Disclaimer: Joss, etc own all. I own the conversation.
Spoilers: Up through Buffy's birthday in S6
Pairing: W/S (mentions B/S--yes, it stands for bullsh**)
Summary: A certain redhead and certain vampire have an insightful conversation.
Distribution: my site "Gunnin' Down Angel" http://www.angelfire.com/tv2/gda134/ , Near Her Always, Red's Soul Mates, and whoever else already has it. Anyone who wants it, just tell me where it's going.
Author's note: It was just in my head since that episode. You know how much I hate B/S, although there is no Buffy bashing in this one.
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~Part: 1~ A Lot To Think About
Walking through the suburban streets of Sunnydale left little or no comfort to a worried mind. Especially in the middle of the night. Yet, the redhead continued her trek around the block. Willow knew it was dangerous, but her brain would not let her rest. So, she decided that moving around was the best way to induce sleep.
"I always figured you for the smart one." An accented voice stated.
"Maybe you should reconsider how much brain power you think you have." She replied coldly as she continued to walk. Spike quickly caught up to her and began to match her steps.
"Seriously Red, shouldn't you be inside now?" Spike asked.
"What do you care, Spike?" Willow asked as she stopped to face the vampire. "As long as you have permission to f-- sleep with my best friend, you really don't *have* to care what happens to the rest of us." She then continued to walk. The bleach blonde stood in shocked silence as the redheads retreating form got farther and farther away.
"Hey!" He yelled. "Wait up!"
Willow stopped and 'shushed' him. "Are you crazy? We are in a residential neighborhood!" She said in a loud whisper.
"And that matters to me, why?..." He asked. She just looked into his playful blue eyes and shook her head. "Anyway, how did you...?" He started to ask.
"Yeah, like it wasn't obvious." she replied.
"Hm." He said. The two were silent for a few moments.
"So, what are you doing here?" She finally asked. "It's not like you have to sneak up on her to see her anymore."
"Maybe I didn't want to see her." He said indignantly.
"And maybe I live on a tv show." She said sarcastically.
"Well, well. Look who decided to finally become a bitch!" He said playfully.
"Get used to it." She replied with a smile. "Not being able to use magic is worse than than the most horrible kind of PMS. Makes a girl more than cranky."
"Well, I wouldn't know about that." He said as he looked her over. She was wearing a pair of worn jeans and a dark blue turtleneck. Her hair seemed the perfect length: just above her shoulders. A definite natural beauty.
"What?" She asked when she saw him staring at her.
"Do you have *any* idea how brave you are?"
"Huh?"
"Willow, demon-girl did *not* make it easy on you tonight. You could've easily reverted back to using magic, but you didn't." Willow stared at Spike in disbelief as he continued to speak. "That amount of self control shows who has got the biggest wrinklies in this little Scooby gang."
"Spike, I..." She started.
"Don't say anything, Red. I'm just letting you know that...well...I admire you." He gestured towards the house. "You'd better get inside. Wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you after everything you've been through, now would you?"
"Um...no." She was still stunned speechless. When she finally regained the power of speech, she called out to the retreating form of the handsome vampire. "Spike!"
"Yeah, Luv?" He said as he turned to face her.
"Thanks." She said with a smile.
He smiled a genuine smile at her before saying, "Keep the volume down, pet. We're in a residential neighborhood, after all."
Then, he turned and headed towards his crypt, where he realized he had a lot of thinking to do.
~Part: 2~ So, What Do You Think?
He stood outside the door of her house. He felt that his undead arms and legs had finally failed him. He wasn't sure whether to wait for the little redhead to go for another nightly walk, or just knock on the door.
While contemplating his options, the door opened slowly, and there stood his little witch--ex-witch--in all her glory. She was once again wearing a turtleneck sweater and a pair of jeans.
"There *is* such a thing as knocking, you know." She said with a sly smile.
