth to ask, Spike continued.
"So what did you want to know?" he asked quietly.
Angel remained silent for several minutes. <What do I want to know?> he wondered.
"Did you talk to your boss about the wings?" he asked.
"Yeah" Spike said chuckling lightly. "Turns out it was described in the manual."
"There's a manual?" Angel asked incredulously.
"It seems the Slayer and me have a book learning problem in common. Turns out they're for decorative purposes only. Can't fly with 'em or nothin'."
"So you can use them to what, convince the unbelieving?" the vampire asked.
"That's about it" Spike smiled. "But they are pretty cool."
"Very" Angel agreed.
The silence that followed stretched out between them as they each waited for the other to say something.
"What do you want, Angel?" Spike finally asked, breaking the silence.
"I don't really know" he answered truthfully. "I missed you, Spike. I mourned you when you died. I know I was an asshole to you, but I never expect you to just be gone. I thought we had eternity and then you were dead. You know I sat in this room and shared the portfolio with Giles. I think I almost gave him a heart attack a couple of times."
"You showed those to Rupes?" Spike asked, honestly shocked. "You probably gave him nightmares or some great wanking material."
"Probably both" Angel said smiling. They both laughed at this for moment before Spike turned serious eyes on the vampire.
"I don't know if I can do this, Angel."
"Do what, Spike?" Angel was afraid of the answer.
"This" he gestured vaguely between them. "We're not friends. We never were. You were the sire and I was the childe. We played our games and worked our roles and it was good. But now.now it's all so different. I'm an angel, but that means shit. I'm not good. I do my job and I go home just like any other blighter. I don't know how to do this with you."
"That's what we need to do, Spike" Angel said, rising from his chair to come around the desk and sit on the edge of it. He leaned over to get closer to the blonde. "We need to figure out what we can be. I missed you. I need someone to talk to that will understand. I need someone who knows what it's like to be a vampire with soul. You were there, you know."
"You need!" Spike shouted, jumping up from his chair to stalk over to the larger man. "Why should I give a shit about what you need? You abandoned me, remember? Now that you're all hurting and sad, I'm supposed to care?"
The two men were standing toe to toe. Spike was so close Angel was sure that if either of them had needed to breath, their chests would have been brushing against each other. Slowly he reached up and traced a sharp cheekbone tenderly and whispered, "I don't deserve this, and I know that. I just don't know if I can let you go again."
Spike looked up into the deep brown eyes he had loved so much, knowing that he couldn't let himself open up to this man again. "You don't have to let me go, luv" he whispered.
Misunderstanding the statement, Angel leaned down and gently kissed the soft lips before him. He felt Spike sob under him and thought he was crying for joy. When he tried to deepen the kiss, Spike jerked away.
The blonde almost gave in when he saw the pain and confusion in the dark depths. "You won't have to let me go because I'm leaving this time." He turned to walk away when his arm was gripped tightly by the vampire. He couldn't force himself to face the vampire when he heard the heartfelt plea.
"Please Spike" Angel begged. "Don't leave me again."
Without turning around, the blonde shrugged himself out of the vampire's grip and walked away. Just before he reached the door, he teleported out of the room, leaving the grieving vampire weeping alone in his office again.
~Part: 9~
Wesley sat in his office, trying to translate a particularly confusing passage in what could possibly be a very important prophecy. Or it could be a strange recipe for some sort of bug stew. At the moment, the former watcher thought for sure it could go either way.
He was completely involved in his work when the blonde angel teleported on to his desk. Wesley jumped back in surprise as Spike appeared, sitting cross-legged right in the middle of the Englishman's desk.
"Christ, Spike" Wesley shouted as he fell back in alarm, almost knocking himself out of his chair. "What are you doing here?"
Spike snickered at the former watcher as he tried to regulate his breathing. "Sorry 'bout that" he said with a slight smirk on his face. "I take it you weren't expecting me."
"Of course not" Wesley said, straightening himself and glaring at the blonde. "No one has seen or heard from you in two weeks, not even Angel. Why should I be expecting you?" He froze for a moment before asking, "You haven't come for me have you?"
"No Watcher" Spike replied. "This is purely a social call." The blonde took a moment to study his nails before looking back at the man before him. "So, you mentioned the broody one. How is he?" He was trying to sound nonchalant and not pulling it off very well.
