Rating: PG-13
Summary: A moment between Spike and Angel.
Distribution: redssoulmates, lj
Feedback: Hate it? Love it? Tell me.
Disclaimer: Don't sue. I don't own any of the characters. I don't make any money from it. All credit goes to Joss and the actors.
Spoilers: through Shells of Angel season 5
Notes: Angel is Spike's sire, spoilers through Shells
Warnings: m/m
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Spike sat on the edge of Angel's bed. The silence of the room surrounded him. He could feel the tears threatening to fall. Closing his eyes, he willed them back but knew he would only be unsuccessful. Hearing the elevator door click open, he opened his eyes and wiped away the tears that started to fall down his face.
Angel stepped off of the elevator; glad to be away from anything that might resemble Wolfram and Hart. To him, his apartment was his sanctuary. Glancing at the bed, he saw the one thing destroying that sanctuary for him. His childe. Not smelling the tears, Angel pointed to the elevator. "Leave, Spike. You taunt me enough during the day. I sure as hell don't need you here at night too." Without looking at him, Angel walked over to the liquor cabinet and poured a whiskey. Bringing the glass to his lips, he froze. He didn't hear any rustling, which meant Spike was still sitting on his bed. And he didn't hear any comments thrown back, which he had expected from his childe. In fact he heard nothing but silence. Angel placed the glass on the counter in front of him and turned around. It was then that he smelled the salt in the air.
Angel stared at his childe for a moment. His head was bent down. His hair, which was usually slicked back, was now hanging down against his face. His body was sluggish, even trembling slightly. Something had happened. And whatever that something was had riled up the demon in Angel. Something had destroyed a part of 'his' boy. "Spike?" he asked quietly. When he didn't get a response, he tried a little louder. "Spike, look at me." Still he got nothing. He tried a last attempt as he made his way to him. "William."
Spike lifted his head, hearing his Sire call him by his human name. "You don't do that enough."
Angel kneeled in front of him. "What's that?"
"Calling me William," Spike said sadly. "I miss that," he said softly. Almost too soft for vampiric hearing to pick up.
Angel cradled Spike face in his hands, brushing away the tears with the pad of his thumbs. "Want to tell me what's got my boy upset?"
"Not your boy," Spike snapped at him, pulling away quickly.
Angel growled at him, giving him a warning. He stood up and sat next to Spike on the bed. "You're always mine. Always! Some things may change but that doesn't." Trying to hold his demon back, he tried again. "Tell me why you're upset, childe," he said in a soothing but demanding manner.
Spike glanced at him. "Pick a bloody reason. I died...again. Burned from the inside out. Only to repeat that same situation when I was brought back. Brought back to a Sire that hates me."
"I don't hate..."
"You wanna hear this or you wanna hear yourself talk, Angelus?" Spike knew the name wasn't valid in this situation but it was how he felt. Hearing the silence, he continued. "Being here under the clutches of this place, Fred dying, knowing what's coming...I can feel it and I know you do too." Spike waited but his Sire wasn't saying anything. "This is the part where you speak up, you git."
"What do you want me to say, Spike? I don't what the outcome of everything will be. I don't know if we'll die or continue on. I don't know." He could feel his childe's eyes on him. He turned his head to look at him. "But I do know, I'll always be here for you."
"Like you were before?" Spike asked icily. "You got a soul and left. Didn't even think twice about me. Didn't even think that I might've needed you. You just left. And for a century you were gone. Not a bloody word."
Angel knew everything Spike said was true. Every word of it. "I can't change the past and fix what I screwed up, but now in the present...I will stand by your side. No matter what. If something tries to dust you, it's gonna have to get through me first."
Spike pondered that statement. "Did you miss me during any of it?"
Angel didn't have to think twice about his answer. "Every moment. You're a part of me, Spike."
"When you walked out, you took a part of me with you. A part I can't get back. You were everything to me. You were my Sire.my lover."
"And you were everything to me."
"I just wasn't enough for you to stay," Spike whispered softly.
"You know it wasn't like that."
"I wasn't enough."
Angel started shaking his head. "I still want you as a Sire wants their childe. And I still crave you as a lover would."
Spike turned his head to look into Angel's dark eyes. He knew he was telling the truth, but the poet in him always doubted things. "Do you really? Do you still crave me?"
"More than anything. I remember the days when it would just be the two of us. I remember the time that we would spend alone. I remember you in my arms. All of the days we would just enjoy each other. I would give anything to have that back. To have you with me once again."
Spike felt as if Angel was saying everything his mind and heart had been telling him for years. Without a word, he leaned forward brushing his lips softly against his. Even in the most innocent kiss, he could feel the amount of emotions that Angel had for him. Reaching out with his hands, he started to unbutton Angel's shirt.
Angel felt his childe's hands along his shirt and pulled back a bit. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked softly.
"Taking a trip down memory lane," he whispered in a voice that was only William.
Angel gave him a smirk that was pure Angelus. "I might just have to let you do that." As he felt Spike continue with the buttons, he placed his hands on Spike's body, pushing him down onto the bed. When Spike finished with the last button, Angel pulled the shirt off of his body and let it fall to the floor. He then grabbed the bottom of Spike's t-shirt, pulling it over his head, letting it fall wherever it landed. Angel leaned down into the curve of Spike's neck. "I've always loved you."
Spike could feel his Sire's lips brush against the coolness of his skin. He heard the words he whispered. He placed his hands lightly on the back of Angel's neck, hoping to keep him there. "Never stop," he told him. He felt the kisses against his skin and could actually feel himself melting into him. "I'm always yours. Just never stop," he whispered.
The End