Pairing: Willow/Spike
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary: After Buffy closes the portal that Glory opened, the remainder Scooby’s leave town in search of a new life.
Spoilers: End of Season 5/ Beginning of Season 6 BtVS; up to Season 4 AtS
Author Notes: The Scooby Gang decides never to resurrect Buffy. Tara decides that staying with Willow is dangerous and goes back to her family. In lieu of everyone leaving, bonds are formed. <Indicate character thoughts.>
Disclaimer: All characters and excerpts belong to Joss Whedon, FOX, Mutant Enemy, WB, and UPN. I make no profit from these stories and only write for pleasure. Please don’t sue! I have nothing!
Distribution: Redssoulmates, WillowsLilSecret, NearHerAlways, ShadesOfGrey, TheBatPack2, FanFiction.net; Any one else, please ask first.
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~Part: 1~
Willow’s POV
I sit in front of my mirror staring at nothing. I look like crap and feel like it too. I will always remember and never forget that one of my best friend’s lives was stolen before their time. I still can’t get over it and I don’t think that I ever will. She saved the world for Dawn. She saved the world for all of us. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much grief or anguish. I wish it were me instead of her. Buffy was the longest living slayer. She was The Chosen One. I remember my last days with her, all full of stress and fear. She told me I was the strongest person she had.
~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~
“I need you, Will. You’re my big gun.”
“I’m your-no, I-I was never a gun. Someone else should be the gun. I, I could be a, a cudgel. Or, or a pointy stick.”
“You’re the strongest person here. You know that, right?”
“Well…no.”
“Will, you’re the only person that’s ever hurt Glory at all. You’re my best shot at getting her on the ropes, so don’t get jelly belly on me now.”
~~~~~~~~End of Flashback~~~~~~~~
I never noticed Xander standing in the doorway watching me until he called my name pulling me from my thoughts.
End of Willow’s POV
“Willow.” Xander said quietly. Willow glanced into the mirror and focused on the image that she saw and turned around in the small vanity chair. She gave him her best smile and got up to meet him.
“Hey there.” Willow responded as she brought her arms around him for a hug.
“Hey yourself.” Xander said pulling her closer to him. “How ya holding up?” he asked pulling from her embrace and holding her out at arms length to get a good look at her. Willow shrugged and frowned.
“I feel empty Xan. I feel like a part of me died right along with her.” She said as her eyes glazed up from unshed tears. A tear slipped free from Xander’s eye making a wet trail down his cheek.
“Me too Wills. Me too.” He responded quietly. Willow wiped the tear away from Xander’s cheek with the pad of her thumb.
“Don’t cry Xan. We’ll be okay. Buffy would want us to be strong.” Willow said before her own tears began to spill over.
“I know. She would want us to take care of each other.” Xander said completing her thought.
Willow nodded and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. She breathed in deeply and tried to smile and it came out more like a grimace.
“Good try with the smile.” Xander said through a small laugh.
“I know. It looked terrible didn’t it?” Willow asked running her hand through her short hair.
“Well, let’s just say it wasn’t very Willowy.” He said.
“Oh well, right?” she asked.
“Right.” Xander answered placing his hand on the small of her back and guiding her down the hallway of the Summer’s home.
~Part: 2~
Spike held Dawn to his chest as she slept. She was so small in his arms. He held her to him like she was his own sister. Everything that Buffy said to him replayed to him over and over in his head.
~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~
“I’m counting on you…to protect her.”
“Till the end of the world…”
~~~~~~~~End of Flashback~~~~~~~~
Dawn started to whimper in his arms. Spike held her tighter. She hadn’t been sleeping well and only slept for short periods of time in his arms. Spike’s shirt began to dampen. He pulled back to see that she was crying in her sleep.
“Lil’ Bit.” Spike said into her ear as he began to shake her some. He only received a muffled, ‘No. Buffy.’ It killed him to hear Dawn cry out for her sister knowing that she’d never answer.
“Lil’ Bit. Come on wake up.” Spike said again as he patted her head. Dawn began to stir in his arms. Dawn opened her eyes and Spike let her sit up on her own. Dawn lightly pushed herself up from Spike using his chest as leverage. She wiped the remaining tears away with the hem of her shirt. Spike watched her quietly.
“Sorry about that Spike.” Dawn said as she tried to wipe invisible tears off his dampened shirt with her hand.
“It’s okay. A bloke’s got more shirts.” Spike said standing up from the small cot. Dawn gave him a small smile.
“Yeah. You do have a couple dozen black shirts.” Dawn said through a snicker.
“I’ve got other colors.” Spike said in defense of his wardrobe. Dawn started to laugh as he out both hands on his hips.
