You want us?

Author: rollinginangeldust (aka Angel Dust)

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Angel and Spike

Feedback: Very much appreciated, Good, Bad or Ugly.even if it's only
to point out mistakes.

Archive: If you want it you can have it, please just let me know
where it's going though and credit it with my name, thanks.

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the Buffy or Angel characters, Joss
Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc do.  No copyright infringement is intended
or inferred and no profit is being made (as if people would pay money
for my work anyway!)

Warning: Male pregnancy and "possible" spoilers for Angel Season 4 in
the final sentences.  I say "possible" because it kinda remotely is,
kinda very much isn't, but saying this covers me either way.

Notes:  This story follows the Buffy and Angel timelines (well, near
enough.  Some bits have been twisted a little) as far as "Triangle"
and "Redefinition" respectively.then goes to Hell from there on.  Oh,
and can you please assume that Angel never did the trials for Darla?
You can?  Good.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 

~Part: 1~

8.03 Spike thought, checking the time readout on the dashboard, when
it gets to 8.03 I'll get out of the car and go in.

8.05, Ok 8.05 and I'll go in.

8.18, really when it flicks to 8.18 I'll go.

8.46 and Spike was annoyed with himself, all he had to do was get out
of the car, cross the road to the Hyperion, walk up the steps and go
in, tell Angel what he'd come to say and then.and then what?

8.52 "Right," he spoke aloud to himself, "Now or never."

8.59, his hand was shaking as he reached out and took hold of the
door lever.  On three.  He closed his eyes and counted to three.
Opened them, closed them and did the same again.  This time his
treacherous hand grasped and pulled the lever, quickly releasing the
catch and allowing the door to pop open before his brain could take
over and stop it.  This set the pace for more bodily betrayal.  His
legs swung gracefully out of the car and supported him, if somewhat
shakily, whilst his hand fiddled with the keys locking the car door.
Then his legs carried him off in the direction of the hotel's
entrance.  That same sneaky hand grasped hold of the handle on the
Hyperion's door, and that's when his brain caught up and left him
frozen to the spot.

Shit, one of Angel's groupies, what was he still doing here?  Spike
could backup, walk away, no one would know that.ok so now he'd been
spotted. He had no choice but to go in.

All tremors and shakes under control, Spike opened the glass door,
walked down the few steps and entered the lobby.

"Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Can I help you?"  The man behind the counter
introduced himself.

"Angel about?" Spike asked keeping it simple.

"I'm afraid not.  Can I perhaps be of some assistance?"

"When will he be back?" Spike asked, ignoring Wesley's offer of help.

"Um, I'm not sure.and you are?"

"I'll wait."  Spike dismissed him, walking away to take a seat on the
couch.

"Alright, but I'm really not sure how long he'll be," Wes spoke to
the retreating back and getting no answer, went back to flicking
through the papers that he'd been studying moments before.  He was
once again looking through the Aberjian prophecies.  It seemed to be
an endless task translating them, once he thought he'd figured one
bit out its meaning would change in relation as soon as he figured
out the next part.  Everything could be interpreted in so many ways
depending on what the rest of the text said.  They wouldn't really be
sure of the whole true meaning until every single part had been
uncovered.

Buckling down to his work, Wes soon forgot about the `client' sitting
on the couch.  Other than his fingers tapping a steady rhythm and his
jaw working with the action of chewing gum, Spike was pretty much
motionless and silent, lost in his own little world of thought and
easy to disregard.

It was only when Wes stopped working to stretch his arms that he
caught sight of the man still sitting, still waiting.  He glanced
towards the clock 10.13, time for a break.

"Uhmp," Wes coughed and Spike looked up at him.  "Could I offer you a
cup of coffee or tea?"

The man looked at him as if surprised to have been asked, "Yeah, um,
tea," then added as an afterthought, "please."

"Milk and sugar?"

"Yeah and five," Spike answered respectively.  Actually a cup of
sweet tea would be lovely he thought.  He was feeling a bit nauseous
and was getting that slightly dizzy feeling again, the one that
usually led to him fainting.  He'd discovered that keeping his sugar
levels up seemed to control his fainting attacks.

Wes just smiled obligingly, not letting out the "Five!!!" that was
floating around in his head.

xxXxx

"There you go," smiled Wes, setting down a cup of tea, complete with
a couple of biscuits resting in the saucer against the edge of the
cup.

"Cheers."

Wes took his own cup over to the counter with him and watched as
Spike awkwardly and laboriously pushed himself into a proper sitting
position from the more sprawl like posture that he'd been relaxing in
before.  Wes then he pulled his gaze away, cringing as Spike removed
a piece of gum from his mouth and stuck it onto the saucer. They
carried on the same as before, only now with the silence broken by
the occasional slurp of liquid being drunk or biscuits being munched.

xxXxx

"Oh fuck, not another one," the near silence was shattered as
Cordelia entered the lobby.

"Cordelia, language please," scolded Wes, nodding in the direction of
their `client', "Now, not another one of what?"

"That," she spat, pointing at Spike, "another one of Angelus'
family.  Spike."

"William the Bloody?" Wes questioned disbelievingly.  "Are you
sure?"  He'd read all about William the Bloody, and judging from his
behaviour tonight and looking over this man now, this was certainly
not what he would have expected of such a notorious killer.

"Yeah, that's me," Spike answered him plainly with no hint of pride
in his voice.  "Look, I don't want to cause any trouble.  I just want
to speak to Angel, then I'll." he spoke wearily.

"I don't think so," Cordelia cut in.

"I just need to tell.." Spike began as he struggled to lift himself
out of the chair to stand, then Cordelia's words clicked with
him.  "Hey, what do you mean another one?  Dru's here?"

"Yeah right, as if we'd let any of you lot stay here," Cordelia
answered sarcastically, "and no, I meant Darla."

"Darla, but she's."

"Dead?  Not anymore, but you will be if you don't get out of here
right now," she threatened.

"Darla?  Here?" Spike asked bewildered, "Here with Angel?"

"Yes, I thought we'd established that.  Now, you've got 10 seconds to
get out."

"Darla?" Spike questioned quietly to himself, seeming suddenly
shocked and overwhelmed as he sat back down heavily on the arm of the
couch.

"Yes, Darla," Cordelia stated bluntly, her limited patience running
out as if she'd told him a million times already.

Spike all at once seemed to lose his composure.  He began to panic,
patting his pockets wildly.  "No smoking in." Cordelia cut her words
off as Spike found what he was looking for, not his smokes as she'd
expected but a stick of gum.  She watched as he fumbled desperately
at the silver wrapper with trembling hands until he got to the gum
inside and shoved it in his mouth.  He sighed relieved for the
second, but continued to play nervously with the wrapper, twiddling
it between his fingers.

"5 seconds," Cordelia stated completely un-phased by his little
neurotic performance.

"Cordelia," Wes placed a restraining hand on her arm, he could
clearly see that something was wrong with Spike.

Spike felt tears begin to prick at his eyes, shit these damn hormones
were playing havoc with him.  He wanted to ask more questions.
Wanted to know.what?  He knew everything he needed to know.  For
whatever reason, Angel and Darla were together.  He'd been replaced.
But didn't he know this already?  Wasn't this why Angel had been
avoiding him recently, finding excuses for them not to meet up, not
returning his calls?  Wasn't that why Spike had taken the drastic
measure of actually appearing in the hotel and potentially blowing
the cover on their secret meetings?

Mulling everything over in his mind, Spike missed Cordelia and Wes
little conversation.  "Cordelia, look he seems rather.upset.  Don't
you think you're being a bit hard on him, why don't you just let him."

"Wes," she cut in incredulously, "this is Spike we're talking about,
soulless demon.  He's a vampire, nothing more than an animal.  This
is all an act.."

"I don't think it is, why don't we just."

"3," Spike heard Cordelia drone, cutting Wes off.  He wasn't going to
cry in front of them, but there was only one sure way to stop the
tears from falling.

"Fuck it, I'm going alright," he snarled in a sudden rage, donning
his game face and baring his fangs at the pair of them.  Just as
quickly his mood changed again although he didn't morph back, just
murmured quietly and dejectedly, "I'm going."

Cordy and Wes watched as he turned slowly on his heel and made his
way reluctantly towards the doors, looking utterly defeated with his
head hanging low and his shoulders curled forward, slumped and
looking very much the kicked puppy.  Cordelia could almost believe
his `act', gone was his usual swagger, replaced by strange semi-
waddle and a hand pressed firmly against the small of his back as he
disappeared into the night.

"See," said Cordelia.

"Yes," Wes agreed doubtfully.  "That was really William the Bloody?
I would never have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes,
not from the stories that I've read.  He didn't strike me as
particularly threatening or dangerous.  Actually if I'm truthful he
looked a little lost, delicate even and that walk, well he's
certainly injured.  He's just been sitting there quietly, not doing
much and drinking tea.  I don't know.  He just seemed so.harmless."

"That's what makes him so dangerous Wes, the harmless bit is just an
act to draw you in and make you drop your guard."

"Perhaps, but he could have attacked me at anytime if he'd wanted to."

"Actually he wouldn't have been able to attack you.  I heard from
Giles that he'd been de-fanged."

"De-fanged?  But, but I saw them."

"No not literally.  Some military group called the Initiative were
capturing demons and implanting them with behavioural chips that
stopped them from killing or harming humans.  Did you think that I
was a bit brave, weaponless in the presence of a vampire?"

"That's barbaric," Wes gasped without thinking, but explained himself
properly when Cordelia's eyebrows raised high enough to disappear
beneath her fringe.  "What I mean to say is that evil or not, it's
cruel to do such a thing.  Not that I condone what vampire's do of
course, but taking away their hunting capabilities and defences.well,
it would just be more humane to kill them quickly."

"What is with you Wes?  They deserve all they get, it's not like they
would do us the same courtesy."

"No probably not, but then that's what makes us better than them.
Besides, I thought that you'd have realised by now that things aren't
always so black and white," Wes replied a little snarkily.

"I do realise that, how can I not working here?  But Spike?  You
don't know him like I do.  Anyway it doesn't look as if this chip has
been causing him any problems, maybe he can't hunt but he's certainly
managing to feed.and obviously very well judging by the amount of
weight he's put on.  I saw him trying to hide his gut, pulling that
duster tight around him, but he didn't fool me.  And did you see how
rosy his cheeks were, to be that `glowing' he must have only just fed
recently."

"Rosy?  I thought he looked a little peaky actually," Wes admitted
offhandedly.

"I suppose you were taken in by his act were you?  Poor old Spike,
boo hoo, all harmless and tortured, well at least he would have been
until Angel got here.  He can fight demons you know, as in he could
easily attack Angel.  That was probably his plan."

"Well if it was, it wasn't a very well thought out plan was it?
Attacking Angel on his own ground and without the element of
surprise?"  Wes couldn't help it, Cordelia may well have been right
but something about Spike's state had touched him.  He actually felt
sorry for him and believed the vampire was genuinely upset and
probably did want to speak to Angel.

"He's not known for his plans Wes," Cordelia stated flatly.

"It's not as if Angel can't handle himself," Wes stated.  "We could
have at least given Spike the benefit of the doubt."

"I suppose.  Look I don't want to argue, but I wasn't willing to take
that chance.  We're only just getting back to normal after all of
this Darla business.  How do we know that Spike's not working for
Wolfram and Hart, that he wasn't their next move in the `bring forth
Angelus' scheme?"

"Maybe you're right," Wes conceded, this past month had been hell
with all of this Darla business.  Angel had been going steadily
insane and moving rapidly towards the darker side of his personality,
the final straw for them had been when he fired them, even if it was
only for one day, turned his back on his friends and looked about to
play right into Wolfram and Harts' hands.

 "I understand," Wes admitted, and he did.  Cordelia was only trying
to protect Angel, he didn't need a repeat of last month's activities.
and nor did they.  "Although if Darla couldn't bring out Angelus I
don't know how they'd have expected Spike to fair any better," Wes
joked.

"My money would have been on him in the first place, he's way more
persistent and annoying enough to try the patience of a saint," she
smiled back at him, glad that they seemed to have come to an
agreement.  "I think it's best if we don't mention this to Angel,
agreed?"

"Mention what to Angel?"  Angel asked entering the lobby, absolutely
drenched in some sort of slimy gore.

"The party that we were going to throw in celebration of us all being
one happy family again, but now you've gone and ruined the surprise.
Still, it would probably be better to just go out for a drink
together anyway, I mean, it is only the four of us and so it wouldn't
be much of a party.  So you want to do that?"  Cordelia covered
expertly without a moment of hesitation.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Angel answered completely thrown.  He hadn't
expected either of them to answer him.

"Killed it then?" Cordelia motioned to the slime incrusted sword in
Angel's hand.

"Huh?  Oh yeah, two Triesh demons.  Wes did you know that those
things practically spew slime when you stab them? It's gonna take me
ages to scrub all of this stuff off, and Gunn's got covered even
worse if you can believe that.  He'd the one who made the discovery
about the spewing," Angel confided with a smile.  "I dropped him off
at home already.  Anything much happen while I was out?"

"No, been quiet all night," Cordelia lied.

"Good.  Well I'm gonna go start scouring my skin.  You two go home,
get some rest.  Sorry, I didn't think that you'd still be here this
late."

"Well that's what tends to happen when you fight creatures of the
night, they do tend to come out late," Cordelia rolled her eyes.

Angel smiled back at both of them as he made his way up the stairs.
He decided that he'd have a shower and then phone Spike.  He hadn't
seen him in 5 weeks now and was missing him so badly that he swore he
could literally smell his scent lingering in the lobby.  Angel
certainly had a lot of explaining and apologising to do when he
caught up with him.

xxXxx

Angel tried Spike's cell for the sixteenth time and he still got the
same message, "The cell phone that you are trying to call is
currently switched off, please try again later."  The idea of giving
Spike a cell phone was so that they could get in touch with each
other whenever they wanted to.  Spike only switched it off if he was
out helping Buffy or in the same location as any of the Scoobies.
Neither Angel nor Spike wanted anyone to know that they were a couple
again.not that anyone had known that they were `together' before that
either.  The watcher's diaries had the fanged family sorted into nice
neat hetro-sexual couplings, Angel and Darla, Spike and Dru.the books
were only right in not pairing Darla with Spike, and failed to
mention Penn's involvement altogether.

Angel couldn't listen to that blasted recorded message again.  He
didn't know if Spike was out slaying or if perhaps he'd just switched
the phone off angry at Angel's treatment of him over the past month.
Angel couldn't blame Spike for being pissed at him, if that's what
was going on here, he deserved it.  He'd handled everything the wrong
way and now he intended to sort things out.

He hadn't seen Spike in way too long and decided to just drive over
and see him.  They'd talk, Angel would explain what had been
happening, he'd apologise for lying to Spike and for being an
arsehole.  Spike would realise that Angel was only trying to protect
him and hoping not to make an already hellish situation even worse.
They'd kiss, they'd cuddle, they'd have make-up sex and everything
would be good again.

xxXxx

Half an hour and `fuck speed limits' later Angel was sitting in
Spike's empty crypt and waiting for him to come home.  In his rush to
get to Sunnydale, he hadn't bothered to feed and was now hungry.  He
went to the fridge to help himself to blood, but it was empty.
Spike's fridge was never empty, Angel had made sure of that by paying
the local butcher for a months worth of blood at a time.  All Spike
had to do was go and collect it when he needed it.  "Shit," Angel
cursed, with everything that had been happening in L.A. Angel
realised that he hadn't paid for this months supply.  Still Spike had
money, Angel made sure of that too.unless, Angel thought, he's spent
it all on fags and drink to drown his sorrows.  "Some Sire I am,"
Angel scolded himself.  Angel mildly consoled himself that if the
worst came to the worst, Spike would swallow his pride and ask one of
the others for help.wouldn't he?

xxXxx

Two hours?  Where the hell was he?  Angel thought about going over to
Buffy's, but he could hardly just show up on the doorstep with, "Hi I
was just passing, by the way have you seen Spike?"

After a snoop around the area and still not spotting his Childe,
Angel reluctantly came to the decision that he'd have to leave for
L.A. now if he wanted to get back before sun-up.  He scribbled a note
for Spike, `Call me,' nothing more, nothing to give away who he was
to any Scooby who might discover the note first.  Spike would know
who'd left it.  He would recognise Angel's handwriting anywhere.
Angel stuck the note on the front of the fridge then emptied all of
the bills in his wallet and tucked them into a glass sitting on top
of the fridge where Spike would be sure to see it.

xxXxx

Angel entered the Hyperion almost as the sun was rising over L.A.  He
was surprised to see Wes already sitting at the counter as he usually
didn't appear until just before 11.00 followed by Gunn, and Cordelia
half an hour later.  Wes was just as shocked to see Angel up and
about.

"Wes?"

"Angel?  I, I thought you were upstairs."

"Couldn't sleep.  Tired now."  Angel answered shortly, he was
worrying about Spike.  "You?"

"Oh, couldn't sleep either.  Well I mean I did, but I just couldn't
wait to come in.  I think I'm really getting somewhere with your
prophecy at last, I just needed to check a few of the books."

"I appreciate it, really, but don't work so hard ok?"

"Actually I'm quite enjoying it, it hardly seems like work at all,"
Wes stated truthfully.  "Go on, you go and get some sleep," Wes
ordered Angel, "You look worn out."

"Yeah," agreed Angel with a sigh.  "I'll see you later.  Call me if
you need me."

"Will do."

xxXxx

"Ugh," Wes spat out tea that Cordelia had made him, then immediately
apologised for his little display as both Cordelia and the client
that she was interviewing on the couch, looked at him.

"What?" Cordelia asked.

"Sugar."

"I put sugar in," she defended.

"Yes, about half a bag full by the taste of it."

"Oops sorry," Cordelia apologised.

"That must have been mine," Mrs. Hawthorn suggested. "Nice cup of
sweet tea does wonders for nausea and dizzy spells, not that I'm
still suffering with nausea mind you."

"Ah," nodded Wes as if he understood.

"Thanks dear," Mrs. Hawthorn said to Cordy who had just spooned some
more sugar into her cup and stirred it for her.  Wes glanced over at
the pair of them and watched as Mrs. Hawthorn awkwardly pushed her
heavily pregnant self into a better position to drink her tea.

"So a Domovoi you say." Cordelia prompted Mrs. Hawthorn who then
proceeded to explain her case to Cordelia.  Wes went back to his
translating only lending half an ear to the conversation on the
couch, listening to Mrs. Hawthorn say how the secretive house demon,
the Domovoi, living in her home, had been welcome and helpful at
first, but was now starting to disrupt family life by being a
nuisance and throwing things at the family.

xxXxx

Wes managed to translate another section of the prophecy, a section
that made what he'd previously deciphered mean something very much
different than he'd first thought.  "Oh dear," he muttered warily.

"Problem Wes?" Cordelia asked from her place on the couch, he'd
obviously spoken a little louder than he thought.

"No, nothing," he assured her, "Just need to check something with
Angel."

"Yeah?" Angel asked, entering the lobby as if on cue and joining Wes
behind the counter.

"Well, it's, well it's rather of a personal nature," Wesley hushed,
turning himself and Angel around so that they had their backs to
those sitting on the couch.

"Uh-huh," Angel drew out the words warily.

"Could you tell me if.well I need to know, right there is no easy way
to say this.  I just wanted to know."

"Yeah?"

"Did you happen to sleep with Darla?"  Wes spoke quickly, then
stumbled over his next words, "I mean obviously you did in the past,
but I mean recently, since, well since Wolfram and Hart brought her
back.  And Angel, I need to know the truth, this is very important."

"No, I didn't.  Why?" Angel asked curiously.

"Well that's a relief," Wesley breathed.  "You see here," Wes pointed
to a section of the text, "where the prophecy says that you will
shanshu, that you will live?"

"Yes," Angel acknowledged, Wes had shown him that part before.

"Well the meaning seems to have changed with respect to this part
that I've translated this morning.  The prophecy no longer seems to
be saying that you will live, but that you will cause life."

"Huh?"

"Well in short you can create life, well just the once anyway.  The
text states that you will re-join with your one true love, the one
like you, and together you will create a new life, a baby.  It's
supposed to happen or have happened sometime around now.  I
discounted Buffy seeing as you haven't seen her in ages, plus she's
not like you, a vampire I mean.  That left Darla.  Angel if you had
slept with Darla you could have impregnated her.  Angel, you don't
seem particularly concerned.." Wes started taking in Angel's lack of
response to this new revelation.

"I don't mean to insult you, but well I think you may have translated
it wrong.  You're right that I've `been' with Buffy and Darla, but I
wouldn't consider either one of them to be my `true love' they were
just...SHIT!"

"Angel I think that's quite un-necessary," Wes called after Angel as
he practically flew up the stairs.

"Wes?" Cordelia asked curiously and beckoned him over towards the
couch.

"I apologise for that little display," Wes offered Mrs. Hawthorn as
he stood beside the couch.  He quickly shook his head at Cordelia to
intone, `nothing to worry about, I'll tell you when this client has
gone.'

"That's quite alright," Mrs. Hawthorn assured Wes.  She turned her
attention back to Cordelia, "So you suggest leaving offerings of
Kasha, tobacco and juniper then the Domovoi will behave himself,"
Mrs. Hawthorn confirmed Cordelia's advice as she tried to heave
herself off of the couch.

"Oh, allow me," Wes helped Mrs. Hawthorn to her feet.

"Thank you.  I'll be glad when this is all over," Mrs. Hawthorn
smiled tiredly, rubbing her swollen stomach, "Still I shouldn't
complain, at least I know what to expect this time and I've got
someone to help me.  I don't know what I'd do without my Bernard,
real darling he is and you'd never guess that he wasn't the birth
father of my daughter, took her on as his own he did."  Mrs. Hawthorn
smiled wistfully then continued to babble on to Cordelia and Wesley
as if they were interested in hearing her life story.

"Last time was a nightmare.  The father didn't want to know.  He left
me as soon as he found out I was pregnant.  I've never been so sacred
in my life, I'll tell you.  I didn't know how I was going to support
the baby or myself for that matter.  And I had no idea what to
expect.  There's the sickness, backache, hormones driving you crazy,
tiredness, weird cravings, swollen ankles, exhaustion and
depression.  You worry about each and every little thing you do just
in case you hurt the baby in someway.  Every ache and pain, and there
are a lot of them, has you worrying that something is wrong.  I was a
nervous wreck most of the time.

"Sometimes I just wanted to lie down and go to sleep for a week or
have someone cuddle me and tell me everything was going to be
alright, or rub my back and feet or kiss me and make me feel pretty
and not just like a lump.  I'm lucky to have that this time.  It
really makes all the difference.  It's much less frightening and
stressful.

"Oh and the doctors, how undignified is it going for check-ups?
Prodding and poking you about with their instruments like a piece of
meat and not a person.  Then they either talk to you like you're an
infant or go to the other extreme and talk over your head and end up
worrying you.

"Do you know I was this big when I was only four mouths last time,
still I guess the smaller you are to start with the quicker it shows,
I'm seven and a half months now.  I put on a lot of weight since my
last, so I was bigger to start off with this time.  I used to have a
fantastic body you know, could have been a model. Bernard tells me
I'm lovely just the way I am."

Wes and Cordelia continued to smile politely, wishing that Mrs.
Hawthorn would quit talking and just go.  She seemed to be coming to
an end as she reached into her purse and brought out a piece of gum,
unwrapped it, popped it into her mouth and sighed, "What I wouldn't
give for a smoke.  Well thanks for the tea.  Kasha, tobacco and
juniper?" She checked once more.

"That's right," Cordelia nodded the confirmation and Mrs. Hawthorn
turned on her heel, waddled towards the door, a hand pressed firmly
against the small of her back.

"I thought she was never going to.Wes?"  Cordelia questioned the man
beside her, eyes fixed on the still swinging doors, face a full shade
whiter, looking for the world as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Yes," Wes answered distantly, he wasn't really listening to her.
The thoughts in his head were running at lightening speed.  The sweet
tea, the gum, the flushed complexion, the swollen belly, the heaving
and hefting of a body carrying extra weight, the strange walk, the
hand on the back.

"Wes, I, I have a confession to make," Angel didn't even startle
Wesley as he suddenly spoke from right beside him.  "I, well, I."

"Slept with Spike," Wes filled in for him quietly, calmly, eyes still
starring at the main doors.

"How did you know?" Angel gasped utterly shocked.  Cordelia was
silent, mouth hanging wide, eyes wider as she starred at the pair.
For once she had no words.

"Angel," Wes turned to face him, not a trace of anger or disgust in
his eyes as Angel had expected to see.  "Spike's pregnant."

xxXxx

"Cordelia will you please stop crying and help me," Wes sniped as he
tried to manoeuvre Angel's full weight alone.  How was he supposed to
know that the news would cause Angel to faint?

"How could we send him away?" Cordelia sobbed.

*We* didn't, Wes wanted to say, but instead he comforted her, "we
weren't to know, as you said he could have been playing a trick on
us.  Oh he'll just have to stay here," Wes sighed giving up on Angel
and leaving him laid out on the floor, unable to pick him up without
Cordy's help.

"Hey guys," Gunn greeted as he came though the doors, then he took in
the scene before him.  Angel collapsed on the floor, Wes kneeling
beside him, Cordelia crying her eyes out on the couch.  "What
happened?"  Gunn dropped to his knees beside Angel, looking up
concernedly at Wes, waiting for an answer.

"He fainted," Wes stated flatly with a sigh as he rocked back to sit
on his own heels.

"Huh?" Gunn looked confused.

"We told him that Spike's pregnant and he just fainted.  I remember
what it was like, it happened to me.and we sent Spike away and now
he's all alone and he'll be scared and confused and he'll have pains
and think he's hurt the baby and he hasn't got a Bernard to help him,
to rub his feet or tell him he's pretty and not a lump and I thought
he was acting, but he wasn't and he's supposed to be soulless but he
must have felt something, he did look lost and hurt and he must love
the baby because" Cordelia babbled incoherently, Mrs. Hawthorn's
words obviously having touched her.  She couldn't seem to say the
next words as tears began to fill her eyes again, "because, because.
the gum!"  She wailed as if that explained everything.

Funnily enough that was the one little thing that made her see the
truth in this situation. Spike obviously wasn't as soulless as she
thought.  He must have cared about the baby's health and obviously
wanted it because he'd given up his smokes and switched to gum to
curb his cravings.

"R.i.g.h.t." Gunn drew out the word then turned to Wes, "Wanna
translate that for me and fill in the blanks like who is Spike?  Why
do we care that he's pregnant?  How did a man get pregnant anyway?
Who is Bernard?  What's with the gum?  And what has any of this got
to do with her crying and him fainting?  Which by the way.Angel man,
wake up!"  Gunn cracked Angel across the face and roused the fallen
vampire.

"William?" Angel asked woozily.

"No," Wes stated flatly, then rubbed his forehead trying to stave of
the oncoming headache he could feel starting to bloom, "Right I think
we all need to sit down and have a talk."

xxXxx

Gunn mostly listened as the other three talked.

Wes explained what had happened the previous night.

Angel wanted to know how Spike had seemed, was he alright?  Between
the pair of them Cordy and Wes detailed hiss behaviour and mood.
Angel was angry that they'd sent him away and angry that they'd
decided not to tell him about the visit.  Cordelia saved Wes, taking
the blame upon herself and admitting that she'd been the one to throw
Spike out while Wes had been willing to give him a chance.  She'd
convinced him that Spike was acting.  At this point Angel had become
furious, they could tell how mad he was by all of the swearing.
Angel didn't swear, and until now he'd never growled at them either.
It was obvious to him just from the way that had described his boy's
behaviour that he wasn't acting.

 "You knew he couldn't hurt you," Angel had accused Cordy.  "You
could have just kept him here till I came home.  You know how he's
changed.  He's been helping Buffy for fuck sake."  Changed he'd said,
Spike hadn't changed at all, at least not for him.  To Angel, Spike
was always loving and soulful.  The Scoobies had just seen a side to
Spike that they didn't know existed before and assumed that he'd
changed.

 "And Darla, you said I was with Darla of all people.fuck you would
have hurt him less if you'd staked him.slowly!"

"I didn't know!" Cordelia defended herself also saying that yes she
knew that he'd been chipped, but that she didn't know he'd been
helping Buffy and that perhaps if Angel had trusted them enough to
mention that he and Spike were and item, instead of lying to them and
sneaking around behind their backs, that none of this would have
happened.

Angel countered saying that yes, he could see how well that would
have gone down and sniped at her, "What was I supposed to say?  By
the way guys, I'm back with Spike.  Lost him as Angelus, lost the
love of my life and lost my will to carry on. I know, I know, I was
saved.in a sense, but I never recovered, not inside, not really.  But
hey I found him again, found myself, gained a reason for living, a
reason for fighting.

"I know you hate him, and I know he was playing for the `wrong' side,
killing indiscriminately, but what was he supposed to do?  That's his
nature.  It was mine too.once.  I changed why can't he huh?  He has
but maybe it's only me that can see it.  Since we've been back
together he's changed his targets, kills only those who `deserve' it,
just to please me, because he loves me *that* much and knows it would
hurt me if he did otherwise.  Not that I asked him to change.  Not
that I wouldn't love him either way, but he *wants* to do that for
me, he chose to play it that way.

"Soulless, that's what you all think, that's what you all say.  What
is a soul anyway?  He's not soulless, he's not heartless, he feels,
he loves and he cares.  It may not seem like it, he hides it well, no
not hides it, displaces it, with his smart mouth and larger than life
actions, but if you look deep enough, go beneath that surface you can
see him for who he really is.

"Anyway, moving on and newsflash, my boy gets chipped and he can't
hurt humans.  Good or bad.  He's not stupid, he knows he can't defend
himself so he teams up with the Slayer for protection and does what
he can to help.  It's true he was probably only out for himself when
he first went to them, but somewhere along the way he started to care
for them.

"Oh sure he gripes, acts like he doesn't really care, hits them with
cutting remarks, but think about it, really think about it, he's
*always* there when they need him, he doesn't let any of them get
hurt.  He takes chances with his own life, but not with theirs.
They've realised that although he was serious before, now what he
does is all talk.  They ignore his words and don't take them to
heart.  Hell they even snipe back at him now.

"They appreciate him in their own way, but he's not looking for
praise, doesn't want to be seen as the hero type.it would damage his
image as the big bad.but he is a hero albeit a reluctant one, and
they do trust him, they are his friends.sort of.

"This "I'm the big bad, I'm evil" stuff, have you ever thought why he
feels the need to keep reminding everyone?  He wants you to think of
him that way.  If he was all he says he is would he need to keep
pointing out the fact?  Have you ever heard Angelus say such things?
No, he doesn't need to, you can see he *is* those things, you don't
need to be told.

