Rating: NC-17ish (Well there's sex but it's not too graphic)
Pairing: Angelus/William & Angel/Spike
Feedback: Very much appreciated, Good, Bad or Ugly.even if it's only to point out mistakes, although this is going to be the worst story for that now it's it? Ironic title and all that!
Archive: If you want it you can have it, please just let me know where it's going though and credit it with my name, thanks.
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the Buffy or Angel characters. Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc do. No copyright infringement is intended or inferred and no profit is being made (as if people would pay money for my work anyway!)
Notes: Just a quickie, inspired by a "letters game".
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A low rumble reverberated up from the depths of Angelus' chest and erupted into a ferocious growl as he hurled the book that he'd been holding through the air to crash against the wall and fall dead to the floor; its spine broken and its pages bleeding out across the carpeting.
"I can't do it!" Angelus ground out through gritted teeth, his face like thunder, body tense and hands clenched into tight fists which he brought down to thump violently against the desk.
"Sire," William's voice was soft and soothing as he rose from his own seat to stand behind his Sire's chair, his hands coming to rest gently on Angelus' broad shoulders as he began to methodically rub the tension out of the stress tightened muscles.
Angelus relaxed back into William's skilful hands and sighed as he let go of his frustration. "I just don't get it," he confessed calmly, his voice heavy and disheartened.
"You will," William assured him bending forward to place a kiss on top of Angelus' head.
Angelus closed his eyes and sank further back into William's hold with a soft contented sigh, "Aaah."
William heard the noise escape his Sire's lips and it gave him an idea. Why hadn't he thought of this before? It was so simple.
Leaning down over Angelus' shoulder and reaching across the desk, he picked up the card with the alphabet written on it neatly in his own hand and slid it in front of his Sire.
Opening his eyes and spying the card Angelus snorted in distaste.
"Do you want to learn how to read or not?" William asked petulantly and rolled his eyes, then added a respectful "Sire" when Angelus tilted his head to look up at him with a raised eyebrow.
Angelus released William's gaze, let his shoulders slump and turned to look back at the card before him.
"Aye. Show me again," he instructed with yet another heavy sigh.
"Now this," William pointed to the letter A, "is."
"A for Angelus," Angelus cut in using his Childe's own teaching phrase as he recognised his own initial. "I know the alphabet," he stated flatly with a hint of annoyance. True enough, thanks to William's teaching he did but that didn't mean he could read; it just showed that he could recognise single letters.
"I know," William praised him, "but we're going to try this a bit differently. What sound does the letter A make?"
Angelus looked blankly at his Childe for a split second. He barely had time to take in the sneaky grin that stole across his boy's lips before "Aaah," he found himself knocked from his chair, flat on his back and with his arms suddenly full of William, who for some insane reason had decided to barrel into him and was now sprawled on top of him.
"Correct. A makes an Aaah sound," William smiled cheekily at Angelus then planted a quick kiss on his nose.
"Boy," Angelus warned although there was no real threat or malice in his voice. Not for his William, never for his William.
"You're jumping ahead of yourself now, "William informed him brightly. "B is the next letter and Boy does start with B, but what sound does it make?"
"Ber, Boy," Angelus sounded correctly if a little gruffly.
"Uh-huh," William confirmed, lifting himself fractionally to reach the alphabet card from the desk before flopping back down to lay more comfortably against the body beneath him. "Now C," he turned the card to face his Sire, pointing at the said letter, "what sound does this one make?"
"Ch, Childe," Angelus replied, again remembering William's teaching phrases.
"If it had an H after it then yes it would be Ch, but on its own?"
Angelus mentally went through the other phrases that he'd been taught before offering, "Cer, Cat."
"Yeah. Anything else?" William sing-songed seductively, squirming against his Sire as he tried to give him a hint.
Angelus groaned as his Childe's engorged length came into contact with his own hardening cock.
William raised an eyebrow at him expectantly, waiting to see the moment of realisation.
"Cer, Cock," Angelus smiled wickedly after a moment, grabbing his Childe's hips and pulling him tighter to his own body and pushing up against him to enforce his answer.
"Yeah, that's right," William answered a little breathily as he rocked back against Angelus before reaching down between their bodies and resting his hand against the bulge that he found there. He looked down at his Sire questioningly. A nod told him that he was more than welcome to continue.
Undoing Angelus' britches William freed his Sire's cock, wrapped his hand around the girth and began a slow rhythm. Angelus sighed and closed his eyes contentedly, then almost as suddenly opened them again and starred questioningly at William who had abruptly ceased his actions in order to retrieve the card that has been discarded beside them.
