Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Angel/Spike
Setting: AU, they are human, it's not about vampire slaying
Warning: m/m slash, attempted rape of a minor, angst
Disclaimer: If wishes were horses, they would be mine but as wishes don't happen to be horses, today… they are not.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
New Year’s Eve, private party at Lorne’s house, sophomores and high school seniors.
Spike was sitting on the sloping lawn in the backyard of Lorne’s mansion watching the stars blink in the dark night sky while hearing the shouts and laughter coming from within the house. It was midnight and everyone celebrated the New Year, hugging and kissing each other drinking to the promises of the coming year.
He didn’t feel like he had something to celebrate. This morning his Mom and new Stepfather had returned from their honeymoon. He couldn’t give a sensible explanation why the left side of his face or rather his eye was swollen and shining in purple and blue. He didn’t say anything about a fracture or a concussion but should’ve as it might have spared him the resounding slap on his right side giving him a searing headache to carry around the whole day up until now. On the other hand it might not.
Thereby the last three days had been really good – great even. Angel had stayed with him not wanting him to be alone with his concussion and they had spent hour after hour talking about stuff that was important or bothering to them. Angel had told him about the strained relationship he had with his father, which wasn’t helped by his episode of rebellion against everyone and everything essential in his life and his therefore never-ending quest to redeem himself from that.
Spike in return told him about the trouble he got himself into by using
drugs and the damage he had caused in a drunken haze, which had him rendered
to police custody and after that to a drug rehab in a facility for auto-/aggressive
youths.
Only with great difficulty, he told Angel bits and pieces of the way
his stepfather treated him and had all of a sudden started acting out his
sexual interests.
*Then why were you with Penn the other night when you are not even interested
in men? *
Angel had asked him that with serious interest.
*Because I was interested in one before it went off – am now. Guess
dear Dad found out somehow and happens to bet on the same team. *
He answered the question with the same seriousness tentatively pointing
out his interest in men, one man, who just by incident was lying on his
bed with him.
*Oh, then you are interested in Penn? *
The disappointment wasn’t quite obvious in the tone of his voice but
the question had made Spike wary of what Angel might believe.
*Bloody hell, no way! *
He wanted to tell Angel that he as a matter of fact had interest in
him but he couldn’t overcome his nervousness and simply tell him.
Now he was here waiting and hoping the New Year would bring him some king of salvation. He felt like he wouldn’t be able to hold up much longer. All ready the old habits of doing drugs and drinking had clawed their way back into his life. In addition, he was sure his mom knew by the way that she looked at him with sadly clouded eyes but wasn't really able to meet his glance. Sometimes he wondered whether she knew what else her now new husband was doing with him besides using him as his bunching bag.
Lighting his next cigarette he leaned back on his elbows stretching out his legs and crossing them. The ground was cold and even though he could feel the frostiness creep through the bottom of his pants and spreading in his whole body he didn’t feel cold – or too cold – rather kind of numb. If he were to sit here a lot longer, he sure would get sick, which somehow filled his heart with calmness. Pushing himself over his limits had become part of his personality and he didn’t take the time to consider any potential consequences.
He stubbed out the bud of his fag and laid down on his back again staring into the dark sky with its millions and millions of stars shining down, some of them not even existing anymore when their light finally reached the earth. Closing his eyes, he rendered himself to the chill of the earth beneath.
~~~
At midnight everybody screamed out “Happy New Year!” and then started kissing and hugging one another drinking to each other and giving away wishes for the New Year. It took almost a full hour for all of them to give every single one his or her New Year-Embrace and New Year-Wishes. Therefore, it had escaped Angel’s notice that a certain blond wasn’t around to collect his part of hugs and wishes. When he finally detected the younger to be missing, he could only sigh knowing the other had backed out of the whole touching scenario carefully avoiding unnecessary body-contact.
You could wish upon something with desperate hope that much but the moment you get it, it’s too much to bear. Avoiding it in the first place was much more tolerable.
Fighting his way through the crowd of young people all around Angel made it to the veranda outside. At the far end of the softly down-sloping lawn, he could distinguish a small figure lying on the ground.
“What the fuck is he doing now? Does he want to get pneumonia?”
Going back into the house, he watched out for a blanket he could take outdoors. When The Host was swinging by, he stopped him short whispering his question into Lorne’s ear.