"Don't get me wrong, Spike is dangerous, he is deadly, but he's smart
and he's got control over his demon.  I know who Spike is underneath
that hard shell he wears.he's *my* William and I love him." Angel
finished quietly, he couldn't really remember what point he'd been
trying to make and he'd lost his direction somewhere back there.  He
looked confusedly at Cordelia, sure that he'd just let something
important slip and trashed Spike's big bad image at the same time.
She just starred at him.

"Yes," she said calmly, "You could have said something just like
that."

Angel looked at her dumbfounded.

"Why the shocked look Angel?  You always underestimate us.  We would
have listened.  We might not like him or have agreed with your
choices, but if he meant that much to you we would have managed.  We
might not trust him, but we trust you.  You never gave us the
chance." Cordelia finished, hurt evident in her voice.

"Yes, Angel.  Without knowing any of this Cordelia believed that she
was doing the right thing, she thought that she was protecting you,
especially given the recent Darla situation." Wes supported her.

"I know," Angel sighed.  "I'm sorry," he added looking ashamed with
himself.

"I'm sorry too," Cordelia hugged him.

"So, how come you didn't know about the baby then?" Gunn asked
Angel, "I mean if you're seeing him."

"That's the thing, I haven't seen him for the last five weeks.  It
his turn to come here but he said that he didn't feel up to driving
so I was going to go to him instead, besides, he said that Buffy
needed him and he didn't want to let her down.  I was all set to go,
then *she* turned up, so I cancelled.  He hadn't been feeling too
good a few of the times we met up before," Angel sighed, clearly
seeing the reason for his sickness now.

"I was really worried about him, he said he'd even thrown up a few
times and well, that's pretty much unheard of for a vampire.  He told
me not to worry though, that it was probably all the human food
disagreeing with him.  I guess he didn't know he was pregnant then or
he'd have told me," Angel shrugged.

"The last few times I spoke to him, he said that he had something to
tell me, but not over the phone, he wanted to see me face to face.  I
should have just gone to see him then.  I wanted to, but, well I
didn't want him to know about Darla or her about him.and they would
have known.  They really don't get on," Angel didn't elaborate, that
was private between them.

"If he knew she was here he'd have come running and made an already
hellish situation into one of apocalyptic proportions.  Wolfram and
Hart would have got me right where they wanted, and I couldn't risk
that happening.  Every time he phoned I kept making excuses not to
see him.  I forgot to ask him how he was feeling.  I forgot to pay
the butcher for his blood.  I don't know if he's got any money on him
now.  He must have thought that I didn't care about him, that I'd
abandoned him and now that he knows about her."again, Angel didn't
elaborate.

"I tried to phone him last night but his cell was switched off.  I
even drove out to Sunnydale, but obviously he wasn't there.  I tried
to phone him upstairs just now, but it's still off.  I haven't had
the chance to explain anything to him yet.  I know she's been gone
like three days now but I wanted to be sure, you know?  Make sure
that it was safe for him to come over again. I didn't want him hurt.
I hate to think what's going on in his head.  I only wanted to
protect him," Angel sounded strained, as if trying to plead his case
and beg forgiveness.  "I don't know what to do," Angel sighed,
holding his head in his hands.

"I'd always thought that the four of you got on reasonably well and
lived together," Wes commented.

"Five of us," Angel corrected looking back up, "Penn stayed with us a
while too.  Darla was jealous of William from the moment I, I mean
Angelus turned him, and yes I know the diaries say that Dru sired
him," Angel cut in before Wes could query him, "and that's also what
he told everyone after I got my soul back, but I'm his Sire.  I took
his life, I fed him my blood.  He's mine."

"Darla, she wasn't jealous of Drusilla?" Wes questioned.

"That was different.  It sounds heartless now but Dru, and Penn too
for that matter, were just.there.  I sired them because they
interested me and to increase the family numbers.  They served as.
amusements.  Don't get me wrong, not that I didn't love them as my
Childer...I just didn't *love* them, not like I did William.  He was
different, special, not just a toy to be used.  Darla hated the
feelings that I had for him, ones that I didn't have for her and she
didn't like all of the attention that I gave him and.well things just
didn't work out."

Angel failed to mention the full extent of how bad things were.  How
morning after morning he would crawl into William's bed, bleeding and
broken at Darla's hands.  She wanted William dead, but only his maker
could do that.or that was the way it was supposed to be.  Angelus
refused to murder his Childe and suffered heavily for it.

Darla could have gone against the Order's rules and dusted William
herself, but then where would that have left her?  Even if she was
willing to commit the act she wouldn't have stood a chance.  Angelus
was fiercely protective of his boy, and although he accepted her
punishments, he would have turned on her and defended William to the
death if she so much as lifted a finger to him.  William himself
could have taken Darla.  She might have been older, with him barley
more than a fledge, but he was stronger than her.  Only his place in
their hierarchal order, and Angelus' wishes kept Darla safe from him.

Spike never understood why Angelus, stronger and infinitely more
powerful than Darla, allowed himself to be beaten.  Angelus had
chosen not to raise Penn, Drusilla or William in the same way that
he'd been raised.  Darla however had insisted on following the old
ways when she created Angelus, and those ways never bore well for
unruly or disobedient Childer.  But this was ridiculous, to be
battered and torn for loving his Childe?  William also never
understood how he could be so important that Angelus continued to
return to him time and time again even though the threat of
punishment dangled over his head every second that they were together.

"Darla asked a question one time, hypothetical she'd said but I knew
she meant it.  She wanted to know what would happen if she gave me an
ultimatum to leave William or leave her, and therefore the Order of
Aurelius, which would I choose?  I didn't say anything, just kissed
her and tried to let that be my answer.  She heard the lie as if I
had spoken it loud and clear.  I chose him.

"Darla said nothing.  I should have been suspicious when she calmly
accepted that I would choose Will over her.  I was a fool.  With her
lack of response I thought that she'd realised that I wouldn't leave
him even if it meant losing my place in such a powerful family.  I
thought she'd finally accepted that I couldn't be hers in the way
that she wanted anymore.  I was wrong.

"That night Darla told me that she had a present for me.  It felt
wrong as she blindfolded me, and then as she led me to find my
surprise, but I said nothing, did nothing.  I tired to ignore the un-
easy feeling and chose to play along with her game, flirting with her
so as not to seem suspicious myself, but keeping my wits about me.or
so I thought.  When she removed my blindfold and presented me with a
girl to eat, I thought that maybe I'd been wrong, perhaps she was
trying to make up for the way things had been.  I should have
listened to my instincts.  That night I dined on gypsy blood."

"*The* gypsy," Cordelia gasped, "the one whose family gave you a
soul."

Angel nodded, "Darla knew what she was doing, knew that the girl's
family would take their revenge.  I hadn't chosen her and now she
wanted rid of me.  She knew not to feed, just watched me.  I think
she hoped that they'd kill me.  She certainly didn't expect the
soul.  That wasn't in her plan.  I guess she didn't want to dirty her
hands with my death and if the gypsies had killed me she could feign
ignorance, put it down to my poor choice of victim and conceal the
murder of her own Childe.  I lost my Sire that night, she'd shown me
that she wanted me dead and so I considered her dead to me too,
that's how I was able to dust her in Sunnydale."

"Angel," Cordelia soothed, feeling for him.

"Darla went out and left me alone.  I stayed.  I planned to take
William and leave as soon as he came home, but she got back before he
did.  I could tell that she was shocked to see me alive.  She knew
something was wrong, something had changed but she didn't know what.
She covered quickly by pretending to be worried about me, but I think
she was scared of me, scared of what I'd do to her now.

"She was disgusted with the soul.  I was disgusted with myself.
Whatever it was she'd hoped for, she couldn't handle what she'd got.
She threw me out, even made to stake me but.."  Angel sighed and
trailed off.

"I didn't go far.  I stayed where I could see the house, waiting for
William to come home.  I still planned to take him and run.  I saw
Darla go out.  I waited past sun-up and into the next night, hiding
where I was out of reach of the suns rays, but they never came home.
I know now that Darla had gone out to find my Childer, had taken them
to the gypsy camp with her and tried to get the curse lifted.  She
didn't tell them about the soul, or why they were being taken to the
camp, they just followed her obeying her in my absence." Angel
laughed humourlessly, "I guess she decided that things weren't so bad
before and wanted to put things back the way they were.

"I picked up their trail, tracking them to China.  I knew where they
were staying but I didn't want to go there, instead I searched all
over for Will.  When I couldn't find him I had no choice but to go to
their house.  If he came home first I'd take him, but if it was Darla
I'd pretend that I wanted to try again, be a part of the family until
I found Will.  She was home first and I acted my part well.

"She'd told my Childer that I had business in Romania, that I'd
ordered them to move on and I'd meet up with them in China.  Thinking
they were acting on my orders, they'd followed her easily.  I know
why she took them, one reason only, protection for herself.

"Because of what she'd said, neither Will nor Dru were surprised to
see me.  That was the night that my boy killed his first Slayer.  I
was so proud of him as he told me, but also anxious waiting for my
chance to escape with him, that I didn't say much.  I didn't want to
make Darla suspicious.

"It backfired, I guess my lack of response to Spike told Darla that
something was up.  She tested me later that night, brought a baby
into the house to see if I'd kill it.  I didn't, couldn't.  Instead I
grabbed it and ran.  When I sneaked back later, still planning to
take Will, I found yet another empty house.  They'd moved on again
and this time Darla made sure they couldn't be found.

"At first I didn't know what Darla had told them about me.  I
couldn't understand why Will hadn't come looking for me?  Maybe he
had but I couldn't find me, I was certainly couldn't find him.  I
thought perhaps she'd told them about the soul, although I was sure
that Will wouldn't have cared.  Then again, maybe the soul did
matter.  Maybe he had left me.  I then thought that maybe she'd done
something to him, but I never felt his death.  Maybe she'd got him
imprisoned.I didn't know, so many different scenarios, so many
maybes, played through my head tormenting me.

"I know now though.  Darla told him, told both of them that she'd
given me an ultimatum and that I'd chosen her over them.  I'd
abandoned them because I couldn't bear to look at them any longer.
Supposedly I was on my way to the Master's lair and would meet her
there.  William should have known better, Dru should have seen it in
the stars, but I guess my behaviour that night sealed my fate.  I
don't know why, but they believed her.  She left them and actually
did return to the Master.

"I didn't want too go on anymore, but the hope that I might find him
one day kept me from greeting the sun.  I wanted to die without him,
but I forced myself to live and suffer, I believed I deserved it.  I
let myself go, the mighty Angelus had fallen.  I fed off of rats and
cared little for anything.  Whistler found me, took me to Sunnydale
and gave me a purpose.  I could help the Slayer and repent against my
sins he'd said, but I think he knew what or who I'd really find
there."

"Spike?  That's when you met up again, told each other the truth and
got back together," Gunn guessed correctly.  Angel's nod of agreement
confirmed it.

"But you fought with each other, and more than once," Cordelia said.

"I admit things weren't great at the beginning, but we didn't fight
that much.  It probably just seems like that because you happened to
be around at the times we did.  You have to remember we'd been
separated for a long time.  Spike got used to being on his own, doing
things his way.  He had become his own man and no longer my boy.  Our
roles had changed and we needed to discover who we were now, who we
would be together.  At the very beginning we had lots of issues to
work through too.  He thought I'd abandoned him, I didn't know what I
thought.  Perhaps that he'd left me?  Although we know the truth now,
back then we didn't.  There was a lot of hurt, a lot of anger and
very little talking.  Things ultimately changed for the better when I
came back from Hell.  We both realised that we could have been lost
to each other forever that time, there was no more time for listening
to our demons, fighting and trying to mark boundaries or effect
dominance.  Our human sides won through.

"Buffy thinks she helped me, but in truth it was William.  He found
me, shivering on the floor, spat out of Hell, broken.  He helped me
get back to who I was.  He fixed me, helped me find myself again.  We
knew who we were together then, what our roles were.  We haven't
fought since."

"One word Angel.  Pokers!" Cordelia stated flatly, the quirk of her
eyebrow intoning that he was lying.

"Oh that," Angel laughed a little, "Don't worry, he got told off for
that."

"Told off?" Cordelia asked incredulously.

"He's my Childe," Angel stated as if that explained everything.  When
he saw that Cordy didn't understand, he carried on.  "That wasn't
fighting.  He's my Childe, that's what he's supposed to do.  Don't
all kids wind up their parents?  He's just playing up to me as his
Sire.  It wasn't anything serious.  He knows not to take it too far."

"But."

"But what?  I complained?  I was hurt?  If I'd have acted any other
way you have thought something was wrong.  He's a demon, I'm a
demon.  It's what we do."

"You're fucked up," Cordelia stated flatly.

"No, I'm a vampire," Angel corrected, "and I shouldn't try to pretend
to myself that I'm not."

"So he can do whatever he wants and you'll forgive him?"

"I love him.and while it might look like we're fighting to you, we're
not.  He does things to see how far he can push me, but he knows his
boundaries, he knows when to stop."

Gunn swore he heard Angel mumble, "'sides, make up-sex," but he
couldn't be sure.

"But when I need him, he's there, without fail.  He never lets me
down.  I do the same for him, at least until this I did," Angel
finished sadly.

"The thing I don't understand," Wes said, "is if he's really your
true love, then how come you haven't lost your soul to him?"

"Because I never forget who I am with him.what I am, what I've done.
It's not perfect happiness that will unleash Angelus, but perfect
oblivion, that point where I believe I'm someone, something that I'm
not."

Angel sighed heavily, "What am I going to do?"

"Well I say you stop sitting here brooding and go look for him," Gunn
chipped in, "We'll help you."

"I think I know where I'll find him," Angel admitted, "but the sun's
up, could one of you maybe drive me there please?  I want to go now."

xxXxx

"One black Desoto, windows painted out, check."  Gunn told the tarp
currently lying across the backseat of Angel's car as he pulled into
the motel and parked.  "It's shady enough here for you to jump out,"
Gunn assured the tarp again.  "Sure you don't want me to wait for
you?"

"Thanks, but no.  I'll be fine," Angel answered, peeling back the
tarp a little to check if there really was enough shade.  "I'll see
you later.  Drive carefully."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of your car," Gunn promised, "You take
care of your kid."

"Childe," Angel corrected

"Yeah and that too," Gunn replied still misunderstanding.

Angel nodded anyway, opened the car door and was gone.

xxXxx

Stopping outside of the door to the room that they usually shared,
Angel could sense Spike asleep inside.  Silently Angel unlocked the
door and let himself in, seeing the pair here together so often, the
motel attendant hadn't thought twice about giving Angel a key.

Angel draped his coat over the back of one armchair on top of Spike's
then walked over to stand beside the bed.

Spike was sound asleep, the sheets pulled up to cover all but his
head, breathing in that soft baby like way that Angel loved.  Angel
felt the loss at not having seen Spike for so long, all he wanted to
do was slide in beside him, smother him with hugs and kisses and tell
him how sorry he was and make everything alright.  He knew that
wouldn't work.

Angel decided that he should let Spike sleep.  He looked so peaceful
and probably needed the rest.  Angel made to pull up a chair but then
stopped when he caught sight of Spike's stuff spread out across the
dresser.  If he had any doubts about this pregnancy, they had just
been erased.  Angel walked over to the dresser and picked up one of
the many bottles piled there.  He read the label, `Folic acid - helps
reduce the risk of neural tube defects'.   He read
another, `Essential vitamins for pregnancy', another, `Herbal nausea
remedy', then he picked up a squeezy tube, `Vitamin E gel - helps
prevent stretch marks'.

Beside the various containers were a couple of packs of energy
sweets, plenty of packs of gum, and one lone cigarette.  Angel picked
it up and found that it was plastic.  He'd seen these before in
the `quit smoking' section of the chemist, right next to the hair
care products.

There was also a well thumbed manual entitled `Pregnancy, Birth and
Parenthood', bookmarked in various places and currently laying open
on a page entitled `going it alone.'  Angel's heart broke for Spike.
No way was he going to have to go through anything alone.  Angel
would help him with the baby.  The BABY?  The reality of the
situation suddenly hit Angel with such a force that it nearly floored
him.

Angel had listened when Wesley said that Spike was pregnant, accepted
that Spike's sickness had been caused by it, he'd even just handled
all of Spike's baby purchases.but strange as it seemed, that had all
been just words and products.  Somehow his brain had only just
processed the fact that this was more than words, this was real and
Spike was carrying a baby, his baby, their baby.  A baby that Spike
obviously cared about and wanted judging by the items on the dresser.

Angel suddenly had the overwhelming need to peel back the covers and
look at Spike's body.  He desperately needed to see the swollen belly
that Cordelia said Spike was sporting.  He wanted to touch and look
at that sacred place where Spike was keeping their baby safe.  Angel
knelt beside the bed and hesitantly took hold of the corner of the
bed sheet.  He gently began to draw the cover back then yelped when
his wrist was suddenly seized in a vice tight grip.

"It's me Will," Angel blurted.

"I know it's you," Spike growled and tightened his grip even more.

"Will we need to talk, and oww you're hurting my wrist."

"No we don't, and good."

"We do.fuck quit it will you I'm not joking that really hurts.  I
know what you must be thinking but I swear I'm not with Darla.  She
was here in L.A. and I should have told you but I didn't.  I was
wrong not to tell you, I know that.  I fucked up and I'm sorry ok?
Really sorry.  I love you.  Please just let me explain."

"Talk," Spike ground out.  He let go of Angel's wrist, who instantly
rubbed the assaulted joint.

"Right, from the beginning I guess.  Wolfram and Hart's latest plan
to bring out Angelus involved raising Darla from the dead.and yes I
really did dust her in Sunnydale before you ask.  I never lied to you
about that.  It started off with me having these dreams about her.
In them she was all over me, trying to use my body.  Oh Christ Will,
it was awful.  I don't know how she did it, but I kept seeing your
face.  I just kept grinning stupidly letting her do what she wanted.
My brain though I was with you.  Then your face would vanish and it
would be her again and I'd feel sick, ashamed and so very, very
guilty.  I felt weak, scarred and totally useless for not being able
to control my own dreams.  They never progressed very far, I guess
maybe that would have broken the illusion and enabled me to fight
back.  I felt so violated, so.dirty.  I wanted, no, needed to see you
so badly, to have you take me body and make me feel clean again   I
scrubbed my body raw trying to wipe away her touch.

"I knew rationally that the dreams couldn't hurt me, but that didn't
make them any less disturbing.  I wanted to tell you about them, but
I thought you'd hate me and be angry at me for allowing her to touch
me.  I just hoped that you'd understand that I really, honestly had
no control over it.  I was going to tell you when I saw you later
that week, but then I never made it to you.  The day that I was going
to drive down, I thought I saw her and to cut a long story short, she
turned out to be real.

Wolfram and Hart wanted Angelus and they thought that Darla would be
the one to deliver him into their hands.  They'd tapped into my
dreams, made me think I was going crazy by catching glimpses of her
all over the place, until finally she confronted me.  She was human,"
Angel closed his eyes and sighed before continuing.  "I couldn't kill
her.  If she'd been a vampire I would have dusted her in an instant,
but human..she asked me to turn her back.  I refused.

"I couldn't risk her finding out about us, just think what she could
have done with that information.  Actually, she almost did drop you
in it.  I heard that she was angry about not being able to raise
Angelus, and in a rage screamed that they `should have got my fucking
Childe' to do it.  I guess Wolfram and Hart believe the diaries like
everyone else.  They listened but got hold of the wrong Childe, they
brought Dru here.  She sired Darla.  They went on a rampage, and I
admit, I left them to it while it suited my purposes.  They took some
lawyers out of the game.  Then, well then I set them on fire.
literally.  I didn't feel either of them pass, but I guess they got
the message not to fuck with me anymore.  I haven't seen them since.
Darla can burn in hell for all I care, but Dru."  Angel shrugged and
sighed.  "She went against me.  I did what I had to do," he defended
sadly.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Spike asked calmly, he believed what
Angel had told him.

"And what would you have done?"  Angel asked, although he knew full
well what Spike would have done.

"I'd have come and staked the bitch.  You know I could have taken her
even back then."

"The *human* bitch?"

"Oh.  Well, I could have.."

"Could have what?  Been killed by Darla who still hates you by the
way?  Been captured by Wolfram and Hart?  Used as a tool against me?
What better way to bring out Angelus than to hurt you, to threaten
your life.or worse?  If they dusted you they'd get Angelus alright, a
grieving crazed and `I'm dragging the world into Hell' version.  Even
if they'd kept you alive they'd have still got Angelus, and whilst
you'd have been safe with him, no one else would have stood a
chance.  Whichever way things played out you'd have been used to get
to me.  I couldn't risk you getting hurt.  I couldn't risk losing
you."

"You wanted me out of the way to protect me." Spike sighed.  He
understood.  Angel did want him.  The excuses and the lack of phone
calls were due to Angel's screwed up way of dealing with the Darla
situation, nothing more.

"Yes.  I really am sorry you know.  I handled it all wrong and."

"Come here you big ninny," Spike rolled closer to the still kneeling
Angel and kissed him.

"And I didn't mean to forget to pay the butcher.  I can prove it, I
left some money in your crypt for you," Angel felt the need to
continue explaining.

"Shut up Angel, you're forgiven."  Easy as that.  Spike smiled at him
and kissed him again.  When he pulled away he'd lost his smile.  He
looked the picture of seriousness, tainted with nervousness and
seemed to be summoning up the courage to tell Angel something.

"I know about the baby," Angel said softly, reaching out to stroke
Spike's cheek, guessing the reason for Spike's expression and saving
him the worry.

Spike looked shocked, "How?"

"Well all of that stuff on the dresser kind of gave it away," Angel
smiled.

"It's yours," Spike whispered. "There's been no one but you.  I
promise."

"I know, I know," Angel soothed.

There had been others of course, but Angel knew what Spike meant.
Neither had been with another man since Penn, and that had been
purely about sex, as was every partner other than each other.  Penn
hadn't been allowed to top either one of them, and no woman was
allowed to `interfere' *there*.  This was something special that
happened between the pair of them, something to be shared with no one
but each other, a twisted kind of monogamy, but a kind that showed
that they were wholly each others alone.  For them to be together in
a way that metaphorically and mentally left them vulnerable and open
in a way that neither wanted to be with any other.  They loved,
trusted and felt safe enough with each other to be who they really
were, to relinquish facades and power, yet have nothing taken away,
remaining intact, unbroken; whole.  They took what they wanted from
all, but only even gave to each other.  They were equals, submissive
to none other.

Darla herself had never bested Angel, and knew that to even try would
have been to lose him.  He wouldn't have let her.  Although he let
her punish him (let being the operative word) he was really the one
who held control, and she knew it.  He would do as he was ordered by
her, but only if it suited him to.  If he didn't want to do something
he would rather leave the order than obey her.  He always did what he
wanted; topping from the bottom but allowing her the illusion of
being the all powerful Sire.

There had been other women too of course.  They had both been with
Dru, but then being family that was expected and accepted. When she
left Spike had been with Harmony, and before that Angel had been with
Buffy, but then what vampire could resist having a crack at a
Slayer?  Shame he let it go to his head and forgot who he really was.

"I trust you, and besides there's a prophecy about this.  It says
that I will create a child with my true love."

"No it didn't," Spike dismissed him with the barest hint of a laugh.

"Did too," Angel grinned.

"Really?"

"Uh-huh."

"I'm the love of your life?" Spike grinned too.

"You know you are." Angel's grin became even goofier.

Spike's smile slowly faded, "So um, about the baby then.you um."
Spike couldn't bring voice what he wanted to say.

"Our baby," Angel emphasised, catching Spike's chin and making sure
to secure eye contact.  He knew that Spike was worried about what his
reaction to the baby would be, whether or not he was happy, whether
or not he wanted it.

"You want us?"  Spike asked nervously, he wasn't sure if Angel was
saying what he wanted him to be saying.

"Oh Will, of course I want you, both of you.  I love you.and our
baby.  You will not be `going it alone'," Angel remembered the baby
book.  "Just you try keeping me away.  I will be there for you, both
of you.  I promise."

"You're not just saying it because you think you have to?" Spike
couldn't help it with the nervousness.

"No I'm not just saying it.  Will, you couldn't have made me any
happier.  I want you.  I want this baby, our baby."  Spike could
almost taste the sincerity pouring off of Angel.

"Can I?" Angel asked shyly, indicating to Spike's still covered
abdomen.

Spike simply nodded and moved his arm out of the way leaving it to
Angel to uncover his body.

Angel was scared and excited all at once as he slowly peeled back the
cover.

"Wow," he gasped as he saw Spike's slight bump.  He was showing more
than Angel was expecting.  "Can I touch?"

Spike laughed, "of course you can."

Angel ran his hands so gently across the bump that was his baby,
stroking so delicately as if he was almost afraid to touch Spike and
cause harm to him or their child.

Spike was a little concerned when Angel looked up at him, tears
filling his eyes.  "What's wrong love?"

Angel could barely speak his voice was so choked with
emotion, "Nothing, I'm just so happy.  Our baby."  Angel tried to
smile but it came out more a grimace as his face contorted to allow
his tears to flow freely, "Love you."  Then Spike was crying too and
reaching for Angel to come up towards him.  Angel obliged, awkwardly
toeing off his shoes and crawling into bed beside Spike and taking
him into his arms.

Angel claimed Spike's mouth in a passionate and possessive way,
slipping his tongue into that cool depth that he'd been waiting to
taste for weeks now.  "I missed you," he gasped, breaking the kiss.

"Missed you more," Spike recaptured the kiss, diving back in
desperately and pulling Angel tighter against him.

"We'll never be apart again," Angel vowed, pulling back fractionally
from Spike's mouth, but continuing to shower kisses along his
lips.  "We'll be a real family," he promised.  "Come and live with
me?"

"Yes," Spike breathed into Angel's mouth deepening the kiss once
more.  Whether Angel had accepted him and the baby or not and whether
Buffy needed him or not, as soon as Spike had found out that he was
pregnant he'd decided then and there that he wanted the baby and
wouldn't put it in any danger by continuing to fight.  Besides Buffy
was a big girl now, she could take care of herself and had done so
before Spike had fought beside her.

Angel ran his hands down the length of Spike's back, down one buttock
and pulled Spike's form flush against his own.  Spike groaned causing
Angel to pull away from him and literally jump out of the
bed.  "Shit.  Will I'm sorry.  Did I hurt you?  Have I hurt the
baby?  Fuck!  What did I do?"  Angel rapidly fired questions at Spike
in a total panic.

Spike wanted to laugh, but seeing how anxious and scared Angel was he
managed to restrain himself.  "Come here love," Spike soothed and
patted the bed wanting Angel to sit back down, and hesitantly he did
so.

"What did I do?" Angel asked sounding much like a frightened little
boy.

"Nothing," Spike hushed, "Well nothing to hurt me.or the baby," he
added.  "I haven't seen you in ages and."  Spike nodded down his
body, Angel's eyes followed in the same direction and came to rest on
the sight of Spike's cock, standing to full attention and oozing pre-
cum.

Angel flicked his gaze back to Spike's face and Spike grinned
lecherously at him and waggled his eyebrow, "as I said, I missed you."

"I didn't hurt you," Angel repeated relief flooding his face.  He
allowed a slow smile to spread across his face. "You scare the shit
out of me and it turns out that you're just horny?"

"Uh-huh," Spike grinned mischievously.  "So, you gonna sort me out
then?"

"I think that can be arranged," Angel smiled and leaned down to kiss
Spike once more.

"Less clothes, more naked," Spike ordered lazily as he opened his
mouth wider to deepen the kiss, pulling Angel back into the bed with
him properly.

A bit of wriggling about and a lot of tugging at clothes had Angel as
naked as Spike, and entwined with him in mere moments.

Five weeks of not seeing, not touching and not tasting each other was
too much for the pair.  Their hands were all over each other,
grasping and pulling at every available inch of skin in order to get
as close as possible.

"Please," Spike begged.  "Need you."

Angel almost moved to lie above Spike, then changed his mind and made
to roll Spike above him, again he stopped.  Spike wasn't all that
large yet but Angel was worried about crushing him, or doing anything
that might make him even slightly uncomfortable.

"Roll over," Angel whispered, continuing to kiss and caress Spike as
he positioned him how he wanted him.

Spike lay on his side facing away from Angel, neck cranked awkwardly
looking backwards over his shoulder not willing to give up kissing
his Sire.  Angel pulled up tight against his lover, raising Spike's
front leg so that he'd be able to slip inside him that way.  Angel
took hold of Spike's cock in a loose fist and began slow but strong
rhythm, just the way his boy liked.  Base to tip, pulling his
foreskin taught before moving his hand back down again and allowing
the head of Spike's cock to `pop' through.  Spike groaned.

Angel didn't pull away this time, continuing what he was
doing, "Alright?" he checked softly.

"Yeah," Spike breathed back, then suddenly ground out, "Oh fuck
Angel, wait, wait," then he gasped and changed his mind "Shit no
don't stop.  Fuck!  Faster! Gonna.Harder! Fuck, yeah like that.
Gonna come already."

Spike cried out, his whole body going rigid as spurt after spurt of
creamy cum covered Angel's hand.  Angel couldn't help himself. He
continued to work his Childe, drawing out his pleasure, as he
frantically rocked his hips against Spike.  His cock nestled
perfectly between his lover's buttocks ensured that his whole shaft
was massaged whilst his foreskin was dragged deliciously back and
forth over the tip.  In seconds, Angel was coming too, moaning as he
spilled over Spike's back.

Spent, Spike's body went limp and he practically melted back into
Angel.  "Sorry," he whispered then let out a breathy giggle, "five
weeks is a hell of a long time."

"Too long," Angel agreed.  "Hey do you think we just broke some
record or something?"

"Could be," Spike mumbled, snuggling back against Angel ignoring the
wet stickiness across the base of his spine.

"Spike!"

"You made it, you can lay in it," a tired whisper.

"Very romantic," Angel sighed spooning up tighter behind Spike and
kissing the back of his neck and rubbing his face into his hair.  He
couldn't really care less about being covered in cum.  "I love you,"
Angel whispered against Spike's neck, sliding his hand to rest
protectively and possessively over their baby.

Spike's hand slid down to cover Angel's, "love.you," he barely
breathed, too tired to speak.  So very tired.

"Sleep," Angel kissed him again, and when Spike started breathing he
knew that he'd done so.  Angel was content to just lie holding his
Childe in his arms.

~Part: 2~

Angel hadn't felt tired, but he must have fallen asleep because when
he next opened his eyes, he could tell that it was dark outside.