"Will," Angelus half groaned, half warned.
"Nope, Will starts with W. Next is D," he pointed out the letter, "what sound does D make?"
"Der, Do it!" Angelus answered sternly.
William grinned then obediently back-crawled all the way down his Sire's body, holding his gaze as he went. Angelus watched him with wide eyed anticipation. William opened his mouth as if to take his Sire's length but then stopped. Angelus scowled down at him. "Next letter first," William grinned. Angelus' brow furrowed further but he picked up the card that his Childe had dropped on his chest.
"E," Angelus stated flatly.
"And what sound does it make? I'll give you a clue," Will waggled both eyebrows suggestively before giving Angelus what he wanted, closing his eyes and groaning in pleasure as he slipped his mouth down over his Sire's hard shaft.
Angelus too closed his eyes and settled back to enjoy the ride. He wasn't best pleased when that talented mouth was gone all too soon.
"William," he warned once more.
"Already told you, that's a W. "Now E sounds like?"
"Suck me," Angelus growled.
"That's an S. E sounds like?" William continued to push his luck, although in truth he knew he was perfectly safe and really wasn't at all surprised that Angelus was letting him behave like this, letting him get away with such obvious disobedience that he wouldn't tolerate from any other. He knew as well as Angelus that the rules which applied to every other being on the planet, didn't apply to him, he was the apple of his Sire's eye and could get away with pretty much anything.
"Ee, Eat me!"
"I was thinking Ee, Engluf, but eat me works too," William looked thoughtfully at Angelus, who rolled his eyes incredulously at him and motioned towards his neglected cock.
William threw him a shit eating grin, his eyes sparkling mischievously before one swift movement had the head of his Sire's cock nestled securely at the back of his throat.
"Fuck, God Will, Hmmph," Angelus' hips bucked upwards as he threw his head back hard against the floor at the unexpected sensation.
He growled when once again William stopped what he was doing and removed his mouth to speak.
"You did that all without thinking," he sounded impressed. "F, G and H, but you forgot to make the sounds," he smiled sweetly and batted his eyelids, really stretching his luck now.
"Fer, Fuck, Ger, God and Her, Head now!" Angelus ground out rapidly, then grabbed the back of his Childe's head and forced him back to work.
William indulged Angelus for a while, using his talented mouth to lead his Sire to float in a sea of pure bliss. He purred happily when Angelus hands came to rest in his hair and unconsciously massaged his scalp.
"I?" William asked around Angelus' cock.
"What?" Angelus murmured sounding far away and having long forgotten the alphabet game they'd been playing.
"I, what sound does it make?" William asked awkwardly, his mouth full.
After a long silence Angelus finally answered, "Ii, Igloo."
William couldn't help but laugh. Angelus was right but it sounded strange given what they were doing.
"Ii, Idiot Childe, playing with fire for laughing at his Sire and asking questions when his mouth should be otherwise occupied," Angelus stated with mock annoyance, clipping his boy lightly around the head.
"Hey!" William stopped laughing and raised his head to look indignantly at his Sire, his face softened and slipped into his usually cheeky grin when he saw Angelus smirking at him.
"How about Ii, Irresistible Childe?" He offered instead.
"You know you are," Angelus told him truthfully, sincerely, as he made a show of rubbing his hands through William's hair affectionately.
"Yeah, well," William said smugly with a shrug, then took up pleasuring Angelus once again without further question.
"Jesus fucking Christ," Angelus cried out in ecstasy at the sheer exquisiteness of a move that his boy pulled on him. "Jer, Jesus," he mumbled brokenly, realising that he'd moved on to the next letter by chance, "that right?"
"Yeahhhhh," William purred against him causing a strong vibration which instantly found his head held immobile in a vice like grip.
"Fuck," Angelus panted. "Shit I'm not gonna last if you do that. C'mere," he softly urged Will to come back into his arms.
"Ker, Kiss," Angelus whispered so softly, gazing into his Childe's clear blue eyes before moving in and gently kissing his lips.
"Yeah," William sighed breathlessly, his eyelids fluttered closed and he opened his mouth to deepen their kiss.
Neither made any attempt to speed up the slow, easy, sensual kiss, just letting it happen, deepen and build in intensity.
Angelus rolled them so that he was on top. Neither broke the kiss as both worked to strip the other of all offending clothes that prevented their bodies from touching and restricted the path of their hands across each other's skin.
