She came running to me. After all that I have done to her and her little
friends, she comes here, eyes red and nose running, for comfort. To me. We
know that it is inevitable what is bound to happen.
 “Your clothes are wet,” I comment. She is literally dripping onto the
floor.
 She looks down. “I have been walking.”
 I look at her hair, matted and flat. Her makeup running down her face. And
I think, she has never looked more beautiful. “You left her.”
 Willow nodded. “Yes. I did.”
 “You came to me. You‘ve made up your mind.”
 “Yes.”

That's all I wanted
Something special, something sacred
In your eyes

 I stared at her for a second before she went running into my arms. She
began to sob.
 “What have I done? I actually left her.”
 I tilt her head up and look into her pale eyes, searching for the answers I
needed. She had so many different emotions running through those green orbs.
Anger, sadness, lust, anxiety, relief, and most important, love. I lean
down, and for the first time, our lips touch.

For just one moment
To be bold and naked
At your side

 At first I am tentative, kissing her gently. Then as her need becomes
apparent, I deepen the kiss, my tongue seeking entrance into her mouth. She
tastes sweet, still full of innocence. I admire that about her. Years on the
Hellmouth, fighting creatures of the night, creatures like me, and yet a
large part of her keeps a childlike innocence to it. She doesn’t know that I
have been drawn to her, completely, for months and months. She isn’t like
the others. Never was, never will be. She doesn’t know I am in love with
her.

Sometimes I think that you'll never
Understand me
Maybe this time is forever
Say it can be

 I wasn’t sure why I came here to his apartment. But I couldn’t stay there.
With Tara. I couldn’t lie to her. I love her too much. Spike and I have
known something has been going on between us. Then one day, he stated he was
leaving Sunnydale. Forever. He wouldn’t tell me why. But I knew. I knew
there was an ultimatum. It was either her or him. I had to choose.

That's all you wanted
Something special, someone sacred
In your life

 So I choose. I broke up with Tara the next day, and went running over
there. And now here I am. He tilted my head and looked at me. He was looking
for something. For reassurance, for answers, for what I wasn’t quite sure.
But whatever it was, he seemed to have found it. He brushed his lips against
mine. Gently at first, then passion began to take over. I knew this was
right. In his arms was where I was meant to be. I also knew that I would
lose Buffy’s friendship over this. I didn’t care. Right now, only his kiss
mattered.

Just for one moment
To be warm and naked
At my side

 I don’t know if Spike will ever know exactly how deep my feeling run for
him. I tried to imagine a life without him, without his all-knowing smirk,
without his laughter filling the room. And I couldn’t. I needed him. I
shudder thinking how close this never came to being, how because of my lack
of courage, I almost didn’t break up with Tara. I caress his cheek, pulling
his body in closer to mine. He is a vampire. A cold-blooded killer. But he
isn’t like the others, never was, never will be. He doesn’t know I am in
love with him.

Sometimes I think that you'll never
Understand me
But something tells me together
We'd be happy

 I lifted her up, taking her in my arms. There is so much I want to show
her, teach her. My demon wants to take over. I push it back constantly, not
yet. She isn’t ready for that aspect of this relationship yet. She has had a
hard enough day as it is. I am aware what she gave up. Not just Tara, but
Buffy as well. The moron will reluctantly approve, and the watcher will come
around, but not the slayer. She will do everything in her power to alienate
the girl.
 “Are you okay?” I ask her. I cringe as I realize I sound like the bloody
poof. What love will do to a demon.
 My red nods at me. I want to show her the world, a life, a passion she has
never known. I want to take her to new plains. I know I can take her there,
I just don’t want to scare her and accidentally extinguish that fire brewing
underneath.
 “Are you sure?” I ask again. ‘What is wrong with you,’ the demon inside
cries, ‘take the chit already.’
 Willow smiles at me .“Spike, I’m sure.”

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind

 I lay her on the bed, her red hair surrounding her like a halo. Slowly I
run my tongue down her neck, pausing at the pulse point. I listen to her
heart race. I knew that if my heart still beat, mine would reflect hers.
 I find that she is an eager learner.  This surprises me. She wants so
desperately to please me, make me happy with her. I chuckle at her
willingness. I stare at her naked body. If she only knew what a goddess she
was. Her body is flush and hot. I kiss every inch of her, letting her know
how striking she really is. As I finally take her inside of me, I tell her
how I would do anything for her, she is my goddess, she is my fire, she is
my eternal mate. She is mine.