“Is the ‘Little-Pretty’ giving you the cold shoulder?” Laughing at his own little joke he wasn’t really paying attention to Angel. Still, somehow, Lorne with his hidden perception of things unsaid was the only one who had comprehended that his friend was carrying more than just friendship-like feelings for the new British boy. Nevertheless, he acknowledged his wish to not talk about it with him or anyone else for that matter.
“Lorne stay with me. I need the blanket ‘cause the ‘Little-Pretty’ as you like to call him is sitting outside on your lawn obviously trying to catch something.” Angel got impatient.
“Sorry Cupcake. He’s pretty extreme – you sure he’s good for you?”
“Well, let’s say I believe I’m good for him – is that enough?” Angel looked his friend straight in the eyes bidding for his loyalty.
“Okay. You know that I trust your instinct for people worth your time and therefore worth my time. Take that blanket over there and cuddle up with him – if you excuse my straightforward manner.”
“Only because it’s you Lorne but just don’t talk about it with the other. I’m still not certain they could deal with this whole – stuff. And thanks.” Again, he was feeling discomfort at the idea of lying to his friends and not trusting them, which he knew could be the downfall of their long-time friendship.
Walking to the couch with the blanket Lorne had indicated to him, he grabbed it and left the party behind. Gradually walking over the lawn, he reached a now sitting upright Spike and perched down beside him wrapping the shivering body with the coverlet.
“Get your butt up.” It was all Angel said and the blond followed the order with a sigh but he followed it and that was notable. Pushing the blanket underneath both their butts Angel pulled it around them and without thinking shoved his arm around Spike’s slim waist drawing him closer.
Spike’s heart started pounding in his chest as the warmth of the other man’s body spread through his own and a tickling feeling to his stomach was teasing him. In a good way, though and instinctively he leaned closer to Angel seeking his physical proximity. Their hips and thighs had a delicate contact and the body-heat against the cold night air was intensifying the feel of the faint touch.
All his senses seemed to focus on Angel and his body being that close. However, it felt good and for the first time it felt right. Never before had he longed to simply touch someone else’s skin to feel its warmth and texture, wanted to taste its flavor – did skin even have a flavor? he couldn’t remember – and just be close even without the result of having sex and an orgasm.
Angel didn’t dare to move at first because it suddenly occurred to him that Spike maybe didn’t want to have his arm around his waist. Angel’s broad frame close to his own. But when the young man didn’t push him away, he just stayed that way.
Enjoying the closeness and warmth both man stayed silent and motionless for some time either one following his own thoughts.
Every additional moment that passed made Angel’s skin feel as if it was going up in flames from the simple contact they shared. Want for the younger male in his arm swept through his chest making him hard with growing anticipation.
Turning his head to Spike, he whispered into his ear.
“Happy New Year William.”
Spike gasped a little, as the words spoken were accompanied by hot breath tickling his skin and then turned around as well. He couldn’t look into Angel’s eyes all that he was able to look at were those red full lips. His head screamed at him to kiss this enticing mouth but all he was doing was to stare at it.
Feeling a turmoil of desire and fear warring inside his heart for the upper hand all he needed was one sign of what Spike wanted. The expelled hot air of the bleach-blond gently stroked over his lips and the hesitant move of the other’s head towards him brought down any chance to further resist the rosy lustrous lips of Spike’s mouth.
Angel leaned in and tenderly pressed his moist lips on Spike’s, kissing
him.
His tongue flickered out licking first the lower, then the upper lip,
gently sucking on one, letting go, and again kiss-nipping them.
And repeating the process all over as he could feel the answering pressure from his counterpart and the intensity was growing with every minute that passed.
Spike’s hand came up to rest on Angel’s waist and he pressed closer against the distinctive frame of the other man. Angel raised his hand to Spike’s left shoulder and lightly pushed him down until he came to rest on his back the dark-haired man sinking down with him half topping him. Just for a short moment, he withdrew his mouth from the blond to look into those piercing blue eyes, which were a dim sparkle in the moonlit darkness. A soft smile played his lips as he searched the face below for signs of discomfort. But Spike’s features were relaxed and he was watching him from beneath his thick eyelashes. His lips were still a little apart and he was breathing in and out with a quickened frequency.
“You ok with this?” Angel only dared to whisper the question not trusting his voice to be balanced enough to speak aloud and because it wouldn’t serve the moment, they were having.
