Something Black and Blue

Author: Bytemi

Pairing: Spike/Willow

Spoilers: Something Blue (hence the title).

Summary: Willow's depression over Oz leads to a botched spell.

Feedback: This is my very first fic, *ever*.  Questions? Comments?  Wanna talk dirty?  Please let me know what you think; after all, if it sucks and I keep going, you have only yourselves to blame!

E-mail: bytemi66@yahoo.com

Distribution: Just ask me.  After I get over the initial shock, I'm sure I'll say yes.

Disclaimer: I do not claim any rights to these characters.  I'm just using them for my own twisted gratification. Thus; no profit.  No copyright infringement intended.

Thanks: Spikedluv, for her encouragement and support, without which I wouldn't be subjecting you to my ramblings. I luv ya, sweetcheeks!  And double-thanks for the beta!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 

~Part: 1~

      Willow walked into Giles' apartment without knocking.  "Hey Giles," she called out, trying her best to sound breezy and carefree, and not quite succeeding.

      "Ah, good, you're here.  Sorry about this Willow, but I couldn't reschedule my appointment," he said to her, smiling gently.

      Willow nodded in response.  She was going to baby-sit Spike for a couple hours.  "Sure Giles, glad to help out," she said, still feigning cheerfulness.  Buffy had given some lame excuse about needing to study.  As if!  Of course, Buffy still expected her help with an essay later.  So, here she was, stuck.  All she wanted was to go to Oz's room and curl up on his bed; she needed to feel close to him, any way that she could.

      Giles thanked her, and rushed from the apartment like a prisoner granted early release.  Willow sighed and walked into the bathroom.

      "Hi, Sp-," she began, stopping as she realized he was asleep.  Her face softened as she looked at him.  He looked so tranquil, almost sweet, she thought to herself.  His head was at an awkward angle against the edge of the tub.  Goodness!  That must be uncomfortable.

      Spike began to stir as the sound of her heartbeat reached his sensitive hearing.  "'ello Red.  Draw the short end of the stick, did we?" Spike spat out.  This tub is bloody fucking uncomfortable, he thought.  He tried to work the kink out of his neck by shrugging his shoulders and moving his head back and forth.

      Willow looked at him, and cocked her head, frowning.  She turned and walked out.

      Spike raised his eyebrows.  The little witch was uncharacteristically quiet.  Hell, even when he was trying to bite her, she had babbled continuously.  Her pain radiated from her in a fog so thick he could taste it.  He closed his eyes and opened his mouth, breathing in and tasting her despair, letting it roll over his palate.  Delicious.  He opened his eyes and looked at what she was holding.  A pillow?  He looked back up at her face, surprised.

      She didn't say anything, just leaned over him to tuck the pillow behind his head.  As he leaned forward to accommodate her, he got quite the eyeful.  Spike stared straight down her blouse.  He smirked to himself; she was quite a tasty morsel under all these hideous clothes.  Her breast brushed against his arm as she pulled away, and his cock twitched in response.  Casually, he moved his cuffed hands to hide his reaction.

      "Better?" she asked, her eyes flicking to his face.

      Spike nodded.  Damn, the little witch was being almost nice to him.  Right disconcerting, it was.

      Willow nodded back and left the bathroom again.  Goddess, the whole time she was in there she could feel his eyes on her.  She wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans.  She could do this.  It was just Spike, after all.  Sexy, gorgeous Spike, who had tried to kill her on numerous occasions, the latest being just a couple weeks ago.  Whoa, nellie.  Spike, sexy?  Where in the world did that come from?

      She felt a little pang in her heart.  Oz.  She'd forget for a few minutes, and then it would all come crashing down again.  He'd left her.  She shook herself.  She couldn't think about it now. Besides, he would come back.  He loved her…didn't he?  Of course he did.

      Willow busied herself by getting out a mug and warming some blood for Spike.  Still, her mind drifted, only coming back to reality when the microwave beeped at her.  She jumped, startled, and then picked up the mug and a straw and returned to the bathroom.

      "Hey, Spike," she chirped, "dinner is served!"

      Willow knelt by the side of the tub and held out the mug. Spike leaned forward and grabbed the straw with his lips, taking a tentative sip.

      Spike was surprised again.  The little chit had brought him blood without threats of physical violence, and she'd even warmed the blood to the proper temperature.

      As he sipped his blood, he glanced up at her face, and caught her in the act.  Well, well.  The little witch was checking him out. He stopped drinking, and she looked up at his face…his smirking face.

      "Like what you see, Red?"

      He watched the blush spread through her creamy skin.

      "S-Spike!" she sputtered, trying to look at anything but him.

      "Don't get your knickers in a twist, luv.  It's just the price I have to pay for being such a handsome bloke.  You birds just can't help yourselves," he preened.

      Willow smiled reluctantly; she couldn't help it.  The smile faded all too quickly, though.

      It came out of his mouth before he could stop himself, "You alright then, Red?"  He tilted his chin down, trying to see her eyes.

      She looked at him then, really looked at him.  Her green eyes flashed with emotion; surprise at his question, and then pain, despair.  She opened her mouth to say something when she heard the front door slam.  The spell was broken, and she looked towards the door as Buffy came into the bathroom.

      "Ya finished giving fangless room service, yet?"

      Willow's face turned up to look at her friend, "Yeah, I think so."  She turned back to Spike.  "Do you need anything else, Spike?"

      Buffy cut Spike off before he could even say anything, "No, he doesn't, Will!  Come on, you know I need help with that essay. You promised," Buffy pouted, and then grabbed Willow up off the floor and steered her out of the room.

      Spike took an unnecessary breath and sighed in frustration, leaning back onto the throw pillow.  Buffy walked back into the bathroom, narrowed her eyes and stalked forward.  She yanked the pillow out from behind Spike's head and smiled at the resounding thunk of his head hitting the porcelain.

      "Oi!"

      She turned, and walked back out without looking at him, a satisfied look on her face.

      "Bitch."

      "I heard that!" Buffy yelled from the other room.

      Spike scooted up and leaned his head against the cool tile of the bathroom wall.  The little witch was obviously going through a rough time.  Her friends didn't seem to see it.  Or they just didn't give a tinker's damn.  He thought back to Thanksgiving.  Whenever Red had mentioned Dogboy's name, one of the others would roll their eyes… or change the subject.

      What the hell was he thinking?  He was the Big Bad.  He was evil; why should he give a rat's arse about the bint's feelings?  He should revel in her pain and twist the knife deeper.  He sighed again.  Couldn't help it.  Pain recognized pain.

************

      The next day, Willow sat at the couch listening to Buffy taunt Spike in Giles' bathroom.  Her lips twitched, a slight smile forming as she listened to their banter.  Spike.  She couldn't help feeling kinda sorry for him.  Drusilla dumped him.  Again.  He'd been captured, experimented on, and was now chained in his enemy's bathroom, "drinking pig's blood out of a novelty mug."

      Since Buffy was `studying', she'd been the one to feed him yesterday.  She had to admit, he was hot.  Even in her fragile emotional state she had noticed.  He'd teased her, trying to be nice.  He hurt.  She knew because she hurt.  Pain recognized pain, she thought.  The pain, sharp and sudden, radiated through her.  She missed Oz.

      Giles walked into the living room.  He looked at Willow, "If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand."

      Willow looked up from the books in her lap.  "What about a truth spell? I'm not positive it would work on a vampire, but we could try. Make him fess up?"

      Giles came around and sank into the armchair.  "A truth spell, of course. Why didn't I think of that?"

      "'Cause you had your hands full with the undead English Patient?" she raised her eyebrows, speaking in a perky manner to camouflage the pain she was in.  She handed Giles the book she had been looking at before she was distracted by the bathroom discourse.

      Giles gave Willow a soft smile, "Yes… We'll have a go."

      Willow got up from the couch and gathered her books.  "Looks pretty simple. I'll stop by the magic shop tomorrow."

      "Excellent."

      "Alright. I'll be back in the morning with donuts and motherwort," Willow smiled and nodded at Giles.  She called out so Buffy could hear her, "Bye, Buffy! I'll see you at home."

      Buffy's reply filtered in from the bathroom, "Bye!"

      Giles got up and walked to the door, holding it for Willow and replied, "Great. Thank you, Willow."

Willow gave Giles a small shy smile.  It didn't reach her eyes. Giles didn't notice, just closed the door and walked back into the bathroom.

      Giles leaned against the doorway, cleaning his glasses, "Um, Willow may have had a very helpful idea. She seems to be coping better with Oz's departure, don't you think?" he asked, with a touch of hope and relief in his tone.

      Buffy nodded as she held the mug of blood for Spike, "She still has a way to go, but yeah ... I think she's dealing."

      Spike stopped sucking on the straw with a look of distaste. Pig's blood.  Bloody disgusting.  He looked up, an incredulous look on his face, "What, are you people blind? She's hangin' on by a thread."

      Buffy stood, taking the mug with her.  "Shut up, Spike.  I'm her best friend.  I should know how Willow's feeling," she said, with more than a touch of irritation.

      "Right, Slayer, you should.  I'm sure you've removed your bleached head from your arse long enough to observe Red's fragile emotional state."

      Giles rolled his eyes and made a hasty retreat.  He needed a Scotch.  The conversation continued on behind him.

      "Why the hell do you care, anyway?  And, hey!  Who are you to discuss hair color, anyway?  At least mine isn't something you'd see on the Discovery Channel!"

      "Right then.  Don't care.  Piss off."

