~Part 1~

              Spike and Willow had been together for about three or
four months.  Things seemed to be going well for both of them.
Willow knew
that Spike had his vampy ways and Spike knew that Willow needed to be
pampered and spoiled sometimes.  At least that is what Willow was
thinking when she walked into Spike's apartment building.  She heard
the music as soon as she walked in the front door.  She liked
Santana, in
fact she had bought the cd for Spike the first week they were
together.  She juggled her bags as she fumbled for the keys that
Spike insisted
that she have.  As soon as she opened the door she knew there was
something wrong.  The song,
<<Oh Goddess, not this song!>>
Willow thought to herself.  The song that she heard blaring out of
the speakers situated around the apartment was the one and only song
she didn't
like on the whole album.

Beauty and grace is what touches me most
Good time can put me in fear
Always feel safe when things are bad
So I cannot let you come near
It seems that I thrive on the dark side of things
I always feel alive when the death bell rings
Now you have come and bring out the tears in me
 

Pain never makes me cry, but happiness does
It's so strange to watch my life go by
Wishing it was
Wishing it was more like a fantasy
Where everyone surprises me
Wishing it was

"Oh Goddess, no!" Tears welled up in her eyes, as she looked
frantically around for some sign of her bleach blonde lover.  There
was none.  No sign that he had ever lived there.  The curtains, the
thick brocade ones that they had found together at a flea market to
block out the sun were
wide open, letting the sun it stream in.  As soon as she noticed they
were open she began looking for scorch marks and dust.  Tears running
down her face, sobs wracking her slender frame, she searched the
whole apartment.  She looked in the closets but when she reached the
room
they so often shared she noticed all of his clothes were gone.  It
confirmed  what she had known all along, he had left.

This feeling won't last cause I cannot survive
I tell you I've been here before
When it's movin this fast
It's a matter of time
One of us walks out that door
It seems that I thrive on the dark side of things
I always feel alive when the death bell rings
Now you come and you bring out the tears in me
 

Give this some thought
And I'm sure you will know
This is the way it must be
Emotions will rise, emotions will flow
You bring out the tears in me
 

It's so strange to watch your life walk and where everyday
I've been burning the candle at both ends
And lied the truth I can't pretend
This is why I will not stay baby
Just like that I'm on my way
 
 

      "Gone," she muttered to herself as she realized that he had
left this song on continuous play for her to hear.  "This is the way
he
breaks up with me?  Not even the decency to try to talk it out?  No
warning?"  Willow was now very angry.  Her green eyes blazed with
intense fury.  Oz had messed with her mind when he slept with Veruca,
but she could forgive him for that.  He was under the influence
of the wolf when that happened but Spike, he just left.  No warning,
no Dear Jane letter, just a stupid song.  Her shoulders slumped and
she plopped herself to the carpet in tears.  She listened closely to
the lyrics she'd never paid any attention to as the song came on
again and realized that Spike was scared.  He was
afraid of loving her and this was the only way he knew to tell her.
She put her resolve face on, stood up and turning the stereo off.
She walked
out the door and locked it.  As she left the building she swore to
herself that she would find him and find out exactly why he left.
Her best chance
of finding him was in L.A. with Angel..................
 

