Pairings: A/C (duh) B/S, Anya/X
Spoilers: Everything up to 'That Vision Thing' in Angel and 'Flooded' in Buffy.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A Response to KarenMR's Challenge on the Stranger Things Forum. Xander gets a case of the heebie geebies over marrying Anya and pays a visit to Cordelia. The Scoobies visit LA, Buffy's forced to confront Angel, Connor and Cordelia/Angel's obvious attraction, whereas Angel is forced to confront Buffy's feelings for Spike...
Disclaimer: If they were mine would I *really* be writing fan fic? Naw, Angel and Cordy would already be together, Riley might still be there and Giles would DEFINITELY be there! Not mine!!
Feedback: Love it, need it, crave it... "It's like a Sickness..."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 1~
So there he stood. Backpack in hand, in front of an extremely large hotel. As Wednesday's went, this wasn't a bad one, not really anyway. Okay, so his fiancee was quite possibly seething, he'd probably lost his job and he might just have left a very angered Buffy in his wake when he hadn't picked up Dawn for school. Good start and he hadn't even seen Dead Boy yet.
Alexander LaVelle Harris let out a breathy sigh. He knew why he was here, he knew what he'd come here *for*... He just didn't know what he was going to say to her. How about 'Hey Cordy, remember me? I need help...' She'd probably laugh in his face and send him away. Oh, 'cause like that had never happened before... Apparently, she'd changed. Under the influence of Dead Boy, she'd changed. Yeah, he'd believe that when he saw it... Which of course was going to be now considering a shrieked voice from behind him yelled, "Oh my God..."
Before he could say another word, a pair of arms were thrown around him and a girl with SHORT hair was hugging him. "Xander!" She said happily.
When she pulled back, she smiled, "What are you doing here?"
In that moment, he remembered why he'd loved her. And that was a REALLY scary thought... He didn't love her anymore. He loved Anya. "Wow, Cordelia... You've changed." He smiled.
"Just Cordy now..."
Just then, a disoriented Angel was out of the doors of the Hyperion, down the steps, fighting axe in hand. "Xander."
"Woah, Dead Boy..." He held up his hands, "Nothing happenin' here..."
Cordelia grinned, "Dork... Xander's here for... Xander's here for what?"
"Uhm... I kinda... Need your help..." He said, shuffling on his feet.
"Oh, well that's what we do now. Angel helps people." Said Cordelia, smiling proudly.
"No, I meant *you*..." Xander said softly, "I need YOUR help..."
"Oh..." Cordelia was a little stunned, "Heard about my fightin' skills, have you?" She asked, grinning.
Xander shook his head slowly, "Not exactly."
Angel stood back, watching the two exes getting on... Rather well for his liking...
"Uhm... Cordy?"
She turned towards him and smiled, holding up the bag, "Got it..."
The case they were working on had required a degree in magical influences, Cordelia had been sent out, grudgingly, to pick up the ingredients for the spell that both Fred and Wesley would perform. "Are you coming inside?" He asked, looking from Cordelia and back to Xander.
"Uh... Could we maybe go for coffee?" Xander looked at Cordelia, hopefully.
"Sure." She smiled, handing Angel the bag and curling her arm round Xander's, "So, tell me EVERYTHING... What's happening in Sunnydale?"
A growl forced it's way through Angel's tight-shut lips. "Cordy... We need your help." He said stubbornly.
"No you don't." She said, shaking her head, "You have Wesley, Fred *and* Gunn in there. What do you need me for?"
"Uhm... Connor?"
Her eyes darkened slightly, "Angel, you can look after him yourself..." She said, frowning. "I'll only be a couple of hours."
A petulant Angel nodded, "Okay, have fun."
But not too much. He added silently.
Cordelia smiled and stepped over to him, kissing his cheek, "Won't be long..."
* * * * * *
"Who was that?" When Angel walked back into the hotel he was immediately accosted by a question from Fred.
"Xander." He said, slamming the bag down on the bench.
"ANGEL!" Yelled Wesley as the glass shattered inside the bag. Yanking the bag open, the ex-Watcher frowned, "Well that's just bloody brilliant..."
"What'd he do?" Said Fred, warily.
"He smashed the orb of Marjlin... Do you know how many weeks we've waited for that thing?"
"Do we need it tonight?" Asked Angel.
"Well, no..."
"Then drop it."
"Ang..."
"Drop it." He growled, stalking downstairs to the basement.
Fred looked at Wesley, "Who's Xander?"
* * * * * *
"I just felt so... I dunno, hemmed in?" Xander said, his hands wrapped around his cup of coffee. "I know you're gonna say it's 'cause I've never grown up and fine, I probably haven't but..."
"I wasn't going to say that!" Said Cordelia, glancing at him.
"Okay then, so what other insult am I going to get then?"
"Who said you were going to get one?"
"You're Cordelia..."
"No, I'm Cordy."
"Huh?"
"I'm Cordy. Cordelia only comes out when I'm *Really* pissed off."
"Oh..." He smiled. "When did that last happen?"
"When I was Princess in Pylea."
"Is that some weird sex game?"
"XANDER!"
"Sorry..." He grinned, "Come on, you gotta admit that sounds weird..."
Cordelia laughed, "I guess there's a lot that we don't know about each other."