      Buffy snorted and stormed out, slamming the door behind her. Spike tuned out the muffled complaining that filtered through the walls as Slutty verbally assaulted the Watcher.  He thought about Red.  That night in the dorm room.  He banged his head against the tile, twisting the chains trying to find a more comfortable position, finally giving up.  Bloody fucking soldier boys.

      He'd gone to the dorm for revenge.  He hadn't gotten what he expected.  Big, sad green eyes looking up at him.  Soft, warm body underneath him.  And bloody hell, her scent.  The same scent he remembered from when he had kidnapped her last year.  He did like that fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath.  Reminded him of cotton candy; so sweet when you bit into it…

      Poor chit.  Dogboy leaving after cheating on her.  Just like Dru.  He shook himself.  I'm the Big Bad, he thought.  Why in the hell should I be thinking about some silly little redheaded bint, with bad taste in clothes, and bad taste in men, and big green eyes, and soft hair, and full ripe breasts, and scent like…  Bloody hell. His cock twitched again; he couldn't help himself.

************

      Willow clutched at her bedcovers.  She had gone to Oz's dorm room, only to find it empty.  He had sent for all of his possessions.  He was gone, really gone.  Without her.  Without telling her.  Goddess, what was wrong with her?  Why didn't he want her, love her?  Her heart felt like a big bruise; black and blue all over.

      Her breath hitched as she cried, "Devon said that he sent for his stuff. I guess that means he's planning on settling down somewhere…else. Not here."

      Buffy looked over at her as she sat on her bed, "I guess so…"

      Tears rolled down Willow's face, her voice choked with emotion, "I feel like I've been split down the center and half of me is lost."

      Buffy tried to give her comfort, "I know. It feels like that now…" It sounded lame, even to her.

      Willow's face was contorted in pain.  She felt like there was a thirty-pound weight on her chest.  Every breath was an effort.  Her throat tightened as she forced out the words, "Oz is gone."

      Buffy looked down at her shoes, not knowing what to say to make her friend feel better.  Realizing that there really was nothing she *could* say.

~Part: 2~

Spike strained against his bonds, desperately trying to reach the small television as it taunted him, just beyond his reach.

      He yelled, "Come on, now! It's telly time!"

      Giles tapped his foot in irritation, bloody answering machine.  He listened to the message.

      "This is Buffy and Willow. We're not in right now, so please leave a message."

      Giles tried to speak in a patient tone of voice, "Oh, uh, Willow… It's Giles. Um… I thought you were bringing the ingredients for that spell? I really have to..."

      Spike yelled again, interrupting Giles, ""Passions" is on! Timmy's down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it, I'll..."

      Giles broke in, stopping Spike mid-rant.  "You'll do what? Lick me to death?" he yelled.  He returned to the phone, "Look, uh… Willow… I think we ought to try the spell. Among other things, I'd like to shower sometime today," irritation crept into his voice, "alone."

      Spike relaxed slightly, as Giles stalked in and turned on the TV with a glare, then stalked out.  As the theme music for "Passions" started, he thought, I wonder how the little witch is doing?

************

      The Scoobies, minus one, sat around a table at the Bronze. Huddled together, they talked about the newest development.

      Xander leaned forward, his face a mask of sympathy, "Geez, you mean Oz just sent for his stuff and didn't even call her? That's pretty harsh."

      Anya, speaking in her crisp precise manner, said, "I only wish I had my powers back. I'd liquefy his entrails for her."

      Xander reached over, his hand covering his girlfriend's, "That's sweet."  When did liquefied entrails start to equal sweet?  He mentally shook himself.  "God, poor Will. No wonder she's," he stopped, stupefied, as he looked over and saw Willow on the dance floor.  She was dancing, following no particular rhythm, with people she didn't even know.  He finished his sentence, "...having a wonderful time."

      Buffy's eyebrows raised, "Wow. Way to re-bound."

      "I believe that's the dance of a brave little toaster," Xander replied with a nod of his head.

      Willow looked up and saw them.  She waved at her dancing partner before she turned and bounced over to the table, radiating perkiness and cheer.

      "Hey, guys! C'mon! This music's great!" she exclaimed with great enthusiasm.

      Xander replied, a little surprised, "It's nice to see you brought your boogie shoes tonight, Will."

      "Yeah.  I-I know I've been sort of a party-poop lately, so I said to myself, Self, I said, It's time to shake and shimmy it off!" Denial is a great place to vacation, she thought to herself.

      Buffy nodded, agreeing, "Sounds like a good policy."

      Willow nodded back, her speech slurring ever so slightly, "Yeah! And it works, too. You know, I figure, in the grand scheme of things, we're all just..." A beer bottle fell out from her jacket mid-sentence.  It rolled across the floor; its contents foaming out into a puddle.  Willow cast a guilty, sidelong glance at Buffy.  Uh oh.  Caught.  Damned Jewish guilt.

      "Drunk?" Buffy replied, rather disapprovingly, pursing her lips.

      Willow laughed as she picked up the bottle, trying to cover up her obvious discomfort, "Drunk… I mean; that's such a-a strong word. Kind of a guttural Anglo-Saxon word. Drunk."

      Xander shook his head slightly, "Will, not loving the drowning of the sorrows."

      Willow frowned, "Not drowning ...wading. A-a-and... See?" She pointed to the beer bottle, "Light. No big," and shrugged, trying to look innocent.  Please, please, just leave me alone.  She wracked her alcohol-addled brain for something to say to make them leave her alone.

      Buffy replied, incredulously, "No big? Anyone remember when Buffy had the fun beer-fest and went one-million years B.C.?"

      "Sadly, without the fuzzy bikini," Xander pointed out, helpfully.

      Anya said, with a touch of irritation that promised a cutting- off of orgasms, or perhaps a body part or two, "Off topic, Xander."

      "Right. Topic now."  Xander got up off the stool and walked towards Willow.  He talked to her like he was trying to talk a jumper down off of a ledge, "Will, how about you give me that beer?"  He reached for the bottle.

      Willow jerked the bottle away from her friend. "No! Why should I? I've got pain, here, big-time, legitimate pain," her voice shook with anger and heartache.

      Xander, trying for what he thought was a soothing tone, said, "We all have pain, Will."

      Willow's eyes narrowed.  How could he be so insensitive and unfeeling?  He was supposed to be her best friend.  Willow lashed out; if she hurt, then by gum, he would too. "Oh, like what?  "Oh, poor me… I live in a basement." Yeah, that's dire."

      Xander, obviously offended at her callous remarks, shook his head and walked back to his seat at the table. Buffy stood up, trying to take control of the situation, and grabbed Willow's arm.

      "Okay, you know what? That's it. I'm taking you home," she said, trying to be the voice of reason and authority.

      Willow pulled her arm away, looking at Buffy with resentment, "No, I don't want to."

      Buffy looked at her pointedly, "Well, you'll thank me when you still have a friend in the morning."

      Willow's anger melted, leaving only anguish and sorrow, "I just can't stand feeling this way. I want it to be over."

      Buffy's facial expression softened.  She spoke to Willow in a quiet, soothing voice, "It will. I promise. But it's gonna take time."

      Willow responded, her voice petulant and pain-filled, "Well, that's not good enough."

      Buffy sighed, "I know. It's just how it is. You have to go through the pain."

      "Well, isn't there someway I can just make it go away? Just `cause I say so? Can't I just make it go `poof'?" she asked, pleadingly.

      Buffy looked at her friend, sympathy written all over her face.  She put her arm around Willow's shoulders and guided her home.  They walked back to the dorms in silence; the only sound was the click of Buffy's heels against the pavement.

************

      Willow crept out of bed as Buffy slept.  She walked over to her trunk, casting glances at her roommate to make sure she was asleep.  There had to be a solution.  A way to stop the pain.  It wouldn't stop; it just kept growing and growing, smothering her, choking her. Why wouldn't it stop?

      Well, if it wouldn't stop, she'd make it stop.  She was a witch wasn't she…sort of?  True, she still couldn't change Amy back, but she seemed happy, didn't she?  She had her wheel, and her rat kibble, and she got little bits of leftover Cheetos `n stuff…and way to babble right off topic.

      She shook her head, and regretted it, as her hangover reared its ugly head.  Her mouth felt and tasted like she'd been sucking on an old sweat sock; one of Xander's from gym class.  She took a deep, cleansing breath, and moved the rest of her stuff into the bathroom.

      Listening for any movement, and hearing none, she began to place the red candles in a circle.  She lit them one by one, and sat down in the middle.  She opened a book and placed it in her lap, surrounded by the rest of the ingredients for the spell.

      She began to intone quietly, but with authority in her voice, "Harken all ye elements, I summon thee now."  She dropped the herbs into the bowl in front of her.  "Control the outside, control within. Land and sea, fire and wind. Out of my passions, a web be spun. From this eve forth, my will be done. So mote it be."

      Willow poured the final ingredient from the goblet into the bowl.  She felt a wave of power go through her, and her eyes widened at the sensation as all of the flames from the candles raised high in the air.  It worked!  It must have.  She said a quick prayer of thanks, then extinguished the candles and gathered everything up.

      Willow crept back into the dorm room, trying to be as quiet as possible.  She put everything back into the trunk.  It had taken a couple of trips back and forth from the bathroom.  Goddess, it didn't seem like this much when she took it in!  She looked around, making sure she didn't leave any evidence.  Satisfied, she crept back into bed.

      She stared at the ceiling, a flicker of hope running through her.  When she woke up, she would get rid of the pain.  Ugh, and the hangover, too.  As she fell asleep, she had a passing thought that she should have taken some aspirin.

