"Bloody hell, pet, Scully is hot.  I don't know why Mulder doesn't just shag
her instead of chasin' around after aliens.  Don't you think?"
Willow looked at Spike blankly.  "Um, yeah?"
"You know, I always had a thing for redheads ..." Spike sighed.  He turned
to her, and his face turned considering.
Willow's eyes widened.  "Uh-uh.  I am not running around in trenchcoats for
you.  No way, Spike."
He pouted.  "If you do I'll dress up in a suit ... and I'll give you
smoldering looks ... and, and I'll ring you on your cellphone!"
"I don't have a cellphone," she said smugly.
"I'll buy you a cellphone," he wheedled.
"One of those green ones?" she asked thoughtfully.
"No, it has to be a Nokia one like they use.  Pleeease, pet?"
"You don't think dressing up is a bit girly?" she teased.
"Not when I'm bein' all manly and Muldersome, Red.  And you'll be all hot
... and curvy ... and look at me with those big eyes ... and wear that
pretty little gold cross ..."
"I'm not Catholic," Willow squeaked, inching away from him as he leaned into
her.  *Or curvy ...*
"Pretend," he said hotly, running his eyes over her body.
"I want more than a cellphone," she said insistently.
He quirked a brow.  "What?"
She thought fast.  *If I'm going to give in I might as well get something
from it.*
"There's a book I've put aside at the Wiccan store.  And ... and some new
perfume."
"Done!" Spike said happily.  "I think Scully is the Fifth Avenue type, what
do you think?  Or Red Door?"
"Surprise me," Willow answered, shaking her head.  *What am I getting myself
into?*
"I'll sort it all out, and we'll do it Friday," Spike nodded.  "It'll be
unbelievable."
Willow watched him bounce out of the house, rushing to the mall before it
closed.  How on earth was she supposed to make excuses to her friends?  Tell
them she was Agent Scully for the evening and couldn't help them because she
had X files to work on?

~

The box arrived at her door on Thursday night.  Buffy answered the knock,
and excitedly brought the large cardboard carton in to Willow.
"Who's it from?  What is it?" she begged.
Willow put down her textbook and looked at the box, impressed by the size.
"I think it's from Spike," she told Buffy distractedly, finding a penknife
to open it.
"Spike?" Buffy said in disbelief.  "Wills, why is Spike buying you stuff?"
Willow sighed.  "I sort of promised to keep him entertained this weekend."
"How, exactly?"
"Uh ... I'm gonna play X Files with him?"
"The Playstation game?  Will, this is not a Playstation box.  Unless virtual
reality games are currently arriving in Sunnydale Mall boxes, you haven't
told me everything."
Willow flushed, and dropped her head into her hands.  Blindly, she told
Buffy.  "I'm dressing up as Agent Scully."
Buffy began to giggle.  "You're what?"
Willow lifted her head and glared at her best friend.  "You heard me."
Opening the box, she found a neatly wrapped, heavy package with a ribbon on
top.  Unwrapping it, she found the text she had asked for, and put it aside.
  Underneath was a perfume box.  He had decided on Red Door, and
surprisingly, he'd brought the set with the lotion, soap and talcum powder.
Impressed, she opened a small jewelry box to find a delicate gold cross.
"Spike is giving you perfume and jewelry?" Buffy asked in amazement.
"Spike is giving me a thank you - Scully flavored, according to him - and a
costume," Willow corrected.
In a bag inside the carton she found a deep, ocean-colored suit with a knee
length skirt, split up the back, and a nipped waist jacket.  Buffy sighed in
envy at the label, and her eyes widened at the shoes Willow pulled out.
"Willow, those are very expensive shoes," she informed her friend, shaking
her head.
"Obviously," Willow retorted, "that means Scully wears expensive shoes."
She drew out another bag with a fitting, designer white T-shirt.  Spike had
also included sheer stockings, a belted black mid-length trenchcoat, and -
"Underwear?" Buffy shrilled.  "He bought you underwear?"
"Push-up bra underwear," Willow elaborated faintly.  "In a distractingly
lovely shade of pale green."
"And is there anything more, Agent Slutty?"
Willow frowned at Buffy.  "Maybe he's just helping out with the curvy thing.
  He likes Scully's curves.  He wants me to look curvy."
Buffy's face was incredulous.  "Why do you need to be curvy?  What sort of X
file will you be investigating, anyhow?"
"I have no idea," Willow sighed.  "And I need to be curvy because that's
what he wants.  He wants me to pretend to be Catholic, too, you didn't
comment on that."
Buffy rolled her eyes.  "It's not quite the same sort of pretending.
Willow pulled out the last box.
"And this is?"
She showed Buffy.
"My new cellphone."
 