"Yeah." Xander smiled, wistfully. "Are you happy here? I mean, with Angel."
There was no hesitation on Cordelia's part, she answered without thinking. "Yes."
"I'm glad..." He smiled.
"How's Buffy?"
"Better. Boinking the undead, but better."
Cordelia felt her smile abating a little, "What do you mean, boinking the undead..."
"Well, she's... Having the smoochies, with Spike. Only it's the kind of smoochies that are bigger than smoochies."
"And?"
"Well, it's... Wrong..."
"WHY?" She frowned.
"Because it's Spike. Not that that's any worse than Angel though..."
Cordelia's cheeks flamed, "What's... Wrong... With... Angel?" She asked, through gritted teeth.
"Oh, come on, Dead Boy? At least if Buffy boinks Spike she'll not have to worry about him losing his soul and chowing down on her friends."
"No... She'll only have to worry about him losing the chip."
"Which can never happen..." Continued Xander, oblivious to the fact that Cordelia's face was a mixture between almost crying and definitely seething. "Plus, can you say brood much? I mean, at least Spike..."
Cordelia had had enough. Before Xander could blink, he was wearing a cup of coffee in the very literal sense and Cordelia had jumped up, walking out of the coffee shop.
Following, Xander caught up with her and grabbed hold of her arm. "Cor? Cordy... What did I say?" He asked.
"DO YOU EVEN LISTEN TO YOURSELF?" She asked, her eyes flaming. "There's nothing wrong with Angel. You don't even know him anymore - OR ME FOR THAT MATTER, SO DON'T SIT THERE THINKING YOU DO!"
Realisation panned across Xander's face. "You love him." He said simply.
She pulled her arm off of him, "What if I do, huh? Is it wrong? You forget that you're the one sitting their bashing your so called friend for loving a demon when you love a girl who USED to be one, remember?"
"Y-yeah... But that's different..."
"Why?"
"Because..."
"That's NOT an answer... So, what? It's different because it's *you*? Is that it? Jeez, Xander, you live on a HELLMOUTH - OPEN YOUR MIND JUST A LITTLE BIT!"
Xander was taken aback, "YOU'RE telling me to open my mind? YOU?"
"Yeah, I am!" Cordelia sighed, "Buffy's your FRIEND... You should be happy for her."
"I didn't mean what I said about Angel." Said Xander, meekly, refusing to admit that Cordelia might actually be right.
"You can't help who you love, Xander." She said softly.
Xander sighed, "I know that but... You really love Angel?"
Cordelia shrugged, "Yeah, well, not like he'd notice anyway..." She said, shaking her head.
Xander smiled. He was now officially on a mission...
~Part: 2~
"Where is she?" Growled Angel, "She's not answering her phone... She's nowhere around! I'm going over..."
"Angel, calm down. She and Xander are probably reminiscing about Sunnydale, they were dating, after all."
Wesley, however much he tried to be logic boy right now, was still majorly pissed about the Orb that Angel had smashed.
"But, she could be hurt... I mean, it's possible. What if it wasn't Xander?"
"What?" Said Wesley, shaking his head. "Angel, this is BEYOND obsession..." He chastisted, "Cordelia is fine!"
"But what if she's not..."
"Oh for pete's sake... Angel! She's fine!"
"Who's Pete? New client?" Asked Fred, hopefully.
"British expression, over-used by Wesley. Hey, Fred." Smiled Gunn.
Fred smiled back, still a little shyly. "Oh, I was gettin' kinda confused. I mean, first this Xander guy shows up... And now Pete? Lotta people..."
Wesley chuckled, "Xander's an old friend of Cordy's."
Fred nodded, "I know, Angel told me... Right before he punched a hole in the wall..."
"ANGEL!" Yelled Wesley, shaking his head, "What's wrong with you? This is Xander, Xander who's getting MARRIED in less than two month time? There's nothing going on between him and Cordelia."
"Kyerumption." Said Fred, thoughtfully. "Combined with jealousy... It's NOT a good combination."
"Jealous? Who's jealous?" Asked Angel, then, "What's Kyerumption?"
"Yeah, what he said..." Said Gunn, watching Fred intently.
Her cheeks burning under their gaze, Fred continued, "It was a phrase in Pylea... It means when two great warriors meet on the battlefield and sort of... Acknowledge their similar fates. But I'm not sure that a battlefield, a jealous Angel and our two warriors are exactly good combinations right now..."
Angel frowned, "I'm NOT jealous! I'm just worried... And... Going over there!" He grabbed his coat, throwing it over his shoulders and frowning. A possessive growl rising up in him. Mine.
* * * * *
"You and Harmony fought?" Asked Cordelia, "Who won?"
"Excuse me, I'll have you know that my fighting skills are quite formidable, Cordelia Chase." He said, "I won!"
Cordelia nodded, "Shoulda staked her myself. God, I thought she was a lesbo! And then I kinda... Dropped myself in it with Willow..." She laughed, "How is she?"
Xander became a little subdued and looked down, "It's kinda, well, weird..." He was sitting, in her apartment, in only a pair of sweats. She'd let him shower after she'd unceremoniously dumped the cup of coffee over his head and Xander had decided he needed to shower and change.
Cordelia glanced at him, "Weird?"
