Pairing: Angelus/William & Angel/Spike
Disclaimers: I don’t own any of the Buffy or Angel characters. Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc do. No copyright infringement is intended or inferred and no profit is being made (as if people would pay money for my work anyway!)
Notes: A slashy perspective, but in keeping with canon. Inspired by a discussion/question on the ForgingGhost board.
Spoilers: Relevant episodes:
Angel Season 2 – Darla
Angel Season 5 – Destiny - THAT MEANS THIS MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS – YOU
HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!
Buffy Season 2 – School hard
Buffy Season 5 – Fool for love
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LONDON 1880
“Well, if you’re lonely Dru, why don’t you make yourself a playmate?” Angelus suggested to his Childe Drusilla, trying to comfort her as she claimed to feel all alone. He knew she wasn’t ready to make her own children yet, well at least not as far as he was concerned. He seriously doubted that a Childe would survive in her care and under her tuition alone and he didn’t want to be playing the role of grandsire just yet. Still, he thought that the promise of eventually having someone to call her own, someone for her to be a mummy to, would pacify her for the moment.
“I could. I could pick the wisest and bravest knight in all the land…and make him mine forever with a kiss,” Dru’s spirits perked up with Angelus’ words. She spoke dreamily, imagining what her playmate would look like, be like.
Having eased Dru’s momentary sadness, Angelus turned to walk on but stopped abruptly as a young man bumped into him.
“Watch where you’re going!” The young man snapped, after briefly stooping to pick up his fallen, tattered notebook before stumbling away under the vampires’ collective watchful eyes.
“Or you could just take the first drooling idiot that comes along,” Darla remarked on Dru’s last statement.
Angelus wasn’t listening to Darla. Something about the young man had peaked his interest, grabbed his attention and aroused him. Smelling of tears, pain, hurt, shame and anger, the man was vampiric aphrodisiac; intoxicating. His presence, although fleeting, was filled with such a raw passion and he was gorgeously handsome too.
Angelus knew that moment that he wanted him. He had to have him…and he would; only Darla would be a problem. Shit Darla! Was she asking him something? What was she saying? Angelus laughed a little nervously, not sure what Darla had said and therefore what his reaction to her words should have been. It seemed to be the right thing to do as she caused no complaint.
“You think she’ll find a good one?” Angelus asked Darla, feigning interest even as his brain was already trying to work out a plan as to how he would get the boy for himself. They walked on down the street, leaving Dru behind, her eyes still fixed on the man.
When Angelus realised that Dru wasn’t following, he saw his chance to slip away from Darla and go after his prize.
“Darling, Drusilla still seems terribly upset. I’d best stay with her and make sure that she doesn’t get into any trouble. Maybe I’ll find a nice treat to cheer her up. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’ll keep us awake all day with one of her turns if I don’t settle her,” he dropped in seemingly casually at the end, knowing full well that Darla would do anything to avoid having to suffer one of Dru’s outbursts.
“I think that would be wise for all of us,” Darla conceded easily. “I’ll see you at home later,” Darla suggested, then kissed Angelus goodbye before stalking off in search of other amusements.
Angelus didn’t really have any intention of checking on Dru as he’d told Darla. He knew that his Childe was no longer upset and didn’t need him to comfort her, therefore he was a little frustrated when she spied him and headed over putting his plans on hold for a while longer.
“Daddy, you know you said I could have a playmate,” Dru sing-songed as she almost skipped towards him.
“Yes dear,” Angelus answered her distractedly as he scanned the street looking for a trace of the boy he wanted. What he wanted him for yet he wasn’t sure. He just knew that he had to have him. At the moment it was sexual satisfaction he wanted the boy for, only unusual for him, he did want to take him by force. He wanted him willingly. Darla wouldn’t know any difference when he came home smelling of sex.
The problem was that Angelus wanted the boy for more than just his body in the long run. He’d thought the man beautiful, and just as Darla had commented about the sailor, he thought that a beauty such as that should be preserved for eternity…and that would be a problem. Darla would be insanely jealous and cause hell for him. She’d probably have his ball sac as a purse for even thinking of taking another Childe. It had been bad enough when he’d turned Drusilla. Although things had got better with time, the early days dealing with his jealous Sire and her constant abuse to his Childe were a living hell…bad enough that he didn’t ever want a repeat of those days.
