He stood outside the door of her house. He felt
that his undead arms and legs had finally failed him.
He wasn't sure whether to wait for the little redhead
to go for another nightly walk, or just knock on the
door.
While contemplating his options, the door opened
slowly, and there stood his little witch--ex-witch--in
all her glory. She was once again wearing a turtleneck
sweater and a pair of jeans.
"There *is* such a thing as knocking, you know."
She said with a sly smile.
"Oh, yeah. That'll go over really well." Spike
replied sarcastically. "'Hi Slayer. I know I just put
an end to our shag-fest because I think I'm crazy
about your best friend. May I come in?' No, a stake
wouldn't be involved in *that* little scenario." He
said as he took out a cigarette and lit it.
Willow was stunned. She stepped outside the door
and shut it lightly. "Wha-huh?" was the only thing
that came out of her mouth.
He smiled at her innocence. "Let's go for another
of our walks." He said. When she just stood there
still staring at him, he raised his scarred eyebrow.
"Pet?"
"Oh, um...sure." The two headed off down the
street.
Both were silent for the first few minutes. Oddly
enough, it was Willow who spoke first.
"Umm...Spike?"
"Hmm?"
"You *do* realize I'm gay, don't you?" She asked.
"Luv, if you were completely homosexual, you never
would've agreed to go walk with me just now." He
answered with a chuckle as he crushed his cigarette
butt under his boot.
"No, Spike. Really,..."
"Red, just hear me out." She stopped and looked up
at the vampire, wide-eyed curiousity and his beautiful
sea blue eyes getting the best of her. He looked
towards the sky, took a deep unneeded sigh, and began.
"Look Willow," he started. "I know I acted like a
complete wanker where the slayer was concerned." She
stayed silent and motioned for him to continue. He
then looked down before looking her in the eye. "I
never loved her. I know that now."
"Then why...?" The redhead began.
"The passion. It..."
"Oh, I get it." Willow replied. "She's beautiful,
and the slayer, and..."
"No." He said shaking his head. "Let me try this
another way: Before I was chipped, I *really* wanted
to kill her." He paused. "It didn't stop once I got
the chip, either." He said more to himself. "But, I
couldn't even hit her, let alone kill 'er. I think the
anger, passion, and frustration that I couldn't take
out on her physically, had taken some sort of mental
incarnation. Does that make sense?"
Willow nodded slightly and then shook her head
before she looked away. "But, why me? That's what I
don't get."
"How can you say that?" He asked as he tilted her
chin so that she could look at him. "You're amazing."
The redhead blushed. "Those eyes, that smile, you're
the real thing, luv."
"Spike, I..." She started to say as the tears
welled up in her eyes.
"I'll give you time, Willow. All the time you
need." He said. "And I won't try and rush you, either.
This is the real thing. I can wait forever for you."
The tears in the redhead's eyes were now flowing
freely down her pale cheeks. He thought he saw a hint
of acceptance in her eyes, but couldn't get his hopes
up of her seeing the truth so quickly.
They walked in silence for a few minutes more.
"Please, take some time and think about it?" He
asked. She nodded as he wiped the tears from her face
with his thumbs. "Now." He said. "It's getting rather
cold out. You should head back inside." She turned to
walk away. "If ever you want to talk, I'll be here."
He said before giving her what she considered the most
beautiful smile in the world. She kissed him on the
cheek and walked silently back into the house.
read the sequal 'I'm Thinking...'