“It feels good – very good.” The answer was spoken as softly as his question.
Smiling he lowered his head again capturing Spike’s mouth in another kiss. This time it turned out to be more fervently the security that they shared their pleasure was resolving the shyness of the first kiss. Entering the soft cavity of the other either one started stroking the soft tissue inside, both hungrily entwining their tongues and sucking longingly.
With nimble hands, Spike tried to feel his way from Angel’s waist beneath Angel’s shirt wanting to touch the supple skin and its radiating heat.
Angel could feel the cool fingers under his shirt fondling and pressing the smooth flesh and prominent muscles of his back. After a while, they started wandering along caressing the sensitive skin on the flanks of his torso until they reached his chest softly sliding over an already hard nipple with just the fingertips. Angel drew in a sharp breath of air at the churning sensations evoked by it and rubbed his hips against Spike’s to increase their intensity.
He moved away his mouth only long enough to turn the hot kiss into little nipping kisses following the curve of the jaw up to where jaw, earlobe and throat connected and continued the trail down the throbbing jugular vein beneath the thin layer of pallid skin ‘til he reached a protruding collarbone. Pushing the elastic neckline of the black tee shirt to the side Angel let his tongue dart out licking the skin, followed by a quick kiss and a gentle bite. Each action caused a reaction eliciting soft moans from Spike and making him slightly arch his back and urge his aching hardness against Angel’s crotch.
Throwing a momentary glance upon Spike’s face Angel could see the younger man had closed his eyes and was concentrating on each part that was within touching range of Angel. A pleased smile crept upon his face and the prickly feeling he had in his guts grew stronger. Bringing his mouth down on the nape of the neck, he started sucking the skin at one circular spot. And when he stopped a deep crimson-red mark was standing out sharply against the pale skin. An extraordinarily vicious love-bite.
Opening his eyes, Spike brought his head forward catching Angel’s lips again and pushing his tongue into the warm cavern. This time it was the dark-haired man who couldn’t contain the moans coming from deep within his chest.
Tentatively they were trying to find out what the other liked what was inducing more lust-filled moans and intensified the rushing sensations in their groins.
Both were having a yearning erection and they kept pushing their hips together and grinding against the hardness of their cocks. They had already crossed the line and weren’t able to hold back anymore.
“Make me come Angel. Please make me come.” Hoarse with the pleasure he felt Spike couldn’t bear it any longer his breath flowing in and out in rapid gasps.
“Touch me and I’ll make you come like you’ve never come before.” Angel felt his own orgasm approaching.
Moving his hand from the broad chest over slim hips down to the aching stiffness between Angel’s legs, Spike applied soft pressure rubbing his slender hand up and down over it. At the same time, he felt his own cock being caressed, strong fingers stroking him.
Their bodies tensed up their muscles straining and they came together. Pulsing streams of hot semen bringing relief as they went over the edge climaxing violently. They pressed their foreheads against each other and were panting for much needed air while they were still shaken by the slowly subsiding spasms of their orgasm.
Coming down slowly from the bliss they felt, they shared another kiss, which was all gentle and soft. Angel adjusted the blanket around himself and rolled over on his back tugging Spike onto his chest covering him as well. He could feel the sticky wetness of his semen in his pants but tried to ignore it.
“I’m sorry Will. This isn’t much better than the yard behind The Bronze but I promise you the next time we’ll be somewhere nicer. If you want there to be a next time…”
“It only feels inappropriate because it’s winter not summer Angel but then we wouldn’t be the only ones out here and couldn’t have – come together. In the sense as well as the literally meaning of the words.” Spike couldn’t help a snicker coming out.
Tickling the soft hairline that bordered at the pale skin of the neck below Angel made a content face and smiled.
Quietly sighing the blond made one of his offhandedly comments.
“Now that was a slap and a tickle.”
“So there’ll be a next time?” Angel grinned inwardly.
“Do you really want me that much?” The insecurity was coloring his voice dark.
“Yes, I want you that much William. And to answer your possibly next question – yes, I want you in a sexual way but not merely in a sexual way. You got brain even though you try to hide it successfully from others. But you can’t hide from me. I can see your good heart and your hurting soul and it touches me deep inside.”
