Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Angel/Spike, others
Setting: AU, It’s the beginning of AtS Season 5, Spike comes back after burning up on the Hellmouth
Warning: m/m slash
Disclaimer: If wishes were horses, they would be mine but as wishes don't happen to be horses, today… they are not.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 1~An unexpected arrival
He watched the amulet fall out of the envelope and onto the floor like a slow motion in a movie. With a sudden explosion of blinding light the inserted stone broke into thousands of tiny pieces scattering over the floor...
Angel's eyes flashed open, waking from the dream and knowing this time there was a difference. When the amulet broke, blinding them with its emerging light, nothing further had happened. They were standing in Angel's office, confused and surprised. Angel recognized the gold metal frame of the amulet he had given to Buffy a few weeks back, when the Hellmouth was about to be opened by The First to release an army of millions of uber-vamps to maim and create havoc on earth. The one person he least expected to give his life in an apocalypse diverted it. As required, he wasn't human but inherited a soul; he was a champion, fighting against the forces of evil and darkness and thus was the one to wear the amulet, when its devastating powers brought down the uber-vamps and entire Sunnydale with it. He died in a blaze of glorious, destroying light, his ashes left buried beneath the grounds of the Hellmouth.
Spike
He still didn't like to think about him. So much had changed and his once-loved-Childe-become-enemy-become-rival-in-the-fight-of-evil counterpart (and Buffy for that matter) was finally gone. A truth that was hard to grasp even for Angel and even harder to bear. He was torn between the feelings of having lost his secretly most cherished love and relieve of yet another demon created by him being swiped from the face of earth. As 'Angel' and 'Spike' they'd never been able to come to terms with each other, seemingly bound only by their past and being Sire and Childe. However, there was more, simply not visible to his friends and co-workers, not even to Buffy who had known about their physical encounters of fighting and loving. And love it had been. He had a hard time admitting this fact to himself but couldn't deny it anymore. He, Angel, loved Spike just as Angelus had loved William. He didn't bother to tell anyone, in the least the vampire concerned, as he knew the other one didn't return the feelings and would rather walk into the sun than turn his feelings once more towards his Sire, who had nearly destroyed him when he left him the first time. Nevertheless, this time it had been Angel who was left behind and it hurt. Since Buffy told him about Spike's death, he repeatedly had dreams of their past times spent together. Moreover, about the almost reluctant rebuilding of their old bond over the last three or four years. Now he was gone and nothing would ever be the way it used to be.
Only, the dream he just had, predicted something else. That was the difference. In reality, nothing had happened but in the dream, he felt the presence of someone. A sort of energy tickling his guts, making his hair stand up and leaving goose bumps all over his skin. Angel knew these feelings, only one person could evoke such physical response from him, but it couldn't be, he reasoned with himself, it was impossible because Spike was dead. Ok, now that wasn't exactly a reasonable excuse, because he had been undead dead before. Other's had been dead and had returned anyway, so why shouldn't Spike actually come back?
Well, he surely wouldn't choose to come back at Angel's place. So it could be it wasn't a free choice for him and that would mean the other would definitely be pissed off.
Great.
There was only one way to make sure – he had to take a look around the Wolfram & Hart's building to either find Spike had somehow returned to the here and now or find out he hadn't.
With a deep sigh, Angel shoved himself out of bed and dressed in an anthracite shirt and black pants, black socks and black, Italian shoes. With a short glance at the alarm clock by his bed, he realized it was only half past two in the morning or night or whatever you wanted to call it. He was still getting used to stay up days and sleep nights, for more than two hundred plus years it had been just the other way around and sometimes he missed it. Actually, he was thankful for each night they had to work through. Pushing the button of the elevator, he was thoughtfully scratching the back of his head and tried to make up some kind of search patterns he could use. Probably it would be best to start in the basement and work upwards, so he would end up in his apartment again.
With a slight whooshing sound, the elevator doors opened, Angel stepped inside and pushed the button for the basement. The doors closed and he felt the soft shaking, as the elevator made its way down. After what seemed like forever, it came to a halt and opened the doors to the basement. It was dark and actually quite cold even to Angel, which made him wonder whether vampires became more sensitive to temperatures coming of age, but suddenly he was torn out of his thoughts as the ground started shaking and low rumbling sounds could be heard. Even the air around him seemed to vibrate, Angel stumbled back and forth to maintain his balance, and with a deafening roar, a black-smoke-lightning-spiral kind of portal appeared right above him. Damn, this was a trap – Angel was sure to be sucked up by this thing any moment, but only a few seconds later something dropped out of the portal with high velocity, which could only be reached by a very long fall and hit the floor with a violent thud. The portal was gone instantly after it had spit out what it obviously couldn't digest.
Lying on the cement floor in front of Angel was what seemed to be a human being or at least the rest of it. He carefully stepped closer, to get a better look at the small heap of naked flesh and bones – well, broken bones he could assume. Scanning the body, Angel could see all kind of different wounds, cuts, scratches, burn marks and lots of scars from wounds already healed, everything covered by crusts of blood and probably dirt. Beneath it all, the body was radiating waves of fear, pain, sorrow, and guilt – and as he bent down over it, he could make out the faintest smell of something he recognized. Recognized from a time spent together but long gone. As occasions turned up every now and then, he had been able to smell this scent again, being intrigued by it just like the first time all over again. This scent was William. Well, Spike, but to him it was almost the same, yet not quite. This body was Spike. Making no sound whatsoever, just lying on the floor and bleeding along.
