Come Back to Me

sequal to The Hero Falls

Author: Misha

Rating: PG-13

Category: Angst, Post RofF, BtVS cross-over

Content: A/C angst and romance. AI family. A/B angst, slight romance.

Summary: Angel comes back and all the pain comes back as well everytime he sees Cordelia. It's driving him crazy and he needs a way to stop it. What will he do?

Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.

Notes: The Scoobies are still here. Come on. They had to be with the way the last one ended. And Giles is here. Because, what's Buffy without Giles?

Feedback: Yes please! I thrive off of it!

Dedication: This story is dedicaded to one of my best friends, Nichole, hope you enjoy this one too. And to my cousin Amanda whom I love dearly and who, if it weren't for her, I would not be here to write these stories, I WILL get you into Angel woman!

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The air was fresh and crisp, the water crashing on the shore. The sun had just began to set as Cordelia and Angel walked along the coast, hands joined. He stopped and pulled her to him as the darkness swallowed them whole. He pressed his lips to hers. But before she could respond, he pulled away. His hand caressed her cheek softly and a tear escaped and fell down her face. He kissed her again, their lips barely touching. Suddenly the fire was falling again.
"Help me." Angel whispered, before, once again, he was engulfed in flames. Cordelia screamed and bolted up in a cold sweat, paler than death itself. Conner ran in to see if she was alright, when he saw her sitting up in bed.
"Did you have another dream?" She nodded, still in a daze. "We really should go see-"
"No!" She interupted. "We've been through this. They want nothing to do with me. Nothing Conner. They hate me. And they have every reason to."
"But they could help." She glared at him. Oh, how their relationship had changed. They both chose to forget what had happened between them last month. It was almost a mother/son relationship now. Which they both found really odd considering, but they weren't exactly normal either. And the awkwardness of it all just seemed to be gone now.
"Conner. I honestly don't think they would even care."
"But if you tell them what's happening, they might." She looked at him and sighed.
"Why not? I have nothing else to lose."
"Oh shut up and come on."
"I have to get ready, you know?"
"Then hurry up." Conner said. He went to the window and looked down at the busy street. He had to admit, he was a little afraid to go back to the hotel. The last time he was there without Angel, Fred had nearly fried him with the taser. He shook his head. It would be fine.

Cordelia and Conner barged into the hotel's lobby, where the AI's were seated comfortably, until they saw them.
"What are you doing-" Gunn started bitterly.
"Don't say a word Gunn. Not a damn word."
"What do you want Cordelia?" Wesley asked, his tone almost emotionless. They stared at her expectantly.
"Ineedyourhelp." She murmured.
"What?" Fred asked.
"I need your help." Buffy snorted in amusement and anger. She and the group had just walked down the stairs, to see Cordelia and Conner in the hotel, which really pissed her off. Neither of them should be at the hotel, as far as she was concerned.
"Well, in case you haven't noticed, our boss, the one who helps people, he's kind of, dead!" Gunn said sarcastically.
"Don't you think I know that?! Why do you think I'm here, Gunn?! You think I just came here exactly a month later to remind myself that he's dead?! God! You people know me better than that!"
"They thought they knew you well enough before too! Then you slept with Angel's son!"
"Don't you even start with me Buffy!"
"Why shouldn't I?"
"Because you don't know what's going on! And you don't know about Angel! Or why I'm here! Or the relationship we had! Or anything! And you know what?! I am sorry for what I did! And so is Conner! And we know it was wrong! But people make mistakes! And Angel understands that! People are supposed to forgive each other! And he forgave us! Didn't you?! He did! Because he's the one coming! At night! And-"
"Cordelia!" Wesley yelled. She stared at him. "You're rambling." He took a long hard look at her as she calmed herself. He saw something deep in her eyes that he couldn't explain and it worried him. "Are you okay?" She shook her head.
"No! He's here! He's back! And, and, he needs help! He needs me to help him!"
"Who?" Fred asked, terrified. She had never seen Cordy like this. It freaked Gunn out a bit too.
"Angel."
"Cordy. Angel's dead." Gunn said. Everyone was gathered around her, worried. Except Buffy, who was still very angry with her.
"I know."
"Sweetie. What do you mean? You're kind of scaring us." Lorne said softly.
"I knew I shouldn't have come here. I should go." She went to get up, but Gunn grabbed her hand and sat her down.
"You ain't going no where. Cause I'll have to go look for you. Then I'll really have to chew your ass out." She smiled at Gunn. Lorne looked at Cordelia closely.
"You look exhausted Cordelia."
"I am."
"When was the last time she slept?" Lorne asked Conner.
"Last night." He looked closer, and Cordelia gave him an odd look.
"A good night's sleep."
"Before dad died."
"Because that's when he comes to me. The only time he can." Everyone's eyes were still on Cordy. "At night, when I'm sleeping. He's in my dreams, all of them. Every night. He comes to me." She said in a husky voice, her eyes becoming pale. "He needs my help." She sighed a shakey sigh. "I just don't know how."
"Is that why you're here?" Gunn asked. She nodded.
"Lorne," Wesley started, "Is there any way to tell who's sending Cordelia these dreams."
"Dammit Wesley! I may not know a lot about books and all that shit like you guys, okay?! But I know it's Angel!"
"How do you know? It's not like your mind hasn't been invaded before Cordelia. Wolfram and Hart have done it before."
"I know this, okay? I know him."
"It's just to make sure Cordy." Was Wesley's responce. "They could be in your head again, making you think Angel's coming to you. I don't know why, but they aren't ones for intelligent reasons so..."
"I know it's him Wes. I can feel it."
"Then it won't hurt to be positive." She groaned.
"Fine." She looked at Lorne. "Just no spinning stuff."
"Sweetie, do you think that after last concusion you gave me that I would even try the spinning thing again?"
"I guess not. Okay then Lorne, do your thing."
"Alright honey, just relax."
"Easier said then done." Lorne put his thumbs to the side of her head, moving them in a circular motion. Cordelia's eyes closed as she tried to let herself get lost in her own mind to help Lorne.
"Now, concentrate on a place where you feel a lot of enery."
"My old apartment."
"Sweetie, you have a ghost there. You're going to feel some energy."
"No, not Dennis. Something else."
"Okay, okay. It's your head. Alright, you're at your old apartment. What do you see? Give me play by play here." Cordelia could feel herself there, or at least a part of her. It was almost like she astroprojected.
"Well, it's really bare. You guys sure cleaned it out. Dennis is here. He seems really happy to see me. Um, he wants me to go into my old room. Okay, I'm walking in my room. Hey. My dresser! It's still here! you were gonna leave my dresser?!"
"We didn't get a chance to finish taking everything out." Gunn said defensively.
"Whatever. I'll just come later and- whoa. That's weird. I could've sworn I just saw...Angel?" Everyone in the room perked up."
"Cordy. Give me a report here. What's going on?"
"I, I don't know. He's just...here. I, um." Lorne froze.
"Uh-oh."
"What do you mean 'uh-oh?'" Wesley asked. Lorne gave him a terrified look.
"I lost her."
"WHAT?!" Everyone in the room screamed, making Lorne cring at the sound.
"She let go. Her subconscious was hanging on so I could ask her questions, I could hear her, she could hear me and respond. She said she saw Angel, and she let go. I can't bring her back. She has to bring herself back. She has to want to."
"And you don't think she'd want to?" Xander asked.
"No, especially not if she's in her own little world and Angel just happens to exist in it."
Cordelia looked at the transparent form resembling him.
"Angel?" She asked, her voice hopeful and barely audible. Slowly, Angel's form became solid. As soon as it did, she ran to him, embracing him in a hug. He returned it, just happy to have her in his arms. And it took all his strength to gentley push her away. She looked at him, hurt and confusion apparent in her eyes.
"I missed you." She said in a quiet voice.
"I missed you too." He said. She smiled at him, but he didn't return it. She looked in his eyes and she saw nothing. No spark, no twinkle, no gold flash, just an empty void. Everything that made him who he was was destroyed. He was bruised and beaten. And for the first time ever, Angel didn't look like the twenty-seven year old man he was supposed to resemble. He looked every bit his age. Every year, day, hour, minute, and second showed in his face and eyes. He was Angel, but without everything he had worked so hard to gain. No hope, no happiness, no love, no trust, nothing.
"God, Angel. What happened to you? You look aweful." He just stared at her, sensing her sadistic bitch-like tone.
"You know what? Forget it. This was pointless." He turned around and started to disappear again before she grabbed his arm and turned him toward her.
"Dammit Angel. If it's so unimportant, why the hell have you been coming to me in my dreams? Why, if it's pointless?"
"Becasuse I need your help." She gave him a questioning look. "You ever heard of pergatory Cordelia?" She stared at him. He sighed. "Limbo Cordy! The gate way between Heaven and Hell?!"
"I know what you're talking about Angel. I'm just waiting for you to get on with the story."
"That's where I'm stuck Cordy. You guys need to get me out of here."
"How?"
"I don't know! Dead, remember?!"
"Well, you don't have to yell! And yes! I remember!"
"Okay, sorry. But-" Angel froze, a paniced look coming over his face. "I have to go."
"What? Angel, you can't just...go."
"I have to. I-" In that moment the giant rocky, horn demon was back. And with a couple words in a language she never heard, Angel was now gone.
"Angel!" Cordelia's scream made everyone in the room jump. Gunn and Wes tried to hold Cordelia down as she struggled against them. In her mind, it was the demon and he was attacking her. She fought and struggled against them.
"How did you get her out of it last time?" Xander asked, terrified for his ex who still held a place in his heart.
"We couldn't. Angel did. He was the only one who could snap her out of it!" Cordelia felt hands holding her down by her shoulders. So she fought back. Her fists start flying, hitting Wesley then Gunn in their faces. They went flying back. In her mind she stood up and went to the demon.
"Angel!" She called, praying he would hear her and come back.
"You won't get him back. Angelus is with us now. Where he belongs."
"He's not Angelus! He's Angel!" She screamed. "Angel! Can you hear me?! Angel, please." Gunn, Wesley, Conner, and Buffy held Cordelia down, recieving a couple bruises as she faught them. Lorne went to her and tried to bring her back. She repeated "Angel" over and over again, crying, until they brought her back. She looked around and didn't see him, which only caused her hysteria. The Scoobies were dumbfounded.
"What happened Cordelia?" Wesley asked gently. But she was exhausted and was too damn tired to explain what she had just gone through. Luckily, they saw that in her eyes. Wesley helped her stand, then helped her walk upstairs.
"Wes? Can I take Angel's room?" He smiled sadly at her and nodded. He led her in the room. It was dark and slightly musty. She inhaled deeply and could still smell what remained of Angel's scent. She crawled into his bed, a place she had spent before with Angel and Conner when he was a baby. She curled up into a ball, and wrapped the silk sheets and blankets around her. She thought of Angel and cryed. Wesley, outside of the room, heard her muffled sobs. With a heavy sigh, he walked downstairs, ready to discuss anything with the groups and, more particularly, Lorne. When he got down stairs, he heard yelling. He saw Faith here, her and Buffy about to rip one another's throats out.
"Oh bloody hell!" They stared at him. "I swear to God, if you two start fighting I will let Conner beat both your asses. And he will too." Wesley was frustrated. It was going to be a LONG day.