“Good heart and hurting soul? Sure you’re not projecting your own qualities into me?” Spike still didn’t dare believe his good destiny. Life had a way of sneaking up on him from behind trashing his hope to tiny pieces. But Angel just squeezed him and gave a diminutive laugh at that.
“Even if I am seeing something of myself in you – it’s not all me but still a lot of you. Now, that came out strange – but do you get the meaning?”
“I think I do.”
A comfortable silence settled down with them and Spike listened to the continuous beating rhythm of Angel’s heart feeling his own joining its now decelerating pace while Angel concentrated on the hot air coming from Spike warming up his chest, its constant flow of being breathed in and out uniting itself with his own.
Peace of mind.
~~~
They stayed outdoors for a while longer but then the freezing air of the early January morning started creeping mercilessly through the coverlet getting under their skin. That’s when they had to get up and go back inside the house where the crowd had slowly thinned to a few withstanding people.
Lorne came up to them and with a knowing glance measured the ‘damage’ done.
“Angel-cakes, you’re just in time to say goodbye to Cordelia, Gunn and Xander. The others left already half an hour ago and your ‘friends’ were not happy that you’d gone with the vanishing act all over again.” He was stressing the word friends for good measure to make Angel check his priorities.
Angel made a face towards The Host and sighed.
“You knew I was outside you could’ve come and gotten a hold on me…”
“Actually I tried – just decided to leave you alone while doing the nasties with the fake blond over here.” Lorne looked poignantly at him and mouthed the word ‘sorry’.
“Err, Will I guess I need to talk to them for a sec. You gonna wait outside at my car? I’m brining you home right afterwards.”
“Yeah. But you don’t have to, you know. If you’d rather go with them I understand it.” He meant what he said but that did not lessen the pain of knowing he wouldn’t be able to spend time with Angel without making him choose between him and his long-time friends.
It scared him to be the one left behind all over again but Angel choosing him before his group of buds would be just as scary. It would put an imbalance to their relationship, leaving him indebted to Angel. More so as he already was.
“No, I’m brining you home. Just let me talk to them and then we’re out of here. They are ok with it I’m sure.” Angel wasn’t sure at all but he didn’t want the younger man to worry about his problems.
He was in the predicament of deciding whether he would be true to his friends who had helped him through the toughest time of his young life or whether he was going for the uncertain prospects of a new lover. Pushing Spike ahead in front of him, he directed him to the main door and outside.
Passing Angel’s three friends all he could mumble was a goodnight at them but couldn’t meet their eyes. The pictures of Angel kissing him and giving him an intensive orgasm just minutes ago were still too vivid before his inner eye and colored his cheeks with a light red glow.
From beside the car he could see Angel talk to Cordelia, Gunn, and Xander who didn’t look with a friendly eye on him. Seemingly, they were in one heated discussion about the general issues of Angel’s attitude about the way their friendship turned out. Every now and then, a breeze came his way carrying shreds of the conversation to him. Words like ‘trust’, ‘commitment’, ‘honesty’, ‘decision’, and ‘make up your mind’ reached him waking anger and disappointment in his guts at the blatant attempt to draw Angel to their side of the fence, on which he was furiously trying to keep his balance.
They talked a few minutes longer and then Angel walked up to Spike who was still waiting and half sitting on the passenger’s door. Angel winced a little and made a small grunting sound at the other. Spike carefully lifted from the Convertible’s frame and held his hands up. Angel was particular with his car and its handling; sitting on it and endangering the polish to get scratches was not allowed.
“They look pretty angry Angel. Shouldn’t you try to get things straight again?” Another tentative suggestion.
“I am but tomorrow.”
In silence, they were driving the way to Spike’s home neither of them knowing how to resolve the situation without one side having the loss of a friend. Casting a side-glance at his driver, every now and then he could see a deep frown buried into Angel’s forehead as he was brooding about his options.
Arriving at his private ‘Sunnyhell’ Spike had made up his mind.
“You stay with your friends.” Looking straight ahead, he didn’t want to see what Angel’s expression would disclose about his emotions of having that weight lifted from his shoulders.
No answer.
No arguing.
He waited.
With sudden movement of his right hand, Angel gripped Spike’s neck in a vice-like but still gentle hold and pulled him almost over to his side of the front seat forcing the blond to put his hand on Angel’s thigh to keep his balance.
Next thing he knew was Angel’s lips claiming his’ with ravenous pressure.
