Summary: Cordelia and Fred are invited to Anya's bachelorette party down in Sunnydale. A jealous Angel follows behind, certain that Cordelia's about to reunite herself with former love, Xander
Notes: Response to "The I Have A Penis So Someone Else Has To Write This Story Challenge"
*Okay, no matter how much Will & Grace I watch, I'm still a little too male to do this story right...so here's what I'm talking about:Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine...NOT MINE!
*Fred and Cordy go to Sunnydale, and have a girls night out. Not being a girl, I'm not too familiar with anything but the cleanup.
*Drunk Fred. And I do mean drunk.
*Embarassing Revelations of the Romantic Variety
Author's Note: Just to clear it up, 'Hen Night' is the same as a 'Bachelorette Party' lol...sorry for the confusion!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 1~ "One Tequila, Two Tequila"
Cordelia stood at the counter, applying her make up, a nervous Angel hovering over her shoulder. //Okay, what I don't get is why they invited me. Me. Cordelia Chase, Self Professed Queen of Mean and they've invited me to Anya's hen night. I can't say no...'cause that'll just look petty. And we're all going down in a few days time anyway for the wedding so one night isn't really going to matter is it? Although, if Angel has anything to do with it...//
"Do you have to go?" //He's practically whining! Dork.//
"Yes. If I don't show up it's just gonna look petty, like I'm not over Xander or something..." Placing her make-up bag down on the counter, Cordelia watched as Angel shuffled nervously on his feet. "What?" She asks, exasperated.
"Aren't you?" He asks quietly.
"Aren't I what?" //God, does he *get* more cryptic with every sentence?//
"Over Xander?" Angel's voice became kind of...quiet then, like he were almost afraid to ask the question. //Is he...no...he's not...he IS! Angel's jealous! Of Xander. And I can't help but laugh.// "Oh please! I was over Xander...funnily enough, not long after I had a rebar shoved through my stomach, ringing any bells? I figured my loser magnetism wouldn't last my inevitable stardom in LA so...I got rid..."
Cordelia stood, calling up the stairs, "Fred! Are you ready?"
A muffled shout came back down, "Ercantairdis..."
Cordelia frowned, "What the...WHAT?"
Angel pouted, "Cordelia...what if Connor wakes up? You know you're the only one who can get him to sleep."
"Then it's about time you learned, 'Grrr guy'." Said Cordelia with a grin, "He has to get to know his Daddy and showing him your vamp face isn't a way to shut him up...FRED!"
She showed up at the top of the stairs, wearing...that God awful sack from Pylea. "Ready." She smiled. "Fred, that isn't the dress I gave you." Said Cordelia, shaking her head.
"It uhm...it was ripped...and it didn't fit in with the parallels of my body..." Stammered Fred. "I CAN'T WEAR THIS!" //Ah, so that's what she said upstairs...//
"Sack. Off." Said Cordelia, folding her arms across her chest. Reluctantly, Fred pulled the sack from her body to reveal a deep blue dress, short...sleeveless...and admittedly, looked better on her than it did Cordelia.
"Angel, I've been going over the...wumph..." Wesley stopped in his tracks seeing Fred.
"You've been going over the WUMPH?" Asked Cordelia, stifling a giggle.
"Is that like a new...thing? Should we be researching? Do I need to stay here?" Asked Fred, hopefully. Cordelia frowned, "Wesley would have made a completely sane comment had he not noticed how hot you look in that dress. Am I right, or am I right?"
"Well...I mean...of course...you look...stunning...I mean...wonderful." Stuttered Wesley. Cordelia laughed as Fred blushed, then looked at Angel, mock-accusingly, "How come you never look at *me* like that?" She asked. Angel sighed, ~If only you knew the half of it.~
*****
//He brooded. He brooded, pouted, whined, moaned, sulked and even resorted to trying to get Connor to say 'Ma-Ma' to the point where I snapped and hit him upside the head with my lip brush. I'm only going to be away from him for...what? Nine hours? Dork.//
"I can't believe Angel let us take the car!" Said Fred, bouncing happily in the seat.
Cordelia smiled at this, "Yeah, that's only 'cause he wants it back by tomorrow night and that's a surefire way to bring me home."
"Well, yeah..." Said Fred, "But...your time runs at least three hours after everyone elses..."