"Will?"

"Hmm?"

"Will, wake up, it's after dark."

"Still tired. Sod off."

"No.  Come on, wake up.  You can sleep at home."

"Fuck. Off."

"Five more minutes," Angel stated, kissed Spike, got out of bed and
set about getting dressed.

xxXxx

"Leave those ones out," Spike spoke startling Angel, "need to take
one of those now," he said about the vitamins that Angel was just
about to pack.

Angel turned to see Spike sitting on the bed watching him, legs
dangling over the side.  "Here," he handed him the container then
went back to packing.

Spike took out a tablet and threw the container back to Angel, who
caught it without even turning around, and slipped it into Spike's
bag with the others.

"Is that everythin."

"Angel?"  Spike questioned when Angel froze, starring at him, a look
of total awe fixed upon his face.  "You ok?"

"Sorry, it's just.  Wow," Angel couldn't find a more appropriate word
having been confronted with the sight of Will standing naked before
him, sexily sleep mussed hair and a very noticeable bump which was
now more pronounced that he was on his feet and not laying down.

"You are beautiful," Angel told him, moving now to take hold of Spike
and caress his swollen stomach.

"I know this already," Spike answered cockily with a smile, leaning
into Angel's touch.  "Poof."

"Shut up," Angel grinned and kissed his nose.  "Come on get dressed,
we're going."

xxXxx

"Where did you park?" Spike asked scanning the parking lot for
Angel's car.

"I didn't, Gunn, he's one of my um.crew?" He didn't know what else to
call him, ".dropped me off."

"No ride home in the daylight huh?  So you just assumed that I'd just
forgive you and let you back into my bed then."

"Well I hoped you would," Angel confessed worriedly.  Had he done
something else wrong?

"Hey calm down," Spike soothed Angel and put an arm around him
whishing that he hadn't made the comment now.  "I was only teasing,"
he patted him on the shoulder before walking over to the car.

"Oh.  Right," Angel let out a nervous chuckle, and was assured when
Spike turned and grinned openly and widely at him.

"Here," Spike threw his keys to Angel, who caught them.  "I know how
you like to be the one behind the wheel."

"Sure?" Angel asked him, opening the door for Spike the closing it
once he was settled, although it wasn't as if they hadn't driven each
others cars plenty of times before.

"Yeah, `sides I'm too tired," Spike got into the car.

"Is that normal?"  Angel asked, walking around and letting himself
in.  He didn't know anything about pregnancy, but he knew his Childe
and Spike usually required very little sleep, but today he'd slept so
much.

"The book says so.  It's supposed to get a bit better after about 4
months though then come back full force nearer the end.  I suppose it
didn't help that I hadn't been asleep for long before you got here
this morning."

"Sorry," Angel offered.  Spike waved his hand at him dismissively, he
didn't care.

"Can we go though that book together later?"  Angel asked.  "I want
to know everything there is to know and make sure that I do
everything right."

"I'd like that," Spike smiled sleepily at him.

"So we're around 3-4 months then?" Angel asked, adjusting the seat to
suit his larger form.

"Must be.  I haven't seen a doctor to know for sure."

"Then we'll find one, the best one." Angel stated.

"Sire?"

Angel stopped fiddling with the chair and turned his full attention
to Spike.  Spike had called him Sire, and in *that* tone.  The one
that showed that Spike was scared, very scared.  Angel took hold of
Spike's hands and looked him dead in the eye giving him his undivided
attention, features etched with concern, expecting to hear the
worst.  "Tell me," he soothed.

Spike unexpectedly burst into tears.  "I didn't know I was pregnant
at first and I smoked.  I quit as soon as I found out, but what if it
wasn't soon enough?  What if the doctor checks me over and tells me
that I've damaged our baby?  And those tablets, the Folic Acid ones,
it says on the label that I should have been taking them before
conception and for the first twelve weeks and I've only been taking
them for the last five.  I don't even know if any of the tablets are
doing anything at all, if they'd even work on vampires, but I thought
that well it couldn't hurt to take them if there was even a chance
that they'd be doing something good.  I'm a bad dad."

"Oh William," Angel pulled Spike into his arms and comforted
him, "You'll be a wonderful dad.  You haven't hurt our baby, I'm sure
of it."

"You are?" Spike sniffed.  He wanted to believe his Sire.  Angel was
a bit iffy, but Sire, Sire was always right.  Sire took control of
things so that Spike didn't have to deal with anything, didn't have
to think about anything.

"Sure am.and remember, I've got a prophecy at home that says so too
Childe!" Angel smiled reassuringly, continuing to play the role of
Sire.  "Ok now?"

"Yes Sire," Spike sighed, his tears drying up almost instantly, and
relaxed back into his seat.

"Home then?" Angel slid one hand over to rest on Spike's thigh, the
other he put on the wheel ready to drive.

"Home," Spike agreed and closed his eyes.

xxXxx

"Will, we're home," Angel's voice broke into Spike's dream.

"What?  Huh?  Oh yeah," Spike mumbled as he woke up fully, feeling
much better for that extra bit of sleep.

"They gonna be alright with me being here?" Spike inclined his head
towards the hotel, where he was sure Angel's groupies would be up
waiting for their champion to come home.

"Firstly and most importantly I want you here, and you'd be staying
here whether they wanted you to or not" Angel stated firmly then
lightened his tone.  "But yes they'll be fine with you.  Actually
Cordelia feels really guilty about turning you away, Gunn drove me
out to find you and Wes. well you saw him didn't you?  He was on your
side all along.  Cordelia isn't usually like that.  She thought that
you were up to something, that you were acting."

"Can't blame her," Spike cut in, surprising Angel when he merely
accepted the explanation for Cordelia's behaviour without any bad
feeling or malice.  "After all, she wasn't to know.  She was probably
just looking out for you.and that's a good thing," Spike
added.  "What you grinning at?"

"You."

Spike rolled his eyes at Angel, "Come on, we going in or not?"  Spike
asked opening the door and making to get out.  Angel was out of the
car and around by Spike's side in an instant, taking his hand to help
him out of the car.

"I'm pregnant, not an invalid," Spike said indignantly, but the full
beaming smile betrayed any anger.  He loved that he had Angel to go
through this frightening and exciting time with him now.  He'd had no
idea how he was going to cope on his own, but even if he'd had to, he
knew that he'd have done it somehow.  He loved their baby and wasn't
going to lose it.  "Thanks love," he kissed Angel.

"Ready?" Angel asked, reaching back into the car to get Spike's bag.

"Ready," Spike confirmed.

xxXxx

"Oh thank whoever," Cordelia's voice was full of relief when she saw
Angel and Spike come in through the doors.  "Wes, Gunn, they're
home," she called out as she approached the two vampires.  Wes
appeared from out of the office, Gunn a few seconds later from the
basement.  "Spike, I'm so sorry," she gushed once she reached him, "I
had no idea, I thought."

"No harm done," Spike assured her, cutting in and saving her from
having to stumble over an excuse.

"I feel so bad," she continued. "I had no idea," she repeated again.

"You weren't to know," he assured her again.

"I apologise for my behaviour yesterday," Wes said as he reached
them, but saved Spike the trouble of having to forgive him, "So how
are you feeling?"

"Not too bad," Spike offered politely.

"Gunn," short and to the point Gunn offered his hand to Spike who
shook it.  "Spike," he offered back.

"So you really are.you know?" Cordelia indicated towards his
stomach, "Wow!"

"So I've heard," Spike smiled at Angel thinking how that was his
comment too, wow!

The five of them stood there looking at each other for a few awkward
moments, not knowing what to say.  "Right," Angel broke the
silence, "Spike's tired so."

"Yes of course," Wes sounded all apologetic even though he had no
reason to be.

Angel took Spike's hand to lead him up the stairs.  "I'll be back
down soon," he told the others.

"No, we've got everything covered," Cordelia said.  "Don't even think
about coming back down. You just make sure that you look after Spike
ok?  We'll see you tomorrow." She grinned almost too pleadingly at
them.

"Thanks," Spike offered with a warm smile, he realised that Cordelia
felt guilty and was obviously trying to earn forgiveness.  Even
though he'd already given it, she obviously didn't feel as if she
deserved it.

"Yeah, thanks guys," Angel said then led Spike up stairs.

xxXxx

"I'm not tired anymore," Spike admitted as he entered Angel's suite,
pulled off his boots kicked them into the corner.  He'd been here a
few times before when there was no chance of being found out by
Angel's sidekicks and so knew his way around the apartment.  "Hungry
though," he stated, throwing his duster over the back of the sofa on
his way to the fridge.

"Sit down, I'll get," Angel offered, taking off his own shoes and
putting them neatly beside Spike's.

"S'all right, I got it."

Angel followed him anyway, getting the mugs out of the cupboard while
Spike got the blood and brought it over to the counter.

"You can drink that much?" Angel asked incredulously looking at the
amount of bags Spike had deposited on the counter.

"I'm a growing boy," Spike quipped rubbing his stomach.

"Do you reckon the bags will burst if I put them in the microwave?"
Angel wondered aloud, thinking about how he was going to heat up all
of the blood in one go.

"Dunno," Spike shrugged.  "Let's find out," he said taking hold of
one.

"Um, no, let's not," Angel took it back off of him and instead got a
bowl out to pour all of the blood into.

xxXxx

The microwave beeped, followed by a knock at the door.  Cordelia's
voice seeped through the wood.  "I thought Spike might like a cup of
tea, I'll leave it outside the door.  I'm going now, won't bother you
again."

"Thanks pet," Spike shouted back.

"She's trying to make things up to you," Angel said in his infinite
wisdom.

"I know," Spike stated then grinned cheekily at Angel.

"What?"

"Go on, fetch my tea then Peaches."

The microwave beeped again reminding them that it had
finished, "Alright I'm coming, I'm coming," Spike muttered to the
appliance.

Spike took the bowl of blood over to the table and Angel joined him
there with his tea and two empty mugs.  Spike sipped at the tea.

"I want to talk to you about something," Angel stated as he poured
some blood into both mugs, not catching Spike's gaze.

"Yeah?" Spike asked warily.

"I was thinking on the drive home and you know I said I want us to be
a proper family?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Well I really mean it."

"Ok?" Spike drew out the word.

"Well we're going to be parents right?  We should set and example,
create a stable environment and all that.  What I'm trying to say is
that while it suited us before, I don't want you sleeping around
anymore.  I want it to be just us, exclusively.  Actually if I'm
honest, I've never been happy with anyone else touching you.or you
them.  The other thing is that although you haven't played up to me
as your Sire for a while, I think any thoughts of that for the future
should stop.you're over one hundred now and the time for Childe-ish
games is over.  No more fighting." Angel didn't look up at Spike once
as he spoke and instead concentrated on playing with the mug in front
of him.

"Ok," Spike agreed easily.

"Ok?" Angel flicked his eyes up to look at Spike.  He was a little
surprised at the simple answer, he'd expected a bit of an argument or
a comment at least.

"For you.and our baby, anything."

"Really?" Angel was still a little stunned.

"Sure.  It's not like I need anyone other than you anyway.  I don't
know how much you think I've been sleeping around, but I seriously
doubt it's as much as you're imagining.  You know none of them mean
anything to me, it's just a bit of comfort now and again `s'all.  As
for the fighting, yeah I agreed, it is getting a bit old.  Doesn't
mean I'm gonna stop being me though, it's my job as your Childe to
wind you up," Spike smirked, then added a little shyly without
looking at Angel, "'sides, not like I liked I enjoyed you being with
anyone else either."

"Spike, the last person I was with was Buffy, and that was a few
years ago.oh and Dru the week after, but that was just the once and
you were there too.  If you didn't want me doing it all you had to do
was say, you know I would have stopped.  Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you?"

Their eyes met, neither had an answer.  Both shook their heads, the
barest hint of a laugh escaping as they realised how stupid they'd
been.

They finished up their blood, and Spike his tea too.  Angel got up to
put their used mugs and bits in the sink.  When he turned back around
Spike was sitting on the edge of the table, looking decidedly wicked.

"So, exclusive then?" Spike returned to their conversation, waggling
his eyebrow suggestively.  "I like the sound of that.  Fancy getting
a little.exclusive now, seeing as I'm not tired?"

"Think I might," Angel smiled seductively, moving towards him to
stand between his open legs and kiss him.

As their kiss deepened, Angel ran his hands up Spike's back.  His
hand brushed across something foreign.  He couldn't make it out and
stopped.  He pulled back, breaking the kiss to have a look.  "What.?"

"Braces," Spike cut in, talking as if Angel was an idiot.  "Jeans
won't do up," he offered as an explanation.  "These stop `em falling
down."

"Spike, you can't.look, you're.well poking out through here," Angel
said lifting Spike's T-shirt and finding that the jeans' zip was
undone and currently allowing Spike to `spill out'.

"Easy access," Spike grinned wickedly.  Angel rolled his eyes and
peeled off Spike's T-shirt, slipping the braces down over his
shoulders and letting his hands glide over his lover's chest.

Angel dropped to his knees and placed butterfly kisses all over
Spike's stomach.  He caressed his belly.  He rubbed his cheek against
the bump.  He froze.

"Now what?" Spike sighed a little impatiently.

"There's a heartbeat!  I can hear a heart beat!  Spike our baby is
human!"

"Yeah," Spike said un-alarmed.

"You knew?" Angel asked incredulously, his eyebrows rising almost
into his hairline.

"`Course I knew, I can feel its pulse inside me."

"And you didn't say?" Angel's eyebrows rose even higher, threatening
to rise right off of his face.

"Sorry, I didn't really think.  I guess I kinda just got used to it,
seems like it's a part of me now," He stated honestly.  "Got to say
though I've only noticed it recently, I guess it was too small or
something notice before or you'd have heard it when I first
conceived.  The pulse is one of the things that made me realise I was
pregnant.  I didn't know what it was at first, forgot what it's like
to have a pulse, and it's bloody weird to have it back I can tell
you.  Empathic demon confirmed it for me."

"How did we make a human baby?" Angel still couldn't believe it.

"I dunno. How did I, a male vampire, get pregnant in the first place?"

"I'll have to ask Wes to look into this," Angel stood up, his brow
creased in thought.

"Alright, but not now eh love?" Spike said gently, pulling Angel back
and undoing the buttons on his shirt to leave it hanging open.  "I
think we were busy right?"

"So we were," Angel smiled softly.  He'd think about the baby
later.  "Bed?" Angel suggested, thinking of Spike's comfort instead
of just taking him there on the table.

"Nah, I think we'll manage," Spike let a slow smile spread across his
face as he lay back flat on the table.  He lifted his hips a little
to encourage Angel to pull his jeans off.and he did.

Angel leaned down over Spike, taking his weight on his arms careful
not to crush his Childe, and captured his mouth in a slow wet kiss.
They entwined their tongues, rolling them against one another's,
tasting each other.

Spike raised his legs and wrapped them around Angel's waist and
ground his hips up against him.  Hard naked cock met hard cloth
covered cock, eliciting a groan from both men.

Angel released Spike's mouth and moved to kiss and suckle at his
neck.  Spike moaned and tipped his head further back, exposing more
of his neck for Angel's attention.

Spike dropped his legs to allow Angel to move as his lover made his
way down his body, leaving open mouthed kisses in his wake.

Angel gently flicked his tongue over and around one nipple causing
Spike to moan and arch up against him.  Angel nipped gently at the
hard bud before continuing his journey downwards.  In hopeful
anticipation, Spike raised his legs and placed his heels flat on the
table, causing his legs to fall open wide and so expose himself for
his Sire.

"Want something?" Angel breathed, and ran his tongue the up length of
Spike's cock.  "Hmmm," he murmured closing his mouth over the head
and sliding slowly down to the base, swirling his tongue around the
girth as he went.  Angel increased his suction as he slid his mouth
painfully slowly back to the top again.  "You taste good Will," he
informed him, removing his mouth and letting his hand take over to
slide down the shaft and pull the foreskin fully back.

Spike whimpered as Angel ever so gently flicked his tongue back and
forth rapidly across the sensitive underside of the exposed head, an
action that always had Spike writhing in bliss.  "More," he begged
and as Angel worked his tongue just a bit faster he heard Spike throw
his head back against the table, "Oh yeahhhh."

Angel's ran his tongue delicately around and under the rim of Spike's
cock head, then lead it to explore the tiny slit and gather the clear
drops of pre-cum offered to him.  He increased the pressure and speed
of his repetitive actions, until his tongue was forcefully encircling
the mushroom head and collecting copious amounts of fluid with each
pass.  Without warning Angel moaned and slid his mouth back down to
take in Spike's full length.

As Angel's mouth continued to work Spike, his hand slipped down and
undid his own trousers.  He slipped and hand inside his shorts and
squeezed at his own cock encouraging the release of more pre-cum from
the already dripping slit.  He swiped his fingers through the liquid
to lubricate them.

"Ooohhh," Spike groaned and rocked his head from side to side as
Angel easily slipped a slick digit into his hole and fingered him.
Spike squirmed against the intrusion, grinding himself back against
his Sire's hand.  Angel rewarded him, crooking his finger just so to
massage his lover's prostate.

"Wait," Spike panted, reaching up to hold Angel's head still and
grabbing his wrist with the other.  "Want you in me."

Angel slid his mouth up and off of Spike, but continued to wriggle
his finger inside his arse even though his wrist was trapped.

"Please," Spike gasped.  "Need you."

Reluctantly Angel stopped, for the last few minutes he'd had a little
worry niggling away inside his head.  He'd hoped to bring his Childe
off this way and avoid having to confront his fears so soon.  Angel
slipped his finger out of Spike and moved up to lean over him, again
supporting his weight on his arms.  "You wanna do me?" Angel offered
seductively.

"Later," Spike gasped impatiently, he was close, so close.  "I want
you.  I need you."

"What if I hurt you?" Angel hushed.

"You won't," Spike assured him hurriedly.

"Ok," Angel agreed after a long moment, seemingly trying to gather
the courage do so something.  He positioned his cock head against his
boy's hole and."I'm sorry Spike, I can't," he spoke in defeat,
dropping his forehead to the table right beside Spike's ear.

"Fuck Peaches.  No.  Don't do this.why the fuck not," Spike moaned,
his whole body was literally humming, waiting to be penetrated.

"It's in there," Angel sounded so childlike.

"What?" Spike whined.  He was losing patience fast.

"The baby, it's *in there*."

"Is that all?" Spike would have laughed if he hadn't been so
desperate to have Angel inside him. "It's not like it can see you or
anything.  It's closed off in its own little watery world."

"Sure?"

"Yes, now get the fuck inside me before I stake you."

"How do you know?" Angel quizzed him.

"Angellll, now is not the time.  It's in the book ok!  Now will you
fucking well please just fucking FUCK me!!!  I'm beginning to
reconsider this exclusive thing," Spike added mumbling.

Assured, Angel dropped his trousers quicker than lightening, grasped
Spike's hips to pull him right to the edge of the table and entered
him in one swift movement.

Spike's instantly wrapped his legs around Angel's waist to pull him
in closer and deeper.  Angel bent over Spike and desperately claimed
his mouth as he rocked against and thrust into that welcoming
passage, trousers around his ankles and shirt falling to enclose
himself and Spike, sure to hit that delicious spot each and every
time.

Spike savagely bit into Angel's tongue as it invaded his mouth and
drank unsparingly of the blood that his bite released.  Angel tasted
his own blood and felt Spike's tight passage start to pulsate and
contact around him.  He worked Spike's cock harder and faster,
helping him to reach his goal.  Spike tore his mouth away from
Angel's and growled out his long awaited release, spilling himself
over his and Angel's stomachs.  Angel wasn't far behind, thrashing
about and panting hard until, "Gahh," signalled his moment of release
as he filled his boy with his seed.

Angel remembered not to collapse against Spike and instead eased
himself backwards allowing his cock to slip free from Spike's body.
Spike lay utterly spent on the table, eyes closed in perfect
contentment.

Angel bent his head down to Spike's stomach and slowly made to lick
up every drop of cum spilt across his lover's belly, savouring every
delicious mouthful.

"Hmmm," Spike sighed happily and reached down to pet Angel's head,
tangling his fingers in thick dark hair as Angel lapped away until
his Childe was completely clean.

Angel sighed too as he finished his task, resting his head against
the bump and hearing the soothing heartbeat within.

"Need gum," Spike finally stated.

"Huh?"

"Well I can't have a smoke.and hell do I want to.but it's got to be
gum."

"I'll get it," Angel kissed the bump then carefully pulled himself up
and off of Spike.  He kicked off his trousers rather than bother to
bend and pull them up.  He walked over to where Spike's duster was,
not needing to ask where to find the gum, and rummaged through the
pockets until he found what he was looking for.  He brought the
packet back over to Spike and helped him to sit up on the table.

"Cheers," Spike said unwrapping and popping a stick into his
mouth, "Want some?"

"No thanks.actually yeah, go on then," Angel changed his mind and
took a stick for himself.  Although he didn't smoke that often, he'd
got used to sharing a post coital fag with his lover and it actually
felt strange to not be doing so now.

"Tired?" Angel asked Spike.

"Nah, not really.  You?"

"No.  Shower?"

"Bath," Spike stated, "and not as hot as usual ok...the baby," he
reasoned.

"Alright," Angel spoke softly and kissed him.  He left Spike sitting
on the table while he wet to run the bath.

xxXxx

"Can I put bubbles in?" Angel called from the bathroom.

"If you want," Spike shouted back.

"Is the temperature alright?" Angel asked at a normal level, he'd
felt Spike walk into the bathroom behind him.

" `s fine," Spike assured him, dipping his hand into the
water..  "Thought we could go through some of this," Spike held up
the baby book as he climbed into the bath and sat down.  He'd
realised that Angel didn't have clue and was just as scared as he'd
first been, this would make things a bit easier for him.

"Can't wait," Angel said honestly as he slipped off his shirt and
climbed in behind Spike.  Spike lay back against him and both
wriggled around until they were comfortable.

Spike held Angel's full attention as he flipped through pages of the
book, explaining things to him and answering questions as best he
could from his experience so far, and from what he'd read.  What he
didn't know they looked up together.  Angel snuggled into the crook
of Spike's neck and rested his chin on his Childe's shoulder to make
sure that he could see everything in the book.  He didn't want to
miss a thing.  Angel constantly stroked `their' bump as they talked
about the baby inside.

"Obviously I don't have any of these girly bits," Spike explained
pointing at a diagram showing a growing baby inside its mother's
stomach, "well at least I don't think I do, maybe I've `grown a
uterus or something, I don't know really, but I guess it has to be
similar.  Anyway, see here how the baby is safe in its own little
amniotic sack?  That's the watery world that I was telling you about."

"Will?" Angel questioned, a thought suddenly occurring to him from
Spike's last words, "about not having `girly bits', how's the baby
gonna get out?"

"I'm guessing that it's coming out the way it when in," Spike spoke
uneasily.  He knew that their pregnancy would end it birth, but it
terrified him and he didn't really want to think about that bit too
closely yet.

Angel felt him tense, kissed his cheek and tried to sooth him, "I'll
be there for you.  It'll be alright.  We'll get through it
together."  He felt Spike relax back against him.  "You could always
opt for a caesarean," Angel suggested.

"No," Spike was adamant.  He'd given this part a lot of thought and
became very animated in telling Angel about it.  "I want this baby as
natural as possible, no drugs, no being stuck to monitoring
equipment, nothing.  I want to be able to move around and do what I
want to do and use instinct, I want to listen to my body and do what
it's telling me to do.actually Angel, what I'd really like is a water
birth.says in here," Spike flicked to find the right page, "that it's
the least traumatic way for the baby because its been like living in
fluid it's entire life and it's delivered into something familiar,
not just suddenly brought into a noisy, cold, air filled world.
It's supposed to make for calmer happier babies...and I'd like it
too.  Still the only thing is it would cost to hire a birthing pool.
I don't want to go into a hospital and deliver in a strange place
with strange people.

 "I've got a picture in my head of exactly how I want it to be,"
Spike spoke much quieter now, softer.  "I was hoping that you'd want
me and the baby and that you'd want us to live with you.  That's
bit's worked out," Spike sounded wistful, happy.  Angel hugged him
and continued to listen.  "I'd like to have a pool here, lights low,
nice and calm.  I want it to be just you and me.well and a midwife
too, I don't want to take any chances.  But I want one that I've got
to know, I don't want some stranger touching me and seeing me like
*that*.  Maybe you could even get in the pool with me.  Maybe you
could cut the cord.still, probably all sounds a bit daft and poncy,"
he said offhandedly to cover his embarrassment.

"It sounds perfect to me," Angel hushed.  Spike couldn't see his face
but Angel's voice was choked and Spike could smell the barest hint of
salt that accompanied unshed tears.  "I'll get you whatever you want,
anything you need.  We'll do this however you want.  I'll be there
with you, for you.I'll do whatever you need."

"I love you," Spike whispered.  Angel burst into tears, only the
acidic smell told Spike that these weren't tears of joy.

Spike manoeuvred himself with difficulty, turning to straddle Angel's
legs and pull up close to him, taking him into his arms.  Angel let
Spike hold him and buried his face into his Childe's chest.

"Come on Angel, please don't cry.  What's wrong?"

"I've missed so much already," Angel sobbed.

"You've missed me sleeping a whole lot and throwing up.  You weren't
to know, hell I didn't even know and with the things I eat.."
Spike's attempt at humour wasn't working.

"Right, you missed the sick part?" Spike mused aloud to
himself.  "Well it was kinda brownish, nah maybe more yellow, looked
to be full of carrots, and how does that happen by the way?  Always
carrots whether you've eaten them or not."

"You're disgusting," Angel half sniffed, half snorted a laugh.

"That's better," Spike smiled widely, using a finger to lift Angel's
head and look into those deep dark eyes.  "This is supposed to be a
happy time.  You missed a bit, so what?  Can't say I wouldn't have
minded missing some of those bits too.  You're here now, and that's
what matters to me ok?  Ok? He asked again when Angel didn't answer.

"Ok," Angel agreed.

"Now how `bout we get out of here," Spike said thinking how the water
was getting a bit cold now, "and cuddle up in front of the telly for
a bit."

xxXxx

Wrapped in a towel, Spike lay on the sofa in front of Angel's archaic
TV set, flicking rapidly through the few channels hoping to find
something worth watching.

"Where you going?" Spike asked as Angel came out of the bathroom and
walked straight past the sofa, heading towards the door.

"There's a letter," Angel informed him as he bent down to retrieve a
piece of paper wedged half way under the door.

He picked up the paper and found that it was a printed list of demon
surgeries and clinics.  The Maternity & Paternity care section, which
listed doctor and midwifery services, had been circled.  Paternity?
Angel realised that male pregnancies obviously weren't all that
strange in demonic communities.or perhaps it just meant that the
fathers were welcome to attend too.  "Going home now, see you
tomorrow.  PS. I hope I'm not being presumptuous, but I thought this
might help," was scribbled across the top in Cordelia's handwriting.

"Cordelia?" Spike asked, guessing that she'd probably done something
else to try and make things up to him.

"Yeah, she's printed out a list of doctors and midwives," Angel said
handing the paper to Spike to have a look at.

"That was nice of her," Spike said.  Angel thought he was taking the
piss for a moment, but then realised that he wasn't.

"They keep demonic hours.  If you're not too tired we could go and
check one out.maybe.if you want to of course," Angel added
cautiously.  He didn't want to push Spike into doing anything.

"Well there's nothing on TV," Spike sighed switching it off, "alright
then.  Suppose we should get checked out properly."  Angel beamed at
him.  He could hear the hidden worry in his Childe's voice, but knew
that he was willing to go even if it was a bit frightening.

"We'd best chose one out of town though, don't think going into a
demon clinic with `Angel the demon slayer' will go down well."

"I didn't think of that.  Right, I'll go get dressed and I'll find
you something to wear too then we'll find a suitable clinic."

"Hey what's wrong with my jeans?"

"For one, they don't fit you, and two I don't want anyone else
getting an eyeful of what's mine.exclusively!"

xxXxx

At their chosen clinic, Angel filled in Spike's booking form.  Spike
sat beside him on the uncomfortable plastic pews, currently wearing a
pair of Angel's sweat pants, the waist string pulled snugly above his
bump stopping them from falling down, and the too long legs tucked
and tied into his boots.  He'd put his own T-shirt back on.

"Patient's name.  Do you want me to put Spike or William, Will?"

"Spike.  Only you're allowed to call me Will," Spike stated, "just
you."  Angel smiled at him, pleased.

"Species? Vampire," Angel mumbled to himself as he filled in the
card "Male, check.  Partner's name if applicable? Angel.  Species?"

"Poof?" Spike supplied helpfully.

"Vampire," Angel ignored him and carried on writing and
mumbling, "Male, check.  Health information.  Is this your first
pregnancy? Yes, check.  Date of last period or time in heat if
applicable? N/A.  Was the pregnancy planned? No, check.  Preferred
delivery method?  Natural, check.  Preferred antenatal care?  You
want midwife scheme yes?"  Spike looked at the other options and
nodded yes.  "Midwifery scheme, check.  Preferred species of
midwife?  Any, check.  Do you smoke? Given up for pregnancy, check.
Do you drink alcohol? Given up for pregnancy, check.  Do you use
recreational drugs? No, check."

"Put not in last two years," Spike said leaning over to read the form.

"What?  Spike!" Angel looked disappointed, Spike shrugged and Angel
checked the box.  "Please add anything else that you think will help
us to help you.  Will, anything else you want me to put?"

"Home birth.in water."

"Home delivery using birthing pool," Angel repeated.  "There done.
Sign here," Angel handed the clip board to Spike.  Spike signed it
and handed it back.  "Right, I'll go hand this in."

xxXxx

"Spike?" The receptionist called.

"Here," Angel acknowledged, standing up and helping Spike to his
feet.  They walked over to the receptionist who handed them a card
filled in with their details and bearing an official stamp.  She
pointed down a corridor telling them to follow the yellow line
painted on the floor.

"Come on Toto," Spike said taking hold of Angel's hand and
whistled `Follow the yellow brick road' as they set off down the
corridor to meet their doctor, ignoring the other coloured lines
painted on the floor.

The line stopped outside one of the doors.  Angel knocked then opened
the door, standing back to let Spike go in ahead of him.  He shut the
door behind them.

"Hello there," greeted a rather enthusiastic doctor, he was a loose
skinned demon of some variety and reminded Spike of an old friend who
he hadn't seen for the ten years of so, Clem.  "Please have a seat.
I'm Dr. Samuel Brady, please call me Sam.  And you are?"  He held his
hand out for their pregnancy card as they sat down.