“Well I’ve seen the one I want,” Dru continued, unaware that Angelus’ mind was wandering elsewhere.
“Have you? Oh that’s nice,” Angelus answered, almost an automatic response.
“Oh yes. It’s a boy. He has the same colour hair as Miss Aimee and he’s pretty like her too,” Dru enthused.
“Miss Aimee?” Angelus muttered, half listening to her as much as any indulgent parent pretends to do when preoccupied.
“The dolly you gave me in France silly. Oh and Daddy the boy smelled so delicious...and sad?” She questioned herself, not sure if she’s chosen the right emotion to describe the one whom she had her eye on. “He smelt even nicer after he bumped into you…more angry and spicy. Can I have him Daddy? I promise I’ll take care of him. Can I Daddy, please?”
Suddenly Dru has Angelus full attention and almost as instantly his brain came up with a solution to his problem.
“I don’t see why not dear,” he flashed her a ‘snakelike’ smile and led her in the direction of the alleyway that the man had disappeared into.
They paused at the mouth of the alley. Angelus scented the air and sure enough he could smell the man in all his tearful, sorrowful glory.
“He’s still there. I can smell him Daddy,” Dru confided.
“Yes,” Angelus agreed, his voice not once breaking to reveal the nervousness that he was now feeling inside. Although he’d got a plan formulated in his mind, he needed Dru to make it work.
“Dru, do you remember how you once asked me how you were made? How fledglings were made?” Angelus questioned.
“Yes, and you told me I was made with a kiss,” Dru answered.
“That’s right,” Angelus replied, managing to conceal the mischievous grin he could feel trying to break out on his face. He had never seen fit to explain to Dru how fledglings were made. He hadn’t wanted to be burdened with any of her offspring, which if he didn’t want her to have to watch them perish, he’d have no choice but to take on the role of surrogate Sire. He could do that tonight and have this man, but no, that wasn’t enough for him. That wasn’t his plan.
“Can I kiss him now and be his Mummy?” Dru asked innocently.
“In a moment,” he promised. “Dru, I need you to listen to me very carefully. If you don’t do exactly as I say then your new playmate will die. Now you don’t want that do you?” There, nothing like a little fear to get someone to listen to you. “I doubt we’d be able to find you another boy with that exact hair colour, or with as pretty a face,” Angelus added for good measure, well aware of where Dru’s concerns about her playmate lay.
“I’m listening Daddy,” Dru assured him. “…with both ears. What do I need to do?”
“Well, first you must talk to him a little, you can’t just go in and show him your face or he might try to run…”
“What shall I talk to him about?” Dru cut in.
“Look into his head and find something there, read his thoughts,” Angelus instructed, knowing full well that Dru was capable of such feats. “Say things that will make him…um…less sad and want to be your friend.”
“Then I can kiss him?”
“Yes then you can kiss him, only it’s a little more complicated than that. It’s a special kiss, a bite really.”
“You want me to eat him?”
“No!” Angelus voice rose in panic, but he got himself under control fast. “No,” he repeated more calmly. “I want you to bite him as if you’re going to feed on him, but you must remember to be very gentle. You don’t want to hurt him…or ruin his pretty neck. A good Mummy wouldn’t do that would they?”
Dru shook her head no; she wanted to be a good Mummy.
“Good. Now this is very important. Are you listening Dru? You must drink until he is unconscious, but no more or he’ll die….and that would make you the worst Mummy ever, you’d surely go to Hell.” It was a cruel thing to say, but Angelus had learnt that the best way to manipulate Dru was through fear, and to use her religious beliefs, or his own safety, always ensured the maximum effect. Drusilla couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to her beloved Daddy and the poor girl was petrified about the thought of going to Hell; although it never seemed to occur to her muddled brain that she was already damned.
“I’ll be the best Mummy ever,” Dru promised resolutely. “And when I’ve bitten him, he’ll be my Childe?”
“Yes,” Angelus lied to her. “Now go ahead and remember everything I’ve said,” Angelus encouraged her to venture into the depths of the alleyway. “I’ll be watching you Dru,” he added with a hint of warning as she walked into the depths of the alley.