Cordelia scowled, "I'll have you know my time keeping is very...accurate..." She said then laughed, "Okay...maybe not...oh, look. Home sweet home." The Welcome To Sunnydale sign came into view and Fred suddenly got nervous, "Will your friends like me, or will they think..."
"Woah, back up there...friends? Nuh-uh...acquaintances, yes. And yes, they'll like you." Parking the car outside the Bronze and taking the keys WITH this time, Cordelia led Fred inside the club. "Wow...wow...WOW!" Said Fred, "I was too young to go places like this before I went to Pylea...but...wow!" Cordelia smiled, the Bronze really had changed, it still wasn't as good as LA (smug thoughts, smug thoughts) and its nightlife - not that Cordelia *had* much to base that on but it was still pretty good for being in Sunnydale and all. Making their way over to the table where Anya, Buffy and Willow sat, Cordelia smiled, "Hey..."
She was receiving shocked looks from the lot of them...WHY?
"Cordelia you're being...nice!" Said Willow. Cordelia's mood instantly darkened somewhat, "I am? Better change that then...guys, I'd like you to meet Winifred Burkle, my best friend." Winifred Burkle beamed at Cordelia, and then her friends, "Hi..." She said shyly.
"I'm Buffy, this is Willow and this is Anya, the Bride to Be." Said Buffy, introducing the others.
"Hello." Said Anya with a bright smile, "Did you bring a gift?" Buffy laughed, "Anya...Wedding...Gift's come at the Wedding. So, how's...everyone in LA?" Asked Buffy, trying to maintain a degree of casualness.
"You mean, everyone meaning the guy who broods a hell of a lot and goes by the name of Angel?" Said Cordelia, for some reason getting a little annoyed at this, "Fine...and thanks for asking, Wesley's fine too." She said brusquely. "Drink anyone?" Cordelia stood and walked away quickly, having to remind herself to breathe.
"What's her deal?" Asked Anya. Fred, a little miffed at being left alone with people she'd only just met, shook her head, "In love with someone and she doesn't even know it yet..."
*****
"Angel, calm down, Cordelia can hold her own!" Said Gunn, shaking his head.
"It's not *her* holding her own I'm worried about...it's someone *else* holding her own..." Said Angel, now having convinced himself that she was still in love with Xander and had gone to claim him as hers again.
"Okay, come on. Haven't got all night. Sun'll be up in a few hours time." Said Angel, carrying his son up towards the steps of the hotel. "What? Where are we going?" Asked Wesley.
"Sunnydale."
"Angel, this is madness..." Said Wesley, "You're acting like a jealous teenager and..."
"Evening kiddies..." The green, Anagogic Demon bounded into the hotel, impressively chirpy considering his LACK of nightclub, place to sell his wares. "Ooh, look at Mr Tall Dark and Feminine...anyone else feeling a kodak moment coming on?"
Connor gurgled and pointed at Angel, "Da-da..." Then promptly, burst into tears. "See!" Said Angel, triumphantly, "He wants his Mom...who am I to deprive him of anything? Sssshhh..." He tried to soothe his child and then, realising he had no other option, began to sing the song that Cordelia sang to soothe him every night.
'Baby mine, don't you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes
Rest your head, close to my heart
Never to part, baby you're mine'
"Ooh, *love* the use of Disney there, AngelCakes but...if I were you...I'd be hot-footing it to Sunnydale, right now..." Said Lorne.
Angel's head snapped up, "What? Why?" He asked.
"A demon...a big, green eyed monster..."
"I'll get the weapons..." Said Wesley, running up the stairs as Angel got into Gunn's truck, along with The Host, Gunn...and seconds later, Wesley. "Drive. Fast." Said Angel, a growl erupting in his throat.
~Part: 2~ "Three Tequila, Four Tequila, Five Tequila..."
"No really, I was shtuck in a WHOOOLLLLEEEE big other dimension thingy!" Said Fred, giggling as she waved her arms to encompass the size of the 'whole' she meant.
"So, we've established it was big then?" Said Anya, grinning at Cordelia, Willow and Buffy.
"Fred?" Said Cordelia softly, "I think you've had a little TOO much to drink..."