"Well, y'remember how... Oh, you won't. Well, when Oz left, she slipped into a funk. And then it was like... Major moping for weeks and weeks until she cast a spell that made Giles blind, Buffy get engaged to Spike and me become a demon magnet of the literal sense...."
"O-kay..." Said Cordelia, puzzled.
"Well - she's kinda like that only without all the Magical Influences this time... She's going Cold Turkey... No Tara, no Magic."
"And Tara still hasn't been by?"
"She comes to see Dawn... But... Not as much. It's weird without her, she was part of the family. And when she and Willow around each other it's like the Stammery Convention all niceties and stuff but... Not..."
Cordelia sighed, "Did you ever think you'd end up like this? I mean, the way your life is? Not that I'm not happy, I mean, I have a son and a fam..."
"Who the whattin' how?"
Cordelia laughed, "Xander, breathe. You're turning colours."
"YOU have a son... YOU?"
"Well, I might as well be his Mommy... Darla's not ar..."
"Woah, huh? Darla? As in the one Angel staked like four years ago?"
"Uh-huh, brought back from the dead..." Cordelia paused, "Or the dust, I'm not sure of the correct... Terminology or whatever... By evil law firm, vamped again, Angel went through a 'beige period', got laid, had a baby, I'm his Mommy."
"Was that the short version?"
"The VERY short version." Said Cordelia, "I didn't tell you how he fired me AND gave away my clothes..."
Xander smiled, ah, there she was, some of *his* Cordelia coming back. "So, let me get this straight, Angel *had* a baby?"
"Well, not personally but... Yeah, Angel had a baby."
"Okay, and I thought my life was weird."
"Speaking of... Anya, marriage - why are you here with me?" She asked.
Xander sighed, "Y'know how I said that I'd probably never grown up?"
"Yeah..."
"I really don't think I have. I mean... Husbandry. Next comes kids and... Night time feeding and... Dating! How can I cope when my own daughter starts dating? I mean, I get broody when I find out that DAWN'S in the process of having smoochies!"
Cordelia looked at him for a second, "Xander, is Anya pregnant?"
"Yee Gads... No!"
"So... Why are you worrying about this now?"
"Because it's what comes next after the whole marriage thing, that's how life works. You get married, you punch out a couple of kids, get old, wrinkly, fight over the oxygen mask and you die. That's it."
Cordelia shook her head, "Y'know, I'd renewed Angel's status to Dork of The Year, but I think that award ACTUALLY suits you better."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Xander, sure, marriage is a big step but you've got everything worked out already. It doesn't always work like that - I mean, look at me. No husband and yet I'm a Mommy. I probably never *will* have kids, I'm probably not gonna get old but the dying part sure but... You make the most of what you've got."
Xander stared at her, "When did you become so sensible?"
"Right around the time I dumped you..." She teased, good naturedly. "Things don't always go the way you expect them too. I mean, remember my motto? It was supposed to go home, hotel, hotel, husband..."
Smiling coyly, Xander nodded, "Sure, hotel... Check... Husband... Hmmm..."
Cordelia laughed, "Yeah, yeah... Who, Angel? Nah... He's not the marriage type."
"Why?" Asked Xander.
Cordelia shrugged, "He's just not, that's all... You want something else to drink?" She asked, getting off the couch - a quick change of subject.
"Sure, I'll have a..."
"No..."
"What?" Xander looked at her, she'd offered HIM a drink. But... Something wasn't right. Her scream broke through the room and she fell to the floor, clutching her head. "Cordy! Cordy! What's wrong, what is it?"
Not children... I hate it when it's children...
"An-gel..." She whimpered, "Get Ang...NOOO!"
"Don't get Angel?"
Big stoopid, demon... Sacrifices... Children...
"Cordy? Answer me... What's wrong?" He asked as he watched her writhing on the floor.
Uh... What's that SMELL?
The vision subsided and Cordelia looked up, rasping for breath. Xander had her in his arms, looking down at her, "What in the freakin' hell was that?"
Cordelia winced, "It was a demon of some kind. It had... It was sacrificing children for some ritual... There was this weird smell..."
"Great. But what was THAT?"
"Oh... A vision, I get visions from the Powers That Be..." She said, shaking her head, "Sorry, the mind numbing pain must've made me forget to tell you."
"Ouch, grouchy with a vision..."
"Well, YOU try having your skull split open and hot lava poured into it every time the PTB wanna send you an obscure message that says, Hey, save this guy, he needs saving!"
"Wow..." Said Xander, officially awestruck, "You're like..."
"You say Lassie and I will kick your ass..."
The door burst open and Angel rushed inside, "I heard you screaming. Vision?"
Cordelia nodded, "I'm fine." She lied, "It was a demon of some kind... Looked like it had intestines round it's head... It was the uhm... I could smell salt... Sewers, maybe... Under the police precinct downtown... Uhm... You should go now..."
She stood, both Angel and Xander rushing to help her, "There were vampires, you'll need backup... Take Xander..." She whispered.
"No, it's okay." Said Angel quickly. A little *too* quickly.
"Angel, stop being so stubborn... Gunn and Wesley are working on that thing and Xander's fighting skills have really improved... Just... Take him!" She snapped, going into the bathroom.
Angel looked at Xander, jealously boiling within him, "You stay OUT of my way. You fight and watch your own back. Got it?"