"Oh, yeah. That'll go over really well." Spike replied sarcastically. "'Hi Slayer. I know I just put an end to our shag-fest because I think I'm crazy about your best friend. May I come in?' No, a stake wouldn't be involved in *that* little scenario." He said as he took out a cigarette and lit it.
Willow was stunned. She stepped outside the door and shut it lightly. "Wha-huh?" was the only thing that came out of her mouth.
He smiled at her innocence. "Let's go for another of our walks." He said. When she just stood there still staring at him, he raised his scarred eyebrow. "Pet?"
"Oh, um...sure." The two headed off down the street.
Both were silent for the first few minutes. Oddly enough, it was Willow who spoke first.
"Umm...Spike?"
"Hmm?"
"You *do* realize I'm gay, don't you?" She asked.
"Luv, if you were completely homosexual, you never would've agreed to go walk with me just now." He answered with a chuckle as he crushed his cigarette butt under his boot.
"No, Spike. Really,..."
"Red, just hear me out." She stopped and looked up at the vampire, wide-eyed curiousity and his beautiful sea blue eyes getting the best of her. He looked towards the sky, took a deep unneeded sigh, and began. "Look Willow," he started. "I know I acted like a complete wanker where the slayer was concerned." She stayed silent and motioned for him to continue. He then looked down before looking her in the eye. "I never loved her. I know that now."
"Then why...?" The redhead began.
"The passion. It..."
"Oh, I get it." Willow replied. "She's beautiful, and the slayer, and..."
"No." He said shaking his head. "Let me try this another way: Before I was chipped, I *really* wanted to kill her." He paused. "It didn't stop once I got the chip, either." He said more to himself. "But, I couldn't even hit her, let alone kill 'er. I think the anger, passion, and frustration that I couldn't take out on her physically, had taken some sort of mental incarnation. Does that make sense?"
Willow nodded slightly and then shook her head before she looked away. "But, why me? That's what I don't get."
"How can you say that?" He asked as he tilted her chin so that she could look at him. "You're amazing." The redhead blushed. "Those eyes, that smile, you're the real thing, luv."
"Spike, I..." She started to say as the tears welled up in her eyes.
"I'll give you time, Willow. All the time you need." He said. "And I won't try and rush you, either. This is the real thing. I can wait forever for you." The tears in the redhead's eyes were now flowing freely down her pale cheeks. He thought he saw a hint of acceptance in her eyes, but couldn't get his hopes up of her seeing the truth so quickly.
They walked in silence for a few minutes more.
"Please, take some time and think about it?" He asked. She nodded as he wiped the tears from her face with his thumbs. "Now." He said. "It's getting rather cold out. You should head back inside." She turned to walk away. "If ever you want to talk, I'll be here." He said before giving her what she considered the most beautiful smile in the world. She kissed him on the cheek and walked silently back into the house.
~Part: 3~ I'm Thinking...
Willow looked up and saw the vampire glance her way. She smiled at how deceptively innocent he could look. She also noticed that Buffy had been giving him evil glares. ~Maybe he actually *did* stop seeing her.~
Spike couldn't help but watch his beautiful Willow. She was working on her laptop trying to find the weaknesses of the most recent Sunnydale evil. He loved the way she looked when she was deep in concentration. Just then, he felt as if he was being watched. He felt his muscles tense as he looked around. That was when he noticed Buffy glaring daggers at him. He easily shifted his position so that she could no longer see his face as he continued to admire his redhead and do research.
Later, he was sent downstairs to the basement of the Magic Box to retrieve a rather heavy artifact that may help in the destruction of the Meeche' demon. Soon, he heard footsteps.
"So.do you.ummm.need any help?"
"No thanks, Buffy. I can manage." He replied in a neutral tone. He wasn't angry with her. He just knew that none of it should've happened.
"Spike, why won't you.?" "Why won't I *what*, Slayer?" The vampire retorted. "Be your little lap dog? Fuck you when you get the itch? Subject myself to your verbal abuse, not to mention disgust, when you look at me?" He paused. "That's not what I want. I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" She yelled. "You love me, damn it! Now, all of a sudden you stop, and what? Mack on my friend?"