"Pssshhtt, naw! I can handle my drink!" Said Fred, having knocked back a series of Tequila Slammers. "Okay, so I've mightn't have had much in the ways of practish but..." Fred burped, giggled and promptly slid from the seat she inhabited to the floor. "Ouchee...ma butt..."
Cordelia couldn't help but laugh. "Fred, you're such a dork!" The awkwardness of before had been forgotten about, at least on Cordelia's part anyway and they'd been having a great time. Anya was *very* pleased with her hat. Buffy and Willow had stuck a learner driver plate on her hat along with a mock veil and various shapes and sizes of coloured and non-coloured condoms. Dangling from her wrist were a pair of handcuffs, pink fluffy ones...to which Anya had exclaimed, "Ooh! Xander has a pair just like it!" Eliciting giggles from the rest of the group. "I don't want to know about Xander's sexual habits, thank you." Said Cordelia, laughing.
"Oh please...don't pretend like you're not jealous!" Said Anya, shaking her head, "You totally want him!"
Cordelia almost spat out her drink, "What is it with people thinking I'm hung up on Xander?" She asked. "Angel was the same before we..."
"Jealous! Angel was the jealous one!" Laughed Fred, "And Wesley...he's just a big ol' sweetie..."
"Hung up on WESLEY?" Asked Willow, "This just can't get more disturbing..."
"Well, excuse me Miss 'I Think I'll Be A Lesbian Now'..." Snapped Cordelia, immediately rising to the defence of her friend. "Talk about disturbing...I mean, one minute you're all lusting after a guy and then next your requirements have changed to anything without a penis?"
Willow blushed profusely but then the entire gang started to laugh as Fred squeaked, "You bat for the home team?"
"Uh...I don't think you're supposed to say that to a girl." Said Buffy, grinning.
"I thought I was tactless." Said Anya, shaking her head and grinning.
"You are!" Said Willow, laughing, "I've never known anyone talk as much about orgasms as you and..." She looked up, something catching her eye, "Buffy, vampire." The Slayer's head snapped up and she blushed, "It's only Spike...it's not like he can harm anyone..."
"'Ello girls... *SLAYER*..." Said the peroxide vampire pointedly, "And 'ow's things in this corner of the Bronze."
"Spike...this is a GIRL'S night...no guys allowed, do you *remember* the concept?" Asked Buffy, sarcastically. "How did you get in anyway?"
"Showed muh teeth to the guy on the door...thought it was scary." Said the neutered vampire, proudly. "See, still some of the big bad left...but you know that better than anyone, right slayer?" Buffy's cheeks flamed and she glared at the blonde vampire, "Spike...bite me..."
The other girls watched as sexual tension crackled in the air, Spike sidling up to Buffy and whispering, "Been there, done that luv..."
Buffy whirled round to whack him but Spike caught her wrist, "Now now slayer..." He chastised, grinning, then, his face slid into a genuine smile, "Want to dance, pet?" The tenderness in his eyes had Cordelia, Willow and Anya almost salivating whereas Fred giggled, "Nice monster..."
She picked herself up off the floor and stood next to Spike, sniffing him. Spike's eyes widened, "Uh...what's she?" He asked, puzzled.
Cordelia yanked Fred from the ever-grinning Spike who was sort of liking having the women's undivided attention, "She's human..."
"Yes, just strange." Said Anya, nodding emphatically.
"Pot calling the kettle black..." Murmured Willow, rolling her eyes and watching as Spike led Buffy out onto the dancefloor...WILLINGLY!
"I wanna dance!" Fred jumped up and went over to the dance floor, swaying her hips (what she thought was seductively) on the dancefloor next to a three foot stud (no, not a horse) by the name of Jonathon. Willow gasped, "Uh...Cordelia, we need to save Fred..."
The three girls got up, sashaying towards Fred, in time to hear her say, "But...you're lovely...you're so sweet and you make my head feel kinda fuzzy and it's nice. You make me get these feelings somewhere I shouldn't really get them and..."
Cordelia yelped, pulling Fred away from an embarassed Jonathon, "You do *not* love him." Said Cordelia pointedly.
Jonathon looked up at Cordelia Chase, she was different from High School, "No...she doesn't." He said simply, "It's my aftershave she loves..."
Cordelia groaned, "Fred!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hurry!" Barked Angel at Gunn, glaring at the younger man.