Cordelia groaned loudly as she tossed and turned in a Angel's bed. Memories of lying next to Angel, feeding Conner his bottle, lingered in her mind as the tears dried on her face. It was only a year ago and, as always, thing had changed so fast. Those were the only times she had ever woken up in Angel's bed. She remembered one time, waking up wrapped in his arms. She had never felt safer. Now he was gone and nothing inside of her felt right and her heart ached for him.
"God Angel. I miss you. I miss you so much." She only hoped he could hear her. With that, she crawled out of bed and walked downstairs, the arguing she had faintly heard becoming louder. Obviously women. She recognized Buffy, but who was the other woman? "Is that...Faith?" Faith dodged a punch from Buffy and looked to Cordelia, while trying to keep as far away from Buffy as possible. From the looks of it no one was stupid enough to get in the middle of a fight between two slayers.
"Hey Cordelia. Can you do me a favor? Can you please explain to Buffy," dodging another punch, "that I'm," ducking under a kick, "welcome here!" Now Faith was becoming angry at Buffy as well and hit her, landing the punch in her jaw as Buffy fell back.
"Yeah. She is Buffy."
"Like that means anything. I don't even think you should be here after what you did." Buffy said, standing up, and straightening her clothes.
"Yeah, well, tough. Now I-" Cordelia's eyes began to glow white, until the hazel was completely gone. The Scoobies stared at her in terror, except for Spike who had sensed her being half demon since he first arrived.
"What do you see?" Wesley asked, holding her arm gently.
"Angel and, and, the beast. To get him back, we have to free the beast too." Her eyes changed back and she began to rub her temples, Wesley releasing her arm.
"Well, maybe it's time you tell us what we got to do to save him." He gently said. She nodded.
"First, can someone fill me in on what's going on?" Cordy sighed as everyone gathered around. She started from the begining, explaining everything to Faith, who became utterly pissed at Cordelia. Then she continued on, explaining everything that she had seen and felt while her mind or whatever was at her apartment talking to Angel.
"So, what do we have to do to get Angel back?" Fred asked.
"Well, I think our main player in this is going to be you Will." Willow raised an eyebrow. "You have the expertise in the black arts that we need." Willow couldn't help the smile that crept on her face. "You need any assistance, Wesley and Fred are total brainiacs, so they can help. Buffy, Faith, Gunn, Conner, and Spike, you guys are our muscle. When it comes down to it, you guys are in charge of kicking Stone boy's ass. Lorne, you go to whoever you can and get some info from those PTB assholes."
"Um, not to interupt Princess, but you have a better connection to them then I do."
"It's cause you're a half breed now, huh?" Spike asked. Cordelia rolled her eyes.
"Right Spike. Because I'm a half breed. Which, by the way, I'm proud of okay? I'm half demon by choice.
"You're half demon?!" Xander asked, surprised.
"Yeah. I had to."
"Why?"
"For Angel." She said proudly.
"For the poof?!" Spike yelled.
"Yeah."
"Hello! Why?!" Xander asked.
"I don't know. People do crazy things when they're in love." Buffy and Xander stared at her as the room grew silent.
"Not expecting that." Xander said.
"I wasn't either. But this isn't about me. This is about Angel. Now, we need to get cracking." Buffy was about to protest. "Don't Buffy. Because I don't need you. You're just the toy surprise in the happy meal, alright? I can so do this without you. I have Faith, and Gunn, Wesley, and Fred, Conner, Lorne, and even I'm in an ass kicking mood. So don't screw with me."
"Yeah. But you need Willow."
"Yeah. I do. And whether or not she stays is her choice Buffy. Not yours." The tension in the room was overwhelming. Until Cordelia felt a sharp pain shoot through her head. "We have to hurry."
"Then I suggest we start researching." Wesley said. So they cracked open the books and got to work.