************

      When Buffy woke up, she looked over at Willow sleeping. Relief flooded through her, relief that she didn't have to deal with her, and then guilt for feeling that way.  She sighed and got out of bed.  She wished Willow would just get over it already.

      Willow waited till she heard Buffy leave for class, and jumped out of bed.  She didn't feel any different.  Oh, well, I'll just have to try something, she thought.

      She picked up a hand mirror and looked into it, saying, "It is my will that my heart be healed."  Nothing happened.  "Now," she said. She sighed and put down the mirror.  Nothing.  Well, I'll just have to try again.

      She picked up a spellbook, "I will that this book speak its words to me."  Nada.  Zip.  Heavy sigh.  Picking up a bent Q-tip she said, "I will that this Q-Tip gets…unbendy?"

Willow's disappointment-filled reverie was interrupted by a knock at the door.  Too depressed to care, she called out an invite from the bed, "Come in."  After all, it was daylight.

      Giles walked in, a worried expression on his face.

      "Giles, what are you doing here?"

      Giles replied, with a bit of awkwardness, "I'm a bit concerned about you, actually."

      Willow panicked a little, "Did Buffy tell you about the beer, 'cause…"

      Giles looked up, "Uh, Buffy didn't tell me anything,"

      Willow's face displayed its relief, "Oh, well…forget the beer part, then."

      Giles replied, "Happily," wanting to get to the reason for his visit. "I came because we had an appointment the other day…"

      Willow winced, "Oh, right, right. The truth spell."

      "Yes, um…Willow… I know that you're going through a very difficult time, but shirking your responsibilities..."

      Willow cut in, as she stood up, "But I didn't shirk. I did the research, and I picked up the motherwort. I just forgot the doing the spell part."  She held the paper bag of motherwort out to Giles.

      Giles nodded at her, "Well, that isn't like you at all."

      "I know. I-I've been off. I-I even tried to do a spell last night. To have my will done? I was hoping it would make me feel better," Willow plopped down on her bed, dejected. "But it just went ka-blooey," she rolled her eyes and waved her hands.  Ya had to wave your hands when you said ka-blooey.  It's just the way it's done.

      Giles said, with a little alarm, "A spell? I don't think it's wise for you to be doing that alone right now. Your energy's too unfocused."

      "Well, that's not true! I said I was off, not incompetent!" Willow was ticked off.  What, didn't he ever screw up?

      "I only meant that you're grieving, and it might be wise if you took a break from doing spells without supervision," he stated in a placating tone.

      Okay, pissed now.  "So I get punished `cause I'm in pain?"

      "It's not punishment. I'm only saying this because I..."

      Willow got up and began pacing.  How dare he?  He couldn't understand.  She began to speak, her voice rising steadily as she continued, "Oh, you care. Yeah. Everybody cares. Nobody wants to be inconvenienced," she drew out the word, narrowing her eyes.  "You all want me to take the time and go through the pain, as long as you don't have to hear about it anymore."

      "No, that's not fair."

      "Isn't it? `Cause I'm doing the best I can and it doesn't seem to be enough for you guys," she felt the anger and disappointment roll through her.

      "And I see how you could feel that way, I do..."

      Willow cut him off, venom in her tone, "No, you don't. You say that you do, but you don't see *anything*!"  Her eyes flashed blue.

      Giles blinked.  Hard.  He took off his glasses, and rubbed his eyes.  Why was the room blurry, all of a sudden?  "Um… Oh, sorry… Um, sorry. P-perhaps I'd better be going. Let's um, let's talk about this later."

      Willow harrumphed.

      Giles left the room, dazed.  He bumped into a student and exclaimed, surprised, "Oh! I'm sorry…so sorry." He took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes again, and put them back on.

************

      Giles walked around his living room holding a bundle of burning sage as he tried to read from the book in his hands.  Spike looked up from his place on the floor.  Still chained; but a hell of a lot better than that thrice-damned tub.  The Watcher rubbed his eyes and tried to focus on the words.

      "Elobe, enemy, be now quiet," he blinked repeatedly.

      Spike looked at him, wary.  What the hell was wrong with `im?  "You know, not too keen about this spell stuff. Tends to be a bit unpredictable."

      "Yes, well, you might have thought about that sooner. Um," he looked down at the book, trying to find his spot.  Oh, there it is.  "Let your deceitful tongue be…" Bloody hell, what was that word? He squinted, "Be… Uh… Let no… Untruths… Be spoken…"

      Giles stopped abruptly, frustrated in the extreme.  He pulled out a handkerchief and began to clean his glasses furiously.

      Spike watched the man clean his glasses with some caution. He glanced down and saw the key to his chains by Giles' feet. He slowly reached for it with his boot.  He looked up to see if the Watcher noticed.  Time for a little more distraction.

      "Hey, what's that all about?"

      "Hmm? Oh, nothing. I just got ash in my eye."

      "Well, I won't have you doin' mojo on me if you can't read properly. You might turn me into a stink beetle or what all," Spike said with indignation.

      "It would be a generous ending for you, Spike," he replied with more than a little irritation.  He turned away from Spike.

      Spike grabbed the key and unlocked the chains. He jumped up and pushed Giles aside, running out of the door and into the night.

~Part: 3~

Willow absently played with Amy on her bed.  She sighed, "I mean, I'm going through something. I just don't see why he was getting down on me."

      Buffy replied, resigned to her fate as comfort-giver, "Giles just worries. Spells can be dangerous. It doesn't mean he thinks you're a bad witch."

      Willow pouted, "I am a bad witch."

      Buffy shook her head, "No, you're a good witch."

      "I'm not kidding anyone. If I had any real power, I could have made Oz stay with me," she said, dejectedly.

      "Will, you wouldn't have wanted him to have stayed..."

      Willow cut Buffy off, "And I didn't have the guts to do the spell on Veruca, and my "I will it so" spell went nowhere. The only real witch here is fuzzy little Amy."  She tickled the rat's chin with her fingertip, and turned away to look at Buffy.

      "I think you're being too hard on yourself," Buffy looked down and frowned.  Was that a scuff on her boot?  Damn, she just bought those.

      "She's got access to powers I can't even invoke. I mean, first she's a perfectly normal girl…" Behind her, the rat morphs into Amy, naked, crouched on Willow's bed.  Amy looked up and smiled in wonderment.  Willow shrugged, "Then poof ... she's a rat."  Amy shrank back into her rat form.  "I could never do something like that," Willow said in a self-pitying tone.

      Willow frowned, thinking aloud, "Ya know what I need? Someone to love me.  I mean really, really love me.  Take Spike for instance…"

Buffy looked up, "Yes, take him.  Preferably somewhere far, far away."

Willow rolled her eyes, "That's not what I meant!  He loved Dru for a hundred years.  And, and he's faithful too."  She looked down and picked at a loose thread on her bedspread.

"Wouldn't see him off cheating with some skanky she-wolf, or leaving without saying goodbye.  Yeah, I want someone to love me, like Spike.  T-to really see *me*, want me, love me."

"Yeah, Will.  Spike is just the guy for you.  Right," Buffy rolled her eyes.

Willow looked up and retorted, "I didn't say Spike per se, just someone…kinda like Spike."

Buffy snorted, "Kinda like Spike?  Not a lot of Spike-a-likes out there.  Thank God."

Willow sighed again, "Yeah, he's kind of an original."   She resumed picking at the thread.  Spike.  She thought about that day in the bathroom.  "Spike's love.  I'd like to know what it's like to have love like that," she breathed quietly to herself.

Buffy didn't hear the last comment, nor did she see Willow's eyes flash blue.  She was too busy desperately trying to come up with an excuse to extract herself from this pity party.  The phone rang and Buffy leapt to answer it.

"Hello?  Huh.  Okay, I'll be right there!"  Thank God, an excuse to escape!  She hung up the phone and turned to Willow, "Hey!  Guess what?  Speak of the devil, er, vamp.  Spike's escaped.  Gotta go get him."  Buffy busied herself by putting on her jacket and grabbing her bag.

      Willow looked up, startled, "A-and you're going? Now?"  She hated the way her voice sounded…so needy.

      "Sorry...duty thing," Buffy shrugged.

      "Well, I mean, what's the rush? Spike can't hurt anyone, right?  And I figured since I'm kinda grievey, we could, uh...you know, have a girl's night. We could eat sundaes and watch Steel Magnolias and you can tell me how, at least I don't have diabetes." Her eyes pleaded with Buffy.

      "Will, I can't hang out with you until I get Spike back to Giles, you know that. Okay?  I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise."

      "I don't see the big. He's probably just standing out there. You could find him in two seconds," Willow said, dolefully, her eyes once again glowing blue.

************

      Spike walked around Sunnydale, reveling in his freedom.  What to do, what to do?  Suddenly, it came to him.  The little witch!  She was in so much pain; she needed him.  He felt an overwhelming need to find her and coddle her.  Protect her.  Keep her close.  Love her. He smiled.  Red, he had to get to his Red.  He began to walk with purpose, his duster billowing behind him.

      Vertigo hit him.  Whoa, what the hell was that?  He looked around.  And just where the fuck is this?

      Buffy walked toward him, "Wow. Thought that was gonna take longer."

      Spike spun around, trying to get his bearings, "Me too. Musta got turned around somehow."  Oh well, dorms were…that way.  Wait!  He looked around again, "Hang, hang on, this, this is it!   Wait.  No. Yes!"