"I'm Angel, this is.my partner Spike," Angel took over when Spike
didn't answer.  "I'm the father," Angel added dumbly, "of the baby I
mean, although Spike is going to be a dad too.  But I'm not Spike's
father.well not really, I'm his Sire.  Spike's pregnant."

Spike was quite amused, Angel hardly ever babbled.  He must either be
really nervous, really excited or both.

"Sorry," Angel let out a little embarrassed laugh, realising how
stupid he must have just sounded.  Sam just smiled at him kindly.

"Well, well, Vampires hmm," Dr. Brady sounded quite excited.  "Can't
say we've ever dealt with a vampire pregnancy before.oh no need to
worry though," he added quickly thinking that was probably a stupid
and un-comforting thing to say, "nothing we can't handle.  In fact
your pregnancy will follow very much like a human one, given that
your body is ultimately human."

Sam took a moment to look over their pregnancy card details.  "Yes
this all seems in order.  So, this is your first check-up?"  Sam
asked, obviously thinking that Spike wasn't newly pregnant and
wondered why he hadn't been seen by a health professional already.

"Yes," Angel answered for him.

The doctor turned his attention to Spike, "Do you have any idea how
far along you are?"

"Maybe three and a half, four months?  I don't know for sure," Spike
answered.

"Well not to worry," Sam spoke cheerily.  "What we'll do is give you
a check over, see how far along you are, how the baby is doing and
then we'll go from there ok?"

"Ok," Spike's voice broke a little, not that anyone but Angel would
have noticed the slight infliction.

"Right then," Dr. Brady smiled reassuringly at Spike.  "First we'll
do your weight, if you could just slip your jacket and boots off and
stand on the scales for me."

Spike did as he was told, handing his duster to Angel and leaving his
boots lying on the floor.  He stepped up on to the scales and watched
the doctor fiddle with the markers on it.

"Good.  Ok you can step off now.  If you could just stand here so I
can check you're height.right good."  Sam wrote Spike's weight and
height down in one of the boxes on the inside of the pregnancy card.
The doctor spoke to himself as he filled in a couple of other
boxes, "Urine, N/A.  Blood pressure, N/A.  Weeks?  Right if you could
pop yourself up on the bed for me we'll see what's what."

Spike lay on the bed, Angel standing beside him.  Angel could see
that Spike was nervous, worried about what was going to happen and
scared that the doctor would find something wrong with the baby.
Angel held his hand.

Sam could see that both of them were nervous and excited.  All
parents were.  Good at his job and caring of his patients, unlike
some, this doctor always took his time to explain everything that he
was doing.  It reduced the stress on the parents and so made for
healthier easier pregnancies.

"Could you lift your T-shirt up and just pull down the top of your
pants a little."  Spike did as he was told and relaxed a bit
already.  He'd been worried that the doctor would want him to strip
fully or worse still do something internal.  Spike knew that he
wouldn't be able to handle that, someone touching him where only
Angel had ever been and was only ever supposed to go.  Spike noticed
the doctor putting on some surgical gloves and panicked.  Maybe what
he feared would be coming next.  The tension was back.

"I'm just going to feel your stomach," Dr. Brady informed him before
actually touching him so as not to surprise him.  The doctor felt
over and around Spike's bump, pressing firmly but gently as he
explained what he was doing.  "I'm checking how high your uterus is,
it's marked as `height fundus' on your card by the way, and judging
by that I can work out almost exactly how old your baby is."

"So he does have a uterus?" Angel asked thinking about their
conversation in the bath earlier.  "We were wondering about that."

"I'm sorry I wouldn't really know what to call it.  As I said I've
never heard of vampires getting pregnant before so I wouldn't know
the correct terminology to use.  But yes, Spike must have something
very much like a female uterus, there's no way the baby could grow
otherwise.  Males in some species have them already, others grow them
when they become pregnant.I'm assuming that's what must have happened
here."

"You we're right Spike, I would say that your baby is sixteen weeks.
That's means you can have a scan today if you'd like." Dr. Brady left
Spike for a second to write on his card.

Angel and Spike grinned at each other, they could see their baby if
they wanted.

"I've also written on here that the presentation of your baby is
transverse, this means that baby is currently lying sideways across
your uterus.."

"Is that normal?" Spike cut in quickly, worriedly.

"Perfectly," Sam assured him.  "Baby is small enough at the moment to
roll around and change position all the time.  It's only near the end
of your pregnancy that we need to be concerned with positioning."

Sam looked at the card again, "Fetal movements, N/A."  He anticipated
what was coming next, the same worry that all parents had when he
said this so he was quick to re-assure.  "This doesn't mean that your
baby is not moving, or that there's anything wrong.  It's just that
at this stage of your pregnancy it's too early to feel movements yet,
that usually happens at around twenty weeks or sometimes a bit
later."  He visibly saw both Spike and Angel flush with relief.

"On to fetal heartbeat then," Dr. Brady retrieved what Spike thought
looked like a miniature karaoke machine.  "This is called a
Sonicaid," the doctor informed them.  "It allows us to listen to
baby's heartbeat."

"I heard it," Angel said proudly.

"Wonderful yes?" Sam smiled at him and Angel nodded.  "Unfortunately
my hearing isn't as developed as yours, so I'll have to use this.
I'm just going to put a little bit of gel on you," the doctor said,
squeezing a blob of gel onto Spike's stomach.  Sam put the microphone
end of the device against Spike's bump and swirled it around in the
gel a couple of times whilst he fiddled with the receiving end,
suddenly the room was filled with a rhythmic `woosh, woosh, woosh'
noise.  That's your baby's heart," Sam told them, taking in the awed
and slightly goofy expressions on both of their faces.  Angel
squeezed Spike's hand excitedly and leaned over to kiss him.

"Sounds strong and healthy to me," the doctor added.  He let them
listen to the sound a few moments longer before taking the device
away and handing Spike some tissue to clean his stomach with.  "You
can get dressed now Spike."  Get dressed?  Spike pulled up his pants
and pulled down his t-shirt.  He sat on the edge of the bed allowing
Angel to retrieve his boots, slip them on him and do them up.  He
wasn't going to bother to do it himself if Angel was willing to baby
him.

"You weren't surprised that out baby has a heartbeat?" Angel asked,
standing back up from tying the laces, as the doctor wrote on the
card again.

"No.  I don't actually know how it would be possible to have a
vampiric baby.  I mean it wouldn't be able to grow given that it
can't age."  The doctor made no indication of talking down to Angel
or Spike, he was just musing aloud.  Even so, Angel felt a little
stupid, why hadn't he thought of that?

"Have you noticed any swelling?  Fingers?  Hands? Feet? Ankles?
Legs?" The doctor asked Spike, who shook his head no.  "Good.
Oedema, NIL," he spoke aloud as he once again wrote on the card.

"Just a blood test now," the doctor informed them as he took and a
couple of empty blood phials, a sterile sealed needle, a lump of
cotton wool and a tourniquet, put them on a tray and brought them
over to the bed.  He tightened the tourniquet around Spike's upper
arm.  "Can you pump your hand for me a few times, like this," the
doctor demonstrated, "that'll bring up a vein for me."  Sam prodded
as some likely looking veins on the inside of Spike's elbow.  He
seemed pleased with one and unsealed the needle, ready.  "Ok little
scratch," he warned Spike before inserting the needle.  Dr. Brady
flicked open the tourniquet.  Angel and Spike watched as the doctor
secured one of the phials to the end of the needle, filling the small
tube in seconds.  He quickly removed it and did the same with the
second phial.  He popped a piece of cotton wool over the needle
whilst it was still under Spike's skin and pressed firmly as he
pulled the needle out, keeping pressure on the tiny wound.  "All
done," Sam said as he finally removed his surgical gloves.

"Won't you just get a reading on whatever blood he's eaten?" Angel
asked.

"No, it becomes his blood.  I imagine that if you drank from him he'd
have a unique taste that was purely him, no matter whose blood he'd
been drinking.  It's the same with Sire's blood.  I've heard that
it's supposed to taste fantastical to a Childe isn't it?  And it
undoubtedly contains a power and strength that couldn't be obtained
purely from whatever blood had been drunk."

"Ah," Angel nodded, he understood.  He'd only tasted Darla's blood
when she turned him but couldn't say that it was fantastical, in fact
he found it rather revolting, but perhaps that's because he was still
human at that point.  He knew though that Spike did have a flavour
all of his own and he tasted amazing, there was nothing else like it,
nothing could compare.  Spike always told him that he tasted
wonderful too, `best blood in the world Peaches.'  As for the power,
he didn't need to taste to know that part was true.  He could
literally feel the power in his own blood and felt a similar vibe in
Spike's ancient blood.

"Have a seat again," Sam indicated the chairs that they'd originally
sat on.  "Now, we'll have the results of these in a few days," he
spoke as he sat too and filled in the information on the side of the
phial.  "Your midwife will write them in when he or she visits you.
You want the midwifery scheme yes?"

Angel went to answer yes for Spike, but Spike beat him to
it, "actually I'm not sure what I want.  Is there anyway that you can
do my check-ups and deliver me? But that I can still have the baby at
home.and in water?" he added.

"Yes of course, the option on your form was called practitioner
delivery scheme.  "Only it would mean that you'd have to come here
for your check-ups instead of being visited at home, but I can come
to you for the delivery.  Would you like me to change it to this for
you?"

Spike looked at Angel, "Is that alright with you?"  Spike liked the
way this doctor, the way he had treated them, the way he had
explained everything carefully.  He felt safe with him.

"Of course.  I told you, whatever you want, we'll do it."  He nodded
at Sam to go ahead with the change.

"Excuse me a moment," the doctor phoned down to reception.  "Ah
Wendy, could you please make up a new records card for Spike, patient
number V13462?  Yes, can you adjust it to practitioner delivery and
bring it down to me so that I can write in their check-up results
please?  Thank you so much Wendy.  Bye."

"She'll update that on the computer for you," Sam assured
them.  "Right where were we?  Oh yes, and in that case, I'll add your
blood results on when I next see you.  I'll need to see you every
four weeks to start off with, then every two as you get closer to
delivering.  Of course if you have any concerns or just want
reassurance, you can drop in anytime or phone me here at the clinic."

There was a knock on the door, "Come in," Sam called and Wendy
appeared with their new card.  He thanked her as she left.  Sam
transferred information from the old card to the new one as he asked
Spike some more questions.

"Are you having any problems with nausea?"

"I did at first, but no everything seems fine now," Spike was
becoming chatty and open with the doctor now, more relaxed.

"Any dizzy spells?  Fainting?"

"I've passed out twice, and occasionally I feel dizzy but I seem to
be ok as long as I load up on sugar."

Concern flushed across Angel's face, he hadn't known this.  What if
Spike had passed out somewhere unsafe and been hurt.or worse.  He
felt guilty that he hadn't been there to help him.  How must that
have been for Spike to know that he could collapse anywhere, with
anyone, knowing that he'd be vulnerable or that he'd be alone, left
to sort himself out when he came round.  Angel felt Spike squeeze his
hand, he obviously knew something was wrong and was trying to comfort
him.

"That's quite normal, and yes sugar helps.  Having lots of snacks
will help too.  Are you feeding well?"

"Yeah, and I've been taking some vitamins and stuff too.  I don't
know if they're helping though, Folic acid, one a day vitamins that
sort of thing.  They're all recognised names, I checked with the
pharmacist."

"That's fine, I don't see any harm in taking them and yes they
probably are helping.  What are you feeding on, human blood?"

"Mostly pig actually," Spike grimaced, "Is that alright?"

"I couldn't honestly say anything with regard to taste, but
nutritionally yes, it's not so different from human blood
biologically.  Actually could I perhaps make a personal observation?
Excuse me if I am being culturally ignorant, but from what I've seen
you two do not seem to fit the stereotypical traditional Sire and
Childe relationship.  You see I was thinking that if it was alright
with you, that it would be beneficial to Spike if he were allowed to
feed on Sire's blood occasionally.  I know how powerful and
nutritional it is for a Childe.  I apologise if I've overstepped any
boundaries with my remark," the doctor professed cautiously, he
didn't fancy becoming feed for an angry pair of vampires.

"No, that's not a problem," Angel spoke easily. "He takes it whenever
he wants anyway," he smiled and rolled his eyes.

"Well that's wonderful," the doctor was back to his cherry self again.

"Now about having a scan, would you like to go ahead with that?  I
will point out that some people chose not to, but most do.  The
choice is yours and you are under no pressure or obligation to have
one."

"Will it hurt the baby?" Spike asked.

"I have to tell you honestly that we don't know, although there have
been no reported ill effects, ultrasound screening hasn't been around
long enough to draw any long term conclusions from test results yet.
Strangely the only thing that we have found out from research is that
scans seem to increase the incidence of left-handedness."

"I'm left handed," Spike stated.

"Then there's a good chance already that baby will be left-handed
too.  They usually take after the birthing parent."

"Personally I think that it is unlikely for one scanning session to
do any damage, although I wouldn't be happy about conducting them
repeatedly unless there is a specific need to.  Overall I find that
it's very reassuring and comforting for parents to be able to see
their baby moving around, see baby's heart beating and know that baby
is alive and well.  Scanning also allows us to detect any problems
early on and prepare accordingly.

"In my professional opinion I would recommend that you do consider
having one, I think that it your case the reasoning ultimately
outweighs any risks.  Your pregnancy is unique and therefore it would
be best if we could see what's really going on in there.  It would
make for a more safe predictable delivery.  It would be better not to
have any surprises at such a crucial time.

"You don't have to answer me now.  Go away and think about it if you
like.  You can always have one at a later date.  It's not a problem.
I have a leaflet here that will help you to make an informed
decision."  Dr. Brady handed Spike a leaflet entitled `Antenatal
Screening - To scan or not to scan.'

"What do you think?" Spike turned to Angel.  Shit, what was Angel
supposed to say?  He was only glad that Spike hadn't called him Sire
in *that* tone again.  He didn't want to have to make the decision
for him.

"Will, in the end it's your choice.  I won't ask you to do anything
that you're not happy with but I have to say, if it was me carrying
our baby I'd have the scan.  Sam is right, it's best if we know
what's going on in here," Angel stroked Spike's belly.  "We could be
worrying about risks that might not even exist and miss something
important that really could affect our child.  What do you want to
do?  Do you want more time to think about it and come back if you
decide to go ahead with it?"

"No.  That's what I was thinking too.  I want to have the scan."

"Are you sure?" Angel asked worried that he'd pushed Spike into
saying yes.

"A hundred and one percent," Spike assured him.

"I think that's for the best," Dr. Brady reassured them.  "I'll take
you down to meet the radiologist in a moment.  I'd like to have a
look for myself seeing as I'll be delivering you.  Now is there
anything else that either of you would like to ask or discuss
further?"

Angel and Spike could have both sworn that they went into the clinic
with like a million questions each, and yet both seemed to have gone
blank.

"Can't remember what you wanted to ask?" Sam smiled at the knowingly
as if this happened to everyone.  "For the future, I always think
it's a good idea to write down anything that you want to ask and
bring the list with you, that way I can go through it with you and
answer all of your questions.  So, if that's all then, let's go down
to radiology."

Spike put his duster back on and both he and Angel followed the
doctor down to the radiology room, following the orange line painted
on the floor Spike noticed.

xxXxx

Spike found himself in the same situation as he had been in only a
while before in Dr. Sam Brady's room.  They had been introduced to
the radiologist, Eleanor, and now Spike was once again lying on a
bed, T-shirt up, pants slightly down and belly covered in gel with
Angel holding his hand.  The radiologist had decided not to make
Spike drink the usual two pints of water for the scan, as his bladder
wouldn't actually hold the liquid and so it wouldn't serve any
purpose.

Eleanor flicked a switch and the room was plunged into near
darkness.  "Let's have a look shall we?" she asked then swirled the
scanner head through the gel to spread it around, much like Sam had
done with the Sonicaid, then she moved it slower, more purposefully.
Spike and Angel were both anxious as she starred at the screen
intently, obviously studying their baby.  Dr. Brady stood beside her
looking at the screen too, but didn't say a word and let her get on
with her job.

"Baby is fine," she informed them with a smile then turned the screen
around so that they could both see what she had been studying
privately, for medical eyes only until she was sure that all was well.

Spike starred transfixed at the blobby thing wriggling about on the
screen, and couldn't stop himself as tears began to fall and roll
down his face..it was *his, their* blobby thing.  For once he
couldn't care less that anyone might see him cry.  There was no way
he was pulling his gaze from that screen.

"Oh Will, that's our baby," Angel spoke choked as he squeezed up
tight to Spike to get a better view, that's when Spike realised that
Angel was crying happy tears too.

"Here you can see baby's spine, this is the head, here are the legs,
and oh look, that's sweet, baby is sucking baby's thumb.  We'll get a
picture of that," the radiologist pressed a button on her keypad to
take a picture.  "This is baby's heart, you can see it beating.  I'm
just going to freeze the frame here and take some measurements, to
make sure they correspond with your dates."  She took the
measurements then unfroze the screen.  Rolling the scanner around
once more she let them look at their baby for a few more moments.
Ok?" she asked and they both nodded so she stopped scanning and
handed Spike some tissues to clean up with.

"I'll just print up baby's photo for you," Eleanor informed them,
ignoring them now kissing each other.  They were both so happy,
relieved and totally reassured that their baby was fine.

"I love you Will," Angel whispered into Spike's ear so that the
doctor and radiologist wouldn't hear.

"You too," Spike did the same back and kissed him again.

"Congratulations," Eleanor smiled at them and handed Angel the photo
of their baby.  He instantly turned it around for Spike to see.  It
was good enough quality to make out the baby's head, backbone and one
leg and yes, they could clearly see it sucking its tiny thumb.well
they could make out the picture anyway, to anyone not in the know it
looked much like a deformed kipper.

"Thank you," Angel told the radiologist, just as sacredly as if she'd
just handed him the moon.maybe she had.

"Well I've got my next patient to see so I'll leave you to it," Dr.
Brady told them.  "On your way out can you please make an appointment
with the receptionist to see me in four weeks time?  If you have any
concerns before then, anything at all, feel free to drop in or give
me a ring, my number is here on top of your record card," he said
handing the card to Angel as Spike cleaned himself up at last.  "I'll
be seeing you soon."

"Thanks," both Angel and Spike spoke at the same time.

"My pleasure," Sam told them as he left the room.

Once Spike had sorted himself out he got up and slipped his duster
back on.

They both thanked the radiologist and she wished them good luck.

On the way out Spike made an appointment for four weeks time as Dr.
Sam Brady had told him to.  The receptionist filled in a box inside
his pregnancy card to remind him of the date of his next check-up.

xxXxx

"That was amazing," Angel enthused once they were outside of the
clinic.

"It was," Spike agreed happily but tiredly.  "I feel like a huge
weight had been lifted off of me," he admitted with a yawn.

"Tired again?  It's been a long exciting night hasn't it?  Come on,
lets get you home to bed," Angel put his arm around Spike and pulled
him close, snuggling up to him as they walked towards the car.  "So
you liked Sam then?  He was nice wasn't he?  I loved the way he
didn't call out baby it, he, she, him or her, you know and just said
baby as if that was the name."  Angel carried on talking about the
night's events as he and Spike got into the car, and carried on for
most of the way home.  Spike was just as happy as Angel, but simply
couldn't muster up enough energy to say anything.  He was content to
just listen to Angel happily rattling on.

By the time they pulled up outside the hotel Spike was asleep.

"We're home Will," Angel tried to wake him up.

"Too..tired," Spike complained slowly.

"Come on, out you get.  I'll carry you."

"'K," Spike agreed, leaning heavily on Angel as he got out of the
car, then clinging around his neck like a small child as he let Angel
carry him in and up to bed.  Spike just lay on the bed and let Angel
worry about untying his boots and getting his duster and the rest of
his clothes off as he drifted back off to sleep.  Finished, Angel had
something to do quickly before he stripped off and climbed in beside
Spike.  He pulled the covers up over the pair of them and spooned up
behind Spike in his new favourite position, holding his Childe tight
and safe, whilst his hand rested protectively over their baby.  He
rubbed his face into Spike's hair and waited for sleep to take hold.

xxXxx

When Angel woke it was light outside and he could hear Cordelia, Wes
and Gunn chatting and moving around downstairs.  He hadn't moved much
in his sleep and neither had Spike.  If Spike had been breathing
Angel would have thought that he was still asleep, but he wasn't.
Angel nuzzled against Spike's shoulders, peppering him with
kisses, "Will, you ok?"

"Hmm," Spike snuggled back against him.  He was enjoying the
attention, but Angel knew that something wasn't quite right.

"What are you thinking about?" Angel hushed, placing open mouthed
kisses across his shoulders now.

Spike sighed, "I'm thinking that I need to tell Buffy and the
others," he sighed again and rolled over to face Angel, snuggled up
against him and began absently toying with one nipple.  "How am I
supposed to tell her.them, about us, about our baby?"  He looked up
at Angel then something behind his Sire caught his eye.  "Oh wow
Angel," he hefted himself up a bit and reached over his lover's chest
to pick up the now framed scan picture of their baby.  "When did you
do this?"  Spike lay on his back and starred at it, awed once again
by seeing their tiny creation.

"Last night.  You were asleep.  It's one of those acid free ones so
the picture shouldn't fade," Angel cuddled back up to Spike so that
they could look at the picture together.  "Would you mind if I showed
it to the guys?"

"Peaches, this is *our* baby, that means yours too, course you can
show your friends."

"So, um, you want breakfast?" Angel asked.  He'd have to go
downstairs and show his face soon.

"I seem to remember something about Sire's blood being good for me,"
Spike smiled devilishly at him.  Angel tilted his head enticingly,
baring his neck invitingly for his Childe.

"Hmmm, don't mind if I do," Spike hushed seductively as he fell into
game face and leaned in to lick slowly up the column of Angel's
neck.  "Taste so good Pet," Spike murmured against Angel's skin as he
mouthed over the spot that he intended to drink from, toying with
him, kissing and ever so gently nipping.  Spike rested the point of
his fangs against Angel's smooth skin.  Angel started to breathe in
anticipation waiting for the sweet white hot sting that he knew would
come with penetration.

Slowly, so torturously slow, millimetre by millimetre Spike slid his
fangs cleanly into the soft waiting flesh, savouring the feel of the
skin parting wetly and gripping his fangs tightly.  Angel was panting
hard now, desperate to have Spike's fangs embedded all the way in,
deep, deep inside him.  Angel cried out in pleasure as he finally
felt his Childe's lips touch his skin, knowing that he was buried in
to the hilt at last.

Spike teased Angel, lightly flicking and rolling his tongue against
the two puncture wounds bleeding and yielding just for him, lapping
gently at the slow thick trickle he found there.  Angel moaned and
tipped his head back further, aggravating and tearing his wounds,
causing his blood to spill faster from the now ragged holes.  He put
a hand on the back of Spike's head and pulled him closer, demanding
more.  Spike sucked more purposefully drawing out and swallowing
mouthfuls of the thick red fluid.

Spike reached up and ran one finger gently along Angel's lips.  As he
felt his Sire move to bite it, he pulled it away fractionally,
teasing him.  Spike traced his finger around the outline of Angel's
mouth, always remaining just out of reach as his Sire tried
desperately to get a hold on it or swipe at it with his
tongue.  "Please," Angel begged raggedly.  Spike pushed his finger
against his lover's lips and allowed Angel to slowly suck into his
mouth.  Spike just as slowly withdrew it again, only to have Angel
suck it back in again and swirl his tongue around it.  Spike fucked
Angel's mouth with his finger as Angel mimicked giving head to it,
moaning and groaning.  Spike growled into Angel's neck as his finger
was finally penetrated with needle sharp fangs.  Angel sucked harder,
moving his mouth up and down, up and down.

Angel's movements were causing his neck to tear wider.  Spike shook
his head savagely and ravaged Angel's neck, butting and jerking
against the twin gaping wounds.  Angel could hear him snuffling,
snarling and gulping noisily, a low growl rumbling in his chest.
Angel groaned as he felt his blood being pulled forcefully from him,
flooding into that wickedly talented mouth, in response he sucked
harder at his source of blood.

Their hips rocked hard against one another, creating a delicious
friction as their cocks rubbed against one another's almost of their
own accord, but this was only bodily, inconsequential, a secondary
accompaniment to the feeling of feeding and being fed from.

Spike suddenly tore his mouth away from Angel's neck growling
triumphantly, long and loud as the blood fully infused him and he
came.  Angel had opened his eyes to watch Spike coming, the sight of
his Childe's true face covered in blood, his jaw open and fangs
dripping, was all he needed to push him over the edge.  Angel bucked
and humped against Spike's body, sucking harder on his finger and
pulling that precious liquid into his mouth.  His eyes finally closed
and rolled back in his head as wave after wave of orgasm gripped him
and he spilt as his lover had mere seconds before.

They frantically sought out each others mouths, roughly clashing
fangs in their desperation to taste the spilt blood on each other's
faces and the traces on each other's tongues.  Gradually they calmed
down, game faces fading away as their raw animalistic actions were
satisfied and slowed to become tender kisses.

Spike gently kissed his way down Angel's chin and buried his face
into his neck.  He soothed the ravaged holes, tenderly licking at
them to seal and heal.  His delicate, loving attentions caused Angel
to tremor with renewed aftershocks at each and every swipe of his
soft wet tongue.  Finally Spike came to a stop, his face pressed into
the crook of his Sire's neck.

"You ok?" Angel hushed after a few silent moments.

"Yeah," Spike giggled a little.

"Are you high on my blood?" Angel asked amused.  He carefully rolled
Spike on to his back to look at him.  Spike looked insanely happy,
dazed and every bit reminiscent of a human in a drug induced stupor.

"Feel good?" Angel whispered, smile evident in his tone.

"Uh-huh," Spike answered him with a goofy grin.

Angel grinned back, although he wasn't sure if Spike was focusing on
him or not.

"Will you be ok if I go take a shower?"

"Uh-huh."

"Sure?"

"Uh-huh."

"Can you say anything besides uh-huh?"

"Uh-huh."

Angel rolled his eyes.

"I can say I love you," Spike surprised him.

"I love you too," Angel offered.

"Good.  So go shower then get your butt downstairs and make some
money for our baby.  I'm gonna sleep some more!"  Spike told him
cheekily, even as he pulled him back down and kissed him some
more.  "I'll be alright," Spike whispered sincerely, "and I really am
gonna sleep a bit more, I'm knackered."

"Ok.  If you're asleep by the time I'm done showering I'll come back
and check on you later," Angel assured him softly then kissed him
again.  "Do you need anything before I go?"  Spike waggled his
eyebrow at Angel with a grin.

Angel rolled his eyes at him yet again, "I'll see you later."  He
kissed Spike once more then leaned down to kiss his belly.  "Call me
if you need anything ok?"  Spike nodded tiredly.  He watched as Angel
walked off into the bathroom, then rolled over and got comfortable to
go back to sleep.

xxXxx

Spike was asleep by the time Angel had done showering.  He got
dressed quietly, choosing a high necked sweater to cover his damaged
neck and Childe's teeth marks and drank a couple of blood bags
straight from the fridge.  Angel left Spike's vitamins on the bedside
counter so that he'd see them when he woke, then picked up the scan
photo to show his friends, kissed Spike on the forehead and left him
alone to sleep as he disappeared downstairs to do his work.

~Part: 3~

When Spike awoke he realised that he'd missed Angel leaving for
work.  After taking his tablets, having a shower and getting dressed
in Angel's sweats again, he went downstairs to find Angel.

"Hi Spike.  Cup of tea?" Cordelia asked him as he walked into the
lobby.

"Nah, fine thanks," Spike said. "Where's Angel?"

"He came up to see you a couple of times but you we're still asleep,
then he got a call.  He's out with Gunn now."

"But its still daylight," Spike was a little surprised and a little
worried that there were still a few hours daylight left, and Angel
and sunlight didn't mix.

"Hence Gunn, anyway their down in the sewers, they'll be fine, they
always are," she assured him.  "So how are you feeling today?  Angel
showed me your scan photo, so cute!"

"Oh yeah, thanks for the addresses," Spike remembered the list that
she'd printed for them.

"No problem.  Oh excuse me," Cordy answered the phone, "Angel
Investigations, we help the helpless."  She scribbled in her
notepad, "Right, I'll get back to you as soon as possible, 2361," she
repeated the end of the phone number back to them, checking that she
had the right contact details.  "Thanks for calling. Wes?" she called
out when she put the phone down, smiled at Spike then went to find
Wes.

Spike wandered over to the counter and had a look around.  He sat
down in Cordelia's chair and began to flick through the newspaper
that one of them had left there.  The phone rang.  He ignored it for
a couple of rings then looked around to see if Cordelia was coming to
answer it.  She was nowhere to be seen.  Should he answer it or leave
it?  He picked up the phone, "Hello?  Oh yeah, I mean Angel
Investigations, we help the.hopeless?"  What was it Cordelia had said?

"Spike?"

"Red?" Spike recognised Willow's voice.  "Ah shit," sounded in his
head.

"What are you doing there?" She was clearly surprised and also very
suspicious.

"Just, um, visiting Angel?" He answered with a questionable tone,
clearly sounding unsure.  "Um, he's not here," he offered.

"No it was Cordelia I wanted."

"She's.um, she's not here either," Spike answered, leaning over in
the chair to see if he could see her coming back the way she'd left.

"Where is she?" The accusation that he'd done something was clearly
evident in Willow's voice.

"Oh wait, I see her.  Oi Cordelia. Willow," he held up the phone.

"Hello?" Cordelia leaned across the counter and took the phone off of
him.  "No I'm fine.  He's just.visiting Angel," Cordelia tried to lip
read what Spike was saying.  "Why?  Because well, because Angel asked
him to, he needed Spike's help with something," she shrugged at
Spike, not knowing what else to say.  That was the first thing that
popped into her head.

Satisfied that Cordelia was alright and telling the truth, Willow got
to the point of her original reason for phoning and Spike went back
to flicking through the newspaper.  From the uneasiness of their
speech, Spike realised that this wasn't a regular occurrence.  Willow
must need help with something.  Wes came and joined them in the
lobby, "Hello Spike, cup of tea?" he offered as Cordelia had done.

"No ta,"

"I'm getting one for myself," Wes offered again.

"Oh alright, go on then.  Cheers."

"Coffee?" Wes mouthed at Cordelia who was still chatting to Willow.
She nodded yes, then "ok then, bye Willow."

"Willow?  What did she want?" Wes was interested.

"Something about.oh hang on," the phone rang again.  "Angel
Investi..Buffy?"  Spike guessed that Willow had gone rushing straight
to her with the news that he was there.