Putting his hand on the other vampires shoulder, he turned him around and looked at his face. He was shocked at the sight of wide-open eyes, once of a bright cerulean blue, but now dull, glazed over kind of white, and not showing any sign of life inside. The body seemed to be deserted and hollow, containing no essence anymore. Angel felt hot pain tearing at his dead, unbeating heart, not wanting to believe his eyes. For only a short moment, he even considered to just stake his Childe but every inch of his inside screamed 'no'. Carefully not to hurt Spike any more than necessary, he pushed his right arm beneath the knees, his left holding on to the shoulders, and lifted the smaller vampire up. He had no choice but get him upstairs to the apartment and somehow make him comfortable, until he would have recovered. Not just physically but mentally.
Reaching the apartment, Angel decided to get Spike cleaned up first of all, carrying him to the bathroom, and only reluctantly putting him down on the cold, tiled floor. Hurriedly he stepped to the bathing tub and turned the hot and cold water on, adjusting the temperature to a pleasing degree. For a vampire that meant it had to be cooler than for a human, because of the lower body temperature the warm water could feel boiling hot to the skin. It took a while for the tub to fill up to a medium level, and then Angel turned the water off and returned to his still unmoving Childe. He gathered him up, and gingerly let the body sink into the water. With a soft bathing cloth, he started rubbing the skin with a light touch and for the first time, there came a slight reaction. A whining sound and a wince. Only once, then the blonde was silent again. Angel tried to lock his gaze with Spike's eyes, but he simply stared back, not focusing, his pupils dilated to black, empty holes.
The water became a diluted mess of dirt and blood, and Angel tugged at the plug to let it flow off the drain, refilling the tub with clear water after that. With a new cloth he continued to clean Spike's body, bringing forth the pale shining skin, which was covered with deep, red cuts and wildly colored bruises of any kind in size and shape. He finished his task and then carefully slid his arms underneath Spike's knees and shoulders again, lifting him out of the water and placing him on a huge, white towel he had spread out on the floor before. Using a second one, Angel tenderly patted the water off the skin. He decided to leave the wounds un-bandaged, otherwise he would have to wrap up Spike like in a cocoon and he most probably wouldn't like that and start a struggle over it – well, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all? At least it would show that some sort of life source was still active inside and not just the motionless mess that was left. Only the eyelids closed from time to time to keep the eyes from drying out, but it was simply a reflex Angel feared.
Picking the hurt vampire up again and carrying him into the bedroom, Angel tried to think of an explanation he could give his co-workers the following day. Well, maybe he could keep it secret for a while, that Spike was here and most certainly he wasn't going to tell Buffy for now, as he wanted his Childe to himself for some time, and obviously he wasn't in the shape to present himself. He placed Spike on the bed, put the covers over him, and looked down at him, all kind of different feelings making quite a turmoil inside his head and heart. Standing in front of the bed, he wasn't sure what to do next. Either cramp together, and sleep on the armchair by the window, or... get into bed with Spike. He decided to do the second, stripping off his clothing and crawling over the blond he settled down beside him. Not having realized how tired he really was, Angel fell asleep almost instantly. Drifting into dreams of times long past – unsouled times but times spent with his Childe being all healthy and vivid.
~~~*~~~
"Angel? Are you here? It's already ten o'clock and you didn't show up at the meeting at nine!"
Wesley's frown grew deeper as he didn't receive an answer and concern for his boss' whereabouts stirred.
All of a sudden, the bedroom door flew open and Angel came rushing through it, looking a sleepy mess with his dark hair all tousled and not being gelled up in its usual spiky way. He was barefoot, only dressed in black pants and a black shirt still unbuttoned, leaving his pale chest bare.
Wesley couldn't help but grin at the tall, dark vampire, as he seemed to have overslept which actually was the first time ever, as far as Wesley remembered. With just a short glance through the open door at the bed of his boss, he wondered whether the other had have company that night, which would definitely be an innovation of some kind. What he saw then was an absolutely shocking surprise to him. A platinum blond young man was lying in bed, staring at nothing in particular and keeping perfectly still. He was naked at least down to the waist this was obvious to Wesley and he blushed deeply. Still he couldn't bring himself to look away and thus was taking in what else there was to be seen – the deep wounds covering the man and those eyes staring at him, but showing no emotions in any way, the rest of the face expressionless. In addition, there was this feeling that he knew the man – his features resembled someone he had seen before, but the hair was pretty easy to recognize and he was sure he had never met someone with this kind of bleached hair. But the face and those eyes...
A picture, well a drawn picture he had once seen in a book, appeared before his inner eye. Where did he look into this book and what was it about? Then it started dawning to him...
"Wesley! Come with me! I need to talk to you and the others. Would you please get them? We'll meet in my office and I'm going to explain everything to you, ok?"
Wesley's eyes narrowed and he looked back at Angel. But was it Angel? Or Angelus?