"I don't love you, Slayer. I never loved you. Even if I had, did you love me?"
"No! You're.a soulless demon, for heaven's sake! I could never love you." She said with undisguised disgust.
"Then, what's the problem?" He asked. "I've moved on. I've gotten over it. I won't be with someone who doesn't understand who I am. I won't be with someone who just wants to use me to scratch an itch because she's so self-centered, she can't think of anyone but herself and her own feelings." His voice had begun to gain volume during that last tirade, which caused the rest of the Scooby gang to listen by the door.
"But, who will I.?" She said with tears in her eyes.
"You need help, Slayer." He said at a normal volume. "Talk to someone who may be able to help you. You were a formidable opponent when we were enimies and I'll continue to help your little Scooby gang, but please don't go knocking on my crypt door anymore." He picked up the weapon and headed towards the stairs. "It's funny how one of the strongest people I've ever met got me to see this without even trying."
"What did I get you to see?" The slayer asked with a sniffle.
"No, I mean real strength." He tapped his head and then his undead heart when he said the next few words. "Here.and here." He paused. She glared at him, as he looked towards the stairs. "Don't blame her. Don't do anything to hurt her, or I swear by all that's unholy, I will make you pay for it. Is that clear?"
"But."
"She's the most amazing person I've ever met, Slayer. That's never going to change. See you around." He proceeded up the stairs as Buffy sat there and cried.
~~~*~~~
She walked through the cemetery wondering if this was the right thing to do. ~Me and Spike?~ she wondered to herself. At least he was true to his word. He gave her time. He didn't stalk her the way he had done the Slayer. Over the past week when the Scooby gang had required his services, he had been polite, but kept an eye on her.
Now, here she was, headed towards his crypt. She hoped she wouldn't lose her nerve.
"You know, you're making your nightly walks more and more dangerous." The sexy voice with the British accent said. She stopped when she heard his voice and then saw him leaning against a crypt smoking a cigarette. He arched his scarred eyebrow and smiled a mischievous smile. "A cemetery?"
"What can I say? I'm a rebel." She said, trying to sound light and carefree.
"That you are, pet." He said with a chuckle. He started to approach her. "You know, you could've waited until daylight, when it would've been safer."
"No, I couldn't." she said as she suddenly found her shoes very interesting.
"Willow?" He said with concern. "What's wrong?"
"Well, that's an understatement!" she exclaimed.
"Excuse me?" Now, he was confused.
"Damn it, Spike! You're not making this any easier!"
"I'm sorry, Luv." He said softly as he took her hand and led her inside the crypt. "Why don't you have a seat?"
"Thanks." She said as she sat down and he handed her a soda from his mini-fridge. He smiled at how polite she could be even when she was upset.
"So," He said as he sat opposite her. "What's the problem?"
"You." She said sadly.
"Me? But I haven't done anything! I've given you plenty of space, haven't I?"
"That's the problem, Spike!" Willow yelled. "You're being so wonderful, a-and it's making me like you more and more. And I-I don't know how long I can stay away from you!"
Spike had the grin of a five year old on Christmas morning when she finally looked up at him. "What?" She asked with a playful dejection.
"You." He said, completely dumbfounded. "You are so incredibly wonderful!"
"I am?" She asked with wide emerald eyes.
"Don't ever doubt that, Red." He said as he went to her and tilted her chin so that she was eye to eye with him.
The two were silent for a few moments as they studied one another's faces-each filled with hope and the beginnings of something magnificent.
"Do you think you could care about someone as horrible as me?"
"Horrible? Spike, you're beautiful."
"So," he said with a sly smile. "Would you be willing.I mean.to ummm.you know.maybe.goouttodinnersometime?"
He was nervous! ~He's so cute when he's nervous!~
"Uh, Red..." Spike said, unsure of himself. Willow returned to reality and smiled at the blue-eyed vampire.
"Yes, Spike. I would love to go out to dinner with you."
End