"English, if you don't tell him to stop criticising my driving I'm gonna turn round and go right back to LA..." Bit back Gunn, shaking his head.
"As fascinating as this is, Children..." Said Lorne, "I have to pee..." The green demon frowned as Angel told him unequivocally to 'hold it'. "As much as my penis is certainly a friend, I don't feel comfortable 'holding it' in front of others." Said Lorne, "STOP the car. Besides, your son's gonna want something to drink and you can't deprive him..."
Knowing he was right, Angel frowned, "Okay...next gas station, we stop..."
"Geez..." Said Gunn, "Angel, you gotta calm down...Cordy's gonna be fine..."
"Did you hear what he said?" Asked Angel, "GREEN-EYED demon...not fun. How many green eyed demons are there?"
Lorne sighed, "From where I'm sitting, I can see only one." He said cryptically. Had Angel not been sprinting into the Gas Station, he would have caught that last comment...however, Gunn and Wesley both caught the comment and looked at the Anagogic Demon, puzzled. "You mean...Angel's jealousy is the...demon?" They asked.
"In all kindsa ways..." Said Lorne with a slight smile, "Let's just say, you've gotta be cruel to be kind..."
~Part: 3~ "Six Tequila, Seven Tequila..."
"No time to explain, here." Angel held the baby away from him, Lorne stood behind him with a bag of diapers, Gunn with a bag of food and Wesley armed with all the baby books in the world...or the Hyperion at least.
Xander Harris stood, looking at Angel, "Woah, what? Angel, shirking your responsibilities is..."
"Who's shirking? I'm not shirking I'm...asking a friend to baby sit for me?" Said Angel hopefully.
"When did we get to the friendship phase, Dead boy?" He asked, taking the child from Angel and smiling, "Hey Connor...who's a lovely widdle baby b...what?" Xander stopped at the strange looks he was getting from Angel, "Don't tell me you don't go all gooey around your kid." He said defiantly.
"He sang Disney earlier, the great big sap..." Said Lorne, grinning.
Xander grinned, "And here I thought you only knew Barney..." He waited for the others to catch on and shook his head, "Oz would've got that..." Xander looked at Connor, then up at Angel, "Okay dead boy...you got it, I'll look after him. Just...don't stay out late. He's your child, you made your bed, you can lie in it..."
"WHAT is he talkin' about?" Asked Gunn, puzzled.
"Parent euphemisms..." Explained Wesley with a smile.
"And in English that would be..." Said Gunn, even MORE puzzled.
"That was bloody English..." Said Wesley through gritted teeth, "He's...pretending to be a parent...responsible..."
"Works better than it does in real life." Said Angel, pointedly, handing Xander the other stuff, "My card's in there. It has my cell...if you can't get through on that Wesley's is in there and Gunn's pager. Failing that we should be at the Bro..."
"Angel! I'm not dumb...I've looked after a kid before!" Said Xander.
"Somehow, I doubt that first part very much..." Replied Angel and turned, walking off down the corridor, casting a last worried glance at his son.
Xander glanced down at the child in his arms, "Stick with me kid..." He grinned, impersonating his best Marlon Brando voice. However, Connor didn't seem to like it...and saw fit to place a small fist into Xander's eye with a *thwump*...
"You can *so* tell you're your father's kid..." Said Xander, tears filling up his eyes. Of course...this wasn't from Connor...he'd just got a bit of...dust or...something in them...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Fred! You have to sit!" Said Cordelia, laughing. The others were laughing too, a very Tequila Slammer-ed Fred, had just confessed her undying love...for Jonathon's cologne.
"Don't wanna!" Said Fred, "Want more tequila!" She lunged for the table, intent on grabbing the bottle, when Spike grabbed her round the waist, "Not for you, luv...think you've had quite enough..."
"Mmm...vampire smell nice..." Said Fred, attaching her nose to Spike's upper torso, "Angel smell nice...but Angel Cordelia's! You the Slayer's! Me want a vampire!" Cordelia blushed, Buffy blushed, Spike grinned, then Cordelia yelled, "HUH?! Angel isn't *mine*..."
"Denial's the first sign of love, Dorcelia..." Said Fred, wagging a finger and giggling at her mistake.
"Great..." Said Cordelia, "I'm getting love advice from O Drunken One of Another Dimension...next I'll be getting fashion advice from the pale, undead and creepy one..." Said the brunette, gesturing to Spike.
