Rating: PG-13
Warning: None really.
Disclaimer: All things AtS belong to Joss Whedon (my god), Mutant Enemy, etc. I own nothing, so please don't sue me. I just want to play with the yummy beings that Joss created.
Spoilers: Season 5 of Angel through "A Hole in the World".
Distribution: Shara Nesu's Place, Red's Soulmates and list archives. Everyone else, just ask. I'm generous.
Website: http://www.geocities.com/stricken_girl/FortheFaithfulEntrance.htm
Summary: Spike and Angel have an argument.
Author's Notes: This came to me in the middle of the night while I was trying to sleep. I thought it was funny, so here you go.
A huge thanks to my sis Stephanie who is betaing for me. You rock babe!
Thoughts indicated by <>
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"What?" Angel asked, irritated with the blonde.
"I asked who you prefer, men or women?" Spike said in a bored tone that matched his lazy sprawl in Angel's chair.
"Women, of course," the dark vampire answered immediately.
"See, I knew you'd say that. So bloody hung up on morals and all that rot." Spike sauntered up to his sire and whispered, "Why?"
"Well," Angel started, a little shocked by the question. "Women are sweet."
"Of course they're sweet," Spike said, stalking away from the taller vampire. "They drink all those damn foamy coffee things and wear that fruity lip stuff. And perfume, can't forget the perfume."
"No can't forget that," Angel replied sarcastically.
"Men are better," the blonde stated decisively. "Men are strong and bold."
"But women are soft and are easier to manipulate."
"Sure" Spike said, rolling his eyes at his sire. "That would be your selling point."
"That's not what I meant, Spike," Angel grumbled.
"Besides," Spike continued. "Men are better because you don't have to bend down. Most women are shorter and the height thing can be a pain."
"Except for you," Angel said, barely restraining his laughter.
"Hey! No short jokes, ya' ponce!" the blonde yelled. "This is a serious discussion."
"This is stupid, Spike," Angel said, walking away from his childe slowly. "You're seriously going to sit here and tell me that you prefer men."
"Sure," Spike said, standing and pacing toward the defensively standing vampire. "Men are powerful and hard. Tell me it isn't a great feeling to have that pressed against you. Strong muscles and musky skin under your lips, opening up for you. It's the ultimate power trip."
Angel rolled his eyes and stalked away. He couldn't believe that Spike was pushing this issue with him. And besides, what did it matter? It's not like he could do anything about it anyway.
"The fear and everything can be nice and all, but women scream too much, don't you think?" Spike asked as he walked up behind Angel and leaned against him seductively.
"I thought you liked it when they screamed."
"I did," the blonde said with a pout. "But what about the way men moan. It's like they are trying to keep the scream in."
"Yeah," the taller man said with a sigh. "When you finally have that first penetration and they gasp," he shook his head, "I love that gasp."
Spike knew he had him. "And then you feel that warm gush fill your mouth, it's like a taste of heaven," he whispered seductively. He stood in front of the dark vampire and waited for the man to concede to his view point.
Rolling his eyes, Angel gave up. "Fine, Spike. You're right."
"Right about what?" the blonde pried teasingly.
"Men are better to bite," Angel said, staring hard into the sparkling blue eyes.
Spike smiled and chuckled lightly. "That wasn't so hard now, was it?"
Angel just shook his head and slowly began to walk away.
"Wait a minute, luv," the blonde called out to the retreating form.
"What now, Spike" the older man practically growled. "I have work to do."
"I got a serious question for you."
"Ok," Angel said, waiting for his childe to continue. The expression of the smaller man's face was so solemn, he was a little worried about what Spike was going to ask. He tensed when he heard the question.
"If astronauts and cavemen got into a fight, who do you think would win?"
~~The End~~