Disclaimer: This is a work of love and done for fun, not profit. BtVS and AtS are properties of the god also known as Joss. I'm poor, don't sue me.
Distribution: If you already have my stuff, take it. Otherwise please ask.
Feedback: YES PLEASE!
Category: W/A/Fr, oh and a nasty surprise too! Mentions of C/A, B/A and W/T and Fr/G
Rating: R for now. It will be NC-17.
Spoilers: Up to and including anything this season. If you don't want to get spoiled as to things which have occurred this season, you don't want to read this. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!
Summary: A family crisis involving Fred causes Angel to reach out for help. Help comes in the form of a sad redheaded ex-witch. Unbelievably, the combination of a souled vampire, ex-witch and a Fred, produces something they never expected. Magic.
Author's Note: Just letting you guys know that this will probably be the last fic I post on all the lists. I recently realized that I'm a member of over thirty and its just getting too hard to juggle which fics go where and where they don't. I have a list of my own and a website, and I think that they will become my my only posting grounds. I'm sorry if this inconveniences anyone, but I've got to do it. If you want to join my list, check the link in my signature. Thanks a lot everyone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 1~
Angel tapped the pen on the desk. He stared out into the dimly lit lounge. He sighed, resting his elbow on the desk and setting his chin upon his palm. It was late. Very late. Or perhaps very early, yet, he couldn't sleep. He couldn't even think of sleep, not when his mind was racing.
He couldn't believe it. After all they'd been through.
He sighed.
She was everything he ever wanted. She was brave, tough, strong, not to mention beautiful and funny. She was also his best friend, and he loved her.
'Cordelia', he sighed mentally. 'What a mess.'
She'd given up heaven for him. Having found out that he was at the bottom of the sea, Cordelia had laid down the law, told the Powers where they could stick their ascension, and returned to earth. After a nice 'heart to heart' with Justine, the misguided redhead had not only told the Seer where she and Connor had dumped Angel, but had told Connor the truth. It was she, not Angel, who had killed Holtz. What's more, she'd done so at his order. This had been Holtz' final act of revenge.
It had been six months since they'd fished him out of the sea, and in that time, he and Cordy had avoided the issue of this attraction they both seemed to be feeling. There were finally no obstacles, and suddenly that fact was scary for the both of them.
When he'd gotten up this morning, he'd been determined. Today would be the day he would kiss Cordelia. There would be no more avoiding, and no more delays. They loved each other. What could go wrong?
Angel tapped the pen on the desk, and shook his head. Sometimes he could be so naive. It was amazing really, considering his age. Of course things could go wrong. Things always went wrong. Who was he kidding? Especially concerning his love life-- sheesh.
So today after Gunn and Fred had left to get lunch, Angel had approached his Seer quietly from behind. She'd known he was there of course. She always seemed to.
"What are you doing Angel?", Cordelia had asked.
"What I should have done months ago", he'd replied taking her into his arms.
She'd melted against him, just like he'd dreamed she would so many times before, offering her mouth to him. And he'd kissed her. Their first honest to goodness kiss without ghosts or magic or any other extenuating circumstances.
And-- it was awful.
Angel blinked, and sighed again. He stopped tapping the pen and instead banged his head on the table a few times.
"What are you doin'?", Fred's soft voice called.
"Brooding", Angel answered honestly.
"It's the Cordy-you thing isn't it?"
"She told you?", he asked surprised.
"Nope, I guessed. But, I would've known anyhow", the pretty brunette said from where she stood on the stairs. She stood uncertainly, and yet so still. Angel wondered how she managed to do both. "When Gunn dropped me off from the diner you both looked shell-shocked."
"I guess you and Lorne were wrong huh?", Angel asked mildly.
"About kyerumption?-- Yeah I guess", Fred admitted softly, finally moving down the last steps and settling near Angel, resting her hip on the desk where he sat. "But we weren't wrong about the love", she continued. "You two love each other, even though you aren't IN love with each other."
Angel smiled slightly. "I do... love her I mean. Just not-- just not the way I thought I did."
"It can be hard to know sometimes", Fred observed.
"Especially since, I've never had a real friendship like this before", Angel told her.
"Really?"
The souled vampire exhaled. "Yeah. I haven't, not really. The Sunnydale group were all Buffy's friends. I was there because of her, not because of me. Cordelia and Buffy never got along. Cordelia and I didn't get along. Now years later, I can honestly say Cordy's my best friend and that I guess I mistook one kind of love for something else."
"Its an honest mistake", Fred said softly, placing a hand on Angel's shoulder. She blinked, and the vampire finally noticed the slight woman's red-rimmed eyes.
"Fred", he said suddenly, "why are you up this late?"
"Couldn't sleep. My coughing woke me up."
"Your coughing?" Angel frowned, and felt her forehead with the back of his hand. "You have a bit of a fever. I think you're getting sick. Come on. I'm putting you to bed. I'll get you some aspirin and orange juice."
"'Kay", she mumbled agreeably, just as another set of coughs racked her body.
~Part: 2~ ~The following day~
Cordelia called in, leaving a message on the office machine. She was taking time off. Angel listened in silence. He had no right to object, and after what happened he couldn't blame her for wanting time to herself. She also left the details of a particularly vivid and nasty vision. A demon harvesting human body parts for trophy's.
Angel had no luck finding Gunn. When Gunn was still involved with his old group of amateur hunters his disappearing for days on end on occasion had become accepted. He hadn't done it in a long time, but today the handsome black man was a no show, and Angel had a problem. Fred was sick. Really sick.
According to Cordy's vision, he had to be out tracking the demon before it killed again sometime in the wee hours of the morning, and he needed some kind of potion to defeat it. However, if he couldn't find Gunn, Cordelia had taken days off to go God-knows-where, Wesley was-- Angel's thoughts shied away from that one; who was going to stay and take care of Fred? He didn't want to leave her alone. The Powers only knew how long he would be gone. What if she needed something? What if she got worse? He sighed dispiritedly. Even Lorne was gone; singing and dancing his heart out in Vegas somewhere.