Two hours later, Wesley said the word Cordelia was waiting for.
"Eureka!" Lorne gave Welsey an annoyed look. "I mean, I've found something. I believe this is the encantation you will need." Cordelia walked to Wesley and looked over the spell.
"That's it." She handed it to Willow. "Can you make it work?"
"Is 27 the square root of 729?"
"I'll take that as a yes. What are you going to need?"
"Um, nothing special. Some black candals, five to be exact. One white one to place in the center. Um, some sage, 100% Virgin Olive Oil to purify the candals. And some, uh, red paint for the pentagram. A ritual kinfe and bowl. And the blood of someone, no, two poeople very close to Angel to mix with the olive oil. Probably you Cordelia, sense you have the visions. From what you've told me before in our e-mails, I think you're mentally connected to Angel. But you all probably knew that. And you Conner, sense you are his son and all. you two have the same genes. Only a few drops or so from each of you to make it work."
"Okay. No problem." She looked at the group and sighed. "Okay, I'll go get the supplies. Willow, come with me so I get the right stuff."
"Alright." They walked outside and Cordelia took the wheel. On the way to the nearest black magic supply shop, curiousity was killing Willow. "Cordy, what went on with you and Angel?"
"What do you mean?" Cordy asked, never taking her eyes off the road.
"You and Angel. I mean, it's only obvious that this is way more than a, 'I want to get my friend back,' thing. Not that that isn't a good reason. I just mean that, well, you said that you loved him, and all the drama before he died, and then you told Buffy not exactly with the sleeping with him thing, what I'm trying to say is..."
"Willow. Are you asking me if I slept with Angel?" Cordelia asked with a smile. Willow turned three shades of red.
"What?! No! Because, that would be a rude and very personal question! And I would never, ever...did you?" Cordelia broke into laughter as she glanced at Willow, then back to the road."
"No Willow. I never slept with him. Exactly. There was this one time at the ballet...but we were both possesed with spirits of past lovers so, yeah."
"Oh. So it wasn't like an intimate moment." Cordelia smiled and blushed slightly.
"Well, I didn't say that." Willow blushed again and they both erupted into a fit of giggles. Cordelia parked in front of the store. They got out, and bought all the supplies they needed, then got back itno the car.
"So, then, besides that, what else is up with Angel?" Cordelia gave Willow a sad look, with tears in her eyes and Willow knew. "You love him, don't you?" Cordelia nodded.
"More then anyone I've ever loved. And I screwed it all up." She said and started to cry, so she moved to the side of the road.
"How?" Willow asked, ready to be the comforting friend.
"God, in so many ways! With the going to the higher plane and then not remembering him! Staying with Conner instead! Then sleeping with Conner! And Angel saw, and he was all depressed and wanted to die! And now he is dead! And It's all my fault! And now things are supposed to be all great because we're going to bring him back and I thought, 'Yay! I can finally be with Angel!'"
"Well, why can't you?"
"Becuase it just hit me! What if he doesn't want to be with me?! God, I regected him before because I didn't think I could forgive him for everything he's done as Angelus! I couldn't forgive him because he screwed up! Dammit, it wasn't even him! It was Angelus! And then I did the unforgivable! I slept with his son! The only kid he can ever have, and I slept with him! And now, I'm just realizing how meaningless everything he did is because it was never him! He had no control over it! And he's not even here! I can't even be with him! He wouldn't want to be with me anyway!" Cordelia became hysterical once more. Her face buried in her arms on the wheel.
"Cordelia, if Angel didn't care about you, even in the slightest way, why would he come to you?"
"I don't know. Because of the whole Warrior/Seer connection thing. Maybe I was the only person that he could contact."
"I really doubt that Cordelia. If someone loves someone else truely, the love never dies."
"I hope your right Willow." She said, wiping her eyes.
"What are you talking about? I'm Willow remember, I'm always right." She said with a smile and Cordelia returned it.
"Right. Well, we better get back, because I know I'm right when I say the time is near." She paused. "God, and I told Wesley and Gunn to stay away from the television." She started the engine and they made their way back to the hotel. They walked inside and the AI group immediately noticed her red eyes.
"What's wrong honey bun?" Lorne asked.
"Nothing." Cordelia lied. "Just thinking. Now, let's get to my old apartment and start the ritual." She said, avoiding the subject and her fear of what would happen. Willow got everything she needed, then pulled Cordelia aside for a second.
"I need to tell you something. If this spell goes right, Angel will be rid of the happy clause."
"What?!"
"Shhh. I haven't told anyone this. Not even Buffy."
"Why not? I thought you'd want her and Angel to get back together."
"I did. Until I realized how much you love him." Cordy reached out and gave Cordelia a hug.
"Thank you Will."
"No problem. Just keep this quiet. You might have to tell Angel though. Or, you could tell him after you prove it to him." Willow had a devilish smile and winked at Cordelia, who could do nothing but laugh.
"Not a bad idea."
"Hey! You two want to hurry it up? We got a time limit here!"
"We're coming! Keep your shirt on Gunn!"
"Don't start with me Barbie!" Gunn yelled. Cordelia came into his view, Willow behind her. They walked outside and got into the cars. The sun had just started to set. The image of the sky sent chills down her spine as she remember her dream last night. They drove to the old apartment and walked to the door. It immediately opened and Cordelia felt Dennis circling around her. This was certainly more than a bit odd to the Scoobies. The AI's walked in, the Scoobies didn't, except Spike.
"Come on in you guys. It's just Phantom Dennis. Don't call him a ghost. It upsets him." She felt him wrap his arms around her. "Okay Dennis, I get it, I'm happy to see you too." He let go. "Maybe when we're done Willow can find a way to transfer you to the hotel." Cordy looked at Willow, who nodded. "Okay. Let's get down to buisness." They walked to her old bedroom door and Cordelia went to open it, and found that she couldn't. "Dennis! Knock it off!" But the ghost wouldn't budge. "Come on Dennis!" Nothing. "If you don't stop it I'll just let them get rid of you permanently!" It obviously worked because the door flew open. "Damn stubborn ghost." The door to the room slamed. "Fine! Through a fit! See if I care!" She looked around her empty room, then to the dresser. She closed her eyes and let the memories from earlier flood over her. "Here." She said, pointing to where the bed used to be. They drew a red pentagram on the floor with the paint. Willow got the bowl out and poured the olive oil inside it. Then she got the sage, crushed it, and put it in as well. She took the knife and went to cut Cordelia and Conner. Cordy sighed. "Give me that." She said, Willow was a little too squimish to cut other people. Cordelia cut her hand, then Conner cut his, slashed that stopped bleeding almost immediately. The blood mixed with the oil and sage. Willow lit a match and threw it in there. As she chanted, it turned an odd black color, then went back to normal, cooling instantly. She got the candals and rubbed them with this from center to top, then center to bottom, all eyes on her. After she purified all six candals, she placed the five black ones at each corner and the white one in the center. She sat int the center, holding the white candal and started to chant. Half way through she stopped. Her eyes opened and were black and glazed over. She continued, her voice getting louder, then all the candals in the room blew out. Willow's eyes closed then re-opened and were normal. She walked to the group and they felt the earth start to shake. Then Angel was back, he fell to the floor, clothes ripped and blood stained. He looked terrified as he looked at them. Then his head turned and he stared at the huge rock demon in front of him. Buffy, Spike, Conner, Gunn, and Faith got ready to fight. The demon laughed.
"Such courage for mortals." He looked at Angel. "Really Angelus, you honestly think they will kill me?" Cordelia ran to Angel, he looked even more pale than usual. She ran her hand along his face, before he passed out. Now Cordelia was pissed.
"You did this to him. You're the reason he's all beat up and bruised and looks like a freakin ghost.." The demon looked at her.
"I knew from the moment I saw you that you had courage." He chuckled. "Stupid girl." She took the sword from Gunn and stalked towards it.
"I'll show you stupid you rocky son of a bitch." As Cordelia tried to fight the demon, all the overwhelming emotions came to a head. Tears fell from her eyes as she fought and she started to glow. First white, then a reddish color, which transfered to the demon when she struck him. The light engulfed him, then he was gone. Cordelia was exhausted.
"Okay. Now that was tight." Gunn said.
"Well sweetie, that's one heck of a new power you got there." Lorne said, but their voices became lost as she stared at her fallen Angel. She went to him and touched his face softly, a tear falling down hers.
"Conner. Spike." They came towards her and helped Angel stand. With one of his arms around each of them, the helped drap him to the car. Once they were back to the hotel Cordy had them drag him in. They placed him on the couch and he slowly regained consciousness. "He needs blood." Cordy said.
"We don't have any." Wesley said sadly.
"Yeah we do." Buffy said, rolling up her sleeve. Cordelia rolled her eyes.
"Oh yes. Miss. Likes-To-Fight has all the answers. 'Everyone bow before me. I am the slayer.'" Buffy ignored Cordelia and went to Angel. She placed her wrist to his lips. He bit into it, then he grew tense. With a growl, he pushed her away from him.
"What the hell?" Buffy said angrily. She looked at Willow, who shrugged.
"He needs the blood of his soul mate."
"Well duh! I am his soul mate!" Buffy yelled.
"I thought the Chit was Peaches' new flame." Xander and Buffy glared at Cordelia. But she didn't care anymore. This thing with Buffy was becoming out of hand. And she wasn't backing down. She walked to Angel and moved the side of her shirt down, past her shoulder. Angel could hear her heartbeat and it was making him insane. His fangs grew and his brow became rigid. Angel moved his head to her neck and inhaled her scent, before his fangs punctured her neck. She winced slightly then relaxed, trusting Angel completely. Seconds later, he pulled away. He looked at them, most of his color back. His dark chocolate eyes bore into her's and she flinched under his hard gaze. He snarled at her and was up in his room in a second. He shut his door and leaned against it. This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to have this pain. It wasn't supposed to hurt like this. The pain had left before, and now it was back. He had forgotten how painful life really was. But it had all come rushing back, when he looked into those hazel eyes.

