Feedback: I need it like air and water!!
Disclaimer: I own nothing!! I have nothing!! Please don’t sue!! Joss Whedon owns all.
Category: Willow/Spike primarily
Spoilers: Up to Season: Five Episode: Crush
Rating: NC17
Summary: Willow tries to get Spike's attention but he ends trying to get hers.
Distribution: RedsSoulmates, ShadesofGrey, NearHerAlways, and WillowsLilSecret; anyone else please ask first.
Author’s Notes: Willow and Tara are just friends. This is my turn on how things should have happened. Buffy and Spike don’t get together in my world. < Indicate character thoughts. >
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 1~ Playing With Magic
Earlier that evening...
Buffy turned her back to Spike as she cringed in disgust.
“Spike, we will never, and I repeat never be together.”
“But...”
“Never Spike!” Buffy yelled as she walked away from him.
Spike stood in defeat. He had wanted to win this battle. He wanted the Slayer more than he could think. She was simply a mere want. She held no place in his heart. She was only in his head.
Spike turned and walked away with his shoulders slumped back to his crypt. He took the short cut through the cemetery to make it home faster. Spike slowed his pace and straightened his body as he came to a stop. He smelled lavender and vanilla. It was a distinct smell that he liked but couldn’t pin point. He looked around and saw nothing but the darkness.
Slowly from the darkness a lean figure emerged from the shadows. Spike continued on to his crypt lighting a cigarette on the way. The figure stayed in the shadows following his every step. Flicking his cigarette into the night, Spike suddenly stopped in his tracks. His normal handsome features slipped away to be replaced with ridges and anger.
“What the hell do you want and why are you following? You know I can kill a demon without a doubt in my mind? Spike said lowly.
“Yeah I know.” Willow said quietly as she emerged from the dark. Her hair was parted down the middle lacking the curl she normally had in it. She wore a dark red tank top that resembled blood and a pair of white cotton shorts and matching white flip flops.
Spike turned around still in full game face.
“How did you? Why can I? I could smell you but I couldn’t hear you. Are you playing with magic again?” Spike asked as his grr face slipped away.
“No Spike I’m not playing with magic. I saw you and Buffy fighting and I wanted to see if you were okay.” Willow said with concern.
“I am Pet. Get on home before something gets you.” Spike said as he began to walk away.
Willow frowned. She wasn’t sure what had just happened that made her feel so stupid.
“Nothing will get me. I’m a big girl you know.” She yelled to his retreating figure.
Spike laughed as he walked back up to her. “Look, you really should get going Red. You don’t want to try and console me tonight. You wouldn’t know how.” He said coldly.
Instinctively Willow slapped him hard in the face. < Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! > While Spike was trying to get over the shock that Willow had slapped him she pushed him hard and he fell backwards.
“Little girl...” Spike began to say as Willow straddled his chest. Bright green eyes stared down into amber eyes. Willow’s mind was racing a mile a minute. She had never been so angry at Spike. But he was bringing it out of her. Willow finally broke eye contact with him and leaned down and kissed him hard. Spike returned the kiss with as much intensity as she gave. Slowly she leaned back up. She then stood up and began to walk away. Spike watched her every move in awe as he scrambled to his feet.
“Where did all the fire come from Red?!” Spike yelled to her back. “Red! Pet! Luv! Willow!” Willow turned and looked back at the use of her given name.
“It burns deep inside Spike. Deeper than you can get.” Willow said with a smile before walking away.
~~~*~~~
Willow walked into her parent’s house and leaned against the now closed door. Her parents were out of town again so she had the house all to herself. She paced the living room floor and finally plopped down onto the couch. Willow folded her arms across her chest as she started to think of what made her say those things to Spike. She had never been so cocky.
“He doesn’t even know I’m alive. Why doesn’t he give me as much attention as he gives to Buffy?” Willow asked to no one in particular. Finally she stood up and made her way up to her bedroom. She had one idea and she wasn’t too sure if it would work.
Spike swung open his crypt door. He walked over to his Buffy Shrine and removed everything that was her. He removed her pictures and anything else that he had acquired. He neatly put everything into a trunk. He was almost done until he found one last picture folded of her at the foot of his bed. He picked it up gently in his large hands. He started to frown as he unfolded the picture.