Angelus watched as Dru did as he’d bid her do. She’d spoken to the young man, gained his trust or at least peaked his curiosity and she’d drunk her fill from him. Then, only when he was sure that the man was unconscious, Angelus approach the pair.
“Daddy, I did it,” Dru said, her voice full of wonder and amazement.
“Yes you did, and what a lovely Childe you’ve made,” replied Angelus as he knelt down beside the body, took hold of the man’s face and slowly turned his head to expose the wound for his inspection. “Very neatly done,” Angelus praised Drusilla. “Just a little spill,” he said as he purposely squeezed the wound to cause the blood to flow afresh. “Allow me,” he offered as he bent lower, covering Dru’s bite marks with his own lips in pretence of cleaning her Childe. Angelus drank until he felt that man’s life slip gently away. The blood of this man would have been nectar to the devil himself, rich, so full of passion and life. Angelus had never tasted anything so...perfect.
“Now let’s see if he’ll make a good vampire; see if he likes to drink blood.” Angelus bit into his own wrist and put it to the young man’s mouth.
Dru looked on anxiously as Daddy ‘checked’ that her new Childe was alright. Unaware of what was truly transpiring before her own eyes, Dru watched as the blood from her Daddy’s vein trickled into her fledgling’s mouth. Some of her worry dissipated as she saw her new baby gradually became more animated in his quest for food.
Drusilla jumped, startled when Angelus suddenly groaned loudly in pleasure as her Childe now fed heartily from his wrist.
“Do you like him Daddy?” Dru asked innocently of Angelus’ sounds of pleasure. “He seems to be feeding well. Have I made a good vampire?” She asked wanting his reassurance.
“He’s, he’s perfect,” Angelus tried to keep his voice under control, looking up at her with lust-lidded eyes. “You’re such a clever girl,” he praised her. “Here, see how pleased I am with you,” he took hold of Dru’s hand and led her to cup the swollen length within in his trousers. Better for her to think he was hard because of her actions and not those of *his* new Childe.
Xxx
As Angelus sat back and watched Dru tending to the lifeless body of her new baby, his brain finally caught up with the enormity of what he’d really done. He’d stolen Dru’s Childe. That thought didn’t bother him and what Dru didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, but could he get away with what he’d done? He had to make sure that he wouldn’t be found out. Dru believed that the boy was hers, and the man would know no different when he awoke. More worrying though than the question of could he conceal his secret, was could he now live with it?
Watching Dru coo over the boy, Angelus knew that it should be his arms that the Childe rested in. He felt a foreign emotion pass through him, alien and yet easily recognisable as jealousy. This wasn’t going to work…and yet it had to. This was the only way that Darla would let the boy live in peace.
The burden of keeping this new secret was already beginning to weigh heavily on Angelus’ shoulders.
He’d known that the boy would fall into his care, that he’d be Sire by nature, even if he was never called so by name. He’d thought he could live with that, but now that his plan had come to life, become a reality, he knew that he couldn’t. It would never be enough for him to merely act as a surrogate for the Childe. He didn’t know he’d feel this way. He certainly hadn’t experienced these intense feelings when he’d made Dru. This man was something special, far more precious. This Childe had touched him somehow, had woken something dormant within him. But what? And how? All Angelus knew as he looked at his male Childe was that the heart he thought long dead was very much alive. He knew because he could feel it breaking.
Xxx
Angelus pushed his feelings aside for the moment. He had to. There were things that needed to be dealt with. In order for this whole scam to work Darla had to believe that the newest member of their family belonged to Dru. It was now up to Angelus to make sure that his female Childe retained the secret that she didn’t even know she was carrying.
Angelus sighed heavily with the pretence of being distraught. With the way he was feeling, the pretence came easy.
“What’s wrong,” Dru asked full of concern.
“I’ve been so silly dear. What ever shall I do?” he played up to Dru in false despair.
“Daddy?”
“I don’t know what to do. Darla is going to be very angry with me,” he covered his eyes with his hand as if he were about to cry.
“Angry enough to hurt you?” Dru grinned insanely.
“Yes. Only not in a good way,” He answered sadly, causing Dru’s smile to turn into a worried frown.
“Can I help you?” She offered.
“It’s just, well you see…I know she’ll be angry if she knows that your Childe drank my blood as his first drink. She’ll probably stake me…in fact, I know she will,” Angelus released a convincing cry of distress and played fully on Dru’s worst fear…the thought of losing her Daddy.