      Buffy said, her tone flat, "What are you talking about?"

      He looked at her like she had two heads, "The lab! Commando lab. The door was right here where I escaped."  He gestured down at the grass, frustrated.  There was nothing there!

      Buffy looked at him, irritated, "I don't think so."

      Spike gave a guttural groan and fell to his knees, ripping and tearing at the ground. He snarled, "Open up! I'm gonna kill you!"

      Buffy sighed.  This was getting old.  She remarked impatiently, "Spike, there's nothing there."

      Spike ignored her and kept on, "Let me in!"  He rested back on his heels.  "Fix me," he said dejectedly.

      "Okay, drop the act," Buffy reached down and grabbed his arm.  Spike shook her off.

      "Get off!"  Bloody, stupid bint!  Why couldn't he make her understand?  This was important. This and Willow.  He had to get to Willow.  She needed him!

      "Okay, that's it... I'm gonna gag you," Buffy grabbed him again.

      Spike pulled back and punched her, square in the nose, and then yelled in pain, grabbing his head with both hands.  Buffy responded by punching him in the nose, and Spike's hands jumped from his head to his face and he yelled again.  Fucking bitch.

************         Giles leaned back as he squeezed the drops into his eyes.  He heard the door open and slam shut.  He grabbed the sides of the sink, blinking, desperate to clear the fog from his eyes.

      Buffy pushed a tied-up Spike towards a chair.

      Spike jerked away from her, "Hey! Watch it!"

      Buffy glowered at him threateningly, "One more word out of you, and I swear…"

      "Swear, what? You're not gonna do anything to me. You don't got the stones," he spat at her, his nostrils flaring.

      Buffy got up in his face and ground out, "Oh, I got the stones. I got a whole bunch of...stones."

      "Yeah? You're all talk."

      Buffy called out, "GILES! I accidentally killed Spike. That's okay, right?"

      Giles, not really paying any attention, called back, "Uh…uh… um… Just a minute."

      Spike sneered at her, "I get this spell reversed, they'll be finding your body for weeks."

      Buffy's jaw clenched, "Oh, make a move...please. I'm dying for a good slay."  She narrowed her eyes as she glared at Spike, and shoved him into a chair so hard that he nearly fell backwards. Stomping over to the couch she threw herself down, grabbed a magazine, and began to page through it, determined to calm down and absorb the wisdom of Cosmopolitan.

      Spike looked up at the ceiling, willing himself to calm down so he could think.  He had to get out of here; he needed to be with Willow!  She needed him.  Needed him to ease her pain and comfort her.  He growled.  He'd make her forget *all* about Dogboy.

************

            Willow paced back and forth in Xander's basement, while he sat passively on the bed, watching her pace.

      "I mean; I'm going through something. You'd think every once in awhile Buffy would make best friends a priority."  How many times had she listened to her go on, and on, and on about Angel?

      Xander tried to calm her down, "You know, Will, it's not like she could just let Spike go."

      "Spike's more important than me. I get it."

      Xander looked at Willow, silently pleading with her to be reasonable, "Buffy's gotta find out what's up with those commandos. Right now, she needs Spike."

      Willow stopped her pacing and turned away from Xander, "I know she has her slayer duties, it's just, well, why can't our friendship be the most important thing?  Even if it's just for tonight…" Willow's eyes glowed again.

************

      Giles walked out of the bathroom, "If the two of you could remain civil long enough to..." He stopped in his tracks, stunned. Good God.  What was she doing?

      Buffy was a whirlwind, going back and forth between the kitchen cupboards.  "Chocolate chips, chocolate chips, where *are* they?" she exclaimed in consternation.  There was flour everywhere. And no Spike.  He winced as her shoes made a disturbing crunching noise as she flitted back and forth.         "Buffy, what are you doing?!  And where is Spike, for God's sake!"

      Buffy stopped and looked at him, "Why, I'm making Willow's favorite cookies, of course!  Double chocolate chip.  No nuts."  Her eyes misted over with unshed tears, "She's my best friend and she's in so much pain!  Our friendship is the most important thing to me! I'd do anything to make her feel better, Giles!"

      "Alright, but where's Spike?"  Giles looked on, stunned.

      Buffy resumed ransacking the cupboards, "Oh.  Him.  I sent him out to get Willow a mochacchino.  She needs one.  Caffeine always makes for a perky Willow!  Besides, I have to stay here for cookie makeage!  And, hey!" she turned and faced Giles; desperation etched across her face, and grabbed him by the collar, yanking him forward. "Please, tell me you have chocolate chips!  You do, don't you?!"  She shook him slightly.

************

      Spike was a vamp on a mission.  To say he was surprised was an understatement.  He shook his head.  Slutty had jumped up, untied him, and sent him on his merry way.  What the bleedin' hell was a mochacchino, anyway?  His princess deserved far better than that.  He was goin' to sweep her off of her feet, he was!  He stalked off towards the dorms.

************

      Back in Xander's basement, Willow threw herself down on the edge of Xander's bed.  "It's just not fair," she said, whining just a little.

      Xander was weary; he had to get through to her.  He wanted sex, and he couldn't have sex with Anya while Willow was in the room.  Well, Anya might, but he wouldn't.

      "Willow, I know it's hard to see it right now, but everything you're feeling is because of you and Oz. Not because of Buffy and me or anybody. But eventually you'll meet somebody else, and it'll be better," he spread his hands as though this was the most reasonable thing in the world.

      Willow looked at him out of the corner of her eye, "Yeah, `cause most relationships are great and trouble-free. I don't think so. I think we're all doomed to badness."

      "We're not doomed."

      "Oh, yeah? Let's-let's look at your bio."

      Xander realized that Willow had just turned her wrath on him.  Oh, crap.  He shoulders slumped at the onslaught.

      Willow continued her rant, "Insect Lady, Mummy Girl, Anya. You're a demon magnet!"

      Xander, looking at the floor, didn't notice Willow's eyes change color.  "I was just trying to help."

************

      Giles leaned forward, glad that Buffy was distracted so she wouldn't see what he was doing.  He spoke into the phone, "Willow, it's-it's me. Something's happened. I need your help. I can't see very well. Everything's blurred."  He grabbed his glass of scotch and continued, "I'm certain it's a spell of some kind, because, well, it seems something else is going wrong…" He looked towards the kitchen, or what used to a kitchen, and grimaced.  Now it was ground zero.  "Horribly wrong."  He hung up.

      "What else does Willow like?  Oooo, I know!  Pizza!"

      Giles almost collapsed in relief, "I have the number of the pizza place right next to the phone, Buffy."

      Buffy bounced over, leaving a trail of flour in her wake, and grabbed the phone.  And stopped.  She cocked her head at Giles, "But that won't show her how much I care.  Hey, I can make it from scratch!"  She flounced back into the kitchen.

      Giles made his way carefully around the living room; glass of scotch clutched firmly in his hand, and sat on the couch.  "Please, stop," he whimpered.

      Buffy came back into the living room, excited.  "Giles!  Did you see the cookie I made Will?"

      Giles glanced over at the odd shape on the cookie sheet, "Thankfully, not very well."

      "It's a rat, like Amy!"

      "Oh, goody," Giles remarked, oozing sarcasm.  He leaned back and rubbed his eyes.

      Buffy put the big rat-shaped double chocolate chip cookie, no nuts, down and sat next to Giles.  "I'm not crazy, and I know that you probably won't approve, but I think of you as my father, and…"

      Giles cut in, touched by what Buffy had said, "Oh, Buffy! That's, that's so…  Wait a minute, what wouldn't I approve of?"

      Buffy took a big breath, "I think I should give up slaying and just take care of Willow for awhile.  She needs me."

      "Oh!  For God's sake!  This is nonsense.  Something is making you act this way. Don't you realize what you're doing?"

      Buffy's face beamed with happiness, "Living a dream.  How many people are lucky enough to be able to take care of one of the most important people in the whole world?!"

      Scotch, Giles thought, must have more scotch.  He reached for his glass, and knocked it on the floor.

      Buffy looked at Giles with concern, "Giles are you okay?"

      "I rather think not. I seem to be rather, rather…blind. Completely, in fact."

      "What? How could this happen?"  She waved her hand in front of his face.

      "A spell, I believe."

      "Well, we'll fix it. Don't worry."  Buffy turned around, "I just gotta make this pizza first, okay?"

      Giles got up and felt his way toward his liquor cabinet, "That's alright. I have more scotch." ************

      Willow walked towards her dorm room.  She felt completely abandoned.  Oz was gone, Giles was pissed at her and thought she was incompetent, Buffy didn't care, and Xander was tired of dealing with her.  No one wanted her, not even her parents.  Her eyes began to tear up again.  She scrubbed the tears away from her cheeks with her hands.  Goddess, she was tired of feeling like this.

      She reached the door to her room and pulled out her key.  As she tried to put the key in the lock, the door opened.  Willow stepped back, startled.  There was someone, or *something* in her room.  She cautiously peeked into the room, her eyes widening at the sight.

      The room was bathed in candlelight and soft music was playing.  "Spike!  What are you doing here?"  She was stunned.

      "Well, pet, you were so kind to me, I thought I'd return the favor," he spoke in a soothing tone, not wanting to startle her.

      "W-what do you mean?"

      "I know how you're feeling, luv.  I've been there, you know."

      "Drusilla," she breathed, nodding.  Yes, he did understand. And what was the world coming to when the only person who treated her with understanding was a vampire who'd tried to kill her in this very room.  Only on the hellmouth, she thought.