"HEYYY!" Said Spike indignantly, "There's nothing wrong with my attire!"
Cordelia laughed, good naturedly, "Oh please...did you have to kill an entire flock of cows to look *that* stupid?"
"Herd." Replied Spike, slightly miffed.
"What?"
"HERD!" He repeated.
"Heard what?" Cordelia raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow.
"H-E-R-D!" Yelled Spike, "HERD OF COWS...God, are you always this stupid? It's FLOCK of SHEEP and HERD of COWS!"
"Boy, you really like your animals, dontcha?" Asked Fred, giggling. The others burst into laughter and Spike shook his head, "Dunno why I bleedin' bother..." He said, rolling his eyes. A presence at his side made Spike look up. Noticing Angel standing at the corner with the other poufy watcher, a black kid and a green demon, Spike thought he'd put a couple of theories to the test. Knowing his sire would know that he'd had sex in the past couple of days, (vampire senses left a lot to be desired) he grabbed Cordelia and pulled her close, delighting at the EXTREMELY pissed off look on Buffy's face, "Dance with me Dorcelia..." He grinned. Of course, Fred's scent was mingled with Buffy's but Cordelia, being the last one against his body would make the 'Green Eyed Monster' that was Angel believe he'd had sex with her.
"Ew!" Cordelia pushed him away, "I think NOT..."
Angel was over in a second, having spotted his Seer moments after she'd pushed Spike away. "Cordelia I..." Suddenly, he stopped. Yellow (but not quite yet green) eyes turned on Spike. "You had sex with her, didn't you?" He asked, a growl erupting in his throat. Spike smirked, Angel was playing *right* into his hands, "Yeah? What of it mate..."
A punch to the jaw sent Spike sprawling. The music stopped and Angel whipped round on Cordelia, "You had sex with *him*?" He asked.
Cordelia's eyes widened, "HUH?" She stared at him incredulously, "Are you INSANE?"
Spike stumbled to his feet...only to be knocked down again by a knee to the groin from Buffy. "YOU'RE TWO TIMING ME? WITH *HER*?"
"Wasn't...aware...I was bloody...one timing you luv..." Choked out Spike. His plan had *so* backfired. Cordelia however didn't like the ...with HER...thing attached to Buffy's sentence. "And what's THAT supposed to mean?" She asked.
"Uh...can we establish the how and why for BUFFY IS JEALOUS PART?" Asked Willow, "You're having SEX...with SPIKE?"
Buffy blushed, then frowned, looking at Angel, "What's that supposed to mean...with *HIM*?" She asked, "What's wrong with *him*?"
"What's right with him?" Retorted Angel. "I thought *you* would know better!" He said, glaring at Cordelia.
"Oh, wait a minute..." Said Buffy, "I get it...I'm only allowed to sleep with ONE of your kind, is that right?"
"No!" Said Angel, "I just have trouble with dealing with the fact that *she* slept with Spike." He jabbed a finger in Cordelia's direction.
"Oh, so it's okay that I'm sleeping with Spike, but not her?" Asked Buffy angrily then gasped. "Uh...what I meant was..."
"I AM NOT HAVING SEX WITH SPIKE!" Yelled Cordelia. "I wouldn't touch him with HERS!" She said, pointing to Buffy.
At that, the group in the middle of the argument noticed the laughter. Wesley was clinging to Fred, tears streaming down both their cheeks laughing. And Lorne was leaning against a post, where Gunn had took up position next to Anya - all creased with laughter.
"What's SO funny?" Asked Cordelia, frowning.
Lorne managed to control himself long enough to say, "You just got visited by the Green Eyed Demon, sweetcheeks..."
Both Cordelia and Buffy glared at their counterparts, "We *so* need to talk..."
And at that, Fred took it upon herself to feel particularly queasy...and then a little sick...and then a *lot* sick and then...Wesley was stroking the back of her hair softly as she vomitted relentlessly on his shoes. "Ah, young love..." Smiled Lorne.
~Part: 4~ "Eight Tequila, Floor!"
"Ugh...I believe this is what's known as...alcohol pukage..."