"Got it Dead Boy..."
"Cordelia?" Angel knocked gently on the bathroom door, "Are you sure you're alright?" He asked.
"I'm fine. Just... Go... Big bad... Squish..."
Angel sighed. This was going to be a LONG night.
As they walked out the door, Xander smirked, ~Ground Control to Major Tom, prepare for lift off... Your Mission has begun...~
* * * * *
An hour later, Angel and Xander still hadn't returned. Cordelia lay huddled on her couch, a blanket around her upper body, barely able to lift her head. Tissues lay balled at her feet, an empty bottle of painkillers in her hand, tears streaming down her face. The apartment was in darkness, everything was silent... But of course, things NEVER stayed that way.
<BANG, BANG, BANG>
"Damnit, Xander Harris, I KNOW you're in there! Cordelia, you can't have him again, he's mine! You hear me? Let me in! I won't go away until you do...!" Yelled Anya.
"Oh, great..." Mumbled Cordelia, "This is JUST what I need..." She got off the couch and stumbled to the door, wincing as the light hit her face. "Oh... Hey, Anya..."
"Don't 'Hey Anya' me... You stole Xander! Where is he?"
Cordelia sighed.
~Part: 3~
"So..."
Angel glared at Xander. He'd only said one word the entire time they'd been in the car but it still managed to piss him off. "Why are you here?" Asked Angel, shortly. They'd killed the demon, the children had ran, Cordelia's vision was finished with but Angel was crankier than he'd ever been.
"Oh, you mean besides getting Cordelia back, well..."
"WHAT?" Angel nearly spun the car off the road, "What the hell are you talking about?" He growled.
"Woah, chill... I've been thinking. I mean, Cordelia and I we were just... Well, wow, y'know?" Xander said, supressing the urge to snicker. "We always knew there was something 'deep' between us..."
"Would that be disgust?"
Xander frowned, "Hey... What's that mean?"
"You cheated on her!"
"Yeah, so did YOU!"
"But... But I wasn't WITH her... And what you did was wrong!"
"Oh, as opposed to sleeping with your evil bitch of an ex-Sire, WHO if I recall correctly, you staked around five years ago, ringing any bells?"
"I want to ring YOURS..." Growled Angel. "You hurt her!"
"You gave away her clothes!"
"I love her!" He growled, "Don't tell me that... What are you grinning at?"
"Mission One accomplished, awaiting confirmation of next mission..." Grinned Xander.
* * * * *
"I know he's here!"
"Anya," Said Cordelia wearily, "You've been through EVERY closet of mine. You even checked my refrigerator for God's sake! I've told you where he is! He's out fighting the big evil with Angel..."
"Xander?" Said Anya, skeptically, "Now I KNOW you're lying!"
"I'M NOT LYING!" She yelled, crankily, "I am however in SERIOUS amounts of pain that no aspirin will fix and getting VERY annoyed with a possessive, jealous, overbearing girlfriend who won't leave my apartment."
"FIANCEE!" Said Anya.
"Whatever! Anya, look, I don't mean to be rude but... No, wait I DO... I'm not in the mood for visitors."
"Well that's just too bad!" Yelled Anya, making Cordelia wince, "Why did he come back here? Are you two getting back together?"
"First off, let me say 'eww'." Said Cordelia frowning, "I'm not in the habit of dating other people's CAST OFF'S..." Cordelia shook her head, "And second of all I say 'Are you CRAZY?' Xander LOVES you!" She yelled, "Why the hell do you think we're getting back together!"
"Because he's here! Because he always says he wants to marry me and then he doesn't tell his friends!"
"So, what, you think that automatically means he's coming back here to get with me? We were over like, what, three years ago? Please!"
"Don't say you don't think he's sexy... 'Cause you dated him once before..."
"Operative word being dated, Anya. PAST TENSE!"
Anya frowned, "Well you've had his orgasms, you know what he's like! Who could blame you for..."
"WHAT?!?!"
Anya paled, Cordelia's pensive, yelling face was just not pretty. Add that to the fact that she looked like she'd been crying, this whole thing added up to 'not good'.
"I DID NOT SLEEP WITH XANDER!"
"You did!" Said Anya, "You were the one he lost his virginity too..."
"That was Faith!" Said Cordelia, her eyes wide, "NOT me. NOT me! I did have some taste back then, contrary to popular belief!"
"What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying sleeping with Xander was a mistake? Because I sleep with Xander on a regular basis and it's nice!"
"Hello, are you DENSE? I didn't sleep with Xander!" Yelled Cordelia.
"Yes, you did and you still love him and want him back!" Said Anya, on the verge of tears.
So was Cordelia, only tears of frustration, "I don't love Xander, OKAY? And you want to know WHY I don't love Xander? Because I love ANGEL!" She yelled, "Remember him? Madly in love with Buffy, big love of their lives? I'm in love with Angel - only he's of the dense variety too and has NO idea..."
A cough from behind her made a startled Cordelia turn. "Oh, this is so not what I needed right now..."
"I heard yelling. And I thought maybe An-Anya had tried to kill you so... Here I am and... You're in love with Angel?"
Cordelia sighed, "Hey, Buffy..."
* * * * *
"Mission? I told Wesley you weren't the real Xander..." Grumbled Angel.