"Because Angel needed *him* for something, not you," Cordelia snapped
and Spike guessed that Buffy must have barged in with her commanding
voice, demanding to know everything.  Probably pissed that Angel had
called Spike instead of her, or without asking her permission.that
would have been if he'd really called at all.  "I don't know,"
Cordelia ground out, "let me see if he's around."  She looked at
Spike.  Cordelia didn't like the way Buffy had spoken to her, and she
felt responsible towards Spike.  Spike nodded sadly and reached out
for the phone.

"Slayer," he greeted her cheerily, spinning the wheeled chair around
to face the other way.

"Spike," she greeted him flatly.  "What are you doing there?"

"Ah, are you missing me?"

"No," he could picture her rolling her eyes.  "So, what are you doing
there?  Is Angel alright?  What did he need you for?  When are you
coming back?"

"Bleedin' hell, take a breath woman," Spike scolded her then fell
silent.

"Spike?"

"Yeah," he replied softly, "Look Buff, I need to speak to you ok, but
not now alright?"

"No that's not alright, what's wrong?" Buffy sounded concerned.

"I don't wanna tell you over the phone.."

"You're worrying me, tell me.  Is something wrong with Angel?"

"No."

"Well what then?"

"It's not always bloody well about Angel you know," he couldn't help
but snap at her.  Angel had left her.  He'd stayed.  He'd helped her
and yet still she never `saw' him, thought about him, cared about him.

"You?"

"Yes, me," he ground out flatly, annoyed, then wished that he hadn't
said anything.

"Well?"

"Nothing.  Look, just forget it ok."

"If you don't tell me I'm coming there now!"

"Buff, I told you, I don't want to do this over the phone."

"TELL ME!"

"I don't .no, really, not now.please?"

"If you don't tell me I'm gonna beat you so badly, then I'm gonna."

"Fine!  But it involves Angel."

"Yes?"

"Angel and me."

"Uh-huh?"

"As in *Angel* and *me.*

"What do you mean.oh," it suddenly sank in, "together?"

"I'm sorry."

"How long?"

"Spike I asked you how long?" She said again when he didn't answer
the first time.

"Since Angelus," he answered sadly, he really didn't want to hurt
her.  "Since the night he Sired me."

"But you told me Dru.you said."  Buffy couldn't finish what she
wanted to say.

"I lied," he said softly.

"Why didn't you say something before?"

"Why didn't I say something?  Bleeding hell, because I didn't want to
hurt you, besides how could any of you have understood why a hero
like Angel could possible want to be with some `thing' like me?"
Spike was putting himself down, and it was clear from the way that
he'd say it that he truly believed himself to be a `thing' of no
importance.  "I didn't want.you'd have all tried to take him away
from me, tried to talk him around.I didn't want to lose him."

"He was with you while he was with me?" She accused angrily, the
though suddenly occurring to her.

"Sorry." That was all he could seem to keep saying.  She might not
have cared for him, but he did for her.in his own way.  They might
not get along that well, but he honestly didn't want to hurt her.

"That's not all," he sighed and closed his eyes.  She'd find out
sooner or later anyway, better to get everything over with in one go.

"There's more?" She asked incredulously.  "I don't know if I want to
know?"

"There's no easy way to say this.  Buffy, I'm.I'm pregnant.and Angel
is the father," he finished quickly, closing his eyes tightly waiting
for the impact.  He had to pull the phone away from his ear as she
burst into laughter.

"Buffy, I'm serious," he said sadly.

"Spike?" She wanted him to tell her it was a joke, wanted him to deny
it.

"I'm so sorry," she could hear the tightness in his voice, knew that
he was trying not to cry.  Knew it was true.

"How?" She sounded so lost, shocked.

"I don't know," his voice broke.   "Fuck!" she could clearly hear him
crying now.

"He was supposed to be with me, not you!  Why do you get to have a
family with him, why do you get to have him when I can't?" She was
crying too, accusing him.

Spike dumbly held the phone, starring blankly as he listened to her
cry.  He couldn't stand it.  He wanted to drop the phone on the
counter, wanted to back away and escape, but he held on.  He believed
that he'd caused this hurt therefore he didn't deserve to be able to
just run away and hide from it.

Buffy finally spoke and drew him back from wherever his mind had
taken him to the present.

"Is he," she coughed a little to clear her throat, putting her tears
in check.  "Is he looking after you?  Are you.alright?"

Her brave words surprised him.  It had been hard for her to hear but
something made her realise that it must have been a million times
harder for him to say.  In her heart she knew that he hadn't wanted
to upset her, hadn't deliberately set out to hurt her.  It wasn't his
fault that Angel had left her, it wasn't his fault that he'd got what
she had wanted.  Buffy realised that Angel wasn't hers anymore,
hadn't been for a long time.if he ever had been.  She'd moved on a
while ago and so she shouldn't keep looking back to the past, to what
might have beens or more truthfully, what couldn't have beens, what
never would have beens.

Spike nodded yes, then realised that she couldn't see him.  "Yes," he
barely breathed.

"Are you.both.happy?"

"Yes," he breathed again.

There was a long silence.  Neither knew what to say, but something
big had just happened between them, something had changed.  They had
just been brought closer by something that should have pushed them
away.  It was as if they suddenly understood one another and saw each
other for who they really were.  They had reached a new understanding.

"So," Buffy let out a long sigh, it sounded like she was preparing to
put this behind her, deal with it and move on.  It sounded like
acceptance.  "So, um, can I tell the others?"  Spike could clearly
hear the sad smile in her voice as she tried to be brave.

"Yeah," he let the barest hint of a laugh pass softly through his
lips.  "Course you can," he knew at that moment that she did care
about him, although he guessed he'd always known really.

"I've got to.I've.bye Spike."  Buffy finally settled with. "Hope
things work out for you," she said sincerely.

"Thanks," he whispered. "Bye Slayer," he spoke so softly, so tenderly
and hung up the phone.

It was only then that Spike realised that Cordelia and Wesley were
still present, leaning on the counter, watching him.  He suddenly
felt very vulnerable, open, embarrassed and.ashamed?  He spun the
chair back around slowly and looked at them.  Cordelia's eyes
sparkled with unshed tears, obviously feeling for him.  Wesley looked
sadly sympathetic, yet strong and supportive all at once.

Something had happened here too, he'd dropped his guard and they'd
seen *him*.  They just saw what Angel always saw and it didn't matter
what Spike did or said from now on, they knew who he really was.

On his arrival he'd known that Wes looked at him with the same eyes
that he looked upon all of their `help the hopeless' cases.  He'd
known that Cordelia had felt guilty, and to try and alleviate her
guilt, had decided to protect and be responsible for him to make
herself feel better.

Although no words were spoken, Spike was suddenly aware that things
had changed drastically, he had been accepted, not as a case, not out
of a sense or duty, nor as something they did to please Angel.they'd
accepted him for himself and Spike knew, for the second time today
that he was cared for.  He'd just been taken in as part of the AI
family.

"You, um, said something about tea?" Spike questioned, standing up so
that they weren't looking down on him.  He felt awkward and open.  He
wanted to go back and hide behind his usual façade where he felt safe.

"Well I'd best get on with that then," Wesley said taking Spike's
cue.  If Spike wanted to play it that way it was fine by
him.  "Coffee wasn't it Cordelia?" He asked to snap her back to a
sense of normalcy and let Spike go back to `hiding'.

"Yes thanks," she said cheerily, pretending that nothing out of the
ordinary had just happened.  She didn't need to rub Spike's face in
it and embarrass him.

"Gunn, would you like a coffee," Wesley asked alerting everyone to
his and Angel's arrival from the direction of the sewer access.

"Thanks."

Angel didn't care that his friends were watching as he walked up and
hugged Spike from behind, hands instantly reaching around to stroke
his stomach.  He kissed Spike on the back of the neck, then turned
his attention to everyone but didn't release Spike.  "So what's been
happening?"

"Um, well this woman phoned worried because her son has just grown a
snout.  I passed it on to Wes, that's about it."

"That's what I've been working on.  I'm going to phone her in a
minute.  I believe that the child is going to be proved a changeling
of some description.  Other than that I've been researching that
incantation for Mr. Nathanial."

Neither mentioned Buffy's phone call, that was Spike's business and
they didn't know if he wanted to tell Angel or not.

"Then Willow phoned, followed by Buffy," Spike dropped in casually.
Angel's hand froze on his stomach.  Cordelia and Wes tensed.

"Will?" Angel asked worriedly.

"She knows," Spike sighed.  "I told her."

"What happened?  Are you ok?  Christ, you shouldn't have had to go
through that alone," Angel was distraught.

"I don't think I did," Spike chanced shyly, looking at both Cordelia
and Wesley.

So Spike had accepted them too, they both smiled.

Angel smiled too. well, after desperation, confusion, curiousness and
finally shock had warred for dominance over his expression.

Gunn looked utterly confused, "What's with all the smiling?"

xxXxx

Spike had finished reading the paper and now he was bored.  Cordelia
was typing, Gunn was taking inventory of the weapons cabinet and
Angel was helping Wesley with something.

"What are you looking for," Cordelia asked not turning away from the
screen, as he rummaged around in the desk drawers behind her.

"Nothing really, just nosing," Spike answered her.

"Bored?"

"Bit," Spike shrugged.  He was more than a bit bored.

"Why don't you make a list of things you need to buy for the baby?"
She suggested, sliding a notepad and pen across to him.  "I know it's
early, but you can never be too prepared."

"Cheers."  That actually seemed like a good idea.  So what did he
need?  Clothes.  Good.  Ok, but what clothes exactly?  Come back to
that.  Nappies and cleaning bits to go with them.  Good.  What sort
of cleaning bits?  Come back to that.  What else, think,
think. "Cordelia, what do I need?"

Cordelia gave Spike a couple of ideas, but she didn't really know
anymore than he did.  Just because she was female didn't mean that
she knew stuff like that.  Cordelia lost interest in her work,
becoming more excited talking about buying things for the baby.  Her
excitement was rubbing off on Spike, he too couldn't wait to go and
shop for his baby now.

"What are you two doing?" Angel asked leaning over the counter where
Spike and Cordelia were scribbling away on the notepad.

"Angel, can we go shopping," Spike asked.

"Yeah, what for?"

"Baby stuff and you can treat me to something new if you like too,"
Spike grinned at him cheekily.  "Don't fancy keep wearing your sweats
all the time.  I'd like something that actually fits."

"Course, when do you want to go?"

"Now."

"Now?"

"Uh-huh," Spike flashed Angel the big puppy dog eyes, looking up at
him from under his dark lashes.

"Alright.  Go get ready then," Angel instructed him knowing that he
hadn't got his boots on and wouldn't go out without his duster.  He
liked making Spike happy and quite liked the idea of shopping for the
baby too.

"Cordelia is coming with us," Spike informed Angel as he started up
the stairs.

"I am?"  Cordelia beamed.  She was shocked that he'd invited her
along.  Not that she didn't want to go, she did.  Very much.  She
just hadn't expected to be even considered to be a part of this,
well, of anything really.

"You might know as little about me as babies, but I bet you can shop
like a good'un," he covered up his thoughtful act with a little dig.
It didn't matter, she knew exactly what he was doing.  Yes, she was
beginning to see exactly what Angel had meant about looking beneath
his words and looking instead at the feelings and thoughts behind
them.

xxXxx

They walked through the mall until they came to the baby shop.  None
of them were prepared for the sight that hit them.  There were aisles
upon aisles of products.  Angel flushed paler if that were any
possible, just looking at all of the stuff seemed rather daunting.
Even Cordelia thought for a second that she might be out of her
league.

"Let's go," Cordelia took control heading for the shopping carts.
Angel and Spike were happy to let her lead.  "Angel, you can push,"
she rolled the cart towards him.

The first aisle contained, according to the sign swinging high above
them, `essentials'.  There were diapers of various sizes, changing
mats, baby wipes and other cleaning products, baby bath, baby soap,
baby powder, baby shampoo, baby lotion, cotton wool balls, cotton
wool pleats, cotton wool pads, cotton buds, baby bath towels,
sponges, a whole range of bottles, teats, sterilisers.it just went on
and on.

As they stood looking up at the various products a shop assistant
headed for them, a gleam in her eye and huge grin plastered across
her face as she spotted her `clueless' targets, hoping to make a big
sale.  What she hadn't bargained for was their secret weapon, their
professional shopper.

"Can I help you?" She asked kindly.  They could almost see the $$'s
rolling in her eyes.

 "Yes we're buying for a new baby, but we don't really know what we
need," Cordelia replied politely.

The assistant smiled wider.  So they'd made the mistake of admitting
that they didn't know what they needed, she'd be able to load them up
with loads of products.

Time for the shopper in Cordelia to be un-leased, "we'd like the
basics.but the best of the basics and by that I don't mean the most
expensive, I mean the best for health, safety, durability.  Anything
that we do not use or are not satisfied with I will be bringing back
for a full refund.  I take it you have a loyalty scheme, a store card
perhaps?  I think we might consider signing up if we're pleased with
our shopping trip today, and of course the more we enjoy ourselves
and are pleased with the level of service and the quality of products
we'll be coming back again, and again.  It would be lovely to be able
to recommend you to our friends to shop here too.  My friend here,
she nodded towards Angel, always likes to tip generously for
professional service.  Ok so he didn't, but Cordelia knew that she
was going to make a huge saving for them now, singling out what they
really needed.  What ever amount Angel tipped, he would still be
getting off lightly.

The assistant was very professional.  She selected the best and most
popular products for them, pointing out why this product was better
than that, why this one wasn't good as some babies had allergies to
the ingredients or materials, why this product was a waste of money
and would never be used, why this baby monitor was better value in
the long run because it was rechargeable and why babysuits were
better than these fancy clothes because babies were incredibly
wriggly and difficult to dress plus they tended to leak a lot and
needed their clothes changed frequently.  She had waited patiently as
they selected the patterns, pictures and colours that they wanted
where applicable and while they'd awwd over the tiny clothes.   They
brought more clothes and toys than they needed, but that was down to
them enjoying themselves and not the assistant forcing things on
them.  Angel wasn't going to mind tipping her at all for her help.
She was giving them loads of advice and honest information.  There's
no way they would have managed so well on their own.

Angel was surprised that they hadn't actually had to buy that much
stuff, but then again the assistant had told them not to go too mad,
saying that they baby would grow quickly and if they bought too many
things, they might not get used.  Better to wait and buy things as
the baby grew, ran out of stuff or progressed to the next
developmental level.

They'd bought some feeding bottles, not knowing what was going to
happen with regard to feeding.  Would Spike perhaps start to develop
breasts and produce milk?  It seemed logical that he would but if so
surely they would have started to form by now?  That was something
they'd have to ask the doctor about when they next saw him.  Angel
had tried to imagine Spike with breasts, he realised he'd obviously
been starring when Spike folded his arms across his chest and looked.
put out?

Spike wasn't sure that he'd wanted a crib at first.  He'd planned on
having the baby in their bed.  The assistant recommended that he buy
one anyway as the baby would need somewhere safe and secure for naps
and an un-supervised adult bed wasn't the place for that.  She also
pointed out that once the baby was born and they realised what work
they had in store for them, that they might like some time alone and
not want the baby sharing their bed.

It was something the assistant had said when they were looking at the
prams, about walks in the park actually, that suddenly made both
Angel and Spike realised that they would never be able to take their
baby out in the daylight.  Angel and Spike cuddled up to one another,
feeling each others sadness, both offering and taking comfort.  The
assistant had suggested that they test the pram to make sure it
wasn't too heavy and to make sure that they could work all of the
catches and bits that raised the front, the back, lifted the hood,
swivelled the seat.bloody hell it had more gadgets than a car!

"Well go on then," Spike said to Cordelia.

"What?  Don't you want to test it?" She asked back confused.  Angel
knew where Spike was going with this and felt a lump rise in his
throat and hugged him closer still.

"You'll be the one using it," Spike said sadly.  Three things sunk in
successively with Cordelia, first that the vampires were hurting
about something.  Secondly she realised that they couldn't go out in
the daylight with the pram, and certainly wouldn't consider taking
the baby out at night in it. Then finally that she was going to be
allowed to be a part of their baby's life, and that would trust her
with their child.

"Well hurry up woman," Spike covered sharply, but his smile said all
that his tone didn't.  His quick words halted the sad/happy tears
that had welled up in her eyes.

"Give it here then," she said rolling her eyes.  She was getting used
to the way that he liked to play things, he could be thoughtful and
deep but you weren't supposed to comment on it or make out that you'd
noticed.  Well except for Angel, Spike seemed to have different rules
where Angel was concerned.

"There you go Auntie Cordy," he let go of the pram, and gave her the
most honest, yet cheeky grin that she'd ever seen on his face
before.  Maybe she didn't know how he liked to play things.

"Auntie?  Really?"  She couldn't even find the words to say how happy
she was.  The tears were back and they were falling now.

 "Of course, now hurry up and test the bloody thing before the baby's
born!"

"Thank you Will," Angel whispered the words in his ear.

"Well." Spike shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal, and relaxed into
Angel's hold.

"I love you," Angel kissed his neck as they watched Cordelia march
happily, proudly down the aisle pushing the pram.

xxXxx

Finished choosing all of their purchases, Angel packed and paid while
Cordelia organised delivery of the larger purchased, signed them up
for a store card and joined the loyalty scheme.  Spike was sent by
Angel to sit on a chair and watch.  He thought Spike had been on his
feet for too long.

Shopping in the baby store had taken ages, shopping for Spike had
taken minutes.  He went into the first store that took his fancy,
selected some T-shirts, a couple pairs of sweat pants and a couple
pairs of larger jeans.  That was his shopping finished.  Angel had
offered to buy him some other bits and pieces too, but Spike was
happy with what he'd chosen.

xxXxx

The next few weeks practically flew by.  Spike was getting much
bigger now and although he wasn't as tired anymore, he could still
easily fall asleep anywhere.

The little AI family had all settled down nicely together and the way
they acted around one another showed that they all cared for each
other.  It was as if Spike had been there all along.  Gunn had
accepted him when he saw how the others were getting on with him, and
saw the `hidden' Spike that they others had already begun to realise
was there beneath the surface. The clincher had been when Spike had
referred to him as Uncle Gunn.  Wesley too had been pleased to be
given the position of Uncle Wes.  He'd flushed red, and stated
happily, "Oh I don't know what to say," clearly delighted.

Although Spike wanted the crib in their room, a room had been set
aside as a nursery in which to store the baby's clothes, toys and
other things.  Also the crib was small enough that it could easily be
moved from one room to the other when it suited.  They'd chosen the
suit next to theirs and had plans to knock the wall through partway
to turn both suites into adjoining rooms.

Spike and Angel had only just been to their 20 week appointment.
Spike's bloods from last time were fine.  His check-up went well and
the baby was growing just as it should be.  They asked the doctor
about feeding the baby, and he said that he honestly didn't know, but
that if Spike couldn't feed the baby himself, formula would be just
fine.  The doctor had also told them that their baby was now big
enough that it would be able to hear noises from the outside world
and that Spike should soon be able to feel the baby moving.

xxXxx

"ANGEL!!!  ANGEL!!!" Spike shouted from their suite causing Angel to
practically fly up the stairs in a panic, closely followed by the
others.

"WHAT?" Angel cried, throwing the door open with such force that he
almost wrenched it off of its hinges.

"It moved!" Spike informed him excitedly.

"Fuck, Will, don't ever do that to me again!" Angel sighed in relief
as he grabbed Spike to him, one hand around the back of his neck
pulling him protectively against his chest as he rained kisses down
on him, his other hand holding Spike's stomach.  Spike realised that
Angel was shaking badly.

"I'm ok.  We're ok," Spike hushed reassuring him, stroking down his
back calmingly, while the others now watched on from the doorway.
Angel clung to him a while longer, reassuring himself that Spike was
alright.  Finally he spoke, "So our baby moved then?"

"Yeah," Spike smiled at him, "stopped now though."

"I'll be down in a minute," Angel turned to the others and, panic
over, they went downstairs leaving the pair alone.

Angel and Spike moved to the bed and lay down.  Angel waited with his
hand on Spike's stomach for a while, but nothing happened.

"You definitely felt something?" Angel questioned him eventually.

"Yeah.  It was weird, felt like.like fluttering or like bubbles
popping or something."

Angel sighed and moved so that he was laying head down looking at
Spike's belly.  "Hello baby," he greeted the bump, then pressed his
lips against his lover's stomach and said deeply into the skin, "you
in there?"

"There Angel, did you feel that," Spike exclaimed excitedly.

Angel shook his head no.

"Do it again, do it again," he encouraged.

"Hello," Angel said deeply into the skin again and sure enough felt a
tiny tremor against his hand resting on the bump.

"Wow," Angel grinned goofily at Spike.  "Hello baby," he tried this
time and felt the same faint vibrations.

"The baby can hear me," Angel told Spike excitedly and Spike nodded
that yes, it could.

"I'm your daddddd," he said into the skin this time and received
another tiny movement.

"Hey Will look, if you watch carefully you can just make out your
skin twitching."  Spike looked, Angel was right.  When the baby moved
you could see ever so slight rippling waves move across his stomach.

I think the shows over Spike said after Angel had tried a few more
times to get the baby to move.

"Never mind," Angel sighed happily, leaning down to lay his ear
gently against Spike's stomach to listen to the baby's heartbeat.  He
loved doing that.and he loved it when Spike petted him like that,
running his fingers through his hair as he did it.  It always relaxed
both of them.

Spike's fingers gradually worked slower and slower until they
stopped.  Angel knew that he'd fallen asleep.  Carefully extracting
himself Angel covered Spike up and left him asleep while he went back
to work.

xxXxx

The phone rang with an internal ring waking Spike up.

"Uh Yeah," he said sleepily into the receiver, not entirely sure
where he was for a second.

"We're about to be invaded," Cordelia said flatly, no panic evident
in her voice.

"A vision?" Spike woke up fully, alert and ready.  "Angel's not up
here."

"No he went out with Gunn and as for the invasion, I meant Buffy and
Co, heading this way now.  I can see them out the front."

"Cordelia hi," Spike heard Willow's voice coming through the phone
before she hung up.

"Shit," Spike cursed hanging up the phone.

 "Hey fangless come down and say hello," Xander's voice floated up
the stairs.

xxXxx

As Spike walked down the stairs, he could see all of his `friends'
standing around in the lobby, Xander, Anya, Willow, Tara, Dawn,
Giles, Buffy, Cordelia and Wes.  The AI team and the Sunnydale crew
were all making introductions.  Spike wished Angel were with him
right now.

Spike suddenly found himself in the spotlight as everyone zeroed in
on him, their hands and voices everywhere surrounding and suffocating
him.  It was as if someone had shouted `bundle' and they'd all dived
on him.

"Spike you're huge," Anya said, instantly running her hand across
Spike's stomach.

"Yeah congratulations," Xander said patting Spike's bump.  "Wouldn't
have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes."

"Look at you!" Dawn said excitedly and rubbed his belly.

"So do you know if you're having a boy or girl?" Willow asked,
holding his bump in both hands, she didn't wait for him to
answer.  "Tara, what do you think?" Willow grabbed one of Tara's
hands and placed it on Spike's belly.

"Oh, I don't know," Tara spoke shyly and pulled her hand back.

"I hope this is alright just dropping in on you," Giles said over the
heads of those crowding around Spike.

"Its fine, it's nice to see you all," Spike replied robotically as if
in shock.

"Hi Spike," Buffy spoke quietly.

"Buffy," Spike smiled weakly, inside he cringed.  This must have been
awful for her.  He felt like he should be apologising to her for
something even though he didn't want to, he wasn't sorry that he was
with Angel, nor that he was pregnant with Angel's child and yet he
felt as if he'd betrayed her.

"So, well, congratulations.  You must be very happy," there was no
malice in her tone.

"Thanks and I am," he smiled softly, genuinely.  He was ecstatic but
he didn't want to rub her nose in it.

"Alright, everyone back off, let Spike have some room," Cordelia
moved in breaking up the crowd.  Although her tone was cheery, she
was deadly serious.  Spike was able to escape as everyone bundled
back together chatting about everything and nothing.

Buffy continued to speak to him, acting normally as if this wasn't an
awkward situation at all, perhaps it wasn't anymore.  She'd accepted
that he and Angel were a couple and that they were building a life
together, a family.  It had been a shock of course, but now that it
had worn off she could be happy for them.

"Looking good.  So how are you feeling?"  She asked genuinely
interested and rubbed his belly.

"Not too bad," Spike offered politely.

"Mum said to pass on her congrats if I saw you, she'd like to have
come herself I'm sure but she's out of town at the moment.  We didn't
even know we were coming.  There we were just sitting and talking
about you, the next thing we're all in the car coming to see you
both."

"Cordy is gonna phone for some pizzas," Xander informed Buffy cutting
into their conversation, and draping himself over her shoulders.

"Xander!" Anya admonished him sharply causing him to release Buffy.

"Anya," he turned around and faced her with a huge `I wasn't doing
anything, you're the only girl for me' grin.

"Buffy," Giles called, enthusiastically beckoning her over to where
he was now chatting with Wesley.

By the time the pizza arrived everyone seemed to be getting on well
together.  They'd gathered around the couches, sharing stories and
chatting about Spike and Angel's baby.  No one seemed to notice that
Spike was unusually quiet.

Spike desperately wanted Angel to come home, he needed him so badly.
Anya said something to him and patted his stomach again.  He didn't
hear what she said.  "I think I'm gonna go turn in for the night,"
Spike stated standing up suddenly.

"But we've just got here, it's only early," Xander helpfully pointed
out.

"Yeah I know but I'm really tired, hope you don't mind," Spike made a
convincing show of yawning.  "It's been nice to see you all
though..and um I doubt Angel will be long."

Spike headed off up the stairs before they could all start grabbing
at him and petting him again.

Sure enough, around 15 minutes later Angel and Gunn returned.  Angel
was surprised to see everyone.  He wanted to know where Spike was and
Cordelia told him that Spike had said he was tired and had gone up to
bed.  She said it was probably all the excitement as he was acting a
little spaced and weird.  That didn't sound right to Angel, didn't
sound like Spike.  Gunn homed in on the pizza.  Angel said hello to
everyone then quickly excused himself, promising that he'd be back
down for a proper chat soon.  He just wanted to check on Spike first.

xxXxx

Angel entered the suite and toed off his shoes.  He didn't find Spike
in bed.  He could hear the shower running and so headed into the
bathroom to see what he was up to.  He found Spike standing with his
back to the door, arms folded against the wall tiles, cradling his
head and shoulders shaking as the shower rained down on him whilst he
sobbed his heart out.

"Oh Will," Angel soothed climbing in behind him, turning him to take
him into his arms and comfort him, uncaring that he was still fully
clothed.  "What's wrong?"

Spike clung to him like a lifeline, "I wanted you."

"I'm here now," Angel hushed holding him tightly.  "What's wrong?" he
asked again.

"I, I don't know," Spike sniffed

"You must have some idea," Angel still cradled Spike as he reached
over his head and turned the shower off.

"I really don't know," Spike rubbed his head into Angel's
chest, "they all kept touching me and I didn't like it.  They
wouldn't leave me alone and I just wanted it to stop.  I couldn't say
anything, could I?  I've been under here for ages and it won't wash
off.  I can still feel them all touching me, rubbing, stroking."
Spike's tone switched to angry, "why is it that when you're pregnant
everyone suddenly thinks that they've got the right to molest you?"

Spike didn't know why their touches had made him so uneasy or upset
him.  He thought that it was partly that they were able to get so
close to something that he wanted to protect, not that they would
have hurt him or the baby, but it still felt threatening.  Part of it
was that he felt violated, not one of them had asked if it was
alright to have a touch.  Cordelia had touched his bump once before,
but she'd asked and that hadn't been a problem for him, he'd still
felt if he was the one in charge, the one in control.  Mostly it just
felt wrong to have anyone other than Angel touching him in that way,
in an intimate and familiar way.  Maybe it was just his hormones
playing up.  It was mostly likely a combination of all of those
factors.

"I know what you need," Angel whispered and released Spike.  Spike
tried to cling to him again, but Angel stopped him, "wait," he
soothed, stepping back and peeling off his soaking wet clothes and
letting them fall behind him in the tub.

Angel moved back in on Spike, absorbing the smaller man with his own
larger frame.  Angel kissed Spike deep and slow, exploring his mouth
gently with his tongue and encouraging Spike's to join in.  As they
kissed, Angel smothered Spike, covering every available inch of skin
with his own, pressing up against him, stroking, rubbing, re-claiming
it all back for himself and wiping away all traces of any other's
touch.  Angel felt Spike relaxing against him with each caress.

"Drink Will, take me inside you," Angel breathed, guiding Spike's
head gently to his chest.  As Angel felt Spike's fangs pierce his
pectoral he threw his head back in ecstasy, "Oh yeah Willllll," he
hissed clutching Spike's head to his chest.

As Spike drank, Angel took one of his small hands and brought it to
his cock.  He encouraged Spike to masturbate him, covering his small
hand with his large one and setting a pace that brought him to and
over the edge quickly.  Angel moaned as he came, "So gooood Willl, so
fucking goooo.ah fuck, fuck, fuck, Gahh," he started a mantra as he
exploded over Spike's stomach.

Angel collapsed forward, his head resting on Spike's shoulder as he
gasped for un-needed breath.  With one hand he reached down to
Spike's stomach and set about massaging his spilt seed over and
around the bump, until it was absorbed into his skin.  Symbolically
Angel had re-marked him, reclaimed him.  He had made him new and
untouched.

Angel felt the loss as Spike finally retracted his fangs.  "You mine
again, all mine?" Angel asked.

"Yes," Spike sighed happily.

"Then make me yours, show me I'm yours.  I need you to." Angel
pleaded.

Spike heard what Angel didn't say.  Although he hadn't been a witness
to the molesting of Spike downstairs, just the knowledge that others
had been touching him had awakened a mean streak of jealously, and
strangely a sense of loss, as if a part of Spike had been taken away
and shared with others, not just kept private and special for him.

"On your knees, now," Spike hush-growled the order seductively at
Angel, who did as he was told instantly.  Positions for Spike taking
him were becoming limited as his bump grew in size, currently this
was their favourite.

On his knees, Angel had his legs spread as wide as the edges of the
bath would allow.  He curled his body forwards so that his shoulders
were almost touching the water warmed ceramic of the tub floor,
pushing his arse up into the air but keeping his back sloping
downwards so that Spike wouldn't bump into it when he would finally
sink deep inside him.

