Pairing: Angel/Wesley
Summary: Warm night, can't sleep, too hurt, too weak. Gotta call him up.
Spoilers: None really. Just a moment between the boys, with a little bit of everything thrown in for good measure.
Warnings: Nope. Nothing graphic.
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, but to Joss. If they did belong to me, the show would have been on cable.
Distribution: Loving Angel LJ, Loving Angel Fic Archive. If you want it, just ask.
Authors' Note #1: The story is evolving into something more than just a look at a week in the life of Angel and Wesley. So I'll just let the story tell itself from this point on.
Authors' Note #2: This is my first time writing alone. I normally share the load with angelspike69, but she is busy with a ficathon and I just wanted to try writing something different. I would also like to thank Lori for Betaing. Any mistakes belong to me.
Feedback: Thanks for all the great feeback I received on the first chapter. It was greatly appreciated and satisfied the whore in me very much! More would be very nice.
Words: If I was the sun.
Songs: I'm obsessive when it comes to just about everything, but especially music. I get caught up in the lyrics, rhythm, the way the words are sung. Once a song is trapped in my head, I can't do anything but let it take me. I will sing, hum, and play it until your ears bleed! The song for this part is Turn to Stone by ELO.
Lyrics: I turn to stone when you are gone, I turn to stone. Turn to stone when you coming home, I can't go on.
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~Part: 1~
A Sunday night at the Hyperion
"Angel are you ever coming out of the bathroom? Seriously, I have to go," Wesley stammered.
"I'm almost finished...be out in a sec," came the response.
"That's what you said 15 minutes ago! Just let me come in and I'll be out in seconds."
"It hasn't been that long." Angel answered, completely ignoring Wesley's last comment.
"I give up." Wesley threw his hands in the air. "You're worse than Cordelia."
The door to the bathroom finally swung open and Angel stepped out looking very sexy. He glided past Wesley, trying hard to conceal the smirk on his face as the other man watched his every move. Wesley noted with interest the show Angel was putting on, then shook his head and hurried into the bathroom. Before he shut the door, he called out "And I saw the smirk you were trying so hard to hide." He slammed the bathroom door shut on Angel's reply.
True to his word, Wesley was out of the bathroom in record time, looking equally sexy as Angel, but with less fuss. Much less fuss. He'd even managed to put in his contacts quicker than Angel took to comb his hair. The contacts were a treat for Angel -- he knew how much Angel liked to see the blue of his eyes. Although now Wesley wasn’t sure he deserved any kind of treat.
The dark haired vampire watched his lover with a gleam in his eyes. Wesley was never one to make a big deal about his appearance, but when he decided he wanted to look good, he cleaned up nicely. Angel wrapped strong arms around Wesley's waist, holding him against his broad chest. "Mmm, baby you look delicious," Angel whispered in his ear.
Baby...what's he up to? "Thank you. You don't look bad yourself." Wesley's mouth quirked in a smile as he leaned into Angel's cool chest, and then he let out a gasp. "Stop doing that." Wesley tried to get away, but Angel was holding him tightly. "We don't have time for this. A-Angel...are you listening to me?"
"Be still." Angel growled this time licking Wesley's ear. Wesley immediately did as he was told, his hands sliding down uselessly at his side. "That's better. I've got so many nasty things to show you. I can't do that if you make me stop."
"I'm showered and dressed." Wesley said the first inane thought that came in his head.
Angel inhaled Wesley's scent, running his nose along his neck and face. "Good. So, now I'll just undress you."
Wesley looked down to watch long fingers slowly unbutton his shirt. Angel slipped a cool hand inside the open shirt and rubbed very hard nipples. His other arm was curled tightly around Wesley's waist. Wesley melted into the embrace, allowing Angel's hand access to every inch of his chest. "Oh god...right there...do that again."
"Oh, yeah, you like that. Thought you wanted me to stop." Angel responded wickedly.
"N-no, please continue." Wesley could barely keep the whimper out of his voice.
Angel loved when Wesley made that sound and turned him around roughly, pushing the thinner man against the wall. "Look at me when you say that."
Wesley looked up with soft blue eyes, barely able to conceal his desire. "I-I want you to do that again...only harder," he moaned. Angel hissed a cool breath in Wesley's face, before snagging his lips in a wet kiss. He had both hands inside Wesley's shirt now, tweaking both nipples. Wesley cupped Angel's ass cheeks and pulled him in closer. Their hips rubbed together in a slow grind as their mouths swallowed every moan. Wesley reluctantly broke the kiss, cursing his need to breathe. "Are we leaving now?" Wesley asked in a shaky voice.
"No, my cock is hard and I’m going to fuck you up against this wall." Large hands tapped the wall for emphasis.