      "Hey, pet, why don't you sit down and relax?  Do you need to talk?  I'm a pretty good listener."  He steered Willow to the bed and she sat on the end.  He dropped down next to her and waited.  He didn't have to wait long.

      "Oh, Spike, you don't really want to hear about my troubles, do you?"  Who would?  Certainly none of her so-called friends.

      Spike reached out slowly, and gently clasped her tiny hand in his.  That was all it took, and the floodgates opened.  He drew Willow to him and pulled her onto his lap.  He stroked her hair and rocked her as she cried.

      Willow tried to talk though her tears, "Why wasn't I enough, Spike?  What's wrong with me?  Why can't anyone care about me, love me?"

      Willow had her head buried in Spike's chest, so she couldn't see the hard look that came into his eyes at her declaration.  Bloody fucking imbeciles, the lot of `em.  None of them were good enough for his princess.  They didn't deserve her.

      "Shh, luv.  Don't think that way.  Dogboy was an idiot for leaving a ripe, juicy peach like yourself.  You deserve better. Someone who'll treat you like a princess, pet."  He kissed the top of her head, breathing in that wonderful scent that was Willow.

      Willow pulled away slightly and looked up into his face, eyes wide in wonder.  She looked into his blue, blue eyes.  He meant it; he really, really meant it.

      Spike looked into her beautiful, teary green eyes, and gently reached up to stroke her soft, warm cheek with the back of his hand.  "It'll be alright Red, I promise."

      "Thank you, Spike," she gave him a shaky smile and moved to get off his lap.

      He pulled her back to him, gently. "Please, Red.  Willow.  I…"

      She stopped.  He had said her name.  She cocked her head and reached up, stroking his face as he had done for her, "What is it? You can tell me."

      He leaned into her touch, closing his eyes to revel in the feel of her gentle hand against his face.  "Willow," he breathed, reverently, "let me…please."

      "Let you what, Spike?"

      He looked deep into her eyes and took her face in his hands, "Let me help heal you, sweet.  Let me give you comfort and take away the pain, if only for a little while?"

      Willow was on a roller coaster of emotion.  She couldn't believe what Spike was offering her.  So much pain and loss and sadness.  She wanted it to stop.  If only for a little while.

      "Yes.  Please, Spike."

      Spike's face spread into a happy, delighted smile.  It lit up his entire face, and Willow couldn't help but smile back.  Spike bent his head and touched his cool lips to Willow's.  Gently, sweetly, letting Willow take control.

      The first kisses were tentative and tender, but quickly became deeper.  Willow felt Spike's tongue questing at her lips and granted him access, and *wow*!  She felt the tingle right down to her purple-painted toenails.

      Spike was in heaven; he'd never experienced anything like this.  Such warmth, such sweetness.  He wrapped his arms around his beautiful Red, and held her in a loving embrace.  He pulled back slightly so she could breathe.

      He looked at her face, flushed from tears and passion, "So beautiful.  So bloody beautiful."

      Willow responded by crushing her lips to his, desperate, tongues exploring, demanding.  Her hands went to his shoulders and she pushed the duster down.

      Spike let go of her just long enough to shake the duster off his arms.  He lay down on the bed and pulled her on top of him.

~Part: 4~

Buffy walked down the street.  She’d only stopped at the magic shop ‘cause Willow had mentioned that she really liked that athame, but what the heck, Giles had said he needed something too.

               Buffy stopped suddenly, in the middle of the street.  Staring at the store window displaying brightly colored skirts and silky blouses.  She walked towards the window, mesmerized, not noticing Riley walking up behind her.

               “Hey, Buffy. What's up?”

               Buffy turned to him and smiled, “Riley, look.  Aren't they pretty?  Wouldn’t they look beautiful on Willow?”

               “Um, yeah, they're nice. A little dressy, maybe, for school, but,” he stopped.  Why did she have that dreamy look on her face?

   “Riley…”

               “Buffy?”

               Buffy looked at him like she was going to give him really, really bad news, “I really like you. I hope you know that you mean a lot to me, and if things were different...”

               “Different than what?”

               She reached out and took his hand, looking at him earnestly, “I want you to promise me that we can always be friends.”

               Riley looked at her, nonplussed, “Uh, Buff, whatcha talking about?”

               “Willow!  I realized today that she is the most important person in the world to me, and I plan to commit my life to making her happy!  Can you believe it?!” she exclaimed with excitement.

               Riley’s eyes went wide.  Willow?  He gulped audibly, “I don't think "no" is a strong enough word.”

               “I know! It's crazy! I mean; I’ve fought for all these years, and then… Sometimes you just look at someone, and you know, ya know?”

               “No…”

               Buffy tilted her head as though she was recalling the past, “I think maybe I couldn't admit how I really felt about her.”

               “Uh, can we start again?”

               “You like Willow.  I know you do, everyone does.  She’s so pretty and smart and talented…”

               Riley started to back away, “I just need to clear a few things up…”

               “I love her so much!”

               Riley’s eyes went wide.  He was completely befuddled.  He thought that Buffy kinda liked him.  How could he be so…wrong?  “Okay, it’s late.  And I’m…I’m just very tired now.  So, I'm just gonna go far away and be…away.”

               Buffy looked at him, puzzled at his reaction, “But...” She moved towards him.

               Riley put out his hands, “No, stay.”

   Buffy watched him walk off and pouted, “You're ruining my happy day.”

************

               Spike removed her clothes slowly, savoring every inch of smooth warm flesh that he revealed.  He was going to worship her, his princess.

               Willow had never experienced anything like this.  She’d never felt so cherished, cared for, loved.  Her hands ran up and down Spike’s back and arms, gently kneading his muscles.  She tugged at his shirt, needing to touch him, to feel his cool skin against her own.

               Spike pulled away long enough to rip his shirt off over his head, then went back to kissing his way down her throat, between her breasts.  He stopped, kissing and suckling each breast in turn until she was writhing beneath him.

               “Spike, please,” she moaned, as her hands roved over his bare chest.

               Spike licked the underside of each breast, loving the heat radiating from her.  He cupped them in his hands, plucking at her nipples.  He became more and more aroused from her breathy moans of pleasure.  His lips ghosted kisses down her stomach, his tongue dipped and swirled around her navel, tasting, teasing.

               Willow was overloaded with sensation.  She’d never needed anything this much.  Anyone, this much.  She arched up, pleading, “Please, Spike!  Please, touch me!”

               He smiled; glad he was pleasing his Red.  He moved between her legs, gently spreading them, exposing her to his hungry gaze, and began to lick her clit with little cat licks.

               Willow cried out, bucking up at the delicious feeling of Spike’s tongue at her core.  “More, please, more!” she panted.

               Spike continued his ministrations, and slid a finger into her.  His eyes rolled back in his head.  Bloody hell, she was so warm, and tight, and wet.

               He pumped his finger a few more times before adding another, while licking and nibbling her clit.  He felt his princess tense; he knew she was close.  He pressed his lips against her clit and sucked hard.  Willow arched up off of the bed, hands twisting in the bed sheets, and called his name, “Spiiike!”

               Willow panted, her breasts heaving, as she came down from her orgasm.  Spike kissed and licked his way back up her body.

               “You taste wonderful luv, like I always knew you would.”

               Willow looked at him, her face flushed with passion.  She grabbed his face and kissed him, hard, pulling him close to her body.  She felt his hardness pressing against her stomach and whimpered.  She continued to kiss him deeply, tasting herself on him, while she struggled trying to unfasten his tight black jeans.

               Spike smiled against her lips, and stood up, yanking his jeans down and off.  Willow’s eyes went wide.  No way could that fit in her.  Uh, uh.  Spike arched his scarred eyebrow at her and smiled at her obvious surprise, “Don’t worry, pet.  I promise I’ll make it good.”

               She threw caution to the wind, and rolled up onto her knees, reaching out and taking him in her hand.  Spike’s head reeled at the sensation.  Encouraged by his response, Willow leaned forward, taking his nipple in her mouth and nibbling it gently.

               It was too much; Spike grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up, crushing his lips to hers.  Where before it had been sweet and slow, now there was a sense of urgency.  Hands moved everywhere, desperate, grasping, needy.

               Spike laid her back on the bed, and climbed on top of her, supporting himself by his elbows.  Willow encouraged him by wrapping her legs around his waist, pulling him close.

               Spike couldn’t wait any longer; he placed his cock at her entrance and slid in.  Willow arched up and gasped at the intrusion.  Spike waited for her to adjust to his size; he could tell from her initial reaction that Dogboy was definitely not as big as he was.

               She pressed herself against him when she was ready.  Spike began with slow, deep thrusts, the tip of his member bumping against her cervix.  Willow’s eyes locked with Spike’s, raising their level of passion even higher.

               “Harder, Spike, harder!” Willow cried out, and Spike obliged.  God, she was so warm, so responsive.  He couldn’t believe how much he loved her, needed her.  She was perfect, abso-bloody-lutely perfect.

               Their pace became frantic.  He knew he couldn’t last much longer.  Spike, his voice husky from passion, said, “Willow, come for me, baby.”

               Willow came with a scream, digging her nails into Spike’s shoulder.  Her walls clamped down on his pulsing member, and he spilled his cool seed inside of her.  “Willow!  Baby, yes!”

               He collapsed and rolled to the side, bringing her with him, so she was draped over the side of his body, their legs intertwined.

               As Willow recovered, basking in the afterglow of the most incredible sex she’d ever had, she realized Spike was talking to her, and she began to listen.

