This Life

Author: Minerva

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Angel/Spike, others

Setting: AU, they are human, it's not about vampire slaying

Warning: m/m slash, attempted rape, induced vomiting

Disclaimer: If wishes were horses, they would be mine but as wishes don't happen to be horses, today… they are not.

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One Friday morning in November, Sunnydale High School

Angel was sitting below a willow tree, deeply enthralled by the book he was reading and thus jumped a little when the young man standing in front of him addressed him. The guy had platinum blond hair, obviously bleached, skin that was almost as white as milk and lustrous as silk. The most astonishing blue eyes stood in sharp contrast to his light hair and skin just like the dark colors of his clothing. His lithe, muscular body was wrapped in tight, black, denim jeans and a well clinging tee shirt showing off the fine lining of his pectorals and six-pack, and a long, black leather duster.  Right now, he was standing before Angel with a questioning look on his face. Angel narrowed his eyes and was sure he had missed something the boy had asked him.

"Sorry man didn't quite catch your question. What was it?"

"Was askin' for direction to the library, book-worm… you look like you'd know." The blond gave a mocking smirk and raised a scarred eyebrow, his head slightly tilted to the left.

"Well, I do know but then you don't look like you would find anything of interest there for you, punk-boy." Angel said this in a soft, deep voice not bothering to raise it for putting more menace to his insult.

“Aaaw, you are not getting prissy on me now, don’t ya?" Clapping his dark eyelashes at Angel the young man pretended to be offended. "Don't bother yourself - I'll find my way without your help but thanks for the neat chat… Captain Forehead." Giving him two fingers, the blond circled Angel and headed for the school buildings, passing a group of young adults on his way but ignoring them intentionally.
 

Reaching Angel, they let their backpacks and jackets fall to the grassy ground settling down all around him. Buffy sat down at his right side and gave him a short, friendly peck on the cheek.

"Hey Angel… You know the new kid? How come?" She grinned and let her eyes follow the new student making his way towards the school.

"Actually I do not even know his name. We skipped introduction and started trading insults right away." He smirked at his former girlfriend and now best friend with innocent eyes.

"Great, the Leader of the Pack is already recruiting a new member without even consulting us before!" Xander snorted in disgust always willing to change insults with Angel as both of them rather tolerated than really like each other.

"Stop it, Harris. Not recruiting that little brat at all. He'd probably be a greater pain in the ass than you are - and with him being that what would become of you?" The dark-haired, handsome looking man scowled at the younger man and made a challenging face at him.

"Oh, get over it, the two of you!" Wesley shook his head in annoyance. How could those two even be still alive while fighting all the time? Then, the hostility between them never escalated into physical exchange of blows, which was definitely best for Xander Harris as he was quite a hair shorter than Angel was.

"Well, if you wanna know about our newbie, just asked Queen C. You know that everything like gossip runs through her lines." Gunn snickered as Cordelia made a face at him and sticking her tongue out.

"As if you never listened up when I told a goodie or two… and the stories about our new classmate are quite juicy to begin with."

"Close up, Gunn, and let Cordy tell us the 'juiciness' on our newbie." Fred grinned at him with a teasing twinkle in her eyes.

Gunn and Fred had been a couple for a few weeks, but then Gunn had decided that he wasn't up to get yet into a full blown relationship and they broke up again. Somehow, their friendship had become more of a brother-sister-thing anyways and both were still quite comfy with each other around. It only got a little awkward when two weeks ago Fred decided to admit her feelings for Wesley to him but by now he was dealing with it pretty well. He liked Wesley a lot and knew the young Brit was deeply in love with Fred even though he'd not told anyone, yet one would have to be blind and dumb to not see the truth.

So now, she was snuggling up to Wes and they exchanged a tender gaze.

"Aaaw, look at the two love-birds. Don't make us all sick by gawking at each other like that now all day… and you know I mean that in the nicest, possible way, right!" Xander looked pointedly at the young couple and smiled brightly at them.  "So what's it the Powers That Be tell us about the little Bleach-Boy?"

"Well, he comes from England like our dear Wesley here. But moved to the states a few years back when his parents got divorced because his mum is American. She has a new boyfriend, which is the reason she decided to move to Sunnydale. And…"

"I thought you wanted to tell us about him, not his mum." Willow and Tara chorused in unison and then started laughing at each other. The two practicing Wicca and mutual lovers had once again had the same thought and voiced it at the same time.

"I am coming to that but this is common background information, which might turn out valid one day… 'Bout him… he's a troublemaker. Always stirs up some kind of fight over anything. Had a leg over more than a handful of girls at his old school back in LA. Even humped the principle's daughters - right you heard - plural. He spent the last six-month back in England with his dad. But make a guess, he wasn't living with his dad and dad's new girlfriend but…"

"This is all very - err - interesting, Cordy, but you missed something important I would consider. What the hell is his name?"

Wesley had become annoyed by Cordelia's mindless rambling and wanted the subject to be done and over with. They certainly had to consider things more important than this. There would be lots of exams in the following weeks as the semester was almost over. He actually had nothing to worry about because he was an excellent student but he was worrying about it anyway. It wasn't because he was idle but his family held high expectations and his father so far had never been satisfied with anything he had accomplished. This was his senior year and he wanted good if not great final examination results.

"If you keep interrupting me Wes, I'll make Gunn tie you up and gag you. And you know he would do it, right Gunn?"

Raising his hands in mock defeat, the young Brit surrendered to the beautiful cheerleader knowing he couldn't persuade her mind to a more earnest subject.

"Very sorry about the interruption, please go on with it. Where did he stay if not with his father?"

"You won't guess! He was staying at a correctional facility for teenagers who got into trouble with the law and abused prescribed medications!" She looked into the faces of her friends with a triumphant smile plastering her countenance. Indeed, she had been able to stun them with surprise.

"And for his name, we-ell, his birth records state that he was baptized with the name of William, but he is called - and now listen up people - S-P-I-K-E!"

At first, everyone just exchanged astounded glances but then they all started laughing out loud at the ridiculous name. The girls went sprawling on the floor holding their stomachs with spasms of laughter while the guys held more of composure, still grinning though.

"Poor guy, must be really hard to be called like a dog, but my guess is that with that appearance 'William' would just scream for making fun of him." Buffy gasped out between fits of laughter.

Angel nudged her slightly in one side and grinned at his former love.

"And Buffy is just so much better, sweetheart, aye?"