"You’re a dirty man Angel."
"Uh-uh and you like it when I’m dirty. You like it when I lick your sweeeet ass before I fuck you."
"Y-yes." Wesley was practically panting in Angel’s mouth. Angel stuck one finger into the younger man’s open mouth and watched his cheeks hollow as he sucked on the offered finger. Angel leaned into the warmth of Wesley’s neck, licking down to his collarbone.
Cool air on his legs made Wesley look down to see his pants in a puddle around his ankles. His mind was obviously floating in a fog far from what was being done to his body. Wesley hadn’t realized when his pants had fallen off.
Just as fast, Angel pushed Wesley’s legs open with his thigh and sank to his knees. Angel was a man of his word and he began to lick and nibble along his lover’s inner thigh, inching his way up to his cheeks.
Wesley looked down at the lowered dark head and reached out blindly to grab hold of something. Anything. He knew what was coming next and bit his lip to keep from begging for it. Angel positioned himself and threw Wesley’s long legs over his shoulders. A weak smile spread across the ex-Watcher's face, as he felt the wall pressing roughly into his back. Broad powerful shoulders held him up, preventing him from sliding further down the wall.
Wesley hissed when Angel lowered his head, briefly brushing against his erection. It felt like forever, but finally Angel's tongue began to lick along his waiting cheeks.
That's when Wesley's cell phone chose to ring. Both men groaned, but reluctantly stopped what they were doing. Angel helped Wesley stand and watched as he moved to answer the intruding phone.
If Angel had a heartbeat it would have sped up. He could tell by the set of Wesley's shoulders who was on the other line interrupting them. The suddenly nervous vampire went to sit on the bed. He needed to feel something solid beneath him. The call ended and Wesley turned blue eyes to find sad brown ones burning into him. Angel looked so lost. Wesley almost didn't have the nerve to tell him, but they had never lied to one another about this and he wasn't about to start now.
"That was Virginia."
"I know." Voice low. Head bowed lower. Long fingers playing with imaginary lint on his pants. "So, are you leaving?" It wasn't really a question.
"Yes, I think that would be best. Maybe we can get together later?" That wasn’t a question either.
"I'd like that." Angel didn't move from the bed, but watched Wesley gather his clothes and walk toward the bedroom door. He paused with his hand on the doorknob, head down, and shoulders rigid. He despised the way his stomach betrayed him by clenching with need. For one moment, it seemed as if Wesley would stay, but then he opened the door and walked out, shutting away the sight of Angel on the bed. He resisted the urge to wrap Angel in his arms and love him warm. The soft click of the closing door sounded to Angel’s sensitive ears like the clang of a prison cell locking.
Wesley never once looked back.
~Part: 2~
Hyperion. Angel's POV.
My arms won't move, not that I've tried. I can feel the tingle of movement tugging at my fingertips, but I decide to ignore it. Now is not the time for action. I just need to sit here and feel. I don't give myself enough time to do that ---feel. Always have to hide away, can't allow anyone to see - be like the darkness that surrounds me. I don't know how long I've been sitting here, but now I can feel the ache in my legs. My toes have lost sensation; they're wedged together, throbbing a little, begging for some kind of attention. I wiggle one toe cautiously inside my shoe. No one will say anything to me; they're all avoiding the silence. Not even fearless Cordy has come over to demand that I stop being brood guy - do something besides creep her out. I'm aware that's what I'm doing because I can taste her heartbeat shallow and fast in my mouth. Like she was running. Already taking flight in her mind from what she thinks is after her. What do they know? I'm not evil. I'm not soulless. I'm not Angelus. I'm in pain, in need. I want Wesley. I need Wesley to decide, not leave me sitting here, waiting. When did that happen? When did I become the one who couldn't wait to see his face? It used to be the other way around and now I don't know what to do about this. So I sit.
I can taste the blood seeping sluggishly from a shallow wound before I smell it. Gunn. His blood smells of the streets at night; wild, untamed, all instinct. You either know not to walk in the dark or you walk the darkness as if light exists only for you. He leads without having been told how. He just does it. I respect him. He struts into the lobby even though he's a little banged up and goes to Cordy for bandaging. I don't move. I see the two of them share a look over my head; a slight shrug of shoulders lets me know they suspect something is wrong. Gunn tries for conversation, but his blood is talking louder than he is and I don't really hear what he's saying. I'm concentrating on the quiet scream of red. Yes, I love your color I answer. Shockingly bright and enticing, like Christmas paper on a Sunday morning. I want to open that present, delicately, slip inside and then ease out into the world again, refreshed, new.