"Oh, I'm the Real Xander alright - I've had experience with a duplicate and I recognise me when I see me... Uh anyway, we're gonna play a game to pass the time."
"Xander, I'm not in the mood for..."
"Just humour me. When I ask you a question, say the first thing that pops into your head."
Angel rolled his eyes, "Okay, okay..."
"Favourite food?"
"I don't ea..."
"FAVOURITE FOOD?"
"Blood."
"Favourite weapon?"
"Axe."
"Favourite car?"
"Plymouth '69."
"Person you hate most?"
"You."
"Thanks."
"Welcome."
"Uh... Diapers?"
"Connor."
"Mommy?"
"Cordelia."
"Love?"
"Cordelia."
"Redemption?"
"Cordelia."
"Dumbass!"
"Cor - what, no! You tricked me!"
Xander started to laugh, "The last one wasn't a question, DUMBASS..."
Angel sighed, "This doesn't exactly prove anything..."
"No, of course not, only that you're madly in love with her and everything you do, everything you are is for HER."
"No, it's n..."
"Don't even insult my intelligence. Even *I'm* not that stupid."
Angel sighed, "But... She doesn't love me."
"Phase 2 of Mission Matchmake, Start your engines..." Muttered Xander.
"What?"
"Drive, Dead Boy..."
"Will you NOT call me that?"
~Part: 4~
"If you're able to breathe, now would be a good time to do that." Said Cordelia, dryly, glancing at Buffy who stood there, face pale, just staring at Cordelia.
"What? Oh..." Buffy let out a breathy sigh and nodded, "Yeah, well, I mean... Uhm... Did I fall into the twilight zone?"
Cordelia frowned, "No. This is LA... Remember, you used to live here? You've visited a couple of times, caused much brooding and then left..."
Buffy glared at Cordelia, "Yeah, I remember - they weren't all that fun for me either!"
Cordelia sighed, suddenly contrite, "Look, I'm sorry. But I've just had a vision of the painful variety and had to put up with Anya on her possessive kick, all in all it spells OW..." She said, shaking her head.
"But... You love Angel."
"Yes, I love Angel."
"You're in love with Angel?"
Cordelia nodded again, "Yes, I'm IN LOVE with Angel, happy now?"
"Not exactly an adjective I'd use to describe the way I'm feeling right now. Think closer to 'ewww' and you have it."
"Thanks," Said Cordelia, dryly, "I'm glad to know our relationship or LACK thereof, instills a sense of ew-worthiness into you."
"It could be worse, she could be laughing." Said Anya, optimistically.
"And why would she be laughing?" Fumed Cordelia.
"Because the whole thing is just really weird and really wrong!" Said Buffy, "That's why..."
"Why?"
"Huh?"
"You heard me, why?! Is it because you're not with him? Or is it because he's not brooding all over you. Or is it 'cause you don't want to admit that things change? Relax, Buffy," She said quietly, "The worlds still as it should be... Angel still loves and broods over you and you only..."
This time, it was Buffy's turn to sigh, was that even what she really wanted?
* * * * *
"Not even a subtle hint?" Asked Xander, disappointed.
"You don't *do* subtle, you drop anvils. But you don't do subtle," Said Angel, "And the answer's still no."
"Okay, okay, I promise I won't say anything." He lied. He was downright lying. If it was the last thing Alexander LaVelle Harris did (and it probably would be) he'd get Angel and Cordelia together. Of the smoochiness... As long as it didn't get groiny, then he was fine with that...
Fortunately for Xander, the irony of 1st grade lying wasn't lost on him. When you were lying, if you had your fingers crossed then a promise meant nothing. First, he'd sort out this whole 'I love you but I'm afraid to tell you' business with Angel and Cordelia. Then he'd go home, announce to his friends that he had grown up, was getting married and was renouncing his iron like grip on immaturity. In amongst the slaps, he was sure there would be *some* degree of congratulations. Never let it be said that Xander Harris didn't have goals in life...
* * * * *
Anya was, understandably, pleased. On the way down here she'd cried her eyes out (not literally, although she *had* made a man do that in her days as a vengeance demon as his wife had so wished it) convinced that Xander was either a) hooking up with Cordelia or b) hooking up with someone who *wasn't* her. As it turned out, it was neither. Xander was hooking up with nobody. Cordelia had explained, while Buffy had stood there looking like she wanted to cry, that Xander had gotten a case of the 'heebie geebies' and had come to talk to someone who wasn't as close to the situation. Moments later, Spike had arrived at the door.
"Okay, I know you told me to circle the block a few times and not come in but there's only so much a guy can take of being chased down the street with egg-bearing children before he gets a little pissed off." Mumbled Spike, lighting a cigarette. "I ended up havin' to show 'em my grrr face and terrifying them..."
"Spike!" Yelled Buffy.
"Kiddin', kiddin'..." He grumbled.
"No smoking in here, Spike." Said Cordelia, annoyed.
"Not *in* there, luv. I'm outside, you didn't invite me in, see? Public space..." He leaned against the invisible barrier and Cordelia, smiling mishcheviously, spoke up, "Come in, Spike."
He crashed to the floor non-too gracefully as the barrier disappeared, eliciting a laugh from the three females in the sitting room as he stood, annoyed, brushing off his coat, "Bitch..." He mumbled, glaring at the brunette.
