Rating: R
Story Notes: Spoilers for Season 5.
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Angel:
Harmony's voice screeched out of the intercom like a whining parrot. "Boss? There's a guy out here that says he has to see you."
Angel frowned at the phone. "Who is it?"
She hesitated, and then went on haltingly. "He . . . won't tell me his name. But he says he needs to see you about some speeding tickets."
"Speeding tickets?" the vampire said, his brow wrinkling irritably. "Since when do we fix speeding tickets? Who the hell-"
The double doors to his office both opened at once and Lindsey McDonald strolled in, not stopping until he was in the very center of the room. He looked good, actually, standing there in battered 501's that hugged all his smooth parts so nicely. And that soft-looking white pullover was just thin enough that Angel could see his little pink nipples. Not to mention, the delicious hard muscles in his arms. He thought he could see something else there on the boy's skin . . . markings of some kind . . . but, no-that couldn't be right. Lindsey McDonald was far too uptight for tattoos.
Lindsey smiled crookedly, daringly, but said nothing at first. He just stood there, letting his very presence resonate.
Angel stood up and walked slowly around his desk, leaning against it with one foot crossed over the other. He folded his arms across his chest and gave the young man a good looking over, then he returned that crooked, daring smile.
"Lindsey," he greeted.
"Angel," the boy replied. "How's unlife at the top?"
Shaking his head, the vampire said, "what the hell are you doing here?"
"Didn't your secretary tell you?"
He blinked. "Speeding tickets?"
"23 of them, to be exact," Lindsey said. "You owe me about seven grand, plus the fat fee I had to pay to get my license back." The young lawyer clucked his tongue condescendingly. "That little sign on my truck was not very mature for such an old soul."
Just as he opened his mouth to reply, Spike sauntered in through the open doors. He stopped for a moment to let his eyes wander all over Angel's guest from behind, then he walked right up to the boy and stopped only inches from his back.
"What's this?" the blond said.
"This is a Lindsey McDonald," Angel explained.
"Ahhh," Spike purred. "Thought I smelled lamb."
Lindsey's eyebrows raised and he turned slightly to look at the newcomer. The two of them eyed each other boldly, clearly sizing the other up as an opponent.
"Lamb?" Lindsey asked Angel, though he never took his eyes off Spike.
"Long story."
"I got time."
Spike laughed impishly, then got way too close to the boy. "Maybe not," he growled. He leaned in and sniffed his way up Lindsey's neck until their noses were almost touching. There, he licked his lips and uttered a soft moan of pure delight. "Oh, yessssssssss," he said. "This one is just as tasty as he wants to be, isn't he? All warm and salty . . . with just a bit o' honey thrown in to layer the flavor."
Angel watched all this with mild amusement, wondering just how far his childe would go. One never knew with Spike.
Lindsey didn't flinch or show any sign of moving away. He stood his ground and let the blond vampire totally invade his personal space. Angel could smell a hint of fear on the boy, though. He wasn't sure how far Spike would go, either.
"I'm guessing this is your personal guard dog?" Lindsey said.
Spike only grinned and stayed way too close to him. The tops of their thighs brushed very slightly.
"No," Angel replied. "But that's not a bad idea. Lindsey, this is Spike."
"I know who he is," Lindsey said, still holding his ground. In fact, he inched forward a bit until his chest connected with Spike's. If there was one thing Angel always appreciated about this little bastard, it was his nerve.
Addressing Spike that time, Lindsey said, "if you're gonna bite me, get to bitin'. If not, get fucked."
Spike laughed gleefully, but didn't move. Yet. "You smell so yummy, mate, I rather fancy the idea of doing both," he said, then he turned his gaze to Angel. "Do you mind if I eat him?"
"Not just yet," Angel said. "I'm kinda curious about why he's here."
"I told you," Lindsey said. "Seven grand in speeding tickets. I'll take a check."
Still standing flush against the boy, Spike asked his sire, "speeding tickets?"
"Uh huh," Angel said. "Last time I saw this guy, I taped a big sign to the back of his truck that said 'cops suck'. Apparently he didn't find it for quite awhile."
Frowning curiously, Spike looked from one to the other of them. "You?" he asked Angel. "You did that? Bloody hell, mate. That's incredibly childish. What drove you to such depths?"
"I owed him one," Angel said. "Actually, I owed him many."
"For?" Spike wondered, his eyes traveling lecherously over Lindsey's body again.
"Mr. McDonald is a very bad boy," Angel explained. "He did naughty things to me back in the day."
"Like?" Spike urged and then he pressed forward just a little more. There was no space between them now.
"Like . . . resurrecting Darla to try to turn me evil then falling in love with her and trying to take her from me, running me over with his truck about fifty times, beating the crap outta me with a sledgehammer-"
This got Spike's eyebrows up. "A sledgehammer?" he asked Lindsey.
"Mm," the boy replied. "He had it coming. At the time, Darla was MY girl. He's the one that fucked her and tried to take her away from me."
"She was never your girl, you asshole," Angel snapped.
Spike-who was still pressed tightly against Lindsey-began to laugh again. "Easy, children," he said. "The lady used you both mercilessly and ran off. I don't think it's worth snarlin' over any longer. Past is past. Now, let's get back to the sledgehammer bit. I mean, it's not the most original tool, but it can be damned efficient. You really took one to our great hero?"