Two Days Later
Cordelia groaned in frustration and laid her head in her hands.
"What's wrong sweet pea?" Lorne asked. Cordelia looked at him sadly.
"It's been two days Lorne. He hasn't come downstairs, he won't talk to anyone, let alone me. I just want to know what's going on in his head."
"Okay, so our Angelcakes has locked himself up for a while. Honey, you have to take into consideration, he just came back from the dead. He's got to be going through a lot right now."
"Exactly. So at least talk to someone. I went in the last night. He was asleep. Something really mad must have happened to him Lorne. I mean, he had the blankets pulled up to his neck. He was shaking. I mean, vampires don't get cold Lorne. He kept growling in his sleep too. And I went to the table where everybody has been leaving him his blood. Nothing. He hasn't eaten, or drinken, or whatever since he's been back. That can't be good. I wish he would just talk. If not to me, then someone. Anyone. Just so we can find out what's going on in that head of his." Conner smiled and went to the microwave, pulling out the mug. He shook his head. It disgusted him, but hey, his father was a vampire. Who, at this moment, seemed to hate him. The blood drinking was just another fact about him now. He could deal with it. He snuck upstairs and to Angel's room. He walked in, the hair on his neck standing up. He turned on the light. He looked around, and in a dark corner, spotted Angel. He put the blood on the table next to him. He pulled a chair out and sat next to his dad. Angel stared at him. Conner began to squirm under Angel's penetrating gaze. Angel smirked slightly and started to chuckle. Conner raised a brow at him.
"You're scared."
"No I'm not."
"Liar. I can tell. The twitching and all doesn't help."
"You have a deadly gaze there dad."
"I know." He said, standing up. He was dressed in black on black. No surprise there. "What are you doing up here?"
"Well, everyone is really worried about you."
"Why's that?" Angel asked, sitting on his bed.
"Because you've been hiding up in your room for the last two days. And you haven't eaten."
"Aww, so they sent you up here to try and get me to go downstairs?"
"No. They don't know I'm up here."
"Oh. You snuck past them all huh?"
"Yeah." Angel sighed a content sigh, then smiled.
"You inherited all my good traits kid, you know that?"
"Well duh." Conner said. He stood up and walked to the bed and flopped on it. Angel laughed.
"But, you still have a long way to go before you are as skilled as I am."
"Please. You know I am way stronger than you."
"Hah! You keep saying that, yet the only way you can take me down is with use of a taser. Oh, and by the way, those things do hurt, you know?"
"Yeah, actually I do. Fred kind of went crazy on me with the taser after she found out about the whole me sending you to the bottom of the ocean thing."
"That wasn't too fun either. Hell was worse though."
"So, Buffy, she was the girlfriend."
"Yup."
"And she's the slayer."
"Yeah."
"And she knows you're a vampire."
"Uh-huh."
"Wow." Conner had a very odd look on his face. Angel snorted. "What?" Conner asked.
"Okay. I will explain this to you. That is, if you don't mind spending a few hours with your undead, blood sucking, broody father."
"There's worse things." Conner said. And at that moment, Angel knew the father/son relationship he always wanted with Conner, was possible.