Invading Spike’s warm mouth with his searching tongue and stroking the velvety insides he was only slightly retreating when either sucking the younger man’s tongue or lips.
Spike couldn’t hold back at this. His answer came right from his heart, pure and honest emotions without being diluted by the effort of sensible thought first. The blood in his body was rushing through him thundering in his ears and pinpointing all his perception at Angel and his touch.
Feeling Spike melt into his embrace and into their kiss, gave Angel all he needed right now. All sensations triggered by the warm body against his own the strong hand gripping his thigh and the hungry mouth trying to devour him ascertained him that he no longer could live without this boy being around him.
They kissed like it was for the first time and the last time ever. Neither one able to end it and have reality invade their minds again calling for a decision.
Only in the end, they had to.
“What did you say?” Angel raised his chocolate-brown eyes to meet azure ones.
Spike tipped his head back and stared for the dozens time up into the
nightly sky above and then closed his eyes and licking his lips to savor
Angel’s taste.
Opening his eyes again he looked into Angel’s eyes first and then let
his chin sink slightly to his chest.
“You know what. You know I’m right. Why are you making it harder than necessary?”
“Thought after that kiss it would be obvious boy. You’re mine, and I’m not letting you go again – because I want you – body and soul – the whole package that comes with it.” With the tip of his fingers, he soothingly slid over Spike’s pale cheek.
“Yeah right and we know what kind of baggage that is… psychologically dysfunctional teenager with the habit of drugs and too much alcohol to compensate insecurity and loss because of parental neglect and a physically abusive stepparent. Congratulations luv, you hit the jackpot, now collect your winnings…” He tried to put as much scorn as possible into his little speech throwing the cruel reality at the handsome face before him. Some way or another he had to make Angel understand what he was bargaining for the save, honest and sincere friendship that he had with the Scooby Gang.
“Okay. Last chance: I keep my friends but you accept to see me secretly. We will meet at least on three days of the week at a motel outside city limits. We watch TV, snuggle up, and talk while having something nice to eat. Minimum two hours. And after an appropriate time span the eventual prospect of sex – just saying that to top the cake…” Angel said all of it with a serious composure leaving no question to the sincerity of his intention.
“I beg your pardon but I truly believe I just lost a great part of my mind.” Staring at him with wide-open eyes, Spike couldn’t deny his bewilderment at getting such a proposition from Angel, him of all people. Dark eyes stared back, eyebrows raised in an unvoiced request for an answer.
“Are you barmy?”
“Nope.”
“You really mean it.”
“Yep.”
“How long is appropriate?”
“Appropriate translates ‘when you really want it’. At least for me. You?”
“The same. Does that mean we could’ve sex right now?”
“Sure… but I would prefer a different time and space. First groping around on someone else’s lawn and then first sex in my car not what I want to give you. Okay?”
“Yeah, ok. Gonna go inside then. Otherwise I’d be pushing that subject too much.”
“Right. Hope you sleep well and have nice dreams – of us.” Angel smiled at his companion and the blond snickered at that.
“How could I not with these prospects ahead of me.” Spike grinned wickedly at Angel sending shivers down his spine. They surely had made the right decision maybe it would even turn out to be the best thing ever happening to them.
Right then they didn’t anticipate that they would have to delay their plans.
Kissing each other really tenderly with just the tip of tongues involved, they said goodnight and parted with deploring the loss of each other’s presence.
~~~
Standing on the sidewalk Spike stared at the vanishing backlights of Angel’s car. Only when he couldn’t see them any longer he turned around and strolled around the house quietly entering it through the kitchen door. It was dark and thus he didn’t see it coming.
Out of nowhere coming from the right, a fist connected with his jaw with such force that he was thrown against the doorframe falling to floor. He wasn’t even down before a vicious kick to his ribcage pressed out all air from his lungs and flipped him around onto his back. Two strong hands seized a hold on his head thrashing it vehemently on the tiled ground beneath and a harsh voice was hissing at him with disdain.
“You crooked – dirty – little – whore! You dare to cheat on me? You really think you can let some bastard fuck you and come back into my house? I teach you a lesson you’ll never forget you whorish boy! You belong to me! Nobody is allowed to touch you! I was trying to heal you from those dirty thoughts before someone would find out that you are tainted. Having filthy wishes of being with other men. You should know better then to raise my anger you lusting little bitch so why did you fucking do it?”