The deep shade of his skin hides the veins from my sight. The thick-corded one that runs up his arm makes me thirsty and I lick my lips without thinking how this will make my friends feel. I'm a vampire and blood does that to me! I don't normally show it but right now I can't be bothered with control. I want to lick that pathway, follow it to the source and let it pump into my mouth. Feed me. Nourish me. Sustain me. The prize is buried beneath layers of dark and shades of brown. I'll dig until I find what is mine and then I'll feast. Only right now I'm tired and there's something I want more. I haven't hungered for someone in so long, I've forgotten how to have what I want. Before it was easy. I saw. I stalked. I took all with a smile. Now I think, give options. Multiple choices for loving me. A, he will or B, he won't. There's nothing else. The orange red glow of the setting sun hits the floor of the lobby, and still I sit. Cordy and Gunn leave, tired of waiting for me to say something, anything. Still I sit. Finally even I can't sit any longer and I stand to call Wesley.
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"Angel, is everything okay?" He answers softly, then gets up from the bed and goes into the living room, quietly closing the bedroom door behind him.
"Fine Wes, nothing to worry about."
"What can I do for you then?" He asks cautiously.
He's going to make me say it, stubborn bastard. "I want to see you." Angel whispers.
"I don't think now is a good time. I'll come in early tomorrow and we can talk then." Wesley answered with a nervous tremor in his voice.
"No."
"Angel.be reasonable."
"Did I tell you that when you showed up at my door last time, unannounced, looking for comfort?"
"No, I don't suppose you did." Wesley answers truthfully.
As a matter of fact, Angel had welcomed him in with a deep kiss that lasted until morning. Wesley had worked the rest of the day with kiss-swollen lips, still tingling hours after they had touched.
"Let's not play this game Wesley. I'm tired, hurt and too weak to keep this up. I want to see you." This time there was passion behind Angel's words.
"Give me a moment to put on some clothes and I'll meet you at the hotel."
"Look out. I'm downstairs."
Wesley walked to the window that faced the front entrance of the apartment complex, pulled back the curtain and glanced out. Angel stood half in the moonlight, half lost in darkness. Wesley felt as if there were a deep scratch in his heart; the needle skipping over the groove that was Angel. Silence shifted on the other end of the line, as if Angel heard the sound Wesley's heart had made.
"I'll be down in a second." He hung up the phone, quickly pulled on clothes and went down to meet his lover.
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Angel spoke furiously. "Of course I'm still mad at you! You took my son from me! This is not the first time you've made a decision in a vacuum without discussing it with anyone. Now you're doing it again! Don't do this Wesley!" Angel enunciated each word viciously.
"This is not the same thing as me taking Connor and I thought we agreed not to use this against one another in anger. Angel I have to do what's best, you know this. I .I can introduce Virginia to my parents." He finished lamely.
They had been arguing non-stop for twenty minutes. Wesley was worn out. He could have continued if their voices had been raised above a whisper, but this was too intimate. They stood too close, teeth bared and jaws clenched, hissing venomous words into each other's face. Spit from Angel's tightly controlled outburst sprayed across Wesley's glasses. He took them off and cleaned the lenses.
"You mean your father." Angel shot back bitterly.
"Alright then, yes my father." Wesley returned his glasses to his face. "I still care what he thinks of me. I can't kill him like you did yours." Anger mixed with the gray of Wesley's eyes.
"Oh, you can't say anything to me that I haven't already told myself. I know much better than you ever will what happened to my father. I was there. I didn't read it in a book. I experienced it." Angel punctuated each verbal cut with a stab of his hand; knowledgeable hands that could make Wesley feel like he was being unwrapped one layer at a time.
"Listen to yourself, you're being self-righteous about killing your father! I don't have to discuss this with anyone. It's my choice to make. I've decided Angel. I'm going to marry Virginia." He finished quietly, but firmly.
Angel had moved to stand even closer; their noses almost touching. Brown eyes had started to bleed into gold, but Wesley didn't flinch; he'd seen it all before. Angel was going to take him. Wesley just had to decide if that's what he wanted this time. Angel's hand shot out catching the slender man off guard even though he was tensed and prepared for what would come next. The vampire roughly pushed Wesley against the hood of the car and pinned him down, staring into his face. A fissure raced across the plains of Angel's face, and then he cracked wide open. All the love he held, the hate, the lust - everything he felt for Wesley displayed fiercely. Tears rolled freely from his eyes, but the gold didn't leave. He ran his tongue restlessly back and forth across his fangs in that familiar way. When Angel finally spoke, Wesley watched the tears that had settled on his lover's lips as they sprinkled down on his upturned face like drizzle. Blue eyes flinched every time a drop landed on his skin. Wesley's throat muscles worked in an attempt to speak, but he had no voice. He was mesmerized by the steady fall of Angel's spoken tears.