Cordelia smiled, "Duh..."
"Anya?" Xander's voice from the door made her look up and she frowned. "Xander."
"Buffy?" Angel looked across the room from where he and Xander stood and then over at the peroxide vampire, "Spike?"
"Oh, bollocks..." Spike frowned, "I knew comin' here was a bad idea..."
"I told you NOT to come!" Said Buffy, shaking her head, staring at Angel for a while.
Xander watched closely. After a couple of minutes, he spoke up, "Buff... Can I talk to you outside?"
Buffy nodded, puzzled, "Don't stake him." She shot in Angel's direction before she went outside with Xander, "So, spill... What is it? If you've come to tell me how Cordelia loves him, save it." She rolled her eyes, "I've already heard it... And almost laughed."
Xander found himself frowning at her last comment. "What do you have against them?"
Her eyebrows raised, Buffy did actually laugh this time, "Oh, please... When did *you* become an Angel/Cordelia fan? You hate Angel! And Cordelia, sure you used to date her but..."
Shaking his head, Xander looked at her, "Things change, Buffy. People change. Angel's not like he was back in Sunnydale. He's... Happy..."
"Are you saying I didn't make him happy?"
Xander frowned, "I'm not saying that! I'm saying that right now, with her, he's happy. Regardless of whether you are or not, this isn't your decision to make."
"But... But this is Cordelia!" Said Buffy.
"And she's changed. Buffy, you can't expect him to brood over you forever. You moved on. You were happy with Riley, now Spike... At least give him that chance."
Buffy frowned, "No, I..."
"Buffy... Let him go." Said Xander, gently. "Whatever he and Cordelia share, it doesn't diminish your relationship with him any less. In fact, it makes him a bit more of a stud..." He said, grinning.
Buffy looked at him, "When did you get so sensible?"
Xander smiled, "When Cordelia threw a cup of coffee over my head..."
Buffy started to laugh and shook her head, "Uhm... If they y'know... Love each other, what are they waiting for?"
Xander grinned, "They need a helping hand..."
Buffy turned to walk inside when Xander grabbed her arm, "Hey, wait a minute... Before you go in, I wanna play a game..."
"We don't have time for this."
"Humour me... Just say the first word that pops into your head. Favourite food?"
"Pizza."
"Favourite weapon."
"Crossbow."
"Favourite drink?"
"Pepsi."
Favourite colour?"
"Silver."
"Key?"
"Lock."
"Waffles?"
"Mom."
"Blood?"
"Eww..."
"Love?"
"Spike.... Oh..." She said gently and met his eyes smiling, "I see your point." Buffy stepped forward and hugged him, "Think I'm an idiot?" She asked.
Xander was about to retort with a sarcastic comment, when a blood-curdling scream emanated from Cordelia's apartment. They went inside, to see Cordelia in Angel's arms, her body wracked with pain, clutching her head...
"Uh... What's happening?" Asked Spike.
"Vision." Xander spoke nonchalantly, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
"Reckon Martin Luther King's vision was as painful as that?" Asked Spike, observing Angel and the way he held Cordelia.
"Spike!" Hissed Xander.
When Cordelia's body stopped thrashing, she gasped for breath and looked up at Angel fearfully, "It's Connor..." She whispered.
"Who's Connor?" Asked Buffy.
"Their son."
"Their WHO?!"
~Part: 5~
A foot to the solar plexus caught Buffy off guard. As she plummeted to the floor, she grabbed the leg of her assailant and twisted, knocking him or... More pointedly it down with her. Cordelia's vision had certainly been right. Demons, in the hotel, intent on taking Connor from his father, or in this case, the reluctant clutches of Aunty Fred and Uncle Wesley.
"Didn't we do this already?" Asked Gunn, frowning as a demon head fell to the floor.
Buffy looked up, "Do what?" She asked, flipping to her feet.
"The whole 'demon thing', after Connor. I mean, we did this!"
Buffy glanced at Angel, "This an everyday part of your life?"
Angel shrugged, growling as a demon went towards Cordelia, claws outstretched. Leaping through the air, his demonic face unhidden, Angel knocked the demon to the floor in one fell swoop, grabbing hold of its neck, twisting until a sickening snap resounded throughout the lobby.
"Thanks." Cordelia smiled up at him, taking his hand as he pulled her up. The awkward silence in the hotel grew almost louder until a shy voice from the stairs spoke up, "Hi, I'm Fred. And this is Connor. Uh, Angel told me that... I should come down when it got silent and... It got silent so that meant you were either dead or... Doing the awkward silence thing and... So here I am. Since no demons came upstairs I thought I should come down..."
Angel sighed and looked over at Buffy, "Buffy, I..."
"Save it." She said, shaking her head, "Y'know, I was all for the 'Angel loves Cordelia and vice versa' thing but..."
"The HUH?" Cordelia's eyes almost popped out of her head.
"What?" Angel adopted a saner approach, although the effect with the eyes and the bulging of the head thing was pretty much the same.
Buffy shook her head, "Look, just forget it, okay?" She said, quietly, "I hope you're happy."
She stormed up the steps and down... Into the Courtyard.
"Perhaps someone should tell her that that's NOT the way out." Said Wesley, gently.