Wesley chuckled at the comment made by Fred. Her sentences usually ran in with each other, held no coordination with the previous one and had words too odd for even *him* to process. And he thought it was adorable. Huddled over the basin, Fred leaned her head against the cool marble, having only just recovered from the 'alcohol pukage' from before. Gently, he took her arm, leading her over to the single bed in the hotel room. "Come on, Fred." He said softly.
"No...basin...pukage again!" She said, shaking her head vehemently, causing herself to become more dizzy. Wesley smiled, "I was in the Boy Scouts, our motto, Always Be Prepared." In his hand he held a small jug, "I imagine you'll feel a lot better if you lie down." He said softly. Nodding, and trying not to vomit again, Fred let Wesley lower her gently to the bed.
"Cordelia was real mad, wasn't she?" Asked Fred, meeting Wesley's eyes. Smiling, he nodded, "It'll blow over in a few days."
"I dunno, I think Angel might have serious Grovellage to do..." Said Fred, shaking her head. "But they'll make it through...Kye-rumption."
"Isn't that Grog made of Ox dung?"
Fred's stomach lurched at the idea of food in Pylea, "No silly...that's the *other* kind...this kind is when two great heroes meet on the field of battle and recoginize their mutual fate. Cordelia with the heroicism and the visions and...Angel with the herocisim and the other stuff." She said nodding. "It would remind me of us..." Started Fred, sleepily, "But I'm no hero..."
Watching as she yawned, Wesley's heart skipped a beat...or rather jumped an entire note... "What?" He asked stunned.
"Well...maybe we can just have rumption...or kye..." Whispered Fred as her eyes closed, "I hear both are nice..."
"Indeed." Smiled Wesley, glancing down as Fred snuggled into his arms.
*****
"We were SUPPOSED to have sex!" Said Anya, indignantly, glaring at Xander, arms folded across her chest. "We have sex EVERY night! And what the friggin' heck is that black eye?! We're getting married in TWO days and you have a black eye!" She said, jabbing a finger furiously at Xander's eye where Connor had punched him.
"Shhh!" Said Xander quickly, "I just got the baby to sleep! You can't come in here all...tequila-ed up and shout your mouth off, you'll wake the baby! And it took me ages too! I had to sing DISNEY!"
"I wanted sex...and now *we* can't have any because of the baby." Said Anya.
"Ah, the joys of parenthood..." Said Xander, flopping down on the couch and sighing, exhausted.
"We aren't PARENTS!" Hissed Anya. "Are you going off me? Did you tell Angel to bring Connor here so we couldn't have sex?" She asked, suddenly suspicious.
Xander stared at her, stunned, "WHAT? Are you crazy? No!!" He said, shaking his head, "And besides, if I was going off you, which would NEVER happen, I wouldn't bring a baby into this...that would come...after or...earlier or something..." He said confused.
Anya trailed her fingers down his chest, "So does that mean we can..." She raised her eyebrows suggestively.
Xander shook his head adamantly, "No! Dead boy would string me up if he knew I..."
"How will Angel know?" She asked grinning.
Xander grinned right back, reaching over to switch off the lights. "Good thing Dead Boy Junior's asleep..." He murmured.
*****
"Slayer, listen to me..."
"SHUT UP." She said quickly. "I don't WANT to talk to you, I don't WANT to look at you, I don't WANT to listen to you. Get me?" Asked Buffy, thoroughly annoyed. They'd all gone their separate ways, Cordelia and Angel in one direction, Wesley and the drunk girl in another, Fred and Anya, Willow, Gunn and the...Lorne, the demon...in the other. And Buffy, predictably, was stuck with Spike.
"I didn't sleep with Cordelia! She's too bloody skinny for my liking...not enough meat to...what?" Buffy was looking daggers at him.
"Are you now saying I'm fat?" She asked.
Spike groaned, "What is it with you women? I WAS TRYING TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS YOU STUPID BINT!" He roared, tossing his hands up in the air.
"By saying Cordelia's...'skinny'..." She mocked, "And implying that I'm not?"
"Much have you had to drink, luv?" Asked Spike, shaking his head wearily. "You kicked me in the bloody bollocks..." He pointed out.
"*You* slept with Cordelia."
"I DIDN'T!"
"Well you *said* you did! And you made me say in front of all my friends that I slept with you!" Said Buffy indignantly.
"And that's wrong, why?"
