Spoilers: Post-Tomorrow fic...
Summary: I just watched Tomorrow and am feeling rather angsty, as the title may suggest. An Angel POV fic. And no, Sebastian will *not* be singing Under The Sea. 'Cause it's not "better down where it's wetter" - take it from me!
Rating: R
Distribution: You can have it as long as I know where it is.
Dedication: To Jolie, for making the new layout to my website. She rocks.
Disclaimers: Not mine, you know the drill.
Author's Note: I'm actually getting caught up on my other fic (so NO pom-pom's required!!!) I just thought of this fic and it wouldn't let me go until I'd written it.
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People who don't know much about the night thinks that darkness falls from the sky. I know better. Darkness slides from the trees and fills them first, then spreads upwards to the open places. Occasionally, for some - the junkies and the outcasts of these worlds, darkness is better, darkness is comforting. These are the times where they can hide and no one would bother to notice they were there. Darkness was good.
Occasionally, darkness spread from a much more sinister place. Occasionally, darkness grips the heart and draws it into its grasp, curling icy tendrils around the ever-slowing insistent beat. The eternal torment. Alone with thoughts of the things I did and the things I regret not doing. I feel them all. They burn through me like a forest fire catching wind and spreading, causing destruction wherever it touches.
Darkness runs rife down here. The time has long passed since things came near to sniff at the lowly vampire, cast to eternal torment at the bottom of the ocean by the hand of his son. I hear something, perhaps a rumble up ahead and it reminds me only too well that I am lonely down here where my vision reaches into the darkness for some kind of light and never finds. It started with a girl - not just any girl, a breath of fresh air in the compressing, restricting cold. The light in the darkness. Her name? Cordelia. If I look hard enough, I can almost see her - but then, her memory fades away, leaving me wondering whether I ever knew her in the first place. There are moments, when they seem like hours, that I feel so totally alone. And it's in these moments, when her light seems so dim, so far away that I know that I'll never return from this place to her. Slowly but surely, my mind is fading, casting aside all that it knew and replacing it with darkness.
It hurts.
It hurts more than I can bear.
I feel shame that I don't remember. I feel shame that her touch is starting to mean less to me than it did. And then a memory - just one. It can pop into my head at any time and the torment doesn't seem ever-reaching. It's still there, that will never go away - but it no longer hurts so badly. Down here, I'm left with thoughts. Left to brood as she might have said, once upon a time. These days, it feels as if I do nothing but. I have no hope, she doesn't exist any more. A beautiful fantasy for a plagued mind that is slipping. Right now, I remember her eyes. Hazel eyes that stare so openly at me that it almost makes me weep. I can't tell if it does or not, the water washes my tears away.
And now, it's no longer shame I feel. I feel hunger. Bloodlust - and hers is the first face I see. Not the man, the one I tried to smother for a crime I don't remember. Not the nameless girl who wrote upon the walls of my hotel - but her. My hazel-eyed girl - I see her. I see her smiling and I want to remember her name, so I can call it out when I've drained her, whisper on a hairs breadth so close to her ear as I take my wrist and feed her my life's blood... Hers... The blood I borrowed from her so that I may live. I want to look upon her face as she takes her last breath and I know it's wrong. I know that I'd never hurt her, but right now, her blood is like an elixir. I'm a vampire living on borrowed time and the thought of her is what keeps me going. I don't know her name, I only know that I remember her eyes... I only know I remember her light and I keep looking.
It's lonely down here, so lonely.
And I fear that without my beautiful vision I may die.
Death would be a welcome relief.
I wouldn't want for something I never had to begin with.
My eternal torment begins again as my vision of her eyes slips away and instead, I face the insatiable hunger of a scent I licked from my fingers the night the dancers played... The night I watched my beautiful vision lay naked before me, for my touch...
She is the beauty. I am the beast.
I am the darkness. She is the light. And slowly but surely, into me she fades, like she would have anyway if I'd gotten to tell her how I felt. I loved my beautiful vision and now she's lost in darkness I've drowned in.
All too suddenly, I remember a voice...
Killing is too good for you. You don't get to die, you get to live - forever.
...Forever. An eternity. An eternity without my
vision. A life without hope is a living hell - one I get to live in forever.
Killing was too good for me. Instead, I am tormented, a lost soul drifting
without his vision.
*End*