"Lovely view Peaches," Spike praised him softly, kneeling down behind
him and running his hands over Angel's body.

"Hmmmm," Spike murmured, wasting no time in playing around.  He knew
what he wanted and he knew what Angel needed.  He wasn't going to
make him wait, they'd take their time exploring each other's bodies
and working themselves into a frenzy later, now was about claiming,
not long lazy love making.

Spike licked a trail up Angel's sac then along his perineum.  He
flicked his tongue over and around Angel's hole, causing him to moan
and squirm.  "Hmmm, want my tongue in you baby?" Spike's voice was
silky smooth.  Angel pushed his arse back towards Spike with a
whimper.  That was his answer.

With long languid strokes, Spike licked forcefully across Angel's
opening a couple of times, before rolling his tongue into a point and
slowly, so slowly wriggled his way inside and driving Angel crazy.
In and out, in and out Spike tongue fucked Angel, flicking his tongue
wildly from side to side when it was buried in that convulsing tunnel.

Angel was panting hard, deep heaving breaths as Spike tortured him
with that wicked tongue.

"Gahh," Angel cried out as Spike concentrated his efforts on
stimulating his prostate.

"Don't come," Spike's words were illegible as he tried to speak with
his tongue half way embedded in Angel's arse, but Angel got the
message.

"Gahhh," again, followed by, "OooooHHooh," and "UhUhUh
and "Grrrrrraah."

Spike slowly withdrew his tongue.  Angel half sighed in relief
because he couldn't hold on any longer, half moaned with the loss.

"I'm gonna fuck you Angel, you want that huh?"  Spike loved to talk.

"Yeaaaah."

"Want my cock up your arse?"

"Yeahhh."

"Want it hard and fast?  Slow and deep?  Wanna feel me ramming into
you, tearing you apart?  Ah fuukkk," Spike ground out as his cock
pushed against Angel's entrance, then sank deep inside being
swallowed into Angel's bowels.  Angel worked his arse muscles,
pulling Spike in further, greedily, wanting to be filled by him.

"What do you want baby tell me," Spike whispered brokenly rocking
slowly against him.

"You like this?" Spike asked moving in such a way that his cock
dragged deliciously across Angel's sensitive nub.

"Yessss, fuck, yesss."

"And this?" Spike reached around and took hold of Angel's cock in a
loose fist and began stroking up and down his length, pulling the
foreskin back and forth over the sensitive head.  "You like me
stroking your big hard cock, tossing you off yeah?"

"Yessss."

"Fuck my fist Angel.  Yeah that's it, fuck it good."

"Tell me what you want Angel," Spike whispered again.

"More."

"Like this?  Tell me baby, tell me how you want it," Spike loved to
hear Angel talk too.

"Harder."

"Yeaahh," Spike praised him.  "Can you feel my cock in you?  You like
having my cock right up your arse don't you?  Tell me Angel, tell me."

"Yesssss Gahhh,"

"Don't come," Spike instructed Angel, he knew what the `Gahh' noise
meant.

Angel groaned in frustration, "Need toooo,"

"I'll let you come baby, you know I will.  I'm gonna make you come so
fucking hard.  So. Fucking. Hard." Spike ground out the words, so
close himself.  Angel whimpered.

"You wanna be mine?"

"Yesss."

"When you come I wanna hear you scream.  I want everyone here to hear
you scream my fucking name Angel."

"ooooohhh."

"You wanna come?"

"Yessss," Angel was dying with need, thrusting desperately into
Spike's clenched fist and forcing himself back to impale himself on
Spike's cock.

"You gonna scream?"

"Yesss.  Fuck. Oh. Fuck, Gahh."

"Angel come for me baby.  Scream my name, scream this fucking place
down."

"WIIILLLLLLLIAMMMMM!!!!" Angel roared his name as Spike pounded into
his arse deliberately and expertly hitting `that' spot each and every
time whilst furiously fisting his cock, making him come hard, so
hard, just like he'd promised.  Angel spilled over Spike's hand,
thick creamy globs of cum forcing their way violently out through the
tiny slit of his cock head.

"Fuck yeah," Spike growled as Angel's channel clenched and pulsed
around his cock, tearing his orgasm from him as he flooded Angel's
bowels with his spunk.

Spent, Spike sat back on his heels so as not to crush the bump,
breathing hard.

Angel let himself fall forwards, exhausted.  He jumped a little as he
felt a couple of Spike's fingers invade his hole again.  "Shh easy
baby," Spike soothed him.  He withdrew his fingers sticky with his
own juices.

"Angel, get up," he barely whispered.  Angel pulled himself up and
turned to face Spike.  Spike eyes were full of so much love as he
raised his slick fingers to his lover's lips.  Angel held Spike's
gaze as he gently sucked the digits into his mouth and moaned softly
at the taste.  "You mine again Angel?  All mine, only mine?" Spike
spoke so, so softly.  He didn't wait for an answer, knew what it
would be, as he withdrew his fingers and moved in to kiss Angel
reverently, sacredly.

"Yeah," Angel answered him breathily anyway and rested his forehead
against Spike's.

"So," Angel said after a time, "ready to go back downstairs now?"

"Yeah, I think so," Spike grinned.

Angel helped Spike up, flicked on the shower again and let it rain
down over the pair of them as they simply kissed and held each other,
just enjoying the closeness of being together.

Angel flicked off the shower. "Come on then," he took Spike's hand as
he stepped out of the shower.

xxXxx

Downstairs with all of his friends again Spike enjoyed himself this
time, joining in the conversations and getting in on the food.  He
felt safe, sat between Angel's open legs, back leaning against his
Sire's chest with Angel's hands wrapped protectively around him,
resting on their bump.  Only once did someone try to pat Spike's
stomach again, Xander, and Angel had gently caught his wrist and
given a quick shake of his head with a smile.  He didn't need to
speak, hadn't been rude or threatening, but he knew the message had
been received by all.

xxXxx

All was well at their twenty four week check up.  The baby was
growing as it should have been and Spike was growing too and he
seemed to be much less tired that he had been previously.  Spike took
advantage of this time, knowing that he'd probably revert back to
being continually exhausted soon enough, to decorate the nursery and
organise a birthing room.  The whole AI team were involved in
preparing both rooms.

Angel had thought it would be a good idea to set one room aside for
the birth rather than using their own suite.  His thoughts were that
it didn't matter then how messy the room might get, it wouldn't have
to be cleaned up instantly after the birth.  They could just shut the
door to the birthing room, go back to their clean room and leave the
clearing up for another more convenient time.

The whole team worked hard to make sure that the previously unused
room was clean from top to bottom.  A space was set aside where the
birthing pool would eventually go, making sure that it was close to a
water source so that it could be filled.  A cupboard was brought in
and stocked with towels, blankets, diapers, a couple of babysuits and
anything else that they thought might be useful to have on hand
rather than have to go hunting things down at a less convenient time.

A long large table had been brought in so that Dr. Brady would be
able to put out any instruments that he might bring with him. A
similar table sat beside it with a baby mat on top for the baby to
lie on whilst the doctor checked it over.  A few chairs were brought
in and Cordelia brought over a huge bean bag that she'd had at home.
There was already a bed in the room, but they decided not to make it
up yet.  Better to leave it until nearer the end to ensure that the
sheets were clean and fresh.  Other than those few pieces of
furniture everything else was removed to leave a large open space.

The nursery took a lot more time and work to prepare.  Angel and
Spike chose the suite next to their own as they had previously
decided.

Before any decorating was done, Gunn and Angel worked to knock
through the adjoining wall to create an archway between the two
rooms.  Spike stayed well out of the way as they worked because every
time either Angel or Gunn pounded the wall, it would scare the baby
and cause it to jump and roll about in Spike's stomach.  Once
finished, Angel and Gunn removed all of the unwanted furniture from
the room and dumped it in another one.  Finally they stripped the
carpet from the suite.  The entire job took three days given that
they had to abandon work whenever they got called out.

xxXxx

Whilst Angel and Gunn went out to choose a carpet, Cordelia and Spike
painted the room a lovely sunshine yellow colour.  Then they set
about painting a set of drawers, two freestanding cupboards, a set of
shelves and a huge wooden box which would be used to store toys, all
in bold bright primary colours while the walls dried.

As Cordelia and Spike worked, Wesley tried to assemble the changing
unit.  He had all of the pieces laid out on the floor in Angel and
Spike's suite and could be frequently heard cursing loudly about
the `bloody stupid thing' when it seemed that none of the pieces went
where they were supposed to according to the `fucking idiotic diagram
drawn by blind monkeys'.

Angel and Gunn had a surprise for Spike when they came back from the
carpet store.  They'd found a second hand rocking chair in the store
next door and had bought it to go in the nursery.  Spike set about
painting that instantly too.

A call had come in which had taken Angel away from helping and left
him working in his office for a couple of hours.  While the humans
took a break to eat, Spike continued working saying that he wasn't
hungry.  He finished painting the rocking chair and then moved onto
his next job.  He sat on the floor in his and Angel's room, much like
Wes had done earlier with the changing unit, only he was surrounded
by sections of the crib.  It turned out that it wasn't too difficult
to assemble as it had relatively few pieces.

As Spike went to unwrap the crib mattress so that it could have a
proper airing, he suddenly felt dizzy and faint.  His vision became
blurry and his ears started to ring loudly blocking out any other
sounds.  Experience told him that he wouldn't make it to the bed, so
instead he lowered himself to the floor and lay down so that he
wouldn't fall and hurt the baby. Spike could sort of hear Wesley's
voice calling his name but it sounded very far away and so he ignored
it and let the darkness take him

Spike's hearing came rushing back in one big blast as he tasted
Angel's blood flowing down his throat and filling his belly.

He opened his eyes and realised that his vision was perfect too as he
was met with Angel's worried expression, that faded into the `You are
in so much trouble face'.

"What?" Spike asked defensively around Angel's wrist pressed to his
mouth.

"You fainted," Angel stated.  "You can't go skipping meals.  What if
you'd fallen and hurt yourself or the baby?"

"I," Spike began, ready to defend himself as he licked at Angel's
wrist to signal that he'd taken enough.

"I know what you did, Wes saw you go down.  You were lucky that you
had time to think to lie down."  Angel's angry tone, brought on by
worry, changed to one of concern.  "Are you alright?"

"Uh-huh.  I'm sorry," Spike knew he'd frightened Angel.  "I just
wanted to get everything ready and I."

"I know what you wanted," Angel soothed him as he helped him to sit
up.  "But you must look after yourself and our baby ok?"

"Ok," Spike confirmed and rubbed his head into Angel's chest.  "I'm
sorry."

"I know," Angel kissed the top of his head and hugged him close.

xxXxx

Angel had banned Spike from working anymore yesterday, the day of his
fainting.  Today wasn't much better.  Spike could only sit and watch
as Gunn, Wesley and Angel fitted the new carpet, put up the painted
shelves and brought in the now dry things that he and Cordelia had
painted.

Angel could see that Spike was itching to do something and so he let
him sort out the things that they'd bought in the baby store and put
them away.  Spike enjoyed himself folding all of the tiny clothes and
putting them neatly in the drawers.  He filled one cupboard with
towels and blankets.  He stocked the changing unit with all of the
diapers and bottom cleaning equipment.  Angel made him eat before he
was allowed back in to stock the second cupboard with all of the baby
care products, load up the toy box and put the soft toys up on the
shelves.

Cordelia appeared with some glow in the dark plastic stars and was
careful not to get in everyone's way as she continually went up and
down the step ladder sticking them to the newly painted pale blue
ceiling.  Spike was allowed to help her put the animal and teddy bear
transfers on the wall and cupboards.  They'd had clown transfers too,
but Wesley had a `scare-thing' about clowns so they decided not to
use them.  Finally with the vampires safely out of the way Cordelia
pulled down the dull black out drapes and put up the new baby teddy
bear curtains that had a blackout backing on them.

The room was finally finished, and it was beautiful.

xxXxx

Spike and Angel followed the yellow line, as always, down to Dr. Sam
Brady's room.  This time for their twenty eight week check up.  Angel
knocked and opened the door allowing Spike to go in ahead of him.

"Hi Spike, Angel," Sam greeted them

"Sam," greeted Angel as he sat down.

"Doc," nodded Spike, taking up a seat beside Angel.

"So any worries?" Sam asked as he carried out his usual checks on
Spike.

"Actually yeah, I'm, well I'm.here look," Spike said pulling his T-
shirt up higher to reveal very slightly swollen pectorals.  "Is this
normal?"

"Can I?" Sam asked then began to examine the swollen flesh.  "Hmm, it
looks as if you will be able to breast feed your baby after all, if
you want to that is."

"I'm growing breasts?" Spike said in shock, closing his eyes and
letting his head fall back against the examination couch.  As much as
he wanted the best for his baby, and as much as he would like to
feed, he didn't fancy growing full female looking breasts.

"I can't be one hundred percent sure, but I think this might be all
you're going to get, maybe a tiny bit bigger, I don't know.  You see
a human female's breast would have started to swell almost from the
beginning of pregnancy.  The fact that yours are only starting to
show now could mean that they won't grow much larger, but be assured
whatever you end up with will be sufficient to feed your baby, your
body chemistry will see to that.  As for how long you'll be able to
breastfeed, again I can't say.  I'm not sure how long it will take
for your body to revert back to its full masculine form.  You might
be able to feed for as long as you like, you might only have days
before having to resort to bottle feeding.  I'm sorry that I can't be
any more precise, but as you know you're a special case," Sam gave
his opinion.

Spike hoped that Sam was right, he would be able to feed their baby,
but he wouldn't grow substantial breasts.  At the moment they still
looked masculine, even if there were reminiscent of a slightly
overweight male.

"All done," Sam informed Spike when he'd finished examining
him.  "Have a seat."

"Oooh," Spike stopped still for a moment as the baby decided to make
a full bodied roll.  When the baby had first started moving it had
felt like fluttering, as Spike got bigger the movements became more
pronounced, but now more often that not the movements would stop him
in his tracks.

"Moving?" Angel asked him, supporting him and putting a hand onto his
stomach.  He loved to feel his baby moving around.  He also loved to
watch his baby moving, he could spend ages starring at Spike's
stomach watching it undulate and ripple as their baby squirmed about
below the surface.

"Yeah," Spike smiled, took a couple more steps and sat down.

"Is there anything that either of you want to talk about?" Sam asked
both Spike and Angel as he always did after completing the physical
check up.

"Other than the." Spike indicated towards his chest, "no, nothing."

"Sam nodded acknowledging Spike, then moved on to the topic that he
wanted to discuss.  "Right, the date of delivery is getting closer
and I'd like for you to both start thinking about the birth.  I
usually suggest to patients that they write out a birth plan.
Although I pretty much know what you want already I still think it's
worth doing.  There might be things that you hadn't thought of and
also I think it'll be beneficial and get you thinking about what's
really going to happen.  It will make you feel more prepared and in
control.

"Now, a birth plan is a list of all of the things that you would
ideally like to happen during the birth and those things that you
would prefer didn't happen.  Unless there is some sort of imminent
danger to either you or your baby, I will follow your wishes exactly
to the word, but I'm sure you will understand that I have to consider
your safety over your wishes if it should come to that."

Spike and Angel both nodded to show that they wouldn't have expected
anything else.  If they had wanted to do it all their own way without
a thought towards safety then they wouldn't have bothered to seek
medical advice in the first place.

"I have this leaflet," Sam handed said leaflet to Angel, "that lists
various things that you might want to consider, it has a sample plan
at the back and a pre-printed form with tick boxes if you want to use
that rather than writing one out from scratch.  I suggest that you
both have a look through it and decide what you'd like to do, then
bring it along with you next time and we'll discuss it fully to make
sure that I know exactly what you want."

"Ok," Angel stated.

"I think the leaflet explains everything satisfactorily, but if you
have any problems or questions, as always, just phone me," Sam
offered.  "Now the other thing I want you to think about is preparing
yourself physically for the birth, by this I mean doing pelvic floor
exercises to strengthen the muscles that you'll need to use during
delivery.  I'd also suggest some stretching exercises to make the
birth canal flexible and supple, Angel you can help Spike with this.
Both of these exercise plans will help to make the birth quicker and
less painful and minimise the need for medical intervention or
tearing."

Spike was utterly mortified when Angel without thinking vouched for
the strength and suppleness of Spike's anal muscles.  Angel, suddenly
realising what he'd said, accepted the proffered pelvic exercise
sheet with an embarrassed smile.

Their check up over, Angel and Spike went back home and decided to
read through the `designing a birth plan' leaflet and decide what
they wanted to do whilst they drank dinner together.

~Part: 4~

"Pain relief," Angel read from the leaflet.  "Well we know what we're
doing about that, so next is induction.  That means um, having your
membranes, the waters, broken to set off or speed up delivery.  Will,
what do you think about being induced?"

"Unless out baby's life is in danger, then no.  I want the baby to
decide when it's going to be born."

"What if it means that you have to suffer a long labour?" Angel asked
thinking about Spike's comfort too.

"Then I'll just have to deal with it," Spike shrugged.

"Ok, next is caesarean.  If you need to have one you will right?  I'm
not losing you or our baby," Angel was adamant.  He wanted Spike to
have whatever he wanted, but he wasn't willing to put his Childe or
child in danger.

"If something happens where I have to, then yes I will," Spike
assured Angel.

"Good.  Episiotomy or tearing?"

"What?"

Angel flicked through the notes on that section, "It means that if
you have trouble delivering you can choose, or Sam might decide to
carry out, an episiotomy.  That means that Sam would have to
surgically cut your perineum, that's the um," Angel ran his finger
down the page searching, "bit of skin between your arsehole and
behind your balls, to make a bigger opening to allow the baby to pass
through, or you can risk tearing.  It does say that tearing is
usually the preferred method; it might not happen at all and if it
does you'll heal quicker from a tear.  What do you think Will?"

"Tear definitely.  I don't want to be `interfered' with," Spike was
adamant.  "Put that I don't want that under any circumstances.  The
baby will be alright either way, I don't care if I'm damaged, it's
not as if I'll have any trouble healing is it?  It's not as if it
would be the first time either," he mumbled.

"Ah, that kind of leads on to the next bit, internal examinations,"
Angel knew exactly how Spike felt about these, and so did Sam.  He'd
avoided doing any on Spike, relying instead on Sonicaid readings and
manipulation of Spike's stomach with his hands.

"No fucking way," Spike stated.

"It doesn't say it's optional," Angel told him, "it just asks how far
apart you want them.  Don't worry, well discuss it with Sam and see
what he says," Angel soothed.  He knew just what it would mean for
Spike to have anyone other than Angel touch him *there*.  Angel
doubted that he'd be able to do it either if he were in the same
situation, given what this really meant to them; even if it was going
to be carried out in a non sexual medical capacity.

"Alright," Spike hushed.

"What's next then?  Monitoring.  You don't want to be hooked up to
any machines," Angel wrote on the form without asking Spike, he knew
what he wanted.  "But a Sonicaid is alright yes?" Angel asked and
Spike nodded.

"Third stage management, um," Angel flicked through the leaflet
again, "ah, delivery of the placenta.  You are usually given a
syntometrine injection to help with contractions and deliver the
placenta rapidly, but it is your choice not to have this and let
nature take its course.  I'm guessing we'll go without right?" Angel
smiled lovingly at Spike.  He didn't bother to read out the pros and
cons regarding syntometrine usage knowing that Spike wouldn't want
the injection anyhow.

"Yeah, no drugs for anything, pain wise or medical," Spike confirmed.

"Other things to consider.  Cutting of the cord. Huh?  It can't mean
do we want it cut?"  Angel started to flick through the leaflet.

"I think it means what do we want done about cutting the cord?" Spike
corrected him.  "I want you to, if you want to that is."

"Course I do," Angel grinned and wrote that down on the form.

"Also under other things to consider, amount of labour partners,
eating and dinking during labour, positions and walking around during
labour, management of baby after birth including vitamin K
injections.  Right I think most of this speaks for itself, you'll eat
and drink if you want to I take it?  Sam knows that you want to
listen to your body and use whatever positions you want and be free
to move around.  Labour partners, well that's me, so it's just
management of the baby after birth which issss," Angel drew out the
word as he scanned the page, "do you want the baby handed to you
straight away, do you want to feed right away, and oh, if you feed
soon after the birth that helps with the delivery of the placenta."

"Handed to us and yeah, if I can I want to feed as soon as the baby
wants it. What's the vitamin K bit about?"

"Oh," Angel consulted the leaflet again.  "It says that new born
babies are usually given an injection of vitamin K at birth to
counteract a potential deficiency which could lead to problems with
blood clotting," Angel read the description.

Spike wanted to say that no one was going to start jabbing his baby
with needles but if this was important for the baby's health then it
would have to be done.  "What does it say, is it better to give or
not?"

"It says that there is a possibility that this practice *could* be
linked to childhood cancer, it also says that the vitamin is produced
abundantly and naturally in the colostrum, hang on," Angel again
flicked through the book, "colosrtum is, ah it's the first breast
milk, so if you feed you'll protect the baby anyway as well as
passing on immunities."

"Well you know I want to feed, so we'll opt out," Spike
decided.  "Are you alright with that?"

"Uh-huh," Angel nodded.  "Well that's all this leaflet says but it's
got a space to fill in anything else that you want to say.  Is there
anything else you can think of?"

"No.  Oh hang on, yeah.  Should we put about you getting into the
pool with me, you said you might want to right?"

"Yeah, as long as I'm not going to get in the way.  So I'll write
that in then?" Angel phrased it as a question, but wrote it in
anyway.  "That it?"

"I think so.  We can always add to it if we think of something
anyway.  So if that's done, how `bout we have a look at the pelvic
exercise sheet?" Spike raised one scarred eyebrow seductively.

"Do you think it would be worth me doing them too?" Angel grinned
back.  He'd glanced over the sheet with Spike and thought he'd like
to go for a bit of that too.  Well, the part that suggested a
perennial massage followed by gentle stretching of the `delivery
opening' as the sheet called it.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure we should both give it a go," Spike quirked his
brow again.

xxXxx

Thirty two weeks and everything was going well.  They'd discussed the
birth plan together and Sam was happy to comply with all of their
wishes.  He'd put Spike's mind a little at ease with regard to the
internal examinations, telling him that unless there was something
drastic happened he'd leave him alone, he did say however that he'd
have to hold and help deliver the baby though which would involve
touching him but wouldn't be invasive.  This was for the baby's
safety and so Spike, of course, agreed.  He didn't like it but it had
to be done, and besides it wouldn't take anything away from what he
and Angel shared.

After this appointment, Dr. Brady had told them that he wanted to see
them every two weeks now instead of every four as the birthing date
approached.

Angel had arranged hiring of the pool, it was perhaps a bit soon but
he'd paid the extra hire fees to have the pool for longer so that
they would be fully prepared in case Spike went into labour early.

xxXxx

"What are you doing?" Angel asked as he entered their suite to find a
naked Spike pacing manically around the room.

"What the fuck does it look like I'm doing?" Spike threw back at
him.  "I'm tired and I can't fucking sleep.  I've got a fucking cramp
in my leg, my back hurts, I'm huge and I'm fucking boiling hot.  I'm
a fucking vampire!  I'm not supposed to get fucking hot."  Spike
burst into tears, obviously overtired which was making him cranky.

"Come on," Angel soothed taking Spike into his arms and hugging him
as Spike sobbed and shuddered against him.  "Let's see what we can
do."  Angel had been waiting for this.  The book had warned him that
Spike was likely to become easily irritated, upset and emotional as
he drew closer to the delivery date.

Angel's first idea was for them to take a lukewarm shower together to
cool Spike down as he did actually feel hot to the touch.  Next Angel
took Spike to bed and set him in the recovery position, which was
currently how he'd been choosing to sleep as it was the most
comfortable position.  Angel spent ages massaging Spike's legs and
back for him, soothing away all of his pain and discomfort and
leading him to find restful sleep.  Spike was fine now, relaxed and
probably happily dreaming of bloodbaths.  The problem now was that
the more Angel had soothed Spike, the more worked up he'd become
himself.

He'd been out fighting then come home to find Spike semi-aggressive
and very naked.  They'd taken a shower together where he'd washed and
held his boy and then he'd spent around the last hour or so caressing
and massaging his Childe's body and listening to him moan
appreciatively as his body relaxed.  All of these things led to one
end, Angel was horny and very hard.  He had two choices.  One climb
into bed now and ignore his need or two go and sort himself out
first, then come to bed and cuddle up to his boy.

Angel was quiet as he slipped out of the bedroom and into the
bathroom, careful not to disturb Spike.  He left the door open a
fraction as he didn't want to risk closing it fully and have the
hinges squeak, the way they did, and wake Spike.

Angel stood with one arm bracing himself against the wall.  He spat
in his other hand before reaching down and taking a firm hold of his
cock.  Conjuring up an image of Spike, he worked his cock, sliding
his hand from the base to the tip, down again to squeeze his balls
then back up again.  Angel threw his head back enjoying the feel of
his hand, no Spike's mouth that's what he was imagining, sliding
easily up and down, up and down.  He fought to remain silent even as
his face ran though a whole multitude of ecstatic expressions.  As he
drew close Angel fisted his cock slow and hard and gently rocked his
hips back and forth to fuck his own hand, drawing out his pleasure.
A silent scream signalled his release as his seed spurted out against
the porcelain of the sink.

A slight noise drew Angel's attention to the door to where Spike was
now standing, tears streaming down his face.  He seemed frozen to the
spot, starring at Angel's now motionless hand, holding his slowly
dying cock.  As Spike's eyes rose to meet Angel's it seemed to set
him in motion and he vanished from sight.

"Will, what's wrong?" Angel called, grabbing a towel from the rack
and wiping himself down as he walked back into the bedroom.  The
suite door was wide open and Spike was nowhere to be seen.

"Will?" Angel leaned out of the door and shouted.  Heavily pregnant
he may be, but he could obviously move fast when he wanted too.
Angel quickly popped back inside, pulled on his trousers and set out
to find Spike.  He had no idea what was wrong with him.  They'd seen
each other jacking off hundreds of times so it couldn't be that.
Stopping to scent the air, Angel knew that Spike had gone up;
probably onto the roof and so that's where Angel went.  As he got
closer he could hear Spike's raw sobbing and their baby's heartbeat
and knew that he'd found him.

"Will?" Angel asked softly as he stepped out on to the roof and
caught sight of him.  Spike didn't turn to face him, continuing to
look out over the city, his naked feet and legs showing beneath his
duster which he'd obviously grabbed as he left their apartment, fake
cigarette held between nimble shaking fingers accompanied as ever by
audible gum chewing, even as he pretended to puff away at the plastic
replica.

"Will, what's wrong?" Angel moved up behind him and put his arms
around him.

"Christ I wish I could have a smoke," Spike tried to deflect the
conversation, whilst shrugging out of Angel's hold and moving away
from him.

"Is that what's wrong?  You're upset that you can't smoke?" Angel
suggested, not letting on that he was hurt by Spike's actions.

"No, what's wrong is that I'm pregnant and my..fuck I don't know what
to call you, it's not as if you're my husband is it?  Anyway, my.
*you* doesn't find me attractive anymore.  You think I'm ugly and fat
and not sexy and a lump and you don't want to touch me and you don't
want to fuck me and."

"Hey," Angel cut in breaking off Spike's babbling, "I never said any
of that."

"You didn't need to," Spike spat.  "You'd rather go tossing off on
your own than touch me or be with me," he accused.

"I, what?"  Angel was confused, "Spike you were asleep!" Angel said
incredulously when he realised what Spike was trying to say.  He
changed his tone and spoke more calmly, "So just because I gave
myself a hand that means I don't want you?  Idiot," Angel muttered
the last word.

"So I'm a fucking idiot too, great Angelus, just fucking great,"
Spike threw his arms up and sighed heavily as if he expected no more.

"Yes," Angel took hold of him firmly and held on even as Spike
struggled against him.  "Yes, I think you're an idiot.  How the fuck
else could you think that I don't think you're the most beautiful,
delicious, sexy being ever?  How can you think that I don't want to
touch you or make love to you?  I love you Will, always have, always
will," Angel assured him, moving in for a soft kiss now that Spike
was starting to relax in his arms.

 "Look, you were asleep and I needed a wank," Angel snorted at his
own choice of words, "you're always saying I'm a wanker."

"Think about it," Angel continued more conversationally, "I came home
and found you pacing around naked and looking good enough to eat,
next you were cuddled up against me in the shower, then in bed
moaning and groaning while I massaged you.  I was horny, hot all
because of you.  What else was I supposed to do?  You were asleep,
you needed to sleep.  I could hardly wake you up and ask for it could
I?"

"You don't think I'm ugly?" Spike asked in a small voice.

"No," Angel hushed with a sly grin, making sure that Spike could feel
his eyes `drinking in' his naked, aside from his duster, body.
Letting him know just how sexy he was. "But I do think that you're
overtired and emotional," Angel stated honestly.   "Come on in and
we'll go to bed yeah?"

"Yeah," Spike agreed, letting Angel lead him back inside and down to
their room.

"How come you woke up again so soon anyway?" Angel asked.

"Dunno," Spike shrugged, peeling off his duster and throwing it over
the back of the couch, "just you weren't there maybe?"  He then made
his way over to the bed and flopped down on it with a sigh.

Angel flicked off the light and joined Spike on the bed.  "I'm here
now," Angel soothed and lying on his back, pulled Spike to him, who
snuggled up against his chest.

Spike sighed contentedly and settled down for sleep.  Angel closed
his eyes too and started to doze, but something was tugging at his
brain, niggling away, something that he should remember or be
thinking about or.it suddenly came to him.  Spike had near enough
said that he didn't know what Angel was to him, complained that it
wasn't as if Angel was his husband or anything.  Did Spike perhaps
want to get married?  Angel cursed himself.  Of course that's what
Spike wanted, he was after all a Victorian boy at heart and here he
was pregnant and out of wedlock.  If Spike wanted to get married
Angel would do that for him.  He loved him and wanted to be with him
forever.  Why not go ahead and make it official?

xxXxx

"Will?" Angel hushed trying to wake him before he went downstairs for
work, "Will?"

"Yeah?" Spike replied sleepily.

"Wake up. I want to talk to you."

"I'm awake," Spike confirmed.

"Will, do you," Angel took a deep breath, "do you want to get
married?"

Spike pulled himself up onto his elbows and just looked levelly at
him.  "Is this because of what I said last night?" He spoke flatly.

Angel was confused, Spike was supposed to start gushing and say yes,
not question him. "Well."

"Thought so," Spike cut in.  "Angel, much as I wouldn't mind marrying
you, I wasn't asking you to.  I don't expect you to marry me just
because I'm pregnant."

