~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Liam." A voice made Angel turn, and suddenly he was displaced from the scene, watching as the much younger Irish version of himself tickled his sister. Instead, in front of him, stood a pretty brunette, braids in her hair, ringlets falling down and framing her face. "Ah, you know not who I am." She smiled, holding out her arms. "'Tis I, Kathy."
Angel stared, "But I...I..."
"No." She said simply, "A demon killed me a long time ago, 't was not you, brother." Her brown eyes met his and then looked away to the scene of both their younger alter-ego's. "I imagine you're wondering why you...why indeed WE are both here? Remember the stories you used to tell me Liam? That story when Fluffy, my kitten died? That somewhere, in Heaven she was growing up. It's true. In a place that's different from here, you and I, we're the best of friends." She smiled, "You and Father get along better...and he's proud of you." Kathy straightened her spine, "In that world, vampires don't exist. Demons are a thing of the imagination and everyone lives happily ever after." She paused then and began to walk, waiting for Angel to follow, "In your world, vampires are very real, demons a harsh reality and...you have the chance to live happily ever after. And Father, though he cannot say it, is proud of you in that world too."
Angel watched as she smiled, "I don't understand..." He said quietly.
His sister, folded him into her arms and hugged him, kissing his forehead gently before pulling back. "You will, Liam. You will."
****
Perhaps what was most disturbing about the next parts, was that Angel
was seeing these things from Cordelia's point of view, seeing everything
that would, could happen...it made him sick to his stomach and Angel watched,
in silence, remebering something she'd said about her visions...that she
not only saw things, but felt them too...was this what she felt?
"There are places between waking and dreaming where awareness lingers, but volition does not." Said Dream Wesley.
Dream Cordelia turned, "What?"
Dream Wesley continued, "Where you know that something's approaching your bed, say, or even touching you, yet you are powerless to move. You can't wake up, can't cry out, it's really quite terrifying."
"It's happening to me now, isn't it?" Asked Dream Cordelia.
"I imagine so, yes." Replied Dream Wesley, promptly disappearing.
~It's happening to me now.~ Thought Cordelia in her deep, dreamless state of sleep. ~Something's here now, something that shouldn't be here. Angel...help me? Please.~
"What is it?" Asked Dream Cordelia, frightened, looking at Wesley, who had reappeared, now stood with a little child, looking up at him expectantly.
"Apathy." Stated Dream Wesley. "The absence of good which is far worse than evil."
"Like that little boy? The one...with the icky demon? But only...not?" Asked Dream Cordelia.
Instead of Dream Wesley answering her, the child did. "This time, Apathy has a different face." She whispered, "I've seen it...I know what it looks like. It killed me...then mother and father."
Dream Cordelia looked down, "How do we stop it?"
"You don't." Said the child, "You can't, at least." She shook her head. "A good person though you may be, you can't stop this."
"Why?" Asked Dream Cordelia.
"Because you'll always look." Said the child quietly, "You'll always look for that shred of goodness in him. You'll always look for the person he once was, not the person he's become."
"I don't understand." Said Dream Cordelia.
"You will." Said the child, melting into obscurity, her voice still a whisper, "You will."
Cordelia lay there, could feel evil - pure evil - or, no, Apathy. The absence of good. Far worse than evil.
"Cordelia." Said a voice from...it could have been anywhere - behind her, in front, coming from all sides - but she turned, nonetheless.
"Xander."
"It rests with you now." He stated.
Dream Cordelia frowned, "What rests with me, what's going on?" She asked.
"Let's just say, Buffy's...out of her game right now, being all protectory. You have to do this, Cordelia. No one else can." Said Dream Xander.
"What? I...but...the little girl just told me that I couldn't stop it." She said, shaking her head. "She says I'll look for a shred of goodness in him...but...who's him?" She asked. Nothing made sense.
"You think you know. What's to come. But you don't. You have no idea." Said Dream Xander, fading away again.
Cordelia frowned, "I already have *one* cryptic guy in my life...I don't need two."
"Hullo Princess." A voice spoke from behind her and Cordelia froze...she was back in old Angel Investigations, the old offices, before they'd been blown up.
"Now I know I'm dreaming." She whispered.
"Well, I'm not gonna argue with ye on that one. Aren't ye gonna at least turn round?" He asked.
Dream Cordelia shook her head, "No."
So, not one to be beaten, the little Irish man stepped in front of her, smiling that lopsided grin of his. "If this is a dream...can I hug you?" Asked Dream Cordelia.
Dream Doyle couldn't supress the grin. "Course ye can Princess." She stepped forward, into inviting arms. "I've missed you so much."
"And I you..." He replied, smiling, her warm body next to his causing an uplifting rush of warmth into an unbeating heart. "Well Princess, ye've got quite a few months ahead of ye...I wish I could be there in the flesh t' help ye...but...I can only be there in spirit."