“Bloody hell.” Spike said as he stared at the picture of Buffy and Willow. He had never noticed how fragile and innocent she looked. Then again, he couldn’t believe all the fire that he had seen in her eyes tonight. < So little mouse wants to play? > Spike was planning on giving her a run for her money. Spike tore the picture of the two girls in half. He placed the half of Buffy in the open trunk and placed the half of Willow on his pillow. Spike grabbed his coat and headed back out to start up a little fun with the little minx who shocked him earlier that evening.
~Part: 2~ Your Attention
There were clothes lying everywhere. They covered Willow’s bed and nearly all of her floor. Or at least what was supposed to be her floor. Willow stood in front of her full length mirror. She smiled to herself. Her hair was swept up into a tight little bun and two red tendrils framed her face that brought out her eyes. She had dark red lip gloss on her lips making them appear to be fuller. She wore an army green tank top that exposed her stomach and a pair of short black cotton shorts that showed how long her legs were. At that moment she knew she was beautiful.
< Eat your heart out world. > Willow thought with a smile.
She was going to show Spike how much fire she had in her. She slipped on some black sandals on her way out of her room. Looking at the clock on the VCR she saw it read 1:25am. She knew she shouldn’t be going out so late but she wanted to see if Spike had it in him to come seek her out. She grabbed a stake and her holy water gun for some added protection. Nearing the door she grabbed her keys off of the coffee table and headed into the night.
~~~*~~~
Spike paced the cemetery where he and Willow had their last encounter earlier that evening. He had this feeling that she would be back to that very spot. He waited impatiently and began to leave as soon as Willow had entered the cemetery from the back gate.
Willow held her breath as she saw Spike standing there like a child, all fidgety. She was glad and shocked that he was there.
“Leaving so soon?” Willow said trying to draw on that lust in her voice. Spike slowly turned around with a sly grin on his face.
< My god, the chit has legs and breasts! > Spike thought to himself.
Quickly his grin turned into a frown. He didn’t want her to think that she had him in the palm of her hands. Because right then he was putty fit to be molded.
“You know luv, that’s really not you. Playing dress up for me was something that Buffy did. So please, don’t try to appease me with the slut gig.” Spike loved playing with the Scooby’s emotions. He pit forth so much disgust in what he said to draw out any anger that she may have had. He wasn’t counting on hurting Willow’s feelings.
Willow cringed at Spike’s words. He knew where to hit them and it was usually below the belt. Willow’s eyes filled with unshed tears causing her green eyes to glisten.
“It’s not all about her you know?” Willow said in defeat. She willed herself not to cry but a tear slipped free and rolled down her cheek. Spike instantly felt bad and kicked at the air.
“Bloody hell Red don’t cry. I was just saying that you don’t have to dress up to get my attention.” Spike went towards her and went to grab her arm. Willow flinched away and wiped her cheek with the back of her hand.
“Please don’t humor me.” Willow turned her back to Spike as the tears slipped from her eyes. She wiped at them mindlessly. Spike heard a hitch in her voice and stuffed his hands into his duster pockets.
After wiping away some of the tears Willow turned around and looked at Spike. Spike went to say something to her but Willow cut him off.
“I know who has your attention Spike. We all know.” Willow said with anger and hurt in her voice. Her eyes were glazed over from fallen tears. “I just wanted you to see me as something besides Buffy’s best friend.”
Willow quickly turned on her heels and tried to walk away. Spike grabbed her arm and made her face him. “But you are her best friend you know? She would kill me just for being out here with you.” Willow shrugged and tried to walk away again. This time Spike let her go but moved along side of her to finish saying what he had to say.
“You know you are her stability. Buffy needs you, not me. She needs someone that can be there when she needs them to be. You are the innocence in her life. You are the purity that she lacks. You are the one who can have the normal life that she wants and would die for. And that fire that you have is an added bonus.” Spike waited for all that to sink in. He continued to walk beside Willow.
“Why do you think that I’m innocence and purity?” Willow asked as she slowed to a stop. Spike wasn’t expecting that. He shrugged and pulled out a cigarette. Willow tried to wait for an answer but she had more questions. “What makes you think that I don’t need something or someone to keep me stable?” He was definitely not ready for that one either. Spike took in an unnecessary breath.
