***
"Food," Spike was getting the inside information from Anya as to what always led to sex. He didn't know how the conversation had started, or even how it had gone from general chitchat to the best ways to get sex, but it had. Now, as they were strolling amongst the dying crowds of the small market in Sunnydale Park, Spike was beginning to wish he had never consented to walking her to Xander's.

"Food?" Spike didn't believe her. A gift of jewellery, pets and pretty clothes was his usual way of getting the leg over if sweet talk and physical touch didn't work. Now this ex-demon was telling him something completely different - blew all his ideologies about sex completely out of the water. "How's that then?"

"Think about it. Dates always include food of some type, from dinner to popcorn. Food is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world. Some foods more so than others." Anya stated, completely sure of herself.

"Yeah, like what?" Spike couldn't help it, he was curious. It had been just over a week since he'd claimed Willow in the library and they had shagged every single night since then - although much to Spike's disappointment they still hadn't made it into a bed. There was a part of him that wanted to take Willow in a bed, fall asleep with her and never let her out of his arms. Of course with his present living arrangements that just wasn't possible - especially since they'd agreed, after Willow put forward the suggestion, that they should keep their relationship a secret.

"Well if I want more than one orgasm I always give Xander foods rich in caffeine - tends to keep him awake and interested. You can never go wrong with chocolate," she paused for a moment, considering the relationship between food and sex. "I once gave him oysters - those are known aphrodisiacs - unfortunately it didn't work. He spent the whole evening in the toilet projectile vomiting, he said they reminded him too much of mucus."

"So you're saying chocolate will get you sex?" Spike couldn't believe that, it couldn't be that simple.

"With most humans, yes. Although you should vary the forms in which you give it - sometimes in bars, other times in fancy little individual flavoured chocolates and then there are cakes..." Spike tuned out of the conversation, he had gotten what he wanted. Food equalled sex...sex was good. Willow, in a moment of academic panic had declared that tonight she had to study, which meant no sex. So tonight would be an excellent time to test Anya's theory. Spike smirked as he thought of the possibilities of combining chocolate and sex; this food thing was definitely starting to show promise. "In fact, I should get Xander some cookies, look chocolate chip - his favourite with the added bonus of chocolate!"

Spike caught the last part of the conversation Anya had actually been having with herself. The plan sounded good though and he let his gaze fall on the brightly wrapped cookies in the small market stall.

"Hi, are these choc-chip? I want something that will make my boyfriend REALLY happy," Anya stressed the word really. The hippy dressed storekeeper smiled at the ex-demon before winking and pushing forward some cookies.

"These will definitely make him smile," he said nodding his head as he spoke. "They're special and good quality...if you know what I mean."

"Special?" Anya picked up the cellophane wrapped cookies; they were slightly larger than the others and were packed with choc-chips. Unfortunately the chocolate was the only ingredient she was concentrating on. "Special choc-chip cookies. How many packs have you got?"

"Uh? You'll only need one pack to get the...er...desired affect," the shopkeeper offered only to be shot down by a withering scowl. "Umm I've got 10 packs left, but lady you don't need that many. Trust me."

"We'll take them," said Spike whipping out his wallet. The shopkeeper looked at them both like they were crazy.

"You two must be planning a party," he muttered as he dropped the cookies into a large paper bag and handed it over. As they started to walk off Anya pulled out a packet and opened it up, tasting one of the cookies. She wrinkled her nose up.

"These are a bit dry," she bit off another piece and continued her monologue about sex and food, not really caring if Spike listened or not. Soon she had eaten the whole cookie and consumed another two in quick procession. "You know these are really nice - have one."

She held out the open pack to Spike who dubiously picked one up and chewed on it. She was right; although slightly dry they were quite nice. Within a few moments the packet was empty.

"You ate them all!" accused Anya.

"I bloody well did not - it was you!" Spike huffed.

"There were at least fifteen in that packet and I know I didn't have more than ten!" Anya poked him in the chest.

"Ten? TEN? That's over half," Spike shook his head and tried to brush away the finger that was still angrily poking at his chest. "Will you get off."

Anya reached into the paper bag and grabbed another packet of the cookies and poked her tongue out at Spike. "Well nyah! I'm going. You are just so horrible. If this is how you treat girls it's no wonder you don't get any sex."

With that she turned on her heel and walked off.

< Bloody women. Bloody hormonal women. Bloody HORNY women. Horny… horny, I’m horny. I’m horny and I have cookies, choc-chip at that and Willow is not very far away. >

"Willow," Spike sung with a small giggle as he pulled out another packet of cookies and started to walk towards the college.