"Doyle...please? Will you tell me what's going on?" She asked, her head aching from confusion, pain. Gently he pressed his lips to her forehead, "I'm sorry luv, but ye'll have to handle this one all on yer own. Ye can get the British Guy and the kid to help but...it's down to you."
"You know..." Said Dream Cordelia, pulling back, tears shining in her eyes, "I'm hearing that a *lot* lately - but what's down to me? What's going on?"
"Good luck Cordy."
"Can I wake up now?" Thought Cordelia, sadly. Seeing Doyle like that had...
"Cordelia." Said a quiet voice. ~I do a lot of turning round in this dream.~ Thought Cordelia as she turned. "Angel." They were back in the Nursery now, Darla and Drusilla nowhere to be seen. "Are you alright?" She stepped closer to him, a cut on his forehead bleeding profusely, "You're hurt." She said softly, reaching up to dab the wound with her hankerchief. Dream Angel grabbed her hand, "Actually, I've never been better." Suddenly, Angel was behind her, his fangs poised at her neck and Cordelia let out a gasp, "Angel?" She whispered.
Then, Dream Angel was standing in front of her, pressing her hand to his chest, his demon face showing through. "Angel?" She whispered again, looking down at the stake in her hand, pressed to his chest, drawing blood - but just a little.
"Do it." He growled, "Kill me - avenge their deaths." He gestured to the floor behind and Cordelia looked down, gasping as the bodies of Wesley, Gunn and the child from before swam into focus, throats ripped out. She turned back to Dream Angel, a hint of blood playing at the corner of a sneer. "Angel...no..." She whispered, shaking her head.
Raising his fist and striking her, Dream Angel growled, "Pay attention - Angel's dead. Now it's your chance...avenge their deaths." Looking up into chocolate eyes, Cordelia noticed that Dream Angelus has switched back to Dream Angel, she pressed the stake a little further, her hands trembling. "Angel?" She whispered, looking down at the stake and then back up, that smirk haunting her. Then, Dream Angel laughed, "Wrong, Cordelia, Angel's dead." And with that, Dream Angelus bent, sinking fangs into her neck...
Cordelia was panicking to say the least, being shown...this...this chain of events like this was leaving her wondering what was going on, tears streamed down her face, falling onto the crimson shirt she wore, then a voice...
"I...what happened?" Dream Angel spoke, his voice full of bewilderment.
"You don't remember." Cordelia's attention turned to Wesley, she was there, but for some reason she knew that they couldn't see her.
"No..." Said Angel, "I..."
"You tricked her. You tricked her into thinking that everything she loved she'd lost in a matter of minutes."
"H-how?" Whispered Dream Angel, "How could I..."
"You made her see. See that her friends, that the people she loved, trusted the most were gone and by your hand. And then...you killed her." Said Dream Wesley, quietly. All of a sudden, Wesley looked old, so very very old.
Angel was beginning to remember, "He gave her the chance to kill him...why didn't she take it?" He asked, stunned.
Dream Wesley let out a sigh, "Because she was waiting for you." He said quietly, "She was waiting for you to appear...like you had done before. That's what killed her..."
"You think you know. What's to come. But you don't. You have no idea."
Xander's words rang in her ears as Cordelia awoke with a gasp, her breathing coming in laboured gasps, panicking, Cordelia clutched her chest, it felt like she were dying inside. "No..." She sobbed, "Please no..."
****
"She dreamt that?" Asked Angel, quietly. Kathy, reappearing at his side, shook her head, "No Liam...she lived it...in the place between dreams where sleep waits..." Said his sister softly.
Angel winced, "No..." He murmured.
"Had enough yet?" When the now human Angel turned, he was faced with her. Buffy Anne Summers, the Slayer, the Chosen One. "C'mon, Angel...we both know you're weak..." She said, a smirk on her face. "Why not save yourself a lot of pain and heartache and give up?"
Angel frowned, "I WON'T let this beat me."
Buffy laughed, "Angel...didn't you get it the last time?" She asked, "Sooner or later, she'd have to kill you and why? Because of your sacrifice."
Angel scowled, "Sacrifice?"
Buffy smiled, "Remember the people you killed last time around? That's NOTHING compared to what'll happen this time." She said, her laughter ringing in his ears. "It's quite sad really, you give up your life to save hers. You get...the technical term is TOO Happy...and then you turn into Mr. Killing Spree again. Life's a bitch, huh Angel?" She laughed. "The Powers want to see to it that you're NEVER happy and they'll make sure they do it too. Because Happy Angel means 'no longer on their payroll' Angel. Their warrior is gone." Buffy shook her head, "This isn't about you, it's never about you...and you fall for it every time. It's about what you GIVE to the Powers, Angel. We're all pawns in their greater game. I died...hey presto, months later, here I am...ringing any bells?"
Angel looked at her, "What are you saying?" He asked.
"You're playing right into their hands." She whispered, "And only YOU can stop it..."