               Spike stroked her arm gently with his fingertips, his undead heart spilling over with emotion.  He couldn’t remember ever feeling like this, not even for Dru.

               “I love you so bloody much, Red.  I promise I’ll love you and take care of you forever.  Forever and always, baby.  You, only you.  I won’t leave you; I won’t let anyone hurt you.  You’re mine.  I take care of what’s mine.”

               Willow smiled, letting his words of love wash over her.  Mmmmmm.  Nice.  Her eyes began to close in repose…then shot open.  Oh no.  Please, no, she thought.

               Spike felt Willow tense against him.  His voice was soothing, full of concern for his love, “What is it, sweetheart?  What’s wrong?”

               Willow rolled over, away from him, afraid to look at him.  Spike spooned against her, holding her close.  “What is it luv?” he repeated.

               Willow took a deep breath.  She had to know.  “Spike, um, when did you first realize you loved me?”  She took another breath and held it, dreading the answer.

               “I’ve always thought you were a nice bit of fluff, pet.  Even more so when I tried to bite you.”  He paused for a moment, as though trying to ascertain the exact moment he *knew* he loved her.  “I suppose I just realized it tonight, Red.  It just came to me…I knew we were meant to be together,” he said as he kissed her shoulder.

               Her heart sank.  He didn’t really love her, want her.  It was all a mistake; her spell had worked, just not the way she had intended.  Goddess what could she do?  She sighed, she knew she’d have to bite the bullet and go see Giles.

               Her bruised and abused heart twisted.  Just what she needed; a dollop of “I told you so” to top off her double-dip sundae of humiliation and despair.

~Part: 5~

               Xander yelled up the basement stairs, “That's okay, Mom!  We don't need anymore snacks!”  He turned and plopped himself on the edge of the hide-a-bed next to Anya.

               “I liked those fruit roll-ups,” Anya commented.

               “Shush, I thought she'd never clear out. Besides, just think of my lips as the fruit roll-ups of love.”  Xander paused and thought about it for a moment, “Okay, that was gross. I'm a little distracted.”  He sighed, poor Willow.  She is really in pain.  BAM and there it is; major guiltage.  Can you get Jewish guilt through osmosis?  He sighed again, “Willow was really upset. I shouldn't have let her go away mad.”

               Anya grabbed him and kissed him…hard.  No mere adolescent male could withstand such an attack.  Xander was no exception.  “Okaaaaay, regaining focus!”

               Anya held him tightly, hands roving to naughty places, saying, “We just got rid of your mom. Let's not bring Willow into this. It's time for just the two of us.”  She nibbled on his ear…men were soooo easy.  She pulled him down on the bed and they began to kiss.

               CRASH!  A demon burst through the side door, rushing at the couple on the bed.  Xander and Anya jumped up quickly, Xander put himself between Anya and the demon and then rushed towards it.  The demon grabbed Xander in its scaly hands and tossed him aside like a rag doll.

               Anya grabbed Xander’s Louisville Slugger and swung it at the demon’s head.  It took the bat from her easily, wrenching it from her grasp.  “Ah!” she cried, as the weapon was snatched away from her, leaving her defenseless.

               Xander got up from the floor quickly and yanked down the clothesline, wrapping it around the creature’s throat to strangle it.

               Anya cried out in fear and frustration, “No, no, it's a Pargo demon!  Drowning!  It's the only way to kill it!”  She rushed forward to help Xander drag the demon to the utility sink in the corner and shove its head under the water as it struggled to get away.

               Thank God Mom said he had to presoak those pizza sauce stains to get them out of his uniform.  Or were they bloodstains?  What-ever, Xander thought.  Thankfully, the demon stopped its struggling as it drowned.  Relief flooded through them…until the next demon burst through the window above the sink.

               Startled, Xander yelled, “What the hell is going on?!”  He grabbed Anya’s hand and pulled her out of the basement.  “The car, “ he yelled, “get in the car!”

************

               Giles lay on the couch, a towel covering his eyes.  He sighed, with more than a smidgeon of sarcasm, “So the plan is to cure my total, incapacitating blindness tomorrow.”

               Buffy replied, airily, “They were all out of tagas root at the magic shop. They'll have more tomorrow. I'm completely on top of it.”  She skipped back into the wrecked kitchen.

               “Oh, bloody wonderful.  I feel so much better,” he groused.  More scotch.  Must.  Have.  More.  Scotch.

************

               Xander and Anya threw themselves into the old Buick.  “Oh, crap!” Xander cried, looking in the rearview mirror. He froze. A huge demon with a bulbous yellow eye in the center of its forehead was resolutely walking up the driveway.

               “Xander!” Anya exclaimed with irritation.  “You’re driving a 2000 pound weapon!  USE IT!”  Xander popped the gearshift into reverse and floored it, knocking the demon into the old oak across the street.  “Ooooo.  That’s gonna leave a mark,” he quipped.

               Anya just rolled her eyes, “Go, dammit!  If we’re gonna be a target, I’d rather we were moving!”

               Xander went.  Exactly two blocks before more demons appeared.  “Where the hell are they coming from?”  Demons seemed to be coming from everywhere at once.  A demon that looked suspiciously like a Klingon threw itself at the windshield and held on.

               “AAAAH!  Get it off, Xander, get it off!” Anya screamed and pressed herself into her seat, hands searching desperately for the seatbelt.

               Xander swerved the car trying to dislodge it, exclaiming, “Dammit Anya, I’m a pizza delivery man, not a miracle worker!”  Oh, he thought, way to use a Star Trek reference.  Okay, back to the task at hand.  He swerved sharply to the right, causing the Klingon-esque demon to lose his grip and fall to the pavement.

          Xander backed up, and ran over the still-stunned demon.  He put the car in gear and drove forward, running over every demon that came close to the car.

               “An!  It’s just like Space Invaders…with a car…and demons!  Hey, that big one over there with the tentacles!  How many points do you think he’s worth?“  Xander’s face was lit up like a kid at Christmas.  He actually bounced in his seat.  He ran over a creature that looked rather like a blue version of Yoda.  “Hmmm.  Hit you with the car, I did.  I’m a very good driver, I am.”  Okay, he thought, I definitely watch too many movies when I combine a Star Wars reference with a line from Rainman.

               His reverie was interrupted by a demon with orange fur.  *Thud* “YESSSSS!  Ten points for the Xan-man!”  He held his hand up for a high-five.  He didn’t get one.  What he got was a look from Anya.  Uh oh.  Demons he could handle, but whenever Anya gave him that look, his sphincter tightened.  He gulped.

                “Just drive, Xander.  We need to get to Giles’,” she crossed her arms and faced forward.

               “O-okay, honey,” Xander relaxed a little.  Having an ex-vengeance demon for a girlfriend could give you heartburn.

************

               “Tell me again why we’re going to the Watcher’s luv?” Spike paused, cupping his hand around the tip of the cigarette as he lit it.

               Willow stopped walking, waiting for him to finish lighting the cigarette.  “Please, Spike?  Just trust me, we need to see Giles.”

               “’Course I trust you, luv,” he said with a nod, grasping her hand to hold it as they walked.

               Willow’s heart twisted.  She realized that Spike was going to be really, really angry with her.  She didn’t want to go back to being enemies.  Mind-bending sex aside, he had been kind, gentle, and understanding.  When this spell was corrected, she was going to lose the only person who had really been supportive, not to mention, she was pretty sure this was going to propel her straight to the top of the ‘people I’m going to kill slowly and painfully when I get this bloody chip out of my head’ list.   Yup, Buffy was definitely going to be bumped from the top slot.

               Buffy.  Crap, crap, crappity, crap!  She’d kill Spike if she found out!  Plus, what would everyone think of her, jumping in to bed with the first man, er, vamp that looked her way?  She was a loose woman, a trollop, a-a-a floozy!   They could never find out.  It was bad enough that she’d lost Oz and screwed up this spell.  She couldn’t deal with them knowing.  Anyway, it would keep Spike from being a big pile of dust.

               “You’re awfully quiet, Red.  Is something wrong?” Spike stopped walking and looked at her, concern etched in his face.  “Tell me, baby.  You know I’ll fix it if I can.”

               Willow looked up at him again and lied, “No, Spike, nothing’s wrong.”

               Spike’s face brightened, “Right then, let’s go, ducks, Watcher’s a-waitin’.”

               A cool autumn breeze blew across the street and Willow shivered.  Spike noticed and pulled off his duster, wrapping it around her.

               Willow took the opportunity and jumped in with both feet.  She threw her arms around him in a tight hug.  “Thank you, Spike.  For everything.  For caring, for making me smile, for being there when I needed you,” she sputtered out in a rush.

               Spike held her and kissed the top of your head, “You don’t have to thank me princess.  You mean everything to me, baby.”  He sighed as he held her, breathing in her scent.  He was still love’s bitch.

               “Spike, I’ve been thinking.  Maybe it would be better if we didn’t tell everyone about our relationship.”

               “Why, luv?” Spike breathed, hurt in his expressive eyes.  “Are you ashamed of me?”  He couldn’t take it if Willow didn’t want him or was embarrassed of him.

               “No!  No, Spike, of course not.  I-it’s just that I’m afraid Buffy will stake you with Mr. Pointy, and Xander will probably help her, he hates you, you know, especially since you kidnapped us last year and Cordy fell on that rebar, and Giles will be soooo angry, a-and then everyone will be mad, and you’ll be a pile of dust, and I’ll never be able to make everything better, and I’ll just have screwed everything up, again…and I couldn’t take it if you were hurt because of me!”