Before Buffy could give some kind of sarcastic retort about the fact that Angel's real name was 'Liam' and that Gunn's first name was 'Charles', the school-bell rang and cut any further discussion short. Everyone jumped up grabbing stuff and brushing off clothes and then they were heading for the classrooms inside the modern buildings of the Sunnydale High School.

~~~

While Xander and Cordelia went to a history class, Buffy, Willow, and Tara were heading for English literature. Beside Wesley, it was Angel, Gunn, and Fred who were seniors as well. Fred was the youngest of them but the pretty 'science-nerd' had skipped ninth and tenth grade going straight to eleventh grade and was by now preparing herself for college like the three guys. They waved back to their friends and made their way to the science labs in the extra wing behind the main building.

As the three girls reached the classroom, their teacher Mr. Giles who also inherited the status as the Sunnydale High librarian, came around the next corner with the new student in tow. He smiled at them and slowed down a little, giving them time to enter the room before him and thus not having to give them an official warning for being too late. That's why almost all pupils approached Mr. Giles with friendliness and respect; they liked his honesty and fairness to them, even though he was a little stiff in his manners. He happened to be British like Wesley and the new guy.

For Buffy it sometimes was a little awkward to have him as a teacher because he was dating her mother Joyce but she got along with him really well and he treated her just like any other student not giving anyone the impression of preferring her before the others.

Standing in front of his class, Rupert Giles half turned to the young man who had followed him into the room. He hadn't yet decided whether he like the boy or not as he felt slightly intimidated by his looks and behavior. There had actually been a teacher's conference just for this new student where they got informed about his school-records, which seemed to be as long as the Interstate 15.

Now he was in charge of his young countryman. He was, and for the first time he somewhat regretted it, a so-called 'Watcher' at the local social services center which helped kids, who had gotten into trouble with the law or drugs and were likely to drop out of High School because of that.

"Class, I would like to introduce you to your new classmate, William. He comes from LA but was born and raised in England. William, would you like to add something?"

"You call me William and you'll eat your meals through a straw for the next month. The name is Spike." Spike looked calm and determined a cool smile playing his features.

"Err, well, that's not exactly what I meant but I believe you made your point clear enough. Take a seat then so we can begin with the lesson. There's a seat beside Buffy. Buffy, I would like you to help William…" A menacingly look hit him and he decided to rather play along. "I mean Spike, to find his way around school. The two of you have the same courses and you could help him get up to date with the material in each one over the next few days."

Buffy heaved a sigh and gritted her teeth, plastering a complying smile on her face. This was just bad, bad luck to get stuck with this little brat.

"Sure Mr. Giles, I'll bring him up to mid-term level next week…" She hoped her subtle hint would be taken.

But the teacher was already searching through his papers and didn't pay attention to his student's hidden complaint.

During their exchange, Spike had taken his place at Buffy's right side beside the windows. He had put a college block on his desktop and started writing down today's date and notes of the lecture Mr. Giles was starting on. He was left-handed. His hands were slender with long fingers but on his fingernails he had chipped, black nail polish. Without even turning his head towards the pretty girl, he muttered under his breath just loud enough for her to hear it.

"Just my lucky day today."

Buffy turned her head and was about to hiss some ironic remark when her eyes caught sight of four round, purple and blue bruises on the young man's neck, which looked exactly like fingerprints. She grimaced. So someone had already had the idea of choking the teenager and she withheld a comment, even though wondering who had how been able to lay a hand on the guy. Instead, she returned her attentions back to Mr. Giles and his lectures about Victorian Poetry. She would have a whole week to deal with the other one and shouldn't waste more time than necessary by thinking about him.

Finally, it was three o'clock and the school bell released all of them from being prisoners any further. It was Friday afternoon and they had an extended weekend ahead of them with Monday free because of the teachers' mid-term excursion.

Same Friday, evening, The Bronze

It was dark, it was smoky, and the live band on stage was blaring out loud. They were good and lots of people were dancing ecstatically on the dance floor. Reaching a group of people, he stopped beside a dark woman who was giggling girlishly at the jokes of a good-looking guy he slightly recognized. On his right arm, a blond woman had draped her left hand leisurely around him and scanned the billowing crowd of people passing her by. When he met her gaze her eyes narrowed and her features darkened.

"William - oh sorry - of course I meant to say 'Spike', you found your way here. Was already wondering where you were …"

"Oow, Spike, my love. You are here - that is so good of you! Have you met Luke already? He's such a charmer - are you not Luke!"

Spike rolled his eyes and gave the other man a short nod. They had met once or twice but held no interest for each other. Instead, he kissed Drusilla on her bared shoulder and made a face at Darla.

"Hello, pet. Darla. Gonna go to the bar and get myself a cold beer, coming with me or are you tied up?"

Drusilla snickered and turned back to Luke. "He's still jealous of every other man around me, isn't that sweet! Willy, you know we are not together anymore so go and bark up someone else's tree."

"If you pay I will accompany you to the bar, little cousin, and we can have a short chat as well." Darla faked her sweetest smile on him and changed from Luke's right side to Spike's left side, digging her sharp, red polished fingernails into his arm.

Spike's face stayed devoid of any kind of emotion simply consenting to pay her a drink.

Reaching the bar, he ordered pure vodka for both of them, hers with a dash of lemon juice, and a beer. Darla leaned slightly against the counter and faced him with a mocking grin on her face.

"Still following Drusilla around like a true puppy, aren't you? You should give it up Spike - she dumped you twice now, do you really want to embarrass yourself any more?"

"Was in LA then, now I'm here, that should make a difference." He knew that it wouldn't. And by now, he didn't even care any more. It wasn't the love it had been in the beginning. If it ever had been something at all. She was a woman and even though he liked women and the sex he had with them he somehow had accidentally fallen in love with a man. It wasn't in return and so it was a lost cause. By now, it felt like it had happened a century ago – when it really was only 12 month.

"I know you don't believe that yourself." Lowering her voice to a whisper, she teased him some more. "And we both know who you would prefer to have between your parted legs, am I right?"

Spike clenched his jaws and tried to ignore her but it was hard as it had been her brother, his own cousin, whom he had tried to kiss and who had laughed at him with scorn about a teenager's crush.

12 month ago - but it felt like a lifetime – still not long enough.

He had tried to forget about it. Had tried out drugs, hard sex for that matter and found that a spot of violence could really make a point, well, or if not - at least it relieved him of the caged up anger and frustration he felt.

Outstanding was the beginning of his total denial of the feelings he had had for the other man. He wasn't interested in men and most certainly; he didn't have the wish to get buggered up his ass by one. Nope, definitely not. Not anymore…

So deep in thought, he jumped slightly as the deep, soft voice of Angel addressed Darla and him.

"Hello Darla. Spike. You two know each other? Why doesn't that surprise me very much? Sorry, I am interrupting your mutual, friendly conversation… just grabbing my drink and leave you to yourself again."

Angel grinned as he said this. He could feel the almost tangible tension between the young man and his ex-ex-girlfriend and couldn't help but pity the blond because he knew that Darla had been obviously pushing hot pokers through him just before he had appeared. Spike's strained features were a candid display of fury and… well, hurt it seemed.

"By the way, is 'The Master' around tonight?" He asked nonchalantly, knowing the man he was asking for was with his 'friend' Penn. He noticed the tensing of Spike's body at the nickname of Darla's brother.

"Right behind you, mate," came the prompt answer. Both, Angel and Spike swirled around facing two tall, dark-blond men with manly and slightly edgy features. Both were handsome but the slightly smaller man had a cruel touch to his mouth. As if to underline that he grabbed Spike's face in a very ‘not gentle’ way and somewhat shook him.

“Hey there little cousin – glad you could make it.” Mean grin.

The blond jerked his head back, freeing himself and growled at his relative. He now held only harsh feelings for Lindsey since his humiliation as he was being teased and mocked by him once too often and the feeling of embarrassment and anger held a firm grip on his pride.

"Get your hands off me, stupid git!" Getting touched by someone he disliked made Spike feel sick. With a hard shove, he brought more distance between them. Then he snatched the beer the bartender had put on the counter before him only seconds ago and pushed by between Darla and Angel to avoid any further physical contact with 'The Master' or the man standing at his side.

"Still Love's Bitch, right Spike!" His cousin shouted after him with mockery.

Spike snarled back at him and continued to fight his way towards the entrance to leave.

Angel couldn't hold back a grin and took a hold of his beer turning to leave, too. "Not one of your biggest admirers I dare say." That fact made Spike move up on his list, as he himself didn't belong to them. Lindsey, 'The Masters' real name, wasn't one he wanted to have as a friend. Still, he knew he had sort of free reigns with him because of an interest Lindsey harbored for him.

Taking off in a seemingly casual stride, he had made a decision before he was becoming aware that his feet carried him to the front door intending to follow Spike outside.
 

Sitting on some crates, his beer bottle set aside, Spike used a pocketknife to scrape off the black polish of his fingernails. He didn't even bother to look up when Angel approached him and settled down on the crates as well.

"Watch it boy, before you hurt yourself with your little toy."

"What do you care? Leave me alone." Spike didn't know what else to say. Without removing his stare from the knife, he deliberately and slowly cut into the skin at his right wrist until it was bleeding.

"You should stop that before I decide to take that knife away from you, you moron." Angel felt uneasy but didn't know what else he should say to the other one.

"Yeah right, you bloody wanker as if you could do that!" Spike snorted derisively at the older youth. Without being able to do something about it, he suddenly felt a strong grip on his left hand and getting it twisted 'til he dropped the knife to the ground.

"See how I can do that? It's almost as easy as taking a little boy's sucker away." And with that, Angel gave the knife a good kick with his booted foot making it slither across the alley.

Spike gasped in pain and tried to wriggle his wrist out of Angel's firm hold.

"Let go of me! That friggin' hurts!" He almost growled this at the dark-haired man and when he got free backed away and started sucking at the wound on his right wrist to catch the blood running down his hand.

"Are you stupid that is how you can get an infection. Take this and press it on the cut." Angel waved a white tissue in front of Spike's eyes. But the blond simply pushed him aside and instead slipped the sleeve of his coat back over his arm and stood up.

"Tell anyone about this and you can kiss several body parts goodbye." He hissed under his breath embarrassed that Angel had gotten the better of him.

"I won't tell stories. But maybe you need to tell one?"

"Got nothing to say to you, frickin' pillock, or anyone for that matter…" Spike spit out the words and pushed past Angel.

"Hey… go to an ER and let someone have a look. Maybe you need some stitches."

He didn't know whether Spike had heard him as the blond disappeared into the shadows behind a street lamp without answering him.

This was just great. They had only met twice and each time they did have a fight. Shaking his head slowly like it would make his thoughts clearer, Angel got up himself and went back inside The Bronze.

He was not going to fall for the Big Bad act this time and certainly he wouldn't lose his heart to another freaked-out dumb head who was trying to bring him 'round the bend.