By the time he reached her room he had one packet left - a gift for his precious Willow. Knocking lightly he opened the door to find Willow sitting at her desk, studying.

"Hello, love. Miss me?" Spike asked.

Willow hadn't even heard the knock and looked up in surprise at the sound of his voice. He looked almost comical with only his head, arm and shoulder poking through the door, his head was tilted and a soppy grin tainted his lips. Willow couldn't resist smiling at him. Suddenly a frown replaced her smile.

"Spike, what are you doing here?" she jumped up and pulled him into the room, he bounced slightly on his feet. "You shouldn't be on campus and I told you I wanted to study tonight. You shouldn't have come."

Spike pouted and held out the cookies. "Bought you a pressie, love."

Her frown dissolved into another bashful smile as she took the cookies from him. She looked down at the brightly coloured packet, lost in the thrill that he had bought her something. Then she heard a thud and looked up to see Spike sprawled across her bed, bouncing up and down.

"No!" she knew immediately what he was thinking. No matter how tempting the idea of having sex was, she had to study.

"But pet," he whined looking up at her waggling his eyebrows and smirking. "I've cum to see you."

He let his head fall back onto her pillows and giggled at his own pathetic joke. Willow baulked momentarily, she had never heard Spike giggle. Over the last few nights she had heard him laugh, but this was a definite giggle. He waved at her from the bed.

"Go do the books thing, then we can play," Spike said dropping his waving hand back onto his chest and running it along the material of his shirt. Willow shook her head, thankful that Buffy and Riley had a date tonight. It was dangerous for Spike to be on campus, especially in her room, but she liked the idea of him being there and his suggestion of playing later was more than appealing.

"You can stay...but no distracting me!" she turned back to her desk, opening the cookies so she could have one while she studied. Of course everyone knows that choc-chip cookies at the best of times are addictive, you can never stop at one, these cookies were even more so and within half an hour Willow had eaten the lot. Spike during that whole time had been humming a tune that Willow couldn't place and now, as she finished off the last cookie she turned to him. "I thought you weren't going to be a distraction?"

"Nah you said no distracting - I didn't agree to it." Spike said from the bed. He was horny and had decided some ten minutes earlier that if Willow was going to keep studying something other than his gorgeous self then he would just have to take advantage of himself. His hands had delved beneath the material of his shirt to rub over his chest and stomach, fingers pinching his nipples making them rock hard and sore. Sighing he thought that Willow did it so much better.

Willow was watching him through hooded eyes; she could imagine exactly what his hands were doing under the black t-shirt. She giggled.

"Watcha doin'?" she pushed herself off her chair and walked to the end of her bed, her hand reaching out to annoy his booted foot.

"Taking advantage of myself 'cause you won't," he flicked her hand away with his boot, grinning like a maniac.

Willow walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out the leather pants and a tight dark red long sleeve shirt, abandoning her other clothes, including underwear, she pulled the others on.

"Stay naked!" protested Spike from the bed. He had been enjoying the brief show and it was over way too soon for his tastes. He swung his legs off the bed and sat up to face her. "You know I want to tie you up and never let you go."

Willow straightened from pulling on her boots. "Really?"

He nodded, his eyes closed.

"That's so sweet!"

"Nah, it's evil."

"Okay, yeah, but...but...but it's sweet in a homicidal maniac, blood thirsty demon demolition way."

Spike considered it for a moment and groaned. "It is, isn't it?"

Willow giggled and held out her hand. "Come on let's go 'fore Buffy comes back and stakes your lily white ass."

"Where we going?" Spike took her hand as she led them out of the dorm.

"Don't know," Willow giggled.

Neither of them noticed how wobbly they walked nor how the walls suddenly had an urge to run into them, causing Spike to curse loudly and chastise the unruly behaviour of walls these days. Once free of the confines of the dorm they found themselves in the square in front of the library. It was a pretty little square with benches and a small water fountain. Spike jumped up onto the edge of the fountain, pretending to walk a tight rope. Willow cheered and applauded as he took his bow.

"Sing a song, sing a song," she demanded. Spike thought for a moment before offering her his hand and hauling her up onto the edge of the fountain, both of them giggling.

"A song, milady wants a song," he dropped his voice and edged in closer to her, resting his forehead against hers causing her to giggle madly. "Ever heard of the Carnal Carnival pet?"

Willow shook her head, her eyes wide with wonder. "Tell me."

Smiling he pulled his head back and held on to both her hands spreading them wide so he could appreciatively look her over. His gaze travelled slowly over her body, taking in every detail and leaving her burning. Slowly, softly he started to sing.