               Spike was gobsmacked.  How could the little chit say all of that in one breath?  He tried to pick through the babble to get the main points.  “I understand, sweet.  We’ll just wait to tell them until you say the time is right.  All better now?”

               Willow sucked in a huge breath of air and nodded.  He gazed at her and said, gently, “I told you, luv, I trust you.  You’ll know when the time is right.  Now, let’s get this little visit over with so we can go back to your room and shag like crazed weasels.”

               The rest of the walk to Giles’ was uneventful.  Well, uneventful except that Spike took every opportunity to pull Willow into the shadows and kiss her breathless.  Damn, the things he could do with his tongue were probably illegal in some states.

               They stopped outside Giles’ door, and Willow gave the duster back to Spike and smoothed down her hair.  Deep breath.  Okay, she could do this…she had to.  She opened the door and they walked in…only to be pushed aside by Anya and Xander as they barreled through the door behind them.

               Xander shoved a bookcase in front of the door, “Board up the windows, and barricade the doors!”

               Giles sat up on the couch abruptly, startled at the noise, “What's going on?”

               “Demons,” said Anya, “They keep coming and coming.”

                Xander, breathing hard, “I think we lost them, but I couldn't see.”  He turned around, “Spike!  He's all untied! “  He paused and looked around at everyone in the room, “Which you probably noticed…”

               Buffy came out of the kitchen and bounced up to Willow, “Will!  I missed you so much!”  She flung herself around Willow’s neck and clutched her so hard, her eyes bugged out.

               “Buffy!  Gotta breathe here!” she gasped out.  She heard Spike growl behind her.  Fortunately, no one else seemed to notice.

   “I’m so sorry I didn’t stay when you needed me to earlier.  I was wrong.  You’re the most important person in the world to me.  Nothing means more than our friendship!”

  “Uh, thanks, Buff.”  Weirdness.

   Buffy just beamed at her and turned to Xander and Anya.  “Hey, guys, did I hear you mention something about demons?  Maybe the demons have something to do with Giles being blind.”

               Anya moved forward, “Giles is blind?”

               Xander walked over to Giles and waved his fingers in front of Giles' face.

               Giles looked irritated, “Please stop whatever you're doing. You smell like fruit roll-ups.”

               Buffy began to speak animatedly, “Hey, Will, do ya still want to see Steel Magnolias?  I rented it just for you, and I got those tissues with the lotion in them, so when you cry during the movie, your nosie won’t get rosie!”  She turned and went back in the kitchen.

               Willow just smiled at Buffy and leaned towards Giles, speaking through her teeth, “Uh, Giles?  What's wrong with Buffy?”

               “Huh.. such a good question.”

               Spike smirked at the turmoil in the room, “This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am *deeply* shamed.”

               Willow sighed, it looked like her problem would have to wait till tomorrow.  “Spike's right. We really should get organized.”  Spike walked up next to her, and without thinking about it, she took his hand.

               Anya was the first to speak up, “Why are you holding hands?”

               Oh.  Crap.

               Spike turned and looked at her lovingly, “I know you wanted to wait for just the right time luv, but they have to hear it sooner or later…”

               Willow looked like a deer caught in headlights.

               Spike unfortunately took her silence as an agreement of sorts, “Willow and I are in love!”

               Xander was stunned, “How? What? How?”  He flinched with every one-word question he uttered.

               Giles, equally stunned, but also blind and inebriated, commiserated with him, “Three excellent questions.”

               Willow recovered slightly and looked up at Spike, who was gazing at her with adoration, “Uh, Spike, what are you lookin’ at?”

               “The woman I love,” he responded and kissed her passionately.

               Buffy chose that moment to run out of the kitchen, clutching the cookie sheet.  “Look Will!  I baked you a cookie!  See!  It’s a rat!  Double chocolate chip, no nuts.  It’s your favorite, right?”

               Xander looked from Spike and Willow kissing to the rat cookie, and held up his hand as though he was asking permission, “Can I be blind, too?”

               Anya nodded in complete agreement.  Then all hell broke loose.  Everyone yelling at one another.  “Willow’s more important than slaying!”   “I can’t see anything!”  “The demons just kept coming at me!”

               The yelling swirled around in Willow’s mind, and then she heard Spike whispering in her ear, “I love you.”  It all clicked.  The spell.  It was all her fault!  She had to fix it.

               She pulled Spike aside and said, “Spike, I need you to stay here and watch out for everyone.  You’re all under a spell and I have to fix it.”

               Spike started to protest, but she touched his lips with her fingertip, “Please, for me?”

               He nodded.  Anything for his Willow.  I wonder…does she like poetry?  Wait a minute.

               “Luv, what do you mean, I’m under a spell?”  he asked, puzzled.

               “Just wait here, please,” she pleaded.  She grabbed him, hugged him tightly and whispered, “No matter what happens, I want you to know how much tonight has meant to me.”

               “Me too, baby.  Me too.”

               Willow released him and ran out the door.  She had to fix this before anyone got hurt, well, hurt any more than they already were.  She heard Buffy’s exclamation from behind her.

               “But she didn’t even eat the cookie!”

               Amidst all the confusion Xander had an epiphany, “Wait…demon magnet…I know something…what is it? Everything's so familiar. Work, brain, work!  Oh!  Oh!  Oh!  Willow!”

   Buffy heard Willow’s name and jumped in, “Willow?  What about Willow?”

               “Something about Willow and her griefy-poor-me mood swings...so, so tired of it.”

               Anya remarked, relieved, “You mean I don't have to be nice about her anymore?”

               Giles put his two cents in, “Well, we're all tired of it, but what does it have to do with what's going on?”

               Spike stepped forward and growled threateningly, “Watch your mouths, you stupid sods!”  How dare they criticize her; she was the best of the lot of them!

               “Hey!” Buffy interjected, exclaiming, “Willow’s been through a lot!  She’s always been there for us; we should be there for her!  Her feelings are important, after all!”

               Xander had the decency to look sheepish at Buffy’s outburst and enough sense to be a little afraid of Spike, despite the chip, and proceeded a little more gently, “She told me I was a demon magnet, a-and that Buffy should make their friendship a priority.”

               Giles, realizing what had happened that morning in the dorm room, added, “And…that I didn't see anything.”

               Anya, speaking as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, said, “She did a spell.”

               Giles nodded, “Yes, to have her will done. Whatever she says is coming true.”

               “Well, well, well,” Spike smirked, “My little witch got you good.  Can’t say that you insensitive wankers didn’t deserve it.”

               “Right, Spike,” Xander’s sharp words overcoming his sense of self-preservation, “You always treat your potential ‘Happy Meals’ as love interests.”

               Spike leaned forward, menace in his eyes, “Yeah, right, you moron.  My Red wouldn’t put a spell on me.  ‘Sides,” he sniffed, “I’m a vampire, I have natural immunity.”

               “Yeah. Right. You're just perfect for each other.”

               “You just moved to the top of the bloody list, Chubbs.”

               Xander paled, and wisely kept his mouth shut.

               “People, “ Giles said, “Willow left, where did she go?”

               “She said something about all of you silly wankers bein’ under some spell, and that she had to fix it, “ Spike informed them.

               “You mean she’s out there, alone?”

               Spike nodded.  His princess would be alright.  Wouldn’t she?

               Xander said, exasperated, “We gotta find her.”

               “The whelp is right, for once,” Spike said, begrudgingly.

               Anya remarked, “Yeah, before someone gets really hurt.”

               Giles nodded in agreement, stood, and moved forward, forgetting exactly where he was, and fell over the couch, landing face-first on the floor on the other side.

               Xander winced, “Oooo.  That’s gotta hurt.”

~Part: 6~

Willow ran all the way back to Stevenson Hall.  She had to get that spellbook and undo the spell.  Goddess, how could she have caused this?  She unlocked her door and yanked it open, not noticing the demon coming up behind her.  It clutched her head with one of its enormous hands on each side, making bolts of electrical energy burst forth, writhing and twisting around them.  Willow screamed.

************

               Xander pointed his thumb behind him, indicating Spike, “Why does he have to come?”

               “Because I love Willow.  She’s mine!” he ground out, jaw clenched.  Stupid pillock.  If someone squeezed his bloody head, cream filling would probably come out his ears.

               As they approached the dorm room door, they noticed it was ajar.  Spike, alarmed, pushed ahead of everyone and went in the room.  There was a large circle burnt into the carpet.

               “Okay, this can’t be good,” Xander remarked, his fear and nervousness loosening his tongue.  “Did you guys have to give a security deposit?  ‘Cause I think it’s been blown all to hell.  Literally.”

               If Spike needed to breathe, he would be hyperventilating.  Where was his Willow?  He looked around the room, panicked.  His eyes lighted on an orange skirt with orange marabou trim.  He winced.  Bloody hell, he hoped it belonged to Slutty.

               Anya pushed everyone aside to look at the burnt circle, “D’Hoffryn,” she said with absolute certainty, “Bastard.  He's opened a portal here.”

               Buffy looked up, “Who?”

               “D’Hoffryn. He made me a demon 1120 years ago.”

               “Why would he attack Willow?”

               Spike looked up at Buffy’s question.  Why would anyone want to hurt his sweet Red?  She was so kind, so smart.  How could anyone not love her?

               Anya said, “I don't believe he did.”