"Listen to me Wesley." Angel's voice was rough with something that neither of them could place. "If that is what you need to do, then I'm not going to stand against you. I love you too much for that. But don't think for one second that we will continue this, whatever this is." His fingers flexed and released involuntarily, kneading Wesley like dough. "I won't be your secret. I spend far too much of my time in the darkness because of regrets. I won't do that now - not here. For once, I feel I've done nothing for which I need to ask forgiveness. I've done nothing wrong. I just want to love you, that's all." The outpouring of his words exhausted, Angel collapsed on top of Wesley, sniffing along his face, down his chest and then coming to rest in the crook of his neck. According to Angel, this was his favorite place to be. He liked listening to the rush of blood just beneath the surface.
One night while Wesley held him, Angel had confided that the sound of his surging blood reminded him of the ocean. Waves crashing warm against him as he struggled not to be carried away. Devoured with silence, but just beneath the surface was life. This was the first time Wesley had tipped his head back, exposing his jaw line and a long expanse of tanned neck. Angel's eyes had shone with love. Wesley was voluntarily offering himself to his lover. There was no trace of fear or revulsion and most importantly, no pity. Wesley wasn't doing this because he felt sorry for Angel. He did it because he had given all that he could, and now wanted to give more. Always at extremes. The magnitude was overwhelming for the vampire and he was lost gazing at the smooth neck stretched in love.
Tonight would be the second time Wesley wanted, no felt he needed to give. Warm arms came up to wrap around Angel's broad back, holding him against the sun that was Wesley. Slowly he rolled his head, covering Angel's face with his own, giving him the illusion of privacy. Angel pressed coolness into that special place, a familiar memory suddenly breaking to the surface. Angel slightly raised his head and they shared a look. Wesley had an idea what Angel was remembering and watched as his features softened with the memory.
Each night that Wesley went out to fight the darkness of LA made him appreciate the daylight even more. Truth was Wesley loved the sun and the way the warmth kissed his body like an intimate stranger. He never wanted to take for granted that he would always be able to see the sun. So when it rose high in the sky, Wesley would take time to lie out and allow the hot rays to make love to him; branding his body with color and memories -- of simpler times. One afternoon he discovered Angel sitting in the cool darkness of the hotel lobby, watching intensely while the sun bathed him. Wesley had immediately thought to come inside. It felt cruel that he should be able to experience this when Angel might never have another chance to feel sunlight on his skin. But a look from the vampire froze him to the spot. The deep penetrating stare held - happiness. He imperceptibly shook his head and Wesley remained where he was. Only now the sun had to compete with the heat from the rich dark eyes scorching his body. They dueled, his two lovers, over which could heat his body more. Wesley finally relaxed enough to lie back, a red blush creeping to mingle with the golden brown of his sun-baked body. When his skin began to tingle from exposure to the heat, Wesley rose and went inside to find Angel waiting at the top of the stairs. Long legs took the steps two at a time and he crashed into the strong arms. The contrast in body temperature made them both hiss with delight. Angel greedily smelled and kissed over Wesley's hot skin, even using his tongue to lick when smelling wasn't enough to taste the heat. He cupped Wesley's face in large smooth hands and sniffed along his jaw line. Words followed after every inhaled scent of flesh. "You taste like memory -like mornings in Ireland.grass in the spring.sun flecked laughter.so sweet." Angel said in a whisper. Wesley's face was infused with nothing but love and pleasure at being able to bring Angel this moment of humanity. Angel loved who Wesley was but on some days there was no other reason to love him but for this - sunshine.
A rare smile creased Angel's face, even managing to reach his eyes. Wesley responded to the look by slowly rubbing his cheek against his lover's face, making the vampire smile just a little more. Wesley truly would have done anything to keep that smile in place, but things never seemed to work that way for them. His lips found Angel's strong nose and he kissed the tip. He hadn't realized he was holding on to Angel so tightly until his arm began to tremble from the exertion. Wesley didn't let go, instead he tightened his grip. He waited for the feeling of Angel's mouth against his neck. Angel listened as Wesley swallowed his heart beating slow and steady. Up close, in his ear, Angel's cool voice wormed its way in and refused to leave.
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Wesley heard Angel's voice echoing through his head when he returned to Virginia sleeping in their bed. One word wrapped around his shoulders like a friend, pulling him close to share a secret. Pulling him close as he showered in the morning, regret beating into his flesh, stinging and burning. Regret riding in the passenger side as he drove to meet Gunn and Cordy on a case. Pulling him close when he stepped through the doors of the Hyperion. Screaming inside his head. The closer he came to Angel, the louder the voice became, until that was all Wesley heard.
"Congratulations."
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