It was William's turn to groan in loss as Angelus finally released his mouth, "Ler, Love you." Angelus again held his Childe's gaze, wanting to make sure that William truly saw the depth of his love at that moment. "Love you William," he said again picking up their kiss again, "Always."
"Love you too Sire," William whispered reverently into their kiss.
"Mer, Mine." It wasn't a question and even though Angelus merely murmured that one simple word, William nevertheless heard and felt its full fierce possessiveness and knew all that it entailed.
"Yours," he offered back as he always did, and knew from Angelus fully bodied pleasured groan that he'd delivered his own simple compliant answer with just as much impact and meaning.
They rocked harder, more forcefully against one another as their passion grew further still. Their kisses became more desperate and frenzied as hands grabbed and pulled at flesh impatiently, no longer content to merely stroke and explore. Teeth and lips roamed and tasted tender flesh as soft moans and gasps began to fill the room.
"Ner, nees," Angelus instructed with a lust roughened voice.
"Close enough," William murmured, not bothering to correct Angelus' mistake in the spelling of knees as he let his knees fall even wider apart, revealing himself to Angelus.
Angelus raised himself to half kneel between his boy's open legs and sucked suggestively on his own thumb, lubricating it as William watched eagerly with heavily lidded eyes.
"Oohhh," William whimpered as his Sire's slick thumb breached his entrance and the remaining fingers fanned out to stroke and massage his balls.
"I'm supposed to be telling you that," Angelus hushed as he worked to prepare and pleasure his Childe.
"Please," William finally spoke softly but with tight desperation in his voice, squirming against Angelus' thumb.
"That's Per, please," Angelus whispered as he slipped his hand free, leaned forward and replaced the digit with his cock head.
Angelus looked questioningly at his boy below him, who nodded that he was ready.
William's eyes were wide, fixed intently on Angelus' dark comforting eyes as he was slowly penetrated.
Angelus watched entranced as William's face contorted to reflect the wonderful sensations he was feeling, his mouth moving to form soundless shapes of sheer ecstasy.
"You're beautiful," Angelus' hushed, trying with difficulty to keep his eyes open against the intense pleasure building within himself as he sank further into his Childe's body lest he miss a single expression on his beloved's face.
Fully sheathed, Angelus stilled and fought against the urge to move as he felt his Childe's channel contracting and pulsing around his length, trying to adjust to the welcome, wanted intrusion.
William didn't want to wait and began to rock impatiently against his Sire, breaking his resolve and setting him in motion too, urging him on.
Spurred on by his Childe's actions and seeing the urgency reflected in delirious blue eyes, Angelus took his weight on his arms and set a slow yet powerful rhythm dragging his cock deliciously slowly out of William's passage to give him the full experience of being exited before thrusting forcefully back into the hilt with each rocking movement of his hips.
Angelus knew exactly what his boy liked and with only a few such strokes had William gripping his biceps hard enough to draw blood where his nails dug into the solid muscle.
Angelus didn't miss a stroke as he transferred his weight onto one large arm and took hold of William's cock with his now free hand, taking him in a loose grip yet fisting him at a furious pace just the way his boy liked it.
"Oh fuck Sssire," William suddenly arched his hips up forcefully against Angelus, his head crashing back hard against the floor as his whole midsection bowed skyward and froze rigid as the first tendrils of orgasmic bliss began to grow and spread throughout his entire body.
Angelus switched to a hard and slow motion with his hand now, timing it just right, knowing exactly what moves his boy needed and when.
"Uh-uh-uhnnngh," William's eyes rolled back in his head as he reached his goal, his cock throbbing as pulse after pulse of creamy fluid was forced up out of the slit on his cock head and spurted over his Sire's fist.
Childe in the throws of passion, Angelus finally gave in to his own release as his boy's internal muscles contracted and pulsed violently around his cock milking him for all that he was worth. The intensity of his orgasm was thrown into overdrive hearing his Childe cry out a final time before collapsing boneless against him with a shudder.
"William, fuck yes, Jesus Christ yesss, W.Will, Will," Angelus cried in completion presented with the sight of his Childe spread beneath him, face flushed with lust ridden serenity and satisfaction.
Angelus was careful not to crush William as he flopped down against him.
They held each other, panting from exertion and trying to catch breath that would never truly come until suddenly William began to laugh.
Angelus pulled his head back a little a looked at him perplexed, "What's so funny?"
"You missed out a whole bunch of letters."
"Huh?" Angelus looked confused.