"He's Angel" the Englishman started, eyeing the blonde on his desk with a bit of trepidation. He sighed before continuing. "He's been broodier than usual since your last visit, I'm afraid. He works all the time and hardly ever sleeps. He's stopped staying at the hotel." The former watcher sighed again, resting his head in his hands. "He's been having nightmares, although he denies it. Xander told me it was so bad that Andrea could hear him, and she sleeps in the room above his. It upset her badly, although I believe she may have been exaggerating that so Xander would continue to comfort her. I believe she may have a bit of a crush."
"I don't give a flying fuck about the bint with a crush on the whelp" Spike shouted, interrupting the watchers babbling. "Angel's having nightmares?"
"Apparently" the former watcher said. "A few days after you left, the previously mentioned young lady told Xander about the screaming she heard at night and he confronted Angel about it. Since that night, he has refused to sleep there. I've noticed he spends less and less time at his apartment. He's even slept in his office a few times."
Spike noticed that the man seemed worried about the dark vampire. For some reason, that scared him more than he was willing to admit. "So, what's he been doing?" the angel asked, unsure he wanted to know the answer.
"He's been working" Wesley answered cryptically. Upon receiving a threatening look from the former vampire, he continued, "It's all he does now. He's here all the time. As much as it pains me to say it, I think he misses you Spike."
The blonde sighed and looked at the man hard. "If you're fucking with me, watcher."
"Trust me" he interrupted. "That is one thing I never plan on doing."
Spike sighed and moved off the desk and stretched. "Maybe I'll talk to him" he murmured as he headed towards the door.
"Do you think that's wise?" the human called after the retreating form.
"I hope so" he said as he dissipated through the door.
Spike wandered the halls of Wolfram and Hart for a while. He tried to avoid Angel's office as he tried to clear his head and decide what to do. He was surprised to find himself standing in front of the door his was trying to avoid.
"Hey Blondie Bear" Harmony said cheerfully. "What are you doing back here?"
"Harm" Spike growled. "Just wandering' the halls, luv. Nothing to get your knickers in a twist about."
He looked down and noticed that the blonde vampire wasn't smiling at him.
"What do you want, Spike" she said in a pissy tone. "Angel's a very busy man.er, vampire and he doesn't need you coming around here and taking all his time when has appointments to keep and stuff. You'll just distract him. He doesn't have enough time for you."
"That's what I'm afraid of, luv" Spike whispered as he started to walk off.
Suddenly, a brilliant idea hit him. He walked swiftly back to the vampire's desk and leaned over so he was directly in her face. "Does Angel have any appointments for tomorrow?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah" Harmony answered curtly. "Of course he does."
"Cancel them" Spike said with a smile on his face.
"I can't do that" she practically yelled. "These are important people, Spike. I can't just tell them to go away."
"You can and you will" the angel practically growled. "Tell Angel a very important client has requested a special all day meeting with him tomorrow starting at eleven. Then call all his other appointments and reschedule. Tell them anything. I don't care. Just do it."
"Why should I, Spike?" she asked, arms crossed defiantly over her chest. "What are you going to do if I don't?"
"I'm the angel of death, pet" Spike said menacingly. "How do you feel about facing your second death?"
Harmony's eyes grew big and she immediately began typing away on the keyboard. After a few moments, she whispered, "Ok, I've cleared his calendar, but who is this new client?"
Spike looked at the blonde in awe. <Is she really that stupid?> he wondered. <And why didn't I notice it before?>
"The client's name is Mr. Bradford" he answered quietly. "Is there anyway you can make sure he doesn't come to the office until eleven?"
"Yeah" Harmony replied, thinking hard. "I'll come up with something."
"Good, luv" Spike said, smiling. "I appreciate it.and I'm sure Mr. Bradford will appreciate it too."
"Thanks" the secretary, er.assistant said softly. "Spike?" she whispered.
"Yeah, luv?"
"You wouldn't really kill me again, would you?"
The angel was extremely amazed at the sheer lack of depth this young woman displayed. "No, pet. I wouldn't do that to you. You make a right lovely vampire."
The former Cordette smiled happily at the retreating back of the angel as he strode across the lobby, a new purpose ahead of him.