"I hope you're not the one responsible for his condition or that he is here, if he is who I suppose him to be...?"
"What? No! I didn't do anything to him… oh – you think I'm him again... NO! Really, Wesley, it is me, Angel! And he is... actually, he is who you think he is... but I can explain it!"
Wesley held up both hands and turned towards the apartment doors.
"Don't. At least not now. I'll get the others but we are meeting here, they'll probably have to see this themselves... "
And with a shake of his head, he left the room. Angel cursed himself for having overslept and making someone look after him – so much for keeping Spike a secret, damn it.
~~~*~~~
They had settled on the couch, armchairs and chairs in Angel's apartment and listened to their CEO as he told them about the happenings of last night and added the missing pieces to the story of what had happened in Sunnydale only a few weeks before and also threw in a few facts about Spike – but not all relevant facts.
"You wanted to hide him from us, am I right? William the Bloody is here and you wanted to keep it a secret! What if he suddenly woke up and turned into a ruthless killer again – he might have slaughtered us all!"
Wesley jumped up from his chair and started pacing through the room.
"Wait, wait, honey bums, who exactly is this William the Bloody we are talking about? Is he dangerous?" Lorne raised his eyebrow questioningly at Angel.
Before Angel could answer, Wesley did.
"William the Bloody a.k.a. Spike, is the most viscous and brutal killer known of in Europe by the end of the of the late nineteenth and the twentieth century ... only second to one... "
"Me," Angel stepped in, wanting to end Wesley's mind-blowing rant.
Silence, finally. Glances exchanged between them.
"And you are connected to him how, exactly?" Came the simple question from Fred.
"... He is one of the few blood childer I... Angelus created. He... I ... turned him and made him what he is or at least was... but Buffy said he's different now. As you might remember, he was helping Buffy in her fight but he did more...ah. Don’t mind... it comes down to this. He has a soul and actually should be dead, buried beneath Sunnydale... he saved the world and died for it. That's it... no big deal."
"He's a champion then, like you?"
"NO! I mean... he's not like me – he didn't do it for redemption, he just wanted to impress Buffy – and we are SO not alike!"
Fred raised her brows and looked at Wesley, searching for back up.
"He has a soul? Like you? Another curse from gypsies, now that's growing boring..."
"No, Gunn, no curse, no gypsies, no happiness clause. Simply a soul... "
"Cupcake, you're making me curious... when are we going to see this miraculously reappeared Childe of yours?"
With a sigh, Angel stood up from the couch waving his right hand to make them follow him. Everyone got up and queued behind him, as he opened up the bedroom door, revealing... an empty bed. They looked at each other in confusion. Angel stepped into the room and scanned it, but only as he turned around to face the others, staring into the room, he realized the still naked form of Spike, sitting in the corner behind the door and staring at him with panic-stricken eyes. Crouching down, he moved extremely slow towards the vampire, who was shaking with fear and now slightly started growling at him.
"Spike!" he said in a low and gentle voice. "You are in safety. Nothing's going to happen to you, if you keep calm... you know who I am, right? I'm not going to harm you, but you have to stay down, ok? Everything is all right!"
Spike stared back at him, undecided what to do. He couldn’t think as his body ached with every inch of it. His instincts told him to make a run for the door, to find any kind of way out of here, to escape from the threat the other was posing... and with a sudden, quick jump he tried to get by the tall, dark man cowering right in front of him, knocking him to the ground. But as the panicking vampire reached the door, he bounced back like he had hit an invisible barrier as to get away from the forms gathered at the entrance of the room. He threw himself backwards to the next door within his reach, only to find himself trapped inside the bathroom. Despite being totally shocked by what just happened, everyone followed him, cornering him even more. Spike crouched into one corner at the farthest end of the room, whimpering noises escaping his throat and started slamming his head again and again into the wall behind him. Forcefully he yanked his head back, braking the tiles on the wall, and making them come off. Blood started spattering all around and the back of his scull made cracking noises from the braking of bone. They were totally stunned and for seconds not able to react in any sensible way until Angel broke out of his frozen state running over to Spike and grabbed him by his shoulders. He drew him into an embrace, pinning him to his own chest to avoid more self-inflicted violence.
"Help me! Wesley, Gunn! We have to fixate him! Get some chains and fasten them to the bedposts. Fred? Could we give him some kind of sedative? Anything, just fast!"
Fred and Gunn ran out to get the things together and Wesley knelt down beside Angel and the insane, fighting vampire.
"What do you wanna do?"
"Get his legs... we'll put him on the bed and hold him down, until either Fred or Gunn return and we gain the control over him!"
Wesley tried to get a hold on Spike's kicking legs, but got kicked into his gut for his good will. He swayed at the raging vampire and getting back up, he grabbed once more for his legs and finally got a strong grip on one of them. Half carrying, half dragging, pushing and pulling the gone wild one, they managed to throw him on the bed, but still had to struggle to keep him down. By now, Spike was screaming and whining, his voice all croaked and broken. He was breathing heavily and slipped into his game face trying to bite Angel, but he had expected something like that would happen and did the only thing he could with no free hand available – he let his own demon face come forward and head butted Spike violently on the forehead, finally leaving the other slightly dazed. Fred came rushing into the room with a syringe, filled with a clear liquid.