Desperate, the vampire did the only thing he could think of. He called Buffy.
~~~~~~~~
Buffy had almost laughed at first. Did Angel actually expect her to drop her responsibilities to nurse his sick friend back to health? She didn't laugh, however, because she knew how it felt. She had Dawn's welfare to take care of and she had her Slaying. All of it added up to a lot of responsibility and hardly any time to fit it all in.
"Maybe Willow will be up to helping you...", she told him. "I will ask her."
"Thank you Buffy. This means a lot."
The Slayer hung up, and examined what she was feeling. Glad, to have talked to him. Tired, from work and training... But she wasn't sad, or depressed. Perhaps she really had finally gotten over Angel? It was a possibility. Buffy wondered whether that fact should make her happy, or sad.
"Wills", she called out.
Hearing a noise in the kitchen, the petite blond entered to find her best friend with her head in the fridge.
"Wills, what are you doing?"
"Trying to find something to eat, I'm so hungry. The exercises Giles is having me do are so draining."
Buffy frowned. "Wills there's something kind of awkward I want to ask you..."
The redhead straightened up, clutching a piece of a brownie in her hand like treasure. "What?"
"... And I want you to keep in mind, you can totally say no."
"Shoot", Willow said, stuffing a piece of chocolatey goodness into her mouth.
"Well, you see its like this. Angel and his friend Fred need help..."
Forty-five minutes later, with enough clothes in the car she'd borrowed from her perennially missing parents for a week, and a set of driving directions printed up from MapQuest.com, Willow was on her way to L.A.
~~~~~~~~
She found the Hyperion Hotel again easy enough. Considering it practically took up an L.A. city block, it was kind of hard to miss.
Parking on the street and grabbing her bag from the trunk, Willow looked up at the art deco facade of a place whose grandeur had faded only slightly with time, she felt something whisper through her. Something big was going to happen here. Something important that could change her life forever.
Shaking her head ruefully at the fancifulness of her thoughts, the redhead opened the gate and trudged through the small courtyard. Reaching the large glass and wood doors, she set down her bag and knocked loudly.
Angel opened the door an instant later, careful to stay in the shadows, safe from the sun's deadly glare.
"Thank God", he groaned, running a large hand through already rumpled locks.
Willow looked at the vampire askance.
"Willow, you have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you so much."
The young woman nodded hesitantly, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ears. "Your welcome. I-- uh..." She looked at her bag and then back at the very rumpled vampire. Angel looked tired, almost haggard. He was wearing a thin white tee shirt and dark sweat pants; both of which looked like they'd seen better days. Almost threadbare, the clothing clung to the well-formed male lovingly, and Willow was surprised to feel her tummy contract.
Swallowing, she tripped on her words, shocked by that small tinge of attraction. Sure she'd crushed on Angel back in high school, but who hadn't? He was the epitome of tall, dark, handsome, not to mention mysterious.
Finally finding her voice she managed to say something half-way intelligent. "How's our patient?"
Angel shook his head tiredly. "Well, a medical contact of mine was pretty damned sure its a bad case of the human flu. He can't really do anything to help because he's a demon doctor."
He sighed. "And I couldn't take her to the hospital because of the sunlight. She wasn't this bad last night, if I'd only known--"
"Don't blame yourself. These things are unpredictable. Besides, unless she doesn't get better in a few days time, the flu will just run its normal course and she'll be fine."
"I hope so, I'll never forgive myself if something happens to Fred", he stated. "Plus, Gunn will kill me", he murmured under his breath.
"So uh, she means a lot to you?"
"Yeah, Fred's great. Funny, eccentric, thoughtful, smart. She's a great friend." Angel glanced at the petite redhead and picked up her bag, and moving towards the stairs. "Don't you remember? You met her that time...."
His voice trailed off.
Willow's voice sounded strained as she remembered the unbelievable pain from her last visit. Having to tell Angel Buffy was dead, had been awful.
She nodded, watching her feet as they trudged slowly up the steps. "Yeah, I remember, vaguely I guess. I was sort of preoccupied at the time."
"Right. Well..."
~Part: 3~
All conversation stopped and soon enough Willow found herself staring at a large bed with a small, sick woman.
Fred was slick with sweat, her mouth open. Her breathing hitched every so often and she murmured. She twisted and turned on the bed, kicking off the light covers Angel had thrown over her.
"Oh", Willow started. "She looks so uncomfortable."
Angel looked guiltily at the ill brunette. "I tried, I really did, but I didn't know what to do."
The redhead nodded and instantly took charge.
"We're going to start by making her comfortable. We need to get her fever down and we need to get her cleaned up." Determined green eyes met dark brown. "Where's the nearest bathroom?"
"Each room has its own."
"Start a bath for her. Make sure its lukewarm. I don't want to burn her, but with a fever like that, any cooler and she'll feel like she's freezing."
Angel nodded, moving unquestioningly to do as he was bid.
Willow turned back towards the slight woman. 'Now she only had to get her undressed.'
After about ten minutes of finagling, the wiccan had finally managed to get Fred unclothed. Sweating with the effort, Willow blew a stray strand of hair out of her face and turned, only to find Angel in the doorway, his eyes glued to Fred's form.
The hacker rolled her eyes. "Angel!", she snapped.
"Sorry", he grumbled, eyes sliding reluctantly away from the sick woman. "She's just so fragile looking. I guess I never noticed."
"Doesn't hurt that she's also really pretty though, does it?", Willow asked, unable to stop the sarcastic comment from tumbling out.
The vampire frowned. "Its not like that. She's my friend. And besides, Fred has a boyfriend."
"She does." The comment sounded strange to the vampire. He glanced at the attractive hacker again.