Lindsey took a deep breath, but still didn't retreat. "I did. Repeatedly. The truck wasn't doin' it, so I figured I'd try something a little more hands on." His big blue eyes flitted to Angel briefly. "Or I should say HAND on. Unfortunately, the fucker kept getting up."
Spike heaved a theatrical sigh. "Yeah. Hate that about him. The old boy just doesn't know when to stay down." Glancing at Angel, Spike offered a playful wink. "Still, that's impressive, innit? For a human. Just havin' the sack to come at you with a weapon is enough to make me wanna buy the bloke a pint."
"Oh, yeah," Angel said, rolling his eyes. "Lindsey's got all the balls in the world."
Suddenly, just like Angel knew he would, Spike slipped his hand between Lindsey's legs and got hold of the balls in question-tightly. Lindsey sucked in a surprised little breath, but didn't move-also, just like Angel knew he would. They were interestingly matched, these two. He would have lied to say he wasn't enjoying their interplay.
"So I see," Spike said under his breath. "Quite a healthy pair, indeed."
"Let go," Lindsey said quietly, eyes locked on those of his captor.
"Aw," Spike said, sticking out his bottom lip. "But they feel so nice." He tightened his grip and grinned broadly when the boy flinched in pain.
"Let. Go." That time, Lindsey spoke much softer and the message packed a great deal more wallop. Angel couldn't help but smile.
Spike looked over at his grand-sire, as if for instruction. As if. "What would you do, peaches? Crush the boy's nuts or take him out for a drink?"
Angel shrugged. "Suit yourself," he said, then he walked back around to his chair and sat down. It wasn't that he didn't care what happened next, he just wanted to be surprised. So few things brought him any joy of late.
Leaning back in that plush leather chair, he put his feet up on the desk and got comfortable. At least he appeared to be. Inside, his mind was working frantically trying to figure out Lindsey's game because there had to be one. This boy always had a game.
"I'm gonna ask you one more time," the boy said to Spike in that very appealing sandpapery voice of his. "Let go of my nuts or I'll fuckin' stake you."
"WILL you?" Spike said and then he laughed again, but to Angel's surprise-he let go of Lindsey's balls. Hm. He hadn't seen that coming at all.
"Thank you," Lindsey said, then he straightened his clothing and turned to face Angel, thus breaking his physical connection with Spike.
The blond vampire flopped into one of the chairs in front of Angel's desk and looked up at the young man with open amusement. But they were both interested in what he would say next.
"The tickets?" Lindsey repeated, slipping his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
Angel's brow knit. "Is that really why you're here?"
"Why else?"
For a long time, they just watched each other, dark glinting eyes holding steadily on wide, seemingly innocent blue ones. Angel tried to see if he could find anything in the young man's gaze-anything that would give him away-but there was nothing. Lindsey McDonald had always been good at hiding his thoughts. Finally, Angel took his feet off the desk and sat forward, opening the top drawer to his left. Taking out the large leather-bound corporate checkbook, he wrote out a check for $7,000 payable to Lindsey. He signed it in his loping hand, then tore the check from the book and held it out to his unwelcome guest.
Lindsey hesitated for a moment, then he reached for the check, folding it in half and tucking it into the back pocket of his jeans. "Thanks," he said, then he turned and started for the door, but not without blowing Spike a snide little kiss.
Spike growled at him like a pit bull chained in someone's yard and then he laughed gleefully. "Oh, I like this one!," he told Angel. "He's fun."
Watching the boy cross the office to the door, Angel had one more thing to say before he got out of sight. "Am I seeing your ass for the last time?"
Lindsey slowed as he reached the door and arched an eyebrow at the vampire. "Angel," he said in his amiable Southern drawl. "I haven't yet begun to show you my ass." And then he was gone.
Spike giggled with delight, then leaned over the desk to offer his fingers to Angel for smelling. "Is that our chippie?"
Brushing his nose over the fingers Spike had used to hold Lindsey's balls so tightly, Angel took a deep breath. "Mm," he said. "That's Eve, all right. Fresh, too."
Spike smelled his own fingers again. "Nice," he murmured. "Might have to get me some of that."
"Yeah, she's fun," Angel said, putting the checkbook back in the drawer. "Gotta love a girl who prefers doggy-style."
The blond grinned and chuckled deep in his throat. "So, what's the yummy boy really up to?"
"God knows. I'm sure it's only a matter of time until we find out." He stared at the open doors to his office pensively, wondering just how close to him Lindsey had managed to get.
"Are you going to sit little Eve down?" Spike asked. "Pick her brain?"
"Nah," he said. "I think it'll be more interesting to just let her be and watch." He looked at Spike directly. "Besides, it's not like she'd tell me the truth. What would be the point?"
"Right," Spike said, standing up and stretching his arms over his head. Angel took advantage of the angle and let his eyes enjoy a nice long wander over his childe's hard body. "Well, that was stimulating," the blond said. "But now my belly's growlin'. Time for lunch." He headed toward the door again, lean hips rolling nicely as he went. "See you later, peaches." Spike took his exit, pulling the doors closed behind him.
Angel sat in the quiet office for a long time mulling over the last half hour of his day. As he sorted through the facts, he came to three conclusions-one, Lindsey McDonald was going to cause him some unimaginable grief before he was done; two, Spike would likely have Eve by the end of the day; and, three-that great-smelling evil lawyer from Oklahoma had absolutely no intention of cashing that damned check. That would be way too easy.
No, Lindsey had something very different in mind to settle his score with the vampire with a soul. All Angel could do now was wait to see which manner of weapon he would need to defend himself.
the end.