"Because it's very gross!" She exclaimed. "It's horrid and wrong and..."
"You still want it." Cut in Spike.
Buffy's cheeks flushed, but she still glared at him, "You had no right to do that!" She said.
"Tell you what luv...when you figure out what you want, give me a call and I'll come runnin'...seems like I always do." Spike stalked off and Buffy winced, the words being the exact ones Riley said to her not long before he left.
"Spike, don't go." She whispered, but he was gone.
*****
Angel was having even LESS luck than Spike. "Bite me." She said simply, walking along the street, arms folded across her chest. She was shivering from the cold and yet Cordelia *still* refused to take his coat from him when he offered it. "And again, I say bite me."
"Cordelia I..."
"Not listening." She said quickly.
"You're making this incredibly..."
"Still not listening, Angel."
"Difficult." He finished, frowning. Then, "Oh, shit! Connor!"
Cordelia's eyes were immediately on him, "What's wrong?" She asked, panic flitting through her eyes. Connor...no...he had to be okay...
"Nothing's wrong...I just haven't picked him up from Xander's yet..."
"WHAT?" Cordelia sputtered, "YOU LEFT CONNOR WITH *XANDER*???" She stared at Angel, "Please tell me that you and I fell into the twilight zone?"
Angel looked at her sheepishly, "Uhm..." Cordelia stalked off, Angel trailing behind her saying words that were NOT for the faint of heart...
** Minutes Later **
"Just a minute!" *scuffle*
"Be right ther...OW! Xander!"
Cordelia couldn't supress a grin as Anya and Xander arrived at the door, Anya's hair standing in angles Cordelia didn't know existed and Xander's shirt buttoned the wrong way. "Bad time?" She teased.
"Worst." Said Anya, "We were just about to have the orgas..."
"ORDER PIZZA!" Said Xander, clamping his hand over Anya's mouth as he spotted Angel. "So, Dead Boy, looking kinda...pale there..." He babbled.
Angel nodded, distracted, "Came to pick up my son." He said stoically.
Xander rolled his eyes, "Still haven't mastered the art of Social Conversation have you? It's polite to say, 'Hello Xander, how are you? How was your night of babysitting my child? How did..."
"Xander, shut up." Said Cordelia impatiently. "I'd like to go home sometime today..."
Anya, who had briefly disappeared from sight, reappeared again, laden with all the things Angel had brung along for Connor. "Here ya go!" She said, dumping them in Angel's arms and gesturing for Xander to go get the baby, "We'd like it if you didn't ask us to do it again."
Cordelia rolled her eyes and smiled as Xander handed her Connor. "No naughties you two..." She winked as she walked down the corridor, not stopping to help Angel with anything. ~Payback is a bitch.~ She thought to herself, still annoyed.
"Cordelia, I..."
"STILL NOT LISTENING!" She called out, frowning.
~Part: 5~ "Tequila...It Makes Me Happy..."
"Smile for the camera!" Said the annoyingly chirpy photographer.
Through gritted teeth, although still smiling, Cordelia spoke over her shoulder, "I told you...we act all nicey nice like a family should for Xander and Anya's sake."
Angel sighed, "Cordelia..." They pulled away and he looked at her, "Cordelia, I said I was sorry, how many times do you want to hear it?" He asked quietly.
"Don't do that! Don't do the Puppy Dog Eye thing! Connor does it too!" She snapped, taking a sip of her water. "Angel, this jealousy thing...you do it EVERY single time. The other night with Spike was no different. Imagine had that actually have been a real date!" She hissed. "I mean, come on! You don't OWN me Angel." She said, shaking her head.
"I never wanted to own you...I just...forget it." He sighed, walking away from her, leaving her wondering what the hell that was supposed to mean.
****
"Y'know, I seriously think Anya doesn't like me." Said Dawn, shuffling uncomfortably in her dress. The bridesmaid dresses Anya had picked out were nice, but a little too frilly for Dawn's liking, "I look like...a...a...I look ridiculous!" She said, frowning.
"They're not that bad...and...come on." Said Buffy, smiling. "We've gotta be at the front of the church like...now!"
Dawn, Buffy and Willow ran to the front of the church quickly, just in time to see Anya standing outside, arm clasped around Giles'. "Giles!" Said Willow breathlessly, "When did...when did you...get..."