Taking a deep breath, Willow asked Angel to pick Fred up and place her in the bath.
He did so carefully, cradling the sleeping woman's head so that it wouldn't strike the old, clawfoot porcelain tub's edge.
The dark vampire backed away slowly. "I uh.. I'll leave you to it then. I'm going to get dressed. I have to get that potion I'll need tonight."
"Okay", Willow said in agreement. "Just give me twenty minutes to get her clean, and then I'll need you to bring her back into the other room."
Nodding, Angel slipped out quietly, closing the bathroom door behind him.
The redhead sighed and picked up a washcloth, the vampire had thoughtfully placed on the towel rack. Moistening it and rubbing it against a fragrant bar of soap, Willow began the task of cleaning and cooling off Fred.
Slightly uncomfortable at the intimacy of the situation, the hacker began to babble, telling the feverish, sleeping brunette about herself.
"Don't know if you remember me. But I'm a friend of Angel's too-- sort of." Willow frowned, pausing as she passed the cloth across Fred's delicate collar bone. "Well, I hope I'm his friend. Although I guess its safer to say I'm friends with his ex-girlfriend. Her name's Buffy. She's the Slayer. I guess you remember...", her voice trailed off.
She gathered her thoughts passing the cloth in a strictly business-like manner over the sick woman's breasts and stomach.
"I remember", Fred murmured sleepily, her brown eyes flickering open. She took in the startled, familiar looking woman leaning over her. Her quick brain processed the situation immediately. "I'm sicker than I thought, huh?"
Willow nodded, taking in the slight southern accent which tinged Fred's words. "Yeah, but Angel and I are going to take care of you."
"Oh, okay", the physicist said quietly.
The witch resumed her task, scrubbing the slender woman's long arms.
"I had the strangest dream", Fred said suddenly.
"Tell me about it", Willow prompted.
"I dreamt that Charles went away."
"Charles?"
"My boyfriend. He works her too. Gunn."
A vague memory of a tall, muscular black man appeared in the witch's mind.
Willow responded quickly and without conscious thought. "He'd have to be stupid to leave you Fred. You're beautiful."
A slight smile touched the older woman's face. "Thanks. It was just a dream. That's all it was."
Willow resisted the urge to smack her wet, soapy hand against her forehead. She couldn't believe she'd said that. She barely knew the woman, and in this strange, intimate situation they found themselves in, she certainly didn't want to make Fred uncomfortable.
"Not that I was, you know, looking or anything", Willow amended her earlier statement. "Its just, you know, a fact."
"Its okay.... I'm so tired", Fred sighed. "Everything aches."
"I'll have to get some over the counter stuff medicine in you to get rid of that." She paused. "Uh, Fred..."
Large, doe eyes opened reluctantly. "Yeah."
"Could you, clean the rest..."
"Oh, oh yeah. Thanks", Fred said, blinking owlishly. She took the washcloth from Willow's hand. The redhead turned her head to give her some privacy.
"All done."
Willow turned back. "Do you think you could get up?"
"I'll try."
Fred, braced her arms on the side of the tub and tried to stand. She was shaky, her legs shivering like a newly foaled horse.
Moving quickly, Willow released the plug. The bathwater ran down the drain. Replacing it, the witch turned on the water faucets yet again, and adjusted the water.
Lukewarm water again filled the tub.
"Now you can rinse in clean water."
Gingerly, Fred sat back down in the tub. "That feels heavenly."
"Good", Willow commented. "You had a fever and I hoped this would help."
"Thank you... I really want to sleep some more", the slender physicist told her matter of factly.
"Go ahead, Angel will help me with you."
Yawning, Fred closed her eyes. A gentle knock sounded on the door.
"Come in Angel."
The dark vampire opened the bathroom door. "How's she doing?"
"Better I think", Willow said. "She even woke up a little and talked to me. She said she remembered me kind of. Also told me she'd had a strange dream."
"What kind of dream?"
Willow debated whether to tell the souled vampire. Perhaps it was too personal?
She shook her head. "Its not important. Can you pick her up please. I want to dry her off and get her back into bed."
"No problem."
The witch grabbed a large, fluffy yellow towel. "Did you find what you needed?"
Angel said yes. "I called a shop in Chinatown. They have the potion I need to fight the demon in storage. I'm going to head over there and then to the location Cordy told me about."
"Are you going to be able to handle this alone?", she asked, beginning to gently dry Fred.
"I'll be fine", he said automatically.
Angel glanced down where Willow was currently kneeling by Fred's slim legs pressing the yellow towel to her moist skin. It occurred to him suddenly, just how sensual this scene could be. He behind Fred's lithe body, holding her up, as another beautiful women knelt at their feet.
He blinked. Beautiful? When had he begun to think of Willow Rosenberg as beautiful? He glanced at the lowered ruby-hued head. She was lovely. He'd never really noticed that before.
Willow stood. "All done. Lay her down on the bed for me."
Nodding quickly, the vampire did as he was told and turned around, backing out of the room. He needed to get out of there. It would never do for either Willow or Fred to spot the state of his body. His arousal was sudden and surprising and he was completely ashamed of himself.
"I have to go."
Willow turned to the door, but Angel was already gone. She shook her head. "Weird", she murmured under her breath, and then began the process of finding the brunette something comfortable to wear.
~Part: 4~
In another part of L.A., another brunette was staring at her ceiling. She'd called in to work today. She couldn't face Angel.
Cordelia sighed, and shifted, her bare skin kept warm by the covers she'd drawn up to her neck. She'd planned on taking a few days off anyway, after that disaster of a kiss. But now.... She glanced over at the sleeping man next to her..
But now, she really couldn't show her face.
How had this happened?
Angel had kissed her, that's how.