~~~

Following Sunday, evening, Party at 'The Host's' house, celebration of the teachers' excursion.

Chatting and walking along the sidewalk the Scooby-Gang reached their destination, a white three story mansion, which spilled out laughing and, or drunken teenagers who settled on the veranda or the front lawn making quite a riot.

"So why are we here again?" Wesley had his doubts about the booze-up that was supposed to be a harmless party for teenagers. It had clearly gotten a little out of hand in his opinion.

"To have some fun, some booze and some girls, Wes. Ok, you got your girl already but you shouldn't rest before your friends are settled as well." Gunn sniggered at Wesley poking his index finger into the other man's back. "Angel here really needs a girlfriend again. All that brooding and staying on his own doesn't improve his social skills."

Angel groaned slightly and tried to argue himself out of tonight's obvious goal to get him a new girlfriend.

"Really no need for that Gunn. I'm more content this way at the moment. Not quite liked the last two times I got laid. Remember, evil, with a like for destruction?"

"Duh - Now that's a compliment, thanks a lot Soulboy!" Buffy sounded offended.

"Oh c'mon… you know exactly how it's meant so don't go staking me." He would have liked the earth to open and swallow him but of course, that never happened when you needed it. Buffy only mumbled an outwardly indifferent answer but decided it not worth to argue about furthermore.

Most of the time, it was ok for Angel to be alone, just sometimes he was longing for the rush of a new love. For the relish of first kisses and first touches. Instantly a face popped up before his inner eye. Pallid, smooth skin and liquid blue eyes, glowing with a passion that promised to devour you. He groaned as it was dawning to him that he was about to give his heart away, to someone who wouldn't take kindly to another man offering him affection.

Coming out of his reverie, he felt the anticipating scrutiny of his friends.

"Yes, sure there isn't someone you would like to get your hands on?" Cordelia was blunt as always because she was far too curious to just keep an observing eye on her friend and wait.

"Oh, c'mon General Grumpy Pants, spill the beans! Who is it you're having an eye on?" With his usual insulting Xander tried to loosen the older man's tongue, trying him to give a rash answer.

"No one." He answered short. They wouldn't understand his interest in a man and he didn't want them to feel awkward with him or his sexual preferences.

"No! Angel, this is not going to be a revival of the Angelus-Darla-Penn times, right? That's how it started the last time - with not telling us about your new love interest in the first place!" Growing agitation tinting his voice, Wesley stopped short, putting a hand on Angel's arm.

"Right man, you should trust us. You know what happened before, you turning into a walking kamikaze on a mission. Just tell us so we can prepare ourselves for the worst."
Gunn as well tried to persuade Angel, pointing out the worst time of their long-lived friendship when Angel's personality had turned upside down and had worn down their friendship to the lowest level possible before catching himself.

Angel's face was distorted with the guilt he still felt about his 'soulless' times.

"This is different. All that I liked about Darla and Penn was that I knew how bad they were and it was what I craved. There's nothing like that now."

"Well, if that issue is settled, let's go and party."

Willow and Tara had maintained silent, always feeling uneasy when there was a dispute between any of the Scoobies. Tara hadn't been around yet when Angel had his Angelus time and got therefore no clue how bad the situation had been then. But she was sensitive and felt the tension that had come up with the subject.

Willow remembered that time with horror but in fact, she had been the only one but Buffy who had finally managed to get through to the real Angel making him return to the right path.

"That's why we are here. Right everyone, let's show these commoners how to really make a bash!" Cordelia was over it first and did her best to get the gang back into gear.

Giving himself a mental shake, Wesley squeezed Angel's arm lightly giving him a twisted grin while Gunn patted his shoulder roughly. The anxiety resolved into thin air. They knew each other for far too long to let some past bad thing get the better of them. Taking up other subjects they made their way towards the house giggling and joking again soon enough.

~~~

Same place, same party, two hours later.

Spike was sitting on a bar stool at the far side of the living room watching the people come and go through the two-winged entrance-door listening only absently to Drusilla's rambling about her precious doll-collection, which was growing constantly with each business trip her father was taking. Sitting at his other side was Penn confusing him with gentle touches to his back or his thigh every now and then asking him about personal stuff and displaying a pushy attention.

With each hour that had passed since their arrival Spike started feeling increasingly worn out. Generally, he was in great party-constitution but tonight was off somehow.

"Wanna have a little something to get you back up?" Penn asked tentatively.

"You got some uppers?"

"Sure. Let's go outside. Others needn't see me giving you stuff for free." Jumping up all too enthusiastically. Spike gave him a wary grin but despite knowing better, he got up with Penn following him through the dining room and through the kitchen to the back door into a small backyard.