~Part 2~

      As Willow stood in front of the building that housed Angel
Investigations, she felt the anger at her situation well up in her
again.
"Stupid vampire, who does he think he is, leaving me like that?!"
she grumbled as she made her way up to the office.  >Spike, you
better be here!<she thought to herself.  As she opened the door, she
heard a scuffling noise inside and a door slam.  She pushed the door
open and saw a very nervous Angel, trying to look very
nonchalant.  "Angel, the innocent look does not become you, besides,
you look the cat who ate the canary.  You might as well have yellow
feathers sticking out of your mouth.  Where is he?"
"Where is who?"  Angel answered, doing his best not to smile.  He
really didn't want to get involved with this but Spike had come to
him asking, of all things, advice!  Spike was freaked out!  He had
admitted to Angel, that he had fallen head over heels in love with
the red haired witch and had no idea how to handle it.  He was a
vampire and she was human.  "We're not supposed to even like
eachother."  Spike growled, while telling his Sire of his problem.
They had been right in the middle of this discussion when Spike got
this frightened look, >yes Spike, frightened< and muttered something
like, "Red!  Here!" and bolted from the room.  Willow, though, was
not amused.  Therefore, Angel did his best not to burst out
laughing.  "You know who, Angel.  Where is your Childe?  Where is
he!"  she shouted.  She hadn't driven all this way to be made fun of
by a pompous ass of a vampire.  She usually like Angel but today,
today he was nothing to her.  All that mattered was finding out why
Spike had left her and to stake him for doing it the way he had.
>Well, maybe not "stake" him but something almost as painful!<  Angel
looked Willow over and noticed how angry she really was, the girl was
shaking with rage.......and fear.  His demon smelled intense fear on
her.  >Damn Spike!  How could he do this to her?  Did he realize
exactly what he had done?<  Angel growled.  "He doesn't want to talk
to you right now."  He saw Willows green eyes get darker with rage
and then the dam broke.  Her shoulders slumped and she sobbed,  "Why
did he leave me? Why?"  she cried into her hands.  Angel walked over
to her and wrapped his arms around her, letting her cry into his
chest.
At that moment, Cordelia walked in.  Looking at Willow, then her boss
and back to Willow, she walked over, yanked Willow out of Angels arms
and glared.  "So...what the hell did you do to Willow?  Why is she
crying?  Are you ok, Will?"  "I'm ok."  Willow sniffled.  "Spike left
me."
"Angel?  Where is he?" asked Cordelia.  "Downstairs, probably hiding
under the bed."  "Well, go down there and get him, NOW!!!" ordered
the former prom queen.  "Yes Ma'am" saluted Angel.  "Don't you mock
me, Mister!"  she growled.  "Go get him!  Will, sit down and I will
get you something to wipe your face with."  Angel thought it best not
to cross Cordie when she had her mind set on something, so he went
downstairs to get his coward of a Childe.  Sure enough, Spike was
under his bed hiding like there was a monster coming for him.  Angel
lifted the bed and yanked Spike up by his collar.  "Ouch, ya bloody
Wanker!  That hurt!"  Spike whined.  "Is she gone?  Did you tell her
I wasn't here?"  "No!"  Angel growled letting his game face come
forward.  "She's upstairs crying her heart out.  What did you do?  I
thought you left after you
talked to her?  She has no idea why you left!"  Angel was about ready
to throw Spike across the room when he heard a soft voice, "No, Angel,
don't."  He turned to see Willow with a very worried looking Cordelia
behind her.  The air crackled with tension.  Willows eyes were red
from
crying but he saw no other sign of pain in them.  She was calm and
collected and that was what worried him.  "Red?  Let me explain...."
>Spike
actually was worried<  thought Angel as he smiled to himself.  "NO!!
Let  me tell you!!!!" she shouted.  "Let me tell you what you did!!!
You
left me!  You left me without telling me why!  I thought someone had
come in and staked you.  I hate that stupid song you left on!  It's
stupid!
Angel, Corelia!!  Leave us, please?  I need to talk to Spike alone."
Angel grabbed Cordelia and they both ran upstairs.  Cordelia looked
at
Angel and then relaxed when she saw the smile on his face.  >Ok,
everything is ok< she thought.
Meanwhile, downstairs.......
"Pet, don't go doing anything rash."  said Spike.  "Shutup!  Spike,
you hurt me!  Why?  Why did you hurt me?  I thought things were going
well.  What gave you the right to hurt me?"  Willow was enraged,
Spike could see that, and he knew better to talk back to her.  None
of his trademark sarcasm would get him out of this one.  He knew he
should've talked to her before he left but he couldn't bear letting
her see the "human" side of him.  The side of him that was scared so
much that he actually ran to his pouf of a Sire.  "I love you,
Spike!  What do I mean to you?  Was all that stuff you told me just
to get down my pants?  Did you just lead me on?  I mean, Goddess,
Spike!  You didn't have to lead me on for four months!  I can handle
a one night stand like the rest of them, but I can't deal with my
feelings being played with.  If you wanted no strings attached, you
should've told me!"  Willow realized she was shouting now and did her
best to compose herself.  Her hands were balled into fists and her
heart was racing.  Spike looked at her and saw the green in her eyes
was almost black with rage.  He stepped forward and said,  "Can I
speak now?"  Willow nodded.  "I left because, I love you too.  I hate
the fact that I am in love with a human.  I am a vampire, we are not
supposed to even like eachother.  I have never felt anything like
this before, not even with Dru.  And that.........scares me."
admitted Spike.  He took a couple steps toward the red headed witch.
He stopped and watched her reaction.  She leaned towards him and he
took the remaining steps and wrapped his arms around her.  He buried
his face in her hair and took a deep unneeded breath.  She smelled
like strawberries and tears.  He lifted her chin gently with two
fingers and looked into her eyes.  He could smell the fear in her and
that turned him on and made him unhappy at the same time.>She was
afraid of him.<  She shifted her weight against him and felt him
harden against her.  She smiled and looked at him with a mixture of
lust and uncertainty, "Spike?"

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