She'd managed to keep a calm demeanor in the office with him afterwards. They discussed the fact at length. They were attracted to each other, they loved each other, but there was no chemistry. Maybe they weren't IN love with each other.
The minute she'd gotten out of the Hyperion, the tears had come. Wiping them away blindly, she stumbled to her jeep and driven off with a start and the smell of burning rubber.
The realization that she was going to be alone forever, hit Cordelia like a well aimed 2x4, and she'd decided to drown her troubles.
And now this...
Cordelia looked back over at the man in bed with her. She was surprised to find that he was awake. Dark eyes searched her face.
Tears itched behind the brunette's eyes suddenly, and a great choking sob broke from her throat.
"How did this happen?", she cried. "How could we be so stupid?"
Shame rushed through him, at the Seer's pain-filled voice.
"I don't know Cordy." So saying, Gunn hugged the crying woman, hoping to lend her some measure of comfort.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The night passed with relative ease. Willow had fallen asleep in her chair by Fred's bedside. The ill woman had slept soundly, the worst of her fever gone.
When the redhead awoke, she found herself in a strange bed. The bag she had packed was placed neatly on a side table, and the former witch realized that Angel must've have come in from his hunt and found her dead to the world. He'd probably carried her here and sat with Fred for the rest of the night.
She yawned and stretched.
Forcing herself from the comfort of the bed, Willow started a bit at finding herself clad only in her long sleeved hunter green tee and her pretty, if boring pink cotton bikini panties. She flushed a little.
'Angel had to have taken her jeans off so she'd be more comfortable.' The thought was vaguely disturbing in some way. Sighing, she got out of bed and walked to her bag. Finding a change of clothes, new undies and her toothbrush, she decided to get cleaned up and then wander around until she found something she could eat.
After about an forty-five minutes, the hacker found herself downstairs. She looked around the high-ceilinged lobby. She resisted the urge to be nosy, savoring the quiet. Still, she acknowledged to herself, the place was rather spooky. It was easy to see the old hotel trappings in this part of the building, and she imagined that at one time it had probably been a place bustling with life. People checking in, people going out.... When she'd been here the last time, she'd been alone for hours, unaware that Angel and his crew hadn't even been on this plane of existence. She'd stared at the place then too, but it had been unseeingly. All that she'd been able to see then was Buffy flinging herself off of Glory's tower. It was a strangely beautiful memory, that deadly swan dive, but the pain of that image still took her breath away.
Closing her eyes, the former witch took a deep breath. Opening them after a centering moment, she continued through the room. There had to be a kitchen around her somewhere.
"Hey Willow."
Gasping, Willow found Angel in a doorway she hadn't noticed before. He carried an antique looking silver tray.
"Hi", she replied unsure what to say. When she'd arrived the day before she'd gone straight in to meet and help Fred, she hadn't really talked to the souled vampire. They didn't really have a lot to say to one another, never having been the best of friends.
"I was looking for something to eat", the slender young woman told him.
"I was bringing up some food for Fred. Soup and uhhh.... orange juice", Angel's voice sounded as unsure as she felt. "There's some eggs and other stuff in the fridge. I could come back down and make you an omelet?"
The hacker smiled. "Don't worry about me, I'll find something for myself. You just take care of Fred, I'll be up in a little bit to help."
Nodding, the souled vampire continued on his way, and Willow frowned when she spotted the large wrapping on his forearm. Angel must have gotten hurt last night. Making a note to herself to check him for wounds, she stepped into the kitchen and blinked. It was huge. "Whoa..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fred wasn't in bed when Angel returned. His confusion and sudden stab of fear turned into bashful ruefulness when he heard the toilet flush and the sound of the sink being turned on.
He set the tray on the sidetable, making room amongst the different bottles of cough and fever suppressant.
There was a cough behind him, and the vampire turned, finding Fred dazedly leaning against the doorjamb, her eyes still bright with sickness.
"How are you feeling?"
"Feel kind of groggy", she replied. "Had to use the bathroom though."
He nodded.
"Where's Willow?", Fred asked. She blinked, and started to slowly shuffle towards the bed. "I didn't imagine her did I?"
"No, you didn't imagine her. I ran into her downstairs she was getting breakfast."
"Oh."
The physicist cleared her throat. "Angel?"
He looked up at his friend questioningly.
She was standing unsteadily in the middle of the room. He was suddenly aware that her strength had left her.
Fred started to crumple, but Angel was there, easily supporting her slight weight and helping her back into bed.
"I feel like a newborn calf... its weird being so unsteady, feeling so weak."
He smiled. He never thought of Fred as weak. She'd been through things which would have reduced anyone else to mindless zombies. She understood loneliness the way he did. Sometimes talking to yourself was the only way to endure the silence, the boredom. At least then you had your own babble to pay attention to.
'Hmmm... come to think of it Willow babbled too, or at least he seemed to remember that she used to. This meeting of Babbler's Anonymous will now come to order....', the thought brought a smirk to his face.
"I guess we'll have to work on keeping your strength up. I brought you some soup and some juice."
"Great", the brunette said with a small smile. "Lets see if I can keep a bit of it down this time." She coughed, and gestured for him to give her the bowl.
Fred was spooning some of the soup slowly into her mouth, when Willow walked in. Both women looked at each other a bit shyly.
"Hi", spilled fourth from both their lips.
They smiled at each other.
Pushing some errant whisps of red hair out of her face, Willow asked, "how are you feeling?"
"Kinda better", Fred answered, sipping the soup slowly from the oversized spoon Angel had brought her. "Still not a hundred percent though."
Taking a few more spoonfuls, Fred suddenly sighed and placed the bowl back on the tray with a bit of a clatter. She leaned against the pillows. "Still tired, like I've just run miles and miles..."
Angel tenderly pushed some of her hair out of her face. Fred looked like she was falling back to sleep.
The dark haired vampire looked at the the former witch. "Thank you."
Willow blushed. "For what?"