"So you don't want to marry me?" Angel seemed upset.

"If that's what you want, we'll do that," Spike smiled at him.

"But it's not what you want?" Angel seemed even more down.

"I didn't say that love," Spike soothed, "I'd love to marry you, even
if it is a bit human!  But last night wasn't about me wanting to be
married, anyone can get married.  Unless there is true love behind it
though, it doesn't mean a thing."

"But I do love you," Angel insisted, "and I do want to marry you, and
not just because I think that's what you want.  I want it, I really
do.  Will, I love you."

"I know you do," Spike took Angel's face in his hands.  "Last night I
was just feeling...weird.  Hormones I guess, I just needed
something.."

" We could get matching tattoos, piercings, mystical brandings, we
could do a mating ritual, a binding, anything you want, it doesn't
have to be marriage," Angel cut in not letting Spike finish what he
wanted to say.

"First, you can't have tattoos when you're pregnant, something to do
with endorphins that your body releases, the same goes for piercings
and branding I'd imagine, and a mating ritual, nah I don't think so!
But if you would have let me finish, I was going to say that I needed
something true and from the heart.  I wanted to know that you were
with me because you wanted to be and not because you had to be.  You
gave me that."

Angel looked confused.

"You told me that you've always loved me and always will.  That's
what I needed.  I know that anyway, but.last night was strange, I
wasn't thinking straight.  I guess I just needed reminding.  Those
words are worth more than anything symbolic like a marriage, a
tattoo, a piercing or whatever," Spike looked deep into Angel's eyes
making sure that he understood.  "Although if you want to marry me I
wouldn't say no," Spike grinned, "but let's wait till after the baby
is born yeah?  We've got enough to be dealing with right now."

"Ok," Angel smiled genuinely, pleased and settled by Spike's
explanation, "But.."

"But what?"

"Wait, let me ask you properly."  Angel took a breath, looked at
Spike from under his dark lashes with a shy smile and
asked, "William, will you marry me?"

"I'd love to," Spike whispered and pulled Angel down for a deep kiss.

"I've got to go to work," Angel said slightly sadly as he finished
kissing Spike.

"Go on then," Spike whispered.  "I'll be down soon."

"Ok, see you then," Angel kissed him again then got up and walked to
the door.  "I love you," he said pausing at the door and looking back
at Spike, before going out and downstairs.

xxXxx

When Spike finally came down the stairs a long while later, Angel was
nowhere to be seen.

"Angel said he'd be back soon," Wesley told Spike, anticipating what
he was going to ask.

"Where did he go?" Spike asked taking in the fact that Gunn was still
here, trying to take a nap with his head resting on the table, which
meant that wherever Angel had gone, he'd either gone alone or with
Cordelia.and in daylight.

"I don't know, he said not to worry though," Wes assured him.  Spike
snorted, yeah easy for Wes to say.  "Want to read the paper?" Wes
held out the newspaper to Spike.  "Cordelia's running late this
morning, she said she'd be in soon.  Hello Angel Investigations," Wes
answered the phone politely.

"Cheers," Spike took the paper off of Wes and made himself
comfortable on the couch.

"Gunn, we're needed now," Wes stirred Gunn after hanging up the
phone.  Spike was instantly alert, was something wrong with Angel?

"Angel?" Gunn voiced what was going through Spike's head.

"No, another household infested with those bloody slug things," Wes
griped.  "We can handle those on our own.  Spike, can you take any
calls till Cordelia gets here?"

"Yeah sure," Spike sighed, getting up and making his way towards the
counter to sit behind it.  He knew he couldn't go out fighting
anymore, but he really missed the action.  "Take care," he called out
to their retreating backs.

xxXxx

Cordelia wasn't much longer and came bearing pastries and cakes.
Gunn and Wes returned together about 15 minutes after her
appearance.

"Hey guys," she greeted them, "everything alright?"

"Yeah, quick slice and dice," Gunn informed her, helping himself to a
muffin.

"Nothing to it," Wes agreed.  "Is Angel still not back?"  Wes was a
bit worried; Angel had been gone for close to three hours now.

"No.  Are you sure he didn't say where he was going?" Cordelia asked,
Spike having already told her that he didn't know where his Sire was.

"If I knew where he was I'd tell you," Wes answered her.  "Why don't
you try phoning him?"

"We did, but his phone is diverting to voice mail and I don't think
he knows how to pick up his messages."

"Why don't you text him?" Gunn offered. "He knows how to read those,
although I doubt he knows how to reply to them," he added.

"Ill do it," Spike said picking up the cell phone that Wes had put on
the counter, "How do I do it?"

Wes pressed a couple of buttons, "there, now type in your message
using the letters on the keys."

Spike rapidly thumbed out his message as Wes had told him, "now what?"

"Give it here, I'll send it," Wes quickly read the
message `WHhr33ETHFUCK2AbRE9YOU8' and sent it.

The office phone rang a minute or so later, "Angel Inve.Hi Angel,"
Cordelia answered.  "Uh-huh, uh-huh, ok bye."

"He's on his way home now.  He's in the sewers about three blocks
away." Cordelia quickly flicked her eyes to look down at Spike's feet
then suggested, "Why don't you go meet him Spike?"

"Ok," Spike said standing up.  "Shit," he cursed realising he was
still barefoot and instead headed towards the stairs to get his boots.

Cordelia watched until he disappeared and then seemed to spring into
action.  "Right if Spike comes back down you two delay him."

"Cordelia?" Wes questioned.

"Just do it.  Angel wants me to get him a new shirt and meet him by
the sewer entrance, whatever it is he doesn't want Spike to know."

"Is he hurt?" Gunn wanted to know.

"I don't know," Cordelia said worriedly heading off towards the main
kitchen where the clean washing was nearly always stacked on top of
the dryer.

xxXxx

"What happened to your other one?" Cordelia asked as she handed Angel
a new shirt.

"Where's Spike?" Angel checked first.

"Upstairs."

"I threw it away, got blood on it.and no I'm not hurt but he'll worry
ok," Angel spoke quickly.  "Thanks," he kissed Cordelia on the cheek
and rushed into the lobby just in time to see Spike heading down the
stairs, boots in his hand.

"What did you do, fly?" Spike quirked his eyebrow thinking how
quickly Angel had made it home.  Spike's face suddenly fell and he
narrowed his eyes at Angel, "Why do I smell your blood and," Spike
sniffed the air, "washing powder?"

"It's not what you think Will," Angel stated.

"And what would that be?" Spike threw back calmly, way too
calmly.  "I'm thinking two things and neither one is good."  Spike
currently had two ideas forming in his head, one involved Angel
cheating on him and having been involved in some sort of blood play
then coming home and changing his shirt hoping that Spike wouldn't
notice, the other was that Angel had been hurt.

"Are you hurt?" Spike asked, and although worried inside, he wasn't
going to let that show on his face until he knew what was happening.

"No.and I haven't been out cheating on you," Angel smiled knowing
what Spike was thinking.  Somehow Spike knew that he was telling the
truth.  Angel approached Spike who was still standing on the stairs
as the other three team members now looked on wondering what was
going on and hoping that they weren't going to have to suddenly
intervene in a fight.

Angel handed Spike a small box and leaned to whisper in his ear, "For
you, in case you need reminding again."  Spike knew what Angel was
talking about as he thought back to his own words last night.  "Open
it," Angel encouraged.

Spike opened the box to reveal a platinum ring.  It was beautiful.
The front was engraved with an elaborately entwined A and W, their
initials.  The surround had seven tiny red jewels set into the
platinum, although no, at second glance they weren't jewels.  They
looked like miniature red orbs.  Spike looked closer and saw that he
was still wrong, they were minute orbs but they weren't red, they
were clear but filled with a red liquid.

"I told you I didn't need anything symbolic," Spike hushed with a
smile, utterly thrilled with his gift anyway.

"I know, you said something." Angel tilted the ring so that Spike
could read the inscription inside the band.

"From the heart," as Spike read the words aloud, he realised the
absolute preciousness of his already wonderful gift.  Spike would
never doubt that Angel loved him from this day on.  Spike looked up
at Angel with an expression that he'd never seen before.  It was part
awe, part surprise, part disbelief.  To say that he was thoroughly
shocked would have been a grave understatement.  "Sire, Angel" he
squeaked before his legs gave out beneath him.

Angel caught him easily and helped him to sit on the stairs.

"Spike, are you alright?"  "Angel is he ok?" and "Shall I call the
doctor?" came in three separate voices as three worried figures
headed up the stairs towards them.

"He's fine," Angel assured them.

"How?" Spike managed to speak, fumbling madly to get the ring on his
finger.

"A syringe and a little bit of majik," Angel smiled at him.  "Here
let me," Angel took the ring off of Spike and slid it easily on to
his ring finger, symbolic of a wedding or engagement ring, a claim, a
promise for the future.

"Ah," Cordelia sighed happily.  "Are you getting married?"

"I asked Will this morning and he said yes." Angel confirmed. "This
is just a little gift until we can arrange something."

"Just a little gift?" Spike said incredulously.  How could Angel say
that *this* was just a little gift.  "I am never taking this off,"
Spike was adamant.  "This is gonna have to be my wedding ring."

"Let's see," said Wes and Spike held out his hand to show him.  "It's
lovely, what are the stones?"

"They're not stones," Angel answered Wes but his attention was fixed
on Spike as he starred deep into his blue eyes.  Spike reached out to
caress Angel's chest, over his heart, in such a sacred way that the
others felt as if they were intruding upon a very intimate moment.

"That's Angel's blood in those little orbs?" Gunn was very perceptive.

"From his heart," Spike spoke softly and with such reverence.

"Won't it go solid or something?" Cordelia asked.

"No," Angel answered.  "Its done majikally, it won't dry up and it
can't spill out."

"You pierced your heart to drain some blood?" Wes asked
incredulously.  "Isn't that dangerous?"

"Duh Wes, he's not going to risk his life when he's got Spike and a
baby to take care of," Cordelia butted in.  "Right?" She said less
certainly.

"It was metal, it's not dangerous," Angel assured them
truthfully. "Didn't hurt or anything," Angel lied.  He didn't want
Spike or his friends worrying about him.  It was only a tiny puncture
and yet it had hurt beyond belief and had bled quite a bit too, hence
the need for a new shirt.  It probably hadn't been as bad as it
looked given that, as with all liquids, once spilt and soaked in it
looked as if there was more liquid than there really was.  He'd known
that Spike would be sure to smell the blood on him, but he didn't
need him, any of them, seeing it.  That would have just set them all
off into a panic.

When Angel looked back at Spike he instantly knew that Spike knew he
was lying.  "Will?"  Spike dropped his eyes, wouldn't meet Angel's
gaze and deflected instead.  "I love it, its beautiful," his voice
was still heavily tainted with reverence.  When he looked back up at
Angel his eyes were full of nothing but pure love.  He'd hidden his
pain well.  He took Angel's face in his hands and kissed him.

Once he started he couldn't stop.  Spike slipped his tongue into
Angel's mouth and opened his mouth wider to deepen their kiss.  Angel
responded likewise and their kiss grew more passionate, more needy
and desperate as hands started to pull at each other and tangle in
hair.  Spike wanted to lose himself in Angel, and Angel was going to
let him.  Angel pulled himself up to kneel between Spike's open legs
and Spike didn't waste a second moving to pull him as close as his
bump would allow.

"Ew not on the stairs!" Cordelia complained.  They could almost feel
her roll her eyes as she turned and retreated.  Gunn and Wes had
taken the hint a moment earlier and were already rapidly descending
the stairs to make their exit.  They needn't have worried.  This kiss
wasn't a prelude to sex; sensual, but not sexual.  This kiss was a
thank you, and a quest for comfort from memories just invoked, a
burial of past pain.

Spike knew that Angel suspected something.  He wasn't surprised when
he felt a fang just resting against his tongue, asking permission to
look inside his blood and see what he needed to see.  Angel could
have just drunk then forced Spike to open his memories, as Spike Sire
he had that right, but he wouldn't do that to his boy.  Spike pressed
his tongue up against the sharp canine, permission given.  He knew
that Angel would never let this go anyway, and this was easier than
having to say the words aloud.

Angel lapped at the slow trickle of blood and waited for Spike to
open up his memories to him, in a sudden rush Angel saw it all, felt
it all.  Lived the memory through Spike's senses, for that moment he
became Spike.

Angel felt himself lifted out of a chair by that fucking Riley Finn,
then slammed violently against something.  It felt like a pillar
against his back.  He was overcome with fear, only strangely it
didn't seem as if it was for himself.  He was chipped and being
attacked by a human, shit he couldn't defend himself.  Then pain.
Pure unbelievable agony, radiating out from his chest.  He gasped and
clutched at the burning automatically.  He knew he'd been staked and
knew he was going to die.  A million images filled his mind.  He saw
himself as Angelus and as Angel, decades upon decades of memories
flashing past in an instant.  He felt the overwhelming sadness and
grief for an unborn baby that he would never know and that would
never get the chance to live.  Fucking hell, Spike had known then
that he was pregnant.  His displaced fear had been for the life of
his baby.

For a second there was utter disbelief, amazement.  He looked down
and saw the stake protruding from his chest.  He felt sick.  Why
hadn't he turned to dust?  Then pain again, sharp and blinding as the
stake was torn from his chest.  Riley was showing him that it wasn't
real.  Riley was walking away.  Laughter?  He was aware that he was
laughing a little hysterically and reined it in, turning it into
mocking.  Fucking hell! Jesus Fucking Christ!   Pain.  More pain.
White hot burning agony as he felt Riley's fingers imbedded in his
chest cavity, aggravating, tearing.  Shit I'm going to die this
time.  Then more gasping, clutching at the open wound as he was
released.  Need Sire, want Ang..

Spike pulled away from Angel.  He'd let him see enough.

Angel was aware that Spike was watching him, waiting for the
explosion.  Angel remained silent, holding all of his emotions in
check as he tried to process what he'd just witnessed.  He was a
mildly annoyed that Spike hadn't told him, but then again he must
have had his reasons.  He was hurting for his Childe, for all of the
pain, both physical and emotional, that he'd been through.  He was
angry at himself for not being there.  He was trying to cope with his
own feelings of loss and grief; the shock of almost witnessing the
death of his Childe and his unborn baby.  If Spike had died, he'd
never have even known he was going to be a father.  Angel couldn't
even put what he felt for Riley into words.  He'd hated him before
and now all he knew was that he had a seething, burning desire to
torture him to death.slowly.  Then he wanted to do it all over
again.  He wanted him to suffer all the agonies of the worst Hell
dimension.and then some.  He wanted to let Angelus out to play.

Angel could feel Spike's nervousness as he waited for Angel to say or
do something.  Shit, maybe Spike thought that he was going to be
blamed for something.  Angel would have to reassure him, only he
couldn't bring himself to say that it was all alright, that it didn't
matter.  Spike would see through the lie.

When Angel looked up at his Childe, Spike flinched.  His eyes burned
with a deep raging fire, tempered only with the love for his Childe.

Angel's voice was soft, comforting.  The words he spoke were anything
but, "If I ever see him.I'll kill him."

"I know," whispered Spike.

xxXxx

Their thirty four week check up went well.

Spike was having emotional outbursts more often.  He was restless and
irritable, impatient waiting for the birth, plus he felt heavy and
uncomfortable.  He was suffering with backache more than he'd done
during the rest of his pregnancy and he'd started to get cramp a
lot.  He was unbelievably tired, his ankles were swollen, his feet
hurt and all in all, Spike just couldn't wait for it to all be over.

Miraculously the gum and plastic cigarette had vanished.  When Spike
was agitated now, he could be seen to be fiddling with the ring that
Angel had given him as if drawing strength and comfort from it.
Spike had in fact told Angel that he didn't plan on taking up smoking
again, his reasoning was that it wouldn't be healthy for the baby,
their human baby.

xxXxx

Spike was having trouble sleeping again, which meant that Angel was
also having trouble because Spike was wriggling around trying to get
comfortable beside him.

Angel had a bigger problem than not being able to sleep though.
Spike was wiggling back against him in such a way that it was
exciting his cock and making him hard.

Finally Spike seemed to settle and still.

Angel tried to ignore his hard-on, but the more he tried, the worse
it got.  He didn't want to disturb Spike but he really needed to do
something about this.  He didn't dare sneak off and help himself, not
after it had upset Spike last time.

"Will?"

"Hmm?" Spike sighed back tiredly.  Angel didn't speak but rocked his
hips against Spike's butt to let him feel how hard he was.

"I'm too tired," Will complained.  "You could give me a show if you
like though," he added seductively, thinking that it was mean to
leave Angel like that, especially after he'd freaked last time his
Sire had taken matters into his own hand so to speak.

"Ok," Angel agreed enthusiastically, and so Spike awkwardly and
exhaustedly rolled over on to his back and propped himself up against
the pillows to get a good view.

Angel moved and knelt with his legs wide open at the end of the bed.
He took hold of his cock and began a slow rhythm up and down.

"That's my hand," Spike told him.  Angel switched to use his left
hand and groaned as he closed his eyes imagining that this was his
Childe stroking him.

"Use my other hand to stroke your balls, yeah?  Give `um a squeeze
huh?  Good.  Now roll `em in my palm."

"Yeah, that's it," Spike encouraged him with a whisper and watched
Angel massaged his balls and slid his fist repetitively up and down
his cock, sweeping his thumb over the leaking head with each pass.

"Lemme taste that," Spike hushed.  Angel collected some droplets
using his right hand then leant forwards to offer the digits to Spike
whilst he continued to work his cock with his left hand.

"Hmmm," Spike moaned in appreciation as he sucked Angel's fingers
into his mouth and swirled his tongue around them making them slick
with his saliva.

"Angel baby, do us a favour and get those fingers buried in your arse
huh?" Spike hushed seductively.

Angel reached around behind himself to do as he was told but Spike
stopped him, "Nah-uh, turn around.  I want to watch."

Angel groaned just from the thought of sinking his fingers into his
own arse as his boy watched him.  He turned around and bent over,
raising his butt in the air so that Spike would get the best view.
He opened his legs wider and heard Spike draw in a sharp breath as he
was obviously treated to sight of Angel's balls hanging heavy and low
and his arsehole gasping and ready to be penetrated.

Angel ran one finger around the rim of his hole, teasing both himself
and Spike.

"Please," Spike's voice was a little broken.

Angel pressed against his entrance and moaned in pleasure as he
allowed his finger to slide effortlessly into his passage.

"Two baby, I want two," Spike gasped.

Angel obeyed, pulling back out and adding another finger.  He changed
his mind, withdrew them again and slipped three in instead, tearing a
gasp and an, "oh fuck yeah," from Spike's lips.

Getting off on hearing his boy enjoying the show, Angel pumped his
fingers slowly in and out then stretched them apart so that his hole
was wide open to Spike's gaze.

"Enough," Spike eventually groaned, confusing Angel.  "Get back here
and sit on my cock now," Spike growled out the order taking away
Angel's confusion.

Angel shuffled backwards and positioned himself over Spike's ready
and willing cock.  He had to stay facing away from him as the bump
had been getting in the way for a while now whenever they tried to
face each other to do this.

Angel prepared to lower himself slowly, but didn't get the chance as
Spike simply grabbed his hips and pulled him down hard whilst he
arched and thrust up to impale him.

"Ride me baby, come on.  Fuck. Yeah.  Harder, come on!  Squeeze me,
oh yeah."  Spike ground out his instructions.

Spike tried to reach around to take hold of Angel's cock, but he
couldn't manage it.

"Angel.  My hand," he instructed strangely, but Angel knew what he
meant.  Once again taking hold of his cock in his left hand he began
to jerk himself off.  He moved slightly to ensure that Spike's cock
hit that special place deep inside him as he rode him hard and fast.
Sliding up and down or grinding his hips around until, "Uh-Uh-Uh,
Gahh," fell from his lips and his arse clenched wildly bringing both
him and his Childe to simultaneous orgasm.  As Angel covered his own
hand with creamy cum, Spike spilt into his arse with a loud, "Ohhh
fuckkk me."

Angel rocked forwards on to his knees letting Spike's spent cock slip
free from his body.  He collapsed onto his elbows and looked back at
Spike, upside down from this position.

Spike grinned at him.  "Now can I get some sleep?" he asked cheekily,
a devilish glint in his eyes.

"Yeah," Angel sighed and treated him to a goofy grin of his own.

xxXxx

"Angel?" Spike called walking into their suite.  He stopped dead in
his tracks, "Um, what are you doing love?"  Spike patiently asked the
now frozen with an `uh-oh I've been caught' expression on his face
Angel.

"I, um, well I just wanted to know what it felt like," replied Angel
as he made to remove the pillow that he'd stuffed up his shirt.

"Don't," Spike hushed and stalked over to him.  He wrapped his arms
around Angel from behind then snuggled up against him and rubbed his
face into his back, reaching around his front to gently caress the
pillow.

"What are you doing?" It was Angel's turn to ask softly.

"I wanted to know what it felt like too," Spike whispered copying
Angel's answer.  He sighed happily as just for a while he pretended
that Angel was pregnant and that it was his job to protect and look
after his Sire and their baby.

Angel sighed happily too and allowed himself to indulge in the
illusion of being the one who was pregnant and needed taking care of
by his loving Childe.

Angel's hand joined Spike's as they linked fingers and stroked the
pillow-baby together.  "What did you want?" Angel spoke softly,
remembering that Spike had come looking for him.

"I think I'm having contractions, but I'm not sure," he replied
calmly.

"What?" Angel was anything but calm as he spun around to look at
Spike.  "You're having the baby?"

"I don't know," Spike shrugged.

"How can you not know?"  Angel pulled the pillow from his shirt and
dropped it back on to the bed.

"Look," Spike took Angel's hand and placed it on his stomach.  "Wait
a minute," Spike instructed him and sure enough his belly gradually
tightened and went solid for a while, before it relaxed and went back
to normal once more.  "Is that a contraction?"

"I'd think so," Angel answered but seemed confused.  "It didn't hurt?"

"No.  That's why I'm not sure.  I thought it would be painful too.
Plus I'm only thirty five weeks.  Don't I have to go to forty?"

"No, remember Sam said that they baby will come when it's ready.
Forty is just an average.  It could be a bit before or a bit after.
You phone him and explain what's happening and I'll get the baby
book."

xxXxx

Spike sat on the bed talking to Dr. Brady on the phone as Angel sat
beside him flicking through the Pregnancy and Birth book.  Spike
explained what was going on to Sam and answered a few questions.

"Thanks."  Spike hung up the phone.

"What did he say?"

"Braxton Hicks contractions.  Look it up," Spike slid closer to Angel
as he first looked in the index then flicked to the right page.

"They're practice contractions that tone up the uterus ready for
delivery.  Some people have them right the way through their
pregnancy, but most experience them nearer the end."  Angel summed up.

"Yeah, although if they start to get stronger or painful then we need
to phone Sam, otherwise he said that there's nothing to worry about
and he'll see next week at our appointment.

xxXxx

At their thirty six week check up, Sam confirmed that Spike was
indeed having Braxton Hicks contractions, but then they'd already
realised this seeing as he hadn't gone into labour.  They were
pleased to hear that their baby had moved into a perfect position in
preparation for its birth.  Its head was down and facing backwards as
it should be.

xxXxx

Angel, Wesley and Cordelia came back from working on a case to find
the lobby absolutely sparkling clean and smelling wonderful.  Not
only that but it was perfectly tidy too.  All of the pens and pencils
stood to attention in their containers.  The papers and folders sat
in neat piles and all of the clutter was gone.  The three of them
stood in shock taking in the sight and trying to figure out who'd
been in and cleaned.

"Angel?" Spike called from upstairs.  "I need you.  I can't get this
stuff off."

The three of them went up to see what Spike was up to.  Angel froze
in the doorway to their suite and realised that whatever had happened
downstairs had happened in here too.  The room was spotless, not a
thing out of place.  What he saw took his breath away.  Spike was at
the kitchen counter, scrubbing away at some old stain with a sponge.

"You're, you're cleaning?" Was all Angel could managed to say.

"Has he been possessed by something?" Cordelia moved to stand behind
Angel for protection.

"Where's Gunn?" Angel asked slyly.

"I sent him to get some more cleaning stuff," Spike replied still
carrying on with his task.

They knew that Spike had been unusually neat and tidy when they'd
been decorating the baby's room, but this was something else!

"Spike, you're nesting," Wesley suddenly said softly as the
realisation hit him, a sweet smile spreading across his face.

Spike looked at him like he was an idiot.  "I am not building a
nest.  I just want everything to be nice and clean for the baby," he
defended.

"That is nesting," Wesley informed him.

"Right well I guess that's what I'm doing then," Spike
conceded.  "Angel are you going to help me or not?"

xxXxx

After all of that cleaning, Spike was utterly exhausted and easily
ready for sleep as he let Angel pull him close and spoon up against
his back.

"Sire?"

"Yeah," Angel questioned softly.

"I feel.weird," Spike couldn't explain himself anymore than
that.  "Can you.I mean will you go to sleep inside me?  I just want
to feel you.  I need to feel you."

Angel knew what he meant.  He kissed Spike's neck and shoulders
comfortingly as he used his hand to get himself hard.  Spike, lying
slightly on his side, raised one leg allowing Angel to slide in
easily.

Spike sighed contentedly as he felt his Sire enter him and fill him.

"Ok?" Angel hushed.

"Hmm," Spike confirmed, pushing back against him and snuggling his
body closer.

This wasn't about sex, Spike just needed to feel close to and
comforted by his Sire.  Angel too felt no need or compulsion to try
and aim towards an orgasmic goal now that he was hard.  He was
content just to lie still and fall asleep imbedded within his
Childe's body, simply enjoying the closeness of just being together.

Angel nuzzled closer still to Spike and wrapped his arm around him to
gently caress and protect their bump.

For the first time in a long while, both fell to sleep easily.

xxXxx

Thirty seven weeks and things seemed to be getting better for Spike.
The beginning of the week had been a nightmare.  Spike had been so
fed up, beyond impatient and had felt thoroughly exhausted.  After
sleeping with his Sire comfortingly inside him last night he'd woke
up this morning feeling a sense of easy calm and felt fully charged
ready to cope with anything.

Wesley and Cordelia had gone out to lunch together.  Gunn had asked
them to bring something back for him.  He wanted to stay in the
office as he was watching a couple of items on ebay that were due to
run out shortly.  He liked to wait until the last minute to put his
bids on so that he stood a greater chance of winning at a lower
price.  Angel had gone down to the mystical antique dealer to collect
an amulet that Wesley had asked him to keep an eye out for.  Spike
had thought about going with Angel, but being daylight, the journey
would involve a bit of a trek through the sewers.  Although he felt
better than he had done in a long while, he did think that such a
long walk might be pushing it, so he'd stayed at home and kept Gunn
company.

xxXxx

"Alright?"  Gunn asked when Spike held his stomach and winced again.

"Yeah, just those Braxton thingies again," Spike confirmed.  Assured,
Gunn relaxed again, lying back in the chair, feet up on the counter
as Spike slowly paced up and down in front of it.  The walking seemed
to be relieving some of his discomfort.  These Braxton Hicks
contractions seemed to be sharper that normal.

"Oh ok," Gunn continued with their conversation, "So are you going to
have like a traditional wedding, a bonding ceremony, or what?"

Spike didn't answer.  He stopped pacing and just starred at Gunn,
mouth open in shock, frozen.

"You sure you're alright?" Gunn asked taking his feet down from the
counter and standing up.  "What is it?" He asked getting worried now
and walking around to Spike's side of the counter.

Gunn looked down at the floor, a small puddle of water surrounded
Spike's naked feet.  "Spike, you're leaking," he said, then it
clicked Spike's waters had broken.  "Oh shit, no Spike, why couldn't
you do this when Cordelia or Angel were here?" He wasn't angry, his
tone wasn't even slightly abrupt, just whiny in a `why me?' way.

"I'm sorry," Spike burst into tears.

"Hey no, don't worry," Gunn not normally one for softness, soothed
him and stroked his shoulders.

"I want Angel," Spike cried sounding very much like a little child,
surprising Gunn when he turned to cuddle up to him, head resting on
Gunn's chest.

"It's ok, well get him."  Gunn awkwardly, hesitantly wrapped his arms
around Spike.

With Spike still attached to him, Gunn leaned over the counter and
speed dialled Angel's cell phone.  He didn't mess about with long
explanations or greetings, "Spike's waters have broken, get home now!"

"On my way.  Phone the doctor," Angel didn't waste time either.

"You got it."

Gunn hung up then speed dialled the doctor and told him what was
going on.  The doctor wanted to know if Spike was having
contractions, apparently the breaking of waters didn't mean an
imminent delivery.  Gunn checked with Spike, who didn't really know,
but said that they were stronger and had been more frequent over the
last couple of days, and had been even more so over about the last
four hours.  The doctor told Gunn that this could be it.  Could he
start filling the birthing pool just in case, half way would do, just
to get it going because they took a long time to fill.  He said he'd
be there right away.  Gunn agreed and hung up.

"This might be the beginning of labour," Gunn informed Spike.  "I
need to start filling your pool just in case ok?"

Spike looked so young, so worried and scared.  He was worried about
the birth and worried that he'd have to wait here alone while Gunn
went upstairs and filled the pool.  He wanted Angel.

"Don't worry, I'm here with you and Angel is on his way.  I won't
leave you.  I know what I'm doing," Gunn reassured him as if he'd
read his mind.  Actually he didn't have a clue what he was doing but
he didn't want to panic Spike.  "Can you walk?"

 "Yeah," Spike was calming down a bit.  Gunn was taking control, Gunn
knew what he was doing, Gunn would look after him.

Gunn put an arm around Spike and started to lead him up the stairs to
the room that they'd set up for the birth.

"What?" Gunn asked when Spike stopped.

"It's a mess," Spike looked back down to the small puddle on the
floor by the counter, and his footprints leading out of it.

"Don't worry, we'll get that later," Gunn soothed.

"What about your stuff on ebay?" Spike suddenly remembered.

"It's fine.  Didn't really want them anyway," Gunn lied and led Spike
all the way up the stairs.

xxXxx

Gunn helped Spike off with his wet sweat pants, glad that Spike had
warned him that he had no shorts on first.  Gunn felt a bit awkward
handling the half naked vampire, then realised that it was silly;
they were both men and besides there was noting sexual about this,
Spike need help and Gunn was there to help him.  He offered to get
Spike some new pants, but he wanted to stay the way he was.  Spike
kept his long T-shirt on, covering almost down to his knees and
giving him some dignity and making Gunn feel easier too.