~~~

Settling down in a dark corner Penn handed Spike three small, white pills with an imprint of a square in a circle, which was the sign of its source labs. Actually, Penn himself who as a student of chemistry knew how to do it and since was making it an additional income had cooked it up.

"Thanks mate. Wouldn't make it through the night without your little helpers."

"Won't make it now." Penn whispered with a malicious smile tugging at his lips. A shudder of expectation for what's to come crawled over his body and he tipped his head back against the wall watching Spike from the corners of his eyes lighting a cigarette inhaling the smoke and releasing it with a sigh.

They sat together in mutual silence and after a few minutes the pills started to take effect. Slowly Spike's eyelids got heavier and heavier. His head fell back against the wall and a leaden weariness clouded his mind. Drifting into a state of half-unconsciousness he couldn't hold himself upright anymore and was sliding sideways to the ground. Rather feeling than seeing Penn move he felt the other man straddling him his face suddenly close to his own. His head was spinning and colorful pinpoints were dancing before his eyes.

"What'd you give me, you bloody pisser?" His word came out slurred.

"Shush, just something to relax you a little. It's all right, I won't hurt you - much."

Pinning Spike's wrists down beside his shoulders Penn leaned down and pressed his lips harshly on the younger man's slightly open mouth pushing his tongue inside letting it wander within the warm cavern. He lavishly swept over the soft palate and blunt row of glistening white teeth.

Spike felt the tongue invading him searching his insides and stroking him roughly. He was faintly aware that he was kissing Penn back and because the other had given him the stuff for free, he contemplated to let Penn go on with the kissing. Actually, it felt really good and made his heart start a giddy little dance. He was kissing another man for real the first time.

He wasn't considering that this might go far beyond some hot kisses. When Penn started grinding his crotch against his own searing sensations shot from his groin through his whole body making him groan with anticipation.

"You like this? Want some more?" Penn moaned into his mouth still licking and sucking his lips and pulled Spike's tee shirt out of the waistband of his jeans pushing it up to feel the soft skin underneath.

"It's… I don't… " Bucking his hips up against Penn Spike didn't know anymore than that his body started to feel like it was burning up with bolts of heat. But it wasn't feeling right. His body said yes but his mind told him something was off and far too familiar. Only slowly wrapping his brain around his actions, it came to him that Penn had not given him uppers but some kind of what must be a turn-on drug.

A hand started undoing his belt pulling his zipper down and getting a hold on his hard cock. It didn't feel right. It didn't feel good anymore as his whole body seemed to be on fire. His dick was far too sensitive to get any kind of pleasure from being rubbed by an unknown hand and he started struggling against his restraint position.

"Penn! Stop it! I don't want this."

"Too late, sweetheart. Just relax and let me take care of your needs." Penn's voice was hoarse with arousal. He felt far from wanting to stop this. And he would fuck Spike if he wanted it or not.

~~~

Angel made his excuses to the group of seniors he was talking to and made his way up to Gunn and Wesley who were standing beside the beer barrel joking and laughing with the man who was 'The Host' of the party. Lorne was somewhat older and had graduated from Sunnydale High like one year earlier and by now was running a very profitable club for the high society of Sunnydale. Still he kept his promise to his friends to give at least one outstanding High School-Party-Event every three month as long as they were still attending the Sunnydale High.

Right then he was struggling with the nearly empty keg trying to argue it into giving up its last content.

"Lorne, my throat is getting awfully dry, you got a full one left?" Gunn tipped his blue cup against the it and raised a questioning eyebrow at the host.

"Sweet-cheeks, you know where I hold my liquor, just take these two studs, and get another one, will you?" Lorne loved to address people and especially Angel with animated nicknames. Some were offended by it but Angel was in good humor tonight and let it slip without further comment.

"Sure Lorne." Nodding at his two friends to follow him, he walked them to the backdoor that was leading into a small yard where the entrance to the cellar was placed.

~~~

Chitchatting about the things they had talked about with classmates, they were ignorant to the muffled sounds outside until they had stepped out and closed the door again.

Staring in surprise, it took them a few moments to grasp the reality of the situation on the ground before them.

Penn who held a determined grip onto one of Spike's wrists was trying to keep the young man beneath him down while his other hand was pushing and pulling on Spike's denims. The blond was moaning but not from pleasure pushing his one free hand against Penn's chest to shove him off.

"Penn STOP! I don't want this! Let go of me!" Anger became evident in his voice as he knew instinctively he wasn't holding a chance against the taller, obviously stronger and un-drugged man.

A sudden punch to his chin fazed him even more and all he could do was grab at the fabric underneath his hand trying to hold on to something that would keep him from falling down a deep black hole.

Realizing what it was that Penn attempted to do and seeing a second punch coming on the three other men jumped forward catching the fist in mid-flight and dragging Penn off of Spike who rolled over to his side with a relieved groan.

Holding Penn's arms behind his back Angel and Gunn prevented any further attacks. But the young man didn't try to escape their hold as he realized it would do him no good. He knew Angel's strength and ability to inflict pain on someone and even though he wasn't afraid of him, he just decided to stay calm. It wouldn't take long before he could get his hands on the blond again.

He would most probably come out of his own free will in pursuit of some little white pills again. All possible connections came down to Penn and if he would let slip the word that no one was supposed to sell Spike anything but to send him to him he was sure to see him on all his fours before long. And he who knew one person who would love to take advantage of that as well.

Spike was still lying on the ground and it was obvious he couldn't get up by himself anytime soon. Wesley knelt down beside him and checked his pulse and eyes. The pulse was irregular and the pupils dilated to black holes.

"What did you give him?" He simply asked knowing that it had to be drugs because it was Penn they were dealing with.

"Some 'Bloody Marys' and lots of booze mate. But hey, he asked for it and I delivered not me to blame here." Penn couldn't help but be sarcastic in any situation.

"You fucked-up, little bastard. I'm pretty sure he didn’t ask for a rape drug for himself." Angel felt a deep anger welling inside. He knew the effects of a 'Bloody Mary', Penn's own concoction, by his own experience with it though those had been definitely better ones. It needed only one of those pills to really turn you on and relax you at the same time. Perfect for a fuck-fest. Or if you took several perfect to get raped.

"How long ago?" He asked twisting Penn's arm a little to emphasize his point.

"Aow - ten or fifteen minutes ago!" He spit out the answer.

They gave Penn a hard shove pushing him to the opposite side of the yard and stepped up to Wesley helping him to get Spike to his feet.

"It's probably too long but we should try it anyway." Wesley made a suggesting gesture towards a small window that belonged to the guest-bathroom. Angel and Gunn nodded and hooked up their drooping load starting their walk towards the door. Wesley opened it and led them to the little bathroom in the back of the house.

Spike blinked at the bright light his eyes stinging, not able to focus and a throbbing pain in his head. He felt sick and the blurred shape of the toilet made him feel even sicker but he fought it down. He hated vomiting, was doing it far to often when he had too much to drink and now he wasn't even alone.