"Ok, this is going to hurt me much more than you but that's how it is going to have the fastest effect!" And with that, she rammed the syringe right into Spike's stomach, pressing the end down and injecting the sedative. With one last scream of agony, his eyes rolling almost to the back of their sockets and a choking noise, the blond reared up against Angel's strong hold, then dropped back unconsciously.
"Was that necessary?"
"Sorry, Angel, but that was for his own best or would you have wanted him to be in this pain any longer?"
"No, Fred, you're right... " Angel sighed and gently pulled the covers over the hips of the now sleeping vampire.
Gun entered the room, carrying two pairs of heavy chains over his shoulder. He dropped them to the ground with scattering sounds.
"Oh, seems like we don't need them now?"
"Yes, we do! We don't know what'll happen when he wakes up again – better keep him under control before he kills himself or worse one of us, right Angel?"
"Yes, Wesley, you a-r-e right and we are going to chain him to the bed. I also would like to keep him sedated for a while, for his own safety. Maybe he'll be able to come to terms with whatever is making him this scared... can you see to that, Fred?"
"Sure. I am going to reduce the dosage the next few times, until he stays in some kind of consciousness. Maybe then he's becoming more aware of where he is and who you are."
For a few minutes they were simply standing and staring at the now motionless form of Spike, lying on the bed, his lean, muscular body covered with even more bruises now. They hadn't yet been able to really understand all of this. Where had he been? How did he come back? Would he ever be himself again? And most important did he still have his soul? With these thoughts in mind they turned and left the bedroom and the apartment, leaving Angel alone with his Childe, a part of his past they didn't have any access to.
~Part: 2~ Time to wake up
The following two weeks nothing in Spike's condition changed. Fred was able to dose out the sedative to a level leaving him conscious, but too weak to make any riot. While Angel couldn't be at the apartment due to his work, it was up to Lorne to keep Spike company as he could do the main part of his work inside the building. He set up some kind of office in the living room and there was a steady flow of people coming and going. Once in a while Lorne would take a peek into the bedroom, to make sure Spike was still on the bed, still chained up and still calm.
Angel spent his free time at his Childe's side, guarding his sleep in the night, waiting for a change of any kind to the better. The long days and even longer nights passed by with Spike either being asleep in an even more death-like-state, his white skin shining ghost-like in the pale moonlight streaming in through the windows, or staring into thin air with empty eyes.
After what seemed to be a lifetime, he finally started reacting when someone addressed him. His eyes were following Angel through the room and while asleep, his hands were moving over the covers, his fingers clenching into fists and relaxing again. Sometimes he made a whining noise or even screamed, sitting up straight in bed and gazing at things only he could see with his still dull and dilated pupils, falling back on the cushions from being at the end of his frail amount of physical strength.
It was the seventeenth night, Angel spent at the bedside, half asleep and half awake, ready to react to any motion of his Childe. Shaking his head and coming out of his reverie about the past, he brought his look up to Spike. The blond was looking back at him, focusing his now clear blue eyes on his Sire. Instead of fear they displayed a clear dislike for the man in front of him, yet not being able to move more than weakly or speak. But his sentiments were loud and clear to Angel and he sighed, knowing the simple times were over – from now on he would have to deal with the Spike, he had come to know since his re-ensoulment – a stubborn, wayward, angry young man, possessing no self-control whatsoever.
Angel got up from the armchair he had occupied for more than a fortnight, and left the bedroom without a word. Instead, he went into the kitchen, took out a bag of blood from the freezer, ripped it open, and filled it into a mug. After heating it up in the microwave, he took it into one hand, grabbed the chain keys from the counter with the other, and slowly walked back to the bedroom. For just a moment he simply stood in the doorway taking one last good look at his Childe and with a heavy sigh stepped inside the room. Spike was staring out of the window into the dark night sky that was blinking with millions of stars. As Angel approached his bedside, he spun his head back to his Sire, trying to move away, but was held firmly by the chains still fastened to his wrists and ankles. Anger flickered in his eyes throwing daggers at Angel and he was grinding and revealing his teeth and making coarse sounds in the back of his throat, seemingly trying to curse at his Sire.
"Stop making such a fuss, Spike, you are in no condition of taking the odds with me... I'm going to unchain you now, but if you are trying to run or even think of attacking me, think again, because I have no compassion for you being chained up another few weeks. And you do look hungry, certainly you want what's in this mug, right?"
Spike's eyes narrowed and he hissed something between his clenched teeth that resembled a "sod off" and something like "bloody wanker", but finally let his head come to rest on the pillow underneath, clearly worn out by his obstinate resistance.
Placing the mug on the bedside table, Angel fiddled with the keys, deliberately playing with the blonde's patience, teasing the younger vampire and letting him know, he was the one in control and Spike was depending on his mercy to get something to eat. Spike seemed to understand the subtle display of dominance, as he didn't lower his eyes but at least turned his head to face the window again. Accepting this to be the only sign of submission Spike was able to give in to, Angel unlocked the chains on all four limps.
He tensed... but nothing happened.