Grabbing a whimpering Spike around one wrist, he dragged his stepson over the floor who by making his body go limp was trying to hinder the angry man from hauling him through the living room to the back of the house. With jerking at the boy’s arm, he towed him through the hall when with a silent pop Spike’s shoulder nearly dislocated making him scream out in agony. But the other man didn’t care.
Spike was shoved into a small storage room his stepfather following him instantly. Towering over the crouching figure on the floor the man started unbuckling his belt and drew it slowly through the belt loops of his jeans. It was a strong leather belt, darkened with its daily use of holding up pants and its irregular use for dealing out punishment.
“What’s with my mother? Why doesn’t she wake up?” Panic was churning inside Spike out of fear for himself but as well for his mother. Even though she had never before intervened because either she wasn’t at home or she was asleep, the strident riot of violence his stepfather was making now would have certainly woken her up urging her to react. If she was all right.
“Aaaw, don’t worry about your mother, boy. She’s sound asleep probably dreaming of our honeymoon…” Sudden change of subject. He merely whispered.
“Do you even know how often I’m thinking of you when sleeping with her? How I wish it was your tight little hole I was pounding into? Well, never thought I would get the argument to punish you that way but now…”
Again, his voice rose to a hoarse menacingly yell.
“…You’re gagging for it, aren’t you? And after I’m done with the belt you’ll get to know what it really means getting fucked up your ass!”
“No! Please don’t do that – I swear to God I didn’t sleep with him – we only kissed – nothing else – please let me go!” Spike shrieked with fear of the promises his stepfather was making.
The belt came down with cruel vigor hitting him square in the face. Squealing out again at the brutal attack Spike rolled his body into a tight ball leaving the back of his torso vulnerable to further blows, which were delivered immediately.
Ripping and tearing at the boy’s tee shirt to bare his back, the angry man was creating direct contact between belt and skin. Skin that turned redder with every strike until it was sore and burningly hot and the sharp edges of the leather belt started cutting into the raw flesh. Opening up previous bruises still not fully healed.
After what felt like an eternity, the beating stopped.
He was dragged up to his feet and positioned over a drawer. Greedy hands reached around his waist deftly undoing the belt buckle and opening the zipper of his jeans. With terror, Spike realized that this time his stepfather was going to do what he’d always denied himself before.
With feverishly gleaming eyes, the young man tried to come up with a plan when his frantically searching hands got a hold on something hard and cold and heavy. A small bronze statue that could be used as a support for books on a shelve. Closing his fingers around it, he gathered all his strength. With sudden force, he turned around and smashed the weight against the other man’s skull but almost missing him. Therefore, the impact was less vicious. But it was enough.
His stepfather dropped to the ground instantly unconscious with a deep wound on his left temple that was bleeding heavily.
Staring down at him, Spike’s clouded mind cleared at once.
All he could see was the blood running from the gash on the side of the head.
The man on the floor making no sound, not moving a muscle.
He had killed him!
That’s when he ran. Grabbing his duster, which was the only true possession he had he tore the front door open and jumped down the stairs running along the pathway that lead towards the street.
He ran away from the road where the house was. Ran away from the close neighborhood around. Ran until he didn’t recognize the surroundings anymore. Ran until he was as lost as he felt he was.
The next morning, Buffy’s house.
Angel felt like he was under prosecution. He was worn out as he didn’t get to sleep the rest of the night his incoherent thoughts keeping him awake. All of a sudden, it was half past nine and he had to hurry up to meet with his friends in time. They had made up to meet at Buffy’s home at ten a.m. .
So now he was sitting opposite the others and stared at them, not really believing his ears at the things they accused him with. All they really wanted was to understand Angel’s reasons and motivation. Why he was trading their friendship in for that of some troublesome British punk boy.
He argued with them, tried to explain without betraying Spike’s trust to keep his secret. But they didn’t want or for whatever reason couldn’t understand his point. That Spike needed his help and friendship. Indicated that he could use their friendship as well. All the time only one thought on his mind that he couldn’t admit to them – that he had fallen in love.
And all they did was shake their heads in disappointment and he could only find refuge to the lie of giving in to break up any closer contacts with Spike. And now he wasn’t even sorry being urged to lie at them as a welling anger at the unreasonable prejudices they were presenting was clearing him of any doubts he had.
