Rating: PG
Spoilers: Some time during S6.
Summary: Why is it that when you fall in love with someone, they're too busy pining over the one that treats them like crap?
Author's Note: Angsty. My mood.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He's watching her again like she's going to disappear. She noticed and
gave him a look of complete disgust before turning back to Giles. I really
wish
she didn't treat him so horribly.
"Hey Wills." It's Xander. I look up at him. "Where did you go?"
"I don't know." I say, while I'm trying to act confused. "I guess I just went to that other galaxy I like to visit so much." Great. Everyone's focus is on me. I need to get out of here. "It happens once the computer screen drills holes in my eye sockets."
"And that's your cue to tell us to go home and rest, G-man." Xander leans in and stage whispers to Giles.
"Right then," the watcher agrees. "Everyone go and get some rest. We'll continue tomorrow at sunset."
"I'm going patrol." Buffy said as she stood and walked out without a backward glance.
"Red, why don't you let me make sure you get home okay?"
Wow, he noticed I was here. Note the sarcasm. Of course he noticed. She had left the building.
"I'm fine Spike." I reply. "Thanks for the offer." I stand and gather my things. I'm out of the door before the vampire can even reply. It's amazing what a little determination can make a person do.
//////////////////////////
Hey your glass is empty
It's a hell of a long way home
Why don't you let me take you?
It's no good to go alone
//////////////////////////
We go through this every night. I don't regret bringing Buffy back. I really don't. She's my best female friend. But, I do miss *him*. Last summer, when he was helping us after Buffy died, we got to be really great friends. I've told him things I never told anyone. Not even Xander. He let me in on a lot of things about himself, as well. He's extremely intelligent. He loves literature and poetry, of all things. Who would've guessed? When we discussed it, it seemed there might have been more to his description of why he liked poetry so much, but I didn't question him. I didn't want him to think I was prying. I also didn't want him to stop talking to me. I guess I fell in love with him some time during last summer. I was so desperate to keep up our friendship, I let him go on and on about Buffy.
/////////////////////
I never would've opened up
But you seem so real to me
After all the bullshit I've heard
It's refreshing not to see
I don't have to pretend
She doesn't expect it from me
////////////////////////////////
When she came back, once again, Willow didn't exist. But, Spike was happy. That's what mattered to me. Even when she began telling him he was a thing with no soul, I was there for him to talk to.
When they started.whatever it was they were doing, I knew. I could tell. It broke my heart even more to see him so humiliated by her. He was as good as castrated thanks to my best friend.
I feel so bad for not being able to do anything for him. I know she's upset because we pulled her out of heaven, but she doesn't have to treat someone who loves her as much as he does, the way she treats him. And he keeps going back for more.
////////////////////////////
Don't tell me I
Haven't been good to you
Don't tell me I
Have never been there for you
Don't tell me why
Nothing is good enough
////////////////////////
"Willow!"
I stop and turn to look at him as he catches up with me. God, he's so beautiful. I wish he could just love me the way I love him. Or, at least he could realize that Buffy doesn't love him so he can stop making a fool of himself. Oh, he's caught up to me.
"Why are you crying, luv?" He asks. "Did something happen?"
/////////////////////////
Hey little girl,
Would you like some candy?
Your mamma said it's okay
The door is open
Come on outside
'No, I can't come out today'
/////////////////////////
"How are all of your bruises and breaks?" I ask, changing the subject. She beat him up a few nights ago. Apparently she did a pretty good job, because I can still see some bruising even with his vampire healing.
"Better." He says quietly. "She really didn't mean to do so much damage, Red." He's making excuses. Again.
"You went back for more, didn't you?" I ask, even though I already know the answer. He doesn't say anything. He just avoids eye contact. "Why do you let her turn you into her whipping boy slut?" More tears. I'm such a wuss. I finally get a hold of my emotions after a few minutes. "I'm sorry. It's not my business." I say softly.
////////////////////////
It's not the wind that cracked your shoulder
And threw you to the ground
Who's there that makes you so afraid,
You're shaking to the bone?
I don't understand
You deserve so much more than this
//////////////////////////
"Why do you care so much?" He asks. Stupid question. Of course, only a man is that blind.
"I.I" I stammer. "I just do." I finish lamely.
//////////////////////////
So, don't tell me why
She's never been good to you
Don't tell me why
She's never been there for you
Don't you know that why,
Is simply not good enough?
/////////////////////////
"Listen, I can make it home by myself, alright?" I say in what I hope is a friendly type of tone. "I'm a bad ass wicca now, remember?" I try to smile.
"What if I said 'no'?" He asked me with defiance in his voice.
"It would probably be the first time you've said it in months." I reply snappily. "Did we re-grow a spine?"
"Ouch." He says with a chuckle. "And she comes out swingin'."
"You should just let me go, Sp." I begin.
"NO!" he shouts. I look at him. He has determination in his eyes. I haven't seen that in a long time. I miss it. "I miss this."
I didn't say that out loud, did I? He looks at me as if waiting for a response. No, he said it. That would've been really embarrassing.
"You miss what?" I ask.
"You. Us." He answers. "How do we get that back?"
/////////////////////////
Oh, so just let me try
And I will be good to you
Just let try
And I will be there for you
I'll show you why
You're so much more than good enough.
///////////////////////
We walk in silence for a few minutes.
"Spike." It's Buffy. Here he goes. Back for more punishment.
"Yeah?" He asks.
"Can we talk?" She asks. I turn towards home.
"Is it world in peril stuff?" He asks.
"No," She says. "I guess it's not."
"Sorry, I'm walking Red here home." He says. "Then, we're watching a
movie. I'll catch up with you tomorrow at Rupert's." He puts his hand on
my
shoulder. "Why were you leaving? Were you not therefor the conversation
you and I just had?"
"I didn't think you meant it." I say almost inaudibly. He moves to face me and makes eye contact.
"I mean it."
The End