“Okay, name them.” She said as she continued to laugh. Spike smiled. She hadn’t laughed since they buried Buffy and he was glad that she was laughing even if it was about his lack of color in his clothes. Knocking broke through the laughter.
“It’s open!” Spike said in the direction of the stairs. Xander and Willow came down the stairs filing into the room as a duo.
“Hey guys.” Willow said through a smile.
“Hey Willow. What are you guys doing?” Dawn asked as she smiled. Xander went and plopped down next to Dawn.
“Well, we’re going to the car dealership and wanted to see if you guys wanted to come with.” Spike’s eyebrows raised in curiosity.
“Car dealership, Pet?” Spike asked. “And where did you get the money to buy cars?”
“Well, Xander is going to trade-in his car and I’m going to trade-in my car. My inheritance will cover the rest.” Willow responded.
“But I didn’t even know you had a car or an inheritance.” Spike said.
“My parents bought it for me for graduation. I never use it because I always walk where I need to go or Xander drives. We’ll need something bigger if we all decide to leave Sunnydale. The inheritance is from my parents too.” She said.
“Well, the Watcher already said he was going back over the pond to tell the Council of what happened here.” Spike said as he went to sit on the other side of Dawn.
“I know. Anya is down at the Magic Box helping Giles pack up the store. We’re going to have everything shipped from there to where we decide to set up camp.” She added.
“What about Tara?” Dawn asked curiously. She knew that the relationship between her and Willow had dwindled down to just a mere friendship. Willow shifted from foot to foot to Dawn’s question.
“Tara is going back to her family. She said that it was too dangerous here and with what Glory had done to her, she could no longer be here in Sunnydale or with me.” Willow answered.
“I’m sorry Willow.” Dawn said quietly.
“Yeah me too, Pet.” Spike added. Willow smiled.
“It’s okay guys. It’s not safe here and I don’t blame her. But I still have you guys and that’s more than enough.” She said.
“When do we leave?” Spike asked. He knew everyone else wanted to know. Willow began to pace.
“We can leave as soon as everyone is ready.” Willow said answering Spike’s question. Dawn stood up and walked towards Willow stopping in front of her and taking her hands into her own.
“Willow, I’ll be ready by the time you and Xander get back. It’s too painful here. But where will we go?” Dawn asked. She was glad Dawn was okay with leaving Sunnydale. She would’ve stayed if Dawn had wanted to stay. Willow smiled and hugged Dawn to her.
“You don’t have anything to worry about Dawnie. I’ll have that already taken care of before we leave. I just have to make a phone call.” Willow said answering Dawn and every one else’s question.
“I’ll go pack up our things.” Dawn said pulling from Willow’s arms and running up the stairs. Willow watched Dawn take the stairs two at a time before turning back to face Xander and Spike. Both men stood up simultaneously almost as if they were programmed.
“Wills, I’m going up stairs to help Dawn for a little while. Call up to me when you’re ready to go.” Xander said as he placed a kiss on her forehead before following Dawn.
“Okay Xan.” Willow said. Spike waited to hear the basement door closed before running his hand through his short platinum locks and sighed unnecessarily and stopped to glare at her.
“Red, you better know what the hell you’re doing.” Spike said with an attitude. Willow was shocked at his tone and visually cringed. Willow took an involuntary step back. Willow became angry at his tone. She stepped back towards Spike. He looked at her in amusement. <Did her eyes just flicker?>
“Where do you get off?” Willow responded her voice becoming lower in pitch. Spike was surprised at how Willow challenged him and took a step towards her. She didn’t even bother to back down when he advanced upon her.
“I’m just saying that you shouldn’t get in over your head and play mother hen.” Spike said. Willow was becoming enraged. <Does he really think that I’m so careless?> She breathed in and out slowly.
“I am more that capable of taking care of them. They are like my family. They are all I have. You don’t have to stay if you think that I’m that incompetent.” Willow said as her voice and demeanor shook with rage.
“I won’t leave Dawn. I swore that I’d protect her.” Spike said calmly with his voice still even. Willow couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He acted like none of them would protect Dawn either.
“I would give my life for Dawn. Or any of you for that matter. I can’t believe you have that much disregard for any of our capabilities or feelings.” Willow finished as tears spilled over and down her cheeks.
“Pet, I didn’t mean-.” Spike started to say before Willow cut him off.
“Do. Not. Call. Me. Pet. My name is Willow. Just be ready by the time we get back.” She said turning her back to him and walking towards the stairs slowly. A small sob escaped her lips as she went up. She finally reached the top and slammed the door shut with a bang.
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