Buffy's here. It's kind of amusing. My Sire's acting all weirded-out. He looks like he either wants to jump her or run really, really far away.
I'm glad to see her, though. Funny, huh? I'm actually happy to see the girl who kicked my ass on a regular basis. It's because she's just so...nice. I mean, she's tough, Buffy is extremely tough. But she cares. She cared about worthless little old me, didn't she? Enough to free me from that place and send me somewhere I can heal. She knew that I needed to go somewhere safe.
And safety, to her, meant Angel.
Guess what? It meant the same to me. Well, now anyway. And way back when, before my Sire got cursed.
Buffy asked me how I was, then she asked me to take my shirt off so she could see my back. I really, really, really didn't want to, but she looked at me with those caring eyes of hers. The same ones that told me that I am now part of her little circle and she would protect me with her own life.
I felt humbled by that.
So I led her further into the bedroom, grit my teeth so hard I'm surprised my jaw didn't break, and took my shirt off.
I immediately wanted to scream.
In fear.
I think she told me I was healed, but I wasn't really paying that much attention. I was just trying to hold myself together. I put my tee-shirt back on as quickly as I could, and by that time, Angel said he was leaving and took off.
Buffy gave me a puzzled look at that, and I shrugged. How the bloody hell was I to know what was up with him?
"I really wish he wouldn't have left," Buffy said to me. "I need his help. I figured he's heard of a demon we're researching, which is why I'm here."
"Why didn't you just call?" I asked. I crossed my arms and sort of hugged myself. An uncomfortable terror was filling me, and I looked around the room. It felt like I was being watched, like hundreds of eyes were staring at me. All because I took my shirt off.
Bloody hell, I hate this.
"I had dinner with my dad," Buffy answered. "Sort of a ten month late birthday dinner. I told Giles that I'd ask Angel while I was here." She laughed, a combination of bitterness and humor. "He gave me the whole 'Are you certain?' speech. Like I was going to let on that I was scared to death of coming here and seeing Angel after...after..."
I could see the pain in her eyes as she stopped speaking. If I was more myself, I would have comforted her. Then again, if I was more myself, I would be trying to kill her, as usual. And I'd be getting my ass kicked from one end of LA to the other.
Instead I said, "Maybe I can help." And I did.
My Sire has a fuck load of books.
Although I was still panicked and feeling those eyes on me, together we found the information she was looking for. It was strange, working with the Slayer rather than against her. I know I've done it before, but I had my own self-interest at heart. This was different. I was helping her to help her.
I am so bloody messed up.
Angel returned about the same time we finished up. The second he entered, the feeling of being watched vanished. I was relieved.
He seemed calmer, less on edge. And he brought back a windchime. He said it was to chase away bad dreams.
I could certainly use that.
After he put it up, he went and sat on the couch. Buffy glanced at me, then stood and walked over to him. My heart caught at the expression of happiness on her face an instant before she sat down beside Angel.
I wanted to feel that happiness, anything than what I constantly felt ever since being freed.
Hesitantly, I got up and walked around the other side of the couch. Buffy looked so safe and secure curled up against my Sire as she was. Silently, I implored him to make me feel that safe. I didn't care anymore that I was acting like a complete pansy.
I just don't fucking care.
Angel nodded with his head for me to sit beside him. Tears sprang to my eyes, and I dropped my head. I was not going to cry in front of him, despite admitting to myself that I didn't care that I was a wuss. Instead, I sat down next to him, my muscles tense and prepared for a blow, even though I logically knew he wouldn't ever hurt me.
I finally managed to relax enough to lean back against the couch. A few seconds later, I was leaning up against my Sire just like Buffy, and I felt a kiss on the top of my head. And that was okay.
Because for the first time in weeks, I felt secure.
Nothing was going to harm me while I was with my Sire.
Nothing.