Angel sighed, "I'll go." Following her up and then down the same stairs, Angel stood in front of where she paced, her arms folded across her chest.
"Buffy, lis..."
"Don't, okay? Just don't."
"But I..."
"But what? Huh? Are you going to tell me how much you love her? How much you want to be with her? Is that it?"
"Buffy, don't you think you're being a bit unreasonable?"
"UNREASONABLE? No, not unreasonable. I'm being downright stubborn and bitchy and all the other things I can think of!" She yelled.
"So, what? You're allowed to move on and I'm not?" He asked gently.
"I'm not saying that!" Said Buffy, "All I'm saying is how come she gets the normal life with you? How come you decide that you can be with her and not get all fangy again? And where in the Hell did you get a son?"
Angel sighed, "It's a long story..."
"I've got time... Spill..."
* * * * * * *
"Anya, listen to me..."
"NO! Okay, NO. Is this what it's going to be? Me playing second fiddle to her?"
"Hey!" Said Cordelia, "I'm not playing... First fiddle to anyone!"
"Uhm, guys... Maybe you should move this outside where it's less... Public?" Asked Gunn, raising an eyebrow.
"Just 'cause YOU feel uncomfortable? I don't think so." Said Anya.
"She always like this?"
"Always." Said Spike, nodding.
"You told me to wait. I waited. I waited for Buffy, I waited for her to get back into the swing of things... I'm ELEVEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO YEARS OLD!!! Waiting's a game I've played all my life and I don't *like* it!"
"Stop yelling!" Said Cordelia, harshly, "You'll wake the baby!"
"Do you think I *like* my voice like this? It's all high and... Emotional and... Horrible!"
"ANYA!" This time it was Xander's turn to yell. "Will you listen to me?"
Anya stopped and frowned, looking at Xander, "Why? For you to tell me 'oh no, we have to wait for... For GILES to cash his old people's fund benifitty thing! Or we have to wait for Cordelia and Angel to *buy* a clue... Since HE has forever, that would probably be long enough for you to grow up! Or maybe we could wait for Buffy and Spike to FINALLY admit what we all knew anyway..."
If Spike could blush, he would've at that point. "Buffy and Spike don't need to bloody admit anything..."
"What are they gonna admit?" Asked Cordelia, almost hanging off her seat.
"They had sex." Said Anya, nonchalantly, "Big deal! Xander and I have sex all the time, it's not *that* interesting!"
Xander did blush. "Anya! Remember those conversations that we shouldn't have in front of our friends?"
"Oh, you mean the MARRIAGE talk?" She yelled.
A burst of laughter made them stop, turn and look at Wesley. "THIS is what this is all about?" Asked Wesley, incredulously.
"Hello, stuffy British man, I'm glad you think my pain is funny." Said Anya, frowning. "What's he, baby Giles?"
Wesley stopped laughing, abruptly, no longer finding this funny, "No, I'm bloody not..."
"Anya, that's Wesley... Remember, Buffy and Faith's Watcher?" Said Xander, frowning.
"Oh, I apologise, I must have FORGOTTEN in all the keeping secrets about my own wedding!" She yelled.
"That's it." Xander had had enough. Grabbing her bag, he wrenched the clasp open, pulled out the small velvet box and pulled out the ring, getting down on one knee, "Anya, will you marry me?"
"No!"
"What?"
"No!"
"Why?!"
"Cause... 'Cause you're only DOING this because I asked you too!"
"No, I asked you!"
"And how many lifetimes ago was that?" Fumed Anya, sitting down on the couch, "My answer's no."
Xander threw his hands up in the air, "I give up!" Turning away, he waited until he heard a voice. "You're really sure this time?"
"Yes!" He whirled back round and looked at her, "Yes! Anya, I *want* to marry you."
"Oh, okay then. Can I have my ring now?"
* * * * * *
Buffy started to laugh. She wasn't laughing because of what happened with Darla, or Cordelia or even Connor. "Angel, please!"
"No!"
"Please!"
"NO!"
"You owe me!"
"No!"
"Angel?" Said Buffy, "If you don't I'll go tell Cordelia what you just said..."
"But... That's blackmail!"
"You'd better believe it, Buster. Do it!"
Angel sighed...
"Oh, Mandy, well you came and
You gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh Mandy
Well you kissed me and
Stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy..."
~Part: 6~
Spike looked at Cordelia and shook his head, "Really slipped into the role of Mommy, huh?"
Cordelia grinned, "Well, not Mommy, maybe Aunty Cordy but not Mommy."
"Are all you people soft?" He asked, "Why the hell you don't just admit what's blatantly obvious is beyond me..."
"You're one to talk, Dead Boy." Piped up Xander, sitting on the couch with Anya curled on his lap.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Asked Spike, wishing with all his might that the damned chip worked right now.
"Well, come on, I mean look at you and Buffy, skirting round what's blatantly obvious."
"I told her I loved her, can't get more honest than that..."
"Shall we play a game?" Asked Xander.
Cordelia grinned, knowing exactly what was coming.
"How old are we?" Asked Spike, "Aren't we a bit mature for... Actually, I take that back aren't *I* a bit mature for games?"
Xander smiled, "Humour me."
Spike frowned, "Go on then."
"I'll say a word, then you say the first one that pops into your head."