Just before he teleported, Spike turned back and smiled at the girl. <How the hell did I ever shag that bint?> he wondered. <There must have been a lot of alcohol involved.>
~Part: 10~
Angel came down the elevator and was surprised that he was feeling so anxious. Dealing with new clients for Wolfram and Hart was becoming a regular occurrence for him lately, but this one was different. According to Harmony, this particular client had called and insisted on having Angel's entire day cleared. That worried Angel more than he was willing to admit.
As he stepped off the elevator and headed toward his office, Harmony stood up and smiled at him. "Hey boss" she said, overly chipper.
"Harmony" Angel said quickly, reaching out for the mug of blood she always had for him. He was ten minutes early and looking forward to relaxing before meeting the new client. He stopped when he realized that the blonde was staring at him. She tilted her head from side to side and scowled lightly. "What?" he asked confused.
"Is your hair supposed to.?" she asked, gesturing at the man's coif.
Angel's hands shot up to his head. "What?" he asked suddenly scared. "What's wrong with my hair?"
He practically ran to the elevator to go back to his apartment and check his hair.
Harmony giggled as she watched the vampire scamper away. <I hope Spike appreciates this> she thought. <Angel will kill me if he knows I was teasing him about his hair.>
Spike poked his head out of Angel's office and caught the blonde vampire's attention. Harmony hurried over.
"Where is he, luv?" he whispered.
"He just went back up to his apartment" she giggled. "He thinks something is wrong with his hair."
"You truly are evil, pet" Spike smirked. He lifted his hand and lightly brushed her cheek. "Just send him in when he gets back, yeah?"
"Ok Spikey" the former Cordette answered before traipsing back to her desk.
After just a few minutes, Angel appeared back in the Wolfram and Hart lobby. As he passed his secretary, he asked, "The new client in my office?"
"Yep!"
He quickly moved past the girl and into his office. "Mr. Bradford" he said as he breezed into his office, trying to act less nervous than he was feeling. "I'd like to thank you for."
Looking around the office, Angel realized that no one was there. <Great> he thought. <Harmony can't even get that right.>
Suddenly, his chair swiveled around revealing a smiling blonde.
"Spike?" Angel asked, barely believing he was there.
"Good to see that you didn't forget me, luv" the angel replied with a smirk.
"But I have an appointment with a Mr. Bradford." As he said the name, realization dawned on the dark vampire. "William Bradford." Spike's human name. "Very clever Spike."
They took a few moments to look at each other. Angel took in the appearance of his childe staring back at him. Spike was wearing a dark blue, long sleeve shirt tucked into a slightly baggy pair of grey slacks. A black leather belt with a gleaming silver buckle wrapped around his waist and sparkled in the dim light of the office.
"So what is this all about Spike?" Angel finally asked.
"What's the matter?" the blonde asked with a slight pout. "Not happy to see me?"
"Of course I'm happy to see you" the dark vampire practically shouted. "Surprised, but happy. I thought you didn't want anything to do with me."
"It's not that I didn't want anything to do with you, pet" Spike started, still unsure what he wanted to say to the vampire. "I just don't understand you. You hurt me, Angel. In ways you may never understand, but I want to know why this" he gestured between the two of them, "is suddenly so important to you. So I thought you could tell me a story or two to explain."
Angel looked at his childe with confusion written across his face. Spike smiled and leaned down and picked something up from the floor. He gasped when he realized that Spike was holding his portfolio.
"Where did you get that?" Angel asked, torn between being happy and upset.
"In the hotel you used to call home" the blonde replied snarkily. "Remember that place? You just left these all over the place. I figured you explained it the watcher, maybe you could explain it to me."
Angel stood in shock. Could he explain it to Spike? Everything in that book was something that Spike had lived through. Seeing the determined look on the blonde's face, he walked forward and took the offered portfolio and ran his hands over it lovingly before sinking into the seat opposite of the one he was used to sitting in.
"What did you want to see?" he asked as he slowly opened the portfolio and stroked the first picture.
"Everything" Spike answered simply.
Angel smiled at his childe. "You know, if we're going to do this right, we're going to need something else" he said as he stood. He walked over to the bookshelf and reached behind a rather large volume that appeared to be about demon mating rituals. He turned and smiled at Spike, showing him the treasure hidden there.
Spike laughed when he saw the large bottle of Irish whiskey in Angel's hand. "Now we're getting somewhere" Spike said, smiling. He settled in to hear what Angel had to say about his life.
