** thoughts **

***********************************************************************

Willow ducked down behind the tombstone as she saw Buffy exit the crypt.
Slowly, she counted to ten in her head before peering over the stone to
see if the coast was clear.

It was.

She could see Buffy head out of the graveyard, looking every inch the
Buffybot, except that the walk wasn't quite as bouncy, and the shoulders
weren't quite so straight.

** Poor Buffy. She's really had a hard time of it lately. Although I
don't think that entirely excuses what I suspect she just did. **

Watching and waiting until Buffy was entirely out of sight, she crept
out from her hiding place, towards Spike's crypt, where she tentatively
pushed the door open, filled with dread at what she'd find.

She felt a knot form in her stomach as she took in the sight of his
battered and bruised form. She guessed that he hadn't moved since Buffy
had left. He was sitting on the edge of the bier, his head hanging down,
the very picture of defeat.

** Oh goddess. They've broken him. **

In that instant, he must have heard her, because he turned to look at
her, and her heart broke as she realised from the flicker of hope in his
eyes that he had expected it to be Buffy, and when he saw it was her,
his head slumped downwards again.

Biting the inside of her lip to keep the tears from forming, she took
tentative steps towards him. She knew that he would hate that she was
seeing him in this state. Weak. Needing Help. That he would probably
hate what she was about to do, but she couldn't bear to think of him
abandoned in the crypt, where he was vulnerable to anything that felt
lucky. She knew that word would get out pretty quickly about what had
happened, and wanted to make sure that Spike was kept out of harm's way.

"S.. Spike?"

She stepped closer when he didn't respond. Wanting to touch him, to hold
him and comfort him but afraid that even the slightest touch would cause
him pain.

"Spike. Please look at me. We need to get... " her voice trailed off
into silence as he raised his head to look at her. She tried hard, but
couldn't stop the gasp of horror as she saw for the first time the mess
that had been made of his face.

** His beautiful face.... why... oh goddess why? Even with vampire
healing, how long will that take to heal... if it heals at all... **

"Can you stand? It's nearly sunset and we need to get you out of here
and somewhere safe before dark. Word will already be getting around and
I won't have you be an easy target for any demon who feels the need for
bragging rights."

He sat there for a moment, not moving.

"Spike please... " her voice cracked with the effort of holding back the
tears that threatened to spill over.

"It's okay. You can lean on me. It's not far. I borrowed my parents car
and brought it as close as I could. I even blacked out the windows.
Please, let's just get out of here... " she said as she tried to keep
the rising panic out of her voice.

"Here, I'll get the duster.... " she moved over to the duster and picked
it up, trying not to wince as she saw him slowly and painfully slide off
the bier until his feet were touching the ground.

She held the duster out for him, and gently helped him into it, grabbing
two nearby blankets to cover him with until they got to the car.

"You just lean on me any way that it's comfortable for you. I don't know
where to touch you. I don't want to hurt you." she said as she moved
closer to him,

"Spike...?" she said tentatively... "c'mon... please... " she looked up
at him with pleading eyes and relief flooded through her as he moved and
laid an arm over her shoulders.
 

"Okay, tell me if I'm going to fast and we can slow down... oh.. and if
I hurt you... I'll change position, just let me know" She babbled as she
slid an arm about his waist and started moving towards the door. "I'll
come back later for your stuff, but let's just get you out of here for now".

As they got to the door of the crypt, she disentangled herself just long
enough to gently place the blankets over his head.

"You just watch your feet and I'll worry about where we're going, okay?"
she tried to sound positive.

Although the walk to the car only took a few minutes, it seemed like an
eternity to her. An eternity filled with dread as she watched the sun
slip down further in the sky. As they got to the car, she reclined the
front passenger seat right back and helped him get into the seat,
tenderly covering him with the blankets.

As soon as she was certain that he was as comfortable as possible, she
closed the door gently, quickly looked around to see if anyone had
spotted them, and when she was satisfied that no-one had, she raced
round to the other side of the car, getting in as quickly as she could,
and headed for her parents house.

She was profusely grateful that her parents house had an integrated
garage, and that they were the sort of people to have all the latest
gadgets, as she flipped the button on the remote control that opened the
double garage.

** Goddess. I promise never to think badly of my parents again after
this. **

Watching the last rays of the sun disappear as the door slid closed
behind them she breathed a sigh of relief and got out of the car and
went round to help Spike out of the car.

"Do you think you can make it up the stairs?" she asked, as they got
through the door into the house. I could make up the couch for you, but
I think you'd be more comfortable upstairs, if you think you can make
it, that is."

** Stop babbling, Willow ** she mentally berated herself.

"Yeah. I can do the stairs." Spike's voice was barely more than a
whisper, and each word was obviously an effort.

"Okay then. Comfy bed it is."

As they made their way slowly up the stairs, she couldn't help but feel
anger build up inside her. At Glory, for actually doing the damage in
the first place, but most of all for Buffy. Buffy who'd known how Spike
felt about her, and who had come up with the bizarre plan to dress up as
the Buffybot to find out if he'd given Glory the identity of the key.
She shuddered slightly as she imagined the lengths that Buffy would have
taken the Buffybot pretense to, in order to get the information she
wanted. Not caring what it might do to Spike.

Realising they were at the top of the stairs, she snapped herself away
from the thoughts to concentrate on the task at hand. She gently pushed
the door to her room open with her foot, and felt Spike slow as he
realised where they were headed.

"It's okay... really..."

As they neared the bed, she disentangled herself from him once more, to
gently remove the duster.

"Can you sit on the edge of the bed for me?"

As he slowly moved himself towards the edge of the bed she moved towards
her desk to get a pair of scissors.

"Don't worry, it's just for the t-shirt. Can't have you sleeping in
that. It's all torn and bloody. Just sit still... " fingers shaking
slightly, she cut the t-shirt from his body, silently chastising herself
for the tiny thrill she felt when she saw his naked torso, even in it's
bruised and battered state.

** Bad Willow! Bad! **

Kneeling, she fumbled with his laces and gently lifted each foot in turn
to remove his shoes.

"Okay, you can lie down now... "

As he lay down, she wondered if she should take off his jeans too, but
decided against it. She didn't think she could handle an even more naked
Spike in her bed. Especially when he was in this state.

** Typical. I finally get a man in here, half naked, and he's all
broken... **

As she pulled the covers up over him, she felt his hand move and grasp
hers. She looked into his eyes and saw gratitude amongst the pain and
exhaustion. He squeezed her hand gently, and she sat down on the edge of
the bed.

"It's okay. It's the least I could do. Sleep now. I'll stay close by,
just call if you need anything."

She made a move to get up, but the grip on her hand stayed firm.

"Okay, I'll stay here for a while. Just sleep."

He seemed satisfied with that as he closed his eyes. It didn't take long
before the grip slackened and when she was sure he was asleep, she bent
her head and kissed his hand softly.

"Heal quickly Spike. I love you." she whispered softly.

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