"We were going through the alphabet remember?" William reminded him. "I think you covered W and Y, with `WWilliam, yyyes, Will,'" William drew out the words in a mimic of Angelus lusty cries.
"In that case I think `SSire' will do for the S," Angelus imitated his Childe's breathy words, "and maybe your elegant uh-uh-uhngh, for U," Angelus stated with wink.
"So, I wasn't um, very em vocal," William smiled lightly as he defended himself.
"Oh on the contrary, you were *very* Ver, Vocal," Angelus replied, lowering his voice seductively as he leant in to nuzzle against his Childe's neck and kissing him there before moving back to claim his mouth once more.
The kiss was eventually broken as William couldn't contain the sleepy yawn that had been threatening to intrude for a while.
"So," Angelus whispered, "what ones did we miss out then?"
"Um," William thought for a moment then replied, "Q, R, T, X and Z."
"Right," Angelus rolled on to his back pulling William half back on top of himself. "Qer, Quite know I love you. Rer, Really know I love you. Ter, totally love you. X, xspecially love you."
"That's an E, especially," William corrected tiredly, wiggling about to get into a comfy resting position.
"Do you care?" Angelus asked lightly.
"No, not xspecially," William stressed the X as he snuggled closer into his Sire's hold, settling down.
Hyperion Hotel, Los Angeles
Angel awoke to find himself laying in a wet patch. "Just another dream," he whispered through a disappointed world weary sigh. In the dream he'd fallen asleep with his Childe safely in his arms, but now in this reality a lifetime later he'd woken up alone. Always alone.
He rolled over to look at the bedside clock, the red numbers displaying that it was only 4.27 am.
He knew that there was no chance of him falling back asleep now, not that he ever fell asleep easily anymore. After decades on his own he knew he should have gotten used to it by now, but realised that once you've shared a bed with a lover that it's never easy to sleep alone. Or wake up alone.
Rather than stay in an empty bed feeling sorry for himself and brooding about a past that he wished desperately he could change and pining over a Childe that he wanted back, Angel decided to get up.
He didn't bother to head for the shower to clean up, going instead in search of food. Ever hopeful that this sustenance would fill the emptiness that always seemed to haunt him.
Walking past the TV he flicked it on for a bit of noise, a bit of company in this empty hotel. It was always so quite, so.dead. Even when the others were here the place still felt empty and lifeless. Empty because the sounds that Angel listened out for, the one voice that he longed to hear, the single presence that he desperately needed to feel, were never and most likely never would come.
Angel knew that it wasn't really the hotel's atmosphere that made him feel the way he did. He'd been living with this emptiness long before he came here. The emptiness was within him and he'd destroyed the only chance he ever had to feel anything but dead and alone when he'd left his Childe.
"C is for cookie that's good enough for me," sang a blue furry monster on the screen as Angel emptied a blood bag into his mug and popped it in the microwave.
By the time the microwave pinged, the blue monster had been replaced by a big yellow bird and a strange messy elephant looking creature who was helping him to learn the alphabet. "House, that's good Bird. Now try this one Ii, I is for?"
"Igloo," replied both the oversized chicken and Angel simultaneously.
Angel smiled a sad smile of remembrance. He couldn't help but let his eyes wander over to the bookshelf and rest on the second from top shelf. He put his mug down on the side and with a sigh made his way over to the shelf and pulled down a book, a small ratty book with its edges broken and bent. He ran his fingers lovingly over the badly scuffed front cover before opening the book to reveal pages of handwritten words intended to teach, painstakingly taped and glued back into a spine that was at one time broken.
Angel's eyes misted over with tears as moved an old alphabet card aside to read the inscription, "My Dearest Angelus, I love you my Sire. Mine. Always and forever. Your Childe, William."
"Always and forever," Angel repeated the words softly. It could have been so, if only he hadn't left. If he hadn't been so lost and scared, if only.hell, he could `if only' as much as he liked, it wouldn't change a thing. He'd left. He'd lost, and he'd been lost ever since.
Looking back at the book Angel allowed himself a small smile as he read the additional line, "Remember the *fucking* alphabet?" Oh yes, the pun was intended.
"I do Will," Angel spoke softly to the empty room, closing the book and brining it to his nose to capture the scent of his lost Childe.
"I'm sorry," a voice on the TV drew Angel's attention. "Elmo didn't mean to make Zoe feel bad," a little red monster told his orange friend. "Can we be friends again and finish our game?"
"It's not that easy," Angel murmured in his `voice of wisdom' tone.
"Ok," The orange one smiled and forgave her friend easily without a second thought.