"Spike, let it go. You have to get rid of the alcohol and the pills." They saw how the blond was fighting his sickness, struggling to get away from the toilet but they were holding on keeping him on his knees and bent over it.

"No, I don't want to throw up." Breathing forcefully in and out he tried everything to keep his insides in.

"Well, Angel, you're 'The Dark Avenger' so you'll get to do the honors." Gunn made a nauseated face and took a step back bumping into Wesley who had closed the door behind them and was holding the knob firmly to stop any possible intrusion.

Angel made a face and shrugged his shoulders dismissively. Reaching forward with his right hand, he quickly stuffed his middle and ring finger into Spike's mouth; pressing in deeper, he pushed the tip of them right down the throat and tried to trigger the gagging-reflex.

Spike's body shuddered once or twice giving him the chance to withdraw his hand in time before the blond lost his fight against his body's convulsions and started heaving violently.

~~~

Still having to support Spike to stand upright Angel and Gunn each took hold of an arm carefully making their way through the party-crowd towards Lorne.

"What's up with 'The Bleached Wonder', Angel-cakes? He looks like shit." Lorne gave Spike the once over. "Hey, did he take something? You know I don't want kids do drugs in my house."

"Tell that 'Mr.-I-can't-get-a-leg-over-girls-or-boys-without-drugs' over there.”

Angel scanned the room for Penn and his friends. Meeting the gaze of Lindsey he could see Penn talking to him obviously telling what had happened as the young man was smiling every now and then enjoying the story profoundly.

“Gave him some luckies and tried to get one in return." Angel growled at 'The Host'.

“You know they cook and sell why still let them come here?”

"Sorry, thought we were in the clear about that stuff. Not going to happen again. So, what do you want to do with him? No good letting him go home like this. Here, get yourselves a treat on my account, take him to 'Willy's' and get some coffee into him to sober up and something to eat for all of you."

He then narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me, gentlemen, I got to handle something." And he left them heading for the agitators while giving some flunky the orders to get the forgotten keg of beer.

"You go outside with him and I'll try to catch Xander and the girls, ok?" Not waiting for an answer Wesley dived into crowd of people who were enjoying the music in search of the other Scoobies.

Angel and Gunn directed their unsteady load through the living room and out the door. The fresh night-air hit their faces clearing their minds. Hobbling down the driveway they settled down on the edge of the sidewalk to wait for Wesley, Xander, and the girls.

"You feelin' better now?" Angel took in the roughed up appearance of the smaller man.

"Yeah, got the bloody hell rid of everything I had to drink tonight - if that doesn't sober one up." Spike held his still aching head between his hands and was wishing himself to be somewhere far away.

"We'll get some coffee in to you anyways before you go home. Otherwise they gonna stuck ya right back into rehab or something like that." Gunn said this with caution not knowing how the other  would react to a subtle hint like that.

Before Spike could give a spiteful comment as was his intention Angel and Gunn's friends crowded them with inquisitive questions and comments.

Looking up at Wesley with a questioning gaze all three men wanted to know what he'd told Xander and the girls. Spike hoped desperately it hadn't been the truth or if the truth not all of it. The Brit was a gentleman and simply shook his head indicating that he didn't tell the whole story.

"Hey! Stop the shouting. Not everyone has to know what happened even though I'm sure Lindsey's gonna spread the story with a twist of his own to it." Angel let his eyes rest on Spike's bowed head knowing that he was still feeling sick.

"Did you drink Angel? Otherwise I could drive 'cause I haven't."

Wesley had been the one supposed to stay clear-headed and give them a ride home. But now it was still too early to call it an evening and despite that they had gotten some cash from 'The Host' to get themselves a good midnight treat of yummy food at 'Willy's".

"No, didn't even have a swig of that damn fine whiskey Lorne told me he would get. Well, let's go boys and girls. Have ourselves some good food at least."

"Err, thanks for your - help - but I think I'll take a walk." Spike had tried to think up any kind of excuse but failed to produce one sounding plausible in the light of the previous event. All he knew was that he couldn't stand to be around anyone right now especially if it were the three guys who knew about his regrettable encounter with Penn.

"You sure you don't want coffee or something else? 'Cause it's on Lorne's bill and you can order something decent, so tonight's a revelation sort of." Buffy offered the invitation despite believing they would be better off without the troublesome blond.

At the word 'revelation' he narrowed his eyes trying to detect any hidden meaning behind it but Buffy's face was earnest and open.

"Bugger, revelation it is." He muttered that under his breath only then speaking up.

"I walk… thanks." Answering the question gruffly he tried to offend in need of keeping at least one scrap of his dignity.

Shrugging her shoulders neither Buffy nor one of the others made any further effort to talk him into something else. He wasn't a friend not even acquaintance was a fitting description for the few days they knew him and he didn't look like he needed someone to take him by the hand.

All but Angel soon forgot about Spike as they made their way to the car and drove to 'Willy's'. Only Wesley and Gunn noticed that the dark-haired man was still occupied with serious thoughts keeping him from having a relaxed chill-out with his friends.

~~~

Six weeks later, December, between Christmas and New Years Eve, The Bronze.

Shaking his head in disbelieving anger once again Angel's eyes were resting on the group standing beside the stairs to the upper level. With them was Spike who, despite what Penn had tried on him, had not been able to stay away from them. Yet he was spending less time with his old friends mostly keeping to himself and only sometimes would stop for a talk with the Scooby Gang.

In vain, Spike had tried to keep his distance to either group but as Darla and Lindsey were family, he couldn't just cut the strings that were binding him to them while on the other side he felt relentlessly drawn to Angel.

For the Scoobies it still wasn't easy talking to him. Spike stayed unattached, cynical, and even blatantly unfriendly even though he was somehow seeking their company.

Disturbing Spike the most was the fact that he couldn't stay away from Penn. He didn't even like the chum but the other had ignited an aching desire, which the blond was desperately trying to ignore.

Difficulty was that Penn seemed to have other things in mind as well and pursued his interest in Spike. He didn't do it openly only subliminally pushing the blond's buttons. Every touch, every look, every word as harmless as it seemed had the underlying purpose of catching Spike's attention.

But all the time Spike was painfully aware of whom he actually wanted. Every day of those last six weeks had been a contemptuous dance with the other man. Frustrating attempts to get closer to Angel yet knowing he couldn't reach him. He literally had a hard time denying his resurfacing needs of bodily contact to another man and he was confused and angry.

Penn had figured out soon enough that the young man held a secret passion for Angel and he had shared his thoughts on that matter with Lindsey. Darla's brother had noticed in return that Angel had shown more than a subtle interest in matters concerning Spike and together the two man figured out a way to misuse that knowledge.