"For taking care of Fred last night."
"It was no problem. I like her. She woke up a few times and we talked a bit. She's brilliant. Thinks the world of you too", Willow told him.
Angel looked away.
Changing the subject, Willow asked him a question. "Where's Cordy and that Gunn guy, and come to think of it, where's Wesley?"
Angel answered the easy questions first. "Cordy's still got time off. Gunn's disappeared off the face of the planet, and is completely ignoring my pages, and Wesley.... Wesley-- "
He looked at her, dark eyes appearing almost pleading. "Willow, I know we were never close. I know that I never really made an effort to get to know you, and you have no idea how many times I've regretted that..."
"Oh no Angel, I mean, I understand. There was just that huge Buffy shaped thing. I always understood."
"And I appreciate that", Angel said, "but it doesn't excuse my behavior. I didn't even thank you when you re-cursed me."
"I didn't do it so you would thank me Angel", the former witch said tightly, uncomfortable discussing the subject of magic.
"I know. You're just that kind of wonderful, unassuming person. A person I should have gotten to know."
Green eyes stared at the floor. So much had changed. She wasn't the wonderful, unassuming person he remembered anymore. She was a killer. She was attracted to darkness.
"I want to start over Willow. I want us to be friends. Is that okay?"
The redhead nodded slowly, raising her eyes back up to the vampire's handsome features.
"That's definitely okay cause I'd like that too."
Angel's face seemed to loosen, unwind. She hadn't realized he'd been so tense.
"So are you going to tell me what happened to Wesley now?"
The souled vampire chuckled, although his eyes seemed to darken further with some phantom pain she didn't understand.
"Take a seat", he told her, indicating the other chair in Fred's room. "I'll give you an update on what's been going on." He then met the hacker's gaze, as if to say, 'and then its your turn'. Willow sighed, her own thoughts about the past months wrapped in pain and guilt, but nodded slightly in silent agreement.
~Part: 5~
Angel began hesitantly, unsure how the news that he'd gone on a rampage, alienated his friends, somehow managed to impregnate his resurrected Sire, and now had a fully grown son, would sit with his former girlfriend's best friend.
Yet, Willow sat there unflinchingly, offering only the occasional comment or question. She sighed sadly when he told her about Wesley, and asked the vampire whether he'd ever considered his own mistakes when casting the ex-Watcher out. The question was one Angel had avoided. He knew he hadn't been fair, but it was hard to think logically and unemotionally when you were discussing the fate of one's child.
The redhead nodded, she knew all too well how the heart and feelings clouded matters.
She gasped when he told her about what Connor had done to him, and about the time he'd spent trapped beneath the sea, slowly starving and going mad, until Wolfram and Hart scooped him up and exchanged one form of torture for another. At least, until his friends had located and rescued him. Cordelia had starred in most of his account, and Angel had the feeling that Willow was gleaning a lot more than just what he was telling her about what had happened in the recent past, but also what he was omitting.
The vampire watched her as his account came to an end. He saw no recrimination or disgust in her eyes and breathed an unnecessary sigh in relief.
She fidgeted in her chair for a second, before standing up suddenly. He had noticed her discomfort when he'd mentioned turning to the dark arts to find his son, and wondered whether that would be at the root of what she was going to tell him.
"My turn, huh?"
Willow paced the room, once, twice, three times, before stopping and looking over her shoulder. Her verdant eyes were dull.
His brow furrowed worriedly when she took a detour into Fred's bathroom.
Moments later, the hacker re-entered the room holding a small white box with a red cross on the lid. She placed the box at the foot of Fred's bed and stood next to Angel.
"Let me look at your wound." It was a statement, not a question.
Silently, Angel offered Willow his arm. Carefully peeling the bandage from his bicep, the redhead grabbed some cotton balls and disinfectant and began to carefully clean and dress his already healing cut.
She spoke as she worked, seemingly needing the distraction in order to tell him what had happened and changed in Sunnydale since she'd brought Buffy back from the dead.
She told him about she told him about Tara, how they met, how they had become friends first and then lovers. Then, she told him about the problems she had had with her lover stemming from her growing dependence on magic, and how her actions drove the other witch away.
Angel listened quietly, finding himself extremely aware of her proximity.
The hacker applied a fresh bandage. She didn't move from his side, and the souled vampire looked up. Her face looked frozen, her eyes staring unwaveringly at a spot on the wall. And then, woodenly, she told him about her reconciliation with Tara. Willow's face was transformed with happiness at these memories of her beautiful idyll with the woman she'd loved. At least, until the tears began. They traveled across her pale, pearlescent skin as she told him of Tara's death, the stray bullet cutting short a life so pure and promising, that Angel's own throat closed up.
He took her lank hand in his own, squeezing it to remind her she wasn't alone. Willow smiled slightly through her tears, and then pulled her hand away. She told him how she had turned back to the dark magics in her pain and anger. She told him about battling her own friends, so that she could kill those she felt were responsible for Tara's death. She told him about Warren, and how she'd strung him up and made him feel the unimaginable agony of a bullet's progress if it was slowed to a fraction of its true speed. And she told him how she'd finished him, skinning him alive in front of her friends before deciding to hunt down his cronies despite the fact that they had already been jailed before Tara's murder. She told him how after that had failed, she'd gone up against Giles himself, almost killing him before turning her sights on ending the world.
To Willow's shock Angel didn't even blink at her disclosures.
"So what stopped you?", he asked finally. "I take it it wasn't Buffy."
She shook her head. "No it wasn't Buffy. It was Xander."
Angel schooled his features not to betray his surprise. "How did he stop you?"
"By offering himself to me. If I wanted to end the world, he told me he wanted it to end by my side. He told me he loved me and would always be my friend. If we died, he wanted it to be together.... Goddess, he made me so mad", she recalled. "So I hurt him over and over for trying to bring an emotion other than hate and anger into what I was doing. But he just took whatever I dished out. In the end, I was the one who broke."