~Part: 2~

"Hello?"
"Pet!"
"Spike?"
"Red, are you gonna do this properly or what?"
"Oh.  Uh . 'Scully'."
"Scully, it's me."
"Mulder . where are you?"
"I'm on my way to your apartment.  Assistant Director Skinner - who has the
hots for you, I might add - asked us to investigate some murders in
Sunnydale, California.  Scully, I think it's . vampires."
"You're sure it's not aliens?"
"Scully, what kind of aliens suck the blood from hapless victims and leave
their desiccated corpses to either rot or rise again?"
"I don't know, Mulder, but I'm sure that there is a rational scientific
explanation for this."
"If there is, I'm sure you'll find it, Scully.  C'mon, I'm waiting outside."

~

Willow shut off her cell phone and shook her head.  Even his intonation was
like David Duchovny's, although Mulder had suddenly developed a British
accent.  Maybe she should have suggested he go attend an X Files convention
instead.
She ran out from the dorm building and looked for Spike or his car.  Not
finding it, she walked out into the car parks in front of the main entrance.
A horn beeped, and an engine started.  Turning around, she saw a dark blue
sedan.  Spotting a rental sticker on its window, she cautiously approached
the car.
Finally seeing that the man inside was dark-haired, she turned around again.
  The horn beeped again, sharper this time, and she whirled.  The passenger
door opened, and she stared into the blue eyes of Spike . with dark hair.
Her mouth dropped.
"C'mon, Scully, get those little legs moving," he said with a grin.
"S - Mulder?" she asked disbelievingly.
"Is it the new tie?" he asked back, looking down at the blue and gray object
in question.  He flicked it up consideringly, then turned back to her with a
shrug and another grin.
She got into the car, still stunned.
"M - Mulder, your hair.  Your suit."
Spike was wearing a charcoal suit with a crisp white shirt.  His hair was
dark and had been cut closer to his head.  He wasn't wearing his duster, but
had a black trenchcoat folded on the backseat.  His pocket bulged slightly
with presumably his cellphone, and his face had moved from a grin into a
serious expression.
"You look nice too, Scully."

~

As they pulled up to the eastern Sunnydale graveyard, Spike informed Willow
of the 'background details' of their 'case'.  Still stunned, she listened
silently.  Her mind was a hundred miles a minute, processing the fact that
he looked gorgeous.  Not that blonde hair didn't suit him, but dark ... dark
he was so ... human.  Attractive.  Attainable.
Which was a good thing, because like so many of her high school weekends,
she was spending at the cemetery.
It wasn't all miserable.  St. Peter's was one of Sunnydale's nicest, with
rolling lawns and well-kept rose bushes.  It was just that another night in
the graveyard - yawn.
Spike parked his rental and glanced at her.  She felt her heart do a little
skip at those blue blue eyes, so in contrast to his newly dark hair.
"Let's find ourselves some vampires, Scully."
Willow quickly discovered that graveyards and high heels didn't mix.  How
the hell did Buffy manage it in her short skirts and boots?
"Mulder," she complained.  "Why is it you never tell me to bring my
sneakers?  Or maybe hiking boots?"
"I thought you'd thank me for your workout," he protested.
As they moved out from the light of the street, he flicked on his
flashlight.
"We're looking for traces of disturbed graves, soil shifted from new plots,
maybe items of clothing even."
"Did it ever occur to you that normal people are out dating, enjoying the
company of other people who aren't dead?'
For a single, heated moment, she could have sworn that he was taking in her
naked body, preparing to devour her.  Her breath hissed out again as he
looked away, then back.
He gave her a quirky smile.  "You aren't having fun, Scully?"
She glared at him, walking on, swinging her torch over the plots.
Her light fell onto an empty plot, soil haphazardly piled around it.
"And you didn't believe," Spike said in satisfaction.
"We haven't looked at it yet, Mulder.  There are perfectly rational
explanations for a body being removed.  Quite aside from legal requests
necessitating an exhumation, medical schools are well known to occasionally
use less than above-board means of gaining cadavers for dissection."
Spike looked around the cemetery with interest.
"Did anybody else just get turned on?"
Willow stepped closer, shining her light into the grave.  As she leant to
examine some marks on the lid of the coffin, she realized that with the rain
during the week, the ground was quite slippery.
It was backing away in a hurry that did it.  One moment she was moving back,
the next she was falling head first with a muffled shriek.
"Will!" Spike cried desperately.
Willow, on her hands and knees, slowly turned so she was sitting in the
coffin.  She looked up, seeing that Spike had fallen to his knees on the
muddy ground above her.  The panicked look on his face was really quite
satisfactory, really.
"You are so unbelievably lucky that this coffin is empty, Mulder," she said
calmly, looking around her at the slimy, packed earth of the grave.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine.  Watch out for that mud, that's what I slipped on.  Now -"
"Don't move.  Are you hurt?  Of course you're hurt, you just fell six bloody
feet.  Try and get my hand so I can pull you up."  He reached down, his
large hand well above where she still sat.  "And - Shit!"
The force of a reasonable sized vampire landing on top of her both knocked
Willow back and the breath out of her lungs.
"Oof," she gasped into the sudden darkness.
"Bloody everlasting hell, pet."
 