The blond remained motionless, not even turning his head back to look at the mug. He knew he was too weak and totally dependent on his Sire's help – a single tear dropped from his eyes, yet it wasn't from anger or sadness but from exhaustion and the feeling of defeat. He found himself at the hands of his Sire – the vampire he had been in love with all his undead life, by whom he had been cast aside, left behind desperate, devastated and lonely, to stay with the "loony-tunes". When he had come back, all re-ensouled, it seemed like he disclaimed Spike, never laying a finger on him other than to bring some kind of punishment on him. Only to leave him again. And to come back and leave all over again. Over and over, and now what a surprise – here he was once more.
Spike simply couldn't read his Sire anymore, didn't know what the other wanted him to do or not. Over those last few years it had become worse, as Angel turned back into Angelus, reclaiming his Childe violently. Just to turn back into Angel again, yet keeping a memento of Angelus and a sort of claim over his Childe, sometimes misusing it viciously for his physical pleasure, yet keeping an protective eye on him at the same time. Spike was tired of it. This wouldn't be any better, than were he had been after his oh-so-glorious death... why couldn't things either stay the way they used to be or at least stay what they had turned into.
Gently his upper body was drawn into the embrace of Angel's strong arms, holding him steady. Spike could manage a moan and rolled his eyes, this mustn't be true.
But when he smelled the rich scent of warm blood in the mug, hunger tugged at his insides, assuring him that it was. Angel held the mug to Spike's mouth and the weak vampire greedily started drinking, alternately breathing and swallowing, being totally lulled in by the scent and taste of blood. He couldn't finish his meal though, because a sick shiver ran over his body, shaking him through. Angel reacted without second thought, grabbing the smaller vampire and hurriedly carried him into the bathroom, bringing his head over the sink – just in time before the younger male started puking his guts out, his body making good riddance of the blood he just ingested.
Great, Angel thought, now we gotta find a way first, to keep his insides – well, inside – after feeding before he could regain his strength. What else would happen? With things like this, it would take ages to make this vampire stand on his own again, meaning he would have to put up with his annoying Childe a lot longer than he anticipated.
Now, was that good or bad?
After some time Spike stopped vomiting and when Angel finally looked down at him, found the young vampire had gone to sleep in this most inappropriate and uncomfortable position, hanging over the sink in his Sire's arms. Angel shook his head and couldn't hold back a smile as memories connected with this fact appeared before his inner eye. Spike had always been able to sleep in awkward, probably uncomfortable positions, dropping into sleep without a previous sign, yet lying in a cozy bed with soft covers would make him restive and struggle to find a satisfying position – only a tight spooning from behind could make him stay still. Angel's arms became lame and with some effort, he hoisted the limp body up, carrying him back to the bed. Ok, it would be another three hours till sunrise and he had to catch up some sleep. Undressing himself and turning off the light, he got into bed beside Spike and draw up the blanket to cover them both. He didn't want to think about the face his Childe would most certainly be wearing the next morning, after waking up beside his despised Sire. But right now, Angel didn't care at all, he needed his sleep and after all, this was his bed and Spike was the guest here.
~Part: 3~Good morning, sunshine
Sunlight was tickling his face, the warmth stroking his skin, the light shining through his eyelids and he felt perfectly at ease, enjoying the early morning sun and knowing this was the only time of the day, he utterly had to his own. He was waking from a long dream. It had been very unpleasant... but now he knew it had only been a dream, because life could never be like the way his poetic but somehow confused mind had created it. Vampires, slayers, a whole century that had passed. What nonsense. The only weird thing was the sunshine coming from the front and he was lying on his right side... wait... the window to his bedroom was at the head of his bed. Now this was odd... he had to be somewhere else than his own home.
Fear crept into his heart – his heart! Listening intently and trying to feel its beating rhythm, a whole world started crashing in on him. There was no heartbeat, he wasn't even breathing... In huge waves, realization came rushing back to his brain nearly braking his skull. Everything that was brought upon him and worse, what he had brought upon others, came hurling back and with it the guilt and sorrow and fear. Just one thought could hold up against it all – over... it would be over any moment... he was lying in direct sunlight and merely up to five seconds should it take to burn his skin and bones to ashes... setting him free.
"You won't burn and turn into ashes, so stop waiting for it," was all a sleepy voice mumbled into the cushions, as its owner was enjoying the morning sun dancing over his skin.
"...bugger... " was the single hoarsely croaked answer that came back.
Minutes passed by and the two vampires still didn't move nor did they
open their eyes, not exactly aware of their positions.
This felt really good... he could feel the smooth skin beneath his left hand, which was leisurely draped over the other's waist, and smooth skin beneath his chest, as he was leaning against the bare back in front of him. His knees were bent and rested in the hollow of someone else's knees. A firm ass was pushing against his hips, and with a growing erection, he slightly started rubbing himself against it. This was so, so good... and it had been quite some time, since he last had gotten close to the body of the other one in this intimate way...
Ok, so he wouldn't burn up to ashes due to reasons being unknown to him. Great. Well, for now he would simply say thank you for this unexpected present and savor this feeling some more, until he was sent back on his merry way.
And anyway, he felt far to cozy.