Angel marveled at this revelation. What Xander had done had to be both the bravest and stupidest thing he'd ever heard.
"I think my estimation of Xander Harris just went up a few notches", the Warrior for the Powers That Be said quietly, interrupting the rather uncomfortable silence that had pervaded since Willow had told her tale.
He could hear the redhead's breath catch at his rueful confession.
"Not that you can ever tell him I said that", Angel continued.
Willow just stared at him disbelievingly, her mouth dropping open as a small, almost hysterical giggle escaped her lips. She slapped her hand over her mouth in horror. This wasn't funny.
The vampire's soulful eyes regarded her with gentle warmth.
"Inside everyone resides the capacity for evil Willow."
"I know that... now", she said quietly. "I just never thought I would be the big bad that my friends would have to thwart, or that I could actually kill someone and --", Willow shuddered unable to finish her thought.
"-- And enjoy it?", Angel asked, finishing for her.
She nodded silently, green eyes trained on him. Her voice was soft and hesitant when she finally spoke again. "How do you do it? How do you live with yourself?" Horror filled her gaze when she realized what she'd said. "Oh Angel, I'm sorry--"
The dark vampire placed a finger over her lips, stilling the rush of words.
"Its okay Willow. I've done far worse than you..."
She shook her head. "No, Angelus--"
"--Is a part of me. Without him, I'd be nothing but a true corpse. He's always here Willow. My soul may give me a conscience, and some self control, but I live and deal with my dark side every day, every single minute of every day."
"How?"
"One day at a time. Every person helped, every life saved, my family, the possibility of some kind of redemption... All of that keeps me going." He sighed and met her curious gaze again. "I find reasons to continue on every day. There's so much good I can do." He took the redhead's hand gently. "And there's so much good YOU can do."
Willow nodded thoughtfully. Nothing he'd said had been all that astounding or different than the very things she had discussed with Giles in England, but it seemed somehow deeper, more meaningful. She knew the evil that lived within Angel. She'd seen it and been caught in its icy grip. He'd tried to kill her once, tortured Giles, killed Ms. Calendar. She was very aware of the self-hatred and depression he combated daily to function. She'd seen it back in Sunnydale in his reticent and broody ways. Even now, considering how different he seemed to her, his eyes still reflected that age old painful guilt. As a result, somehow his words touched her deeply.
Taking a deep breath, and conquering the urge to cry, she stepped up and gave the souled vampire a heartfelt hug. "Thank you Angel."
Angel hugged the reformed witch back, gratefully accepting the warmth and comfort the gesture offered his own cold and lonely existence. He noticed over Willow's shoulder that Fred was watching them, large brown eyes sad and pensive. It was obvious that she'd awakened and heard everything they'd said. She offered him a small, tight smile and then closed her eyes. He knew enough about the brilliant brunette to know that this would not affect her opinion of Willow in the slightest and was glad for it. For some strange reason, it was suddenly very important to him that they all be close friends.
~Part: 6~
Hours passed quickly after their confessionals. Conversation turned to lighter topics. The vampire and witch ending up in a lively discussion trying to one up one another on all the baddies they'd faced in the intervening years since Angel's leaving Sunnydale. Fred seemed to sleep through it all, her slender form on its side and a small, almost secretive smile on her lips.
"Ouch, evil lawyers", Willow joked, "okay you win. You win."
Angel laughed, a full-bodied throaty sound that woke up their patient unbeknownst to them.
Fred's voice piped up surprising them both. "Still, Lindsey was cute though..."
The reformed witch and the vampire looked at the grinning brunette. She looked much more rested than she had the last time she'd awoken.
"I can't believe you said that", Angel said in disbelief. "He was such a slime ball." He frowned at a sudden thought. "And anyway you never met him."
Fred rolled her eyes. "I didn't say he wasn't a slime ball, I said he was cute. And Cordy told me."
"Cordy told you that Lindsey was cute!" The outburst was punctuated by the a slight rumble deep from within the souled vampire's chest.
Fred looked at Willow and grinned cheekily.
Willow found herself giggling.
Fred sighed and snuggled into her bed. "So you guys have been bonding and stuff huh? I probably missed all kinds of great stories", she bemoaned her dark, velvety eyes meeting the redhead's meaningfully.
Angel continued grumbling and folded his hands over his chest. Willow was able to make out few words. "Cute... evil hand... singing... LAWYER... cute..."
The brunette giggled, and placed a hand on Angel's arm. "Not as cute as you, I'm sure."
The vampire had the grace to look chagrined. "You think so?", he asked earnestly. Grinning he preened playfully beneath the combined force of the women's gazes. "Well that's okay then...."
Willow shook her head. She couldn't believe how different Angel was sometimes. She turned to Fred.
"You missed a few stories, and my patching up your buddy here."
The physicist looked at Angel with worry. "You were hurt?"
Angel shook his head. "I'm fine. It was a scratch."
The hacker rolled her eyes. "Its a scratch NOW. I'm sure the fact that you got it last night and its still even visible is indicative that it was way more than a scratch when you got it."
Angel sunk in his chair looking vaguely guilty. He didn't say a word.
Realizing quickly that the souled vampire had just receded into his broody, he didn't deserve worry, pity or friends mentality, Willow turned to Fred. "You missed some stories, but you were pretty much in most of the ones Angel told me. I promise to tell you some of mine someday if you share some of yours."
"Deal!", the brunette said enthusiastically. Her face became thoughtful. "Oh... I'll tell you my favorite story", she stated. "Its all about how I was saved from slavery and certain doom in a hell dimension, by a brave but tragic hero."
"Fred--", Angel began, embarrassment licking at him.
The slender physicist ignored him and continued speaking.
"Fred?"