The carnal carnival is in town
I think I'm going down and we will
The sexual festival's such a thrill
It makes me just want to kill kill kill kill kill kill

He stopped and looked at Willow who had pouted at that last part. He shrugged and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry!"

Dropping down on his knees in front of her he grasped her hips, reverently running his hands over the smooth lines of her leather covered ass and burying his head between her thighs to continue singing.

I love the perfume round your hips
The way you flirtify your lips
I hear the zipper unzip
Feel the flesh start to rip rip rip rip rip rip rip friggin' rip

Willow leant back, her hands buried in his hair as she felt his lips on her thighs, his voice muffled by the leather, making her flesh tremble. She moaned softly and then screeched as she felt herself falling. Spike caught her hand, stopping her from doing any serious damage, but she still managed to fall off the fountain. She let go of his hand and sat down, spreading her long legs in front of her while leaning back on her elbows.

"Keep singing!!" she giggled at him. Spike shook his head and started to dance about on the fountains edge, doing a lewd striptease for her as he continued to loudly sing the song.

You've got to stand up and be counted
Or lie down and be mounted
You've got no choice, you've got to use your voice
Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya

He eased the leather duster off his shoulders and spun it around his head a few times before tossing it to Willow who clapped and cheered him on. Encouraged he cranked up the volume a few decibels, his voice bouncing of the walls and reverberating about the little square. A few of the students who were leaving the library kept their distance but watched in amusement as he continued.

Fornicators freaks and sodomites
Transsexuals and transvestites
Homo, hetero or confused
Bisexual, used and abused
The perverse litany is here
Sadomasochistic bondage gear
Sex is sin, sin is fun
Come one, come all, in the end just CUM

"What is that?" Buffy asked twisting her head but not loosing Riley whose face was buried in her neck, his mouth happily sucking and licking at the delicate column.

"What's what?" he muttered, unable to hear anything but his own blood screaming through his body as it rushed south to add fuel to the already painful erection he had. He just loved helping Buffy study.

"Someone is singing," Buffy twisted a little more, craning to glance out the window. Of course she saw Spike. Her eyes shot open and she pushed Riley away as she jumped up. She shook her head and blinked a few times, but there was no doubt that it was Spike down in the square. She heard Riley moving behind her and turned to face him. "Um...I forgot a...book," She glanced back at Spike horrified to see him start to lift his shirt up. "You stay here and I'll be right back."

She walked as quickly as possible. All the time she could hear Spike continue his song.

You've got to move into the centre
Or just break and enter
We wanna reach your mind
But through your behind

The panic of seduction
The act of reproduction
Now you're back in the sack
You must describe your function
The shaggin' wagon, sin bin, hip hop knock shop
Your piston's greased, you need release
Not just another pit-stop
Big breasts, sunken chest
Are you better than the rest

What's your measurement
Baby can we make a tent
How much have you spent
Is your arse up for rent
Are you blonde or brunette or is it ginger ginger
Have you been experienced or are you a beginner
You're salivating now coz you're up against the wall,
The pitcher's on the mound so grab the bat and let's play ball,
Let's play ball, let's play ball, let's play ball!

Buffy rounded the corner, ready to confront the vampire when his black t-shirt was suddenly flung in her face. Pulling it away she stared in horror. Spike was half naked happily singing to...Willow? Buffy couldn't help but stare, she had no idea what was going on.

You've got to be loud and be proud now or
Lie nude in the crowd now
I want your touch
Let's get down and Ya ya ya ya ya
ya ya ya ya ya
ya ya ya ya ya
ya ya ya ya ya
You've got to...

"STOP!!!" screamed Buffy just as Spike was about to undo the fly of his jeans. Both Spike and Willow looked at Buffy, startled and a little annoyed at the interruption.

"Slayer," screamed Spike while Willow waved at her. Buffy stomped over and threw the t-shirt at him.

"Get down and get dressed now!" she hissed.

"Look at Spike's chest Buffy, isn't it cute?" Willow staggered to her feet, pulling Spike's duster about her. She glanced at Spike's still naked chest and then back to her friend. "Actually no don't look - you don't deserve to see. You can't have him."

"It's alright, love. I don't want her." Spike giggled as he tried to put his shirt back on, still humming the tune he had been singing.

"Oh please! I wouldn't want you either Spike. Can you just get over yourself for a moment here?"

"You don't know what you are missing Buffy." Willow reached out and ran her hand across his abdomen and down over his crotch.

"Willow!" Buffy slapped her hand away and grabbed her arm. "What is wrong with you? You're acting like you're...have you been drinking?"