“Pet, you have an aura that drips with pure, raw innocence. You are the stable one because you are the strongest mentally. Your friends would have all died without you. If you can’t keep them together then there will be nothing but the shell of a Slayer. She wasn’t meant to have friends who care about her. She should have died out a long time ago.” Spike let that thought hang in the air. Willow pondered it for a minute.
“Like I said before, we know who has your attention Spike.” Willow started to walk away and this time a little bit faster. She needed to be far away from Spike. She couldn’t think clearly with him in such a close proximity. Spike was floored. He couldn’t understand what was going on with her and why she wouldn’t see things his way.
Spike hurried to catch up with her. While he was standing there trying to figure out what the hell just happened Willow was out of the cemetery and walking up the sidewalk to her parents’ house. Spike finally caught up with her and walked in her pace. Willow stopped and looked at him.
“What?” She asked in frustration.
“Let me walk you home.” Spike said. It was more like a statement than a question.
“Please, Spike just go away. I need to think.” Willow said as her voice quivered with hurt.
“No can do Luv. I can’t and I won’t let you walk Sunnydale streets alone. You never know what lurks in the shadows.” Spike said with a bit of sarcasm.
“Spike, you are what lurks in the shadows.” Willow said. He shrugged. Willow started to walk on. Spike stood still in the same spot. She looked back behind her.
“Are you coming?” Willow asked. Spike caught up with her and they walked in silence. Willow walked with a bounce in her step and Spike with his duster billowing behind him.
~Part: 3~ Someone Special
Willow and Spike finally reached her parents house. They walked
all the way over in complete silence which had unnerved Spike to no end.
Willow on the other hand hadn’t minded as much because it gave her a chance
to think about why she kissed Spike and why he had upset her so much.
As they started up the stairs, Spike finally had the nerve to say something.
“Pet?” He said looking anywhere that wasn’t her face.
“Yeah Spike.” She said turning around to acknowledge him.
“You’re not still mad at me are ya?” He asked quietly. Willow
had never seen Spike act as nervous as he was right at that moment.
The corners of her mouth turned into a small smile. She was touched
that he thought that she may have still been mad at him.
“No Spike. I’m not mad anymore. I just have a hard time
understanding the male species.” She said before unlocking the front
door and going through it. Spike’s eyebrow rose up. <The
chit’s having problems with the male species?!> Willow turned around and
waved Spike in as an invitation. He sauntered in behind her and closed
the door. Willow tossed her keys on the coffee table and walked into
the kitchen.
“Spike would you like something to drink?” Willow asked from
the kitchen. Spike had taken off his duster and laid it over the
recliner before taking a seat on the sofa in front of the window.
“Yeah. Do you have scotch?” He said as he grabbed the T.V. guide
of the table and throwing his feet up in place of them.
“No scotch here, but I have some blood.” She said pulling out
a bottle of water for herself. Spike’s interest perked when she said
that she had blood in her refrigerator.
“Blood is fine. Do you need any help?” He said as he continued
to turn the pages.
“No I’m okay.” She said as she pressed the buttons on the microwave
to heat up Spike’s blood. < She’s heating up my blood too.
Red sure is a strange little bird. Why the hell does she have blood
in her refrigerator? >
The microwave beeped signaling that it was done. Willow grabbed
her bottle of water and poured Spike’s blood into a coffee mug and headed
out into the living room. Willow handed Spike his blood and grabbed
the remote as she plopped down next to Spike. Spike sipped his blood
checking for the temperature. Willow turned the T.V. on and began
to flip through the channels looking for something to watch.
“The temperature is perfect. How did you know what to heat it
to?” Spike asked curiously. Willow settled on repeats of Saved
by the Bell and placed the remote back on the coffee table.
“I always keep blood in the refrigerator just in case Angel decides
to pop in. I know how long to heat it up because Cordy was telling
me that human blood is always the right temperature and that’s how vamps
like it. So I figured that you, being a vampire, would like it.”
She said staring at the T.V.
“So the Poof would be “popping” in, why? Spike asked. Willow
sighed and looked over at Spike.