*******************
Several hours and a bottle of whiskey later, Angel finished showing Spike the pictures he had drawn before Spike had died in the hole that used to be called Sunnydale. The blonde sank into the couch they moved to hours ago. Spike was in overload. After hearing about his life through the filter of Angel's eyes, the blonde wasn't sure what to think anymore. What he once saw as hatred now was revealed to be fear or apprehension.
Spike tried hard not to interject his own feelings and views on the stories that Angel had told him. Some of them shocked the former vampire, like the fact that Angel had actually been present when he killed his first slayer. Others made him want to cry for the pain his sire had gone through after gaining his soul.
His head still spinning, Spike was prepared to take off and try to sort out his feelings when he realized that Angel wasn't done.
Angel looked at the blonde through his lashes. "There's still more if you want to see" he said sheepishly.
"Thought that was all" Spike replied. He remembered Angel telling him that he had showed all these to Giles and he knew that Angel and the watcher hadn't seen each other since the Englishman returned to his homeland.
"Just a few more" Angel whispered. He pulled out the first picture and handed it to the angel next to him. Spike smiled when he realized it was from the night in the hospital. He was standing by Katie's bed with a look of utter shock on his face. He chuckled at the sight.
"I couldn't believe it was you" Angel whispered, staring at the image. "But I knew without a doubt that it was you as soon as I heard you singing. You always had the most wonderful voice. I loved it when you sang for me, but you always seemed to be singing for Dru."
"The only reason I sang to Dru was because it was the only way to calm her down after you beat the shit out of her" Spike said without any malice in his voice.
Angel simply nodded and gestured back to the picture. "I was so happy to find out you were alive.sort of. I was so disappointed when I felt that you were no longer my childe."
"I'll always be your childe" Spike whispered, barely loud enough for even Angel's superior hearing to catch.
The brunette smiled at the quiet remark. He took back the picture and sighed before handing Spike the next and last picture. Spike gasped as he took in the image of himself on the sheet of parchment. It was him when they had discovered he had wings. The sight of himself, back arched with the feather appendages stretched out behind him, made him smile. <Damn> he thought. <I am one fine looking man.>
"I still can't believe it" Angel said finally, breaking through Spike's mental evaluation of his own image. "You were the most beautiful demon I had ever seen, but you are even more beautiful as an angel."
Spike looked up to see Angel's eyes shinning with unshed tears. As the dark vampire blinked, a single tear slid down his cheek and, before it could fall, Spike reached out and gently brushed it away with a soft brush of his fingertips. Angel took in an unnecessary breath at the contact.
Spike smiled at his sire. "Think we've had a bit much to drink, mate" he said quietly. "Don't know if I should be teleporting in this state."
"You could stay here with me" Angel offered, hoping he didn't sound too desperate.
"Probably a good idea, luv" Spike said as he stood shakily. Angel rose next to him and helped him to the door. They moved in silence to the vampire's penthouse apartment. As they entered the apartment, Angel began to remove his clothes, leaving them scattered around the room.
"Getting a little sloppy there, old man" Spike teased.
"Tired" Angel said slightly slurred. He stripped down to his black silk boxers and flopped down on the large bed. He put his hands behind his head and watched the blonde as he waited for him to strip.
"Want me to take the couch?" Spike asked, suddenly feeling a little self conscious.
"Nah" the dark vampire said dreamily. "Bed's big enough for both of us and besides, it's not like we never shared a bed before."
Spike nodded lightly at the vampire's logic. He really couldn't see the harm in it. He slowly pulled off his clothes, trying not to read too much into the look the vampire on the bed was giving him. Once he had stripped down, he climbed into the bed and settled himself under the soft silken sheets.
They lay like that for some time, both on their backs with their hands behind their heads, just thinking. Slowly, Angel rolled over laid his head on the angel's chest. He wrapped one arm around the slim waist and draped a muscular thigh across smaller ones. Spike smiled as he reached down and began to card his fingers through Angel's surprisingly soft hair.
"Goodnight Will" Angel mumbled into the warm flesh as he drifted off.
"Goodnight Liam" Spike whispered, holding the man close. He knew that when they woke, he would have to tell the man in his arms that this could never be. But for now, he would live in this illusion of peace and happiness. It was all he had.