Finally getting a bit annoyed Willow turned to look at the vampire. "Do you mind Angel? I'm trying to hear this."
~~~~~~~~~
The trio settled into a comfortable relationship, as they watched over the former Pylean slave in the next few days. They talked and joked, caught up and got to know one another.
It was a nice experience for Willow who'd never really had a chance to get to know the mysterious souled vampire who'd held the key to her best friend's heart for so long, and who'd saved her own life once that she knew of, but probably many more times that she didn't. She was surprised to find that Angel wasn't the aloof, cool customer she'd always assumed. He could be awkward and he could be funny. Not ha ha funny, but the kind of dark, dry funny that made you think. Willow liked that. That they had similar tastes amazed her, enjoying much of the same poetry and writers.
Fred was just a charming and wonderful human being. She hadn't met anyone as genuinely nice and as amazingly strong since... well since Tara. Willow was truly impressed by this woman, who'd survived alone five years in a hell dimension where she'd been treated like chattel. Sometimes it became obvious that her time there had affected the slim brunette, and her eyes would take on a far away gleam, as her lips moved and words became strung together without any meaning Willow could discern. It only happened when Fred was very tired. The first time it had happened she'd looked over at Angel, her worry plain. He'd just shaken his head sadly. Something told her that everyone was used to Fred's occasional retreat into her own mind. Usually however, Fred was cheerful and so full of knowledge. It was nice to find someone she could talk to about things deeper than hair color, or the newest episode of Enterprise.
Still after three days without any sign of their co-workers, both Fred and Angel were becoming concerned about Gunn.
The physicist was becoming depressed, dark smudges beneath her lovely doe eyes.
"I'm sure he's fine Fred. I haven't heard anything about him being hurt out on the street", Angel would assure her. He'd gone out looking for his friend's missing boyfriend the night before, and hadn't heard a peep.
"I know", she'd whispered, "I feel like he's okay, its just that he's never not called me for so long. Something's happened I know it has. Something's changed."
Willow frowned, remembering the now much healthier woman's dream the first night she'd come to L.A. She sighed. She didn't know this Charles Gunn, but she was beginning to wonder if the dream hadn't somehow been prophetic.
~~~~~~~~~
The following day, Fred wrestled herself out of bed. She finally felt well enough to leave its warm embrace and was determined to get some work done in the office.
She got ready slowly, a bit annoyed to find her body a bit behind her mind. She felt fine, but still weak. Sighing she made her way down the stairs to find Willow sipping coffee in front of Cordelia's computer.
"Hey Wills."
The redhead smiled. "Hi Fred. You're up! Feeling better?"
"Thanks to you."
"Not thanks to me silly, thanks to your immune system."
The two women shared a smile.
"Where's Angel?", Fred asked.
"In the kitchen, making you breakfast. He tells me you have a major appetite."
The physicist's cheeks colored slightly. It was very becoming, Willow thought. She herself hadn't blushed in a very long time. It had been a rather annoying habit of her body's once. She doubted very much she had looked as pretty doing it.
"I do actually. Although I don't think I'm really ready for too much. I don't want to make myself sick."
Willow nodded. She was right of course. Fred hadn't eaten very much at all when she was ill; soups mostly. It wouldn't do for Fred to overdo it and end up with her head in a toilet bowl because of it.
The brunette headed to the kitchen, and a few minutes later, Angel emerged.
The vampire and the reformed witch smiled gently at one another.
"Fred's much better", he observed.
Willow's eyes slid away from Angel's face. "I know. I guess I should head home."
"You don't have to hurry off, do you?", Angel asked her, somehow unaccountably bothered by the thought of Willow leaving.
She shrugged. "Well no, but you guys don't need me now. I should get back to Sunnydale and uh, Buffy. She needs me."
"Yeah", he said reluctantly. "I suppose you're right." There was silence for a moment.
Willow inhaled and forced her eyes to meet his gaze, only to find him staring at her intently. He blinked.
"You could visit?", he began uncertainly.
Willow smiled. "Yeah, I could couldn't I?"
Abruptly, the door opened. Cordelia stood framed in the morning light. She took in the redhead's spot at her desk, and Angel nearby. Hazel eyes narrowed.
"Willow!", she exclaimed. "This is a surprise. What happened this time? Did Buffy break a nail?"
Willow coughed, the coffee she'd been sipping slipping down the wrong pipe at the Seer's biting words. The last time she'd been here Cordelia had seemed so different. Willow had truly believed her former high school nemesis had changed. Maybe she hadn't changed so very much after all.
The redhead leveled the taller woman with an ice cold green glare. Without comment, she turned to Angel. "I'm going to go pack. I'll leave today."
She stood from her seat and jogged lightly up the stairs and out of eyesight.
Angel was staring at Cordelia. "What the hell was that?", he bit out.
Cordelia blinked. She didn't really know. She shook her head and cleared her throat. "Would you believe I don't know?"
The dark vampire watched his Seer close the door behind her, and walk toward her workstation. He took her appearance in, noting that she'd changed her hair again. It was back to a darker hue, the strange blond streaks she'd worn before almost all gone. He approved. Cordelia was definitely not meant to be a blond. He folded arms, unhappy with her non-answer to his question. His nose twitched. She was wearing way too much perfume.
His brow furrowed, as the other aromas on her skin fought their way through the cloying cloud of expensive perfume. Soap, shampoo, detergent, perfume and--
"Cordelia!"
The two brunettes turned to find Fred walking towards them a welcoming grin on her features. She hugged the other woman, completely missing the strained look on Cordelia's face and the stiffening of her body.
"I was getting worried. I knew you needed time and all, but I had hoped you'd let me know how you were doing. How was your vacation? Did you go anywhere?" Everything Fred said, had come out in one of her habitual rush of words.
Cordelia was struck dumb; speechless. Angel's hand was on her arm. He was pulling her away from Fred and toward the office.