"Huh?" Angel's mouth fell open. "Yeah well you're on a kids show," Angel huffed indignantly at the characters, recovering his bruised pride.
He watched the orange monster as she turned over a card on the table in front of her and her red friend. "It's a Z," she told the red one, Elmo, excitedly.
"What can you think of that begins with Z?" she sing-songed, obviously with something in mind.
What was Z for? Angel wondered. He couldn't remember what word he'd chosen and the dream always ended before he got to that part. Maybe they never finished the game. He was wracking his brain when Elmo on the telly finally thought of something beginning with Z.
"Zoe!" Elmo exclaimed, "Zoe, starts with the letter Z!"
Rupert Giles's house, Sunnydale
"Hmm?" Giles answered the phone, woken from a deep sleep.
"Spike, I need to speak to Spike."
"It's," Giles rubbed his eyes, slipped on his glasses and waited for the readout on the clock to swing into focus, "just gone 5.00," he said irritated.
"I know. I'm sorry, but it's important. I really need to speak to Spike. Is he there?"
"Probably," Giles mumbled then didn't bother to pull the phone away from his mouth as he shouted "Oi, you there?" and practically burst Angel's sensitive eardrums.
"What?" Angel heard a disgruntled voice in the background.
"Phone," Giles shouted back, closely followed by a squealed, "Spike get out of my room! Pick up the one in the kitchen."
"Like I want to look at your naked arse anyway," Angel heard Spike grumble as he obviously left the Watcher in peace.
"Got it," Spike's voice was loud and clear as he picked up the extension. Giles instantly hung up the phone he was holding and sought to go back to sleep.
"Yeah?" Spike said into the receiver.
"Hello?" He asked impatiently when no one spoke to him.
"Stop sodding about and speak or I'm hanging up," Spike instructed the reluctant to speak caller after a couple of seconds.
"What was Z?"
"Angelus?" Spike asked confused.
"A for Angel, aaah," he sounded out, now wondering what he'd been thinking when he'd made the call.
Angel's voice faltered with his next words when that last comment had been received with silence. At least Spike hadn't hung up on him.
"A for Apology." Angel cursed himself instantly wishing he hadn't said it in that tone. He could easily picture Spike's expression wondering if it was a question or statement.
"Apology," Angel stated firmly this time. "B.Bee. Been a complete arse, I have. Wish I could change the past. Wouldn't leave you again. Shouldn't have left you then. Had no choice. Been missing you. God I miss you. Begin again?" The hopefulness in his voice was unbearable.
Still there was silence.
"Please?" If Spike's hearing hadn't been so sharp he wouldn't have heard the softly spoken word, or the utter desperation and hopelessness behind it. "Please?" the voice said again, trailing off into nothingness.
Once more there was nothing but silence, yet neither man hung up the phone.
"I need you Spi.William. I know I don't deserve you, but want you. I love you William. Always have. Always will. I just wanted you to know that."
And still silence reigned.
"Sorry to have bothered you," Angel hushed with heartbreaking sadness. "Bye Will." He went to hang up the phone, but froze and pressed it to his ear when he heard Spike speak.
"We didn't finish the game," Angel could hear Spike's voice heavily choked with emotion. "Caught some Z's though; fell asleep," he elaborated.
"Will?" Spike could hear the tears in Angel's hope filled voice, rough and raw.
And again there was silence.
"Should probably be letting you catch up on some of those Z's now," Angel finally spoke gently, but sounded anything but ready to let Spike go. He didn't want to hang up but they couldn't just stay silent on an open line forever.
The silence seemed to go on for a lifetime, but still neither one hung up.
"Don't do that too well on my own anymore. You?" Spike asked.
"No," Angel admitted softly. He swallowed hard, summoned all of his courage, closed his eyes and asked, "Want to finish the game together, help each other with the Z's?" Ok so it's sounded stupid now it was out in the open, but he couldn't take it back.
The silence stretched out even longer than before and still neither made a move to hang up.
"Will?"
"Leave the door open. Don't wanna go up in flames outside your poncy hotel now do I?"
Angel was stunned.
"Oh, and I think we'd best be starting with E for Explanation before moving onto F.."
Spike heard Angel's throat constrict in a gulp down the line.
"That's F for Forgiveness," Spike stated softly. "Although the F you were thinking of, dirty sod," he muttered under his breath, "might follow on from there if you play nice," he finished mischievously before hanging up and leaving a thoroughly shocked, stunned, yet ecstatic Angel listening to the dial tone.
The End