The soft pressure from a familiar body behind, pinning him gently down
and a gentle hand circling his left hipbone, made it hard to recall where
he was. A hardening cock was rubbing at his buttocks, arousing his body
and making him moan with pleasure, his own member becoming rock-hard. Pressing
his bottom against the hips of the male behind him and making a concave
lower back, he submitted to being penetrated. After only a second, he felt
a hefty cock prodding at his tight entry popping through the strong muscle
and started sinking in slowly embedding itself into his taut channel. Still
so gently, it hardly tore the tender tissue. It was painful anyway, but
to a bearable extend and it added to his lust. He started breathing in
and out in short pants, moaning with every further entering thrust that
hit him exactly on the hidden gland inside his passage, making him arch
his back even more.
Oh God, he felt the other one submitting to being penetrated... Without wasting a second thought, he positioned his throbbing shaft at the small hole, entering it dry even though it would be painful for its owner, but he couldn't hold back – it had been far too long, since they were united through this act. Slowly he pressed into the tight opening until he was fully incased.
With slow, but forceful thrusts he started moving in and out, the inner muscle was clasping around his hard cock.
Every time hitting the hotspot with perfect aim, whenever he wanted to. A low satisfied growl came from his chest, making the other man growl in response.
Slowly...
Back and forth...
In and out...
Again...
Once more...
More...
His body was aching for even more, making him take up pace in his jogging
rhythm. Remembering that the man in front of him was probably sporting
an aching erection, he slid his left hand to the front placing it at the
throbbing cock. He was hard as granite and the head of it was dripping
with pre-come. With quick moves he spread the pre-come all over the tender
shaft, then he fisted the length with his hand again and started a rhythm
of sliding up and down, matching his thrusting moves. The appreciative
groaning from the young male he had invaded, almost turned into yelps of
satisfaction. With the last, the younger one could do to make them gain
their completion; he arched up his pale neck, offering his blood. Accepting
the offer with a roar, the dark-haired vampire slipped into game-face,
biting down into the soft and tender skin, breaking it and sucking in the
blood that flowed from it, with deep draughts. He evened the scale by pressing
the wrist of his free, right hand, though with some difficulties, on the
mouth of the other vampire, letting him sink his fangs into the vein right
beneath the surface.
That was all it needed – both vampires went over the edge. One coming with a shower of orgasmic spasms into the hand that held him in a tight grip and was milking him to the last drop of come. The other crashing his hips against the hips of the male before him, thrusting his aching cock vigorously into the taut passage, that just as vigorously clasped around him, making him spill his cold semen into the contracting body, drawing out his every drop of come.
Finally, their bodies collapsed in weakness left with the after-glow, one on the other, pants and moans slowly fading away.
They were spent.
Holding on to each other like to dear life.
Pressing a gentle kiss on the younger male's neck and with a quick lick over the bite mark, the older vampire spooned him from behind. Both content and at ease, slipping back into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Through all this time, both vampires had kept their eyes firmly shut, finding refuge to a probable daydream....
~Part: 4~I hate you – don't leave me
Wesley quietly retreated from the open bedroom door. His cheeks had a rosy glow to them and his heart was thumping hard in his chest. He usually didn't participate in voyeurism, especially when it concerned two men. But this time was different. Those two were vampires. A Sire and his Blood-Childe. Watchers had observed bonding between a male and a female Sire and Childe, in both ways, over all the centuries, but the bonding of a Sire and his Childe being of the same gender had long been discussed to be non-existent. Even though there had always been reports of watchers who said otherwise.
The actual event and order of events of the bonding act were a well hidden secret by vampires, especially by those who were more than merely acting out their play of dominance and submission, but rather celebrating the physical and mental fusion of their belonging to each other as lovers.
Like the dark and the blond vampire had just done, right before his eyes. The long-trained watcher inside him had glued his feet to the ground and had kept his stare at the two men. It didn't arouse but fascinated him. As an Englishman and the son of conservative parents, it should have been a disturbing on-sight, but he had been in an all boys’ school that made him soon used to the sight of two males tossing off together. He seldom participated in those intimacies, but it had actually taught him that another male’s body could be just as intriguing as the body of a female. And to see those two together in a sexual act seemed surprisingly right to him. Especially as Angel was the dominant one. But seeing Spike to be submissive, actually explained a lot of his childish and stubborn behavior – he was simply making up for being dominated by someone he disliked.
Well, at least that was Angel's opinion about it – that Spike hated him, that he had told the former watcher, co-worker and friend. Only now it was dawning to Wesley it wasn't as easy as to just label it with hate or dislike or something else like that.
Angel's rejecting feelings towards his Childe, most probably weren't the way they appeared to be either.
What he had just witnessed was "making love", and both vampires had most obviously enjoyed it, judging by the noises they made and the intense climax each one had.
There would be trouble. Wesley knew Angel well enough; to be sure, he would be in brooding mode for the next few days, feeling all guilty and maybe even ashamed of his slip of self-control. And if everything he had been told about Spike was only slightly true, this one would be in a furious rage about submitting to his Sire, allowing him to shag him. They were fortunate the blond vampire would be far to weak for bringing any real damage forth, and once he was back to health, had hopefully calmed down.