************

               Willow was surrounded by absolute, total darkness.  She swallowed audibly.  Was this an effect of the spell?  A blue demon with large horns on either side of his head emerged from the darkness in front of her, casting a light that illuminated a small circle about them.  Beyond the light, she could see numerous demons, each a different species from the other, fanned out around them.

               The blue demon spoke, “You have much anger and pain. Your magic is strong, but your pain ... it's like a scream that pierces dimensional walls. We heard your call.”

               Willow stammered, “I-I'm sorry. I'll try for a quiet rage. Bye.”  She turned to leave, but several of the demons moved forward to block her path.

               The blue demon, D’Hoffryn, motioned her back, “Our intention is not to quash your potential ... quite the contrary.”

               Willow turned back to him, scared and confused. His tone was almost comforting, but not enough to reduce her fear, and held a great deal of authority.  Kinda reminded her of her dentist.  Willow gulped.

************

               Anya, Xander, Buffy, and Spike walked through the cemetery as Anya explained, “I'd been dumped, I was miserable, doing a few vengeance spells...boils on the penis, nothing fancy.”

               Xander made a rolling motion with his hand, “Please skip ahead.”

               Anya shrugged, like it was no big deal, and continued, “D’Hoffryn got wind of me, he offered to elevate me.”

               “Meaning?” Buffy asked.

               “He made me a demon.”

               Buffy’s eyes opened wide, “Oh God, Willow!  But, you can summon this guy from this crypt, right?  You can make him stop…Oh my God!  Wouldn't this be a perfect place for pictures?”  She ran up to a crypt with ivy growing all over it.

               Xander dove in, “Okay, I’ll bite.  Pictures?”

               “We don’t have any really good recent pictures of Willow.  This ivy would be such a perfect backdrop for her red hair and green eyes!”

               Xander rolled his eyes.  His eyes caught a movement to his right.  Great.  “Hey.  Demon,” he said, pointing.

               As it approached, Buffy put her hands on her hips and spoke sternly, “Okay, listen...now we're gonna do this without ruining the foliage.”

               The demon charged and struggled with Buffy briefly before she managed to toss him aside, avoiding the foliage, of course.  She looked up and saw another, and another.

               “Let’s go!” she yelled.

               They all ran inside the crypt, barricading the door with whatever they could find.  Anya ran to the other side of the support pillar and knelt down, drawing a circle around herself on the dirt floor.

               She began to intone, “Blessed be the name of D’Hoffryn. Let this space be now a gateway to the world of Arashmahar, where demons are spawned.”

D’Hoffryn continued, “The pain and suffering you brought upon those you love is inspiring. You are ready to join us here in Arashmahar.”

               Willow was alarmed, “Pain?  What pain?”

               D’Hoffryn waved his hand and a window of sorts appeared.  Through it, Willow saw her friends.

               A demon’s hand crashed through the crypt window, grabbing Buffy’s throat and choking her.

             Spike was clearly agitated, “Dammit!  Willow’s out there!  I’ve got to get to her!”  He paced like a tiger in a cage.

               Xander grabbed a hunk of rock from the ground and began to pummel the scabby fist that had punched through the door.  He yelled out, “Not doin' well here!”

               Anya kept chanting, desperately trying to stay focused, “We come in supplication. We bend as the reed…in the flow of the, uh…  No, wait…  We-we come in the flow of the, uh… Ugh!”  She took a deep breath and plunged in again from the top, “Blessed be the name of D’Hoffryn…”

               Buffy jerked away from the hand at her throat, while Spike helped Xander prop a slab against the doorway.

               Spike turned towards Buffy, “They're strong, and I can't fight. If they get in, I don't know if I’ll make it out.  You have to promise me that you’ll find my Red and protect her.”

               Buffy snorted, “Of course, I’ll protect her.  We girls have got to stick together!”

               Spike rolled his eyes, “Oh, not with the Girl-Power bit!”

               Their conversation was interrupted by the demons busting their way in.  Spike was thrown down on the ground, a demon straddling his chest, and punching him in the face.  Another demon tossed Xander against the wall, winding him, then grabbed him forcefully, banging him against the stones.  Anya jumped on the back of the demon beating Xander, but was easily tossed aside.

               D’Hoffryn smiled, he gestured to the window, pleased with the way things were going.

               Willow’s eyes began to fill with tears.  “Oh, God. But I didn't mean to!” she croaked out, her voice choked with emotion.  All of them, in pain, in danger.  All because of her.

               “But you did. This is the result of your power. You will make a fine vengeance demon.”

               “No, please! You have to help them!”

               D’Hoffryn was dismissive, “It is not my concern. You are my interest in this matter.”

               Willow was almost frantic, but she knew she had to tread carefully, “Really…no offense intended.  I mean, you've been super-nice and everything, but, I don't want to be a demon. I just wanna go back and help my friends.”

               “That is your answer?”

               “It-it is.”  Willow held her breath.

               D’Hoffryn glowered at her menacingly, “I'm sorry to hear that.” His mood lightened abruptly, “Oh, well. Here is my talisman.”  He handed a small disc to Willow.  “You change your mind, give us a chant.”  He waved his hand and Willow simply vanished.

************

               Willow reappeared in the crypt with her friends.  They were still fighting the demons.  Buffy threw a demon across the crypt and knocked the one punching Spike into the far wall.  Spike looked up and noticed Willow immediately.  He jumped up and ran to her, clutching her to his chest, and then pulling back to kiss her soundly.  She looked up with tears in her eyes and touched his face.  He looked at her, puzzled.  She pushed him away gently and began.

               She took a deep calming breath and spoke, “Let the healing power begin. Let my will be safe again. As these words of peace are spoken, let this harmful spell be broken.”

               Thunder boomed, rattling the crypt as the lightening flashed.  The demons vanished, leaving only her friends.  She looked back at Spike, directly into his blue eyes.  He looked at her with anger and confusion.  Jaw clenched and nostrils flaring.

               She reached out to him, to touch him, to apologize, and he flinched away from her.

               “Don’t you bloody touch me, witch.”

               She snatched her hand back as though it were burned and looked at the ground, startled at the venom in his voice.  “I-I’m so sorry, Spike,” she said in a small childlike voice.  Her chest felt like it was constricting in pain.

               Spike gave her a final glare and stalked to the other side of the crypt, as far away as he could get.  He took in great, gasping, unnecessary breaths to calm himself.  Bloody stupid cow.  Fucking bitch…make him love her!  Then…then taking it all away.  He felt like he had a great big hole where his heart should be.

               As if he ever really would.  Love her.  No, he wanted his dark princess, not a silly little red haired bint.  A mere human.  He should kill her for making him feel like that.  Making him want her, need her.  Fucking hell, he could still smell her, all around him.  Feel her, taste her.  Bugger all, he felt so bloody, fucking confused.  He wanted, no, *needed* to kill something.

               The others got up from the ground, sore and weary…and really pissed off.  They turned slowly and looked at Willow.

               She smiled, or at least tried to, and waggled her fingers at them.  “Hi, guys,” she said, dejectedly.

************

               After witnessing Buffy’s efforts, Willow thought chocolate chip cookies might be a good way to start her atonement.  A lot of cookies.  Anya held a plate as Willow picked them up off of the hot cookie sheet with a spatula.

               Anya asked casually, “How long are you going to keep making these?”  She’d managed to choke down a half-dozen already.

               “Oh, until I don't feel so horribly guilty. I figure about a million chips from now. Also, I have to clean this kitchen.  How did Buffy manage to get egg on the ceiling, anyway?”

               Anya shrugged and Willow took the plate, walking over to Xander and Giles.  Xander stood across the room holding an alarm clock while Giles sat on the couch.

               Xander tested Giles, “Time?”

               “A-ha!  Five past two. Thursday,” Giles replied with confidence.

               Willow pushed the cookie-laden plate towards Giles, “Look, cookies. A very not-evil thing I did. Oatmeal?”

               Giles removed his glasses and scowled, “Yes, very funny, they're chocolate chip. I can see them. I still need my glasses, though. You could’ve been more specific and given me 20/20.”

               Willow smiled at him and walked over to Buffy, “Eat a cookie; ease my pain?”

               Buffy took a cookie, biting into it, “Mm. Better?”

               “Well, baking lifts about 30% of my guilt, but only 7% of my inner turmoil. Guess that'll just take awhile.”  Willow glanced at Spike out of the corner of her eye and sighed.

               Buffy did her best to be reassuring, “It'll happen.”

               Spike glared at them both, “Don't I get a cookie?”

               “No.”

               “Well, I gotta have something. I still have Willow taste in my mouth,” he said cruelly.

               Willow flinched and walked into the hallway.

               Buffy snarled, “You're a pig, Spike.”

               “Yeah, well I'm not the one so desperate for someone to love me I had to cast a bloody spell to get it.”  He couldn’t believe how angry he still felt…or betrayed.

               Buffy turned around, finding the cookie from last night, and picked up a knife.  She brought it down hard, hacking off the tail end of the double chocolate chip rat.  No nuts.  She picked it up and shoved it in his mouth.  “Ya are whatcha eat, Spike,” she threw over her shoulder as she walked into the hallway to find Willow.

               “Did I mention about the sorry part?”  Willow said, her head bowed.

               “Yep, yep you did,” Buffy quipped.  Her face softened, remembering the loss that had been the reason for this whole mess.  “I know I haven’t been the bestest friend lately, but I’m really gonna try to be there for you, ya know?  And I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but one day you’ll find someone special, and have a nice relationship with a decent, reliable…OH MY GOD!  Riley thinks I’m a lesbian!”

               “What?”

the end

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