Everyone else was downstairs when they faintly heard a fit of laughter erupt. They looked at each other then walked up the stairs and stopped in front of Angel's slightly open door. They heard Conner's laugh, then Angel's, which made them all jump.
"Okay, but I still don't get that thing with you, mom, the shovel and the horse." Everyone exchanged glances.
"Well, funny thing about Darla is she wasn't a real team player."
"But mom was your sire."
"You'd think that would mean something, huh?"
"Yeah. It didn't?"
"Not when it came to my life or hers."
"So, what happened?"
"To make a long story short, Holtz was chasing us, there was only one horse, she hit me over the head with a shovel, knocked me out, took off on our only horse, and left me there to die."
"Some girlfriend."
"I've done worse."
"Alright, that's just wrong. The last thing I need is a mental picture of my dad in 'the act.'" Angel laughed, a sincere, rich laugh.
"Now you know how I felt with you and Cordy, except I had a mental image." He said making a mock face of disgust.
"Oh, fine! Bring up past screw ups." He said, making Angel laugh harder and he joined in. Cordy couldn't help but smile, happy they were finally bonding. Then the laughter died and an engulfing silence swallowed them all. "I really am sorry, Dad." Conner said, looking at Angel with tear filled eyes. "I never wanted to hurt you. Not like that. I didn't know...about you...and Cordy." Angel stared at his son, who was obvioulsy trying to keep himself from crying. Angel's mind floated back to when he was eighteen. All he wanted was his father's acceptence. He remembered promising himslef that if he ever had a child, he would never make him or her go through what his own father did to him. He went to Conner and wrapped his arms around him, Conner's face buried in his chest as he cryed.
"It's okay son." He comforted.
"No it's not. How could you forgive me? I, I tried to kill you I don't know how many times, I sent you to the bottom of the ocean for three months, I...with Cordelia, I made you want to die. How can you stand to be around me?"
"Conner, look at me." Conner looked at Angel. "You're my son. Everything you've done, and everything that might happen in the future, it doens't matter. No matter what, you're my son. It doesn't matter how many times you screw up. You're my son, and I love you."
"I love you too, Dad." Angel stiffened, then relaxed again. It was the first time Conner had ever said that, and Angel couldn't help the smile on his face and the mist that clouded his vision. Cordelia wiped her eyes.
"Let's go back downstairs." She mouthed to everyone. They nodded and followed her downstairs.
Two more days went by and Angel still didn't come down. But, Conner spent most of that time up there with him. The two talked constantly, wanting to know everything about one another. Everything that was lost in those eighteen years Conner spent in Quor'toth. The pain was leaving Angel and he felt so happy. So, when he awoke the next morning, he decided to go downstairs. Nothing about it hurt him. It wasn't the place or the time, it was her. And as long as he could stay away, he knew he'd be fine.
"Well, well, well! Look who finally stopped hibernating in his cave! How you doing Cupcake?" Angel looked at Lorne with a smile. "Wow! I'm sensing a happy vibe here, am I right?"
"Yeah. It's weird but, it feels like I never lost him. Like I raised him myslef."
"Well, I'm happy for you Honeybun." The Scoobies and the AI's, minus Cordy, walked in the room.
"Angel!" Fred screeched. Before he knew what happened, the amall woman wrapped her arms around him.
"Hey Fred." Angel said and returned the hug. As soon as she released, Willow went to hug him, then hesitated. He held his arms out and she rushed to hug him. "Nice to see you Will."
"Glad to have you back Angel." She said, pulling away.
"Yeah man. It wasn't the same without you." Gunn said.
"Yes. It made pulling you out of the ocean a total waste of my time." Angel laughed and exchanged a manly hug with each of them. His eyes wandered and his lips twitched into a smile.
"Faith?" She smiled.
"Hey there hot stuff. Bout time you got your ass back here." He gave her a hug.
"When did you get out?"
"Last week. Imagine my surprise when I came to see my dark hero and found out he was no longer in service."
"Yeah. Whole thing with saving the world. I'm your hero?"
"Don't get all mushy on me here. I think that's what B's here for."
"What?" Faith moved here head to the set, and Angel turned to find himself staring into the blue orbs. "Buffy." Her eyes were red and she wiped them.
"Angel." She was crying and all Angel could do was walk to her and wrap his arms around her. She looked him in the eyes. "Don't you ever leave again." He held her tightly.
"I won't." He moved her chin up and she leaned up for the kiss.
"Oh somebody, please stake me now!" Angel's head turned and Buffy glared at Spike. Angel gave an evil smirk.
"Spike. I'd say it was nice to see you but, comsidering the fact that the last time you were here you and your little scientist wannabe friend tortured me..."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I take it I never apoligized for that did I?"
"No, not really."
"Oh well." Angel groaned.
"So, Deadboy. How does it feel to be back from the dead. Again?"
"About the same. How's it feel to have me back?"
"Well, once again, I was hoping you'd stay dead but-"
"Xander!" The Scoobies all yelled.
"Hey. Where's Dawn?" Angel asked.
"After you died. Spike drove her home." Buffy said.
"And you came back why?" Angel asked Spike.
"Oh, right. Like you aren't happy to see me." Angel rolled his eyes, then froze. He could feel her eyes on his back, burning into him like fire.
"Angel?"
"Cordy." He turned to look at her, but as soon as he did, all the pain came rushing back. Just like he knew it would.
"Oh my God Angel. I'm so glad you finally came down." She went to hug him, but he backed away. "Angel, I..."
"No. No. Not again. No, no, no, no, no!" He screamed. It was like a dagger in his heart.
"Angel." She went to touch him but he grabbed her hand.
"Please, don't touch me." His voice was so stern. He released her hand and walked upstairs to his room, slaming the door.
"I, I don't understand."
"He hasn't forgiven you yet. Sorry sweet pea." She nodded. Sucking up her tears. "Give it some time. He'll come around."
Angel leaned his back against his door and slid down to a sitting position. It hurt so bad. He had never felt pain like this. And he knew it would drive him mad if he didn't do something about it. Too bad he wasn't exactly sure how. He stayed in their until he was positive Cordelia was asleep. When he came out, the hotel was dark and everyone was in their rooms. He walked down the stairs and sat in the living room.
"A little early in your arrival to be brooding, don't you think so?" Angel turned his head and saw Buffy.
"Not really."
"Want to talk?" He raised an eyebrow at her. "Well, I hear you had kind of changed. I was just wondering if that included your lack of talking as well." He returned staring in front of him. "Guess not." She said and took a seat next to him. "Angel-"
"It hurts so bad." She nearly jumped when she heard his voice.
"What?"
"The pain. I had forgotten how bad it hurts. How it felt when I was alive before. It was gone but when I saw her, it all came back." Buffy couldn't help the jealousy she felt. "I knew it would to. I just, I just want to forget it. I want to forget her. What she can do to me. I've never had my heart broken by a woman. I mean, I've broken it myself, like when I left you. But this, when it's not self-inflicted. God. It feels so much worse."
"I know." She said, remembering when Angel had broken up with her. "I've been there. It hurts so bad. It's like, you can't breathe. Well, you don't need to but, you know what I mean. It's like someone has pulled your heart right out of your chest. Makes you feel like you'd rather die then grow through that." Angel stared at Buffy, realization hitting him.
"I never meant to hurt you. I thought I was doing what was best for you. You had no future with me."
"I still don't know how you ever got that idea Angel. You were the only thing I ever saw in my future."
"It was actually your mom who got to me. She pretty much asked me to leave you."
"And you listened? Angel, a mother is always protective over their daughter."
"Yeah. But she made too much sense Buffy. I was clouding your vision."
"How do you know I didn't like it that way? Maybe I liked what I saw." He sighed. She looked at him, leaned over and kissed him. Angel didn't know what to do, so he kissed her back. Trying once again, to forget. Even though, he did not feel the spark he once did. Then she pulled away. "But it's over now, and you still love Cordelia, you haven't forgotten her."
"So make me forget." It wasn't a question or a command or anything like that. It was a plea. And once again their lips met. But when they parted this time he grabbed her hand and led her up stairs. He left her infront of her room and was about to go to his when she grabbed his hand. She opened her door and led him in.
"Angel. I'm going to ask you a question."
"Go ahead."
"Come back to Sunnydale with me Angel?" His eyes widened as he stared at her in shock. "It can be like old times. Patrolling at night. You could stay at my house, if you want to. And, of course, Conner could come if he wants. I think him and Dawn might hit it off." Angel just stared at her, unaware of what to say. He couldn't find his voice anyway. "It would be so wonderful Angel. We could be together again." Angel's mind screamed *No!* but he wasn't listening to his mind. He was listening to his heart. And all it was telling him was to get as far away from the pain as possible. And the pain was here.
"Yes."
"Hey, we could even do the picnic thing and I'll read, because I know you like reading."
"I said yes. You'd read for me?"
"Well, I'd pretend to and try to seem remotely interested." He chuckled.
"You don't have to do that. I already said yes." She smiled at him, embracing him in yet another hug. "Good night Buffy." He said and kissed her softly on the lips, then walking out and closing her door. He sighed and walked to his. He jumped when he saw Conner in there. "Couldn't sleep?"
"Nope."
"Must be that night-lover streak in you."
"I guess." He looked at Angel. "So what's up?" With a nervous smirk, Conner explained everything to Conner, including the fact that Conner had a choice to make.After he was done, he stared expectantly and Conner.
"So?"
"So, what?"
"Yes or no?" Conner sighed.
"Well, it'd be pretty stupid of me to stay if you're leaving. I just got my father back, why let him go again?"
"Smart boy. Wonder who you get it from."
"Me too."
"Are you attemping sarcasm with me?"
"Maybe."
"Well, you should get some sleep. the next few days should be pretty interesting."
"Dad. Cord-"
"I know." With that, Conner went to his room and fell asleep, as Angel lay staring at the walls until he fell asleep.