Wesley decided to keep his mouth shut about this occurrence and only write it down in his private watcher journals. Maybe this was becoming more than just a recent encounter.
~~~*~~~
Right about one hour later Angel woke up, being wide awake instantly, and hissed a "damn shit" through his clenched teeth as he looked down at the blond vampire, he was holding in a close embrace from behind. Carefully he wriggled his right arm from underneath the other one and rolled onto his back. A wet spot on the sheets he felt at the height of his hips, made him jump.
"Oh please! Let it have been a 'wet dream'!" His voice woke up the younger vampire at his side, who had more than a few problems getting his thoughts together and blinked his eyes in confusion at the bright sunlight streaming in through the windows. Underneath his stomach, the covers had a sticky wet feel to it. As he let himself drop to his backside, he landed right in the same wet spot, Angel had discovered only a moment earlier, coming to rest right beside his Sire. At first he looked at the other one with wonder, but then he remembered what had happened and his eyes widened in shock and, as Angel had expected it, with disgust. Both men rolled to opposite sides of the bed trying to bring as much distance between them as possible, jumping out of it. Unfortunately, for Spike, he wasn't yet strong enough to support himself and therefore fell head first off the bed landing with his face flat on the floor. He groaned in pain, but somehow managed to turn around, seeing Angel approach him with a wary expression on his face.
"You ok?"
"Does it the bloody hell look like I am? And stay away from me, you nonce!" Spike croaked.
"Sorry – ah, I didn't mean to... "
"...what? Stick it to me? Bugger me dry? No, I guess you just slipped on you way, accidentally shoving your dick up my arse – 'oops, sorry! No, no! You're welcome to use me anytime you want to!' "
"Spike, shut up... it's not like you didn't have a part in it and you got your share of satisfaction, right?"
"You call that satisfaction?"
"Again, shut up..."
"Or what? You gonna hit an injured man, lying on the ground? Wouldn't that make all your hard work for redemption look a little pretentious? I mean, you should redeem yourself to me first of all, right mate – no, S-i-r-e I should say..."
With provocative blue eyes, he stared back up at Angel. The dark-haired vampire didn't show any emotion on his face, but he felt that Spike was right, though only in the farthest sense of the word. He had turned Spike. In more than just one way, and even though the other had certainly more than exceeded his evil deeds over the good, he never would have if Angelus had not made him a vampire in the first place. Damn it. He wasn't exactly obliged to help Spike, as he had done what evil vampires do, and it wasn't even this fact that made him decide in favor of Spike, but that this was still his Childe. One that always had followed his lead in one or the other way... literally as well as in the sense of it.... and was now in possession of a soul. He furrowed his brows and bent down to Spike.
"Oh, bugger..." and the blond tried to back away from Angel but hit his head at the nightstand instead.
"Ouch!"
"See – that's what happens to wayward little vampires... serves you right."
"Shut up, you sodding tosser, and help me!"
"..ts, ts, ts.. I should wash yer mouth wit soap and make ye think 'bout bein' a little nicer t’ me pretty boy, or yer goin' t' stay down there a lot longer.." Angel said in broad brogue, his mother tongue still a part of him and conjuring up a far resemblance to Angelus speaking with William. It had the deliberate effect on Spike, stilling him and making him lower his eyes, only prudently sparing a glance through his thick, dark eyelashes, assessing how serious his Sire was about the situation. He couldn't read Angel's expression though and decided to let the moment pass without further comment.
Angel reached around Spike’s chest, heaving him up and on the bed, almost falling atop of him, as Spike didn’t do anything to help the taller vampire. Actually, letting himself hang heavily in the arms of the other and bringing him close to tumble upon him. Angel slightly growled at this, but gathered himself and shoved the blonde’s legs ungentle on the bed as well and threw the blanket over him, utterly covering him. Spike straddled it off his head and yelled after the vanishing back of his Sire.
"Hey! You goin' to let me lie in these sticky sheets, and me being covered with your friggin' semen, oh great poofter?"
"That was my intention. Just help yourself, then God will help you – oh, no I forgot, we are vampires and we don't get his help... so, you're dependent on yourself – and that makes it probably hopeless for you to become clean..." and with this, Angel disappeared into the bathroom, a satisfied grin on his face. He would make sure that Spike learned his place if he wanted to stay here until he had recovered completely. After that, he could do whatever he wanted to do just elsewhere.
Taking a quick shower, Angel got himself cleaned up and finally got the confusingly damn good smell of Spike off his skin, which had lingered around his nose all the time, meddling with his thoughts. Squeezing a well-dosed amount of hair gel into his palm, he rubbed them together, then gelled his dark soft hair into a spiky hairdo with it. He re-entered the bedroom and with a superficial side-glance checked for his Childe.
Obviously, the injured vampire had gone back to sleep despite the stickiness he had complained about earlier and Angel couldn't prevent looking at him a little longer. Albeit the bleached color of his hair, he still had the same face as on the night he was turned. All smooth and pale, high cheekbones and full pink lips, the scar segregating the left eyebrow into two smaller parts and dark, long eyelashes. Angel's heart cringed as he once more could feel Angelus' pride about having preserved and recreated this one, worse he, Angel, took share in this pride, his soul barely able to remind him of what this one creation of his had done to humans.