“No,” Drusilla wailed, “I’ll tell her that you were only checking that I’d made him right, that he was a real vampire. Why will she be angry with you?” Drusilla still couldn’t see what the problem was.
“I’m sorry Dru, I shouldn’t be worrying you’re pretty little head with my problems,” he avoided having to make up an explanation. “I’ll just have to accept Darla’s punishment,” he sighed in resignation. “I hope I don’t go to Hell when I’m dust,” he added.
“What if she didn’t know?” Dru offered clearly distressed.
“What do you mean?” Angelus gasped as if he had no idea what Dru was on about.
“We don’t have to tell her,” Dru stated.
“You mean lie to her?” Angelus asked shocked.
“No, I’d never lie to Grandmother or you. But we could forget to tell her. Couldn’t we?” Dru asked cautiously.
“Like a secret?” Angelus asked sounding awed at Dru’s cleverness, and letting a little hope creep into his voice.
“Yes, just like a secret,” Dru said calming down now.
“It might work…but no, we’d have to tell her something….”
“A story,” Dru suggested excitedly, “I like stories.”
“But what ever would we say?” Angelus asked cunningly, ready to point Dru in exactly the right direction.
“Well we could tell her what happened and just leave out some bits,” Dru said hopefully.
“I don’t know if that would work. Hmm, let me think. Now what really did happen tonight?” Angelus pondered aloud before supplying Dru with the version of events that he wanted her to remember.
“It started when you saw the boy. You thought he smelt nice, had lovely hair and a pretty face. You asked me if he could be your playmate. You were sad, ever so sad and so I said yes to make you happy. Remember?”
“I was sad?”
“Yes, sad and lonely after seeing the dead sailor. Remember?” Angelus tried to muddle the sequence of events in Dru’s mind.
“Oh yes, I remember now. Then you took me to find the man and I went into the alleyway after him. You told me to drink from him until he was unconscious and then he’d be my new baby.”
“I told you to feed from him and then give him a little drink, remember?”
“No, you told me to feed carefully and that’s all.”
“Drusilla, are you calling me a liar?”
“No Daddy, never. Maybe I forgot to remember.”
“I think that perhaps you did. I’m certain that I told you to give him a drink. Never no mind. I fed him didn’t I? Only Darla must never know that or she’ll stake me remember? You don’t want me to die and go to Hell now do you? I think we should say that you gave him his first drink; after all that’s what a good Mummy would do isn’t it? You don’t want Grandmother to think that you’re a bad Mummy and kill your baby now do you? In fact, the way I remember it, I’m sure I saw you feed him a little before I got there. Do you remember Dru?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Think hard. Imagine it in your head. You drunk from the man, then you thought that he’d like a drink so you cut your wrist and held it to his mouth. I think you imagined it was my wrist. Maybe you were thinking about when I made you and got a bit muddled. Maybe you thought you saw me doing it, but I know it was you. I saw you do it. You do remember don’t you?” Of course, once Dru visualised the scene and overlaid it with what she’d really seen, she was left with a twisted memory of the event. Of course she’d fed the boy.
“Yes I remember. How silly of me to forget. I fed from him then gave him some blood back, just like you told me to. Actually I think it was me all along. You didn’t feed him at all did you?”
“No Dru, that’s my clever girl. I knew you’d remember.”
“And you fed from him too,” Dru said excitedly.
“No Dru, that was you too. I just cleaned up a little that you’d spilled remember, two licks and he was all clean again.”
“I think I’ve forgotten his name too…or maybe I never knew it, I’ll have to ask him what he wants to be called when he wakes up. But the rest, yes, I remember now. He was all clean, then I held him and, and, and here we are now,” Dru finished, realising that their story had come around to the present moment. “All we have to do now is bury him.”
“You want to bury him?” Angelus asked warily, remembering clearly how terrifying it was to wake up in that situation. Then again, thinking about it that might be the best thing to do. He’d dig a shallow grave and leave Dru in charge of watching over it. A little bit of incentive in the form of fear and Dru would make a perfect watchwoman. That would give him time to go back and tell Darla what had happened without Dru around. Then he’d go back and sit with Dru, wait for his Childe to wake and then dig him up. His boy wouldn’t have to be afraid, wouldn’t have to fight his way into the world.