~Part: 3~

Willow wriggled around, trying to get her flashlight back into her hand.
She heard Spike suck in a sharp breath.
"Stop hogging all the oxygen, Mulder."
"You're, uh, tickling me, Scully."
"I never realized you were ticklish.  Ah, there it is!"
"Ah there ... what is?"  His voice sounded strangled.
She switched on the flashlight, illuminating the silken interior of the
coffin.  She ran her fingers over the join beside her, prodding at it.  It
didn't move a bit.
Spike joined her, awkwardly thumping at the lid of the coffin.
"It's no use," she said finally.  "We're stuck.  In a coffin.  In a grave.
So much for vampires."
"I don't suppose you left a note where we were going?"
"There's only one answer, Mulder.  We're going to have to call Assistant
Director Skinner."
Willow wiggled again to get her hand to her cellphone.  Spike shifted
slightly against her, his body moving an inch further away.
Willow dialed one handed, then slid the phone up her body to her face.  With
two people in a box, there really wasn't a lot of room to move.
Spike continued to move, sort of down and away from her body, and he had the
strangest expression on his face ...
"Hi!  This is Buffy -"
"And Willow - "
"And we're not here right now, but we'll be back, as soon as we've saved the
world."
"Again!"
"So do the beep thing!"
Beep.
"Uh, Buff, it's me.  Um, I'm at St Peter's cemetery, it's about half past
nine.  And ... we're stuck in a coffin.  Agent Mulder and I.  It's an opened
grave by that tree that has the big white flowers in summer?  And the
sooner, the better, you know?  Uh, see ya!"
She ended the call and put her phone back in silence.
"Patrol," she offered weakly to Spike, offering an apologetic smile.
He smiled half-heartedly back.

~

Willow traced her other hand along the edge of the coffin.
"You know, this is intriguing ..."
Spike had a look of almost desperate concentration on his face, but his
expression changed as she spoke.  He looked at her as if she was insane.
"What?  Scully, we're stuck in an empty coffin, in a grave.  I don't think
there's anything intriguing about this."
"Mulder, that's my point.  Why is this coffin empty?  There must be an
explanation ..."  She prodded again at the lining.  It wasn't reeking of
decay or anything, or stained, just a little musty.
"You're so ... you're so rational, Scully.  Always looking for the answers."
"Aren't you?" she retorted.
"No.  No, I'm not.  I'm looking for the truth."
She gave him a supercilious look.
"The truth."
"Well, yeah."
Willow frowned slightly.  Agent Mulder was sounding a lot more like Spike.
And why was he so moody, anyway?  This had all been his idea.
It was going to be a boring time waiting for Buffy to finish patrolling.
She was probably walking around out there now, oblivious to the fact that
they were stuck in here.  And then she could go to the Bronze ... or Riley's
...
"Should I call more people, do you think?" she asked suddenly.
"Watcher's girl's in town this weekend," he replied, shrugging slightly.
"Xander and Anya will be, yeah, busy.  Skinner it is."
"My hero," he said dryly.