“Spike, what’s with all of the questions?” Willow asked as she
put her water bottle on the table. Spike’s jaw began to twitch.
It always bothered him when Buffy or anyone for that matter talked about
Angel. But this time it was bugging him even more so when Willow
had his name on her lips.
“No reason Pet.” Spike looked at her VCR and saw that it read
4:39am. “I should head out Pet. It’ll be morning soon.”
Spike said as he began to stand up. Willow felt bad that she had
called Spike out on questioning her. Willow stood up beside him.
<Say something Rosenburg.>
“Spike you don’t have to go.” Willow spit out. Spike looked
at her like she had lost it.
“Pet, it’s one thing to invite a vampire into your home, but to have
a vampire sleep in your bed is another thing.” He responded as he
walked over to where he laid his duster. Willow’s face turned almost
as red as her hair.
“I was just saying that you could stay up in the guest room or down
here on the couch.” She said picking up his mug and her water bottle.
Spike was feeling a little sheepish for insinuating that they were to sleep
in the same bed. <I wonder how far that blush goes.> Spike shook his
head to clear his thoughts. Spike saw Willow staring at him.
“What the bloody hell are ya looking at me for?” Spike asked
in annoyance. Willow was taken aback by his sudden abruptness.
Spike saw the look on her face and instantly felt bad. <I can be a jerk
too and I will not cry.> Willow stood her ground and just shrugged.
She didn’t want him to see her cry anymore and she wasn’t going to give
in to him being a jerk to her in her own house.
“No reason. I was just saying that you can make it back to your
crypt if you hurry.” She said and walked past him and into the kitchen.
Spike knew she was lying about what she had said. It didn’t matter
anyway since he had heard her the first time. He knew his mouth was
getting him back where they had started earlier that evening. Spike
heard her place the cup in the sink and begin to wash it. He walked
towards the kitchen and stood in the doorway.
“Pet, I’m sorry for being so short with you.” Spike said as he
walked all the way into the kitchen and pulled out a chair. Willow
turned off the water and began to dry the mug. She turned and looked
at Spike.
“Why do you always do that?” She asked as she put the mug on
the counter. Willow walked over to the table and pulled out the chair
directly across from him. She began to pull her hair out of the bun
that she had it in. Spike was shocked that she had the nerve to just
ask him what his problem was. He shrugged.
“I don’t know. I guess it’s my Defense Mechanism.” He said
as he began to start to pick at what was left of his black nail polish.
“Angel used to stay here when he and Buffy were together. It
would be to late when they came back from their date and he would crash
here.” Willow said revealing the answer to the question that he had
asked her about Angel popping in. Spike was happy that she told him.
He didn’t want to think that Angel had slept with every Scooby.
“So did you and the Poof ever talk about Buffy when he came back from
his dates?” Spike asked curiously. Willow smiled as she remembered
countless conversations that she and Angel had had.
“Yeah. He told me where they had been and what they talked about.”
Willow ran her hands threw her hair pulling out any knots that she had.
“They were so in love.” She said with a smile. Spike wasn’t
all that thrilled with the whole Buffy and Angel saga, but he knew what
Willow said was true. He also knew that Buffy would compare all of
her loves to Angel.
“So who were you in love with then?” Spike asked. Willow
placed her hands in her lap and looked down at them.
“No one. I’ve never been in love.” She said quietly.
Spike was shocked. He could have sworn that she had a thing for Xander,
and Oz.
“But I thought that you had a thing for the whelp? Oh yeah and
Dogboy. You two went out for awhile.” Spike said as he stopped
picking at his nails and looking up at her. “Oh and what about your
little blonde friend?” He asked referring to Tara.
“I will always love Xander. But just as a friend. I knew
when I caught him kissing Cordelia that he and I would be just friends.
Oz, well, he cheated on me with some other werewolf named Veruca.
They had more in common animalistically. And Tara. She is just
a friend to practice magic with. She wanted more but I told her that
she deserves better than someone like me.” Willow said finally looking
up at Spike who was now staring at her.
“Maybe you just need someone who you can fall in love with. Someone
special.” Spike said as he reached across the table offering his
hand to her. Willow reached across the table and put her hand into
his.
next | back