I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who loves you
Until the end of time

 “But Buffy! Why are you doing this to me?” I knew this was a risk I was
going to have to take. “I thought we were friends!”
 Buffy looked at Spike coldly and then at me. “I will not condone you two
doing whatever it is you are doing. He is the enemy. As long as you see him,
you will continue to be my enemy as well. Just get out!”
 My eyes covered over with tears. This week had been the perfect past seven
days. Why couldn’t Buffy understand that I was finally happy? Spike was what
I had been looking for my entire life, as odd as that seems. He sees the
potential when others just ignore it or want to squash it. This past week,
he has pushed me to do things I would have never done before, and I am
grateful. Why can’t she see that?

That's all I wanted
But sometimes love can be mistaken
For a crime
That's all I wanted
Just to see my baby's
Blue eyed shine

 “Come on, Red. We don’t need her.” Spike grabbed my hand and started to
walk out the door. Buffy stepped in the way.
 “What do you mean you don’t need me?”
 “Exactly what I said slayer. Red here is bending over backwards to help
your sorry ass, and all you do is scream at her. Frankly Slutty, she can
find better company.”
 “Like you I suppose?” Buffy answers. I watch the two of them, one my lover,
the other my former best friend.
 “Yes, like me. I don’t judge her, don’t criticize her, and don’t dump her
for the newest boy-toy flavor of the week.”
 “Oh, so I suppose you are going to say you love her then.” Buffy added with
blatant sarcasm.
 Spike looked into my eyes and smiled. His blue eyes never left mine as he
replied, “Yes. I do love Willow. I love her. What are you going to make of
it?”
 “She is going to make nothing of it. Goodbye Buffy.” I reply. I grab Spike
hand and we leave the dorm room forever.

This time I think that my lover
Understands me
If we have faith in each other
Then we can be
Strong

 Later that week, we left Sunnyhell. She packed her things, called her
parents, and said her goodbyes. My beautiful redheaded goddess was leaving
behind Sunnydale forever, and the only thing she was concerned about was me.
William the Bloody and how I would get my implant out.
 “What they did was horrible. It’s no way to live.”
 “I’m undead Pet, remember?”
 She shook her head at me. “You know what I meant. We have to get that
implant fixed. I’ll find a way. I...I love you.”
 It was the first time she had said that to me. It amazed me that this
creature, this wonderful being could care for me so much. I take in her face
as I start the car, heading to our new life. So thoughtful and
understanding. We decided to hit Boston first. Willow had never really been
in a snowstorm, and I wanted to be the one to give her that experience.
 I want to give her everything. If she ever left, I am not quite sure what I
would do. I love her more than I ever loved Dru, and I was with her over a
century. I can’t lose her, ever. When she gets older, we can discuss
spending an eternity together. For now, I will just enjoy her warmth.

If you are the desert
I'll be the sea
If you ever hunger
Hunger for me
Whatever you ask for
That's what I'll be

 Her hand shook as she read the letter quietly to herself. “Oh my.” Were the
only words that escaped her lips.
 I reach around her and hold her tight, resting my head on her shoulder.
“What’s wrong love? Your parents?”
 She squeezes me for a moment, then walks away. “How did he find me? How do
they know where I am?”
 I was truly perplexed by her rambling. “Pet, what is it?”
 “We have to go to Sunnydale. Now. Things have gone downhill since we left
there six months ago. Anya’s dead, Xander’s seriously injured, Buffy is God
knows where, she is MIA. Giles is a mess, he doesn’t know what to do...
and....”
 “The watcher wrote you?” Willow stared at me. Tears were forming in her
eyes. Tears of great sorrow. “What is it, Luv? Tell Spike what’s wrong?”
 “This is Oz who wrote me. He misses me so much and has searched
relentlessly for me. He thinks that I can put the Scooby Gang back
together.”
 I cringe at that name. Several nights my Red has woken up, crying, shouting
his name. I know she misses him, his friendship, but I can’t feel anything
but jealousy at dogboy. He still holds a deep place in her heart.
 “No. We agreed never to go back there. All that waits for us there are
people who don’t really care about you and only bothered you when they
needed research. We don’t need them.” I strided over to her and held her
tight. Whispering in her ear with more emotion than I care to admit, “They
hurt you.”