Angelus had been reluctant to leave Dru standing guard, but he promised her that he’d be back to help her later as he wanted to see what she’d made. She’d told him happily that if he couldn’t make it back in time, then not to worry.
Xxx
“You let her what?” Darla shrieked.
“She was upset. I thought it would be alright, we were only taking about it this very night,” Angelus tried. “You said that she could even turn an idiot if she wanted to.” Was that what she’d said? It was something like that he was sure.
“I was joking Angelus…as well you know.”
“Does it really matter Darling…” Angelus began. The fingernails raked across his face told him that yes, it mattered.
“And how will she raise a Childe?” Darla asked impatiently.
“I’ll help her.” At these words Darla studied Angelus intently then sighed. What was done was done.
“Where is she now?”
“Grave watching, I’ll go and help her dig him up later.”
“So it’s a boy?” Darla said, an inch of suspicion creeping into her voice. “Funny that. You wanted a boy yourself didn’t you?”
“I admit I did, but you forbid me.”
“So you got Drusilla to do it for you?”
“No. I would never dream of doing such a thing. Sire, I swear it’s the truth. She chose him herself, said he had pretty hair and a pretty face. I had nothing to do with it.”
“But you didn’t attempt to stop her?” Darla looked knowingly at him.
“I told you, she was upset and I thought….”
“Yes, yes, you said already,” Darla cut him off. “I suppose she really does need someone of her own so…I’ll allow Dru to keep her Childe on one condition. Is that fair? You are forbidden to help her, or her Childe to rise from his grave. If she can manage to bring him into this world by herself, then she may keep him.”
“Thank you,” Angelus hushed, voice full of gratitude and calmness, inside he was having a full blown panic attack. Oh Shit! How was he going to get back to his boy without Darla finding out? Think Angelus, think!
“So whom did she choose then?” Darla asked, breaking into the nightmare currently running in his head.
Angelus laughed nervously, “well um, back to the idiot thing…” he let his words hang in the air.
“She turned an idiot? Could you not have at least…oh you mean she turned *the* idiot,” Darla stated, it suddenly dawning on her what Angelus was on about. Darla spoke calmly, too calmly as she asked, “Now tell me Angelus, why doesn’t this surprise me?” Shit she knew. Not that her Childe had turned him, he wouldn’t dare, but knew that he’d seen something in the boy, wanted him perhaps. And now he’d let Drusilla bring him into the family.
“Sire,” Angelus pleaded as he backed up across the room, trying to pacify Darla before she exploded as he knew she would. Shit was he in trouble! He in for a world of pain!
Xxx
Noises? Noises in the main room? Drusilla’s voice and…a man? Oh shit! Angelus snapped to full consciousness. Darla has certainly done a number on him. He looked down at his battered body, always the body – she hardly ever touched his face. Still it would be gone soon and the beating, what he remembered of it, was worth it.
He couldn’t believe that Dru had actually brought the boy, his boy, home in one piece. He hadn’t given her enough credit. Deep claming breath, no that’s a panicky breath, try again, deep calming breath. He was going to meet his boy…but he mustn’t look to keen. Play it cool…yeah, he could do that.
“Angelus? Who the bloody hell is Ang…”
Angelus slipped silently into the main room, no matter his boy obviously didn’t need to hear him as he turned instantly to face him. He’d felt him. The boy had felt Angelus presence. If Angelus heart could beat, it would have stopped dead then.
Dru didn’t seem to notice any import in her Childe’s actions, but Darla would have known right away. The only way he’d have ‘felt’ Angelus, was if he was his Childe.
Angelus was almost blown away with the feelings he was receiving from the lad, how could their bond be this strong? The man regarded Angelus strangely too; very aware that there was something monumental happening between them but unsure of quite what it was. He could actually ‘feel’ this man before him, felt some sort of…connection. He was sure he knew this Angelus already, but how could he? He knew he’d have remembered such a handsome face.
Dru’s voice barely interrupted their appraisal of each other, “Look what I made. It’s called Willy.”
“William,” William corrected her distractedly.
“Where’s Darla? I want Darla to see William,” asked Drusilla.