Lindsey was furious and jealous knowing that Angel felt attracted to the young punk rather than consider him a suitable partner. But as Angel didn't want him he sure as hell would do anything in his power to hinder the handsome man to get with Spike. Even better if it meant Spike would suffer from it as well. Lindsey already regretted not having taken the chance to bed the bleach-blond when he'd offered himself, well, not really offered himself but had acknowledge to have feelings for him. If his plan succeeded he would certainly get another chance. If not with Angel at least with the other one’s object of affection.

~~~

By now, Penn was getting impatient with Spike. It was already six weeks, which he had invested into his game and up 'til now it didn't pay at all.

Sure, he had noticed he had successfully given the young man hints about his intentions but so far, he kept fighting any lure Penn would lay out. So tonight he decided he would go directly for it.

In Spike's opinion the night couldn't get worse. Every time he turned his head or moved to another place, he either saw Angel or Penn. One trying to avoid contact the other forcing for it. He knew he eventually had to have a talk with Angel at least explaining that he couldn't reject his family-ties and in conclusion wasn't able to stay away from Penn. The actual reason why Angel was angry with him was beyond his knowledge.

"Hey Spike. You need something to lift your spirits?" A hand was placed at the small of his back the fingertips intently pressing into his flesh.

"Bugger it all," the younger man muttered under his breath. "Yeah, you got something good? Not those 'Bloody Mary's' though. Didn't frickin' enjoy them the first time."

"Aaaw - but I genuinely remember you enjoying it a lot, well, at least your body told me you did." Penn whispered in his ear exhaling hot breath against the skin of his neck making him quiver.

"Should've given me only one maybe then I'd been able to show you what I really like." Coming to a decision Spike made a hesitant step forward.

"You could show me now." Penn fixed his eyes on him a suggestive little smile twisting his mouth.

"You want me to?"

"Let's go outside. Got a nice delicacy for you - even better than a 'Bloody Mary', believe me…"

Making their way towards the exit, they were being watched by Gunn and Wesley.

"He's not doing what he's doing right now, is he?" Wesley couldn't believe his eyes and slapped the palm of one hand against his forehead.

"Well, he's either pretty dumb or… no, definitely dumb there. What's his goal by repeating this all over again, the stupid little brat? So not gonna save his ass this time!"

"You think we should tell Angel? I'm pretty sure he won't be too happy about this. He's still on a taking-care trip for Captain Peroxide even though he doesn't admit it." Wes felt sorry for his friend and wanted to spare him from getting disappointed.

"Yeah, he's gonna find out sooner or later, better hear it from us though. What I don't get is - why does Spike risk his ass by going with Penn? And that's meant literal. So, either he wants those drugs really badly or he's cheering for the other team. Your guess?"

"I would go with the cheering-thing but don't tell Angel, gives him just something else to worry about if we did and would make him try to help the guy come out of the closet - a therapist just like his old man."

Shoving their way through the crowds of people gathered around the dance floor they spotted Angel with Buffy, Cordelia and Fred right in its middle. Admiring eyes of girls and jealous stares of guys throwing daggers were all around the foursome. Angel's strong frame, dark hair, and dark eyes in a face with almost angelic features made him extremely attractive. The three girls could hold up their own as each one had most a delicious body, pretty face and long hair that was soft and shiny wallowing down the back.

Right now, they were engaged in a most sensual display of rolling shaking hips and body rubbing. Both men grinned at the gaping looks of the people around clearly mesmerized by the eroticism of that dance.

As if someone had told him Angel lifted his eyes and caught sight of his two friends waving at him. He could read from the expression on their faces that something was off and instantly gave up his place moving over to his two buds.

"What's wrong?" He asked feeling an awkward tickle in his stomach.

"You not gonna like it man but Bleach-Boy just left along with Penn. And Penn looks like the cat about to eat the canary." Breaking the news to Angel wasn't easy for them and like they had anticipated, his eye flashed with anger.

"Treacherous little brat… he deserves to get his brains fucked out by Penn but not before I give him a lecture about betraying friends." Angel growled and pushed Wesley and Gunn aside and was stomping for the exit. As his two friends started following him, he stopped short and turned around.

"Don't bother yourselves with the little fucker, just goin' to give him a rough up to clear the ground."

"Angel, why do you still care what he does or doesn't do with Penn? You tried to help him but obviously he does not want your help…" Treading on shaky terrain, as he didn't know why it was of such importance to Angel to look after the punk-kid Wesley was asking this with prudence concern.

Straightening his back and closing his eyes for a moment Angel considered his answer not quite sure there was a right one.

"I don't know what to say. Yes, he irritates me just like he does you and sometimes I have the urgent need to gag him to keep him from spilling out any more of his thoughtless blabber but only because I'm sure he knows better than that. Let me try one last time to crack it to him and if he still doesn't get it I'll give it up."

Both men understood. They could feel the serious concern of their friend about Spike and they nodded their heads in agreement staying behind as Angel made his way to the exit.

~~~

Outside he scanned the area in front of The Bronze but couldn’t make out either Penn or Spike being around. Considering the options for having some privacy around the club he decided to circle the building to its back where he knew some dark backyard was situated. Trying to walk as silently as possible he followed the alley on the right side of The Bronze, which was leading to the back of the structure.

He hadn’t yet decided what he would say to Spike. The current situation left him somewhat insecure about the young man’s intentions but judging by his actions he was on a steady quest for getting himself into trouble. Would he even be able to get through his thick skull and make a point? And by the way, what was his point?

“Ok, admitted. I want him and if I cannot have him I am sure as hell won’t let Penn have a poke.” Angel only mumbled this to himself and tried to make it sound lightly but saying it out aloud suddenly made it real. Made him realize that this was exactly the reason why he kept getting involved.

Right then he turned the corner reaching the small cobblestone yard at the rear end of the building. The sight before him cut deep.

Penn was pressed against Spike, pushing him into the wall. With rapacious strain, he was kissing the blond, greedily pushing his tongue inside a willing mouth. He sucked and licked the already slightly swollen and deeply reddened lips.

To Angel’s disappointment this view made more than clear that Spike wanted what Penn was giving him as he fervently returned the kiss. Both men were letting out lust-filled moans and Penn’s hand was already working its way down between the other one’s crotch and started caressing the hardness beneath the denim. With one knee, he pressed Spike’s legs further apart to get better access. With his other hand he started to unbuckle his belt, opened his zipper and with a steadfast grip on the younger man’s wrist leading a diffident hand to his own throbbing hard-on.

Angel couldn’t hold back an angry hiss escaping his throat, which made the two young men jump with surprise. Startled and embarrassed Spike abruptly tried to withdraw his hand from Penn’s erection but was held firmly in place.

“Now, now, now – Angelus! You wanna watch or maybe even join the game? I’m sure Spike here would let you have a dig with pleasure after I and after Lindsey had our turn with him – but then he doesn’t know that you play rather rough than gentle and he might get shredded to pieces by that impressive cock of yours. After all his frame is somewhat on the smallish side and he must be damn tight – but it’s just the thing you really like, don’t ya?”

Snickers from the shadowy end of the yard made them turn their attention. With slow steps, Lindsey came out of the shadow and stopped right beside Penn and his younger cousin. Again Spike tried desperately to withdraw his hand from Penn’s cock and angrily jerked his hand away. The man let go of his wrist instantly and made him ram his elbow right into the wall he was pressed against, making him groan out in pain.

“Yeah, and can you hear these groans and moans? Guess what they are like when he’s climaxing. Delicious I dare say… wonder if he screams. But then you don’t bed men, not anymore, do you? Cause what would your friends say if they knew that’s what you did when you were your evil twin – they still don’t know, right? That you fucked Penn here right and proper and then were fucked back by him.” Lindsey smiled wickedly and gently trailed a finger down Spike’s high cheekbone.