So when you remember the ones who have lied
Who said that they cared
But then laughed as you cried
Beautiful Darling
Don't think of me

 I shook my head at him. “No. We have to go back. There isn’t an option.
They hurt me, and I won’t forgive them for that. But I will never forgive
myself if I don’t help them. Don’t you understand?”
 Spike held me tighter in his embrace. “But Boston is our home now. And now
that we found that vampire...”
 I flinched, remembering that. Spike was so close to becoming himself again.
He ran into a vampire who was turned fairly recently from MIT. Spike always
claimed that was the nice thing about Boston, all the college students who
were turned there were from Ivy League schools, so they were smarter than
the average fledgling. Unfortunatly, they all thought they knew everything,
so they all wanted to run the pack, become Master within a day. Spike showed
them all who was boss, however, and in the process, met a vampire who
thought he could short circuit the implant. The test was supposed to take
place next week. If it succeeded, Spike promised the vamp a rise in status.
 “I know. We found him. But my friends....” I trailed off. I was being
selfish. I knew I was.
 Spike kissed my forehead. “You need to go. So we will go.”
 “But your implant...” I protested.
 “We can get that taken care of after. Just promise me we will return here,
and not stay in that damned place.”
 I smile, knowing what he has put off. “I promise.” I lean up and kiss my
peroxide blonde and smile coyly. I take his hand gently, leading him to the
bedroom. “You’ll be rewarded...”
 A smile crossed his lips as he jumped on the bed. “Oh will I?”

Because all I ever wanted
It's in your eyes baby, baby
And love can't lie, no...
(Greet me with the eyes of a child)
My love is always tell me to...
(Heaven is a kiss and a smile)
Just hold on, hold on
I won't let you go, my baby

 Sunnydale was hard on her. Not just hard on her, hard on the both of us.
Peaches was there as well as the damned May Queen trying to put things back
together again in Sunnyhell. It wasn’t easy. Chubs, was having a hard time
walking, and the watcher, well, he didn’t want to do much of anything. But
wolfboy was right. Willow managed to fix everything. She was amazing. She
performed a location spell on Buffy, discovering that she had flown back to
LA to see her father. Willow and Angel went right after her, dragging her
whiney ass back to the Hellmouth. Buffy still accused Willow of betraying
her, but she was at least speaking to her.
 The others had come around. I guess after six months of being gone, they
realized how much I truly cared for her. Things were actually going okay.
The only hard part for myself was seeing Willow around dogboy.

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind

 I smiled. An honest genuine smile. It was the first time since we had been
in Sunnydale that I had actually smiled around anyone that wasn’t Spike. Oz
was wonderful. I missed his friendship so much. He filled me in on what
happened while we were in Boston, telling me how he had come back, to find
everyone in shambles. They never actually thought I would ever leave the
Hellmouth. But when I did, they were stunned.
 It amazed me how much Spike left me alone. He trusted me. Especially around
Oz. I knew he was jealous. Oz admitted to me that he wanted me back. Spike
knew that would happen. But I had no feelings for him. Just pure friendship.
 On the last night, I sat in the hotel room that I had been in with Spike
for a month. While we had been in Sunnydale, I patched up the friendship
with Xander and Giles. The relationship with Buffy was still tense, but I
understood where she was coming from. It was her sworn duty to slay
vampires. And Spike was a vampire.
 He was packing our stuff, and I looked him over. His figure was so lean and
muscular, he still gave me chills when I saw him undress. He looked over and
I smiled.
 “Luv, what are you thinking of? You have that look in your eyes.”
 I looked at him innocently. “Look? I don’t have a look.”
 “Do I have to get it out of you?” Spike loved it when I played hard to get.
 “Maybe.” I replied as he captured my lips in a bruising kiss.

I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
(So I am gonna love you)
Until the end of time

 She trembled beneath me as we made love that night. The coupling we had was
so raw and needy, we hadn’t mated that way since the first two weeks of our
relationship. I collapsed on top of her, her body recovering from the orgasm
that she had just had. I looked at her face. I couldn’t read it. Damn. I
hated when she got this way. All pensive. It made me worry. I hated
worrying. I was a vampire.
 She could be thinking a million things at this point. She is going to miss
this place I know. For whatever reason, this time she will. She probably
wants to stay here with her friends. God I hate this place. But for her, I
would stay in Sunnydale forever. For her, I would never kill another living
thing again.
 My mind wanders back to that first night at my flat. The way she looked,
her hair dripping, the stress in her face from the decision she made. All I
remember is how I wanted to kiss that stress away. Make her love me
unconditionally. And now, I know where ever she goes, I will follow. If she
decides that she needs to stay here, so be it. I’ll stay in this stupid
town. She loves her friends.
 As if reading my mind, she turns to me. “Spike?” she calls out sleepily.
 I stoke her hair gently. “Yes Luv?”
 Her eyes melt into mine with adoration. “Let’s leave first thing in the
morning for Boston.”
 “Of course, luv.” I smile. She loves her friends, but she loves me more.

I will be your father
I will be your preacher
I will be your daddy
I will be the one who loves you until the end of time

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