"I need to talk to Cordelia Fred."
Fred looked confused. "Oh, okay", she mumbled, grabbing a handful of her long mahogany mane and twirling it about her finger.
The Seer allowed Angel to subtly haul her into the office he'd reapropriated. She heard the door slam behind them, the blinds clicking against the glass forcefully.
Cordelia turned around to face Angel. She could still see Fred in the center of the lobby. She looked sad and lonely. Her heart clenched painfully, and she pulled her gaze away and forced herself to look at her best friend.
Angel looked livid, and disappointed. "How could you do this to Fred?!" He could smell Gunn all over her.
~Part: 7~
Willow's appearance in the lobby with her bag made Fred a little sad.
"Do you really have to go?", she asked softly.
The hacker nodded. "Yeah, I've got school and my friends to get back to."
Fred shifted awkwardly, finding herself staring at the redhead. She wanted to remember her. "I understand."
Putting down her bag, Willow gave the brunette a hug.
Separating after a long moment, the witch gave the other woman a small scrap of paper.
Fred looked at it questioningly.
"Its my cell phone number so we can keep in touch. Give it to Angel too would you?"
"Of course", Fred said quickly, "but aren't you going to wait for Angel so he can say good-bye?"
Willow looked over at the office where Cordelia and Angel were obviously having a rather heated argument. Resisting the urge to cast a spell and find out what they were arguing about, she shook her head.
"No, there's no telling how long they're going to be in there, and I don't want to interrupt."
Fred sighed, looking at her two angry friends. She didn't blame Willow one bit. Biting her lower lip a little, the brunette gave her newest friend another quick hug and admonished her to get home safely.
Smiling, Willow left the Hyperion. It had been nice, she decided. It had been nice to feel needed, it had been nice to make new friends, and it had been nice to spend some time away from Sunnydale and even Buffy and Xander. Dumping her bag into the trunk of her borrowed transportation, Willow climbed into the car and drove away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cordelia glared at the dark vampire. "Do you think I wanted this to happen?", she demanded angrily. "Do you think I would ever purposefully hurt Fred?"
"No", Angel stated, "but you have, and by the smell of it I take it there's a few days worth of Fred-hurting on you."
The Seer gasped, a flush of color creeping up her neck. Her bravado faded away. Tired and disgusted with herself, Cordelia sighed, and sat down heavily on the green leather couch.
"When I left on Monday and got into my car, what happened between us hit me a hard", she began listlessly. "All I could see were all my romantic failures, and a big yawning void of a future where I was going to be alone. " Dark eyes searched Angel's face. "I don't want to be alone Angel."
He stared at her, his face unreadable, but Cordelia could tell he was furious.
"So you take away Fred's boyfriend?", Angel asked incredulously. "What's the matter, couldn't stand to see somebody with a toy you couldn't have? Is this return of Queen C, the most hated bitch Sunnydale ever produced? Because I've got to tell you, I really didn't miss her."
A fresh flood of guilt and anger made the half-demon woman lunge to her feet. She strode towards her best friend. They were nose to nose.
"It wasn't like that!", she bit out before turning away and starting to pace.
"I went to a neighborhood bar that night and ordered a drink. The next thing I know, Gunn's sitting next to me. He saw me peal out of here when he dropped Fred off from lunch, and followed me. He saw that I was upset and wanted to know what was going on. I didn't want to talk about it. So after a while he just joined me and we just sat and drank."
Angel leaned against the door, arms folded over his chest and one leg bent casually.
"After a few hours I told him what happened and how I felt about it. I told him how you kissed me and how it was sooo...."
"Blah", Angel provided helpfully.
Cordelia nodded, still pacing.
"Gunn couldn't believe it. All that talk of kyerumption and whatnot had really done a number on him. After everything we'd been through to be together he couldn't believe that was how everything was going to end. He was advising me to fight for it, to give it another shot. It could have been some weird fluke he said", Cordelia told him.
"But I knew it wasn't. I remembered that thing with Wesley in high school too well."
Angel blinked, but tamped down the urge to interrupt her. He probably didn't want to know.
"I told him kissing you was like kissing my brother. If I had a brother that is. And then--"
"And then--", Angel prompted.
"And then I kissed him. I was drunk, I wanted to show him what I meant about no chemistry and the whole brotherly feeling, but there was a teensy little problem with that." She lapsed into sudden silence.
The souled vampire had a very good idea what that problem was.
Cordelia stopped pacing, her eyes dropped to the floor. "The problem was that kissing Gunn wasn't like kissing you or Wesley at all. It was like fireworks. Everything in me felt so alive and vital and we couldn't stop. The next thing I remember is waking up next to him. I guess we stumbled the three blocks to my house. We even left out cars at the bar."
"Shit Cordy", Angel muttered darkly, a large hand tearing haphazardly through his hair. "This is bad."
The brunette nodded, swallowing. "I know. I know."
"Fred--"
"No!", the Seer's voice cut him off. "You can't tell Fred. Gunn is going to do it. He's going to break up with her."
Angel shook his head in disbelief. "How can this be so easy for him. I thought he loved Fred."
"He does. We both do. But his love for Fred is safe and comfortable, and....", she trailed off.
"And what you two feel isn't", Angel finished.
"No. Its more. It burns." Watery hazel eyes met dark. "You have to understand."
Angel understood. He remembered Buffy and the fiery, passionate love they'd had. He remembered all too well how it had overwhelmed and devoured everything in its path. They'd been obsessed with the fire they ignited within one another, and in the end they'd both gotten burned.
"I do understand", he said simply, moving away from the door and touching Cordelia's cheek gently. "But that still doesn't make it right or okay."
He walked over to the door and looked over his shoulder. "Gunn has two days. If he doesn't tell Fred, I will." So saying Angel opened the door and walked out, slamming it behind him.
Alone, Cordelia put her face in her hands, and wept.