It was almost exactly twenty-four hours and Angel had not stopped pacing since. How was he going to do this? How was he supposed to tell the woman who held his humanity in the palm of her hand that he had to leave her? That everytime he saw her, it felt like someone was ripping his heart out? That he couldn't forgive her? He didn't know, but he had to figure it out soon because he could feel her approaching his door. Then there was the knock.
"I know you're in here." She said before she opened the door. "You wanted to talk to me?" She asked, sitting on his bed.*Now or never old man.* He thought to himself.
"I have something I really need to tell you."
"Yeah. Me too."
"Okay. You go first." *Chicken shit!* He yelled to himself.
"Angel. I know I hurt you."
"Cordy, please-"
"No! Let me finish. I know I did. And I'm so sorry. And I would give anything to take it back. And I know it's not possible, but-"
"You're right. It isn't possible."
"I know."
"No. You don't. You have no idea."
"Well, maybe because you've been back for almost a week and you won't talk to me!"
"Because I can't stand to look at you!" As soon as the words came out, part of him wanted to take them back. But the other part didn't. His heart. It wanted to make her feel as rotten as he did. "You know why?! Because every time I do, I see betrayal! I see you and Conner and it cuts me up inside! He's eighteen Cordy! Eighteen! He had no idea! You knew! You knew everything! And it didn't matter! I didn't matter! For all you knew I could've been dead! I was as close as I could come to death! And what were you doing?! You were fucking my son! That's why I can't talk to you Cor! Because everytime I do, I want to drive a stake through my own heart just so I won't have to feel this way anymore!"
"Angel, I, I didn't kn-" *Now or never.* He thought, turning his back to her. It would be easier if she didn't see his face.
"I'm leaving tomorrow night."
"What?! What do you mean you're leaving?!"
"Conner and I. We're leaving for Sunnydale tomorrow night. That's what I needed to tell you."
"No. No! You can not just up and leave whenever things get a little rocky on the road Angel!"
"A little rocky?! We're talking a freakin boulder Cordelia!"
"Angel. I know I screwed up okay? I do. And I never meant to cause you this much pain. I could never, I love you Angel." Angel blinked back the sting of tears. Why did she have to make this so damn hard?
"I'm leaving Cordy."
"Look at me Angel." He didn't turn. "Look at me! If you can look me straight in the eye and tell me that you don't love me, that you don't want to be with me, that you don't even want to try to work it out! I'll let you go."
"I'm not yours to let go of Cordelia."
"Do it!"
"Fine!" He turned to her, trying to gain his composure. "I don't." Her lips trembled along with her chin. And it broke Angel's heart all over again.
"Okay. I said if you could do it, and you did. I'll um, I'll leave you alone." She said, and walked out. As soon as the door closed, the tears fell. On both sides of the door.

It was one in the morning when Angel started packing. Conner had started too, not sleepy anyway. They were done by two. He had woken everyone up, save Cordelia. The Scoobies were all ready to go.
"It's not fair. You know she'd say that." Wesley said.
"I know. But it's easier this way. For everyone."
"I don't understand." Fred said with teary eyes.
"It's simple Fred. If I stay here, I'm going to keep feeling this way everytime I see her. And eventually, she's gonna think there's something wrong with herself. At least this way, she can move on, and so can I." She wrapped her arms around him.
"I'm going to miss you soooo much!"
"I'm going to miss you too. All of you." He said releasing her. He kissed her softly on her forehead. "Take care of each other."
"It ain't gonna right her with out you man."
"I'll drop you guys a line every now and then. Keep me posted on any of the big bads that come in. One's that you guys can't handle.
"Sir yes sir!' Wesley said with a mock sollute.
"Oh, and uh, keep the name. the other's, they just didn't fit right."
"Sir yes sir!" Now Wesley, Gunn, Lorne, and Faith did the same.
"And you guys call me a dork." He said. "I'll give you guys a call when I get settled." He gave them each a hug, then Conner did the same. They got in the car and followed the Scoobies.
"So, who's going to break it to Cordelia?" Wesley asked. They all looked at each other, then at Lorne.
"Oh, sure! Make the demon do the dirty work." He said saddly.

Hours later, they arrived at Buffy's house, just before day break. Angel shook Conner to wake him up and they walked inside. Dawn came out and when she saw Angel, latched onto him.
"Angel! Oh my God! It's so good to see you!"
"I guess her crush just came back." Willow said.
"Well, that's too bad." Buffy said, pulling her sister off of Angel. "Angel's back with me."
"That makes two." Buffy turned to the hallway to see...
"Riley? What are you doing here?"
"Hey look! It's Farmboy!" Angel said, making the Scoobied chuckle and making Spike laugh hard.
"I don't get it." Conner said.
"Inside joke. I'll explain later."
"You again!" Riley said staring at Angel. "Well, now I get to pay you back!" Riley said, hitting Angel in the face and sending him flying, only because Angel didn't expect it.
"Riley!" Buffy yelled. "Don't-" Conner looked at Angel then to Riley and went to launch out at him, before Angel stopped him.
"Dad! He-"
"I know." Angel said, wiping the blood from his nose. "But, if you start going all terminator on him, he won't wake up." Angel stopped. "Oh God, I'm talking like Gunn." He groaned.
"Angel. The guest room is next to mine and then there's my mom's old room. Conner can take one, you the other."
"Okay. Thanks Buffy." He wiped his nose again, which hadn't stopped bleeding. He grinned at Riley. "This ain't over." He said and walked upstairs.
"Wow. Dead boy ain't back for ten minutes and already has someone's ass to kick." Xander said.
"Xander, shut up." Willow, Dawn, and Buffy said. Buffy looked at Riley.
"You. Come with me." The walked into the living room. "What the hell was that about?!"
"What?"
"Oh, I don't know, how about the punching Angel in the face thing?!"
"Sorry, I just, I saw him and I remembered the last time I saw him, you remember that, with me limping with broken ribs and all. I guess I just kinda lashed out."
"Well, don't do it again because next time I'll have to let him kick your ass again. And if he doens't, his son probably will. You got lucky Angel stopped him."
"Wait. Angel has a son. How is that-"
"I don't know, it just is. And the kid has all the strengths of a vampire so..."
"Wait. Why is he here anyway?"
"Because Angel's moved back and him and I are together again." Riley laughed, thinking it was a joke.
"You're serious." She nodded. "Well, guess you got your boyfriend back."
"Yup. Still not sure what you're doing here though."
"Oh. That."
"Yeah that."
"I'll explain it to you some other time. The short version is my wife and I got a divorce."
"So you thought you'd come in and sweep me off my feet?"
"That was the plan. Yeah."
"Sweet. But I think you know-"
"Yeah. You're with Angel again. He's your true love. The whole soul mate, writen in the stars thing. I get it." He said and left. And when the words sank in, Buffy couldn't help but wonder if Angel still loved her like he used to. She knew she did, but did he?