“Darla and I had a little spat. Her precious master sent for her. You know Darla. Master's pet,” Angelus lied.
“Oh. Poor Angelus,” Drusilla crooned.
“Ah, don't fret, Dru. We'll make up. Always do,” He touched his slightly injured face, “Mmm. Ow. After a little tit for tat. Shouldn't let that spoil our fun here.” Angelus couldn’t resist letting his eyes ravage William’s body. Oh how he wanted him, but he had to play it cool he reminded himself. Well to some extent at least. It was pretty difficult when he could feel that same need, hot and raw radiating within his male Childe. He couldn’t keep the slight infection of frustration out of his voice as he asked, “So, instead of just feeding off of this William... you went and turned him into one of us. Another rooster in the henhouse.” Yeah that was good. William wouldn’t suspect that Angelus knew anything of him now.
“You're not cross with me, are you?” asked Drusilla wryly. Well maybe his tone had been spiked with a little…jealously? He was having a hard time here trying to appear unaffected and emotionless.
“Cross?” Before Angelus was even aware of his own actions he’d taken hold of William’s arm and was holding it a stray ray of light peaking in from the curtains. What the hell was he doing that for? He couldn’t understand it himself. He was going crazy. “Do you have any idea what it's like having nothing but women as travel companions, night in and night out?” Angelus tried to keep his voice calm, but failed miserably. Jesus he wanted to throw William down and take him right there and oh no, not good sending weird vibes through their bond, ruffling William.
Afraid and confused by the feelings that this Angelus was provoking in him William angrily snatched his hand away from Angelus, “Touch me again…” Christ what the hell was happening here? The amount of venom to his words was right but the words themselves? William felt as if he was losing his mind.
“Don't mistake me. I do love the ladies. It's just lately... I've been wondering...” Angelus held his own hand out into the sunbeam as he spoke, sending a silent message to his Childe, ‘see it won’t hurt you. I won’t let it hurt you.’ Angelus continued to talk, twisting his hand in the beam as he did so, “…what it'd be like...to share the slaughter of innocents... with another man. Don't... don't think that makes me some kind of a deviant, hmm? Do you?” What the fuck? Angelus just couldn’t seem to stop his mouth from spiting out words that he didn’t want to be saying, well words that weren’t right for him to be saying if he wanted to maintain any control over this situation that he’d created. Oh and fucking hell! William was now voluntarily sticking his hand out into the sunbeam as he’d seen Angelus do. Did he know what he was doing? Was he even aware that he was letting Angelus know that he’d received his subliminal messages loud and clear and by copying, was showing that he trusted him?
Angelus wanted to shout out loud for the joy of it and weep for the sadness of it.
He managed to get control, over himself and settled for slapping William affectionately on the shoulder, “Ah! I like this one! You and me, we're gonna be the best of friends.”
Xxx
The happy little threesome turned into a dysfunctional foursome. One minute all the best of friends and the next, at each others throats. Jealousy ruled supreme and fights were plenty. But there was still love, plenty of time for love and happiness amongst the violence and sorrow.
Xxx
Angelus knew that William viewed him as his role model, regarded him as his Sire…when it suited him at least. When it didn’t, he’d turn to Dru and play one Sire off against the other. Angelus wasn’t sure if William every really knew the truth though. He was sure that Spike, as he liked to be called, suspected something though. He’d realised that he had a bond, a connection with Angelus, something that he didn’t have with Dru. He’d asked knowing questions, difficult questions. He’d suggested things, made obscure accusations but never really pushed the issue. It seemed that he wanted to know, but was somehow afraid to discover the truth.
Xxx
When they made love, William would call him Sire, and in the aftermath he’d curl up against him and tell Angelus how he wished it were truly so. In those precious moments Angelus would call him Childe and say how he wished it were so too.
Angelus had never let his secret slip and William had never asked outright. Would Angelus have told him if he had asked?
He knew he wanted to.
Xxx
“You were my Sire man…..”
Spike heard his own words as he said them aloud, heard them and knew that he believed it to be true. He’d always known; but now he’d just come out and said it loud and clear. The name that he’d never called Angelus, other than in fantasy, was easy to throw at this stranger, this imitation…and that threw Spike. He tried again. Wanted to say it and make it real…
“You were my…..Yoda.”
He failed.
The end