He continued. “And if you still don’t want them to know you better keep your hands off of my little cousin here.”

“Are you threatening me? Cause if you are I so gonna kick your ass making you fly from here to Texas.” Angel scowled at Lindsey daring him to repeat his little speech.

“Aaaw, you frighten me Angelus you really do. But I guess – yeah, that was a threat indeed and now I want you to leave us alone with Spikey here and mind your own business.” The young man grinned a toothy grin and turned his attention to his cousin who was still pinned against the wall by Penn.

“Now let’s see how we can have fun together little one and trust me Penn and I are a practiced team and you can learn a lot tonight and any following night to this.”

“Spike?” Angel asked tentatively letting him decide whether he needed his help or not. And Spike had come to the decision that he’d rather get kicked square in the nuts than have Lindsey touch him in any other way at all.

“Touch me and I’m goin’ to brake every possible bone in both your soddin’ hands you bloody wanker!” Hissing through clenched teeth he tried to sound as confident as doable in his position.

Penn and Lindsey laughed at him shaking their heads.

“You know… I don’t think you have a vote in this baby!” Penn snickered at him derisively and leaned in to press his lips again at Spike’s. But before he could reach him the young man viciously head-butted him on the forehead and smash his left knee into the other one’s crotch making him bend over with a cry of pain.

In seconds, the setting turned into a war zone with kicks and blows exchanged between the four men. Angel had jumped at Lindsey while Spike did his best to keep Penn at bay. The little yard echoed with shouting and grunting.

With a strong upper-cut Angel made Lindsey’s head snap backward causing him lose his balance. But he used his momentum to roll back over his head getting on his feet quickly enough to deliver a high roundhouse kick with his right foot that hit Angel on the temple who fell to his knees feeling slightly daze. From his now downward position, he turned on one knee and kicked his other leg straight underneath the man’s calves bringing him down as well.

Spike held Penn in a headlock and crashed him into the wall head first. Because of the awkward angle he was locked Penn couldn’t manage to get in a decent punch at first but then he brought his elbow violently back into the gut of the slightly smaller man who had to double over in pain. Using the moment, he drew up his knee and drove it with brutal force into Spike’s face breaking the orbital bone of the left eye with a grating noise.

Spike screamed out at the pain radiating through his head and dropped down on his knees. Lindsey escaped a ‘Shit’ and Angel shoved him into a corner running up to the blond who was breathing heavily in and out trying not to black out.

“What’s wrong?”

“Bloody hell, he broke a bone somewhere in my face – hurts like a bugger.” Spike held his one hand on his face while supporting himself with the other.

Penn and Lindsey stood by and said nothing but Lindsey knew if Spike would snitch on him, he would be in deep trouble. The sex would have been something he was certain his cousin wouldn’t have told his parents about but a broken facial bone was harder to cover. Especially if it turned the face into all different shades of purple and blue.

“If you rat on me to your ‘mommy’ how you got that black eye I’m telling them about your little interest in me and that you earned it by trying something!” Lindsey whispered this into Spike’s ear before he and Penn retreated from the yard into the alley where they turned around running off laughing.

“C’mon let’s get you back on your feet and to the hospital. Better have them x-ray it to make sure your stupid, thick skull won’t fall apart at the next corner.” Getting a grip on Spike’s arm Angel pulled him back up and steadied him on the way to the front of The Bronze.

“Let go of me, can bloody well walk alone. Not an invalid here.” Spike was angry. Again, he was in debts with Angel for helping him and he was looking like a moron all over.

But now Angel got angry again as well.

“You fucking ungrateful little brat. What do you think you’re doing? Oh, I get it – you’re not thinking that’s the point. Cause if you were you would be groveling at my feet licking the ground clean before I have to step on it for helping you – again!”

The young man looked up at him with a twisted face showing all different kind of emotions. Blood from the split skin of his left eyebrow, which had already been scarred, trickled down his cheek. He looked even tougher with the blood smearing all over his face but his expression somehow belied his looks.

“I didn’t ask for your help mate – never would. If you hadn’t intervened…”

“If I had not intervened those two scum-backs would have raped you in that stinking dirty cobblestone backyard. Is that really what you want – is that the kind of sex that turns you on? Is that the way you practiced your sex-life with men back in LA to keep it a secret?” With a rough shove, he pushed Spike into the sidewall and positioned both his hands beside Spike’s head leaning in on him with a threatening stare.

Not knowing what he should give as a qualified retort to the insolence of the older man the punk-kid sucked his cheeks in pushing his jaw forward.

“Okay, I see… If you really want it like that go ahead and I won’t bother you anymore. Just let yourself be used and than thrown away when they are done with fucking you six ways from Sunday cause that’s what they’ll do. I should know – I’ve had the whole scheme down with Penn, though we at least did it on a consensual basis but then you seem to have an agreement with him as well. Drugs for sex – why not take money right away. Sure a lot people would pay a fair amount of cash to get you in between the covers.” Angel growled this out making his point clear to the younger youth still caught between his arms but at his words Spike’s already pale skin lost any color left to it and he just stared at him with total shock.

“What?” That was all he could whisper as his throat felt like someone was choking him. At the sight of Spike’s shattered expression Angel felt like being sucked back into reality – his roaring demon screaming at being fought back in his inner cage.

“Oh God, William! I am sorry! I didn’t mean it that way – that’s not what I think of you, please believe me! I’m just being scared for you can you understand that? Please William talk to me – all I want is to help you!” He felt desperate. How could that happen again? His evil side taking over again after such effort to subdue it to the lowest level feasible. Trying to make up for the glitch in his behavior, he pulled the other one into an embrace clutching him close to his broad chest.

Spike was too shaken by these sudden changes he couldn’t move an eyelid for the sake of it. The words were still ringing in his ears but being held by the man of his secret passion somehow dulled their impact to a tolerable level.

After keeping the hug for a few moments, Angel let go of him and stepped back both men looking uneasily at each other.

“I guess, we should get you to the ER first and then back home. Just going’ in and tell my guys and dolls we are out of here. You gonna wait at my car? Be back in a second…” Breaking the silence Angel made the offer unsure whether his apology had been accepted.