Once again, another month had passed by. And Cordelia knew it because every fibe in her being longed for Angel, which didn't do the team any good.
"Cordy. Cordy! CORDY!" Cordelia looked at Wesley.
"Sorry Wes, I was, um..."
"Zoning out again? Yes, I realized."
"Sorry. I was just-"
"Thinking of Angel again?"
"You know me too well Wes." She said softly and sadly. He gave her a sympathetic look.
"We all miss him Cordelia."
"Yeah, but he doesn't hate all of you guys."
"He doesn't hate you."
"Pfft! That's why he said I disgust him."
"We've been through this Cordelia."
"Yeah, right. You said he just said that."
"You know him Cordy. It's easier for him if you hate him."
"Too bad he's so stupid he doesn't realize that I could never hate him."
"Hey." Gunn said, walking in.
"What's up?" Wes asked.
"I got some info on out latest psycho."
"The rapist?"
"Yeah."
"He's about twenty-eight to thirty years old. Pretty tall about six feet one."
"Angel's height." Cordy said.
"Yeah. Kind of looks like our boy too. Except that he has a kind of blondish hair and a scar on the right side of his face."
"We got an address?"
"Yup. 7345 Argyle."
"I'm on it."
"Corsy I don't think-"Wesley started.
"Wesley. I'm not a baby, okay? I can take care of myself."
"I just don't think you should go alone."
"Yeah, well, you know me."
"Cordy."
"Don't take his side Gunn. I'm going, that's that." She said, grabbed her jacket, and walked outside to her jeep."

Buffy woke up in Angel's bed, looked around, and didn't see him. She walked into the living room area to find him asleep on the couch. She sighed and looked at the clock. It was almost eight at night. The group would be by soon. She walked to him and pushed his legs off the couch.
"Huh? What?"
"Wake up."
"I'm up. Buffy?" She sat down next to him.
"We need to talk Angel." She sat down next to him.
"What's wrong?"
"Angel. You've been back for a month. In that month, you haven't even held my hand. Let alone...anything else."
"I'm sorry Buffy. I'm just, I don't know."
"Angel. If this is because Cor-"
"No. It has nothing to with her." *Liar!* His mind said.
"I want to believe you but, I can't help but wonder. Do you even want to be with me? Can you honestly say that you still love me?" She looked at him, her heart on the line. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of his lap, a leg on either side of his body, straddling him. He stared at her.
"Yes. I do." *LIAR!* He blocked his thoughts out of the way. He wanted to feel something. Not guilt. Not pain. He wanted, no needed to feel love. And Buffy had tried to give that to him. So why did he pull away? He made up his mind, he wouldn't pull away anymore. Her face was inches from his and he kissed her. She wrapped his arms around his neck. But he didn't feel anything. He still didn't feel that spark he used to. So he pulled away. But when he did, he didn't see blue. He saw hazel. He knew it wasn't her. But if he could pretend, just for a while, then he could make it through another day. His lips met hers again, with more passion this time. His hands threaded through her light hair, but his mind and heart registered brown instead of blonde. His hands went to the cover up to her shirt and removed it. Her hands moved to his shirt, undoing the buttons. Willow, Xander, Spike, Riley, and Giles walked in and froze. Angel's lips moved down to Buffy's neck, kissing and nibbling. Buffy's head went back and she moaned. Now Conner and Dawn walked in.
"I'm back from patrolling. Next time can I not take her? Oh my god!" He yelled. Angel and Buffy stopped turn, and looked at the group of people standing there. They stood up, Angel rebuttoned his shirt quickly, while Buffy straightened her shirt. "That was just a not needed image right there!" Conner yelled. Angel raised an eyebrow at his son. One that clearly said, 'You're pushing it.' But that didn't stop Conner."It burns! Oh no! I'm blind!"
"Oh shut the hell up." Angel said.
"Make me." Conner said.
"Oh, we going down this road again?"
"Only because you still think you can kick my ass."
"Only because I can."
"We-"
"You did a sweep?"
"Yeah."
"Any action?"
"Some. Obviously not as much as you were getting here."
"Hey!" Conner smirked and Angel just shook his head. Buffy walked past Riley, going to the kitchen. He leaned over and whispered to her.
"You acted like that with me." He grumbled. She said nothing and continued walking. "Oh, yeah. Because I'm not Angel."
"Riley! Would you stop it!" They stared at her. She smiled nervously. "Angel. You got any thing to drink?"
"Yeah. We got a lot of soda."
"Have any diet?" Angel looked at Conner and they both cringed.
"No flavor. Why would we?"
"Um, yes. Well, if we're all through with, uh, other things, we should get back to the research."
"Yeah. Just, everyone take a seat, somewhere." Angel said. He looked at Conner. "What's wrong?" He whispered.
"I'm bored. Nothing ever happens here."
"Yeah. Compared to LA, it's pretty quiet, isn't it?" He nodded. They sat down, and Buffy joined them. Conner didn't like Buffy. He didn't know why, he just didn't. Her sister was cute. She liked him, he could tell. Her heart rate sped up every time she came near him. Loved that super hearing. So, they started talking, trying to develop stradegies to fight the latest demon or whatever. Angel and Conner weren't to interested in that. Then Angel felt a sharp pain through his heart and head. He winced with a hiss, gaining everyone's attention.
"Angel, what's wrong?" Buffy asked.
"I, I don't know. Something doesn't feel right." He felt it again and his eyes widened. "Cordy." He whispered. Buffy felt the pang of jealousy that shot through her.
"Dad? What's going on?"
"Something's wrong." He said. He went to his phone and dialed Wesley's number.
"Hello."
"Welsey-"
"You have reached Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. I am unable to take your call right now, but if you would leave a brief message with your name, phone number, and the time you called, I'd be happy to get back to you." Angel growled in anger. He hung up and dialed Gunn's cell.
"Hey."
"Gunn-"
"This is gunn. I'm not in right now. Leave a message, I'll get back to you. Later."
"Uggghhh!" He grumbled. He hung up and dialed Cordy's cell. A risk, yes. But one he had to make.
"Hi."
"Cordy. It's Ang-"
"Can't come to the phone right now and Dennis is too lazy to answer it. Leave me a message or call me back later. Bye."
"Dammit!" Angel yelled. He dialed the only other place he could think of. The hotel. Someone picked up.
"Angel Investigations. We help the helpless." '"Angel. It's hopeless." "Oh. We help the hopeless."' It was his own voice, and Cordelia's correcting him with the motto.
"Shit!" He yelled, frustrated and worried. He ripped the phone out and threw it, breaking it. "Where the hell are they?!"
"Angel." Giles said. "What's the matter?"
"Okay. You know when you get that feeling that tells you something's wrong?"
"Yes."
"I have that. And I know this isn't just a feeling. And now I can't get a hold of anyone. That's not normal!"
"Damn! We could hear you yelling all the way from outside." Angel turned his head to see Faith and Wesley.
"Thank God. Why the hell weren't you answering your phone?" He yelled, addressing Wesley.
"Because I left it at the hotel."
"Fine. What's up? Where's Cordy?" Wesely's face showed an extreme sadness. "Wesley. What's wrong with Cordy?"
"Angel. Cordy's in the hospital."
"What?" It wasn't so much a yell, as it was a cry of fear.
"She was shot. She's in the hospital now. Gunn, Fred, and even Lorne are with her right now."
"I gotta get down there."
"Angel. Don't get irrational."
"Wesley. This is Cordelia. you know as well as I do that I am way past rational thought. Who did this to her?"
"I don't think I-"
"Who?!" Angel demanded.
"She wouldn't tell us. None of us. She wants you Angel." Faith said simply.
"Okay. Conner, pack some stuff. We're going back to LA for a while." He tossed Conner the keys to his car. "Wesley." He held out his hand. With a sigh, Wesley handed him the keys to his motorcycle. "Meet me at the hospital." He said and grabbed his coat. With out a word, he was gone.