Giles smiled, "It was a surprise...Anya asked me to give her away...I said yes..."
"I'm all nervous." Interjected Anya, "What if he runs away from me? I've seen that movie, with the woman with the big hair where she runs all the time..." She panicked.
"Anya...the WOMAN runs away!" Said Buffy, trying to reassure her.
"Well...what about that guy? The gay one...where the other gay one comes and convinces him he's gay and then he *is* gay and...I heard stories about Xander from Larry! He could be having homosexual tendencies and Tom Selleck could be there waiting!" Anya said, shaking.
"Uh...WHAT stories from Larry?" Asked Dawn. "And who's Tom Selleck?"
Buffy shook her head, "Never mind...point is, if he didn't want to marry you, he wouldn't have ASKED you, would he? He loves you Anya." She said softly.
Anya's eyes were brimming with tears, "I'm glad you're not dead any more." She whispered. "It wouldn't have been the same without you..."
Buffy smiled, "Thanks. Okay, are you okay to marry him now?" She asked, grinning.
Inside, Xander frowned, "I KNEW there was a reason I wanted this service during the daytime. So *you* couldn't come.*
"Oh, shut the hell up. I'm no more bloody pleased about being in this penguin suit than you are, Nancy Boy." Said Spike, adjusting his tie yet again.
Xander looked nervously at the clock, "What if she's had second thoughts?" He asked.
"Then I'd say bloody hurrah and bring on the Jack Daniels - the girl would've grown some brains!" Said Spike, rolling his eyes.
"Shut up Spike! Why I let Buffy talk you into being my best man is bey..."
"What?" Said Spike, glancing at Xander, "Buffy talked you into this?"
Just then, the notes for 'Here Comes The Bride' began to play......
*****
"I can't believe I'm Mrs. Xander Harris." Said Anya, laughing.
Cordelia, was miserable. Angel had avoided her gaze all evening, spent most of it with Buffy and she was annoyed about it. He hadn't even talked once to her. And from the look of it, Spike noticed too. Willow, Dawn, Gunn, Fred, Xander and Lorne helped keep the spirits up - Buffy and Angel being away from the table most of the time. She knew she'd been a little harsh with him but there was no need to ignore her all damned night. At least Connor cheered her up. Bouncing him on her knee, her eye caught a flash of Buffy and Angel, darting into the hallway. Slowly, she stood, following them and when she got there, balancing Connor on one hip, she listened as Angel spoke, silent tears running down her cheek...
"I wanna hold you so much...at long last..." She spun, not hearing any more of the words and went over to the table, handing Connor to Lorne, "Look after him." She whispered.
Fred stood, knocking over her drink, "What's wrong?" She asked softly, "Cordelia?"
Cordelia moved quickly, covering the distance of the floor until a voice over the microphone stopped her. "Uh, Spike...Cordelia?" Slowly, she turned, seeing Angel and Buffy in the spotlight. Folding her arms across her chest, Cordelia watched as the first notes of a song kicked up...
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
I love you baby and if it's quite all right
I need you baby to warm the lonely nights
I love you baby, trust in me when I say
Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray
Oh pretty baby, now that I've found you stay
And let me love you baby, let me love you
Angel and Buffy sang...making an idiot out of themselves albeit good naturedly and as the end notes finished, Buffy grabbed Spike and kissed him to cries of, "Can I be blind?" From Xander.
Angel walked over to her. "You're crying." He whispered, reaching out and stroking her face gently. Cordelia tried to look daggers at him but all she could do was giggle. "I thought you loved Buffy again...I heard you! In the hall!"
Angel gasped, "Practising...we were...I didn't know the words!" He said quickly.
Cordelia nodded, "Angel I..."
"I love you." He said simply, looking at her, "That's why I acted the way I did over Spike and all the other guys. I love you. I want you to...be a mother to Connor. He loves you about as much as I do." Reaching out, Angel pushed back a strand of her hairand smiled, "I love you baby and if it's quite alright, I need you ba..."
"Angel?" Said Cordelia softly. His eyes met hers and he nodded. "Don't sing." She whispered, reaching up and kissing his lips, gently. "I love you too." She whispered softly.
"ABOUT TIME!" Called Lorne across the reception room, then, "Jeez...get a room..."
"~END~"