Only then, life decided upon taking another way.
The pieces of the puzzle were falling into place creating a new picture of things being unseen before.
Coming into the living room were Joyce Summer, Buffy’s mom, and their teacher friend Mr. Giles whom they were allowed to call ‘Giles’ when they were not at school. The somber little group of youths just started to relax again and greeted the two grown-ups, thankful for the interruption they brought.
Sitting together, they shared mutually enjoyed conversation. Wesley and Giles were both fond of English literature, preferably antique originals and antique books in general. Rupert Giles’ hope was to own a shop for antiquary books and first selections at one time and he had the prospect of an offer for a small shop in midtown of Sunnydale. They discussed the possibilities of such a career change and the drawback it might be for a studied English teacher with not having the backup of regular payment.
The phone rang and Joyce Summer went into the kitchen to answer it from there. After a few minutes, she came back and motioned her friend to come over and take the phone call as it was for him. A serious expression was on her pretty features when she looked into the round of young people sitting on the couch, the two armchairs, and some additional chairs.
“Mom? What’s the problem?” Buffy knew her mother well enough to see that something was severely wrong.
“I don’t know sweetheart but it’s the social community services for which Rupert does this watcher thing. One of the kids he’s in charge of got into awful trouble. He injured someone and ran away.” The concern in her voice was almost tangible.
Exchanging glances, they finally settled their gaze on Angel who had jumped to his feet.
“Did they say a name?” He couldn’t suppress the foreboding feeling that it had to do with Spike.
Rupert Giles came back into the room and caught the question Angel was asking.
“It’s William – err, I mean Spike – he… well, obviously he attacked his stepfather and tried to smash his head in and then simply ran away. Or around because the police just got a hold on him minutes ago. He seemed to hide out in someone’s backyard only a few miles from his – his home. Fortunately, he didn’t fight being arrested by the police officers. I’m going to the station and meet the lawyer of the social services – who I understand is just for cases as such – err, a child in our charge getting into trouble and we trying to put the blame on someone else…” A slight irony underlined his comment.
“Giles I want to come with you!” Angel instinctively knew that now or never was the point where he had to try to persuade Spike into braking his silence. And be saved before he was forced into doing something that would destroy his future furthermore.
“Why would you want to go there?”
“Because I’m the only one he’ll listen to!” Angel felt desperate. Why were people always making things harder then necessary? From the corner of his eyes he saw his friends throw up their arms with resignation and shaking their heads in disbelieve.
“Well, maybe you are right – won’t do any harm if you come with me.”
“Why do not all of us go there? I would be thrilled to hear what reasons The Big Bad wants to bring in for his defense… wouldn’t you, Angel?” Buffy’s voice was sarcastic and it tore at Angel’s heart. They were all so clueless but acted as if they held the knowledge of the whole world in their hands. His eyes swept over the faces of his friends and his answer came out cold.
“Not sure either of you is going to be that thrilled anymore when everything’s said and done.” And with that, he headed for the door making a run and jumped into his car, which was standing on the street. Yet, he waited for the three guys to get into the car as well. The girls went with Giles.
Sunnydale Police Station.
Stepping into the small interrogation room that had no windows and was only lit by two bright flickering neon bars on its ceiling, he was shocked at the sight that Spike presented. The color of his skin resembled that of a corpse. Bloodless lips, the lower one split open. Red rimmed eyes with dark shadows underneath. The slightly faded bruises on his left side were now balanced by a purple streak across the right. Still the worst was what he saw in Spike’s eyes. The fear and pain of a corned animal.
Just as he’d anticipated, the blond hadn’t said a word to anyone keeping the reasons for the attack on his stepfather to himself. It had taken some time before Giles had reached an agreement for Angel to be allowed to see the younger man in custody but being assigned as the boy’s watcher had given him enough importance to have a say in that matter, after all Spike was still a minor.
Angel had five minutes before he and the allocated lawyer would join them. Carefully not to startle the other with rash movements he walked up to him and crouched down in front.
“Spike?” He looked into dull blue eyes that had glowed with lust and excitement merely little more than seven or eight hours ago. A quick glance at the door to make sure it was closed.
“William, talk to me.”
“What do you want me to say? That I didn’t attack him or that I didn’t try to kill him? Why would anyone believe me… Do you even believe me?”