"No, I was studying," Willow squirmed out of Buffy's grasp. "You know books and things."

"Well how did you end up here with Spike?"

Willow giggled as Spike ended up sending his t-shirt flying through the air like a rubber band.

"Will you get dressed!" sniped Buffy. Spike pulled a face at her.

"Ew Slayers got her knickers in a knot," he reached out and groped her, eliciting another giggle from Willow. Buffy was shocked, he had just stuck his fingers between her legs and rubbed the satin of her knickers, she was just too shocked to even react. "She's been playing, she's all wet."

"You...how dare...I..." Buffy stuttered.

"Come on Slayer, spit it out," he leered at her. "Or do you swallow?"

That was it Buffy punched him, sending him flying. He landed flat on his back and giggled.

"Buffy!" screeched Willow. She frowned at her friend and stamped her foot while balling her hands into fists. "That was just so...mean!"

"What has gotten into you two?" Buffy asked as she watched Willow zigzagged her way over to Spike, pulling on his hand to help him stand up.

"Nothing...yet!" suggested Spike, pulling Willow up flush against him. He was just about to kiss her when Buffy pulled them apart.

"That's it," she stepped between them. "You put your clothes back on now! And you," she turned to a pouting Willow. "Just...oh I don't know just don't touch him! Hurry up I am taking you to Giles."

Buffy stood with her arms folded, frowning as Spike giggled and fought valiantly to get his t-shirt back on. Some five minutes later he was able to conquer it.

"Let's go," Buffy started to walk towards Giles pushing Spike in front of her.

"I can't," sobbed Willow. Spike moved to go back to her but Buffy caught the scruff of his t-shirt.

"Why not?" asked Buffy through gritted teeth. She didn't know what was going on but she was already sick of it.

"My feet are stuck - they're too heavy, I can't walk," she wailed mournfully. Buffy let out an exasperated sigh and looked at Spike who was still fighting the hold she had on his t-shirt. She let him go and he went straight to Willow, calming her with a cuddle.

"It's alright, pet. How about a piggy back ride?"

"You're too heavy for me," Willow giggled at him and then squealed as he spun around and picked her up. She soon found herself on his back, her arms wrapped around his neck, her legs about his waist while his hands were massaging her ass. Sighing she rested her head on his shoulder. "Sing a song Spike."

"No, no more songs!" stated Buffy trying to hurry them to Giles.

Some ten minutes later, after a terse and trying trip, Buffy pushed them into Giles' living room.

"What on earth? Have they been drinking?" asked Giles as he watched Spike spin them round the room, Willow squealing from his back.

"I have no idea. Short version - I was in the library studying and I heard Spike singing."

"Singing?"

"Singi..." she was cut off as Spike started to do exactly that. "ENOUGH!"

Spike stopped singing and pouted, letting a giggling Willow slowly slide down his back.

"You no fun Buffy," Willow muttered, resting her head on Spike's chest. "Fun spoiler."

Giles stepped closer to the two clearly inebriated individuals and inhaled. There was no smell of alcohol but he did catch a sweet aroma on Willow's breath. "What have you two been doing?"

"Nothing, studying." Willow answered as she plopped down on the couch, Spike moved away and started to walk in circles.

"Did you have anything to eat?"

"No, did you see the pasta they had for dinner...EW! I wasn't going to touch that." Willow rolled her head back and thought for a moment. "But I'm hungry now...Spike do you have anymore of those cookies?"

"Nah, Anya ate em," Spike said as he swayed on his feet.

"Cookies!" Giles exclaimed turning to Buffy. "Call Xander see if Anya's ok."

Buffy dialled the number and was soon speaking to Xander.

"No...no...I don't know how long it will last...is she breathing? Does she have a pulse? Yeah well then she isn't dead...What? No whatever you do don't eat the cookies...well they've been spiked with something obviously..." Buffy shook her head as she listened to Xander.

Spike swung his head around and looked at Buffy, puffing out his chest he pointed a finger at her. "I'll have you bloody well know that I did not touch those cookies."

"You only ate them," giggled Willow from her sprawled position on the couch.

"I can think of something I'd much rather be eating," Spike smirked and started to stalk towards Willow's giggling form. Buffy threw the phone at Giles and lunged at Spike, once again catching him by the scruff of his shirt.

"Oh no you don't!" she pulled him back as Willow sat up and pouted.

"But I want to be spiked." She giggled. "Spike can spike me!"

Spike cocked an eyebrow. "Love, I'd spike you anytime."