~ ~ ~

Willow frowned up at the coffin lid.
*It's just as well only one of us is breathing.  Come on, Buffy, don't let
your best friend perish in a coffin.*
Spike closed his eyes, concentrating on things like cricket and the bloody
boring reign of Victoria.
*God, I can smell her.  Good one, buy her perfume and then be trapped in a
coffin with her, surrounded by her scent.*
The silk of the lining was dull in the dim glow from her flashlight.  She
had counted all the quilted squares - diamonds from this angle, she supposed
- on the inside of the lid, and if something didn't happen soon, she was
probably going to ravish Spike from boredom.
*Oh, like you wouldn't ravish him when you weren't bored.*
His eyes were closed, and the way his lips were slightly parted gave him the
most beautiful look of innocence.
Willow sighed and her chest rose slightly as she drew a new breath.  The
touch of her taunted Spike, and his body was definitely reacting this time.
*Come on, Slutty.  If you don't get me out, I'll shag your best friend in a
coffin.  Oh god, don't think about shagging, she'll notice.  Um.  You know,
I'll have to bite her somehow if we're here any longer.  I wonder how long
we'd both last if I had to make her a vampire?  Imagine the two of us,
sitting here till the end of time ... not shagging ... shagging ...*
Willow twisted her head back from the ceiling to face Spike.
"Mulder, your flashlight is digging in to me."
She suddenly found herself staring into his blue eyes as another light
switched on above her head.  Arching her neck back, she saw his flashlight
... in his hand ... above her head.
He grinned sheepishly.
"Not my flashlight, Scully."

~

Willow gave him a surprised look, then an intent one.
"Mulder," she said, barely.
"Will," he replied, almost shyly.  His eyes were serious on hers.
"Spike."
She felt a blush spread over her face, and smiled at him nervously.
He bent in and gently kissed her, tasting her lips and mouth.
Willow moaned into his mouth as his tongue teased her lips.  He took the
opportunity to enter her mouth, and their tongues together produced so much
more sensation.
He shifted slightly atop her, and she realized why he'd been so withdrawn
and fidgety.
"Well," she murmured as he paused, giving her time to breathe.
"All your fault, minx," he muttered.  There wasn't the room to move his
hands a lot, so he contented himself with pressing closer to her, his chest
crushing against her breasts.
She sighed in pleasure, lifting against him.
"I've never done it a coffin before," he chuckled, teasing her lips with
baby kisses, then kissing her deeply until she was breathless again.
As Willow gasped, she traced small circles against the small of his back.
"We'd have to be quick.  Buffy could come along any minute."
He leant back from her a little, his face surprised.
"Willow!"
She gave him a wicked smile, and drew his face closer.
"She could discover us half naked and sweaty, and she'd be ever so cross.
You wouldn't have time to ..."  She sighed teasingly. " ... stake me before
she staked you."
"Well in that case," Spike said quickly, and got back to the more fun part
where he was kissing her.
 