Spike grumbled but nodded nonetheless, waiting for the game to begin.
"Stake?" Said Xander.
"Meat." Replied Spike, wisely.
"No, Stake?"
"Alright then, Slayer."
"Blood?"
"Human."
"Angel?"
"Pouf..."
"HEY!" Said Cordelia, indignantly, "Try and keep the Angel bashing to a minimum!"
"Sorry..." He grumbled, "Fluffy bunny suit you?"
"Hey! Less with the bunnies!" Said Anya, shivering.
"Bloody 'ell..." Said Spike, shaking his head, "Alright!"
"Angel?" Prompted Xander, a grin on his face.
"Sire." Said Spike, thinking of the only safe and non-derogatory word he could think of.
Xander nodded, "Drusilla?"
"Black Goddess..."
"HEY!" This time, a different voice was sounding pissed. Buffy. "Well, I knew you were hung up on her." She said, folding her arms across her chest, shooting a glare in his direction.
"For GOD'S sake... This is a stupid bloody game that immature Harris wanted to play..." Said Spike, frowning. "He told me to..."
"Say a word and then say what you thought after it..." Piped up Angel, starting to laugh.
Buffy raised an eyebrow. Angel, laughing, singing AND joking around now? Didn't seem like the Angel she used to know, he who liked to sit and sulk in the corner...
Spike nodded, "Many times have you played this game?" He asked, suspiciously.
"Oh, only about three times." Said Xander, flippantly, "It was a good way of getting you guys to face up to what you were actually feeling."
"And what about you?" Asked Anya, "Did you play with yourself?"
Spike snorted and glanced at the brick-layer, "Got no one else to play with you, eh?"
Xander shook his head, "Time for you to redeem yourself, Spike."
The peroxide vampire glanced up at a VERY pissed Buffy who stood, tapping her foot against the hardwood floor, "Black Goddess?"
Spike sighed, "This is going to be a long night..." He grumbled, going up the steps towards her, "That wasn't fair! He bloody cheated!"
"Spike, maybe you should quit while you're ahead..." Said Buffy, cooly, not actually annoyed, just playing on it.
"Y'mean - I'm already ahead?"
"No... But every time you open your mouth you fall further back so shut up." Said Buffy, smiling sweetly at him.
"Sarcastic bitch..." Grumbled Spike under his breath.
"What was that?" She asked, glancing at Angel as he chuckled, when Spike replied, "Nothing, luv..."
"Can we go home now?" Piped up Anya, "I want orgasms."
Xander's shoulders slumped, "An..." He groaned, "Polite people say 'sorry we can't stay, but we must get back'..."
"Why lie though?" She asked, "I'm not sorry I can't stay and we don't have to *really* get back, but I want to. Seeing those two tiptoe around their feelings for each other is almost as bad as watching Buffy and Spike."
"Hey!" Said Angel, Cordelia, Spike and Buffy simultaneously.
"Who's tiptoeing?" Asked Angel, frowning.
"Not me..."
"Nor me..."
"I'm bloody well, not..."
"Pfft..."
Xander shook his head, "And still you've learned nothing after our little games." He said, grinning, "Ah, young love..."
"Hate to break it to you, but I'm old... And he's ancient..." Said Spike, jabbing a thumb in Angel's direction. "Nothin' young there..."
"Home!" Said Anya, frowning, "If we go now we can get there in time for one orgasm, maybe two..."
Sighing, Xander looked at Buffy, "Are you staying or..."
Buffy shook her head, "Gotta go home, I have a meeting with the nasty evil social worker tomorrow."
Xander nodded and stood, watching as Cordelia handed Connor to Fred. "It was nice... Uh, y'know?"
Cordelia smiled, "Yeah, I know." Wrapping her arms around him, she hugged him, "Thanks for helping me with... Pretty much everything."
"You scratch my back..." He smiled.
"What does back scratching have to do with this?" Asked Anya, puzzled.
Xander buried his face into Cordelia's shoulder and groaned, "Are you sure I'm doing the right thing, marrying her?" He grumbled playfully.
Laughing, Cordelia poked him in the ribs, "You wouldn't have it any other way and you know it."
Xander sighed and pulled back, "Y'know, I think you may just be right."
"Well, duh!" She laughed. After a few minutes of hugs and awkward handshakes from the guys, the Sunnydale quartet had left, leaving Angel chuckling in their wake as he heard Spike's insistent whine of, "But Buff-yyyyy, you know I love you." He could almost imagine his child's face, petulant and almost sullen as she played the angry thing for everything it was worth.
A cough made Angel turn, seeing his child been held at arms length away from his Seer. "Your son needs changing."
For one awful moment, Angel thought everything that had happened over the past few days, every embarassment (of singing to Buffy) was all futile. "Cordelia, we need to talk..." He stuttered.
Cordelia frowned, "First, you need to change your sons diaper. Then you need to get your ass over to me and kiss me and then and only then can you tell me that you love me." She said, her frown being replaced by a sweet smile.
"And what'll you be doing while I'm doing that?" Asked Angel, a grin forming on his face.
"Sitting looking pretty..." She smiled, before an evil glint appeared in her eyes, "And thinking of ways you can show me how much you love me."
Angel gulped, "I... I'll go change Connor."
Cordelia smiled, "I'll be waiting..."
*THE END*