When Angel had left the room, Spike opened his eyes and furrowed his brows, ha! that stupid git would see how much he needed him, not at all as a matter of fact and intending to prove himself to be right, he robbed to the other side of the bed and let himself drop over the edge onto the floor. The pain was excruciating, but Spike wouldn’t be Spike if his stubbornness wouldn’t help him to reach the bathroom and it did. Scrambling over the floor towards the bathroom door, he got closer inch for inch, finally shoving his body over the threshold onto the cool, tiled floor. There he would just take a short brake, before trying to reach the shower, he had decided. But he fell asleep right away as the effort had burned all the strength he had left, leaving him now lying on the ground, all naked and sticky, dropping into a deep drowse and being washed away by nightmares befuddling his mind, keeping him a prisoner to pain and guilt.
Angel only came back in the evening and found his Childe still like that. He shook his head as he realized it to be the act of an obstinate display of how independent Spike wanted to be, overestimating his strength and ability to be such. He tried anyway – and one must give credit for that’s what had held him alive through all his vampiric existence. Leaving the sleeping vampire on the tiled floor, Angel went to change the bed sheets for the oncoming night. Spike would have to put up with them sleeping together in one bed, it wasn’t like they hadn’t shared one before and he certainly wouldn’t sleep any further night on that damn armchair. Returning to his Childe and swooping the blond up, he carried him back to the bed and placed his limp body on the left side of it. After that he undressed and got underneath the covers as well, lying on his back and distressingly aware of Spike beside him, even thought the younger male still had not moved.
Silence filled the room as both vampires slept motionless, no breath moving their chests and death claiming both bodies just a little more ‘til the end of night.
Still in the morning when Angle awoke slowly, he found his Childe’s face resting in the crook between his neck and shoulder, one hand lying on his belly and the other awkwardly bent underneath and behind Spike’s own body, the fingers of his left hand entwined with those of his Sire’s right hand. Unsure of what he should do, Angel’s body gave the answer, growing a hard erection, but this time he knew he couldn’t give in to it. Spike had clearly stated that he didn’t have the wish of having sex with his Sire, despite the current snuggling up to him. But then it had actually never hindered Angelus to have sex with him anyway, and well, Angel had taken two or three opportunities that had offered themselves as a welcomed chance, but leaving him suffering from post-traumatic-brooding-mode afterwards. This time he wouldn’t do anything. Spike could not even defend himself if he would force him to being penetrated. On former occasions, it had been at least an equal fight, sometimes even suggesting that the younger vampire wanted to be taken, but now it wasn’t like that and Angel decided to let the moment pass. Angelus had raped his Childe on more than one incident, but things were different now, he had changed over the last few decades, which wasn’t only induced by the return of his soul and he didn’t want to do those thing to the other vampire anymore. So instead he shoved Spike off his chest, until he could free his right hand from beneath the body, carefully untangling their fingers. When done, he simply turned his back to the still sleeping male, trying to fall asleep himself once more.
Sleepy blue eyes fluttered open, their owner hardly able to make out a clear picture or stop his thoughts from dancing up and down in his head, finally realizing that he had tried to snug up to his Sire, who was merely turning his back on him. Disappointment flickered in his blue orbs. Though he had made clear that he didn’t want to have sex with Angel, which he had done on several promptings before so far even Angel had ignored that and after a good fight, which Spike could’ve won at least once or almost he had taken his right as a Sire over his Childe to coerce it to the sexual act, which wasn’t just a simple act but a physical and psychological connection. Lust and love alike. And he had let Angel do it to or rather with him just like he had allowed it Angelus, only making enough fuss and throwing curses at Angel to make him believe that his Childe didn’t consent to being dominated by him anymore. But it was just the opposite Spike craved. As William, he had only felt whole calm and satisfied with Angelus around. Still when he had changed, William held on to the early memory of his Sire nevertheless loving the changed vampire just as much as before. But after a while he knew that he wasn’t anything to his Sire anymore and William had no chance to survive, and thus to save his sanity he had turned into Spike, loosing some of it anyway, closing in his feelings, fears, wants and leftover softness deep inside of him, where no one could ever reach it again. He maimed and killed, trying to erase anything that resembled his former self, as it was most obviously disgusting Angelus beyond measure. But whatever he had done, it wasn’t enough to make his Sire’s feelings for him return. And after long, in vain tries, Spike convinced himself, he had no more feelings for Angelus or Angel either, living the denial by showing off contempt and hate for him instead. But he was still hurting. As a human he had been rejected by the woman he loved, but this was even worse – they actually had shared a time together, were lovers and connected to each other, still nothing of it counted when put to the test and that made Spike almost go crazy with pain. But he had learned fast how to subdue the pain. He medicated himself with lots of violence, booze and sex with women, as he couldn’t tolerate any man dominating him, fighting off those who tried, still sometimes he did not win and was dominated whether he wanted it or not.
With one last glare at Angel’s bare back, he rolled over his back upon
his other side, determined to get away from here as soon as possible, his
last thought before falling asleep again, to bury his feelings for anyone
deep inside.
The End