~Part: 4~

Their hampered movement was made up for by the tension and the thrill of
possible discovery.  Spike managed to slide his hand up and undo the tight
little buttons of her jacket, while Willow busily retuned the favour.  His
shirt quickly followed, but he groaned as he slipped the edges of her jacket
apart.
"I would buy you a T shirt.  All I can do is roll it up, pet."
"Or ... you could use your fangs and rip it off me," she purred, stroking
her hands over his bare chest.  The considering expression on his face
turned savage as her hands drifted to his belt, running through the trail of
rough hair that began there.
"There's always that," he agreed, his eyes briefly closing as his face
changed.
He waited a brief moment, and she shot him a grin.
"Here be vampires."
Spike made short work of her T shirt, grabbing it between his fangs and
ripping the front in two.
"I was hopin' to see that again," he said, his face shifting back as he
admired her breasts in their ocean colored lace.
His pause was a little too long, and Willow grabbed his belt to draw him
against her, kissing him pointedly.
He got the message, his hands sliding to cover her breasts as he kissed her.
  She felt her nipples respond to his fingers, which teased over the lace
and then slipped inside to pluck the buds into hard peaks.
Willow moaned against his mouth at his touch, her hands fumbling briefly
with his belt.
"Boxers?" she asked in surprise.
"'Monday', luv," Spike said heavily.  He had pushed the lace down on her
bra, and squirmed down in the coffin to suck a nipple into his mouth.
"Ooo-oooh," she squeaked, startled.  The sensation went right through her,
her stomach dropping and the juices at her core becoming something of a
flood.  She forgot all about boxers, grabbing his head and clasping him to
her.
Spike alternated kissing and sucking each nipple, Willow's fingers twined
his hair.  His hands moved to her hips, pushing up her skirt with maddening
slowness.  Then he eased her stockings down, his hands brushing against her
but not offering any satisfaction.
She pressed up against him as she felt his hard thighs against her own, his
straining erection against her panties.  He ground back against her, his
body heavy on hers as he moved back up to kiss her mouth.
Willow slid her hands down from his head, slipping under his shirt and down
his back.  Her fingers delved under the waistband of his boxers, caressing
his ass as she dragged the cotton shorts down as far as she could.
Spike's thumbs brushed up her thighs, hooking into her wet panties and
pulling them down around her knees.  She wiggled to move them further, and
he gave a tortured half-laugh.
His laugh halted sharply as her hands closed around his hardness, circling
his thick cock and stroking him.
"Willow," he groaned, teeth clenched.
She gave him a warm laugh back, her fingers continuing to tease.
He growled and extracted his own revenge, his thumb stroking over her clit
and his index finger tracing the wet folds of her pussy.
She gave him a desperate whimper, and he slid a finger inside her slowly.
Willow wasn't sure if it was satisfying or prolonging her torture, but knew
that her hands on his cock were the same for him.
Her breathing grew faster as he played with her clit, the small bud swollen
and slick.  She caught her breath as Spike twisted knowingly, and guided him
to her core.
Willow had never felt anything as intimate as Spike heavy against her, his
long, thick cock finding the entrance of her pussy and pushing hard into her
warmth.
"Oh my," she whispered, with more and more of him inside her.  "Oh my."
"Christ you're tight.  And hot.  We should definitely do this more often."
Spike pulled almost free, then sunk deep inside her again.  Willow was too
breathless to comment this time, making only a high-pitched, wordless sound.
He groaned thickly as he thrust, one hand beneath her ass to hold her
against him.  His other hand cupped her breast, and he sucked her nipple
into his mouth again, lashing his tongue around it.
Her hands were on his back, one at his shoulder, one running down to cup his
ass.  She felt the muscles in his shoulders tense as he thrust, and knowing
how near she was, she shifted a hand to run her nails over his nipple.
He hissed, and moved his hand back to touch her clit.
Her hand on his back dug nails into his shoulder, her head falling back as
she responded to his touch.  He thrust to fill her one last time, the walls
of her pussy squeezing him as she came.
Spike shouted hoarsely as he buried himself within her, hearing her cry out
through a dim haze.  Her pussy milked his cock of his seed, and he collapsed
against her, blissfully spent.

~

Willow stroked his shoulder absentmindedly, not noticing his weight upon
her.  She was completely relaxed, and most probably satisfied for at least a
few minutes.
Spike lifted his head slightly, and gave her a faint smile.
"There's a lot to be said for coffins, luv."
"You're telling me," she smiled back.  She paused, recollecting something.
"Did you mean that?"
He frowned.  "Which part?  I remember saying you were hot - I meant that.
And wet ."
He leered at her, and she giggled.
"You also said we should do this more often," she reminded, slightly
hesitant.
"That I did.  I'm thinkin' maybe not the coffin every time, though.  I got a
nice tomb in my crypt, we could try that a time or two."
"The one with the skeleton?"
"Well, I could take it out.  But Henry'd like a nice girl like you, pet."
Willow made a face at him, and he chuckled.  His face grew serious again,
and he dropped a butterfly kiss on her mouth.
"I had to buy you a book, and a phone, and perfume, and dye my hair, and
wear boxers.  I wanted you that badly.  I will have you as often and as long
as you'll have me.  And I mean that."
Her eyes widened.  "You planned this?"
He grimaced.  "Well, I was working on chemistry, myself, sexual tension and
all.  I'd have had a heart attack when you fell in here, if it was still
beatin'.  But I'm not one to let an opportunity slip by."  Spike shrugged.
"Plus I like having you around."
She gave a small, happy sigh, and started buttoning his shirt back up.
 

~

The thump on the coffin lid was followed by a click, and the latch coming
free as the top was lifted.
Buffy gazed down at them, shovel in hand and bemused expression on her face.
"Agents," she greeted them, trying to keep from laughing.  "Were you chased
into this situation, or what?  Your clothes are a mess, not FBI standards at
all."
Willow shrugged.  "They chased us.  And we fell."
Spike nodded.  "Mm.  No more adventurin' for us, like."
"You're our hero," Willow proclaimed brightly.  Then she wrinkled her nose.
"But now - shower.  I have to get rid of Eau de Muddy Grave."
Spike's eyes narrowed briefly.  "Right.  Good idea."
Buffy watched the two move off, shaking her head.  She picked up her purse,
finally ready to head to Riley's for the night.
Suddenly she looked after them, walking stiffly towards a dark sedan by the
cemetery wall.
*They're not - he didn't mean .?*
She thought about it a moment.
*Nah.*

END

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