“Yep, going’ to wait at your car. Can’t see where I’m walking anyway.”

~~~

When Angel had come back inside The Bronze Gunn and Wesley were still standing nearby the entrance keeping a close eye on it. He shortly told them about the little exchange of blows and the consequence of Spike being hurt. Deciding on a meet up for one of the next days, he then wished them a good night and left the club.

Directing his black Plymouth Convertible to Sunnydale Community Hospital, he was intensely keeping his eyes on the street while changing the lane and swaying around other cars with skilled driving. Everything to avoid Spike’s face and the stoic expression that had settled down on it. Neither of them said a word until they reached the Hospital. Seeing a parking space close to the entrance of the ER Angel pulled up the driveway of the small parking lot.

Inside the Emergency Room, it was astonishingly quiet and a friendly nurse approached them immediately. They were led to an examination room and settled down on the examination stretcher in the middle.

At entering the room, the doctor took in the sight of the two bruised looking young men but didn’t comment on it. He realized Angel instantly because his father was the psychiatrist on the psychiatry ward and was coming down to the ER whenever there were victims of a rape or a mugger.

“As he’s the one with the blood running over his face I take it he’s the reason for you being here. A friend of yours?” Just like anybody else, the doctor knew about the so called ‘Angelus-Phase’ of his co-workers son and he didn’t like the look of the youth with him.

“Yeah, a friend. Got into a brawl with his cousin. Think he got a fracture of the orbital bone. Thought it would be better to have him x-rayed by you Doc before all his marbles fall out.” Angel tried to loosen the tension that had risen.

“You have insurance to cover the invoice?” The doctor was suspicious about the blond guy and didn’t want him to skip it.

Spike’s face displayed nothing but he shook his head shortly.

“I’ll cover for him, just don’t tell my Dad about it ok?” Angel made a pleading face at his father’s colleague and tried to appear as open and trustful as possible.

“All right, if you think you can afford it.” Walking out without further discussion the doc made the call to get the x-rays done.

Spike jumped off the stretcher starting for the door to leave.

“Hey! Where do you think you’re going right now?” Angel was worried.

“No insurance, remember? And even less money to pay you back.” Spike walked through the door and crossed the ER heading for the exit. Angel sighed and followed him quickly grabbing a sleeve.

“Spike! You need that x-ray. I know for sure that you got a fracture and even though it doesn’t look like it’s displaced what if there’s a swelling underneath?”

“Well, have to find out then, do I?” Spike yanked his sleeve free and started storming out but when he reached the door, he had to grab it as not to stagger and fall down. Again, Angel seized him by one arm and steadied him.

“See? Now come back with me and let me help you.”

“Angel, I can’t pay you the money back. I have nothing to offer you.” Spike kept his eyes downcast afraid to receive a bargain he knew he wouldn’t want to have with Angel. Not with Angel.

The dark-haired man considered the options and made up his mind.

“You have something to offer me… And all I mean by this is that I want your trust. Trust that I’m a good friend who wants to help you. Just promise me to stay away from Penn and Lindsey.” It was rather a question than a stipulation on his side but it was important.

“I promise that I’ll try but it’s all I can do. Lindsey is my cousin. Family. Even if I don’t like them they are all that I have.” The young blond settled in a wheelchair a nurse provided shoving him towards the elevator.

“They are not all you have. You got me.” Angel anxiously hoped it would be enough.

~~~

The x-rays were done and thankfully showed nothing too serious. A hair-fracture but no more. And he had a concussion and the cut had to have some stitches, after that he was discharged. The doctor’s advice was to rest a few days and to avoid further collisions between his head and hard objects.

Coming to a halt in front of a nice two story mansion Angel stared at it with confusion. This wasn’t exactly what he had expected after Spike had told him he couldn’t afford the x-rays. He raised his eyebrows questioningly at him and waited.

“You want to come in? My… parents… are not at home over Christmas.” Avoiding eye-contact Spike was winding inside with utter embarrassment at the obvious presence of money in his family.

“Your mother and her boyfriend left you alone over the holidays? What’s that supposed to mean?” Angel felt a sting in his chest. His family would never leave any family member alone over a holiday that was so much about family.

“They got married two weeks ago and went on their honeymoon right after that… I don’t care for Christmas anyways and it’s nice to stay on your own.” What Spike didn’t say was that it was better to stay alone than having to deal with his stepfather and his violent temper.

Angel sensed that there was more than Spike disclosed but decided to wait until they were inside. Instead of walking to the front-door, he was led around the frontage of the house and to the back-door that was leading into a huge kitchen. Again, Angel was frowning in wonder. Following Spike through the living room and a wide hallway to the back of the house. Opening the door to the basement and switching on the light, the younger man went down the stairs with Angel on his heels.

The basement was dark and the air a little musty. Small slit-like windows would give some light in the day as they were just above ground level. The room was only frugally furnished. A large bed in the far corner from the stairs and a TV on a turned-over crate at its end. A bookcase with a quite astonishing amount of books on English literature and a closet on the opposite side. A provisional desk was standing at the wall between and was covered with school books and papers. One chair.

“Take a seat. You want a beer?” Spike made a gesture to only chair in the room and walked over to a medium-sized fridge, which was humming in the corner behind the TV.

“Yeah, if you got one but I honestly think you shouldn’t drink with your concussion.” Angel narrowed his eyes as the blond opened one bottle taking a long swig before handing the second one to him.

“Well, shouldn’t have gotten myself that sodden concussion in the first place and now I don’t care anymore.”

“Spike.”

“What?”

“Remember what I asked of you back at the Hospital?” At the uncertainty that appeared on the face of his companion, the older youth could only sigh with irritation.

“Just stop trying to fool me into believing that your life is O.K. and tell me what this is all about!” By now, he couldn’t keep his voice down.

Spike settled on the bed and leaned back against the wall, his boot-cladded feet dangling over the side.

“You don’t want to know, no one wants to know.” He stared at Angel keeping a blank expression on his face.

“Tell me anyway.”

A few moments of sheer silence.

“Okay.

My mother is head over heels in love and blind to everything my new ‘Dad’ does.
She doesn’t have any money she could give me and he simply doesn’t want to give me any.
Because he would have to pay more, I’m not included in his insurance but at least my Mom is.
And every now and then, he goes totally berserk and mistakes me for his punching bag but that’s still better then when he-“

With an abrupt stop to his rambling Spike jumped to his feet and walked over to the bookcase studying the different titles on the backs as if he saw them for the first time ever.

Realization dawning on Angel, he felt a fierce anger awaking inside his belly and rising to his head.

“Where you just about to say that he molests you? I mean in a sexual way.”

“I don’t know if that’s what you can call it… He doesn’t… He just wants to touch me and toss off… on me… so nothing really bad.”

“Are you crazy? That’s child molestation and how long will it take before he want the whole cake and rapes you? How long has he been doing this to you?” Angel had to fight for keeping his composure.

“Not for that long. Only since when I came back from England. But I don’t care, it’s most probably my own fault cause the first time it happened I didn’t lock the bathroom door when I took a bath…
Angel you’ve got to promise me that you are not going to tell anyone what I just told you! If you do I will deny everything and call you a frickin’ liar!” He still couldn’t turn around and confront Angel, not wanting to see the disgusted look on his face or the pity in his eyes. Absentmindedly he hugged himself.

Angel’s heart cringed at the request to stay silent about the abuse but knew he wasn’t able to make the blond change his mind, at least not yet.

“For now I’m goin’ to indulge your wish for secrecy but not promising forever. Go to bed now and give your head some rest before you drop to ground right where you’re standing.”

Without regard, Spike kicked off his boots and turned around slowly walking over to his spacious bed and threw himself down on it facedown. Muffled voice because talking into the cushion.

“You can sleep in my bed – got nothing else to proffer you if you want to stay.”

A short hesitation while Angel considered whether that was a good idea because of what he had come to know just moments ago but then he walked up to the bed and moved to lay down beside the other young man stretching his tired limps.

Taking a peek from down below Spike looked at Angel with an shy smile.

“Thanks peaches.”

“ ‘Tis all right – now go to sleep.”

“Night Angel.”

“Goodnight – Will.”

The End

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