“I do believe you. You know that! But that’s not the point. You are waist deep in trouble – and the only way to get out now once and for all – is that you tell them what that bastard does to you. That streak on your face – that was him, right? Did he hurt you elsewhere?”
Angel tried to read the other man’s facial expression and the short flicker that crossed Spike’s countenance acknowledged the fact that he had. They stared at each other for more than a minute communicating without the exchange of words.
They didn’t get their full five minutes because the door opened and Mr. Giles and an attractive woman carrying a leather case entered the room.
Giles was as taken aback by Spike’s appearance as Angel had been before. For the first time he contemplated that the young man desperately needed help, whatever problems he might have. Drugs, alcohol, or psychological problems. It was obvious that he was about to go over the edge and the only one keeping him from falling – or jumping – was Angel. Rupert Giles consider his task of being a watcher and a help for Spike a complete failure. Because he had not bothered to look beyond the visible surface, this kid was about to implode.
Both adults were sitting down on the opposite side of the small metal table yet they stayed silent for a few awkward moments. Giving his throat a clearing the watcher made a gesture to his right and introduced them to the woman with him.
“Err, Spike this is Lilah Morgan who will be trying to help you. I-I guess the first thing would be to get you released from custody.”
“That might turn out to be a lot harder than you think. As I was just being told, his stepfather is not pressing charges but the D.A. wants to do that even without him. Attempted murder.” The voice of Miss Morgan was crisp and matter of fact.
If it would have been possible, Spike would have gone even paler.
“But I didn’t try to kill him! I just wanted him off of me!” His voice almost broke.
“Off of you?” Rupert Giles narrowed his eyes and when his protégé didn’t say anything more and avoided to look at either of them his glance went to Angel.
“What’s that about?” He asked calmly.
“Make a guess ‘watcher’.” Angel voice was rasping with the restraint of his welling anger.
Turning back to Spike some horrible thought came to his mind and he needed clarification about it.
“Spike. What did your stepfather do that you had to incapacitate him this way?” He tried to keep the tremble out of his voice. He got no answer.
“Will!” The other young man was starting to lose his patients. It was now or never; didn’t Spike understand that this was his last chance?
“He beat me… and…” The blond was trying to fight back the shame and indignity he felt.
“He wanted to… have… He wanted me to sleep with him…”
“Spike this is crucially important. You have to tell me whether he… asked you to have sex with him or whether he tried to… rape you.” Closing his eyes, Giles knew the answer but to be able to take any kind of measures the boy would have to make a clear statement.
“Tried to rape me.” It was a very low whisper but loud enough for the watcher and the lawyer to catch it. They took in a deep breath of air in unison.
“Was it the first time he tried something like that?”
“Not really. But he never went that far… And you’ll never make me admit that ever again…” Hard blue eyes were now staring at Rupert Giles and left no doubt that he wouldn’t.
“But then we have nothing in hand against him and you will have to deal with the possibility to be send back to him.” Miss Morgan pointed out the worst case scenario. Or one of them.
“Will this be enough to get me away from him?” And with that question, Spike hesitantly got up from his chair starting to shrug off his duster. And with shaking hands, he pulled his black tee shirt up over his head.
On his chest were several bruises of different size and color. Some older ones already fading to yellow and green, some fresher ones in an angry blue-purple. The most outstanding bruise was a huge one on the right side of his ribcage. It had turned into an screaming dark lilac and indicated a maybe cracked rib.
“That should help our case.” It was a simple statement by the lawyer and she started taking notes.
“Oh God!” Angel gasped and took a step away from Spike feeling a nauseated feeling in his stomach. He had been standing slightly behind the blond when he took his shirt off and was the only one able to catch a glimpse of Spike’s back.
Both Adults were looking up at him with suspicious wonder.
“His back.” It was all he was able to say.
Giles slowly rose from his chair and started walking up to Spike and around him.
“Holy mother! What kind of sadist is that man?” He too felt a sick feeling but carefully put a hand on Spike’s arm and turned him around to enable Lilah Morgan to take a look as well. The tough Lawyer didn’t say anything but a twitch of her eyes betrayed her coolness. She had seen abused children and teenagers before but this was definitely one of the worse cases.
“I’ll initiate the necessary procedures.” And with that, she grabbed her case and notes and left the interrogation room.
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