Gunn sat Spike down, backwards cowboy style on a hard upright chair
with a pillow resting against the high back to support Spike's belly
as he'd seen Angel do.  Spike rested his chin on the chair back and
watched as Gunn set about filling the pool.  He left the hose
dangling in the tub filling it slowly then dropped the thermometer
into the pool and watched it start to bob about as the water level
slowly increased.  He hoped that Angel would get here soon.

"Alright Spike?" Gunn asked.  "Anything you want?"

"No.  Thanks for helping me."

"Hey no problem," Gunn smiled at him   Then his face fell, "You
having a contraction?" He asked dropping to his knees in front of the
chair, taking Spike's hands in his own, when Spike suddenly closed
his eyes and screwed up his face.

Spike didn't speak, didn't make a sound, didn't open his eyes, but
nodded yes.  After a few moments he opened his eyes and relaxed.

"Alright?"

"Yeah," Spike breathed a little tiredly.

"We should be timing these right?" Gunn asked then remembered that he
was supposed to be playing the all knowing birth expert, "I mean I'm
going to time these."  He set the stopwatch on his watch.

Gunn got up to stop the pool filling right to the top, he remembered
that he was supposed to leave enough room for top ups to make sure
that the temperature stayed just right.  He put the cover back on the
pool to keep the heat in.  Having done that task, he turned the
dimmer light down to its lowest setting, bathing the room in a soft
orange glow.

"Angel will be here soon," Gunn assured Spike again, sitting on the
floor beside the chair.  "Right what were we talking about
downstairs?" Gunn tried to think of something to say to Spike, to
pass the time and keep him relaxed and distracted.

"About..oh I dunno.  Gunn, could you rub my back please?" Spike asked
shyly, unsure.

"Sure, where here?" Gunn scooted around on the floor to sit behind
Spike.

"Bit lower, oooh yeahhhh there," Spike moaned in bliss and slumped
forwards against his pillow as Gunn rubbed the small of his back.

"Angel is gonna kill me if he hears you making noises like that,"
Gunn informed Spike with a chuckle.

They were silent as Gunn continued to massage Spike's lower back.
Spike tensed and sat up straight again.

"Another one?" Gunn asked softly.  Spike nodded and Gunn checked his
watch, nine minutes.  "Alright, shhh," Gunn soothed him, helping him
through it and continuing to rub his back.  Gunn surprised even
himself as he realised that he had slipped easily into the role of
comforter.

"Thanks," Spike whispered once he'd ridden out that contraction and
slumped forwards again.

"Sure," Gunn hushed back.

Angel burst into the room, causing both men to look up at him.

"Oh Will, are you ok?  I'm sorry I wasn't here," Angel dropped to his
knees in front of Spike.

"Gunn's been looking after me," Spike informed him, "he's been
great."   Although Spike had said thanks a couple of times already,
it only just sank in with Gunn how much Spike really did appreciate
his help.

"Thank you," Angel leaned around Spike to look at him and that's when
he realised that Gunn was rubbing Spike's back.  There was no
jealousy at all, instead he felt guilty that someone else had had to
look after his boy while he was off out.

"Want me to take over?" Angel offered.  He desperately wanted to do
everything for Spike, but didn't feel that it was right to push Gunn
out now that he'd been helping.

"Yeah," Gunn answered then moved so that Angel could take his
place. "That's it just there," he showed Angel where to rub then ran
though all of the things that Angel needed to know.  "Right, the
doctor is on his way.  The tub is half full and warm, we're not to
fill it anymore until right near birthing time.we might even have to
empty it yet and start again.  The doc said that Spike might not be
in labour, apparently just because his waters broke doesn't mean
anything.  It could happen up to twenty four hours or so before or
not until during the actual birth.

"Anyway, we think this is the real thing now.  Spike's been having
stronger contractions than normal and so far they are nine minutes
apart."  Gunn took off his watch and handed it to Angel, indicating
the count down, "press here once when the next one hits for the
readout, then press twice to clear it and start again, got that?"

Angel looked up at Gunn awed and full of gratitude.  He didn't know
the words to use.  The simple thanks that he offered next didn't seem
enough but Gunn didn't want anymore than that.  He didn't expect
anything for helping his friends.

The bell dinged in reception.  "Must be the doctor," Gunn guessed and
left the room.  They heard him lean over the banister and shout down
into the lobby, "You the doctor?  Yeah, we're up here."

Gunn came back into the room, "Ok, he's coming up.  I'll go clean up
downstairs.  Demon guts I can handle but childbirth is not for me.
Call me if you want anything ok?"

"Thanks," Angel offered again.  "Oh Gunn?" he called out catching him
before he vanished.

"Yeah?"

"Could you phone Cordelia and Wes to let them know what's happening?
They'd want to know."

"Sure," Gunn answered as he stepped back to let Dr. Sam Brady into
the room.

"Hi Sam.  That's Uncle Gunn," Spike told him.

Both said hello to each other then Gunn left, pulling the door
halfway closed behind him.

Spike didn't care that the door was open.  Actually it was nice to
know that Gunn, and soon Cordelia and Wes, would be right there
within earshot if he wanted them.  He wasn't bothered if they saw him
at all.  They weren't strangers; they were his friends and had helped
him throughout his pregnancy.  He wanted them there.

"Hello there, how are we doing?" Sam asked.

Spike didn't answer, closing his eyes tight he sat up straight again.

"Is that one?" Angel asked him and Spike nodded.  Angel tried to
sooth him, whilst doing what Gunn had told him with the
watch.  "Seven minutes," he informed Spike and the doctor.

"Look's like this is it then.  Still a while to go yet though," Sam
offered kindly.  "How are you coping Spike?"

"There not too bad yet," he said truthfully.

"Ok good.  I just need to check you over.  Can you turn around or
move back a bit?"

Angel helped Spike to stand.  Spike wrapped his arms around Angel's
neck but stood with his feet quite away back, his bump hanging
between them allowing the doctor access whilst Angel supported him.

Sam felt all over Spike's stomach. "Everything's fine," he informed
the pair when he'd finished.  "Good positioning and baby is
definitely moving down.  Spike, there's no doubt, you're definitely
in labour."

"Will, do you want to sit back down?" Angel asked.

"No, no, no," Spike groaned, feeling the approach of another
contraction.

"Ok, I've got you.  Shhh, I've got you," Angel soothed.  Holding
Spike and caressing him whilst Spike clung around his neck, leaning
his full weight against Angel and breathing in and out slowly.  Angel
fiddled with the watch as he held him.  "That was only five minutes,"
he sounded a little worried, was the time between contractions
supposed to change that rapidly.

"Alright Spike?" Sam asked once Spike had ridden out that
contraction.  "Getting stronger?"

"Ohhh yeah.  I can manage though."

"Good, let me know if they get too much.  I know you said no drugs
and I'm happy to keep it that way.  But if you do need anything it's
available."

xxXxx

"Angel? Spike?" Cordelia's voice came through the open door although
she couldn't be seen.

"Come on in," Spike called.

"Me too?"  Wes' voice followed.

"Yeah of course you too," Spike answered.

"How are you doing," Cordelia asked.  "Duh, stupid question," she
scolded herself.

"I'm ok," he answered anyway, still holding around Angel's neck but
with both of them kneeling on the floor now.

"So this is really it then," Wes stated.  "Is there anything you need
or want?"

"Yeah, can you make the doc a cup of coffee or something?" Spike
smiled cheekily.

"Of course," Wes rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Sam, this is Uncle Wes and Auntie Cordelia.  Want Wes to get you a
drink?" Spike asked.

"Nice to meet you and coffee would be lovely thank you," Sam answered.

"Ah no, no, `nother one.  Angel," Spike gasped and held onto him
again, eyes squeezed shut as another contraction hit, stronger and
more powerful than the last.

"Ok baby," Angel soothed, stroking him, petting him until he relaxed
again.  He'd supported Spike's stomach that time and realised that he
could feel the contractions.  Spike's belly got hard as one
approached, went rigid as it really took hold and peaked, then slowly
loosened as died down and he recovered.  "Five again," Angel
announced checking the watch.

"Oh Spike," Cordelia sighed sadly.  She didn't like that he was in
pain and she didn't like that she felt useless not being able to ease
anything for him.

"I'll get on with that coffee," Wesley offered, he wanted to feel as
if he was doing something helpful.  "Can I get anything for you?" he
asked Spike.  Spike, with his face buried in Angel's neck, shook his
head no.

"Angel?" Wes asked.

"No thanks."

"Ok, well be sure to call if you need anything, either of you."

"We'll just be downstairs," Cordelia said softly as she bent down to
give Spike a kiss on the cheek.  "Anything you want, just call."

"Cheers."

xxXxx

Spike spent the next two hours or so suffering with labour pains.
Wes had brought coffee and tea up a couple of times.  Gunn had
drained the birthing pool and refilled it with new fresh water.
Cordelia kept coming in just to see if they needed anything.  Sam
occasionally checked the progress of the baby by feeling Spike's
stomach and checking the fetal heartbeat with his Sonicaid.  He also
made sure that Spike was comfortable and could tolerate the pain
levels, offering advice when he thought it would be useful.  Mostly
though Sam kept to himself, sitting quietly in the corner ready on
hand but giving Angel and Spike the illusion of being alone so that
they could have this birth their way.

Spike had sat back on the chair.  He'd stood leaning against Angel.
He'd walked around.  He'd dropped on all fours and crawled around the
floor.  He'd crouched.  He'd squatted.  He'd leant against the wall
while Angel massaged his back and shoulders.  He'd flopped across the
beanbag like a beached whale.  He'd done all of this trying to find
comfortable positions and deal with the increasing pain.  He was
still adamant that he didn't want any drugs.  Spike had stripped off
fully and got into the pool when his contractions were about three
minutes apart.

Angel was no longer keeping track of the time between contractions.
He didn't need to.  There was no turning back now, no need to know if
the baby was coming or not.  The contractions were so close together
and lasting longer each time until they were almost coming on top of
each other without giving Spike a break.  He'd held Angel, breathed,
growled, cursed and howled though the pain, but he was dealing with
it.

Angel was shirtless, kneeling outside the pool.  Spike half knelt,
half squatted inside facing Angel with his arms draped over Angel's
shoulders, resting heavily against him and the side of the tub with
his head buried in Angel's neck, he was so, so tired.

Spike suddenly seemed to get a break.  His contractions stopped.
Spike slumped heavily against Angel, absolutely exhausted.

"He's stopped," Angel told Sam.  "Is that alright?"

"Perfectly normal," Sam assured him from his place beside the
pool.  "This stage is what we call transition.  All of those
contractions before helped to move baby into the right position.  The
next ones will be expelling ones and will work to push baby out.
We've still a way to go yet."

Angel caressed Spike, soothing him while they fortunately had a break
in the action.  He could hear Spike breathing and knew that he was
half dozing, taking full advantage of the chance to rest.

"I love you," Angel whispered.  "I'm so proud of you."

"Aww no, not yet," Spike whined, "don't want toooo."  Another
contraction, but it was over before it even got really started.

"Huh?" Spike was surprised, but relieved.

He fell silent again and tried to go back to sleep against Angel.

"Oh, Angel, Angel, Angel," Spike grabbed at him, and held him so
tightly that Angel knew he'd be bruised.  That one hurt.

Nothing again, Spike relaxed.  There was one little contraction, but
it wasn't enough to even make him move or complain.

Spike's contractions were all over the place now, following no
recognisable pattern.  He preferred the lesser pain of some, but was
becoming agitated and stressed not knowing when they were going to
hit or how strong they'd be.  He didn't like it, it was upsetting him
and he was becoming more emotional, crying a lot and becoming
confused and disoriented.  Sam assured Angel that this was all
perfectly normal for this stage.

"I don't want to do this anymore," he sobbed to Angel through one
contraction.

"I want you to do it, I've had enough now," though another.

"I want to stop, too tired, need to sleep," though another.

"Angel it hurts," Spike whined.

"I know baby, I know," Angel sympathised.

"You know, how the fuck could you possibly know," Spike screamed loud
enough for all to hear.  He'd changed from crying `help me, comfort
me' Spike into `I'm gonna rip your fucking dick off' Spike.  Angel
knew from reading the baby book and from listening to Sam to expect
this, but it still took him by surprise.

"Fucking hell," he bellowed though a new contraction.  He hadn't been
causing much fuss before really, but now he'd lost control and was
really giving it some.

"I want it out! Get it out! Jesuuus fucking Chrissst!"

"Stay the fuck away from me you bastard.  You are never touching me
again," Spike roared at Angel upsetting him, then contradicted
himself in the same breath, "Oh Sire, Angel, hold me, hold me, don't
let me go, don't ever let me go.  It hurts.  Fuck it hurts," he went
back to crying.

Angel wisely chose to stay silent this time and instead just held on
to Spike and comforted him.

Sam gave Angel a lopsided reassuring smile, reminding him that Spike
probably hadn't got a clue what he was saying right now and was
feeling wildly out of control, lashing out because he was scared.
Angel shouldn't take any of the `nasty' stuff personally.  Spike
didn't mean it.

Spike started to writhe and let out a strange low moan, "What's
happening?  Help me Angel.  Fuck, Oh shit, No, I need push.  I wanna
push."

"Angel, if you want to get in the tub do it now!  This is it.  Here
we go."  Sam became very animated now.  He wasn't standing back
anymore.  This was his part coming up now.  Spike was moving into the
second stage of labour and the baby was ready to greet the world.

Angel was naked in a fraction of a second and in the pool with Spike.

"Almost there Spike.  Not long now and you'll be holding your baby,"
Sam informed him.

Spike seemed to get a new burst of energy and regain control again,
he was hyped.  "Let's do this," he literally cheered excitedly.

"Sure you didn't give him any drugs?" Angel joked with Sam.  Sam
rolled his eyes and smiled.

They took up a similar position to the one they had been using
moments before.  Angel knelt whilst Spike squatted in front of him
facing him, leaning against him so that he could alternatively hug
him or use his shoulders for leverage.  Angel realised that Spike was
more buoyant in the water and it didn't take so much energy to hold
him, he should have got in earlier.

"Angel, I want you to keep hold of his hips.  He might try to lift
out of the water when he pushes.  We can't have that ok, it's very
important.  If he breaks the water he'll have to get out to deliver,
it's not safe otherwise."

"I've got him," Angel nodded determinedly.

"Spike when you feel the need to push you can alright?" Sam said.

"I want to now," Spike voice was strained as he already started to
push.

"Spike, I'm going to touch you," Sam informed when he stopped
pushing, so as not to make him jump and shoot out of the water.  "I
need to feel what baby is doing ok?"

Spike could feel Sam's hands against his butt cheeks and couldn't
help but whimper and fall against Angel a little.

"Shh, it's ok," Angel soothed him, gently stroking at the nape of his
neck.  Sam knew that Spike didn't like to be touched there, and he'd
avoided it through all of their check-ups, but this was too risky a
time to not know exactly what was going on.  Spike and Angel knew
that this was going to happen, it wasn't a surprise.

"I'm gonna." Spike growled as he started to push again.  Angel held
him tightly.  Sam had been right; as Spike pushed his body did try to
lift up and out of the water.

Spike collapsed against Angel again, panting hard from the exertion.

When Spike pushed the next time, Angel could see the excruciating
strain in his face.  His veins were rising up with the force and tiny
blood vessels were fracturing under his skin.

"Rest a minute Spike," Sam told him.  "Right I want a big, big push
next time ok?  Tell me when you're ready."

Spike rested against Angel panting hard again, drawing strength.

"Ok," he nodded to let Sam know he was ready.  He gathered all of his
energy, pushed as hard as he could and game faced with the strain.

"Keep pushing, keep pushing, that's it, come on Spike you can do it.
Baby's head is coming, push," Sam encourage excitedly.

Angel joined it too, "That's my boy, come on Will, push."

Spike let out an inhuman roar of pain, then collapsed against Angel
again.

"Well done," Sam praised him.  "Spike reach down, you can touch
baby's head."

Spike did as he was told and his eyes filled with tears.  "Angel, I
can feel the baby's hair," he said so sappily, nothing like Spike at
all.  "You feel," Spike told Angel.  Angel reached around with one
hand, keeping a firm hold on Spike with the other just in case.  "Oh
Spike," Angel cried too having felt the baby's head protruding from
Spike's body.

"When you're ready Spike, another big push," Sam said.

Spike summoned up his strength again, nodded that he was ready then
pushed as hard as he could again.

"Ok stop," Sam instructed.  "That's one shoulder.  Right, I want one
more big push then you'll be able to hold your baby."

Spike pushed for all he was worth, Angel yelling encouragement at him
excitedly.  Sam's hands were everywhere all at once ready to catch
the baby.  He done enough water births to know that babies turned
into mini torpedoes the second they were born.

"I did it," Spike's face was an utter show of amazement as he felt
the baby be born, fully sliding from his body.

"Congratulations," Sam said passing the baby though Spike's legs so
that he could take hold of it.  He helped Spike bring the baby gently
to the surface between him and Angel.  "That's it bring baby's face
out, but keep baby's body under the water so baby doesn't get cold.
Be careful not to pull or disturb the cord," Sam instructed them.

"Angel look," Spike spoke softly, crying happy tears.  Angel's was
crying too.  "Beautiful Will," Angel whispered as he looked at their
tiny creation cradled against Spike's stomach, just the creamy vernix
covered head sticking out of the red murky bloodied water.  He put
his hands out to touch and caress the little bundle so delicately as
if it might break under his touch.  Angel looked up at Spike and
kissed him, then went back to starring at their baby, who was looking
up at them wide eyed, fully aware and contented with no crying and
completely calm.  Water births were definitely the best way to go.

"What have you got," Sam asked softly.

"A baby," Spike grinned goofily at him, tears rolling down his face,
dazed and totally overcome with emotion.

"A boy or girl?" Sam phrased his question more clearly, still keeping
his tone soft.

"Oh," Spike got with it a bit more, realising that he hadn't looked.

"Angel, you do it," Spike hushed.

"Sure?" Angel kissed Spike.

"Yeah," Spike whispered, positioning the baby a little better for
Angel.

"We've got a boy, Oh Spike, we've got a little boy," Angel sobbed
happily.  "Kelan," Angel stated softly, it was the name that they had
agreed on for a boy, an Irish name that meant `mighty warrior.'

"Congratulations," Sam offered them again.  Without disturbing the
cord, Sam made a check to see that it had stopped pulsating to
indicate that the baby had no more need for it.  He couldn't check
for the little telltale gush of blood that would signal that the
placenta was already dislocating itself from the placenta site, as
the pool water was already bloody.  Sam let them have a moment
together as he went to retrieve some things from his birth pack.

"I need to clamp the cord," Sam told them and set about doing so
while Angel and Spike cooed over the baby.  Sam clamped the cord in
two places.  "Angel, do you want to do the honours?"

"Yeah," Angel sighed happily.

Sam handed him some strange looking scissors.  He held the
cord, "Angel, cut here, between the two clamps."  Angel did it and
handed the scissors back.

"Spike, I'll need you to get out to deliver the placenta.  Angel if
you could just get out."  Angel did as he was told, forgetting or not
caring that he was standing there stark naked and now coated in a
thin sheen of blood from the water.  Sam retrieved a blanket from the
side and gave it to Angel, positioning it how he wanted it in his
hands.  "Right, get close I'm going to hand you your baby."  Angel
moved in close and got ready.  Spike carefully handed Sam his son,
who quickly but carefully passed him to Angel and helped to wrap him
up in the warm blanket.  He helped Angel to position the baby
correctly to hold him safely.

Angel teared up again as he held his son for the first time.

Sam helped Spike out of the water, still careful not to agitate the
remaining length of cord and end up causing irregular contractions as
Spike's body tired to expel the placenta.  Sam wrapped Spike's top
half in a large fluffy towel.

xxXxx

Spike followed Sam's advice, resting in a squatting position with his
arms supporting him on the seat of a chair. Angel, now also wrapped
in a towel, looked after him whilst Sam cleaned and checked their
baby over as quickly as was safely possible beside them, making sure
that they could see all that he was doing.  Kelan cried, not happy at
being separated from either of his dads to be fiddled about with.
Spike didn't like him crying and felt an overwhelming need to hold
him.

Angel and Spike both watched as Sam checked baby Kelan's heart rate,
breathing, muscle tone, reflex response, measured around his head,
measured his length then weighed him using a strange set of scales.
Sam then put a nappy on him and showed them how to be careful with
the remaining segment of cord.  He explained that it would shrivel
and come away by itself in a few days.  He then began to dress him in
one of the babysuits they had put out.

Angel had dried Spike thoroughly and wrapped him in a warm blanket as
Sam had told him to do and was now leaning over Spike protectively,
offering all the support and comfort he could.

"You alright Spike?" Sam asked while he worked at doing the pop studs
up on the babysuit.

Spike just nodded weekly.  He was utterly exhausted.

"Try pushing a bit if you can," he suggested softly.

Spike could feel the mild contractions as his uterus gradually shrunk
down, forcing the placenta closer to his opening with each wave.

"Here, feed little Kelan.  It will help your uterus to contract."
Angel helped Spike to raise up a bit taking his full weight so that
Spike was free to hold Kelan safely.  Kelan settled and stopped
crying once he was in Spike's arms, recognising the scent and
presence of his dad and his soothing voice as Spike shushed him.  All
of these things he could recognise from having `lived' inside Spike.
He would know Angel's voice too, also familiar and having been learnt
and recognised while growing inside Spike.

Sam showed Spike how to hold Kelan correctly for feeding then helped
him get the baby to latch on to his tiny man breasts, "the whole
thing, not just the nipple, yeah that's it.  Well done."

Angel watched over Spike's shoulder, sighing happily as Kelan opened
his mouth, latched on to Spike and began to suckle.  The room was now
quiet other than the sounds of delightful snuffling and noisy
suckling as Kelan drank.

"Uhhh," Spike finally ground out.  That was all it took, placenta
delivered safely into a surgical box that Sam hand pushed beneath him.

Angel kissed the back of Spike's neck and stroked over his shoulders.

Sam moved the box out of the way and Spike was able to sit
comfortably back against Angel, relieving Angel of having to support
him so much.

"He's shaking," Angel told Sam worriedly.

"It's probably slight shock," Sam didn't want to frighten Angel but
he had to be told.  "He'll be fine though, happens after most
deliveries.  Once I've checked him over I want you to get him to bed
and make sure he's nice and warm.  What you need is a nice sleep
right Spike?" Sam turned his attention to Spike then back to
Angel, "He's exhausted.  When he's ready, make sure that he feeds
well, preferably your blood.  Having a baby takes a lot out of you."

"I think he's finished," Spike finally told Sam.  Kelan was still
attached to Spike, but was no longer suckling.  His eyes were closed
in sleep and his breathing was calm.

Sam showed Spike how if he popped his little finger just in the
corner of Kelan's mouth that it would break the suction.  Kelan
easily released Spike's breast, closed his mouth and snuggled against
Spike's chest.

"If you can give Kelan to Angel, I just want to check you over," Sam
told Spike.

Spike passed the baby over, rested his arms on the chair in front of
him and pulled himself back up into the squatting position that he
was in before.  The effort of pulling himself up seemed to finish him
off entirely.  He rested heavily on his arms, eyes closed in
exhaustion.

"Go. tell ..them," It was suddenly a huge effort for Spike to speak.

"In a minute," Angel promised him, "let's just make sure you're
alright first."

First Sam checked the placenta to check that it was complete, it
was.  "Spike," he spoke gently, to the drowsy vampire, "I just need
to check you, alright?"

Spike didn't move to acknowledge his words at all.

Angel got down beside him and held his hand whist cradling the baby
in his other arm.

Sam raised the back of the blanket.  "I'm going to touch you now," he
warned, checked him over quickly then covered him with the blanket
again.  "All done, you're fine."

Sam turned his attention to Angel, "You call your friends up, but
then I want Spike taken to bed ok?"

"Ok," Angel agreed, kissed Spike then made his way to the door.

Angel stepped out on to the landing to find three anxious faces
starring up at the room.  They'd obviously heard the birthing noises
stop a while ago, followed by Kelan's crying and back to nothing
again.  They were waiting for news or to be told that they could come
up.

Angel inclined his head, motioning that they could come up.  He'd
never seen any of them move that fast before.

"We've got a boy," he spoke softly, showing them his baby.  "His name
is Kelan."

"He's so beautiful," Cordelia cooed over him, tears of happiness
welling up.

Wesley's eyes filled too, "Oh Angel, he's lovely.  He looks just like.
well he looks like both of you."

"He's got bright blue eyes just like Will," Angel told them proudly,
wistfully.  Kelan's hair had Angel's colouring and his face was a
beautiful mix of both of his parents.  Definitely Angel's nose and
chin, definitely Spike's forehead and cheeks.

Even Gunn had turned soft, "Hey Kelan," he spoke in a tiny `baby
talk' voice.

"Who wants to hold him for me while I look after Will?" Angel hushed
with a smile looking at Cordelia.  He knew the guys would want her to
have first hold.

"Oh Angel," she whispered.  She felt so proud, so honoured to be
allowed to hold his son.  Angel passed him over carefully, helping
her to position him correctly as he'd been shown.  "Can you take him
to our room? I'll bring Will through in a minute."

"Is he alright?" All three asked simultaneously.

"Yeah, but he's exhausted, he really needs to rest."

"Go and take care of him," Gunn gently ordered Angel.

Angel came back into the room, took off the towel and put his
trousers back on quickly then made his way straight to his boy's side.

"I'm tired," Spike complained weakly as Angel scooped him up in his
arms.

"I know baby, you rest then," Angel soothed and Spike cuddled up to
him, still shaking.

"Kelan?" Spike wanted to know.

"He's waiting for us in our room," Angel reassured him.  "He's with
his aunt and uncles," Angel added in case Spike worried that their
baby was alone.

Satisfied Spike let himself fall asleep.

"I'll come and check on them both before I go," Sam informed Angel,
already cleaning up and packing his birth kit.

"Thank you so much," Angel couldn't even express how much he wanted
to thank Sam.

"No problem," Sam said easily.

"We've got a little present for you," Angel told him.  "Spike chose
it.  I'll give it to you before you go."

"Oh," Sam was surprised.  "Thank you."

xxXxx

Sam checked in on Spike and the baby before he left.  He told Angel
that he'd be back tomorrow to check on them again, but to phone if
there were any problems.  Angel remembered to give him his present.

xxXxx

After passing the baby around for a while and talking about the day's
events, Cordelia, Wes and Gunn all offered to spend the night in the
hotel in case Angel or Spike needed any help.  Angel had gratefully
accepted.  He had been pretty exhausted himself.  Being the partner
at a birth was almost as tiring as being the one giving birth,
emotionally and physically.  Angel fed well, excessively in fact and
was feeling much better, if still quite tired.

In all it had been a long day for everyone, all of the worrying,
waiting and rushing around, so they all decided to call it a night
and retire.  The hotel was calm and quiet as everyone but Angel slept.

He stayed up a little longer, just enjoying holding his son and being
alone with him.  Tiredness soon got the better of him though and so
he put Kelan in his crib right beside their own bed. He followed
Sam's previous safety advice on how Kelan should be positioned
correctly and how he should be covered.  Kelan was happy to carry on
sleeping.

Angel climbed into bed with Spike and pulled him close disturbing him
a little.  Angel shifted to accommodate Spike's form as his Childe
snuggled up against him and got comfortable.  Angel sighed
contentedly and wrapped his arms protectively around Spike as he felt
the delicious prick of white hot fangs sinking slowly into his own
breast.  Spike was feeding from him as Kelan had done to Spike.

Angel fell asleep as Spike continued to feed for a while, eventually
falling off and unlatching as sleep took him completely.

xxXxx

They'd only been down about an hour when Kelan decided that he didn't
like being without his dads and wanted feeding.  Spike felt much
better after feeding from his Sire.  He roused fully on hearing his
baby's cry and his man breasts began to leak in readiness for a feed.

Spike hushed at Kelan as he lifted him out of his crib and brought
him into their bed.  "Did your daddy put you in there?" Spike asked
the tiny bundle as he got himself comfortable, bunching up the
pillows behind him so that he could lean against them and get into a
good position for feeding.  "Are you hungry?" he continued chatting
to Kelan as he helped him to latch on.  Kelan regarded Spike with big
wide eyes as he sucked.  "You look just like a little alien, with
those big pretty eyes" Spike told him.

"Will, don't tell him that," Angel grumbled tiredly from beside him.
Kelan didn't seem to mind.

"But he does, don't ya?" He cooed at Kelan.

Angel rolled up to rest on his elbows so that he could look at his
son feeding.

"Isn't he gorgeous?" he asked Spike.

"He's beautiful," Spike agreed.

"Thank you Will," Angel sighed happily.

"For what?"

"For giving me such a beautiful, precious gift," Angel leaned up to
kiss Spike.  "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Spike hushed.  "Thank you."

They sat silent for a moment, cuddled together and watching Kelan
feed, simply enjoying being a family together.

"I'm glad we went with Kelan and not Connor," Angel broke the
silence.  "He doesn't look like a Connor does he?"

"No.  I didn't like the name Connor anyway.  Sounds too much like
that Highlander bloke on the telly, would have been bound to cause
problems."

"Why?" Angel was truly interested.

"Oh I dunno, just with a name like that you'd expect, well, a bit of
drama I guess.  You know how those stories go."

"No, tell me."

"I dunno maybe something like this immortal, no wait it would have to
be the child of an immortal, is in some false presumed danger.
There'd be this one bloke who knew about the danger, only he wouldn't
bother to tell anyone.  He'd do what he thought was right to protect
the kid.  It would all go wrong somehow, backfire and the kid would
end up in some alternate dimension or something and everyone would be
pissed off with the bloke who thought he was helping.  I dunno
something like that," Spike finished lamely.

"That's ridiculous."

"Yeah, I know, needs more details, like. oh I know a dodgy prophecy,
that sort of thing.  Anyway, whatever, I'm still glad we went with
Kelan."

xxXxx

Not so far away on an alternative plane of existence two supreme
beings had been listing to their conversation.

"Great, now what?  The `noisy one' is smarter than we thought.  He's
figured out our plan already.  We'll never get away with that now.
We'll have to abandon using these two and their baby," Being one
complained.

"I always thought the `one with the hair' was smarter," Being two
sighed.

"Obviously not.  So how are we supposed to get our hands on a miracle
baby now?" Being one whined.

"How about using the `back from the dead one' and the `one handed
cowboy'?" Being two suggested.

"Who?"

"You know. The bitch sire of the `one with the hair', and her new
lawyer Childe."

"A lawyer you say, hmm?" Being one mulled it over, "Pure evil.
Perfect."

The end.

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