"Oh please," said Buffy totally disgusted. "When you two sober up you won't go near each other. Willow he is a vampire - you know evil bad thing. Trust me you don't want him."

"Well you...just because you screw a vamp and we get big bad ass vamp...won't happen to me he's already bad just not bitey. You know Buffy you are just plain selfish at times. Just 'cause you're miserable doesn't mean everyone else has to be. He's not Angel and I'm not you so don't you dare tell me what I can and cannot do," she stood for a moment taking a deep breath. "Or who I can or cannot do."

"That's it. Giles you are on your own. I don't have to be insulted." Buffy dropped Spike and left, slamming the door behind her. Spike stood up, swaying unsteadily, and clapped.

"Well done pet. Didn't she do well watcher?" he grinned. "You told her what for. Stupid bloody slut, she'll get strangled by her own halo one day."

Willow giggled. "So do I get a reward? Are you going to stake me now?"

Spike grinned and opened his arms in invitation. Willow launched herself at him, knocking them both to the floor. Only Willow came back up.

"Oh God, NO!" she screamed sitting astride Spike's prostrated form. She cupped her face as she stared down at him. "I've killed Spike!"

Giles sighed and closed his eyes, counting to ten to try and calm his frayed nerves.

Willow hiccuped loudly before bursting into tears and threw herself onto Spike's chest. "I'm so sorry!" she hiccuped again, gulping back the scalding tears. "There's no heart beat - I gave him a heart attack. Oh god I killed Spike. Spike, Spike, SPIKE!"

She sat back up and grabbed his t-shirt wildly shaking him, trying to revive him while continuing to scream hysterically.

"Willow...Willow...WILLOW!" Giles shouted to break through the girls hysterical sobbing.

"Not now Giles, I've killed Spike!" she spat at him.

"He's already dead, Willow! He's merely passed out from whatever was in those cookies."

Willow looked at Giles and hiccupped, her tears stoping, her mouth gaping open.

"Oh, so he's not dead?" Giles shook his head. Willow slowly turned her attention back to the passed out vampire. Smiling lasciviously she began to rub her groin against his crotch. "Spike, wake up and play."

Giles groaned at the singsong voice and the movement, which was getting more erratic.

"Dear God, will you stop that Willow," he dragged her writhing form off Spike and held her up by her arm.

Willow pouted and twisted in his grasp, her free hand reaching out for Spike. "But, but Giles!! I want to play!!"

"Come on Willow. You're going to sleep it off," he dragged her up the stairs and into his bedroom pulling the door shut before she could escape. A loud bang erupted from the other side as Willow's boot collided with the door.

"I hate you - you ruin all my fun!" Willow shouted, sounding very much like an over tired child.

"Go to sleep Willow," Giles called through the door before turning to go back down stairs. Just as he reached the bottom of the stairs Spike began to groan.

"Willow?" he murmured.

"She's upstairs asleep, go back to sleep."

"Upstairs? In bed?"

"No, she's in the bath. Of course she's in bed."

"Oh..." he giggled, what had he said to her in the library? They needed to get naked in a bed together. "Is she naked?"

"Oh for heavens sake go to sleep Spike!"

"Okay," Spike rolled over onto his side, making himself comfortable as Giles stepped over him and moved back to the table and his beloved books. So involved was Giles that he didn't notice the whacked out vampire sneak up the stairs.

Giles lifted his head and frowned. He could have sworn he heard Willow moaning. Twisting around in his chair he glanced to the spot where he had last seen Spike sprawled, it was empty. As he looked toward the stairs another low moan floated down. Reluctantly he stood up and moved towards the stairs and slowly climbed them. Pausing halfway his stomach tightened and lurched, the sounds of sex echoed around the stairwell, flesh slapping against flesh, gasping breath, moans both male and female. He hesitated, he knew exactly what was going on but he didn't know what to do. He could barge in and try to pull them apart, not a particularly appealing idea, or he could just turn a blind eye to what was happening. His feet felt like lead as he continued to climb the stairs and moved to stand in the doorway, giving him a clear view of the bed and the couple on it. Pale skin melded together, red hair, blonde hair, two bodies moving in perfect unison. Giles, always clinical in his observations, was struck by an odd thought of the two lovers before him - this was not their first time together. Their rhythms and movements were perfectly matched, each lover knew the others body well. Giles was startled out of his observations by Willow clutching at Spike, her back arching, her head rolling back, exposing her neck and crying out his name as she came. Giles shook his head and turned, quickly going back down stairs. He was certain of two things, he was never ever going to speak of what he had seen tonight and tomorrow he was going to buy a new bed.
 
 

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