Angel drove at a law breaking speed. He arrived at the hospital and ran in. He saw Fred, Gunn, and Lorne, but he wasn't looking for them right now. He went to the front desk.
"Cordelia Chase."
"Sir. You're going to have to-"
"Cordelia Chase."
"Sir. Unless you-"
"Cordelia Chase!" The Scoobies, Wesley, Faith, and Conner came in.
"Sir, you're-"
"Listen to me. I have to see her."
"Are you family?"
"Not exactly."
"Well, unless you're family or her husband, you can't."
"I am."
"What?"
"Her husband. Angel Chase. I have to see her. I just drove three hours after finding out she was shot. I NEED to see my wife."
"Okay sir. Just wait right here-"
"No! No waiting. Nothing. Just take me to her right now, before I find her myself." He said in a deadly tone.
"I can't-" Angel growled and burst through the doors that led to the rooms. Nurses, doctors, and the groups behind him. He knew where she was, he could sense her. He barged into her room and froze. Everyone let out a gasp of shock. They all saw tears fall down Angel's cheeks as he looked at his love. She was deathly pale and there were wires every where. Her pulse was slow, and every small beat killed Angel a little more. "Conner! Get out of here!"
"But dad-"
"No!" Angel said, his voice broken. "You shouldn't see this."
"I'm not going."
"Please! Just go." Angel said, looking at his son, who was as stubborn as him and wouldn't budge. Everyone looked up as Cordelia stirred awake. "Cordy?"
"Angel?"
"Oh God! Cordy! You're okay!" She smiled saddly.
"It hurts Angel. Everything hurts. Even breathing."
"You'll be okay Cordy. I promise."
"I know Angel. It's just, it's hard." Tears of pain fell down her cheeks, as well as Angel's. She touched his cheek. Everyone went to leave, and WIllow pulled Buffy away.
"I'm so sorry Cordy. This never would have happened if I wouldn't have left." She wiped a tear from his face and he covered her hand with his.
"It's not your fault Angel. I made you leave. I made you want to stay away from me."
"No Cordy. I just. It hurt. It hurt so damn bad. And I didn't know how to stop the pain."
"I never-"
"Shh. Let me finish now, okay?" She nodded. "I thought, that if I left it would go away. That if I made you hate me so much that you would move on and forget about me."
"I could never hate you Angel."
"I know. And, I was gone. And I thought the pain was too. But the dreams Cordy. the dreams. You have not left my mind. You're all I think about."
"But you're with Buffy."
"I couldn't Cordy. Not even with Buffy. And every time I kissed her, I saw you. I wanted you. And I couldn't have you. Then, I felt your pain Cordy. I felt you, here, in the hospital, and all I wanted was to come and take away that pain. And I didn't care what it did to me." There was a silence. "I love you Cordy." Her hand squeezed his tightly.
"I love you too Angel. I thought you stopped-"
"I never could. That's why it hurt Cor. Because I love you so much, it killed me to see you with anyone else. The fact that it was Conner, well, that was just the icing on the cake."
"I'm sorry."
"I know." Cordelia grabbed his hand, moved over, and pulled Angel to the bed. He layed down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. She snuggled into him and they both felt all the pain evaporate. She looked at him, a sleepy smile on her face. He returned the smile. He stroked her hair softly and she drifted off into a peaceful sleep. "Good night Cordy." He whispered and kissed her softly on the forehead.
"Good night Angel." She mumbled before falling asleep, Angel following.

The Next Day
Angel carried a still very weak Cordelia into his room. He told her he'd be right back. She knew what he'd do. He'd stay awake all night, watching over her, dozing off every now in then, giving him enough rest to keep going. And he wouldn't complain. He'd fuss over her, not letting her get up to get herslef anything. Hell, he'd probably even bring her breakfast, lunch and dinner and bed. Just because he was that way. She grabbed his hand and pulled him down for a kiss. And finally, Angel felt the sparks and the fireworks.
"I'll, um, I'll be right back." He repeated. He walked downstairs and saw the Scoobies all packed and ready to go.
"You ready Angel?" Buffy asked.
"Buffy. I have to tell you something."
"Whatever it is, tell me on the way back."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not going back with you."
"Wait. What?"
"I'm not going back to Sunnydale with you Buffy."
"Why not?" She asked sadly.
"Buffy. I don't belong in Sunnydale. I belong in LA. I have people here who I care about, who actually care about me in return. I have to take care of them. Just like you have to take care of your city, I have to take care of mine. I have a responsibility. I can't turn away from it."
"But what about us?" She asked, walking to him.
"I think you know the answer Buffy." She nodded with tears. "You'll always have a place in my heart Buffy. Sometimes it's just not enough though."
"I know. I can't leave, and I guess you can't either. You're the slayer of LA Angel."
"Something like that." He walked them to the door, as far as he could go. He waved them off from the door way. He went to the fridge and pulled out a pint of chocolate and peanut butter ice cream and two spoons. he walked up stairs to nurse his love back to health.
"What's with the sweets Angel?"
"Nothing makes you feel better like ice cream." He opened the door and sat next to Cordelia on his bed. "Chocolate peanut butter ice cream?"
"Yes please." She answered and moved close to Angel, one of his arms wrapping around her. He turned on the tv and found a movie to watch. She layed her head on his chest and he kissed her hair. Who knows. Maybe there was hope for them yet.

End.

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